I love the messsage about marriage. Whoever is reading this and being haunted by your past, mistakes and regrets. Your past cannot define who you are. You are stronger in mind and will overcome. Focus on what's ahead of you. Peace
I didn't think I needed to see this video but your message hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm single and honestly all I want is to get married. But now that I think about it, I'm probably not ready. I'm still so new to faith and maybe I have to build up my relationship with God first and commit to Him first. I never thought of it like that. Just realised this, so thank you SO much!
Good for you, Sophie! I was very fortunate that I found God and my man at the same time. He was actually the one who motivated me to get close to God. I feel so blessed to have found God and my now-fiance. Life is getting much better. I still have a lot of work to do, but little by little, I am improving. I also wish you a great journey with God full of great growth!
I would be very careful about getting married if I were you. As a woman, you are making yourself subject to your husband and once you are married, you cannot divorce. And if you do, you cannot get married again. Unless you are a widow, you only get one shot. The man you marry must be a godly man with an active relationship with God and mature in the faith otherwise I guarantee you, you will be very unhappy and feel stuck for a very long time. Marriage isn't what you think it is. It is not that cutesy partner in crime tv relationship. You are literally trading in your freedom to serve a man for the rest of your life. Which can be fine if the one you serve, loves and respects you. Since you never really know someone until you have seen their ugly side, it is better to stay single and focus on the Lord to fulfill you. Not another man. And if you want children, there are so many in the fostercare system praying for a forever home.
"Being single is easy...wow." This is what I realized when I stepped out of my first and only relationship almost a year ago (I'm in my twenties) after years of seeking one. I still didn't know God/didn't want to but walking away was an absolute relief, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Nothing wrong with the person, and we're still friendly! But relationships require effort from both parts, and marriage lasts beyond the wedding day. Now I'm saved and I LOVE being single! I already have the love of my life to meet me every morning when I open my Bible. His definition of love is unparalleled.
You are completely right! I've been married for two years and didn't realize how much sacrifice it entails. What a blessing that you are learning these things before the wedding so you are mentally prepared. Enjoy this season in your life! And congratulations on the engagement!
Your channel has encouraged me to recreate the relationship with God, I feel now why spreading His word is one of your life purposes! Love from Lithuania
Kian, thank you for taking your time & making these videos. I have learned so much through u. I have been a Christian but I am gaining so much wisdom through u and u helped me encourage myself to read the word more in the Bible. & helping me be grateful for being single now but also helping me prepare for marriage if that is God’s will for me.❤️❤️ lots of love💕 & I pray God blesses u and Kyle.
Sis, this is the best video you’ve made thus far ! Bless your soul! Thank you for being transparent and being obedient to the Lord. Being raw and honest about this.
It’s so cool to see the Holy Spirit so evident in your life! Thank you for your faithfulness to God and for being willing to share everything that you’re learning. You’re amazing Kian!💗
So encouraging! I love that you said something along the lines of the reason we crave marriage so much is because we think more of what we will get out of it rather than what we will give. I never thought of it that way...thank you for your insight 💗
It is better to stay single and pursue God for the fulfillment you crave. If you desire children? There are so many children in the Foster care system praying for a family.
I'm craving marriage because two is better than one. When one is down, the other can lift the other up and your Harvest will be double, more souls for the Kingdom so if you are obeying the Lord, you will get a lot of good stuff out of marriage. But I'm not craving to marry a child that wants to argue about the sun being a darker yellow than I believe when there's souls that need to know the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Amen. I have been married for going on four years now and it is difficult. I'm not saying that isn't worth it, but it was so much easier and "fun" when I was single (not fun in the bad way). Marriage is a path of death to yourself.
I’m in a relationship and starting to realize everything that implies having a relationship under divine order. This video is great. Thanks for all of your content 💓✝️🙌🏼
Kian, I'm so happy that I've found your channel! Your speaking wonderful things, I can feel that this is from God :) I've been single all my life and I have always thought marriage would be the way you say - romantic and easy. Now, I came to realisation that it is hard work but 100% worth it and it would help those two people to become saint by fighting for each other and helping to grow. Well... the best is yet to come. Thank you Kian, lots of love and God bless you
I absolutely loved this! I did not expect it to speak to me as much as it did. Love your enthusiasm to spread more of God’s Word and truth! Thank you, thank you! Praying for you and Kyle to have a relationship, through all the hills and valleys, that withstands the test of time and is an outward example of God’s love, too all who get to know you guys! 🙏🏻💙
Thank you for sharing truth, even when it’s not popular, that’s true discipleship. What your saying God has shown me through quarantine but it’s so good to hear it over and over and to truly set in motion servant hood ❤️🙌🏻
Kian, this video is such a gift! You are so well spoken. What you said perfectly falls in line with belief that marriage isn’t supposed to make you happy or whole, it’s to make you holy. I can't speak for myself quite yet, but being marriage I imagine gives us all the ultimate opportunity to purify our hearts and souls. All the best to you and your eventual nuptials!
