Abigail Shrier is an independent journalist and author. Her latest book is "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up." www.abigailshrier.comwww.thetruthfairy.info
I grew up in an abusive household and my father took his own life in front of me when I was fifteen. I was messed up for a long time and was made to go to therapy and take medication. Once I became an adult I no longer wanted to take medicine or go to therapy. I simply started exercising on a regular basis, eating healthy and keeping my house clean and organized. That’s it. Doing those things completely changed my way of thinking. I’m a happy healthy adult. I do still get triggered from my past from time to time. But I just keep focusing on staying on track of my goals no matter how simple and it keeps me grounded.
I'm homeless and dealing with mental health didn't have the option for meds or housing so don't talk about something you no nothing about you spoiled brat
@@daniel-nw5iq are you serious? You clearly haven’t dealt with your own issues. John is sharing his life experience and what helped him, to help others in similar situations. You are a crappy human being. You are what’s wrong with society. John, thank you for sharing, my wife grew up in an abusive household and suicide was not far from the picture. Thank you so much for being so strong in your life and striving for a better way.
That is awesome news to hear. I am sincerely happy for you and thank you for sharing your experience because it gives me hope (along with many other people who read your comment, I’m sure). Keep on doing what you’re doing and I wish you all the best for the future!!
I have never listened to a podcast that focus’s on the main topic and was never boring or I wished they would change the topic. What a great podcast. So insightful for me as a parent.
As a kid who was bullied, my parents taught me resilience. One of the thjngs my mom would always say to me "the best revenge is living well". Sure, kids can grow up scarred by it, but only if they get affirmation in those feelings. I grew up very resilient because of my parents.
Feelings are part of our nature. You should learn to manage them. They’re therefore a reason. They’re one of the things that gives us morality. If you have right, suppress them that weakness.
@ The difference is between you choosing what conversations you want to participate in and someone with ability to shut down a third party. Free speech demands that so long as it is mere talk, be it ever so ugly, you don’t get to tell other people they can’t have the conversation.
When I hit my early teens my stepfather constantly pushed and tested my abilities both physically and mentally, most times it was moving about 1000 bricks from one end of the yard to the other. I realised in my late 20s he had installed in me a discipline where I was totally confident in myself and my ability to do anything in life, because he had made it painful for me at an early age. Now I'm 50 and I'm very thankful for the tough love he showed towards me , I don't think I would have been the strong, resilient person I'm today if it wasn't for him.
I’m so happy that I had a Father who was strong and held me accountable standards. He taught me to work for what I wanted and to keep getting back up no matter how many times I got knocked on my butt. I played sports and worked. School was fun and the times were very different. We didn’t even watch much tv. We played in all types of weather and cold. I feel bad for kids now.
My daughter started having therapy and other agencies giving her support including taking her out of classes from age 11 when her brother died. After a while I started to feel like it was making things worse. She was constantly getting dragged back into the pain instead of figuring out how to move forward. Turns out they were calling her they and a different name without me knowing too. She would feel panicked when she didn't have someone available to talk to all the time. Now she's 17 and has taken a step back but still sees a couple of people because her mental health got scarily bad, but she now seems to have got certain benefits from some of her therapies, like CBT and psychotherapy but a lot of the "support" did exactly what Abigail said and what I said at the time, it kept her in it. Kept the focus on the bad.
I was just like the kids she described during my teen years. I was put on prozac and abilify at age 9, diagnosed bipolar at 15, and put on a more elaborate med cocktail that I was expected to take for life. I'm an adult now, been off all meds for close to three years now and no longer identify as mentally ill. I recognize that I was before, but I don't feel like I need to see it as a permanent condition. I think my parents put me in psychiatry and therapy because, like she said towards the beginning of the interview, gen x felt like that was helpful for them and what they needed. I think it did more harm than good for me, especially on a physical level. I was having signs of kidney problems at 19 and at risk of multiple organ failure, diabetes, and brain damage if I stayed on meds for life as my psychiatrist had planned. Tapering off my meds and proving to the world that I can be mentally stable without chemical interferrance was a HUGE catalyst to my confidence and self-autonomy. When I have kids, I'm gonna try to try my best to be the person they can go to for support and help and avoid professional mental health intervention as much as possible.
As a Soldier and a truthseeker, I feel so validated (ironically, hahaha) to hear someone explain that the way society talks about 'Soldiers and PTSD' is hyper inflated. I've been in the Army nearly 10 years and I've known plenty of Soldiers with trauma from things civilians go through (abusive relationships, death of loved ones, etc), and few (if any) who had trauma from war. I really agree with her that war related PTSD is not that common
To their PETS??! That is fucked up. Animals DON'T need anxiety medication. They just need food, affection and a home; if they have all that and no cruelty they won't be anxious.
Thank you for speaking out about therapy. Years ago there was no therapist in my high school or junior high school, and we were fairly fine. Now kids are more depressed than ever, therapy keeps becoming more prevalent, and the depression keeps rising. This might be an unpopular opinion, but the therapy session, ever since Freud , has been nothing more than an inverse of the confessional. What we need is not more therapy; what we need is God.
