No, the algorithm that the Government controls has ruined the minds of the masses! People REFUSE to see the TRUTH and what’s really going on behind closed doors! The Government won’t tell you I’m Jesus Christ and how the 🕍 tortured my soul!! We live in a simulation! The 🕍 at the “top” of the pyramid aKA “food chain” are 🪳
My daughter is giving a presentation in school this week. Half the class just said they weren't doing it. When I was in school (I'm 44 now) there wasn't even an option to not do it.
That’s a good thing. Nobody should be forced to do something against their will. If you don’t work you don’t make no money but you have the choice. Shouldn’t force anyone to stand in front of everyone and present a project and speech or else they fail. Not right
One of my favorite quotes is from a Navy SEAL who said, "toughness is putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation until it is no longer uncomfortable. "
I’m a therapist and one of the first things I always recommend is exercise, eating healthier and getting OUT of your head and into the world. Any good therapist should know this stuff.
She just single handedly expressed what I’ve been saying for years “regularly concentrating on your bad feelings will make you feel bad” simple as that
on the flip side to this, i think there's nothing wrong with concentrating on how you feel bad regularly as long as you redirect that energy to improvement or some sort of cautious optimism because you have to examine why you feel bad to overcome it. think its important to say this if someone reads this and decides to be like overly positive which is also mad annoying
@@beabadoobeefanq_q3701people who refuse to let themselves feel bad are like people who refuse to clean their home or take out the trash. When you ignore your problems, it feels like you’re having more fun and things are better, but that shit will pile up around you and start fuckin up your life.
I’ve gone through therapy and all this describes exactly how I feel about it NOW. For sure. Sure maybe it helped at first. But it’s NOT what works long term and correctly. I’ve now evolved to “everything is all shit anyways so I have to start liking shit” And it’s working for sure. I’ve become quite comfortable being uncomfortable and just expect it to be now so. That’s what I really needed to get over. Therapy does NOT address that.
What really helped me as a gen Zer was staying off social media, not comparing my self to others, and dipping my hand into everything I can. when I was 18 I was admitted to a psych ward because I was spending too much time thinking and moping about how much of a loser I felt like that I was becoming delusional hoping that my life would change somehow. When I started taking action and going back to school and pursuing a career my focus shifted from “why is my life like this?” to “how can I turn my life into this?”
Good move, social media is poison! Invest that time in something else that is actually good for your future and well being. Social Media will be the exact same BS ten years from now as it is today. Instagram for instance is just a marketing tool, more than half of what gets posted are fake. People as well, don't try too hard to make people happy, It is impossible. Been there and done that, learnt my lesson when it comes to people :)
Gen X here, and I want you to know that I see a lot of promise in your generation. You are the most like us, but we need to remind you that you are very resilient more than you realize. We had to fend for ourselves and it made us tougher because of it. I also see your generation as the one that brings the country back to God. Most of our problems are because secularism allows no room for mistakes and you learn a lot from failures. Faith gives you purpose to want to improve yourself while not worrying about others or comparing yourself to others. God loves us and never gives up on us and we are all redeemable. Please remember that. Hugs to you, you guys will accomplish a lot if you lead the nation back to its roots.
What she says in the end here is the key. There is nothing wrong with feeling *all* emotions, including unpleasant or undesirable ones like anxiety or sadness, etc. All emotions are important and beneficial for different reasons. It's when you try to avoid or suppress these emotions when problems and disorders start to happen. For some reason we've come to believe that if you feel bad once in a while and aren't happy all the time then there is something wrong with you. And that couldn't be further from the truth. You can't have joy without sadness, just like there is no light without darkness. That is how it works. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
We can't come unless you give your name! What you say I utterly agree with though the key is how we "frame" this. It is the endless mental chatter that we identify with that feeds identification with the so-called negative emotions. In truth it is quite possible we have learnt to think of many of these as negative when they're actually just energy. The trick is watching thoughts and seeing they are NOT who we are. They are for the most part habitual conditioning. But would love to watch your talk if you say who you are or send a link. Take care
As a Pastor, this is absolutely true, I have personally seen someone who was a complete shut in, massive anxiety, panic attacks overmedicated. Step away from that, start going outside bit by bit, expanding their world bit by bit, getting exercise. Spending time in prayer, running errands etc. To now being able to walk to their local church daily and interacting with people. They are now going to go back to school and are getting their life right! Praise God! Medication and therapy typically make things worse, sometimes its needed, but ultimately, ruminating on the problem makes it bigger. Most people just need goals to work towards, daily physical exercise and IRL social time. A lot of these kids today spend all day indoors thinking. Its not good for them.
We couldn’t afford therapy growing up. Instead we went to confession at church. When I was 15 years old (in the 80s) I was confessing to the Priest feeling like a horrible person. He leaned around the screen (which was a shock to me) and said, “You need to lighten up. You are not a bad kid. I’m not even going to make you do penance. You are free to go.” I was so shocked! I took his words to heart and now in my 50s still remind myself of that. Society at large (and of course parents) needs to reinforce to young people they are ok. It’s ok to make mistakes. To try and fail. Failure is learning in action. Failure is feedback. I wish I could give all Gen Z’s a big hug. Instead I volunteer at my Alma Mater to give talks to classes and Jen asked to do so and speak on resilience. As a mom of 3 adult sons I’m an expert. I bet you are too! Let’s be the village to support and encourage the younger generations-not mock them.
❤️ thanks for that. I’ve commented this on another post but I do feel like gen z is a product of their environment (chronic stress, fear, uncertainty, insecurity). I think it’s really hard for us to find community, support, generosity and a place where we feel safe. Instead, it feels like we are met with more judgment, fear and criticism. We are great kids but we are really struggling right now and need someone to believe in us as we are.
Fuck yes!!! Thank you for that. As a millennial who didn't have everything given to them I'm grateful as fuck for my parents and mentors. I may not have been given everything I ever wanted as a kid. However, I was given everything I ever needed.
that’s true. and they’ve been cushioned from every sad, disappointing or bad emotion. When you aren’t able to experience that and learn from it as a young kid it hits you hard as a teen and adult. The schools do this from the start. kids are supposed to socialize that way with each other but adults get way too involved and don’t let them figure it out.
I want and they just kept asking how does that make you feel to everything I said. While looking at the clock very obviously just waiting for the hour to be over so they can go home. 😂😂😂
Years ago, my aunt lost her husband to Alzheimer's. It was a slow and agonizing death. Towards the end she had to put curtains up in the living room because he would see his reflection in the glass sliding doors at night and either try to talk to "that man" or be so scared "he was after him". Years later, after I had been married for a while, I began to have a deeper understanding of how hard that had to have been, and the weight of that hit me so hard I cried (and I don't cry). I see her about once a year at Thanksgiving, so the next Thanksgiving I went up to her and said how much respect I had for her going through that - she stuck with him to the very end. Her response to me was simple. She said, "I come from a tough family, and that's just what we do." She's a child of the Greatest Generation - an actual Boomer. We have a lot to learn from previous generations, and I'm inspired and thankful to call her "family."
I miss my strong and wise grandma who just passed❤️ I learned so much from her which I hope to pass down to my future family someday. I genuinely believe it was a greater generation of stronger folks. We can deff learn something!
@@a1islamovic It *definitely* was "a greater generation of stronger folks." My dad grew up in the 1930s; he was an old man by the time I was born. When I think about how he raised me, and what he taught me, and compare it to my friends' parents, who were generally born in the late 50s or early 60s...I was very lucky.
The "greatest generation" was the WWI survivors. My parents were the "Silent Generation" and I'm an old boomer. I wouldn't say boomers were great. But they did figure out when relatively young what the "Establishment" was up to and did what they could to neutralize them.
The "greatest generation" because they supported mass murder that didn't need to happen and "supported the government" which now spies on us all steals our wealth and has murdered millions to profit the weapons companies and the banks. See the brainwash there??
I am an elder mil. one foot in X - and my father told me life would be hard, sometimes you will loose and sometimes you will win. Not everyone will like you - like yourself and you will find your tribe. I thought he was a little tough on me - but now.. in life during this crazy time, I am so so grateful.
I used to have severe depression. Then I turned 28 years old and realized I had wasted over 10 years of my life dwelling on problems and negative things. I had been to therapists, AA meetings, and been on multiple prescriptions. No doctor ever asked me how much sleep I got or gave me any real actionable advice. They just let me talk. And talk. And talk. And my sadness never got better. Then one day I read a famous old saying, “A young man went to an old wise man and said, “Old man, I have 2 dogs who are fighting, which one will win?” The old man said, “The one that you feed.”” This saying taught me that whatever you give your attention to is what you will become. I do not believe therapy or prescription drugs were ever truly helpful for me. Creating goals for myself and getting involved in healthy things is what saved me.
This is basically my exact experience if you change our AA with OA-although I struggled with drinking also… finding meditation and Jordan Peterson’s work also helped me immensely. Attaching myself to another person and other people who were aiming up was huge… having supportive friends and family and cutting out toxic folk (which was basically a byproduct of the work that became self evidently necessary). I am so grateful for this video to help us raise our kids with a little more “tough love” and they get this proverb regularly as my fiancé is Native American and therefore our kids ancestors told this story… continue to tell this story. Continue to live this story… keep feeding the good wolves, friends.
Lots of people have PTSD, but usually the undereducated think PTSD is only real when you’re having a full blown panic attack or some shell shock looking episode. PTSD is everywhere, nowadays it’s most likely C-PTSD. Are people over exaggerating it ? Probably, but it’s there
@@shadow13265 Saying it's there is a MOOT point. Nobody denies the reality of its existence. It's the fact that a label is being used for the self righteous gain.
I remember when I got back from the psych ward after an unalive attempt when I was younger. I had undiagnosed bipolar depression and was just starting treatment. My family asked me what they could do to help me, and I told them straight up, act like nothing is wrong. Don't treat me like I'm sick. Please, just treat me like everything is normal. If things around me feel normal, I feel better. If I'm having depressive thoughts, I'll talk to the therapist who helps me through them. I'll talk to my psychiatrist about changing up meds. But from my family, from my environment, I want stability and positivity. If everyone around me is constantly asking me if everything is okay and do I feel good today? I'm going to be thinking about why everything is _not_ okay all the time. Treating me like I'm depressed made me more depressed. I needed support and love, but not coddling. A hug and a "You'll be okay" goes a long way.
She is undoubtedly one of the smartest, most common sense people I have ever heard explain depression & anxiety! This is terrific! Everyone should listen to this! Great job again Joe Rogan!
Many forget that hormones are all messed up, too. I’m a nurse and so many young men have low testosterone. Low testosterone is associated with anxiety, fatigue, and low self esteem.
what are some reasons this generation has lower testosterone? Rogan had that one lady that claimed it was plastics seeping into our systems. Anything else common that might cause it?
@@hapaharley1706Its most likely parents not giving a fuck about their kids and sticking them in front of screens to distract them. The kids grow up complacent and without doing anything physical theyre not gonna be producing testosterone right. Its the parents not parenting. Its what it always has been.
I was widowed 3 years ago, with 2 teenage boys and 7 year old girl. It was very traumatic for all of us, brain aneurysm at home in the middle of conversation. I had therapists want to put my 15 year old son on ssri after having talked to him for a total of 5 minutes. Wrong. This really bad crazy thing happened and you witnessed it. You need to process this event and move forward not block it out with chemicals. So that’s what we did. He felt all things as they came and we talked about it together, still do. One of my kids tried to pull the “I’m special because this happened.” Wrong. You are not special. Bad shit happens every day, it sucks. But that’s not permission to be a drain on the world around you. You can’t control what happened, but you can control your response to it. We aren’t moving on, we’re moving forward. Me specifically knowing I’ve already had the worst day of my life, I can handle whatever comes. And so can they.
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your family is doing fine. You sound like a great mother and I hope everything turns out or continues turning out alright.
I can only imagine how tough this must’ve been for you and your children. And you also sound like a very wise strong and capable woman! Your kids will absolutely thank you when they’re old enough to understand how much you’ve endured to keep them safe and allow them to grow into the same capable strong adults that you are.
Parents MUST be strong. Who else is there?? Parents are no more prepared for adulthood, let alone raising others to be adults, than anyone else. Let that sink in. Parents "step up to the plate." They wing it daily, pulling from reservoirs previously unknown to themselves, hoping those under their care (and oftentimes themselves too) mentally survive another couple days. @@Mannsy83
I’m so grateful to hear this conversation. I went through a clinical depression some years ago over family stuff overwhelming me and generally stuffing my feelings. Dr gave me antidepressants and anxiety meds. I didn’t like feeling “flat” emotionally and basically quit after 4 days. I was determined to get out of my own head and started going to the gym and walking and journaling. Prayer saved my life. I am a baby boomer. Raised my kids to push through. They are doing great. I’m so grateful I did it. I agree that family connections are very important. We have strong connections with our past and know victories our ancestors have been through
I finally went to a therapist for a few months to address anxiety that I’ve had for 20-25 years (since childhood) and she helped me train my mind rather than give me meds. I think I saw her for 6 months and she was happy that I didn’t need her anymore. It was hard work but I never had that toolkit before. I think these kids need a toolkit rather than coddling .
That's great. I manage a healthcare centre & I see way too many ppl coming to see Drs & therapist with anxiety & they just get medicated to the hilt & after a while they end up with a addiction.
Please..im interested to know what worked for you as well..i am not currently in the right place (financially) to be able to afford therapy..i know everyone is different but any tips would be hugely appreciated
Gen Z here, my husband passed away when I was 8 months pregnant. Obviously, it was awful and devastating but something curious also happened. My anxiety, I'd been plagued with since I was 9yo vanished. A social worker came to talk with me in the hospital and said, "This is going to be a trauma for you..." and I cut her off "ma'am I dont think this is a trauma, its simply just a tradegy" We are so insulated from death, in modern society, and while it's a horrible experience to endure loss, it does ground you. None of the little things bother you after enduring something so earthshattering.
Parents do need to say “ Move on “ I’m Gen x , I grew up in good times. I do not envy Gen z , especially with social media , the economy , crazy politics, lack Of Community , etc etc But they will need to figure it out - and they will ❤
Throughout my life, I've seen about 4 therapists. I think it's important to understand that with therapy, the first therapist you come across might not be a good fit for you. A good indication for me was that everything they were telling me made me feel like I already knew, like I could guess where they were going to take things because the questions were extremely basic and almost "boring" in a sense. There was "no breakthrough". Usually by the second visit, I knew if it was gonna work or not. One therapist wouldn't listen at all and just asked a bunch of text-book questions and would just write and write, but she was young and "new" to it I guess, idk. Another therapist, tried hypnotizing me by the second visit, and I was like, "NOPE!". It took me 4 therapists and at 28 years old, I found that a child therapist was the answer and gave me an enormous amount of help. I don't know if the fact that my trauma stemmed from childhood made the difference cause her approach was like nothing I ever experienced. We meditated, listened to music, drew maps and formulated timelines of events, journaling was also a thing and so on...and it was incredible. It saved my life. I went for 8 sessions and that was the last time I went to therapy. Also, it's important to understand that even though therapy and psychiatry go hand in hand and they work together, you don't need a psychiatrist to get well. One thing I realized is that therapy was one thing and psychiatry was another. I had to learn that on my own because that was never explained to me. It was always, you go to therapy, then you visit with the psychiatrist and then if therapy was "over" you'd then comtinue on with the psychiatrist. More than that, if you started on a certain dosage, they would start increasing it little by little because it's a chemical that your body gets "used" to, so they say and they have to continue raising the dosage. So I learned to understand that as well and because I saw what medication did to my mom, I vowed never to use it. So I did my therapy with no medication and I always voiced that to my therapists. Some would say, "well, we'll try and see..." meaning they would try to convince me of it later again and so I wouldn't go back. And that child therapist I saw simply said to me, "okay, I respect that. And we can certaintly do that." I was suffering from conversion disorder and agorophobia at the time and I never needed medicine. My conversion disorder ceased. I've never had another episode and I just turned 41. I sometimes still feel a little agorophobic in certain places, but very seldom. A low stress lifestyle, working remotely, good diet, positive social media (podcasts on spirituality like Buddhism, Ekart Tolle, BK Shivani, Affirmation Guided Meditations, how to financially stabilize myself, etc) have changed my life. So I'm an advocate for therapy 100% but you gotta understand that you have the ability to say no to the things that are not serving you. And you most certaintly got to want to get better. Of course, every situation is unique and the way I went about things is not a cure-all for everybody, some people do really need medication, but the point is that just because you go to therapy doesn't mean, they control all aspects. You have to ask questions too, and voice your concerns about your health as well. You have to make it into a conversation, and formulate an understanding of what it is you're looking to accomplish and understand the process of what it'a going to take for you and your therapist to accomplish it together.
I’m 23, I’ve lost friends, family, hell I’ve even had to hold my friend in my arms and give him cpr to bring him back. It’s hard to say and do, but you gotta just think of everything as character building and a learning moment about yourself. Then you move on to the next part of life. Life always moves forward, you gotta make sure you’re moving with it❤
Nervousness has been replaced with anxiety, sadness with depression, bad memories with PTSD, concentration with hyper focus, quirky with autistic, particularity with OCD. Basically what has happened is all aspects with everyone's personalities suddenly evolved into mental health buzzwords pushed along by tiktok and aided by better help. I can have a change in mood or a reaction to something without needing to psycho analyze myself and that's something everybody needs to relearn.