Thank you for a raw and honest video! I have never dated anyone or even been asked out so it is hard when everyone else around you has. Sometimes it is tough because there are people my age getting married next year and I feel so behind or like there is something wrong with me. Sometimes I'm afraid that God wont allow me to get married until 10 years from now. Needless to say this made me feel a lot better about myself lol.
This gives me so much encouragement for my faith in God's timing as I was starting to question His knowing or seeing me at all because I felt for sure I was ready for my husband, but now... I see He definitely knows me better than I know myself 😅
Wow ! Amazing encouragement! Just what ive been going through with my partner and im the one thats always saying those exact words ...that its so hard... but bottom line is that we still love each other despite our fights ... i guess its when we love God first we will have the love for our partner despite our imperfections ! Thanks sis for this 😍😍😍
I love this video! This was very well said! And i totally agree I think when we crave or want a relationship/marriage it’s really out craving/wanting a closer relationship with God! Because if we crave a relationship then that’s truly a relationship with God. If we are fulfilled with Him then that’s all we need and He will provide on His will! Just like you said we much die to ourselves in relationship with another person, we must die to ourselves with God and give it all to Him and let His will be done! Ive realized this a while ago and I’m just happy to see a video about it! This is so beautiful and May God bless you!
Wow! Thank you sososo much for this video! I`m in a relationship now and I had the same thoughts about marriage. This really showed me that I`m not the only one going through this! God bless you!
Not saying you are, but don't rush, sis. After having been married for almost four years now, I wish I could go back and change somethings. Singleness and marriage are two different cups of poison--either way you're going to experience pain, but just different kinds.
You are so sweet! Thank you for sharing so much truth and not sugar coating it! This is stuff I’m learning as well (although not in a relationship) and being content with my Lord and seeing how He can use me to help and serve others and not hyper focusing on a relationship that I may be dreaming up in my head! Thank you again, keep doing the good work☺️🙏🏼❣️
Well done for talking on this Kian! all I hear the last few years is ‘marriage is hard but it’s worth it’ it’s not wonder the divorce rate is up, If you don’t have Christ (which so many people don’t!) then it cannot work! Christ is our model!
I was up at 4:30 this morning and was thinking about this! I felt like I was mourning my singleness (like you said, the ease of singleness) but am still so excited to marry my Jesus-loving fiancé! I have to pray the fear of the unknowns of marriage away. I have really appreciated journeying with you as an engaged woman. Thank you!
Denying yourself isn't something you just need to do for marriage, it's a fundamental part of walking in righteousness and obedience to Christ. Being single, it's easier to live your life without being forced to face your own fleshly nature but marriage puts you in a situation where you're forced to confront it. Your partner is like a mirror. You can see your own flaws by the effect your fleshly nature has on them. This is true for any type of relationship but the husband and wife relationship is very intimate so even the smallest things can become big issues and the effect you have on one another is easier to see.
What has me worried now is that I don't know if we will ever be able go meet others in the regular way. With coronavirus the world is virtual and meeting someone like that is not common. I have been waiting for 6 years now, being completely single and the wait gets a bit harder as time goes by.
Very, very powerful message. I have added this video to my "marriage/relationship advice" playlist. Also, as I was listening to what you were saying, another scripture popped into my mind regarding love. It reminds us that love is not a mere feeling, but an action: "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:8). Though, I think words are important too since even our actions alone can be misunderstood and misinterpreted. I think of how James teaches that words are powerful (James 3:1-12). Another thing I thought of as you were talking is how extremely important it is to be equally yoked with a believer in relationships. If one of you was not a believer, and you have to practice servant-hood and unconditional love towards one another, imagine how much more difficult that would be. The unbelieving partner would not share the same convictions of unconditional love, servant-hood, obedience, submission, etc. So, they would have no issue with taking advantage of the believing spouse. There are many reasons why being equally yoked in a relationship is important - but, this is definitely one of consideration. DO NOT be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If any believer is tempted to be unequally yoked with another believer, don't do it. God isn't trying to impede your fun. He isn't trying to punish you with singleness. He's trying to protect you from the negative repercussions of being unequally yoked - whether those repercussions are practical, emotional, physical, or spiritual. Just don't do it. It isn't worth the price you would pay in the long run.
Well said! I do believe we get something though, companionship that challenges is us yes, but the truth is having a mirror is one of the best things ever! Also , acting on sexual desires in an appropriate context (which is okay as we're sexual beings and while that honours GOD in marriage, the pleasure is something we enjoy).
To be honest with you, I feel like your my friend. And you don't even know me😆😆 When I need to communicate to a friend, I search for you! GOD BLESS you and your family 🙏
KIAN!!! Yesss!!! 👏 Bringing more raw honest truth! Girl I’m so proud of you for being bold. You’re right- marriage is suppose to shape us and mold us more into the image of Christ. Going on 3 years of marriage and I couldn’t agree more to everything you said. It’s so worth it but not easy for sure.