@ about 25 minutes into the interview the discussion reminds me of something that I saw someone say to somebody else online... "Stop trying to infect me with your fears!" Everything today is fear-based, politics, media, just about every form of sales and marketing especially in the medical fields and pharmaceutical fields...etc. Just a mention, nothing else. Love the show Joe!
“I can’t drive past my old middles school because of the bullying I have PTSD” “They don’t have PTSD” 😭 love that more people need to be frank about this
My mom had a saying/joke she'd say sometimes when we'd talk about someone playing the victim or making a big deal out of nothing. (In a Shakespearian voice, or Scarlet Pimpernel) _"OH, How I suffer, _*_when I think of how I suffer!"_* which is just a calling out of rumination.
I got thrown into therapy at 13 for self harm and “depression”, which now I don’t think was depression but I was just a bummed teen that was influenced by social media. Therapy didn’t fix anything, I just got sympathy. I didn’t grow up in a stable household my mom has anxiety and pretty sure an eating disorder too, she hid food from me and told me to loose weight constantly when I was a healthy weight, she constantly had something bad to say about my appearance. My dad was sometimes physically abusive. At 17 I went back to therapy because I had extreme suicidal thoughts and social anxiety, they diagnosed me with avoidant personality disorder. They threw antidepressants at me, and did not tell me to exercise daily and fix my habits. at that point I was overweight because I used food as coping, and what I truly needed was to fix my diet. Anyways at 18 I realised anti depressants are a scam and I lost weight, fixed my habits. and man that helped me a ton, I still struggle immensely with body dysmorphia and anxiety but exercise and diet has truly healed me. Now I’m 20 and living with my bf and I truly believe they just exploited my problems
During my kids high school years, especially once they went into 10th grade I stopped telling them what to do/ what they should be doing i.e. getting them up in the morning for school, reminder to do homework ect. If they were late to school because they didn't get up on time, they had to deal with the consequences and figure out a way to make sure they got up on time Instead of mom smoothing it over and figuring it out for them.Of course I was always there to talk, give advice but this allowed them to build up self confidence in themselves with making their own decisions.
18:16 I see what she’s saying, and that may be true to an extent, but sitting and talking about your worries/issues/problems/dilemmas is also how some people process. Evidence shows it’s extremely beneficial to talk to someone (doesn’t have to be a professional) willing to listen. However I do agree that if your issue hasn’t improved in 12-24 sessions than you either need a higher level of care or change of provider. You shouldn’t just stop therapy all together, or continue going to the same provider. group therapy should also be considered for long term treatment.
59:10 I was bullied pretty hard in school. I was told I was nothing and that my family was nothing and I was shoved into lockers but I'm doing great! Life is good.
long time jre listener. This episode might be the most important on the channel. its going to be increasingly difficult to protect our kids mental health going forward. be different.
and people have been demanding the government regulate that but i think after covid and the recent supreme court ruling we all know why the government ISN'T stopping these evil assholes from manipulating us
Twenty years ago I worked in the VP's office at ASU, which included the graduation and ceremony office. Parents of college students AND graduate students would call in constantly on their behalf to ask questions, solve problems, obtain information, and complain. Back then we called them helicopter parents. We all joked about it, but all secretly lamented the eventual consequences that this would have. Those "kids" are now in their 40's. Moreover, I taught at universities for 15 years and had a first row seat to all that has befallen academic institutions and now larger society. It is a critical danger that must be navigated. Preferably not as a result of widespread conflict and war to "toughen them up," but by mentorship, reason, compassion, grace, and love. There is no other way.
thats cool and all but thats not gonna change the prices of housing and food. Our gen wouldnt be so depressed if there was actually something to work towards. I pray every night that hopefully i can afford a studio apartment hopefully before i starve or become elderly
I work in a police department and some of the most angry parents who call in about their children’s belongings (impounded as evidence), are parents in their 60s+, as in their children are in their 30s and 40s. It’s absolutely incredible to witness.
I live in Montreal Canada and last year cell phones were banned in the schools. We can’t control what happens when they get home but when they’re in the school, they cannot have cell phones.
I would applaud and agree to 100%. But Canada is so far into censorship right now, that the reasons behind that are suspicious to me. The correct reasoning would be: no internet before 16, parents are responsible for their children, like in any other area. But the internet itself cannot be censored under the pretense of protecting children and adults from "hate speech" . Hate speech does not really exist. It was never legal term. It's an esoteric term. We have enough libel laws. Everything else leads us into an Orwellian future. Even now, YT is monitoring comments already. And even the politest person is censoring its own comments whilst writing. Scary, when you're noticing it within yourself.
*I am 77 years old and I have never had therapy.* *I went to a marriage counselor with one of my wives once, and realize she was a crank.* *I got up and walked out.*
Gym, hiking, cooking, positive friends, hobbies, orderly house (laundry, etc), paired with a daily relationship with Jesus works for me and many others. Not everyday is sunshine and rainbows but I have hope. Hope is so important.
I'd never heard of her before but WOW!! This is the sort of 'Reality Check' people need. I look forward to hearing more about her & even read her book. Real world advice for real people.