But what if you actually have autism? These mfs who fake ruin it for people who actually have it, I've felt different from anyone ever since I was toddler, it's some innate thing in me, different from you gen x
Read the _Tao Te Ching._ "Regarding muddy water: the more you try to stir the dirt out of it, the murkier it gets... leave it alone, and the dirt will settle out by itself."
Even better read the bible, the word of God, not just of man. 2 Timothy 1:7: For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Psalm 55:22: Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Hebrews 13:6: So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Matthew 6:34: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
I've suffered depression on and off since I was a teenager. I spent the majority of my early 20s with untreated depression and it led to me neglecting my health and even just general hygiene. to the point that I wouldn't even brush my hair for days on end and I gained a ton of weight. It wasn't until I got on an antidepressant that I was able to have the energy to pull myself out of that funk and make positive changes in my life like going to the gym and focusing on taking better care of myself
As a nineties kid, we went to school full time and had jobs at 13-14 years old so we could get a car, save money for the future or help our parents out. But we were outside more in nature, had real human connections and contacts and more importantly we didn’t have social media. Social media, in my humble opinion, is a major factor for these issues.
That's true but people work full time and can't afford basic necessities. Kids see the "grown ups" struggle because the economy is bad and wages are low. All I'm saying is it's different now, in tje 90s we could get a bs job and afford to buy and do stuff. These kids today? They get called lazy because they won't work a sht job for sht pay smh
It can be but also it's hard to explain to the older generations how them having to work and stuff at 13-14 years old is actually a major route cause of a lot of their trauma that they don't understand. That was so wrong that you all had to do that even if the outcome is perceived as great because in reality you weren't allowed to be a kid you were stripped of it early.
@@christjosh8853I worked at 13 and I still had a childhood. I only worked on the weekends 5 hours a day. I liked the idea earning money and owned at beater car when I hit 16 .
@@christjosh8853what?? We wanted to work and make money to buy vehicles and other stuff our parents couldn’t afford for us. Over I know in the 90’s at school tried get their driving permit at 15 so they had enough time under their belt to get their DL at 16. It was great. We taught to not be victims and take responsibility for our actions and also to be respectful. Can’t say the same for gen z.
I’m a child therapist with an LPC but my undergraduate degree is in psychology and A big part of what I do is parent training rather than talk therapy. Parents absolutely transfer huge amounts of anxiety, over protect, and they live their life through a screen.
I was a child therapist in the school system for a while. I left the field because I could not be part of the systemic psychological abuse of children, the "therapeutic education", the weekly manipulative "circle times", the teaching boys that they are inferior to girls, the teaching and preaching that "there is no such thing as truth and right and wrong", that gender is a social construct, that the white male patriarchy wrecked the planet and oppresses girls and women, the banning of activities that boys enjoy, encouraging girls to "be assertive" and boys to "cry more", to value emotions and feelings over all else,... etc, etc.
So You say parents over do it, yet at the same time you had to give us all the credentials you had to gather before you were allowed to professionally talk with children, don't you think needing a Masters & a PHD plus all these certifications just to be a therapist is part of the problem too? By the time ya'll are allowed to practice your completely brainwashed.
I will say, as a 40 year old, screens feel safer and parents have always been transferring their fears and anxiety onto their children! I'm consciously trying to not put my issues onto my kids. My daughter is definitely not affected by my issues in the slightest and I admire her "I can do anything" attitude. I do want her to know that she will be hurt at times, but that's life's way of telling her to reevaluate things
As if decades of Journalist Activism isn't a HUGE part of the problem. Please. I like TJRE, but not this drivel. People like her are a huge part of the problem. Maybe that explains Joe's long pause after she finally shuts her yap at the beginning of the video. Would have loved to know what he was really thinking.
@@fastinbulvis2223 You have no idea what you are talking about. The causes and best treatments for anxiety have been well understood for decades but swamped and covered over with hundreds of false leftist studies that fail independent replication, and a flood of expensive exacerbation programs that further generate the problem and make wealthy careers for everyone involved in them.
I have schizoaffective (combo of schizophrenia and bipolar) im 24 now and havent had an episode in 3 years due to sticking to treatment, the right meds, resilience and focusing on self care like journalling. If you want to get better sometimes falling on your face hard helps you realise like fck i need to do better and be better. My second psychosis 3 yrs ago came about because i stopped medication and thought i was healthy again. My ex ended things during my last psychosis and it hurt me so much because i realised i lost him and i lost myself in not treating my illness seriously and accpting that. It was a growth oppurtunity i see now and a huge life lesson.
I have schizophrenia. My last episode was when Ukraine war started. I live in Russia. So it was stressful. I stopped my medication and I am still ok. As soon as I understand sometimes it torments you for years and then as mysteriously as it appeared it just as mysteriously disappears. I wish you never experience another episode.
This is a great clip. Feeling those things when they're not debilitating to your overall quality of life and don't pose a threat to your life (depressive unaliving thoughts, etc), are mega beneficial. Listening to this made me think back to all those moments of triumph which give me confidence today, and those memories of the journeys I went through to overcome some tough shit gives me good vibes.
I have a son with autism and a younger daughter. My daughter told me she had ADHD when she was 14. Self diagnosed lol. I knew she was fine. Just human. We had already gone through the steps of diagnosing my son with ADHD years before this, which took years. Literally. I entertained my daughter with a trip to a therapist thinking the therapist would tell her she was fine. I sat in a waiting room for 45 minutes and the therapist came to me and said she definitely had ADHD and they would hook her up with drugs right away (without talking to anyone but my daughter). Mind you, my son had MOUNTAINS of questionnaires that had to be filled out by any adult that had contact with him to be diagnosed with this just 6 years earlier. That's when I realized NO therapist is going to tell you that you're ok. That destroys their customer base. This is why every part of being human is now a "condition". They have made an industry out of feelings.
@@Andrewoo99ADHD is not real. Describe to me a single shared trait between those with “ADHD”. Not shared behaviors. Not shared thought processes. A gene, a bio marker, a brain structure. You can’t because no sure shared trait exists. ADHD is medicalization of a personality type. If you know anything about evolution by natural selection you can clearly see how advantageous the so-called “disorder” would have been in our evolutionary environment.
My mom has always been the only person to say I don't have ADHD in a sea of people telling me I do have ADHD. I feel like I wasted years believing I did and it made my focus worse instead of working to improve it. I had the perfect excuse to be lazy with my attention and speech. I'm working on it now and it's slow and a conscious effort but I believe it's working. Being deficient in crucial vitamins and minerals have contributed to it as well so I'm doing that in tandem. Maybe hard to pinpoint which is helping more, but I do feel it's both.
Ive suffered with anxiety and depression most of my life. The best tip i can give is to find something you enjoy and are passionate about. For me it was hunting, fishing, and just being outdoors. Exercise is important to.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I appreciate that Rogan argued with her when she was belittling bullying. My sister was bulled and over 20 years later she’s still affected (albeit subconsciously).
Millennial here. Been through the bottom of mental illness. I’m over it now and living an amazing life. #1 thing that helps me is waking up and getting tf out of bed early in the morning. Around 7am. Life changing for me.
Some excellent points were made. We have 2 girls in college, and the amount of depression and anxiety among this generation is shocking! Between social media, the weight of the world's issues, financial struggles and job insecurity it's easy to see why. Oh and don't forget social anxiety too.
@@RicoWorldPeace yeah, I actually got up at 5 today. Alarm was for 6:30 but sunrise got me up. 7 I think is reasonable because that means you can kinda wind down around 9pm, chill out, read a book or whatever. 10pm you’re brushing teeth plugging in your phone. Sleep occurs from 11pm-7am. It’s just a little more reasonable since my wife is a little bit of an evening person and I get to spend more time with her. I used to do 3am wake ups because I’d hit the gym before my construction job. That means in bed asleep by 7pm. That was crazy.
I went on meds for depression and anxiety and my parents would tell me they’ve also experienced very similar symptoms sometime in life but they had to push through and had responsibilities so they just did what was needed to be done. However they did help me out and never questioned my symptoms. But they also did tell me to get out of the house more and not sit alone in my room because that would force me to think and think and getting anxious. I used to get angry at them thinking they don’t understand but now after years of being off the meds, I realise how good my parents’ advice was.
@@cherobinson6371 Aside from being barely legible, that's an odd response. Not everyone needs to be medicated, and doctors prescribe and push these things a majority of the time on people with less severe symptoms. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. I have felt suicidal and unable to function, and I take an anti-depressant. I haven't always, and won't forever. Everyone is different. Don't take offense simply because someone else got good advice, and didn't need the medication themselves.
I found this video fascinating. I’m a military retiree who fights the idea that I have PTSD and my therapist insists on getting me to accept it. She’s willing to label it something else, but is set on me accepting my issues the military ‘gave me’. She tells me I have ‘trauma’ from car accidents and the lack of medical treatment I got at the ER on base. She doesn’t seem to try to encourage resilience but assigning labels and reasons. This video opened my eyes to stuff I was already feeling in ‘therapy’. I was stationed at CENTCOM during a rough time and might have ‘issues’ with how we were treated, what we did or what we saw, but she is trying to get me to assign blame and almost use those things as excuses. A few of my fellow vets are in prison, one is on death row currently and the excuse is always PTSD. There’s such a bad connotation with that now that I’m ashamed to say I might have it. Medical professionals told me for years my chronic pain from breaking my back had to give me depression. Anyone with as much physical injury and pain MUST be depressed. If I believed them, I would be the most depressed pos. People don’t teach resilience and sadly, or in my case,luckily, it’s in us or iit’s not.
Read the body keeps the score. It shows fMRIs and goes into studies that show the impacts of PTSD on the brain. Sorry to hear there is a negative connotation about it. Just because other people have it and use it as an excuse for their actions doesn’t mean those of us who take accountability and manage an illness should be punished for it. I have Bipolar II and have the same issues with negative connotations. I am open about it though, if they don’t want to educate themselves on it that’s not my problem.
If you have symptoms that one can categorize as "PTSD", but you personally get along fine with them, and in life in general, you dont have PTSD. Simple as that. Subjective suffering is necessary for (most) diagnoses, not the symptoms per se.
@@metalslegend I mean if you get a Dx by a professional, you have PTSD. People can be high functioning with any illness, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have it. An fMRI and how the body reacts to tramua would also disagree with “oh, you’re high functioning so you don’t have PTSD.” This isn’t towards you, it’s the author lol, but, I don’t think people should talk on mental illness unless they worked with a medical professional, have read books/reseach and/or are in therapy. It’s what annoys me about this author to begin with. Tell me she knows nothing about trauma and therapy without telling me she knows nothing and we have her book lol.
@@PinkFlip23 Subjective suffering is necessary for most mental/psychiatric diagnoses, also for PTSD. The symptoms of PTSD typically go hand in hand with significant distress and impairments. Therefore, this aspect is not usually given much consideration. However, for other mental disorders, it makes sense to distinguish symptoms from a mental disorder. Mental disorder requires extensively subjective experienced impairment, because of the symptoms. Therefore, the fMRI scan doesn't help too much here. If one actually has PTSD, with suffering, etc., I also assume that the activity and/or structure of the brain changes. However, this could also be the case by symptoms without significant suffering. I'm not familiar with the study situation on this in particular.
@@metalslegend I mean yes suffering is involved but people can appear fully functioning with a mental disorder. I have Bipolar II disorder. I have had episodes where I have very high functioning depression and others where it impacts my functioning. Hypomania in itself doesn’t cause clinical dysfunction. I looked into the DSM5 criteria. If you look at the DSM5 it does say criterion G suggests significant symptom related distress OR functional impairment(social, work, school.) so that part is required for a diagnosis. I had a friend with PTSD after her mom passed so I know from experience on what it looks like. It’s interesting how diagnosis’s are made because it can be hard for it to be 100% subjective. A lot of mental health professionals only use the DSM5 for an outline. The DSM5 is highly scrutinized in the field. Are there therapists that suck, yes, but that’s every job. It’s up to the patient to do the work as well. You get out what you put into therapy. It takes work. This author has 0 credentials or hasn’t read a book on this subject. She probably hasn’t had real therapy or good therapy for herself. There’s a great video Dr. Ana(Dr. in clinical psychology) who has a video debunking what this author is saying in this book with research and goes on a whole hour about it. One point she talks about is that there’s tons of research that proves holding emotions in is bad for us both physically and mentally. It’s an interesting video.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and I’ve grown tremendously because of therapy. I have Bipolar II disorder and I will probably be therapy in most, if not all, of my life. I have a good job, eat SUPER healthy, go to the gym five days a week, and run errands. Guess what? I still struggle with depression from Bipolar disorder, current and past trauma, or debilitating anxiety. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. Our brains ruminate naturally. Exploring that in therapy and having them intervene helps stop rumination. They are actually trained to help with rumination. Therapy does the complete opposite of encouraging rumination. I kept ruminating on an event and even kept having nightmares. After two sessions, the rumination and nightmares came to a stop. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or won’t acknowledge they are repeating their childhood trauma because they are blind to it. I was, too, until therapy. Most people grow up in dysfunctional families and wouldn’t know a healthy relationship or healthy communication if it hit them in the face. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense or something some people can push through, at least not healthily. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. Listen to Huberman, a neuroscientist who is educated on the subject. The people who don’t go are the ones who need it the most, I’ve noticed. The people in my life who won’t go to therapy have the most toxic behaviors, maladaptive coping skills, and don’t know what it takes to have a healthy relationship. This low-key set me off as it’s spewing nonsense and putting stigma back out there for therapy and is false information. She also acts like it’s the therapist's job to tell someone what to do, which is ethically wrong for therapists to practice for a good reason. No one can tell you what’s best for you. They ask you questions and guide you to come to your own conclusions and what’s best for you. If you want to read about resilience, read Supernormal. Yes, trauma is a part of life. It’s why therapists and the field of psychology exist to begin with, to help ease our suffering and cultivate better and healthier coping skills and relationships. Another good book, Body Keeps the Score, literally has brain scans that prove our brains can't just “get over” trauma to counteract that point made of just getting over it. When she gives that example of returning to school and calling it a bad memory, it isn’t that, it is a flashback look at an fMRI. The brain will show what it did as if the trauma were actively happening. We learn these things so we can better help ourselves and treat others. Just because we can say “get over it”, doesn’t mean we should. Just because we have our hands doesn’t mean we don’t use tools. Same goes for therapy, just because we have our brain doesn’t mean we can’t use tools to help ourselves make our lives better and easier. Just because we all have hands doesn’t mean some don’t get arthritis. Same with our brains. Just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t get mental illness as a result. The point is, just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t need treatment. It’s why we invent things like tools. As we keep learning about psychology and our brains the more we are learning the way we used to do things isn’t good and there are better ways to go about it instead of just ignoring our trauma and pushing things down. This whole conversation is essentially against using a tool that lessons our suffering, and progresses and educates us.
this interview has heavy old man yells at clouds vibes. Maybe gen Z is more anxious than previous generations because they are facing climate change disasters, struggling under late stage capitalism, and in the US are the second generation after Millennials to not do better than their parents. maybe if Joe got therapy hed recognize the size and responsibility of his platform and stop platforming pseudoscience idiots and far right thought leaders.
My grandmother used to always say “Stop complaining and do something about it”. She was bipolar and raised 6 kids and was hospitalized a few times. She struggled with mental illness but also knew you had to live your life and not wallow in the pain! I also have mood/panic disorder and I lived a full life, career, marriage, children. I had a few episodes where I had to stop and get help, but came back from the setback and kept going!
The Myth of Mental Illness is a great book, back then it was simple "struggle or die." Today western culture will provide all you need to self destruct (affirmation, medication, payment from the state etc.) since there's no drive to struggle.
Imagine if you had really bad tooth pain that was all awareness-consuming and were expected to not talk to anyone about it. How would you feel about that?
The mind can play tricks on you. It is self destructive to think that you are not supposed to go through life without pain, hurdles, obstacles and difficulties. That's part of being a human being. So being told to get on with it is something that can sometimes be the answer you need to hear and not the thing you want to hear. The tooth pain is coming from a specific place and therefore you can do something about it. @@ckoperni
I have friends who do therapy and they literally have never gotten any less depressed or anxious, just more pretentious and willing to talk about thier problems 24/7. Thank you for articulating this!!!!
Get out and LIVE!! Why go to a screwed up individual to get advice??? Open your mind to God and Jesus. Go outside and hike, fish, hunt, ski, white water raft, etc! Lift weights and don’t take shit from ANYONE! So it and lose a bit of who you are each time. Fight em willingly knowing you might get hurt or worse with NO fear is AWESOME!!!! Believe me. I KNOW!!! This is the secret sauce. F most people. Get in my shit and find out!!!! Love friends and family and live with NO fear!!!
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
It doesn’t work! I dated a chick for years who was in therapy on and off for large portions of that time. Did she improve her coping mechanisms or conflict resolution skills… NOPE
Therapy works, but just like with drugs, some people misuse them. These friends you are talking about would have used other methods to get attention if therapy isn't the popular thing right now. Therapy didn't make them insufferable, they are insufferable to begin with. Therapy has helped lots of people, especially people who suffers a from abuse, to learn tools to love themselves and skills to cope with life. If Jeffery Dahmer had gotten therapy and psychiatric medicine, he probably wouldn't eat people. He eats people to find a connection, dude doesn't know how to form a bond with people without eating them.