This is such an amazing message that the church needs to hear more!! So many sad singles out there are thinking that they’re missing out on an all fun, no stress thing called marriage. That’s not what Godly marriage is at all!! It’s Christ’s sacrificial love on display 💕
This makes me realise all the more how I thought I wanted to live independently but this covid19 situation and not having friends to look after and feed the meals I love to make--for at least 3-5people....(I’ve grown used to doing whenever I cooked in the past)....-all this has made me realise that no matter what I’m doing now or how I’m living for God....I just want someone to share it with. Someone to serve and look up to for the rest of my life. Someone who’ll just be there to hold me when I wish to come home and cry so that I can continue to face the day with a smile, knowing that I can hold in the cry for when I come home-and it won’t be an empty pillow. I spent my whole life taking care of kids and looking after my family.... when I started living on my own -I realised ...I may not want to rush into having kids of my own just yet ...there are so many kids out there... but... I’d just like to share life with someone and take care of at least one person -to love them more than myself (because that motivates me to be a better person)....and look after them for the rest of my life...and my only condition or wish is that they choose to stay with me no matter what and trust that God will get us through and keep us together through all things. Yeah, that poured out. Thank you for helping me realise this. A friend sent me this and now I’m grateful for this bit of clarity 🙏 bless your hearts 💕 and relationship for all you’re doing for Jesus 🥰
@Tyler Lee Yes, actually. We got married at the beginning of this year. And I'm travelling with my husband now - heading to our new home- after the miracle of finally receiving my residency permit just a few days ago!!! Thank you sooo much for your prayers 🥹🙏🏼
@Tyler Lee and you too!- may you be so blessed as you grow in your prayer life & walk with the Lord! No doubt, a mightily praying man like yourself would soon receive the answers to his prayers and be such a blessing to whomever he's around wherever you may go! Shalom 🕊️
I recommend the book Love Your Husband Before You Have One by Kim Vollendorf. It’s absolutely amazing & it has helped me so much. She is a Christian also & is so amazing. She even responds to DMs! ❤️
Thank you for telling me I need to get my relationship with God in check first. Lately I have been craving a godly relationship, but then my relationship with God still needs work. I need some discipline in my relationship with God, I want my priorities to be God first ! God bless the video Kian ! Thank you for the encouragement !!!
"if you're single saying to yourself, 'my life would just be better if a man came into my life' don't think of a relationship as something you will get out of it, but rather, what you will give." Conviction coming in hot. So good and challenging. I realize now why some of my relationships haven't worked out, I was only expecting. Now I'm working on my relationship with God firstly and finding my fulfillment in Him so that when God brings my man to me, ill be ready to give and serve. Lets be real here, no PERSON can satisfy you, you have to find CONTENTMENT in God.
@@Hellenpastor That's fair, marriage will happen on God's timing. Sometimes marriage isn't for everyone and that's okay, it's not the end all be all of being a Christian.
This was SUCH a blessing for me right now! You have already influenced me in my season of singleness, but this just helped me put things into perspective even more! God is doing so much through you and this! Whoo. God bless you gal!
I really respect the realness and rawness of this video. I am in a season of singleness and this is helpful to shift my focus. Thank you! More people need to talk about things like this.
Everything that you shared in this video blessed me so much today. I could actually cry. I don’t recall if I’ve ever heard someone share on the joys & realities of both marriage and singleness in this way. It was very refreshing and timely for me to watch today 💛 thank you
I am embracing singleness for life. I don't want to be married. Yes I'll miss certain aspects of the married life, but overall I prefer to live by myself. I like being me not blended with someone else.
This blessed me sooooo much. Seriously Kian, thank you for helping me shift my perspective of my singleness. I really needed this. God bless you. Thank you for being so real, and for speaking the truth in love as we are called to.
I'm curious: how would you surrender to God within a relationship if the other person is not doing the same thing. That sounds like a one-sided relationship. Is that why it's so important to be equally yoked? So that you can trust that they're also doing the same thing and forgiving you for your mistakes and imperfections as they chase God's heart?