Thank u for this podcast cuz a lot of us need to stop looking for the EASY way out, look within, become our own cheerleader and say "I Got This". We are all winners...we just need to fight more days than others to prove to ourselves that we are winners.
I call ADD something different. I call it Advanced Human Software (AHS) as the outcast type thinker in my youth and 20s, I learned it was a great power, and it made me $40 million dollars and 6 companies. 👊😎 Love your show, Joe!
12:43 = Abigail mentions libraries. We have Bad Therapy (11 copies) and Irreversible Damage (4 copies) at my library. They're all checked out, and the wait list to get a copy is really long, so I don't know when I'll get them. I'm very much looking forward to reading them. Edit: I checked the online catalog for a library in another town I used to live in and they have copies of both books as well.
I've had some periods of therapy in my life and the first question I always asked was "how long do you think I will need to come here" and they look at you like its the dumbest question ever. Never even a remote timeline. I also found you can get to a point where you can talk about your problems to death and you end up repeating over and over until you pretty much get sick of the sound of your own voice...maybe thats the ticket haha! Ms Shrier makes some very valid solid points. Young adults seem very messed up.....
I saw a short on this and it brought me to the full length version because yes looking at problems are huge issues; people need to nut up and drive on; yes life is hard for everyone at some point but it becomes easier for some because they nut up! Some never do so they spend life in dispair
Joe made a good point about it not being healthy to be constantly consumed with thoughts of self. We should try to be more others focused. Also, prayer and reading the Bible are things that have really helped me make it through hard times. Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
@@incitatus953 Well, meditation is when you're really contemplating something. Prayer is when I am pouring my heart out to God and asking Him for help with difficulties in my life.
@@incitatus953 I would say mediation is more inward where I'm thinking about what I've read in the Bible. Prayer is more outward where Im trying to connect to God by speaking to Him
the best reason for therapy is for processing help. if you go thru something challenging or traumatic, having a good therapist to help you process what ever it is that youre having trouble processing is gonna be a big help. but you can also get this from a trusted friend or others close to you. but i get it, if you're isolated and unable to reach out to someone close to you, a therapist will help in that regard. anything besides that, i think its counter intuitive. focusing on your problems only makes them grow
I never knew menu anxiety was an actual thing but I can say my younger 100% has this. He freezes up anytime we go out to eat and it’s his turn to order
After a shattered vertebrae, 2 fractured vertebrae, several occluded/compressed/herniated discs, fractured skull, and 15-minute electrocution from malfunctioning implant, I faced my half lb test and decided I was stronger than that last millimeter of trigger pull. The doctors either mock me or tell me that my constant machine gun of second-to-second pain is for life. Thankfully, 100% of the 3 dozen plus “mental health professionals” all denied me care or literally showed more the door. Thank GOD! So I had a choice, check out or make my pain my companion, my friend, my teacher; anything BUT “endure” my pain, truly embrace it. I can honestly say that it has made me a better man, mate, father, grandfather. I discovered that I wasn’t the “invincible” leatherneck, I thought I was, but I was so much stronger than I thought. There are those that have sacrificed so much more and still endure so much more, you all have the ability to mentally endure anything our bodies can withstand. As a great character once said, “you can dooooo it”, stop being a puss! EDIT: that last part is for me; it became my mantra for at least 3 years before I came close to a normal life. It’s possible, but it’s up to us.
Jennifer Bilek would be an amazing guest. She wrote Transsexual Transgender Transhuman. She’s fascinating and she’s done the research behind who’s funding this disaster of a crime against humanity
53:39 her comment about “actual” problem is sort of rubs me the wrong way. As a licensed professional counselor I currently work in community mental health working with patients schizophrenia. But for my internship I worked private practice. I had a client come in one day wanting to talk because she felt like a bad dog mom. At the root of this thought was negative view of self that was affecting numerous areas. Who is to say it’s an actual problem? I am going for pt because I have some foot pain only when I do certain stretches or moves. My pt heard this and said that’s a problem you’re not functioning like you’d like to. She didn’t say it’s not a problem
1:04:11 Actually that is NOT how the US Army treats combat veterans who have experienced a traumatic event on deployment at all. In fact, if the soldier is uninjured physically after a traumatic event (IED,In-Direct Fire, Direct Fire, Accident) they’re put right back on the line and only evaluated when they return home. Then and only then do you get to see an actual mental health professional.. not an unqualified social worker who reports to the Battalion Commander on the well being of the troops, but off the record try’s to keep all troops on the battlefield by not reporting anything that requires immediate treatment. It’s politics & numbers.