I'm a girl , i have two sisters. And my mom raised us telling us to suck it up. Told is that life will beat us way harder then the pain we feel now. It was great. I see how we grew up so much more resilient then people around us.
We are a shake it off…rub dirt in it…problem solve it household. I also try to be aware and there for him when his anxiety is high. It’s really tough to find a balance sometimes. 😞
I was 10 years old when I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. For a kid of that era it was a relatively brief period of great traumatic stress that had a beginning, middle and an end in an otherwise "free range" childhood. As a retired therapist when I try to understand Gen-Z - I can't help but contrast their childhood to mine. This generation grew up with the "chronic traumatic stress" of a sort of "non-stop Cuban Missile Crisis" - with the supposed "adults in the room" constantly scaring the hell of them. For two+ decades the mantra has been - "there could be another terrorist attack at any time anywhere," "Orange Alert," "Red Alert," "if you see something - say something," "climate change is going to kill us all," "we only have five more years to save the planet or we're doomed," "covid will kill us all - or if not, the next pandemic will," and endless variations on the theme of imminent apocalypse. In other words this generation has grown up contending with a sort of chronic unresolvable fear response - in reaction to things "they are powerless to control" - all because of endless bat-shit crazy government propaganda operations aimed at controlling the minds of we adults. Perhaps these kids mental health has ended up as another form of - "collateral damage" - as the psychopaths in charge like to refer to it. We are watching these same kids now retreat into the fantasy world of "gender- ideology," and 'trigger warnings," and "canceling speakers they disagree with," and claiming that - "words can be violence." Maybe there is more to be unpacked in understanding "why" they can interpret "language" to be "violence." Maybe telling kids for two straight decades that the planet's going to be uninhabitable next year - "IS IN FACT "WORDS" - AS VIOLENCE." Just a thought.
The other form of fear is school shootings. My kids are growing up with active shooter response drills during school. I can’t imagine what that does to your psyche.
@@anybodyoutthere3208CME is a legitimate threat to electronics and the power grid, especially since we’re approaching the solar maximum, and scientists expect it to last longer than usual
Hi Gary, I was trying to find my thoughts on why I disagreed with this speaker and I think you summed it up. I do agree with some things she said, like wallowing in our pains and that those tough emotions becoming a catalyst for something great. But sometimes I get upset because gen z is looked at as losers/kids who need to get their shit together but it does feel like we are just a product of our environment. Not to mention, we grew up in the boom of electronics and social media that greatly impacted us. I want others to realize that we are great kids, we are just lacking our sense of security and safety. Sincerely Lily (born ‘98)
The best two things my therapist would say to me: 1. "My job is to give you the tools so you don't need me. We're trying to work me out of a job." 2. At the end of a session where she felt I was fine, she'd say, "Let's not book anything until you think you really need me." Sometimes that was weeks or months or years. Therapy is great when you need it. But you should be building a skillset with the therapist's support that eventually makes them irrelevant.
Gabor Mate mentioned in a video, that a study showed that during wartime depression goes away. There is a sense of purpose, helping others and survival that overtakes ruminating. This has stuck with me.
I’ve heard that too, also when your mind is on higher “hierarchy of needs “ type situations when you have more stress and things to do your mind doesn’t have time to think exhaustively about your feelings, it’s too busy with survival and getting by
I was managing a designer clothing department at Nordstrom two years ago which had a lot of Gen Z employees. This particular department was special because it was an invite only department because of the specialized knowledge you needed to sell the clothing, and the potential for way higher commission earnings. One day, my only employee scheduled for the day (23 year old gen z guy) said he didn’t wanna be there and he needed a mental health day. I asked him, “what would you do if you go home right now?” And he said he would lay down and watch a movie. I told him that there is NO difference in being at work vs watching a movie, so he might as well stay at work and get paid and also that he was my only employee that day and we needed him. He reluctantly stayed. By the end of the day he came up to me and said he had his best sales day of his career (he sold over $9k in clothes which is about a $900 commission for one day of work) and he was so happy. I looked at him and said, “yeah bro, imagine if I let you go home and waste your whole day feeling bad about nothing.” And he just laughed and said yeah. Anyways, the point of this story is stuff like this happened EVERY WEEK, and I managed almost 30 people!! Gen Z was super hard to deal with (and I’m technically a Zillenial, born late 1995 so not quite a millennial and not quite Gen Z).
Its well known that Gen Z is very soft and weak minded. Mental illness is sky high among Gen Z especially if they lean politically liberal according to polls that have been taken.
Gen Z kids have also been coddled too much. For example when Trump won the presidency in 2016 some universities were offering emotional support to students. WTF! I've heard of universities also doing this when certain speakers come on campus. Safe spaces. They treat these young adults like babies.
In all my years watching this platform this woman has said what i already know in my mind bad things make you see life real life how evil people can be how beautiful people can be and how tuff the human spirit can be and endure im a 70s child so im tuff as nails and always watch over my family even when my family doesn't know i am.
Old people always saw more things than younger people. And always watch for young. I still hold memories about my grandparents, how they helped our family during bad times. They saw even worser times. I miss them. They were great people. Everyone loved them so much.
Something that has been coming up a lot in my life lately is the idea that it is better to serve than be selfish. Serving others moves your attention off of yourself and gives you the chance to become happy by making others happy.
I agree and I think this is an important realization that would help a lot of people. Many are obsessed with figuring out how to improve themselves so much that they never have any problems or ever feel bad. Self actualization is like a religion at this point, but fundamentally it is corrupt-- focusing on yourself so much will lead to anxiety around how you are perceived, if you're good enough, etc. We have to get outside of ourselves and ask, what can I do for others? And whatever the answer to that question is will bring you more purpose and fulfillment than anything you can do for yourself.
@@angelzarate7884 you are ultimately responsible for your own well-being, and serving someone at your own expense is not healthy. you are totally allowed to set boundaries to protect yourself from people who would manipulate you.
and as social creatures that is inherently good for us, being on AA showed that to me, as im a person who truly enjoy's my solitude time when im helping people around me.
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
I had a wonderful therapist who said, " I don't care about your feelings." She meant that feelings are misleading. It's our thoughts that matter. How we think about a situation will affect our feelings. She had a mantra she would repeat regarding thoughts- "Is it helpful and is it true." Most often the answer was no.
I am a millennial. I grew up poor, my parents had a horrible abusive marriage. My dad remarried a crackhead that mentally abused me. My mom struggled with alcohol. I struggled with alcohol & drugs my teenage years. I always felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I moved out of state and made some positive changes. Then, my mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was 23. My grandparents who helped raise me died of broken hearts not long after that. Life is hard. We rarely get through life without struggles and hardships. There have been some really dark moments in my life but I don’t let these moments define me. I don’t live my life looking through the lens of all the “trauma” I faced. I am almost 33 years old, I am in a healthy happy marriage. I do not struggle with a single “mental health issue”. I feel grateful for my life everyday. I am happy
That's how my life was. Traumatic childhood. Sexual abuse,foster homes, alcoholism. Went to college became a nurse. You can change your life. We all have choices.Im thankful everyday I'm alive.
I am a Kindergarten teacher (26 years) and I can vouch for the extreme change in children over the last 10 years. Joe’s guest is spot on in regards to all the “focusing on your emotions”… the programs focused on making sure children felt they were in a “safe space and to express feelings.” Feelings which my little friends did not even understand- horrible program. “Safe space” insinuates there is danger around you - focusing on creating fake negative feelings caused massive issues which did not even exist, prior to this “program.”
Do you have a large portion of minority children in your classes? They do tend to have more trauma in their lives? And more pedophilia is being exposed as of late.
Bingo 🎯 The safe spaces and talking about emotions is not a good thing. If you want to talk emotions why don't the parents try to get writing class to do a free journaling thing for like 10 minutes.
feminism has been an absolute disaster. people don't see the connection between letting women into power and the sudden thrust towards everything needing to be about safety and emotions. These are fine when they left to the private sphere of family where women ruled but now they have been promoted at a much larger level throughout society and our social institutions as more and more women enter into these spheres. Men need to assert some authority otherwise this will end badly for our society.
It's a big problem in the trades. We get these young kids and they are not following instructions properly, even after having them repeat what you want done. So later on when you ask them what happened and why didn't they follow the instructions they were given, they get offended and quiet. I have to stay on them in order to change them. They have to get used to being held responsible for their actions.
I’m a firm believer that isolation and technology contribute the most to anxiety. Seems to me when times were simpler (no phones, tablets etc.) equaled less stress. I could be wrong. Just my opinion.
It's neither the technology nor the isolation. It's the ongoing culture wars established by democrats to turn all of western civilization into a crime-ridden Venezuela via third world immigration. Generation Z is being raised to hate white people and their own country. They are messed up because no one should be hating their own culture.
I'm glad someone is speaking about this issue. Anxiety is a baseline emotion. The four base emotions are happy, sad, afraid, and angry. Anxiety is a nuanced version of afraid. Depression is a nuanced version of sad. An anxiety or depressive disorder is when it is pervasive without a logical trigger. Most of the time people are depressed and anxious for a reason. The over-use of these terms as disorders drives me wild. You're supposed to feel depressed after abandonment. You're supposed to feel anxious towards the unknown. Those aren't examples of disordered thinking.
1st world people so detached from nature and anything natural, to the point that human emotion is foreign to them, and hard to describe. Animals have anxiety because it keeps them alive, animals without anxiety get into situations that kill them, or when they are to afraid they miss out on situations that will develop them, like public speaking.
I dated a woman with severe anxiety disorder and she hated how comfortable people bring up anxiety in small situations. Slight emotional distress isn’t anxiety. And we naturalize feeling any type of negative emotion is bad. It is part oh human nature to feel things; in both spectrums.
You know there are criteria for diagnosing depression and they are not just feeling sad right?? right??? Or you are just expressing an opinion on a very spesific matter that you have no idea about?
@@ffcrazy Yes, I do know that. A mood disorder is classified as persistent low or high mood that lasts for over two weeks without any known cause. Most people are depressed and anxious because they are under extreme stress and do not realize or address it. That is not disordered thinking. That is the body using it's natural stress response (fight, flight, or freeze). In most cases, extreme moods balance over time after making lifestyle changes. With disordered thinking, no amount of lifestyle change can help without medical intervention. A common example is SSRI medication intervention with depressive disorders. A depressive brain makes serotonin, but does not hold onto it for very long. Someone with a true depressive disorder can exercise, eat a great diet, socialize, get sunlight, etc... but none of it will matter because all of the feel good chemicals get thrown out immediately. Taking an SSRI locks the escape door so that serotonin can linger long enough to have an effect. SSRIs do not create serotonin on their own and are only effective with a healthy lifestyle. That's a big reason why those medications do not work for many patients-- they are not making lifestyle adjustments to create enough serotonin in the first place.
I’m 34 now but I’ve had issues like this since I was younger. I spent much of my 20s intoxicated, but I weaned myself off and have been doing so much better.
Abigail Shreir is awesome. So glad to see someone calling out the mental health industry. I believe they've adopted the big pharma model of "treat forever, never cure" they've also driven the idea that everyone has trama and everyone needs therapy.
She’s also only seems to be talking about college students. That self selects for mostly girls, and upper class kids. I’m working class, my family is working class, our kids are much different than the kids that go to my kids school. They’re not allowed to go outside and hangout. They’re 13 and can’t go outside and hang out.
First and last time I went to therapy, it was a group therapy for adults struggling with ADHD. I went in thinking it was going to be about learning and came out realizing it was for people to talk about themselves and the therapist to offer condolences, exactly as stated in this interview. And now I realize I wouldn't have overcome so many challenges if I was offered an excuse earlier in life to get out of hard work.
Yep, that’s how rehab was for me. Group therapy was often hijacked by narcissistic females. The quiet ones who were the vets never talked even though you could tell they’ve seen some shit. I would give my two cents on things like Near Death Experience stories and float around ideas like taking ibogaine to quit drugs, but people would shut me up and give me the evil eye in favor of the girl that only wanted to talk about her friend group and how she was 30 and too old to have babies and how her daddy threatened to fly in on his helicopter to take her to a more expensive rehab facility that celebrities went to.
Group therapy is about interpersonal learning and attachment repair. If you find yourself hating it and being woefully independent, that’s likely your interpersonal strategy that both helps you and generates a lot of your problems
I understand. I like the phrase "moving forward with Dad". We talk about my kids' late father openly. Pictures around the house, his hat still on his hook in the hallway. His story lives on...
Great video and could listen to Abigail for hours as she talks sense. I do feel part of Ben Z's anxiety problem has been caused by over parenting and not letting your child fail. Failure is part of growth and builds up resilience and a parent can then support them in this. This is how we get better and learn and I feel very sorry for those who do not want to try anything due to the fear of failing.
I went to a therapist from late 2020 - late 2022.Probably round 20 sessions.I had become increasingly depressed and hopeless in life and was having constant suicidal thoughts.She really helped me as she gave me some strategies and plans for dealing with my depression and anxiety and helped my structure my life better.It's the best decision I ever made but most of what she told me was basic common sense and good old fashioned advice, not some wonder cure.I think that is generally what good therapy can be just helping the person help themselves to live a better life.
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijthere are a lot of reasons for this. We have more broken families that don’t talk anymore, often families members live far apart sometimes even on different continents, often older relatives also can’t understand the more „modern“ problems of younger people (talking about generational conflicts) and so on. I don’t think that a going back to what is was is going to be easy bc the world is just drastically different. And maybe „common sense therapists“ are the solution for that.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and because of it I have grown tremendously. I have Bipolar II disorder, high-functioning autism, and ADD, and I will probably be in it most, if not all, of my life. I’d have to disagree that it is common sense, not even disagree. It's more of a fact. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. If you look at our parent's generation (Gen X and above), you’ll see none of this is common sense. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or are blind to the fact that they are repeating their childhood trauma. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. People spend their lives studying this, and there is a reason they are called professionals.
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijI don't go to therapy, but the obvious reason why family isn't good for this is because of conflict of interests. Normal people also haven't been trained like therapists. It's effectively a crap shoot for advice. Family members also have emotions and egos that can be hurt
Therapist here. Good therapists want clients to feel better, but they want them to utilize their own coping skills and support networks rather than build emotional dependence on a therapist. I regularly ask kids in my office questions like “how will we know when treatment is successful?” If the answer is “when my anxiety and depression goes down to zero” then we have a whole other topic to discuss on the wisdom of emotions- excitement and sadness included- and building resilience in the face of stressors.
There are good therapists and approaches out there that focus on resilience. Unfortunately like many fields, we also have our fair share of malpractice and bad therapists working in the field. It’s so hard to find the good ones because people don’t want to be trying different therapists until one clicks for them. As a therapist, the first conversation with a client should touch the topic of “ok this is not a service for the rest of your life, what do we need to do to get you to graduate these services and no longer need me”
Then stop providing "therapy". If you're a social worker or masters level therapist, you do more harm than good while not keeping abreast of clinical literature. Social workers have the lowest iqs of any college major. Self serving justice warrior.
What they don’t understand is people with anxiety like me who struggle every day to get up and actually wanna do something with our lives…. Every day, I fear that I won’t live up to expectations of people around me. I am a big people pleaser to my lack of an emotional relationship with my parents, and being told by them that I would never get into the college of my dreams. Which I didn’t and kept having to go to different colleges, and switching majors until I decided on what I’ve always wanted to do since I was little. But now because of my bad track record with school, and my GPAs, I’m not able to get into the program that I wanted to, even though I was doing so much better grade wise because I was finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do. But now married at 24, I feel like even if I do get my degree/license, I still won’t make enough money to support my husband and our future kids….While also trying to work to be able to pay some of our bills, and run a cat rescue on the side…
“Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child” is a quote I heard recently that has really got me thinking lately. So many parents do everything in their power to set their kids up for success that the kids don’t understand how to create that success for themselves.
@@HabitualJoker I studied Ancient Greek history and the society. This is what the issue of “good times make weak men” come in. Philosophy was originally designed to address this issue and how to catch conartists when you don’t know the subject area
I was raised by my father almost exclusively after the age of 13. A lot of people I look at them pussies quite frankly. They're afraid to ever say anything that might be considered even slightly controversial. They just practice group think.
I was a severely depressed and anxious teenager due to a horribly toxic abusive home life. I went to talk therapy numerous times throughout these years and EACH TIME, with EACH NEW THERAPIST, I became more depressed and anxious because all we would talk about throughout the therapy session was my issues, my home life, the past, the pain, the depression, the anxiety, why why why, how I'm feeling, etc. So my PERSONAL experience is that talk therapy makes things worse. Its also why marriage counseling is known as the kiss of death for every relationship. Sucks the life out of everyone.
Therapy isn't always about reminiscing on negative thoughts and working through old trauma. Therapy for me has been a way to learn ways to break the cycle of those constant negative thoughts and emotions, and to have tools to navigate through life's challenges. I've had therapists tell me they weren't there just to be someone to vent to and those were the best therapists I have worked with.
The people in these comments tell on themselves right away. They’re anti therapy. One of the above comments said it best, “we didn’t have therapy, we had confession.” Most people still have the warped idea that religion is the only way to rid yourself of negative emotions, and that lack of religion is the cause of negative emotion. If you got Abigail Shrier to sit down with a few glasses of wine, she’d say the exact same junk.
This is important. Therapists should build relationships with their clients. Then they can break down walls and preconceptions. They can call folks on their shit and teach them new templates on how to approach life. They can grow the childish folks into healed adults. Over a quarter of therapists aren’t good therapists.