Brothers and sisters, Men and Women the scriptures say 1 Corinthians 7 King James Version 7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. 18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. 21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. 22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant. 23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. 24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God. 25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. 27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. 32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. 36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. 39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God. Matthew 5:32 King James Version 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
I've been married a very long time (almost 30 years) and here's some advice I gave to my nieces and nephews about what to do before walking down the aisle. 1) Get to know who you're marrying-I mean really know them and their family because you're not just marrying your partner, you marry their family too and ask yourself, "Can I live with this person & family the rest of my life?" 2) While it may add an extra cost, get a blood test and genetic screen. Most couples plan on having a family so it might be helpful to know if you can even get pregnant before you start trying. If one of you is RH-negative and the other RH-positive, you may have trouble conceiving and sustaining a pregnancy. The genetic screening will also save you a ton of heartbreak in the long run-genetic disabilities can result in the early death of a child or worse, passing the condition on to another generation. While you may still want to take your chances, it's helpful to know ahead of time so you can both make informed decisions. 3) Your wedding is only one day in your life but you have the whole rest of your life to be married. Whether you marry in Church with all the trimmings, run off to Las Vegas or get married in an alternative location, you're just as married and that's the important part. Don't ruin relationships over little details because you're hell bent on making your wedding perfect.
This video was really amazing. As a follower of Christ in my single season, it feels nice to have the true nature of marriage honestly and gently explained. It was like a big sister was talking to me.
I just wanted to say, i'm so glad i stumbled upon your channel, i love it and your videos have opened my eyes to a lot of things, keep doing what you are doing and spreading the Gospel.
Oh girl this is soo good! It’s clear God has anointed you to share this word. Praise God 🙌🏼So beautiful to see your growth. Praying for your relationship and future marriage ❤️
God bless you, friends! This truly was an eye-opener from God through you to me! I pray He blesses your marriage and your life. May you have a great day!
Thank you SO much for all the things you are sharing with us and especially in this video, I've never heard this point of view of marriage explains like that. I am very happy to heard that the single diaries are comming back! Merci! God bless you
Girl I'm crying over a boy that I really liked ghosting me right now and I stumbled onto your channel. It is getting me THROUGH. This video in particular really encouraged me and spoke to me. Thank you for speaking such truth in a gracious way.
Kian, God has blessed you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us! I am thankful to God for bringing you into my life. His timing is truly divine.
Thank you Kian. The Lord is answering me. What's crazy is a few hours ago i felt i should ask my future spouse whilst courting or before to define what he believes marriage to be for him. I then decided i would seek out what Abba says about it because i would then also answer him obviously. I just felt to discover practically what it is in holiness. This video answers a lot praise God. Also I just kept doubting now that my time is near. I kept seeing many divorces and wondered if it's too soon for me to marry or i may want to be "free" some more while knowing time is nearing. But i know my destiny. Got so much Truth and Life in this thanks.
I just stumbled upon your channel about a week ago and have just been bingeing all of your videos because you speak so deeply into my heart. This video especially spoke to me. Thank you for being so vulnerable and transparent!
GIRL this video is SUCH an answered prayer. i literally asked my stepdad and mom last night what they miss about their single years. this is no coincidence. thank you so much.
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maybe the relationship we're craving is our relationship with God, not a significant other right now :')
AMEN
I agree
Then maybe we need to ask ourselves why do we feel that way ? What's causing us to feel lonely or thirsty for a partner ?
YES
I did because I didn’t hand it over
I love the messsage about marriage. Whoever is reading this and being haunted by your past, mistakes and regrets. Your past cannot define who you are. You are stronger in mind and will overcome. Focus on what's ahead of you. Peace
Wow Amen Amen
Thank you. My past is a rough one and I feel like it would keep me from being married one day
I didn't think I needed to see this video but your message hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm single and honestly all I want is to get married. But now that I think about it, I'm probably not ready. I'm still so new to faith and maybe I have to build up my relationship with God first and commit to Him first. I never thought of it like that. Just realised this, so thank you SO much!
Good for you, Sophie!
I was very fortunate that I found God and my man at the same time.
He was actually the one who motivated me to get close to God.
I feel so blessed to have found God and my now-fiance.
Life is getting much better.
I still have a lot of work to do, but little by little, I am improving.
I also wish you a great journey with God full of great growth!
She Finds Him that's awesome! Thank you😊
I would be very careful about getting married if I were you. As a woman, you are making yourself subject to your husband and once you are married, you cannot divorce. And if you do, you cannot get married again. Unless you are a widow, you only get one shot. The man you marry must be a godly man with an active relationship with God and mature in the faith otherwise I guarantee you, you will be very unhappy and feel stuck for a very long time. Marriage isn't what you think it is. It is not that cutesy partner in crime tv relationship. You are literally trading in your freedom to serve a man for the rest of your life. Which can be fine if the one you serve, loves and respects you. Since you never really know someone until you have seen their ugly side, it is better to stay single and focus on the Lord to fulfill you. Not another man. And if you want children, there are so many in the fostercare system praying for a forever home.
GIRL good for you for realizing that! Just wanted to encourage you. It's very mature to have that sort of epiphany.
"Being single is easy...wow."
This is what I realized when I stepped out of my first and only relationship almost a year ago (I'm in my twenties) after years of seeking one. I still didn't know God/didn't want to but walking away was an absolute relief, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Nothing wrong with the person, and we're still friendly! But relationships require effort from both parts, and marriage lasts beyond the wedding day.