I would really like to see a debate between Abigail Shrier and Dr Caroline Leaf who is an advocate for healing pathways in your brain by readdressing trauma. She claims the studies in South Africa showed NOT addressing trauma can actually kill the pathways in your brain and that shoving it down and not addressing causes things like dementia and Alzheimer's
My life sucked in college. I was depressed and purposeless. I was prescribed anti-depressants and adderal after like 1 visit to the doctor… They didn’t help the depression. But the adderal did admittedly help me get through college while being depressed b/c I could study unnaturally well. Senior year my life was changed by Jesus Christ and my life didn’t suck any more. Stopped using the meds, stopped going to counseling. Still think it’s crazy how quick I got the meds. Doctor literally said: “would you be less depressed if you could focus better in class?” Wild
They are coddled to much, not disciplined, learned from failures, taught life and social skills. Their Parents do to much for them they have to learn on their own with some guidance.
i was forced into wilderness and rotc programs at 14 and to this day i think the side effects of what she is saying on the effects on children are very prevalent to how it effected me and it is still happening today, very sad
I'm getting my 5 year old daughter into therapy but I'm so concerned whether it's the right thing to do.. she has developed a fear of using public restrooms to the point where she's now wetting herself at school and she's also become irrationally afraid of bugs to where she no longer wants to play outside. I've tried talking to her about it but I have no clue how to correct this before it becomes even more of an issue as she gets older. Ugh!
Talking about depression really got me back in time, i was really fcked up by it, since I've been child it fcked my life and no one cared, not even in school, luckily i didn't get bullied mich, standart amount, nothing serious, just because i was different, always sad and slow. I have panic attack symptoms very often, had a full blown one once, but avoiding stressful situation, like relationships and going to events helps :D I would be an interesting example of depressed loser who is kinda fine now with no help
Been going through some shit with my teenage daughter and I agree wholeheartedly with 17:04 her. And making ur self a victim makes u a victim. I’m all for self awareness and learning but therapy and needing an excuse for behaviour instead of moving past it is way more harmful than dwelling on things. This is why 40% of women under 30 have “mental illness” .. if I was in therapy I would be a victim and not a normal person about to make conclusive thoughts
An interesting observation talking to Viet Nam vets and Iraqi vets were the differences in which they were deployed and returned. In Nam a lot of them arrived by themselves and were assigned to an outfit that they had to join up with and when they returned they returned alone. Iraqi vets went with the group they were trained with and fought with the same group and returned with the same group. Also the Viet Nam vets came back facing peace protesters with hate and the Iraqi vets came back with banners hero welcomes with the band playing.
you think you can calm down the kid by saying “think about others” ?! If the kid has an emotional break down especially if it’s late at night and he/she overstimulated on the plane ?! This argument is not strong enough to calm down an adult who has a lot more control over emotions ! Such a BS
Ten years ago I remember the huge amount of kids talking ritalin and other psiquiatric meds. What about that now? Terrifing how they play with our heads with no consequences.
Now I understand why I see at least in social media so much distrutst in therapy, I get it. This its too much. It feels insulting that im getting in the same bag as any of those useless therapists as a future professional. Treating someone without you being mentally stable and healthy its the same as operating with Parkinson's: you can literally do more than a simple scratch, mentally speaking, to the person.
Surprise we don't have a lot of people commenting. Usually Joe comment section is always in the thousands easily and quickly. But so far only 213 comments as of today.
I grew up in an abusive household and my father took his own life in front of me when I was fifteen. I was messed up for a long time and was made to go to therapy and take medication. Once I became an adult I no longer wanted to take medicine or go to therapy. I simply started exercising on a regular basis, eating healthy and keeping my house clean and organized. That’s it. Doing those things completely changed my way of thinking. I’m a happy healthy adult. I do still get triggered from my past from time to time. But I just keep focusing on staying on track of my goals no matter how simple and it keeps me grounded.
Wow good for you what are you trying to say? you want us to to clap for you u have been spoiled try dealing with that and being homeless
I'm homeless and dealing with mental health didn't have the option for meds or housing so don't talk about something you no nothing about you spoiled brat
@@daniel-nw5iq are you serious? You clearly haven’t dealt with your own issues. John is sharing his life experience and what helped him, to help others in similar situations. You are a crappy human being. You are what’s wrong with society. John, thank you for sharing, my wife grew up in an abusive household and suicide was not far from the picture. Thank you so much for being so strong in your life and striving for a better way.
That is awesome news to hear. I am sincerely happy for you and thank you for sharing your experience because it gives me hope (along with many other people who read your comment, I’m sure). Keep on doing what you’re doing and I wish you all the best for the future!!
Good on you mate. Love hearing stories like this.
I have never listened to a podcast that focus’s on the main topic and was never boring or I wished they would change the topic. What a great podcast. So insightful for me as a parent.
I find it hard to understand why this isn't one of the most viewed conversations that Mr. Rogan has ever had.
It was from Spotify. Rogan did a mass upload of previous shows.
money.
Cuz that woman is too bitchy and a whiney complainer. Thinks she’s a savior
because most of it is hogwash blaming kids for having mental issues raised in a world that has literally nothing to offer them
Cause she’s very controversial politically
As a kid who was bullied, my parents taught me resilience. One of the thjngs my mom would always say to me "the best revenge is living well". Sure, kids can grow up scarred by it, but only if they get affirmation in those feelings. I grew up very resilient because of my parents.
Feelings are part of our nature. You should learn to manage them. They’re therefore a reason. They’re one of the things that gives us morality. If you have right, suppress them that weakness.
Best revenge is to be HAPY
"Every time someone wants to stop discussions, they're wrong." 100% true, but a lot of people don't understand this.
Was told just yesterday I can't share my opinion that people should try to love themselves as they are before lopping body parts off.