Gen Z's fear of failure is a response to a society that increasingly does not allow for failure. We live in a super-optimized culture where every second has to be productive or else you're falling behind. Screwing up at a single choice in your life even as a kid could mean a severe change in the trajectory of your life. Going to jail once could prevent your admission into college; getting fired could leave you completely homeless; choosing the wrong major could leave you in thousands of dollars in debt with very little to show for it. Our society is extremely competitive and increasingly, a huge number of people are competing for a dwindling supply. Back in the day it was easy to fail because there were more systems of support to fall back on and plenty of options for meaningful employment with possibilities of promotion. Those same opportunities are much more rare these days, and kids know this, so they have to play their cards extremely close to their chest and never, ever, make a mistake.
Can you give some examples of the support systems that don't exist today that previous generations had, or employment opportunities that don't exist anymore?
Society does not not provide the opportunities for success either. You can do everything right and proper, and it's still not enough. I don't think there's anything wrong with the kids. They are just reflecting the state of society at large, and it is society that is ill.
@@shrunkensimonagreed. I think it’s a case of garbage in, garbage out. Society is sick (dying, really), the people entering it are fully aware and it doesn’t sit well with them. No wonder they’re anxious!
I learned a lot from my therapist 15 years ago, but I stopped because I ended up experiencing panic attacks for the first time in my life. I realized that I do not need to relive my bad experiences or talk about them with anyone. I never felt the need. I’m good!
When a toddler falls down and no one sees they don’t have any reaction. When everyone is looking and starts comforting the toddler they immediately loose it.
Because the toddler has no other choice but to self-sooth. You might say that's "toughening them up" but the truth is it leads to a self loathing adult that believe they're not worthy of love and comfort, making loving relationships very difficult, leading to a perveying feeling of loneliness and sadness.
@@jamesburke9865 Or the toddler looks for social cues on how to respond and if there is no knee jerk response by the parents or siblings, then they don't interpret it as a big deal and react accordingly. Like if a parent giggles and doesn't rush over to help vs smothering the child with concern causes the toddler to then be concerned. First 7 years of a child's life is mostly download mode (Theta brainwave dominant) to form the personal identity that becomes solidified as the ego.
I’m 42 with a 22 yr old son and I finally have gotten him to realize that this terrible situation will be a distant memory in a short time. Every day is new and if you move forward every day you will learn to live with your issues.
Well, not dealing with situations, especially if they are traumatic is not healthy. You can bury it all you want, but it will follow you. Time isn't the only consideration in the equation.
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 Okay then how would you recommend dealing with it? My brother recently went behind my back and lied to others. Long story short, he has a history of racism. He became a democrat a couple years ago and became VERY anti racism, while still being a racist. His coping mechanism has been to accuse others of being racist. He and I had a bit of a falling out where I told him he needed to stop lying to other people saying that mutual friends had said things they never said; it doesn’t help him overcome the racist things he has said and done. He then turned around and started telling our mutual friends I called someone the n word… which is absolutely not true. I talked to him about it, he denied it. Then I proved I knew and he had a panic attack and said he had to talk to his therapist about it. We tried talking again weeks later and he refused to acknowledge our previous conversations. There’s only two options I have now. I can forgive him and move on, or I can cut him out of my life altogether. Take a guess what a therapist told me I should do lol
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Take it with a grain of salt, but in my experience, the problem with this kind of advice is that it sounds too cliche and too far outside the experiential capacity of kids to register with them. Kids don't live on the same timeline as adults, talking about how something won't affect them in the future is like telling them that they need to save for retirement, it doesn't matter to them because they don't live in the future yet. You have to speak to their current moment, because that's where they live, in the moment. Kids have to be motivated to do something right now, often times even pressured beyond their comfort levels. You have to be real, speak to their current situation and not some generalized "We all go through this and come out better at some indeterminate point in the future" kind of reassurance. Again, just my experience.
It's like telling your son to live with a broken arm instead of getting it looked at by a professional. Animals do that, live with their injuries and suffer. Some don't heal very well and they die early. Humans live long because we have doctors. We have doctors for issues including trauma. Move with the times, dude.
I spent damn near 30 years bottling my emotions. not into drugs, but i would always find something to erase how i feel. tried therapy a couple times. they really just annoy me after a while bc they all never understood that i am always going to feel this way. that dark stain is always going to be there. No matter what. but yet here i am still making it happen. shouts to yall for not giving up. love yall.
Do they have to understand you? My understanding of therapy is that they were supposed to help guide you out of that thing they diagnosed you for. Therapy is not a place for you to be understood or to seek inspirational wisdom
Dude I know exactly what you are talking about. The feeling that darkness is the fundamental core of your being. It would come up for me especially when high on marijuana or mushrooms. Not the feeling that I was filthy but that I WAS filth and darkness itself in my very being. It was washed away in baptism. That feeling is gone. Life is still hard but I have found a peace I could not have believed.
@chadpilled7913 thank you for sharing. I smoked herb for ½ my life. I can relate to how you describe it. I also was raised to "be a man", "shake it off and keep going", all that bullshit. I have a 8yr old son now and I protect his light/innocence bc nobody protected mine. It's strange dealing with generational trauma. but look at us. we're still here. love you brother. be safe.
She makes an excellent point- no one talks about the adaptive purpose of depression, everyone just wants to 'cure' it. Maybe you're supposed to be depressed for awhile, even a long while, to get you to transform into a different person.
For the most part, BUT, it isn't always that simple. I believe depression for sure has a purpose but sometimes it can be so heavy, so overwhelming, that a person loses will. I definitely don't think every case of depression should be so heavily medicated. That shit is poison.
Absolutely. I went through a deep depressive period a few years ago. I mean, every morning as I woke I was upset I hadn't perished during the night. Absolute despair, no hope. But I got though it and am so much better today. This taught me that I CAN get through something like this. And now if I start to feel that downward spiral this knowledge that I can pull through actually helps me elevate my mood and get back on track. The experiential knowledge that there is hope saves me from descending into complete hopelessness.
I would say in a lot of cases yes but I’ve firsthand have watched my sibling go through crippling depression for over a year they’ve had no will to do anything and it hasn’t improved in even the slightest. I don’t know what answer there could be for them other than medication at this point
It's difficult because by constantly fixating on the gravity of every decision you are constantly focused on yourself which creates anxiety while being focused on things outside of yourself reduces it. Basically sometimes it's ok to say suck it up over minor woes to prevent too much introspection.
Social Worker here. Something that gets forgotten is that distress isn’t the only measurement upon which therapy/counseling should be decided. Diagnoses are determined not just by symptoms but the impact of those symptoms on a person’s functioning. Bad memories and bad feelings are just that. Anxiety when passing your old middle school is not fun, but so what? Now if any of those bad memories or reactions significantly adversely affect your behavior or quality of life - for instance driving a mile out of your way on your daily commute to avoid passing your old school, or frequent nightmares, or panic attacks, or becoming physically violent with your spouse or child - then seeking professional help is something worth considering.
But what if the traumatic event isn't all that bad, and because people pushed the idea that it *is* when it wasn't, it created a horrifically false representation of a symptom that was no worse than breaking a toe? That's to say, what if someone was being convinced that their ant hill was indeed a mountain? THIS is the discussion being had. The latter seems to be on the rise.
@@AlexBizzar social media (as I assume you’re referring to by “people pushing the idea”) can’t just convince you into having a mental illness though. Now, life comparison as a result of social media can have an impact on your own perceived successes/failures which may yield a negative outcome. But I don’t think that the internet alone is gonna be the sole factor of someone experiencing severe, debilitating symptoms. Also take into the fact that in cases that severe, symptoms had likely been occurring since childhood, but obviously diagnosis and mental health awareness was significantly different than what it is now.
Trauma for a child is different than trauma for an adult. Things affect children’s differently, they aren’t talking about blood and gore trauma they are talking about emotional trauma.
Bro, I have genuine ptsd from my childhood and the first time I saw a war vet 3xperience ptsd my response was,"how tf are we diagnosed with the same thing?!"
I had CBT and it helped. It helps you to pay attention to unhelpful thoughts. Anxiety is your brain alerting you to threats that aren't there. It's on high alert. It tries to help you in unhelpful ways.
In the past year I lost one of my oldest and best friends to brain cancer at the age of 30. Two weeks after that my little brother died from a heart disorder and a month after that the new kitten my wife and I had that was 11 months old was diagnosed with FIP and died within a week, i also celebrated 3 years clean from heroin. This happened while I made the choice to go back to school at the age of 30 after dropping out when I was 16. All of this has made me feel more resilient and proud of myself than I ever have and I hope the younger generation learns the value of suffering and hardship and surviving it all. The quote that reminds me to push forward the most is by Marcus Aurelius who said " life puts no burden on a man that he is not fit by nature to bare."
I’m a older gen z. I believe that the biggest problem my generation has is not being able to do what you want. I think the most of us want a family but don’t have a good example of a close relationship. And feeling afraid of doing wrong or not feeling worthy. Therapy doesn’t always have an effect. You can’t therapy away every stimulus. Life becomes easier if you learn to prioritise and move on. PS I had a wonderful childhood and parent (happily married)am grateful for everything I have. I do well economically and socially but an acknowledge that this is fairly rare nowadays. I just wish that we could do better by the kids- the future of our world.
I don't think any generation has an example of a good relationship but they still had kids and a family. It's just a matter of passing the trauma down until one generation finally fixes it. Not saying that's what you should do btw, just that most generations didn't stop to think about those things. They just followed the animal instinct.
Confidence needs to be taught it changed my life and confidence can get you further than literally anything in life outside of that being born into rich. We do a bad job of teaching your generation confidence and giving you reassurance. I do my fair share and then some for sure. I work with your generation everyday and I watch these kids life change within moments of just being around my words. However I know for the average American this isn't a truth sadly. Just remember you can do anything and your generation is the one who's intelligent enough to change the world as we know it.
Dads are there to put kids in scenarios where they learn that life is hard and it sucks. More importantly dad is there to teach how to make through those scenarios.
I'm hopeful for my son's generation. He's 6.5 now and gave his first presentation in school in first grade on a specific ocean animal. He stood up there, brace as can be, and presented his animal in front of his classmates and their parents. Not one child backed down nor were they given the option to not present. It was wonderful to see!
High school teacher here. I've made a few observations. 1. The more internet/computer-centric a student's leisure time is, the more social problems they tend to have. (this could be a "chicken or the egg" type of scenario, but the fact remains...) 2. Students who engage in extracurricular clubs and sports tend to have less behavioral issues and tend to have better communication skills. 3. Those students with two parents who take active roles in their child's education tend to do better academically and socially.
I’ve said this for years and it ticks a lot of people off, usually it’s whiny cry babies who say words like “trauma” “triggered” and claim they have PTSD even though they’ve never been to war
Oof this podcast will ruffle feathers😂. I’m on the cusp of gen z and millennial. I’m 28 and consider myself more millennial in terms of attitude (I used to play in the grass and didn’t have access to a computer until I was 9). I’ve gone through genuine trauma which I won’t get into and I totally agree that therapy didn’t do much for me. I went through 12 therapists one or two of which was truly helpful and gave me some tools, but what helped the majority of my issues were solved with psychedelic therapy (or indigenous medicines if you will it’s really the same thing). These experiences taught me exactly how to move on from my trauma and all of it started with me. I’ve been slowly implementing these tools. Life isn’t always peachy but it’s massively improved in comparison to 2-5 years ago. I’m sharing this because one thing I do n’t agree with is the suck it up attitude. Joe pointed out and rightfully so, that he can’t do that with his girls and he shouldn’t. The only time a “suck it up” attitude worked for me was in physical recovery but in trauma recovery what helped was compassion, acceptance and release. Yes sometimes it’s necessary to put your feelings aside, but teaching a kid to “suck it up” will teach them to repress which is terrible for your mental and physical health..
Social media has destroyed an entire generation
It's wild....The internet is the greatest thing to happen to humanity and the worst at the same time
Pretty much
No, the algorithm that the Government controls has ruined the minds of the masses! People REFUSE to see the TRUTH and what’s really going on behind closed doors! The Government won’t tell you I’m Jesus Christ and how the 🕍 tortured my soul!! We live in a simulation! The 🕍 at the “top” of the pyramid aKA “food chain” are 🪳
Facts
#peace dopamine101
My daughter is giving a presentation in school this week. Half the class just said they weren't doing it. When I was in school (I'm 44 now) there wasn't even an option to not do it.
Wait…you can’t be serious…is that really an option now
Gen x had no option!❤💯we still don't!
That’s a good thing. Nobody should be forced to do something against their will. If you don’t work you don’t make no money but you have the choice. Shouldn’t force anyone to stand in front of everyone and present a project and speech or else they fail. Not right
@@bigzachfulthat’s exactly the problem… cringe reading your comment… my children would never
@@AFatOcelotprobably not but if enough kids just say no what do you do as a teacher?
One of my favorite quotes is from a Navy SEAL who said, "toughness is putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation until it is no longer uncomfortable. "
Try holding your finger over a match and let me know how that works out
Ok simp
@@Baby-Dont-Hurt-Me-007😂hahahaah
I’m a therapist and one of the first things I always recommend is exercise, eating healthier and getting OUT of your head and into the world. Any good therapist should know this stuff.
Also a therapist and yes I agree with you
Yep. Therapist here too. I always start with "natural mood-lifters" i.e. sunshine, exercise, positive social connections and positive words.
You guys rock! Movement and not ruminating on self will help a heck of a lot. Thanks Therapists. 😊
Not a therapist, but my experience with my kids is this is 100% true. And one of many reasons playing sports is so important.
But then they might actually get better and you won’t make money
She just single handedly expressed what I’ve been saying for years “regularly concentrating on your bad feelings will make you feel bad” simple as that
"Your focus determines your reality." - Qui Gon Jinn
Yup! I learned to partly overcome this for 10 years.
on the flip side to this, i think there's nothing wrong with concentrating on how you feel bad regularly as long as you redirect that energy to improvement or some sort of cautious optimism because you have to examine why you feel bad to overcome it. think its important to say this if someone reads this and decides to be like overly positive which is also mad annoying
@@beabadoobeefanq_q3701people who refuse to let themselves feel bad are like people who refuse to clean their home or take out the trash. When you ignore your problems, it feels like you’re having more fun and things are better, but that shit will pile up around you and start fuckin up your life.
I’ve gone through therapy and all this describes exactly how I feel about it NOW. For sure. Sure maybe it helped at first. But it’s NOT what works long term and correctly.
I’ve now evolved to “everything is all shit anyways so I have to start liking shit”
And it’s working for sure. I’ve become quite comfortable being uncomfortable and just expect it to be now so. That’s what I really needed to get over. Therapy does NOT address that.
What really helped me as a gen Zer was staying off social media, not comparing my self to others, and dipping my hand into everything I can. when I was 18 I was admitted to a psych ward because I was spending too much time thinking and moping about how much of a loser I felt like that I was becoming delusional hoping that my life would change somehow. When I started taking action and going back to school and pursuing a career my focus shifted from “why is my life like this?” to “how can I turn my life into this?”
Good move, social media is poison! Invest that time in something else that is actually good for your future and well being. Social Media will be the exact same BS ten years from now as it is today. Instagram for instance is just a marketing tool, more than half of what gets posted are fake. People as well, don't try too hard to make people happy, It is impossible. Been there and done that, learnt my lesson when it comes to people :)
Liar.
True. Thinking is a waste of time, give your self three options, weigh up the pros and cons, pick one and commit to the mfer.
Gen X here, and I want you to know that I see a lot of promise in your generation. You are the most like us, but we need to remind you that you are very resilient more than you realize. We had to fend for ourselves and it made us tougher because of it. I also see your generation as the one that brings the country back to God. Most of our problems are because secularism allows no room for mistakes and you learn a lot from failures. Faith gives you purpose to want to improve yourself while not worrying about others or comparing yourself to others. God loves us and never gives up on us and we are all redeemable. Please remember that. Hugs to you, you guys will accomplish a lot if you lead the nation back to its roots.
But could it also be due to microplastics and aluminum oxide and glyphosate.
What she says in the end here is the key. There is nothing wrong with feeling *all* emotions, including unpleasant or undesirable ones like anxiety or sadness, etc. All emotions are important and beneficial for different reasons. It's when you try to avoid or suppress these emotions when problems and disorders start to happen. For some reason we've come to believe that if you feel bad once in a while and aren't happy all the time then there is something wrong with you. And that couldn't be further from the truth. You can't have joy without sadness, just like there is no light without darkness. That is how it works. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
We can't come unless you give your name! What you say I utterly agree with though the key is how we "frame" this. It is the endless mental chatter that we identify with that feeds identification with the so-called negative emotions. In truth it is quite possible we have learnt to think of many of these as negative when they're actually just energy. The trick is watching thoughts and seeing they are NOT who we are. They are for the most part habitual conditioning.
But would love to watch your talk if you say who you are or send a link. Take care
As a Pastor, this is absolutely true, I have personally seen someone who was a complete shut in, massive anxiety, panic attacks overmedicated. Step away from that, start going outside bit by bit, expanding their world bit by bit, getting exercise. Spending time in prayer, running errands etc. To now being able to walk to their local church daily and interacting with people. They are now going to go back to school and are getting their life right! Praise God! Medication and therapy typically make things worse, sometimes its needed, but ultimately, ruminating on the problem makes it bigger. Most people just need goals to work towards, daily physical exercise and IRL social time. A lot of these kids today spend all day indoors thinking. Its not good for them.