Now I'm saved and I LOVE being single! I already have the love of my life to meet me every morning when I open my Bible. His definition of love is unparalleled.
Yeah that’s so cool!!
Woow this is exactly what I am going through
Bro are you me? Lol that described me to a T
SO GOOD BABY! I love you 😍
Love you too honey 🥰
LOL! You guys are too adorable!
You are completely right! I've been married for two years and didn't realize how much sacrifice it entails. What a blessing that you are learning these things before the wedding so you are mentally prepared. Enjoy this season in your life! And congratulations on the engagement!
Girll! The Holy Spirit was speaking right through you! I will pray that your marriage will glorify God in every aspect! I love this video!
Your channel has encouraged me to recreate the relationship with God, I feel now why spreading His word is one of your life purposes! Love from Lithuania
Kaip smagu rasti lietuvę❤️❤️😍😍
That word “Selflessness” is so powerful 🌱
Kian, thank you for taking your time & making these videos. I have learned so much through u. I have been a Christian but I am gaining so much wisdom through u and u helped me encourage myself to read the word more in the Bible. & helping me be grateful for being single now but also helping me prepare for marriage if that is God’s will for me.❤️❤️ lots of love💕 & I pray God blesses u and Kyle.
AMEN! God is working in your life in powerful ways. Thank you for the kind words!
God is speaking to me right,left,center 😭😭Thank you ❤️
So good to hear He is using this! Praise Jesus 🙏🏼
Sis, this is the best video you’ve made thus far ! Bless your soul! Thank you for being transparent and being obedient to the Lord. Being raw and honest about this.
Wow this is definitely one of the most wise relationship advice type videos I’ve ever seen. Kian you really killed it!!
It’s so cool to see the Holy Spirit so evident in your life! Thank you for your faithfulness to God and for being willing to share everything that you’re learning. You’re amazing Kian!💗
So encouraging! I love that you said something along the lines of the reason we crave marriage so much is because we think more of what we will get out of it rather than what we will give. I never thought of it that way...thank you for your insight 💗
So insightful. Really wish I had heard this back when I was younger. I could have saved myself from so much heartache!
It is better to stay single and pursue God for the fulfillment you crave. If you desire children? There are so many children in the Foster care system praying for a family.
I'm craving marriage because two is better than one. When one is down, the other can lift the other up and your Harvest will be double, more souls for the Kingdom so if you are obeying the Lord, you will get a lot of good stuff out of marriage. But I'm not craving to marry a child that wants to argue about the sun being a darker yellow than I believe when there's souls that need to know the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
As someone in a loving relationship on the path to marriage, I so second all of this! Praise God for you Kian! 💛
Amen. I have been married for going on four years now and it is difficult. I'm not saying that isn't worth it, but it was so much easier and "fun" when I was single (not fun in the bad way). Marriage is a path of death to yourself.
I’m in a relationship and starting to realize everything that implies having a relationship under divine order. This video is great. Thanks for all of your content 💓✝️🙌🏼
Kian, I'm so happy that I've found your channel! Your speaking wonderful things, I can feel that this is from God :) I've been single all my life and I have always thought marriage would be the way you say - romantic and easy. Now, I came to realisation that it is hard work but 100% worth it and it would help those two people to become saint by fighting for each other and helping to grow. Well... the best is yet to come. Thank you Kian, lots of love and God bless you
Thanks so much this! Super helpful, and love that we can look at Marriage as a way to serve and Glorify Our awesome God xo
I absolutely loved this! I did not expect it to speak to me as much as it did. Love your enthusiasm to spread more of God’s Word and truth! Thank you, thank you! Praying for you and Kyle to have a relationship, through all the hills and valleys, that withstands the test of time and is an outward example of God’s love, too all who get to know you guys! 🙏🏻💙
Thank you for sharing truth, even when it’s not popular, that’s true discipleship. What your saying God has shown me through quarantine but it’s so good to hear it over and over and to truly set in motion servant hood ❤️🙌🏻
Kian, this video is such a gift! You are so well spoken. What you said perfectly falls in line with belief that marriage isn’t supposed to make you happy or whole, it’s to make you holy. I can't speak for myself quite yet, but being marriage I imagine gives us all the ultimate opportunity to purify our hearts and souls. All the best to you and your eventual nuptials!
Thank you for a raw and honest video! I have never dated anyone or even been asked out so it is hard when everyone else around you has. Sometimes it is tough because there are people my age getting married next year and I feel so behind or like there is something wrong with me. Sometimes I'm afraid that God wont allow me to get married until 10 years from now. Needless to say this made me feel a lot better about myself lol.