Our government?
.mm. P
Not really true. There are a lot of useless and even detrimental discussions.
@ The difference is between you choosing what conversations you want to participate in and someone with ability to shut down a third party. Free speech demands that so long as it is mere talk, be it ever so ugly, you don’t get to tell other people they can’t have the conversation.
When I hit my early teens my stepfather constantly pushed and tested my abilities both physically and mentally, most times it was moving about 1000 bricks from one end of the yard to the other.
I realised in my late 20s he had installed in me a discipline where I was totally confident in myself and my ability to do anything in life, because he had made it painful for me at an early age.
Now I'm 50 and I'm very thankful for the tough love he showed towards me , I don't think I would have been the strong, resilient person I'm today if it wasn't for him.
That’s awesome.
Things like this remind me to thank my dad for being a great dad.
I’m so happy that I had a Father who was strong and held me accountable standards. He taught me to work for what I wanted and to keep getting back up no matter how many times I got knocked on my butt. I played sports and worked. School was fun and the times were very different. We didn’t even watch much tv. We played in all types of weather and cold. I feel bad for kids now.
My daughter started having therapy and other agencies giving her support including taking her out of classes from age 11 when her brother died. After a while I started to feel like it was making things worse. She was constantly getting dragged back into the pain instead of figuring out how to move forward. Turns out they were calling her they and a different name without me knowing too. She would feel panicked when she didn't have someone available to talk to all the time. Now she's 17 and has taken a step back but still sees a couple of people because her mental health got scarily bad, but she now seems to have got certain benefits from some of her therapies, like CBT and psychotherapy but a lot of the "support" did exactly what Abigail said and what I said at the time, it kept her in it. Kept the focus on the bad.
Have you heard of Gabor mate or Peter Levine? Somatic therapy works amazing and could benefit your daughter further.
@@Modernmindcoach thanks, I'll look into it
I was just like the kids she described during my teen years. I was put on prozac and abilify at age 9, diagnosed bipolar at 15, and put on a more elaborate med cocktail that I was expected to take for life. I'm an adult now, been off all meds for close to three years now and no longer identify as mentally ill. I recognize that I was before, but I don't feel like I need to see it as a permanent condition. I think my parents put me in psychiatry and therapy because, like she said towards the beginning of the interview, gen x felt like that was helpful for them and what they needed. I think it did more harm than good for me, especially on a physical level. I was having signs of kidney problems at 19 and at risk of multiple organ failure, diabetes, and brain damage if I stayed on meds for life as my psychiatrist had planned. Tapering off my meds and proving to the world that I can be mentally stable without chemical interferrance was a HUGE catalyst to my confidence and self-autonomy. When I have kids, I'm gonna try to try my best to be the person they can go to for support and help and avoid professional mental health intervention as much as possible.
One the BEST PODCASTS I’ve heard in awhile and I listen to A LOT! So enlightening and helpful. TY 🙏🏻
As a Soldier and a truthseeker, I feel so validated (ironically, hahaha) to hear someone explain that the way society talks about 'Soldiers and PTSD' is hyper inflated. I've been in the Army nearly 10 years and I've known plenty of Soldiers with trauma from things civilians go through (abusive relationships, death of loved ones, etc), and few (if any) who had trauma from war. I really agree with her that war related PTSD is not that common
I am dealing with 40 old friends with no kids giving anxiety meds to their pets. I live in southamerica so this is a real global issue.
Wow, talk about dangerous and deluded self-projection.
WTF is wrong with women these days??
To their PETS??! That is fucked up. Animals DON'T need anxiety medication. They just need food, affection and a home; if they have all that and no cruelty they won't be anxious.
@@Rugmunchersauce3 Yup, homeopathy and other kind of things to dogs and cats... I was shocked
🤦🏼♀️
Thank you for speaking out about therapy. Years ago there was no therapist in my high school or junior high school, and we were fairly fine. Now kids are more depressed than ever, therapy keeps becoming more prevalent, and the depression keeps rising.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but the therapy session, ever since Freud , has been nothing more than an inverse of the confessional. What we need is not more therapy; what we need is God.
@ about 25 minutes into the interview the discussion reminds me of something that I saw someone say to somebody else online... "Stop trying to infect me with your fears!"
Everything today is fear-based, politics, media, just about every form of sales and marketing especially in the medical fields and pharmaceutical fields...etc.
Just a mention, nothing else. Love the show Joe!
“I can’t drive past my old middles school because of the bullying I have PTSD”
“They don’t have PTSD” 😭 love that more people need to be frank about this
❤❤❤
My mom had a saying/joke she'd say sometimes when we'd talk about someone playing the victim or making a big deal out of nothing. (In a Shakespearian voice, or Scarlet Pimpernel) _"OH, How I suffer, _*_when I think of how I suffer!"_* which is just a calling out of rumination.