No
We couldn’t afford therapy growing up. Instead we went to confession at church. When I was 15 years old (in the 80s) I was confessing to the Priest feeling like a horrible person. He leaned around the screen (which was a shock to me) and said, “You need to lighten up. You are not a bad kid. I’m not even going to make you do penance. You are free to go.” I was so shocked! I took his words to heart and now in my 50s still remind myself of that. Society at large (and of course parents) needs to reinforce to young people they are ok. It’s ok to make mistakes. To try and fail. Failure is learning in action. Failure is feedback. I wish I could give all Gen Z’s a big hug. Instead I volunteer at my Alma Mater to give talks to classes and Jen asked to do so and speak on resilience. As a mom of 3 adult sons I’m an expert. I bet you are too! Let’s be the village to support and encourage the younger generations-not mock them.
❤️ thanks for that. I’ve commented this on another post but I do feel like gen z is a product of their environment (chronic stress, fear, uncertainty, insecurity). I think it’s really hard for us to find community, support, generosity and a place where we feel safe. Instead, it feels like we are met with more judgment, fear and criticism. We are great kids but we are really struggling right now and need someone to believe in us as we are.
Fuck yes!!! Thank you for that. As a millennial who didn't have everything given to them I'm grateful as fuck for my parents and mentors. I may not have been given everything I ever wanted as a kid. However, I was given everything I ever needed.
Here, here!
It isn't okay to make mistakes or say the wrong things anymore, you will be canceled or arrested.
that’s true. and they’ve been cushioned from every sad, disappointing or bad emotion. When you aren’t able to experience that and learn from it as a young kid it hits you hard as a teen and adult.
The schools do this from the start. kids are supposed to socialize that way with each other but adults get way too involved and don’t let them figure it out.
“I went to therapy once and all she tried to do was make me hate my Dad” -Shane Gillis
I remember that! 😂
this is truer than people even know
Ngl, a lot of Shane’s issues appear, to me, to stem directly from his father.
Idk him though 🤷♂️
@@jay3898 what issues? Seems like the dude is doing pretty well in life.
I want and they just kept asking how does that make you feel to everything I said. While looking at the clock very obviously just waiting for the hour to be over so they can go home. 😂😂😂
Years ago, my aunt lost her husband to Alzheimer's. It was a slow and agonizing death. Towards the end she had to put curtains up in the living room because he would see his reflection in the glass sliding doors at night and either try to talk to "that man" or be so scared "he was after him". Years later, after I had been married for a while, I began to have a deeper understanding of how hard that had to have been, and the weight of that hit me so hard I cried (and I don't cry). I see her about once a year at Thanksgiving, so the next Thanksgiving I went up to her and said how much respect I had for her going through that - she stuck with him to the very end. Her response to me was simple. She said, "I come from a tough family, and that's just what we do." She's a child of the Greatest Generation - an actual Boomer. We have a lot to learn from previous generations, and I'm inspired and thankful to call her "family."
I miss my strong and wise grandma who just passed❤️ I learned so much from her which I hope to pass down to my future family someday. I genuinely believe it was a greater generation of stronger folks. We can deff learn something!
@@a1islamovic It *definitely* was "a greater generation of stronger folks." My dad grew up in the 1930s; he was an old man by the time I was born. When I think about how he raised me, and what he taught me, and compare it to my friends' parents, who were generally born in the late 50s or early 60s...I was very lucky.
The "greatest generation" was the WWI survivors. My parents were the "Silent Generation" and I'm an old boomer. I wouldn't say boomers were great. But they did figure out when relatively young what the "Establishment" was up to and did what they could to neutralize them.
The "greatest generation" because they supported mass murder that didn't need to happen and "supported the government" which now spies on us all steals our wealth and has murdered millions to profit the weapons companies and the banks.
See the brainwash there??
I am an elder mil. one foot in X - and my father told me life would be hard, sometimes you will loose and sometimes you will win. Not everyone will like you - like yourself and you will find your tribe. I thought he was a little tough on me - but now.. in life during this crazy time, I am so so grateful.
I used to have severe depression. Then I turned 28 years old and realized I had wasted over 10 years of my life dwelling on problems and negative things. I had been to therapists, AA meetings, and been on multiple prescriptions. No doctor ever asked me how much sleep I got or gave me any real actionable advice. They just let me talk. And talk. And talk. And my sadness never got better. Then one day I read a famous old saying, “A young man went to an old wise man and said, “Old man, I have 2 dogs who are fighting, which one will win?” The old man said, “The one that you feed.”” This saying taught me that whatever you give your attention to is what you will become. I do not believe therapy or prescription drugs were ever truly helpful for me. Creating goals for myself and getting involved in healthy things is what saved me.
That's "the tale of two wolves". Native American proverb.
wow I have the exact same experience with therapists. What helped you stick to your goals?
This is basically my exact experience if you change our AA with OA-although I struggled with drinking also… finding meditation and Jordan Peterson’s work also helped me immensely. Attaching myself to another person and other people who were aiming up was huge… having supportive friends and family and cutting out toxic folk (which was basically a byproduct of the work that became self evidently necessary). I am so grateful for this video to help us raise our kids with a little more “tough love” and they get this proverb regularly as my fiancé is Native American and therefore our kids ancestors told this story… continue to tell this story. Continue to live this story… keep feeding the good wolves, friends.
I’m glad you were able to come out of that. It can be really hard but I’m glad you found the things that helped you get perspective ❤️
Thank you for your comment,that helped alot.🙏❤️
The way people say they have PTSD so casually and commonly is insulting to people who truly suffer from real PTSD.
"trauma" 🤦
Real PTSD is fake now. The only real PTSD now comes from your barista getting your name wrong.
And to add to your point.. Anybody who actually has PTSD doesn't go around announcing it to the world. Virtue signaling is propaganda.
Lots of people have PTSD, but usually the undereducated think PTSD is only real when you’re having a full blown panic attack or some shell shock looking episode. PTSD is everywhere, nowadays it’s most likely C-PTSD. Are people over exaggerating it ? Probably, but it’s there
@@shadow13265 Saying it's there is a MOOT point. Nobody denies the reality of its existence. It's the fact that a label is being used for the self righteous gain.
I remember when I got back from the psych ward after an unalive attempt when I was younger. I had undiagnosed bipolar depression and was just starting treatment. My family asked me what they could do to help me, and I told them straight up, act like nothing is wrong. Don't treat me like I'm sick. Please, just treat me like everything is normal. If things around me feel normal, I feel better. If I'm having depressive thoughts, I'll talk to the therapist who helps me through them. I'll talk to my psychiatrist about changing up meds. But from my family, from my environment, I want stability and positivity.
If everyone around me is constantly asking me if everything is okay and do I feel good today? I'm going to be thinking about why everything is _not_ okay all the time. Treating me like I'm depressed made me more depressed. I needed support and love, but not coddling. A hug and a "You'll be okay" goes a long way.
I was the same as you but I won’t demonize parents/families who check up on their mentally ill family members🙌
I hated the “you’ll be ok” I wasn’t ok, that just made it seem like they didn’t really give a flip just wanted me to shut up.
She is undoubtedly one of the smartest, most common sense people I have ever heard explain depression & anxiety! This is terrific! Everyone should listen to this! Great job again Joe Rogan!
She's collecting royalties. If something real happened to her, you think she'd be all right? I don't see that in her.
Many forget that hormones are all messed up, too. I’m a nurse and so many young men have low testosterone. Low testosterone is associated with anxiety, fatigue, and low self esteem.
vaccines...
what are some reasons this generation has lower testosterone? Rogan had that one lady that claimed it was plastics seeping into our systems. Anything else common that might cause it?
@@hapaharley1706Could be a combination of factors.
They tried to medicate my hormones. I hit 25 and it just went away
@@hapaharley1706Its most likely parents not giving a fuck about their kids and sticking them in front of screens to distract them. The kids grow up complacent and without doing anything physical theyre not gonna be producing testosterone right. Its the parents not parenting. Its what it always has been.
I was widowed 3 years ago, with 2 teenage boys and 7 year old girl. It was very traumatic for all of us, brain aneurysm at home in the middle of conversation. I had therapists want to put my 15 year old son on ssri after having talked to him for a total of 5 minutes. Wrong. This really bad crazy thing happened and you witnessed it. You need to process this event and move forward not block it out with chemicals. So that’s what we did. He felt all things as they came and we talked about it together, still do. One of my kids tried to pull the “I’m special because this happened.” Wrong. You are not special. Bad shit happens every day, it sucks. But that’s not permission to be a drain on the world around you. You can’t control what happened, but you can control your response to it. We aren’t moving on, we’re moving forward. Me specifically knowing I’ve already had the worst day of my life, I can handle whatever comes. And so can they.
You are a very strong person
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your family is doing fine.
You sound like a great mother and I hope everything turns out or continues turning out alright.
I can only imagine how tough this must’ve been for you and your children. And you also sound like a very wise strong and capable woman! Your kids will absolutely thank you when they’re old enough to understand how much you’ve endured to keep them safe and allow them to grow into the same capable strong adults that you are.
Parents MUST be strong. Who else is there?? Parents are no more prepared for adulthood, let alone raising others to be adults, than anyone else. Let that sink in. Parents "step up to the plate." They wing it daily, pulling from reservoirs previously unknown to themselves, hoping those under their care (and oftentimes themselves too) mentally survive another couple days. @@Mannsy83
But not everybody can be like you.
I’m so grateful to hear this conversation. I went through a clinical depression some years ago over family stuff overwhelming me and generally stuffing my feelings. Dr gave me antidepressants and anxiety meds. I didn’t like feeling “flat” emotionally and basically quit after 4 days. I was determined to get out of my own head and started going to the gym and walking and journaling. Prayer saved my life. I am a baby boomer. Raised my kids to push through. They are doing great. I’m so grateful I did it. I agree that family connections are very important. We have strong connections with our past and know victories our ancestors have been through
I finally went to a therapist for a few months to address anxiety that I’ve had for 20-25 years (since childhood) and she helped me train my mind rather than give me meds. I think I saw her for 6 months and she was happy that I didn’t need her anymore. It was hard work but I never had that toolkit before. I think these kids need a toolkit rather than coddling .
May I ask what kind of tools worked for you?
@@SciHunter1337that’s a great question
That's great. I manage a healthcare centre & I see way too many ppl coming to see Drs & therapist with anxiety & they just get medicated to the hilt & after a while they end up with a addiction.
Good for you! Most people don't realize the point of going to therapy is to get to the point where you no longer need therapy.
Please..im interested to know what worked for you as well..i am not currently in the right place (financially) to be able to afford therapy..i know everyone is different but any tips would be hugely appreciated
Gen Z here, my husband passed away when I was 8 months pregnant. Obviously, it was awful and devastating but something curious also happened. My anxiety, I'd been plagued with since I was 9yo vanished. A social worker came to talk with me in the hospital and said, "This is going to be a trauma for you..." and I cut her off "ma'am I dont think this is a trauma, its simply just a tradegy"
We are so insulated from death, in modern society, and while it's a horrible experience to endure loss, it does ground you. None of the little things bother you after enduring something so earthshattering.
this is true. I mean, the every day, earthshattering grief and constantly thinking in the past dosent help. Yet life goes on
I felt the same way when my mom died young. Since then I agree the little stuff became easy to handle
Parents do need to say “ Move on “
I’m Gen x , I grew up in good times. I do not envy Gen z , especially with social media , the economy , crazy politics, lack
Of
Community , etc etc
But they will need to figure it out - and they will ❤
Good for you standing up to these "trauma" experts.
Zoomers already out here having kids. wtf
Throughout my life, I've seen about 4 therapists. I think it's important to understand that with therapy, the first therapist you come across might not be a good fit for you. A good indication for me was that everything they were telling me made me feel like I already knew, like I could guess where they were going to take things because the questions were extremely basic and almost "boring" in a sense. There was "no breakthrough". Usually by the second visit, I knew if it was gonna work or not.
One therapist wouldn't listen at all and just asked a bunch of text-book questions and would just write and write, but she was young and "new" to it I guess, idk.
Another therapist, tried hypnotizing me by the second visit, and I was like, "NOPE!".
It took me 4 therapists and at 28 years old, I found that a child therapist was the answer and gave me an enormous amount of help. I don't know if the fact that my trauma stemmed from childhood made the difference cause her approach was like nothing I ever experienced. We meditated, listened to music, drew maps and formulated timelines of events, journaling was also a thing and so on...and it was incredible. It saved my life. I went for 8 sessions and that was the last time I went to therapy.
Also, it's important to understand that even though therapy and psychiatry go hand in hand and they work together, you don't need a psychiatrist to get well.
One thing I realized is that therapy was one thing and psychiatry was another. I had to learn that on my own because that was never explained to me. It was always, you go to therapy, then you visit with the psychiatrist and then if therapy was "over" you'd then comtinue on with the psychiatrist. More than that, if you started on a certain dosage, they would start increasing it little by little because it's a chemical that your body gets "used" to, so they say and they have to continue raising the dosage. So I learned to understand that as well and because I saw what medication did to my mom, I vowed never to use it.
So I did my therapy with no medication and I always voiced that to my therapists. Some would say, "well, we'll try and see..." meaning they would try to convince me of it later again and so I wouldn't go back. And that child therapist I saw simply said to me, "okay, I respect that. And we can certaintly do that." I was suffering from conversion disorder and agorophobia at the time and I never needed medicine.
My conversion disorder ceased. I've never had another episode and I just turned 41. I sometimes still feel a little agorophobic in certain places, but very seldom. A low stress lifestyle, working remotely, good diet, positive social media (podcasts on spirituality like Buddhism, Ekart Tolle, BK Shivani, Affirmation Guided Meditations, how to financially stabilize myself, etc) have changed my life.
So I'm an advocate for therapy 100% but you gotta understand that you have the ability to say no to the things that are not serving you. And you most certaintly got to want to get better.
Of course, every situation is unique and the way I went about things is not a cure-all for everybody, some people do really need medication, but the point is that just because you go to therapy doesn't mean, they control all aspects.
You have to ask questions too, and voice your concerns about your health as well. You have to make it into a conversation, and formulate an understanding of what it is you're looking to accomplish and understand the process of what it'a going to take for you and your therapist to accomplish it together.
So is therapy useless?
I’m 23, I’ve lost friends, family, hell I’ve even had to hold my friend in my arms and give him cpr to bring him back. It’s hard to say and do, but you gotta just think of everything as character building and a learning moment about yourself. Then you move on to the next part of life. Life always moves forward, you gotta make sure you’re moving with it❤
Nervousness has been replaced with anxiety, sadness with depression, bad memories with PTSD, concentration with hyper focus, quirky with autistic, particularity with OCD. Basically what has happened is all aspects with everyone's personalities suddenly evolved into mental health buzzwords pushed along by tiktok and aided by better help. I can have a change in mood or a reaction to something without needing to psycho analyze myself and that's something everybody needs to relearn.
Dude… That needs to be shouted from the house tops. Well said.
Everything and everyone is trauma, ADHD, etc etc.
But what if you actually have autism? These mfs who fake ruin it for people who actually have it, I've felt different from anyone ever since I was toddler, it's some innate thing in me, different from you gen x
Exactly bro I think it has to do w self diagnosis along w tik tok telling them to be comfortable with being mediocre
from psychoanalysis to psycho analysis!
Thanks I'll be here all week.
Read the _Tao Te Ching._
"Regarding muddy water: the more you try to stir the dirt out of it, the murkier it gets... leave it alone, and the dirt will settle out by itself."
Taoism is such a brilliant philosophy.
I like that. The Law of Reverse Effect
Even better read the bible, the word of God, not just of man.
2 Timothy 1:7: For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Psalm 55:22: Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Hebrews 13:6: So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Matthew 6:34: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
@bendover0421 absolutely! 🙏❤️. I also love Psalms 23:4 and Ephesians 5:8
So "don't work on your problems" - not good advice for anything.
I've suffered depression on and off since I was a teenager. I spent the majority of my early 20s with untreated depression and it led to me neglecting my health and even just general hygiene. to the point that I wouldn't even brush my hair for days on end and I gained a ton of weight. It wasn't until I got on an antidepressant that I was able to have the energy to pull myself out of that funk and make positive changes in my life like going to the gym and focusing on taking better care of myself
Same here. Therapy and antidepressants got me out of the hole
Underrated tip: doing errands is great for your mental health. I love errands on a Saturday.
As a nineties kid, we went to school full time and had jobs at 13-14 years old so we could get a car, save money for the future or help our parents out. But we were outside more in nature, had real human connections and contacts and more importantly we didn’t have social media. Social media, in my humble opinion, is a major factor for these issues.
social media is so useful, but insanely dangerous considering mental health effects in my opinion
That's true but people work full time and can't afford basic necessities. Kids see the "grown ups" struggle because the economy is bad and wages are low. All I'm saying is it's different now, in tje 90s we could get a bs job and afford to buy and do stuff. These kids today? They get called lazy because they won't work a sht job for sht pay smh
It can be but also it's hard to explain to the older generations how them having to work and stuff at 13-14 years old is actually a major route cause of a lot of their trauma that they don't understand. That was so wrong that you all had to do that even if the outcome is perceived as great because in reality you weren't allowed to be a kid you were stripped of it early.