This gives me so much encouragement for my faith in God's timing as I was starting to question His knowing or seeing me at all because I felt for sure I was ready for my husband, but now... I see He definitely knows me better than I know myself 😅
This is the most least generic video ever. This was HELPFUL. You are extremely wise. Thank you so much Ki💛💛
Wow ! Amazing encouragement! Just what ive been going through with my partner and im the one thats always saying those exact words ...that its so hard... but bottom line is that we still love each other despite our fights ... i guess its when we love God first we will have the love for our partner despite our imperfections ! Thanks sis for this 😍😍😍
I love this video! This was very well said! And i totally agree I think when we crave or want a relationship/marriage it’s really out craving/wanting a closer relationship with God! Because if we crave a relationship then that’s truly a relationship with God. If we are fulfilled with Him then that’s all we need and He will provide on His will! Just like you said we much die to ourselves in relationship with another person, we must die to ourselves with God and give it all to Him and let His will be done!
Ive realized this a while ago and I’m just happy to see a video about it! This is so beautiful and May God bless you!
Wow! Thank you sososo much for this video! I`m in a relationship now and I had the same thoughts about marriage. This really showed me that I`m not the only one going through this! God bless you!
Not saying you are, but don't rush, sis. After having been married for almost four years now, I wish I could go back and change somethings. Singleness and marriage are two different cups of poison--either way you're going to experience pain, but just different kinds.
You are so sweet! Thank you for sharing so much truth and not sugar coating it! This is stuff I’m learning as well (although not in a relationship) and being content with my Lord and seeing how He can use me to help and serve others and not hyper focusing on a relationship that I may be dreaming up in my head! Thank you again, keep doing the good work☺️🙏🏼❣️
Don't rush the process, guys. If you settle for less, you'll live with great regret.
So well said! Thank you for sharing the hard truth
Well done for talking on this Kian! all I hear the last few years is ‘marriage is hard but it’s worth it’ it’s not wonder the divorce rate is up, If you don’t have Christ (which so many people don’t!) then it cannot work! Christ is our model!
This message is so needed! Good job Kian! Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty.
I was up at 4:30 this morning and was thinking about this! I felt like I was mourning my singleness (like you said, the ease of singleness) but am still so excited to marry my Jesus-loving fiancé! I have to pray the fear of the unknowns of marriage away. I have really appreciated journeying with you as an engaged woman. Thank you!
Denying yourself isn't something you just need to do for marriage, it's a fundamental part of walking in righteousness and obedience to Christ. Being single, it's easier to live your life without being forced to face your own fleshly nature but marriage puts you in a situation where you're forced to confront it.
Your partner is like a mirror. You can see your own flaws by the effect your fleshly nature has on them. This is true for any type of relationship but the husband and wife relationship is very intimate so even the smallest things can become big issues and the effect you have on one another is easier to see.
I NEVER THOUGHT BEING SINGLE WAS DIFFICULT. NO ONE I KNOW THOUGHT IT WAS.
What has me worried now is that I don't know if we will ever be able go meet others in the regular way. With coronavirus the world is virtual and meeting someone like that is not common. I have been waiting for 6 years now, being completely single and the wait gets a bit harder as time goes by.
“Marriage is walking the narrow path, not the easy one.” Wow i love that, well said girl 💕
Very, very powerful message. I have added this video to my "marriage/relationship advice" playlist.
Also, as I was listening to what you were saying, another scripture popped into my mind regarding love. It reminds us that love is not a mere feeling, but an action: "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:8). Though, I think words are important too since even our actions alone can be misunderstood and misinterpreted. I think of how James teaches that words are powerful (James 3:1-12).
Another thing I thought of as you were talking is how extremely important it is to be equally yoked with a believer in relationships. If one of you was not a believer, and you have to practice servant-hood and unconditional love towards one another, imagine how much more difficult that would be. The unbelieving partner would not share the same convictions of unconditional love, servant-hood, obedience, submission, etc. So, they would have no issue with taking advantage of the believing spouse. There are many reasons why being equally yoked in a relationship is important - but, this is definitely one of consideration. DO NOT be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If any believer is tempted to be unequally yoked with another believer, don't do it. God isn't trying to impede your fun. He isn't trying to punish you with singleness. He's trying to protect you from the negative repercussions of being unequally yoked - whether those repercussions are practical, emotional, physical, or spiritual. Just don't do it. It isn't worth the price you would pay in the long run.
Well said! I do believe we get something though, companionship that challenges is us yes, but the truth is having a mirror is one of the best things ever! Also
, acting on sexual desires in an appropriate context (which is okay as we're sexual beings and while that honours GOD in marriage, the pleasure is something we enjoy).
To be honest with you, I feel like your my friend. And you don't even know me😆😆
When I need to communicate to a friend, I search for you!
GOD BLESS you and your family 🙏
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us and being vulnerable and open. My point of view has totally changed. Be blessed 😘
Literally what I needed😭. Only 7 mins in God bless you sis, be a light for our generation by the Grace of God🥺🙌🏾!