Oh thats perfect, thank you ❤
I got thrown into therapy at 13 for self harm and “depression”, which now I don’t think was depression but I was just a bummed teen that was influenced by social media. Therapy didn’t fix anything, I just got sympathy. I didn’t grow up in a stable household my mom has anxiety and pretty sure an eating disorder too, she hid food from me and told me to loose weight constantly when I was a healthy weight, she constantly had something bad to say about my appearance. My dad was sometimes physically abusive. At 17 I went back to therapy because I had extreme suicidal thoughts and social anxiety, they diagnosed me with avoidant personality disorder. They threw antidepressants at me, and did not tell me to exercise daily and fix my habits. at that point I was overweight because I used food as coping, and what I truly needed was to fix my diet. Anyways at 18 I realised anti depressants are a scam and I lost weight, fixed my habits. and man that helped me a ton, I still struggle immensely with body dysmorphia and anxiety but exercise and diet has truly healed me. Now I’m 20 and living with my bf and I truly believe they just exploited my problems
During my kids high school years, especially once they went into 10th grade I stopped telling them what to do/ what they should be doing i.e. getting them up in the morning for school, reminder to do homework ect. If they were late to school because they didn't get up on time, they had to deal with the consequences and figure out a way to make sure they got up on time Instead of mom smoothing it over and figuring it out for them.Of course I was always there to talk, give advice but this allowed them to build up self confidence in themselves with making their own decisions.
18:16
I see what she’s saying, and that may be true to an extent, but sitting and talking about your worries/issues/problems/dilemmas is also how some people process. Evidence shows it’s extremely beneficial to talk to someone (doesn’t have to be a professional) willing to listen.
However I do agree that if your issue hasn’t improved in 12-24 sessions than you either need a higher level of care or change of provider. You shouldn’t just stop therapy all together, or continue going to the same provider. group therapy should also be considered for long term treatment.
59:10 I was bullied pretty hard in school. I was told I was nothing and that my family was nothing and I was shoved into lockers but I'm doing great! Life is good.
I 100% agree with her point on therapy.. 10000%
2 thousand hours of Joe Rogan was just uploaded at once.
😢 19:06 😢 19:06 😢 19:06 g6 G. 19:12
It be like that
Waasup with that ? And I just found this female lmao
I can't believe I've listened to 2 thousand hours of joe rogan. I haven't listened that much to my friends & family combined.
@@LEERGTheir exclusivity deal with Spotify ended a bit ago so they can post full episodes anywhere they want now.
long time jre listener. This episode might be the most important on the channel. its going to be increasingly difficult to protect our kids mental health going forward. be different.
Fantastic interview! One of your best Joe. Congratulations.
social media engineers are extremley knowledgable about human behavior and the propensity for compulsion and addiction. They engineer accordingly.
and people have been demanding the government regulate that but i think after covid and the recent supreme court ruling we all know why the government ISN'T stopping these evil assholes from manipulating us
I told my therapist “you’re making me sadder!”
She fired back with “oh well some people aren’t ready to deal with it”
I never went back…
My therapist didn't think I was depressed becuase I could laugh at ridiculous things.
@@dufjdh3u87rhhdbhfhd 😳 thats how we cope 🤷♀️
Is it a coincidence that when you break the word "therapist" up it becomes The Rapist ?
Twenty years ago I worked in the VP's office at ASU, which included the graduation and ceremony office. Parents of college students AND graduate students would call in constantly on their behalf to ask questions, solve problems, obtain information, and complain. Back then we called them helicopter parents. We all joked about it, but all secretly lamented the eventual consequences that this would have. Those "kids" are now in their 40's. Moreover, I taught at universities for 15 years and had a first row seat to all that has befallen academic institutions and now larger society. It is a critical danger that must be navigated. Preferably not as a result of widespread conflict and war to "toughen them up," but by mentorship, reason, compassion, grace, and love. There is no other way.
Jesus tought me 😊
thats cool and all but thats not gonna change the prices of housing and food. Our gen wouldnt be so depressed if there was actually something to work towards. I pray every night that hopefully i can afford a studio apartment hopefully before i starve or become elderly
I work in a police department and some of the most angry parents who call in about their children’s belongings (impounded as evidence), are parents in their 60s+, as in their children are in their 30s and 40s. It’s absolutely incredible to witness.
I live in Montreal Canada and last year cell phones were banned in the schools. We can’t control what happens when they get home but when they’re in the school, they cannot have cell phones.
Good. They are at school to LEARN and to listen to their teachers, not to be on their phones.
Or you could make school and class a tiny bit interesting, then maybe people would want to pay attention to your drivel
Make the classroom smaller and focus on things that kids can use not test scores
Vive Montreal!
I would applaud and agree to 100%. But Canada is so far into censorship right now, that the reasons behind that are suspicious to me. The correct reasoning would be: no internet before 16, parents are responsible for their children, like in any other area. But the internet itself cannot be censored under the pretense of protecting children and adults from "hate speech" . Hate speech does not really exist. It was never legal term. It's an esoteric term. We have enough libel laws. Everything else leads us into an Orwellian future. Even now, YT is monitoring comments already. And even the politest person is censoring its own comments whilst writing. Scary, when you're noticing it within yourself.
*I am 77 years old and I have never had therapy.* *I went to a marriage counselor with one of my wives once, and realize she was a crank.* *I got up and walked out.*
This was a great episode. Thanks mate.