@@christjosh8853I worked at 13 and I still had a childhood. I only worked on the weekends 5 hours a day. I liked the idea earning money and owned at beater car when I hit 16 .
@@christjosh8853what?? We wanted to work and make money to buy vehicles and other stuff our parents couldn’t afford for us. Over I know in the 90’s at school tried get their driving permit at 15 so they had enough time under their belt to get their DL at 16. It was great. We taught to not be victims and take responsibility for our actions and also to be respectful. Can’t say the same for gen z.
I’m a child therapist with an LPC but my undergraduate degree is in psychology and A big part of what I do is parent training rather than talk therapy. Parents absolutely transfer huge amounts of anxiety, over protect, and they live their life through a screen.
I was a child therapist in the school system for a while. I left the field because I could not be part of the systemic psychological abuse of children, the "therapeutic education", the weekly manipulative "circle times", the teaching boys that they are inferior to girls, the teaching and preaching that "there is no such thing as truth and right and wrong", that gender is a social construct, that the white male patriarchy wrecked the planet and oppresses girls and women, the banning of activities that boys enjoy, encouraging girls to "be assertive" and boys to "cry more", to value emotions and feelings over all else,... etc, etc.
So You say parents over do it, yet at the same time you had to give us all the credentials you had to gather before you were allowed to professionally talk with children, don't you think needing a Masters & a PHD plus all these certifications just to be a therapist is part of the problem too? By the time ya'll are allowed to practice your completely brainwashed.
I will say, as a 40 year old, screens feel safer and parents have always been transferring their fears and anxiety onto their children! I'm consciously trying to not put my issues onto my kids. My daughter is definitely not affected by my issues in the slightest and I admire her "I can do anything" attitude. I do want her to know that she will be hurt at times, but that's life's way of telling her to reevaluate things
As if decades of Journalist Activism isn't a HUGE part of the problem. Please. I like TJRE, but not this drivel. People like her are a huge part of the problem. Maybe that explains Joe's long pause after she finally shuts her yap at the beginning of the video. Would have loved to know what he was really thinking.
@@fastinbulvis2223 You have no idea what you are talking about. The causes and best treatments for anxiety have been well understood for decades but swamped and covered over with hundreds of false leftist studies that fail independent replication, and a flood of expensive exacerbation programs that further generate the problem and make wealthy careers for everyone involved in them.
I have schizoaffective (combo of schizophrenia and bipolar) im 24 now and havent had an episode in 3 years due to sticking to treatment, the right meds, resilience and focusing on self care like journalling. If you want to get better sometimes falling on your face hard helps you realise like fck i need to do better and be better. My second psychosis 3 yrs ago came about because i stopped medication and thought i was healthy again. My ex ended things during my last psychosis and it hurt me so much because i realised i lost him and i lost myself in not treating my illness seriously and accpting that. It was a growth oppurtunity i see now and a huge life lesson.
I have schizophrenia. My last episode was when Ukraine war started. I live in Russia. So it was stressful. I stopped my medication and I am still ok. As soon as I understand sometimes it torments you for years and then as mysteriously as it appeared it just as mysteriously disappears. I wish you never experience another episode.
This is a great clip. Feeling those things when they're not debilitating to your overall quality of life and don't pose a threat to your life (depressive unaliving thoughts, etc), are mega beneficial. Listening to this made me think back to all those moments of triumph which give me confidence today, and those memories of the journeys I went through to overcome some tough shit gives me good vibes.
I have a son with autism and a younger daughter. My daughter told me she had ADHD when she was 14. Self diagnosed lol. I knew she was fine. Just human. We had already gone through the steps of diagnosing my son with ADHD years before this, which took years. Literally. I entertained my daughter with a trip to a therapist thinking the therapist would tell her she was fine. I sat in a waiting room for 45 minutes and the therapist came to me and said she definitely had ADHD and they would hook her up with drugs right away (without talking to anyone but my daughter). Mind you, my son had MOUNTAINS of questionnaires that had to be filled out by any adult that had contact with him to be diagnosed with this just 6 years earlier. That's when I realized NO therapist is going to tell you that you're ok. That destroys their customer base. This is why every part of being human is now a "condition". They have made an industry out of feelings.
ADHD is really heritable btw so if your son has ADHD, that makes it considerably more likely his sister has it too
Therapists and psychologists can’t prescribe medication. Only psychiatrists can
@@Andrewoo99ADHD is not real. Describe to me a single shared trait between those with “ADHD”. Not shared behaviors. Not shared thought processes. A gene, a bio marker, a brain structure.
You can’t because no sure shared trait exists. ADHD is medicalization of a personality type. If you know anything about evolution by natural selection you can clearly see how advantageous the so-called “disorder” would have been in our evolutionary environment.
My mom has always been the only person to say I don't have ADHD in a sea of people telling me I do have ADHD. I feel like I wasted years believing I did and it made my focus worse instead of working to improve it. I had the perfect excuse to be lazy with my attention and speech. I'm working on it now and it's slow and a conscious effort but I believe it's working. Being deficient in crucial vitamins and minerals have contributed to it as well so I'm doing that in tandem. Maybe hard to pinpoint which is helping more, but I do feel it's both.
Oh you got that from your random facts in your cereal box@@Andrewoo99
Ive suffered with anxiety and depression most of my life. The best tip i can give is to find something you enjoy and are passionate about. For me it was hunting, fishing, and just being outdoors. Exercise is important to.
"Idle mind is a devil's playground" 👹
And push through the anxiety and depression. You can.
Add Jesus and God and you’re ready to Goooooo!!!!
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Wow fascinating, being active and having interests is a cure for depression and anxiety. Almost like people knew this all along
This is one of the best interviews for a long time. So much clarity to what they are saying. This should be played in all schools.
Agreed 100%.
I appreciate that Rogan argued with her when she was belittling bullying. My sister was bulled and over 20 years later she’s still affected (albeit subconsciously).
Millennial here. Been through the bottom of mental illness. I’m over it now and living an amazing life. #1 thing that helps me is waking up and getting tf out of bed early in the morning. Around 7am. Life changing for me.
Some excellent points were made. We have 2 girls in college, and the amount of depression and anxiety among this generation is shocking! Between social media, the weight of the world's issues, financial struggles and job insecurity it's easy to see why. Oh and don't forget social anxiety too.
Agree and changing from your pajamas
@@lilibear62 yes. Rates of depression etc are at an all time high. I think they are also higher in women. Social media is a huge factor.
True, but 5am is even better.
@@RicoWorldPeace yeah, I actually got up at 5 today. Alarm was for 6:30 but sunrise got me up. 7 I think is reasonable because that means you can kinda wind down around 9pm, chill out, read a book or whatever. 10pm you’re brushing teeth plugging in your phone. Sleep occurs from 11pm-7am. It’s just a little more reasonable since my wife is a little bit of an evening person and I get to spend more time with her. I used to do 3am wake ups because I’d hit the gym before my construction job. That means in bed asleep by 7pm. That was crazy.
I went on meds for depression and anxiety and my parents would tell me they’ve also experienced very similar symptoms sometime in life but they had to push through and had responsibilities so they just did what was needed to be done. However they did help me out and never questioned my symptoms. But they also did tell me to get out of the house more and not sit alone in my room because that would force me to think and think and getting anxious. I used to get angry at them thinking they don’t understand but now after years of being off the meds, I realise how good my parents’ advice was.
F anything s ever feeling suicidal or unable too function de 2 Depression? Take the meds if nothing else they stop the fall from continuing
@@cherobinson6371learn english
@@cherobinson6371 Aside from being barely legible, that's an odd response. Not everyone needs to be medicated, and doctors prescribe and push these things a majority of the time on people with less severe symptoms. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. I have felt suicidal and unable to function, and I take an anti-depressant. I haven't always, and won't forever. Everyone is different. Don't take offense simply because someone else got good advice, and didn't need the medication themselves.
@@cherobinson6371just don’t be soft
@@ds90seph Nobody is saying everybody needs to be medicated. Some do, that's a fact. Everybody is different and has different needs.
I found this video fascinating. I’m a military retiree who fights the idea that I have PTSD and my therapist insists on getting me to accept it. She’s willing to label it something else, but is set on me accepting my issues the military ‘gave me’. She tells me I have ‘trauma’ from car accidents and the lack of medical treatment I got at the ER on base. She doesn’t seem to try to encourage resilience but assigning labels and reasons. This video opened my eyes to stuff I was already feeling in ‘therapy’.
I was stationed at CENTCOM during a rough time and might have ‘issues’ with how we were treated, what we did or what we saw, but she is trying to get me to assign blame and almost use those things as excuses. A few of my fellow vets are in prison, one is on death row currently and the excuse is always PTSD. There’s such a bad connotation with that now that I’m ashamed to say I might have it.
Medical professionals told me for years my chronic pain from breaking my back had to give me depression. Anyone with as much physical injury and pain MUST be depressed. If I believed them, I would be the most depressed pos. People don’t teach resilience and sadly, or in my case,luckily, it’s in us or iit’s not.
Read the body keeps the score. It shows fMRIs and goes into studies that show the impacts of PTSD on the brain. Sorry to hear there is a negative connotation about it. Just because other people have it and use it as an excuse for their actions doesn’t mean those of us who take accountability and manage an illness should be punished for it. I have Bipolar II and have the same issues with negative connotations. I am open about it though, if they don’t want to educate themselves on it that’s not my problem.
If you have symptoms that one can categorize as "PTSD", but you personally get along fine with them, and in life in general, you dont have PTSD. Simple as that. Subjective suffering is necessary for (most) diagnoses, not the symptoms per se.
@@metalslegend I mean if you get a Dx by a professional, you have PTSD. People can be high functioning with any illness, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have it. An fMRI and how the body reacts to tramua would also disagree with “oh, you’re high functioning so you don’t have PTSD.”
This isn’t towards you, it’s the author lol, but, I don’t think people should talk on mental illness unless they worked with a medical professional, have read books/reseach and/or are in therapy. It’s what annoys me about this author to begin with. Tell me she knows nothing about trauma and therapy without telling me she knows nothing and we have her book lol.
@@PinkFlip23 Subjective suffering is necessary for most mental/psychiatric diagnoses, also for PTSD. The symptoms of PTSD typically go hand in hand with significant distress and impairments. Therefore, this aspect is not usually given much consideration. However, for other mental disorders, it makes sense to distinguish symptoms from a mental disorder. Mental disorder requires extensively subjective experienced impairment, because of the symptoms.
Therefore, the fMRI scan doesn't help too much here. If one actually has PTSD, with suffering, etc., I also assume that the activity and/or structure of the brain changes. However, this could also be the case by symptoms without significant suffering. I'm not familiar with the study situation on this in particular.
@@metalslegend I mean yes suffering is involved but people can appear fully functioning with a mental disorder. I have Bipolar II disorder. I have had episodes where I have very high functioning depression and others where it impacts my functioning. Hypomania in itself doesn’t cause clinical dysfunction. I looked into the DSM5 criteria. If you look at the DSM5 it does say criterion G suggests significant symptom related distress OR functional impairment(social, work, school.) so that part is required for a diagnosis. I had a friend with PTSD after her mom passed so I know from experience on what it looks like. It’s interesting how diagnosis’s are made because it can be hard for it to be 100% subjective. A lot of mental health professionals only use the DSM5 for an outline. The DSM5 is highly scrutinized in the field.
Are there therapists that suck, yes, but that’s every job. It’s up to the patient to do the work as well. You get out what you put into therapy. It takes work. This author has 0 credentials or hasn’t read a book on this subject. She probably hasn’t had real therapy or good therapy for herself. There’s a great video Dr. Ana(Dr. in clinical psychology) who has a video debunking what this author is saying in this book with research and goes on a whole hour about it. One point she talks about is that there’s tons of research that proves holding emotions in is bad for us both physically and mentally. It’s an interesting video.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and I’ve grown tremendously because of therapy. I have Bipolar II disorder and I will probably be therapy in most, if not all, of my life. I have a good job, eat SUPER healthy, go to the gym five days a week, and run errands. Guess what? I still struggle with depression from Bipolar disorder, current and past trauma, or debilitating anxiety. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. Our brains ruminate naturally. Exploring that in therapy and having them intervene helps stop rumination. They are actually trained to help with rumination. Therapy does the complete opposite of encouraging rumination. I kept ruminating on an event and even kept having nightmares. After two sessions, the rumination and nightmares came to a stop. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or won’t acknowledge they are repeating their childhood trauma because they are blind to it. I was, too, until therapy. Most people grow up in dysfunctional families and wouldn’t know a healthy relationship or healthy communication if it hit them in the face. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read.
There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense or something some people can push through, at least not healthily. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. Listen to Huberman, a neuroscientist who is educated on the subject. The people who don’t go are the ones who need it the most, I’ve noticed. The people in my life who won’t go to therapy have the most toxic behaviors, maladaptive coping skills, and don’t know what it takes to have a healthy relationship. This low-key set me off as it’s spewing nonsense and putting stigma back out there for therapy and is false information. She also acts like it’s the therapist's job to tell someone what to do, which is ethically wrong for therapists to practice for a good reason. No one can tell you what’s best for you. They ask you questions and guide you to come to your own conclusions and what’s best for you. If you want to read about resilience, read Supernormal. Yes, trauma is a part of life. It’s why therapists and the field of psychology exist to begin with, to help ease our suffering and cultivate better and healthier coping skills and relationships. Another good book, Body Keeps the Score, literally has brain scans that prove our brains can't just “get over” trauma to counteract that point made of just getting over it. When she gives that example of returning to school and calling it a bad memory, it isn’t that, it is a flashback look at an fMRI. The brain will show what it did as if the trauma were actively happening. We learn these things so we can better help ourselves and treat others. Just because we can say “get over it”, doesn’t mean we should. Just because we have our hands doesn’t mean we don’t use tools. Same goes for therapy, just because we have our brain doesn’t mean we can’t use tools to help ourselves make our lives better and easier. Just because we all have hands doesn’t mean some don’t get arthritis. Same with our brains. Just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t get mental illness as a result. The point is, just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t need treatment. It’s why we invent things like tools. As we keep learning about psychology and our brains the more we are learning the way we used to do things isn’t good and there are better ways to go about it instead of just ignoring our trauma and pushing things down. This whole conversation is essentially against using a tool that lessons our suffering, and progresses and educates us.
this interview has heavy old man yells at clouds vibes. Maybe gen Z is more anxious than previous generations because they are facing climate change disasters, struggling under late stage capitalism, and in the US are the second generation after Millennials to not do better than their parents. maybe if Joe got therapy hed recognize the size and responsibility of his platform and stop platforming pseudoscience idiots and far right thought leaders.
My grandmother used to always say “Stop complaining and do something about it”.
She was bipolar and raised 6 kids and was hospitalized a few times. She struggled with mental illness but also knew you had to live your life and not wallow in the pain! I also have mood/panic disorder and I lived a full life, career, marriage, children. I had a few episodes where I had to stop and get help, but came back from the setback and kept going!
Now your children can suffer from a lifelong mood disorder as well! Great job!
The Myth of Mental Illness is a great book, back then it was simple "struggle or die." Today western culture will provide all you need to self destruct (affirmation, medication, payment from the state etc.) since there's no drive to struggle.
Imagine if you had really bad tooth pain that was all awareness-consuming and were expected to not talk to anyone about it. How would you feel about that?
Your grandmother is very wise and agree with everything she said
The mind can play tricks on you. It is self destructive to think that you are not supposed to go through life without pain, hurdles, obstacles and difficulties. That's part of being a human being. So being told to get on with it is something that can sometimes be the answer you need to hear and not the thing you want to hear. The tooth pain is coming from a specific place and therefore you can do something about it. @@ckoperni
I have friends who do therapy and they literally have never gotten any less depressed or anxious, just more pretentious and willing to talk about thier problems 24/7. Thank you for articulating this!!!!
Get out and LIVE!! Why go to a screwed up individual to get advice??? Open your mind to God and Jesus. Go outside and hike, fish, hunt, ski, white water raft, etc! Lift weights and don’t take shit from ANYONE! So it and lose a bit of who you are each time. Fight em willingly knowing you might get hurt or worse with NO fear is AWESOME!!!! Believe me. I KNOW!!! This is the secret sauce. F most people. Get in my shit and find out!!!! Love friends and family and live with NO fear!!!
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
It doesn’t work! I dated a chick for years who was in therapy on and off for large portions of that time. Did she improve her coping mechanisms or conflict resolution skills… NOPE
I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts and a few comedians in particular I thought of while listening to this 😂
Therapy works, but just like with drugs, some people misuse them. These friends you are talking about would have used other methods to get attention if therapy isn't the popular thing right now. Therapy didn't make them insufferable, they are insufferable to begin with. Therapy has helped lots of people, especially people who suffers a from abuse, to learn tools to love themselves and skills to cope with life. If Jeffery Dahmer had gotten therapy and psychiatric medicine, he probably wouldn't eat people. He eats people to find a connection, dude doesn't know how to form a bond with people without eating them.
I'm a girl , i have two sisters. And my mom raised us telling us to suck it up. Told is that life will beat us way harder then the pain we feel now. It was great. I see how we grew up so much more resilient then people around us.
Yet you don't even know the difference between then and than. Maybe she didn't do such a good job after all?
Please share what you do for a living. How many people come to you for advice. What your adult relationships are like, etc.