Kian, thankyou for being obedient to God and shining Christ’s light in this generation💛
KIAN!!! Yesss!!! 👏 Bringing more raw honest truth! Girl I’m so proud of you for being bold. You’re right- marriage is suppose to shape us and mold us more into the image of Christ. Going on 3 years of marriage and I couldn’t agree more to everything you said. It’s so worth it but not easy for sure.
I've finally come to love my season of singleness and now I don't want to leave this season! I don't want anything to come between me and Jesus!
This is such an amazing message that the church needs to hear more!! So many sad singles out there are thinking that they’re missing out on an all fun, no stress thing called marriage. That’s not what Godly marriage is at all!! It’s Christ’s sacrificial love on display 💕
Just wanna say...red is your color!!! Thanks for always being transparent. ❤️
This was so enlightening, wow Kian the Holy Spirit speaks so strongly through you! Love your vids and congrats on the marriage!!
lol I need to re-watch this everyday till it really sticks in my head!! Great video :)
Omg yes! I can relate with you! Being single is easy compared to being in a relationship.
This makes me realise all the more how I thought I wanted to live independently but this covid19 situation and not having friends to look after and feed the meals I love to make--for at least 3-5people....(I’ve grown used to doing whenever I cooked in the past)....-all this has made me realise that no matter what I’m doing now or how I’m living for God....I just want someone to share it with. Someone to serve and look up to for the rest of my life. Someone who’ll just be there to hold me when I wish to come home and cry so that I can continue to face the day with a smile, knowing that I can hold in the cry for when I come home-and it won’t be an empty pillow.
I spent my whole life taking care of kids and looking after my family.... when I started living on my own -I realised ...I may not want to rush into having kids of my own just yet ...there are so many kids out there... but... I’d just like to share life with someone and take care of at least one person -to love them more than myself (because that motivates me to be a better person)....and look after them for the rest of my life...and my only condition or wish is that they choose to stay with me no matter what and trust that God will get us through and keep us together through all things.
Yeah, that poured out. Thank you for helping me realise this. A friend sent me this and now I’m grateful for this bit of clarity 🙏 bless your hearts 💕 and relationship for all you’re doing for Jesus 🥰
@Tyler Lee Yes, actually. We got married at the beginning of this year. And I'm travelling with my husband now - heading to our new home- after the miracle of finally receiving my residency permit just a few days ago!!! Thank you sooo much for your prayers 🥹🙏🏼
@Tyler Lee and you too!- may you be so blessed as you grow in your prayer life & walk with the Lord! No doubt, a mightily praying man like yourself would soon receive the answers to his prayers and be such a blessing to whomever he's around wherever you may go! Shalom 🕊️
❤yess! This video is for me even tho im single 😂
I recommend the book Love Your Husband Before You Have One by Kim Vollendorf. It’s absolutely amazing & it has helped me so much. She is a Christian also & is so amazing. She even responds to DMs! ❤️
Thank you for telling me I need to get my relationship with God in check first. Lately I have been craving a godly relationship, but then my relationship with God still needs work. I need some discipline in my relationship with God, I want my priorities to be God first ! God bless the video Kian ! Thank you for the encouragement !!!
Your hair is so beautiful but you would look so pretty with shorter hair
"if you're single saying to yourself, 'my life would just be better if a man came into my life' don't think of a relationship as something you will get out of it, but rather, what you will give." Conviction coming in hot. So good and challenging. I realize now why some of my relationships haven't worked out, I was only expecting. Now I'm working on my relationship with God firstly and finding my fulfillment in Him so that when God brings my man to me, ill be ready to give and serve. Lets be real here, no PERSON can satisfy you, you have to find CONTENTMENT in God.
This entire video made me realize that I DO NOT want to be married for a very very long time.
How come?
Ashley Scott because I do not want to deal with anyone right now. I wanna enjoy being single.
@@Hellenpastor That's fair, marriage will happen on God's timing. Sometimes marriage isn't for everyone and that's okay, it's not the end all be all of being a Christian.
This was SUCH a blessing for me right now! You have already influenced me in my season of singleness, but this just helped me put things into perspective even more! God is doing so much through you and this! Whoo. God bless you gal!
Thank you so much for sharing this Kian ❤️ I needed to hear this in my season of singleness.
I really respect the realness and rawness of this video. I am in a season of singleness and this is helpful to shift my focus. Thank you! More people need to talk about things like this.
So real. So wise.
My heart is in a really selfish place right now I’m not ready to not be selfish with myself.
such a beautiful message, thank you!
I am 13. Don’t know why I feel I need to watch this but I do haha.
Everything that you shared in this video blessed me so much today. I could actually cry. I don’t recall if I’ve ever heard someone share on the joys & realities of both marriage and singleness in this way. It was very refreshing and timely for me to watch today 💛 thank you
Thank you so much for sharing!!
Thank you so much for this video! So well explained and biblically sound!