Gym, hiking, cooking, positive friends, hobbies, orderly house (laundry, etc), paired with a daily relationship with Jesus works for me and many others. Not everyday is sunshine and rainbows but I have hope. Hope is so important.
I'd never heard of her before but WOW!! This is the sort of 'Reality Check' people need. I look forward to hearing more about her & even read her book. Real world advice for real people.
I must tell you the subject is so relevant and close to my heart…. Sometimes I feel we should go back to farming and grow veggies for better life
wow so one of the best jr podcasts didnt even get that much attention ...the world never seems to fail when it comes to disappointiong
Thank u for this podcast cuz a lot of us need to stop looking for the EASY way out, look within, become our own cheerleader and say "I Got This". We are all winners...we just need to fight more days than others to prove to ourselves that we are winners.
I call ADD something different. I call it Advanced Human Software (AHS) as the outcast type thinker in my youth and 20s, I learned it was a great power, and it made me $40 million dollars and 6 companies. 👊😎 Love your show, Joe!
This lady is so positive I love it
Abigail's book showed up in our local library just in the last 30 days.
She’s 💯correct! What a great interview!
Yes good communication can solve a lot of our problems
12:43 = Abigail mentions libraries. We have Bad Therapy (11 copies) and Irreversible Damage (4 copies) at my library. They're all checked out, and the wait list to get a copy is really long, so I don't know when I'll get them. I'm very much looking forward to reading them. Edit: I checked the online catalog for a library in another town I used to live in and they have copies of both books as well.
What an amazing podcast, thanks 🙌🏼❤️
Literally on her side the entire conversation until she said she let her NINE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER walk home from school. Insane.
JRE filling up my feed with more vids i can scroll through 😂
I've had some periods of therapy in my life and the first question I always asked was "how long do you think I will need to come here" and they look at you like its the dumbest question ever. Never even a remote timeline. I also found you can get to a point where you can talk about your problems to death and you end up repeating over and over until you pretty much get sick of the sound of your own voice...maybe thats the ticket haha! Ms Shrier makes some very valid solid points. Young adults seem very messed up.....
I saw a short on this and it brought me to the full length version because yes looking at problems are huge issues; people need to nut up and drive on; yes life is hard for everyone at some point but it becomes easier for some because they nut up! Some never do so they spend life in dispair
“Emotional hypochondriacs” - perfect phrase!!
The best thing I ever did for my anxiety was work out
Are these all the podcasts from Spotify that weren’t on TH-cam?
yes
Thank you, Abigail. Thank you. Thank you, Joe. Children are being saved because of you both.
She’s really smart I got mad respect for her
Joe made a good point about it not being healthy to be constantly consumed with thoughts of self. We should try to be more others focused.
Also, prayer and reading the Bible are things that have really helped me make it through hard times.
Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Prayer, also known as Meditation
@@incitatus953 Well, meditation is when you're really contemplating something. Prayer is when I am pouring my heart out to God and asking Him for help with difficulties in my life.
@@MeMe-le5yt in both you are in a state of focus and presence, only the intention is slightly different.
@@incitatus953 I would say mediation is more inward where I'm thinking about what I've read in the Bible. Prayer is more outward where Im trying to connect to God by speaking to Him
Also; (paraphrase) "As a man thinks; so shall he become."
the best reason for therapy is for processing help. if you go thru something challenging or traumatic, having a good therapist to help you process what ever it is that youre having trouble processing is gonna be a big help. but you can also get this from a trusted friend or others close to you. but i get it, if you're isolated and unable to reach out to someone close to you, a therapist will help in that regard. anything besides that, i think its counter intuitive. focusing on your problems only makes them grow
Joe's putting in that work 💪
I never knew menu anxiety was an actual thing but I can say my younger 100% has this. He freezes up anytime we go out to eat and it’s his turn to order
Great i episode!🙏
This is a great pod, it just is so difficult to hear Her speak.
The FIRST rule for an md: don’t do harm to people!!!! Healing is just the seccond rule…
After a shattered vertebrae, 2 fractured vertebrae, several occluded/compressed/herniated discs, fractured skull, and 15-minute electrocution from malfunctioning implant, I faced my half lb test and decided I was stronger than that last millimeter of trigger pull.
The doctors either mock me or tell me that my constant machine gun of second-to-second pain is for life.
Thankfully, 100% of the 3 dozen plus “mental health professionals” all denied me care or literally showed more the door. Thank GOD!
So I had a choice, check out or make my pain my companion, my friend, my teacher; anything BUT “endure” my pain, truly embrace it.
I can honestly say that it has made me a better man, mate, father, grandfather. I discovered that I wasn’t the “invincible” leatherneck, I thought I was, but I was so much stronger than I thought.
There are those that have sacrificed so much more and still endure so much more, you all have the ability to mentally endure anything our bodies can withstand.
As a great character once said, “you can dooooo it”, stop being a puss! EDIT: that last part is for me; it became my mantra for at least 3 years before I came close to a normal life. It’s possible, but it’s up to us.