We are a shake it off…rub dirt in it…problem solve it household. I also try to be aware and there for him when his anxiety is high. It’s really tough to find a balance sometimes. 😞
I was 10 years old when I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. For a kid of that era it was a relatively brief period of great traumatic stress that had a beginning, middle and an end in an otherwise "free range" childhood. As a retired therapist when I try to understand Gen-Z - I can't help but contrast their childhood to mine. This generation grew up with the "chronic traumatic stress" of a sort of "non-stop Cuban Missile Crisis" - with the supposed "adults in the room" constantly scaring the hell of them. For two+ decades the mantra has been - "there could be another terrorist attack at any time anywhere," "Orange Alert," "Red Alert," "if you see something - say something," "climate change is going to kill us all," "we only have five more years to save the planet or we're doomed," "covid will kill us all - or if not, the next pandemic will," and endless variations on the theme of imminent apocalypse. In other words this generation has grown up contending with a sort of chronic unresolvable fear response - in reaction to things "they are powerless to control" - all because of endless bat-shit crazy government propaganda operations aimed at controlling the minds of we adults. Perhaps these kids mental health has ended up as another form of - "collateral damage" - as the psychopaths in charge like to refer to it. We are watching these same kids now retreat into the fantasy world of "gender- ideology," and 'trigger warnings," and "canceling speakers they disagree with," and claiming that - "words can be violence." Maybe there is more to be unpacked in understanding "why" they can interpret "language" to be "violence." Maybe telling kids for two straight decades that the planet's going to be uninhabitable next year - "IS IN FACT "WORDS" - AS VIOLENCE." Just a thought.
This.
The other form of fear is school shootings. My kids are growing up with active shooter response drills during school. I can’t imagine what that does to your psyche.
My son has now added solar flares to the list of things to fear everyday
@@anybodyoutthere3208CME is a legitimate threat to electronics and the power grid, especially since we’re approaching the solar maximum, and scientists expect it to last longer than usual
Hi Gary, I was trying to find my thoughts on why I disagreed with this speaker and I think you summed it up. I do agree with some things she said, like wallowing in our pains and that those tough emotions becoming a catalyst for something great. But sometimes I get upset because gen z is looked at as losers/kids who need to get their shit together but it does feel like we are just a product of our environment. Not to mention, we grew up in the boom of electronics and social media that greatly impacted us. I want others to realize that we are great kids, we are just lacking our sense of security and safety. Sincerely Lily (born ‘98)
The best two things my therapist would say to me:
1. "My job is to give you the tools so you don't need me. We're trying to work me out of a job."
2. At the end of a session where she felt I was fine, she'd say, "Let's not book anything until you think you really need me." Sometimes that was weeks or months or years.
Therapy is great when you need it. But you should be building a skillset with the therapist's support that eventually makes them irrelevant.
EXACTLY!!
I’m young and happy. I’m not gay or bi or any of that crap. Sometimes I get down but I just keep moving forward.
This is so true for all generations, not just Gen Z! I'm feeling anxious so the doc 'gives you a pill'...
Gabor Mate mentioned in a video, that a study showed that during wartime depression goes away. There is a sense of purpose, helping others and survival that overtakes ruminating. This has stuck with me.
I can see how that would work. Strange how prosperity breeds its own set of problems.
Maybe before social media.
Love Gabor Mate, where did you see this?
Gabor Mate is phenomenal, his discussions about addiction, trauma, and child-rearing are life-changing.
I’ve heard that too, also when your mind is on higher “hierarchy of needs “ type situations when you have more stress and things to do your mind doesn’t have time to think exhaustively about your feelings, it’s too busy with survival and getting by
I was managing a designer clothing department at Nordstrom two years ago which had a lot of Gen Z employees. This particular department was special because it was an invite only department because of the specialized knowledge you needed to sell the clothing, and the potential for way higher commission earnings. One day, my only employee scheduled for the day (23 year old gen z guy) said he didn’t wanna be there and he needed a mental health day. I asked him, “what would you do if you go home right now?” And he said he would lay down and watch a movie. I told him that there is NO difference in being at work vs watching a movie, so he might as well stay at work and get paid and also that he was my only employee that day and we needed him. He reluctantly stayed. By the end of the day he came up to me and said he had his best sales day of his career (he sold over $9k in clothes which is about a $900 commission for one day of work) and he was so happy. I looked at him and said, “yeah bro, imagine if I let you go home and waste your whole day feeling bad about nothing.” And he just laughed and said yeah. Anyways, the point of this story is stuff like this happened EVERY WEEK, and I managed almost 30 people!! Gen Z was super hard to deal with (and I’m technically a Zillenial, born late 1995 so not quite a millennial and not quite Gen Z).
You’re a millennial buddy 97 is the first year and even that’s iffy
Its well known that Gen Z is very soft and weak minded. Mental illness is sky high among Gen Z especially if they lean politically liberal according to polls that have been taken.
Gen Z kids have also been coddled too much. For example when Trump won the presidency in 2016 some universities were offering emotional support to students. WTF! I've heard of universities also doing this when certain speakers come on campus. Safe spaces. They treat these young adults like babies.
@@elg2702I’m also born in 95 where I find myself stuck in between two generations
@@elg270296*
In all my years watching this platform this woman has said what i already know in my mind bad things make you see life real life how evil people can be how beautiful people can be and how tuff the human spirit can be and endure im a 70s child so im tuff as nails and always watch over my family even when my family doesn't know i am.
Old people always saw more things than younger people. And always watch for young. I still hold memories about my grandparents, how they helped our family during bad times. They saw even worser times. I miss them. They were great people. Everyone loved them so much.
I’m sharing this video with my 22 year old daughter because she definitely needs to hear this 😊
Something that has been coming up a lot in my life lately is the idea that it is better to serve than be selfish. Serving others moves your attention off of yourself and gives you the chance to become happy by making others happy.
I agree and I think this is an important realization that would help a lot of people. Many are obsessed with figuring out how to improve themselves so much that they never have any problems or ever feel bad. Self actualization is like a religion at this point, but fundamentally it is corrupt-- focusing on yourself so much will lead to anxiety around how you are perceived, if you're good enough, etc.
We have to get outside of ourselves and ask, what can I do for others? And whatever the answer to that question is will bring you more purpose and fulfillment than anything you can do for yourself.
Then people see u as weak and vulnerable, someone they have in their pocket at all times
@@angelzarate7884 you are ultimately responsible for your own well-being, and serving someone at your own expense is not healthy. you are totally allowed to set boundaries to protect yourself from people who would manipulate you.
This is exactly what Jordan Peterson said. The more you focus on yourself, the worse you'll be.
and as social creatures that is inherently good for us, being on AA showed that to me, as im a person who truly enjoy's my solitude time when im helping people around me.
It’s pretty amazing how many ppl in therapy feel the need to diagnose everyone around them.
You have anger issues bruh
And then 10 sessions in their conclusion is: “It is what it is” 😂
@@anjr6282 just observations! 😂
@@brophalope 😂😂
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Excellent conversation. I’m interested in reading her book.
I had a wonderful therapist who said, " I don't care about your feelings." She meant that feelings are misleading. It's our thoughts that matter. How we think about a situation will affect our feelings. She had a mantra she would repeat regarding thoughts- "Is it helpful and is it true." Most often the answer was no.
I am a millennial. I grew up poor, my parents had a horrible abusive marriage. My dad remarried a crackhead that mentally abused me. My mom struggled with alcohol. I struggled with alcohol & drugs my teenage years. I always felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I moved out of state and made some positive changes. Then, my mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was 23. My grandparents who helped raise me died of broken hearts not long after that.
Life is hard. We rarely get through life without struggles and hardships. There have been some really dark moments in my life but I don’t let these moments define me. I don’t live my life looking through the lens of all the “trauma” I faced.
I am almost 33 years old, I am in a healthy happy marriage. I do not struggle with a single “mental health issue”. I feel grateful for my life everyday. I am happy
Good for you. You’ve been through a lot and survived.
God bless you
Life moves on, thanks for your post
That's how my life was. Traumatic childhood. Sexual abuse,foster homes, alcoholism. Went to college became a nurse. You can change your life. We all have choices.Im thankful everyday I'm alive.
You're a CHAMP and God bless you 🙏
I am a Kindergarten teacher (26 years) and I can vouch for the extreme change in children over the last 10 years.
Joe’s guest is spot on in regards to all the “focusing on your emotions”… the programs focused on making sure children felt they were in a “safe space and to express feelings.” Feelings which my little friends did not even understand- horrible program.
“Safe space” insinuates there is danger around you - focusing on creating fake negative feelings caused massive issues which did not even exist, prior to this “program.”
Do you have a large portion of minority children in your classes? They do tend to have more trauma in their lives? And more pedophilia is being exposed as of late.
Same goes with inclusion programs. It presupposes that you aren't included.
Bingo 🎯 The safe spaces and talking about emotions is not a good thing. If you want to talk emotions why don't the parents try to get writing class to do a free journaling thing for like 10 minutes.
feminism has been an absolute disaster. people don't see the connection between letting women into power and the sudden thrust towards everything needing to be about safety and emotions. These are fine when they left to the private sphere of family where women ruled but now they have been promoted at a much larger level throughout society and our social institutions as more and more women enter into these spheres. Men need to assert some authority otherwise this will end badly for our society.
It's a big problem in the trades. We get these young kids and they are not following instructions properly, even after having them repeat what you want done. So later on when you ask them what happened and why didn't they follow the instructions they were given, they get offended and quiet. I have to stay on them in order to change them. They have to get used to being held responsible for their actions.
Anxiety on Christmas morning, that’s nervousness! Anxiety shuts your brain down. I think we need to be clear with our language.
I would say it’s more like Excitement.
I wish I had heard this from someone years ago when I needed to hear it the most. Though honestly I still need to hear it now.
I’m a firm believer that isolation and technology contribute the most to anxiety. Seems to me when times were simpler (no phones, tablets etc.) equaled less stress. I could be wrong. Just my opinion.
It absolutely contributes.
Not an opinion that's a fact.
Bingo! I said the same thing.
Try taking away their tablets and you'll see confusion/anger.
Too much attachment.
It's neither the technology nor the isolation. It's the ongoing culture wars established by democrats to turn all of western civilization into a crime-ridden Venezuela via third world immigration. Generation Z is being raised to hate white people and their own country. They are messed up because no one should be hating their own culture.
you are spitting straight up facts
I'm glad someone is speaking about this issue. Anxiety is a baseline emotion. The four base emotions are happy, sad, afraid, and angry. Anxiety is a nuanced version of afraid. Depression is a nuanced version of sad. An anxiety or depressive disorder is when it is pervasive without a logical trigger. Most of the time people are depressed and anxious for a reason. The over-use of these terms as disorders drives me wild. You're supposed to feel depressed after abandonment. You're supposed to feel anxious towards the unknown. Those aren't examples of disordered thinking.
1st world people so detached from nature and anything natural, to the point that human emotion is foreign to them, and hard to describe. Animals have anxiety because it keeps them alive, animals without anxiety get into situations that kill them, or when they are to afraid they miss out on situations that will develop them, like public speaking.
incredible insight, thank you!
I dated a woman with severe anxiety disorder and she hated how comfortable people bring up anxiety in small situations. Slight emotional distress isn’t anxiety. And we naturalize feeling any type of negative emotion is bad. It is part oh human nature to feel things; in both spectrums.
You know there are criteria for diagnosing depression and they are not just feeling sad right?? right??? Or you are just expressing an opinion on a very spesific matter that you have no idea about?
@@ffcrazy Yes, I do know that. A mood disorder is classified as persistent low or high mood that lasts for over two weeks without any known cause. Most people are depressed and anxious because they are under extreme stress and do not realize or address it. That is not disordered thinking. That is the body using it's natural stress response (fight, flight, or freeze). In most cases, extreme moods balance over time after making lifestyle changes. With disordered thinking, no amount of lifestyle change can help without medical intervention.
A common example is SSRI medication intervention with depressive disorders. A depressive brain makes serotonin, but does not hold onto it for very long. Someone with a true depressive disorder can exercise, eat a great diet, socialize, get sunlight, etc... but none of it will matter because all of the feel good chemicals get thrown out immediately. Taking an SSRI locks the escape door so that serotonin can linger long enough to have an effect. SSRIs do not create serotonin on their own and are only effective with a healthy lifestyle. That's a big reason why those medications do not work for many patients-- they are not making lifestyle adjustments to create enough serotonin in the first place.
Wow…gonna go to Spotify and listen to the whole episode.
I’m 34 now but I’ve had issues like this since I was younger. I spent much of my 20s intoxicated, but I weaned myself off and have been doing so much better.
Thanks for sharing this. This is crucial that we continue to spread this out there.
Abigail Shreir is awesome. So glad to see someone calling out the mental health industry. I believe they've adopted the big pharma model of "treat forever, never cure" they've also driven the idea that everyone has trama and everyone needs therapy.
100%
almost everyone does have trauma, it just affects everyone differently. not everyone needs therapy, but everyone does need healing and love.
Right, nobody ever gets cured of anything...
She’s also only seems to be talking about college students. That self selects for mostly girls, and upper class kids. I’m working class, my family is working class, our kids are much different than the kids that go to my kids school. They’re not allowed to go outside and hangout. They’re 13 and can’t go outside and hang out.
Absolutely right
First and last time I went to therapy, it was a group therapy for adults struggling with ADHD. I went in thinking it was going to be about learning and came out realizing it was for people to talk about themselves and the therapist to offer condolences, exactly as stated in this interview. And now I realize I wouldn't have overcome so many challenges if I was offered an excuse earlier in life to get out of hard work.
Yep, that’s how rehab was for me. Group therapy was often hijacked by narcissistic females. The quiet ones who were the vets never talked even though you could tell they’ve seen some shit.
I would give my two cents on things like Near Death Experience stories and float around ideas like taking ibogaine to quit drugs, but people would shut me up and give me the evil eye in favor of the girl that only wanted to talk about her friend group and how she was 30 and too old to have babies and how her daddy threatened to fly in on his helicopter to take her to a more expensive rehab facility that celebrities went to.
@@buttfaceloser "bro don't mention ibogaine, you're scaring the hoes away"
Group therapy is about interpersonal learning and attachment repair. If you find yourself hating it and being woefully independent, that’s likely your interpersonal strategy that both helps you and generates a lot of your problems
doesnt mean therapy in concept is bad, it means few people use it appropriately.....just like everything else humans do
Means the therapist sucks, need someone who tells the truth
I understand. I like the phrase "moving forward with Dad". We talk about my kids' late father openly. Pictures around the house, his hat still on his hook in the hallway. His story lives on...
Great video and could listen to Abigail for hours as she talks sense. I do feel part of Ben Z's anxiety problem has been caused by over parenting and not letting your child fail. Failure is part of growth and builds up resilience and a parent can then support them in this. This is how we get better and learn and I feel very sorry for those who do not want to try anything due to the fear of failing.
I went to a therapist from late 2020 - late 2022.Probably round 20 sessions.I had become increasingly depressed and hopeless in life and was having constant suicidal thoughts.She really helped me as she gave me some strategies and plans for dealing with my depression and anxiety and helped my structure my life better.It's the best decision I ever made but most of what she told me was basic common sense and good old fashioned advice, not some wonder cure.I think that is generally what good therapy can be just helping the person help themselves to live a better life.
But why aren't family elders giving that good traditional, common sense advice? This is what we've lost and is being replaced by therapy.
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijthere are a lot of reasons for this. We have more broken families that don’t talk anymore, often families members live far apart sometimes even on different continents, often older relatives also can’t understand the more „modern“ problems of younger people (talking about generational conflicts) and so on. I don’t think that a going back to what is was is going to be easy bc the world is just drastically different. And maybe „common sense therapists“ are the solution for that.
Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and because of it I have grown tremendously. I have Bipolar II disorder, high-functioning autism, and ADD, and I will probably be in it most, if not all, of my life. I’d have to disagree that it is common sense, not even disagree. It's more of a fact. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. If you look at our parent's generation (Gen X and above), you’ll see none of this is common sense. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or are blind to the fact that they are repeating their childhood trauma. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. People spend their lives studying this, and there is a reason they are called professionals.
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ijI don't go to therapy, but the obvious reason why family isn't good for this is because of conflict of interests. Normal people also haven't been trained like therapists. It's effectively a crap shoot for advice. Family members also have emotions and egos that can be hurt
Therapist here. Good therapists want clients to feel better, but they want them to utilize their own coping skills and support networks rather than build emotional dependence on a therapist. I regularly ask kids in my office questions like “how will we know when treatment is successful?” If the answer is “when my anxiety and depression goes down to zero” then we have a whole other topic to discuss on the wisdom of emotions- excitement and sadness included- and building resilience in the face of stressors.
Therapy is fake. They need Yahushua. Praise Yahweh.
Thank you for this your described it much better than I tried to do in this thread
How much do you charge? Lol
There are good therapists and approaches out there that focus on resilience. Unfortunately like many fields, we also have our fair share of malpractice and bad therapists working in the field. It’s so hard to find the good ones because people don’t want to be trying different therapists until one clicks for them. As a therapist, the first conversation with a client should touch the topic of “ok this is not a service for the rest of your life, what do we need to do to get you to graduate these services and no longer need me”
Then stop providing "therapy". If you're a social worker or masters level therapist, you do more harm than good while not keeping abreast of clinical literature. Social workers have the lowest iqs of any college major. Self serving justice warrior.