I am embracing singleness for life. I don't want to be married. Yes I'll miss certain aspects of the married life, but overall I prefer to live by myself. I like being me not blended with someone else.
This blessed me sooooo much. Seriously Kian, thank you for helping me shift my perspective of my singleness. I really needed this. God bless you. Thank you for being so real, and for speaking the truth in love as we are called to.
This is terrifying because you want to make sure the man is someone worthy enough to submit to. I'm not trying to submit to SATAN! ah!
Thank you! As a soon to be 33 year old woman. Recently single. This is great. Thank you.😊
I'm curious: how would you surrender to God within a relationship if the other person is not doing the same thing. That sounds like a one-sided relationship. Is that why it's so important to be equally yoked? So that you can trust that they're also doing the same thing and forgiving you for your mistakes and imperfections as they chase God's heart?
Brothers and sisters, Men and Women the scriptures say
1 Corinthians 7
King James Version
7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant.
23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
Matthew 5:32
King James Version
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
I've been married a very long time (almost 30 years) and here's some advice I gave to my nieces and nephews about what to do before walking down the aisle. 1) Get to know who you're marrying-I mean really know them and their family because you're not just marrying your partner, you marry their family too and ask yourself, "Can I live with this person & family the rest of my life?" 2) While it may add an extra cost, get a blood test and genetic screen. Most couples plan on having a family so it might be helpful to know if you can even get pregnant before you start trying. If one of you is RH-negative and the other RH-positive, you may have trouble conceiving and sustaining a pregnancy. The genetic screening will also save you a ton of heartbreak in the long run-genetic disabilities can result in the early death of a child or worse, passing the condition on to another generation. While you may still want to take your chances, it's helpful to know ahead of time so you can both make informed decisions. 3) Your wedding is only one day in your life but you have the whole rest of your life to be married. Whether you marry in Church with all the trimmings, run off to Las Vegas or get married in an alternative location, you're just as married and that's the important part. Don't ruin relationships over little details because you're hell bent on making your wedding perfect.
Thank you for the honesty! It's not always about Roses. Very helpful.
Love everything you spoke about in this video Kian!!!
This is really good. Love all the different perspectives
I hope to be the best wife ever and look forward to my wedding night so much. I’m still a single virgin at 27 but I hope I’m beautiful to someone
This video was really amazing. As a follower of Christ in my single season, it feels nice to have the true nature of marriage honestly and gently explained. It was like a big sister was talking to me.
Thank you so much for your obedience in starting this channel! It's like God spoke RIGHT THROUGH YOU. So so grateful - thank you !
Wow this really opened my eyes! Thankyou so much
You come across nice to people in your videos... But you are rude to people when they try to talk to you.
Can you and Kyle do a reaction video to this video now that you’ve been married awhile. ❤
I want to serve, God and my future husband 🙏
I just wanted to say, i'm so glad i stumbled upon your channel, i love it and your videos have opened my eyes to a lot of things, keep doing what you are doing and spreading the Gospel.
What curling wand or tools did you use to style your hair on this video?!
Oh girl this is soo good! It’s clear God has anointed you to share this word. Praise God 🙌🏼So beautiful to see your growth. Praying for your relationship and future marriage ❤️
God bless you, friends! This truly was an eye-opener from God through you to me! I pray He blesses your marriage and your life. May you have a great day!
Thank you SO much for all the things you are sharing with us and especially in this video, I've never heard this point of view of marriage explains like that. I am very happy to heard that the single diaries are comming back! Merci!
God bless you
Girl I'm crying over a boy that I really liked ghosting me right now and I stumbled onto your channel. It is getting me THROUGH. This video in particular really encouraged me and spoke to me. Thank you for speaking such truth in a gracious way.
Kian, God has blessed you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us! I am thankful to God for bringing you into my life. His timing is truly divine.
Im married I agree be like a servant it’s hard.
Can u do a part 2 cool ways to serve your spouse? It’s hard so I’ll take all the tips:)
Thank you Kian. The Lord is answering me. What's crazy is a few hours ago i felt i should ask my future spouse whilst courting or before to define what he believes marriage to be for him. I then decided i would seek out what Abba says about it because i would then also answer him obviously. I just felt to discover practically what it is in holiness. This video answers a lot praise God. Also I just kept doubting now that my time is near. I kept seeing many divorces and wondered if it's too soon for me to marry or i may want to be "free" some more while knowing time is nearing. But i know my destiny. Got so much Truth and Life in this thanks.
I just stumbled upon your channel about a week ago and have just been bingeing all of your videos because you speak so deeply into my heart. This video especially spoke to me. Thank you for being so vulnerable and transparent!
God def brought me here (: It blew my mind when you said that your fiancés name is kyle , made it even more personal for me 🙈
GIRL this video is SUCH an answered prayer. i literally asked my stepdad and mom last night what they miss about their single years. this is no coincidence. thank you so much.