What they don’t understand is people with anxiety like me who struggle every day to get up and actually wanna do something with our lives…. Every day, I fear that I won’t live up to expectations of people around me. I am a big people pleaser to my lack of an emotional relationship with my parents, and being told by them that I would never get into the college of my dreams. Which I didn’t and kept having to go to different colleges, and switching majors until I decided on what I’ve always wanted to do since I was little. But now because of my bad track record with school, and my GPAs, I’m not able to get into the program that I wanted to, even though I was doing so much better grade wise because I was finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do. But now married at 24, I feel like even if I do get my degree/license, I still won’t make enough money to support my husband and our future kids….While also trying to work to be able to pay some of our bills, and run a cat rescue on the side…
Brilliant. As a 47y/o who was in therapy as a teen for WAY too long and as a parent of a teen, this info is hitting me as such truth.
Former teacher, I used to tell my students beware your parents love. They love you so much they will protect you from experience.
“Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child” is a quote I heard recently that has really got me thinking lately. So many parents do everything in their power to set their kids up for success that the kids don’t understand how to create that success for themselves.
@@HabitualJoker I studied Ancient Greek history and the society. This is what the issue of “good times make weak men” come in. Philosophy was originally designed to address this issue and how to catch conartists when you don’t know the subject area
@@Ol-T1864 yeah, I’m fully aware that I am half the man my father is and probably meant every person before him
that I am a descendant from.
@@HabitualJoker at least we know things are getting so bad we’ll either get tough or die. And we’ve always chosen get tough before this.
@@Ol-T1864 it usually takes a National tragedy or disaster to come together and get tougher. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that
"We are a generation raised by mothers" fight club
The proper quote is "We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need".
I was raised by my father almost exclusively after the age of 13. A lot of people I look at them pussies quite frankly. They're afraid to ever say anything that might be considered even slightly controversial. They just practice group think.
@@ShortsAndSpookiesthank you. I hate when people butcher quotes
earnestly quoting Fight Club is not the flex you think it is
@@reecord2Doesn’t mean it’s not true. Men need a father figure.
Beyond excellent.. Thank you
I was a severely depressed and anxious teenager due to a horribly toxic abusive home life. I went to talk therapy numerous times throughout these years and EACH TIME, with EACH NEW THERAPIST, I became more depressed and anxious because all we would talk about throughout the therapy session was my issues, my home life, the past, the pain, the depression, the anxiety, why why why, how I'm feeling, etc. So my PERSONAL experience is that talk therapy makes things worse. Its also why marriage counseling is known as the kiss of death for every relationship. Sucks the life out of everyone.
Therapy isn't always about reminiscing on negative thoughts and working through old trauma. Therapy for me has been a way to learn ways to break the cycle of those constant negative thoughts and emotions, and to have tools to navigate through life's challenges. I've had therapists tell me they weren't there just to be someone to vent to and those were the best therapists I have worked with.
The people in these comments tell on themselves right away. They’re anti therapy. One of the above comments said it best, “we didn’t have therapy, we had confession.” Most people still have the warped idea that religion is the only way to rid yourself of negative emotions, and that lack of religion is the cause of negative emotion. If you got Abigail Shrier to sit down with a few glasses of wine, she’d say the exact same junk.
I believe the topic is about the therapists that are prescription/ diagnosis happy.
This is important. Therapists should build relationships with their clients. Then they can break down walls and preconceptions. They can call folks on their shit and teach them new templates on how to approach life. They can grow the childish folks into healed adults.
Over a quarter of therapists aren’t good therapists.
I think the fact that you have had several therapists say it all
@@Kittyscraftcorner-ud6ij a bit toxic on your part, don’t you think?
Gen Z's fear of failure is a response to a society that increasingly does not allow for failure. We live in a super-optimized culture where every second has to be productive or else you're falling behind. Screwing up at a single choice in your life even as a kid could mean a severe change in the trajectory of your life. Going to jail once could prevent your admission into college; getting fired could leave you completely homeless; choosing the wrong major could leave you in thousands of dollars in debt with very little to show for it. Our society is extremely competitive and increasingly, a huge number of people are competing for a dwindling supply.
Back in the day it was easy to fail because there were more systems of support to fall back on and plenty of options for meaningful employment with possibilities of promotion. Those same opportunities are much more rare these days, and kids know this, so they have to play their cards extremely close to their chest and never, ever, make a mistake.
Can you give some examples of the support systems that don't exist today that previous generations had, or employment opportunities that don't exist anymore?
The way the US treats its workers and also the way the judicial system works, is a huge reason for everything you just said.
Society does not not provide the opportunities for success either. You can do everything right and proper, and it's still not enough.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the kids. They are just reflecting the state of society at large, and it is society that is ill.
@@aracnadei13church community and not changing residences every 3 years.
@@shrunkensimonagreed. I think it’s a case of garbage in, garbage out. Society is sick (dying, really), the people entering it are fully aware and it doesn’t sit well with them. No wonder they’re anxious!
I learned a lot from my therapist 15 years ago, but I stopped because I ended up experiencing panic attacks for the first time in my life. I realized that I do not need to relive my bad experiences or talk about them with anyone. I never felt the need. I’m good!
I stoped believing in therapists when one literally asked me what I wanted him to prescribe my child.
Therapists don’t prescribe medications.
When a toddler falls down and no one sees they don’t have any reaction. When everyone is looking and starts comforting the toddler they immediately loose it.
Damn thats interesting
Because the toddler has no other choice but to self-sooth. You might say that's "toughening them up" but the truth is it leads to a self loathing adult that believe they're not worthy of love and comfort, making loving relationships very difficult, leading to a perveying feeling of loneliness and sadness.
@@jamesburke9865 Or the toddler looks for social cues on how to respond and if there is no knee jerk response by the parents or siblings, then they don't interpret it as a big deal and react accordingly. Like if a parent giggles and doesn't rush over to help vs smothering the child with concern causes the toddler to then be concerned. First 7 years of a child's life is mostly download mode (Theta brainwave dominant) to form the personal identity that becomes solidified as the ego.
I’m 42 with a 22 yr old son and I finally have gotten him to realize that this terrible situation will be a distant memory in a short time. Every day is new and if you move forward every day you will learn to live with your issues.
Well, not dealing with situations, especially if they are traumatic is not healthy. You can bury it all you want, but it will follow you.
Time isn't the only consideration in the equation.
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 Okay then how would you recommend dealing with it?
My brother recently went behind my back and lied to others. Long story short, he has a history of racism. He became a democrat a couple years ago and became VERY anti racism, while still being a racist. His coping mechanism has been to accuse others of being racist. He and I had a bit of a falling out where I told him he needed to stop lying to other people saying that mutual friends had said things they never said; it doesn’t help him overcome the racist things he has said and done.
He then turned around and started telling our mutual friends I called someone the n word… which is absolutely not true. I talked to him about it, he denied it. Then I proved I knew and he had a panic attack and said he had to talk to his therapist about it. We tried talking again weeks later and he refused to acknowledge our previous conversations.
There’s only two options I have now. I can forgive him and move on, or I can cut him out of my life altogether.
Take a guess what a therapist told me I should do lol
Hello❤🎉 from Mother Father of all creation our creators are in the physical flesh please phone home today in this special lifetime to heal and live joy! Stop destruction intents
Take it with a grain of salt, but in my experience, the problem with this kind of advice is that it sounds too cliche and too far outside the experiential capacity of kids to register with them.
Kids don't live on the same timeline as adults, talking about how something won't affect them in the future is like telling them that they need to save for retirement, it doesn't matter to them because they don't live in the future yet. You have to speak to their current moment, because that's where they live, in the moment.
Kids have to be motivated to do something right now, often times even pressured beyond their comfort levels. You have to be real, speak to their current situation and not some generalized "We all go through this and come out better at some indeterminate point in the future" kind of reassurance. Again, just my experience.
It's like telling your son to live with a broken arm instead of getting it looked at by a professional. Animals do that, live with their injuries and suffer. Some don't heal very well and they die early. Humans live long because we have doctors. We have doctors for issues including trauma. Move with the times, dude.
This is such a powerful and important message! 👏
Love it! Great conversation 🎉
I spent damn near 30 years bottling my emotions. not into drugs, but i would always find something to erase how i feel. tried therapy a couple times. they really just annoy me after a while bc they all never understood that i am always going to feel this way. that dark stain is always going to be there. No matter what. but yet here i am still making it happen. shouts to yall for not giving up. love yall.
Yup, you work through it physically and mentally
Do they have to understand you? My understanding of therapy is that they were supposed to help guide you out of that thing they diagnosed you for. Therapy is not a place for you to be understood or to seek inspirational wisdom
You can make it whatever you want
Dude I know exactly what you are talking about. The feeling that darkness is the fundamental core of your being. It would come up for me especially when high on marijuana or mushrooms. Not the feeling that I was filthy but that I WAS filth and darkness itself in my very being.
It was washed away in baptism. That feeling is gone. Life is still hard but I have found a peace I could not have believed.
@chadpilled7913 thank you for sharing. I smoked herb for ½ my life. I can relate to how you describe it. I also was raised to "be a man", "shake it off and keep going", all that bullshit. I have a 8yr old son now and I protect his light/innocence bc nobody protected mine. It's strange dealing with generational trauma. but look at us. we're still here. love you brother. be safe.
She makes an excellent point- no one talks about the adaptive purpose of depression, everyone just wants to 'cure' it. Maybe you're supposed to be depressed for awhile, even a long while, to get you to transform into a different person.
Absolutely. Once you befriend your depression and anxiety you actually realize that it is pushing you to change for the better.
For the most part, BUT, it isn't always that simple. I believe depression for sure has a purpose but sometimes it can be so heavy, so overwhelming, that a person loses will. I definitely don't think every case of depression should be so heavily medicated. That shit is poison.
Remember, our adaptation isn’t necessarily for a “purpose” … it’s just a change an adaptation based on environment…
Absolutely. I went through a deep depressive period a few years ago. I mean, every morning as I woke I was upset I hadn't perished during the night. Absolute despair, no hope. But I got though it and am so much better today. This taught me that I CAN get through something like this. And now if I start to feel that downward spiral this knowledge that I can pull through actually helps me elevate my mood and get back on track. The experiential knowledge that there is hope saves me from descending into complete hopelessness.
I would say in a lot of cases yes but I’ve firsthand have watched my sibling go through crippling depression for over a year they’ve had no will to do anything and it hasn’t improved in even the slightest. I don’t know what answer there could be for them other than medication at this point
Best video ever!!! Sharing this with everyone I know
It's difficult because by constantly fixating on the gravity of every decision you are constantly focused on yourself which creates anxiety while being focused on things outside of yourself reduces it. Basically sometimes it's ok to say suck it up over minor woes to prevent too much introspection.
Social Worker here. Something that gets forgotten is that distress isn’t the only measurement upon which therapy/counseling should be decided. Diagnoses are determined not just by symptoms but the impact of those symptoms on a person’s functioning. Bad memories and bad feelings are just that. Anxiety when passing your old middle school is not fun, but so what?
Now if any of those bad memories or reactions significantly adversely affect your behavior or quality of life - for instance driving a mile out of your way on your daily commute to avoid passing your old school, or frequent nightmares, or panic attacks, or becoming physically violent with your spouse or child - then seeking professional help is something worth considering.
Exactly. ‘Anxiety helps your performance’ not if I don’t show up to the presentation
But what if the traumatic event isn't all that bad, and because people pushed the idea that it *is* when it wasn't, it created a horrifically false representation of a symptom that was no worse than breaking a toe? That's to say, what if someone was being convinced that their ant hill was indeed a mountain? THIS is the discussion being had. The latter seems to be on the rise.
@@AlexBizzar social media (as I assume you’re referring to by “people pushing the idea”) can’t just convince you into having a mental illness though. Now, life comparison as a result of social media can have an impact on your own perceived successes/failures which may yield a negative outcome. But I don’t think that the internet alone is gonna be the sole factor of someone experiencing severe, debilitating symptoms.
Also take into the fact that in cases that severe, symptoms had likely been occurring since childhood, but obviously diagnosis and mental health awareness was significantly different than what it is now.
Thank you.
I’ve worked in law enforcement for years… seen some pretty wild stuff… and it blows my mind hearing kids talk about “PTSD” as if it’s the common cold…
Trauma for a child is different than trauma for an adult. Things affect children’s differently, they aren’t talking about blood and gore trauma they are talking about emotional trauma.
Bro, I have genuine ptsd from my childhood and the first time I saw a war vet 3xperience ptsd my response was,"how tf are we diagnosed with the same thing?!"
oink
Suck it up, James.
same thing with autism, adhd, depression, ptsd, etc. anyone can be anything and everything nowadays!
I always like to take a bit of time out of my day to appreciate the good things no matter how small and I teach this habit to my kids.
I had CBT and it helped. It helps you to pay attention to unhelpful thoughts. Anxiety is your brain alerting you to threats that aren't there. It's on high alert. It tries to help you in unhelpful ways.
In the past year I lost one of my oldest and best friends to brain cancer at the age of 30. Two weeks after that my little brother died from a heart disorder and a month after that the new kitten my wife and I had that was 11 months old was diagnosed with FIP and died within a week, i also celebrated 3 years clean from heroin. This happened while I made the choice to go back to school at the age of 30 after dropping out when I was 16. All of this has made me feel more resilient and proud of myself than I ever have and I hope the younger generation learns the value of suffering and hardship and surviving it all. The quote that reminds me to push forward the most is by Marcus Aurelius who said " life puts no burden on a man that he is not fit by nature to bare."
I’m a older gen z. I believe that the biggest problem my generation has is not being able to do what you want. I think the most of us want a family but don’t have a good example of a close relationship. And feeling afraid of doing wrong or not feeling worthy.
Therapy doesn’t always have an effect. You can’t therapy away every stimulus. Life becomes easier if you learn to prioritise and move on.
PS I had a wonderful childhood and parent (happily married)am grateful for everything I have.
I do well economically and socially but an acknowledge that this is fairly rare nowadays.
I just wish that we could do better by the kids- the future of our world.
True but inflation doesn't help our generation 😂. Struggling to pay bills gen z is
@@luckybreak360 fr tho, we know what a good and bad relationship is we're not dumb. But we are walking into financial ruin head on hahah.
I don't think any generation has an example of a good relationship but they still had kids and a family. It's just a matter of passing the trauma down until one generation finally fixes it. Not saying that's what you should do btw, just that most generations didn't stop to think about those things. They just followed the animal instinct.
all you need to do as (gen z). Is ... study, study higher edu, work, get money, save money, use saved money for things you want.
Confidence needs to be taught it changed my life and confidence can get you further than literally anything in life outside of that being born into rich.
We do a bad job of teaching your generation confidence and giving you reassurance. I do my fair share and then some for sure. I work with your generation everyday and I watch these kids life change within moments of just being around my words. However I know for the average American this isn't a truth sadly. Just remember you can do anything and your generation is the one who's intelligent enough to change the world as we know it.
Dads are there to put kids in scenarios where they learn that life is hard and it sucks. More importantly dad is there to teach how to make through those scenarios.
I'm hopeful for my son's generation. He's 6.5 now and gave his first presentation in school in first grade on a specific ocean animal. He stood up there, brace as can be, and presented his animal in front of his classmates and their parents. Not one child backed down nor were they given the option to not present. It was wonderful to see!
High school teacher here. I've made a few observations.
1. The more internet/computer-centric a student's leisure time is, the more social problems they tend to have. (this could be a "chicken or the egg" type of scenario, but the fact remains...)
2. Students who engage in extracurricular clubs and sports tend to have less behavioral issues and tend to have better communication skills.
3. Those students with two parents who take active roles in their child's education tend to do better academically and socially.
Nice observations
What about students who sleep with the teachers?
You jealous because yours did not touch you?@@frankysalazar6857
@frankysalazar6857 They become lesbians.
"the incentive is for the therapist to treat the least sick, for the longest period of time" - SCARY
omg right.....and this explains why ive been refused help by so many i lost count
I’ve said this for years and it ticks a lot of people off, usually it’s whiny cry babies who say words like “trauma” “triggered” and claim they have PTSD even though they’ve never been to war
Scary and upsetting 😢
@@user-oj9ed2it9i schizoaffective?
Doesn't Joe advertise "BetterHelp" an online therapy? 😂
This was a really good interview!
Oof this podcast will ruffle feathers😂.
I’m on the cusp of gen z and millennial. I’m 28 and consider myself more millennial in terms of attitude (I used to play in the grass and didn’t have access to a computer until I was 9).
I’ve gone through genuine trauma which I won’t get into and I totally agree that therapy didn’t do much for me. I went through 12 therapists one or two of which was truly helpful and gave me some tools, but what helped the majority of my issues were solved with psychedelic therapy (or indigenous medicines if you will it’s really the same thing).
These experiences taught me exactly how to move on from my trauma and all of it started with me.
I’ve been slowly implementing these tools. Life isn’t always peachy but it’s massively improved in comparison to 2-5 years ago.
I’m sharing this because one thing I do n’t agree with is the suck it up attitude. Joe pointed out and rightfully so, that he can’t do that with his girls and he shouldn’t. The only time a “suck it up” attitude worked for me was in physical recovery but in trauma recovery what helped was compassion, acceptance and release.
Yes sometimes it’s necessary to put your feelings aside, but teaching a kid to “suck it up” will teach them to repress which is terrible for your mental and physical health..