Jennifer Bilek would be an amazing guest. She wrote Transsexual Transgender Transhuman. She’s fascinating and she’s done the research behind who’s funding this disaster of a crime against humanity
My mental health was terrible as a kid and teen because of the climate change hoax. They called it global warming when I was a kid tho.
53:39 her comment about “actual” problem is sort of rubs me the wrong way. As a licensed professional counselor I currently work in community mental health working with patients schizophrenia. But for my internship I worked private practice. I had a client come in one day wanting to talk because she felt like a bad dog mom. At the root of this thought was negative view of self that was affecting numerous areas. Who is to say it’s an actual problem? I am going for pt because I have some foot pain only when I do certain stretches or moves. My pt heard this and said that’s a problem you’re not functioning like you’d like to. She didn’t say it’s not a problem
23:12 in 2016 kids between 2-6 didn’t have smartphones, but they DEFINITELY had ipads! thats a huge thing shes missing from that statistic.
iPad is not a smartphone. There is a huge difference.
@@kosmikmusa What are you talking about, it's a giant smartphone lmao
But this woman is 100% correct all the time about everything she says. Can’t you tell by her tone of voice everything she says is fact
Let's get this wonderful person and Dule Gomez on the same podcast
This a good one
1:04:11
Actually that is NOT how the US Army treats combat veterans who have experienced a traumatic event on deployment at all. In fact, if the soldier is uninjured physically after a traumatic event (IED,In-Direct Fire, Direct Fire, Accident) they’re put right back on the line and only evaluated when they return home. Then and only then do you get to see an actual mental health professional..
not an unqualified social worker who reports to the Battalion Commander on the well being of the troops, but off the record try’s to keep all troops on the battlefield by not reporting anything that requires immediate treatment. It’s politics & numbers.
Since time began humans have lost loved ones and you have to learn to grieve and regulate emotions yourself.
losing someone young unexpectedly can be traumatic. Losing someone older from a common ailment isn't traumatic.
Thank you!
We should have the next presidential debates on Joe's show
1:18:50 therapy is a terrible hobby. As a therapist I do not believe that everyone needs to be in therapy
I would really like to see a debate between Abigail Shrier and Dr Caroline Leaf who is an advocate for healing pathways in your brain by readdressing trauma. She claims the studies in South Africa showed NOT addressing trauma can actually kill the pathways in your brain and that shoving it down and not addressing causes things like dementia and Alzheimer's
My life sucked in college. I was depressed and purposeless. I was prescribed anti-depressants and adderal after like 1 visit to the doctor…
They didn’t help the depression. But the adderal did admittedly help me get through college while being depressed b/c I could study unnaturally well.
Senior year my life was changed by Jesus Christ and my life didn’t suck any more. Stopped using the meds, stopped going to counseling. Still think it’s crazy how quick I got the meds.
Doctor literally said: “would you be less depressed if you could focus better in class?” Wild
Excellent episode, again. Here's to bringing up a tougher generation who aren't screwed up yet who are also empathetic and intelligent.
Kids need to be busy - volunteering, small jobs, hobbies, etc.
gotta get them off their phones and off social media
It's hard to get a job now a days, most places don't hire until 16.
@@ihintrr Volunteering a couple of hours a week is a good way to start.
@maryannerazzo1737 true but where I live not many places are taking volunteers. The ones that are required you to be 18 and over.
They are coddled to much, not disciplined, learned from failures, taught life and social skills. Their Parents do to much for them they have to learn on their own with some guidance.
Too many people don't know about this castration😢 but the pendulum swings both ways. The Tide is turning😊
People really don't know about it
I really hope so. We definitely need to get back to being tough and fearless.
Midway upon our life's journey,
In dark woods, we found ourselves lost,
Through gates of woe and eternal pain,
We tread to find the light again.
i was forced into wilderness and rotc programs at 14 and to this day i think the side effects of what she is saying on the effects on children are very prevalent to how it effected me and it is still happening today, very sad
I'm getting my 5 year old daughter into therapy but I'm so concerned whether it's the right thing to do.. she has developed a fear of using public restrooms to the point where she's now wetting herself at school and she's also become irrationally afraid of bugs to where she no longer wants to play outside. I've tried talking to her about it but I have no clue how to correct this before it becomes even more of an issue as she gets older. Ugh!
She’s amazing
Talking about depression really got me back in time, i was really fcked up by it, since I've been child it fcked my life and no one cared, not even in school, luckily i didn't get bullied mich, standart amount, nothing serious, just because i was different, always sad and slow. I have panic attack symptoms very often, had a full blown one once, but avoiding stressful situation, like relationships and going to events helps :D I would be an interesting example of depressed loser who is kinda fine now with no help
American surgeons doing this never surprised me. Money money money. Cut cut cut. Ask questions later. The whole profession is myopic.
Been going through some shit with my teenage daughter and I agree wholeheartedly with 17:04 her. And making ur self a victim makes u a victim. I’m all for self awareness and learning but therapy and needing an excuse for behaviour instead of moving past it is way more harmful than dwelling on things. This is why 40% of women under 30 have “mental illness” .. if I was in therapy I would be a victim and not a normal person about to make conclusive thoughts
Been saying the same thing and Agree with her 10000% always get slaughtered on reddit but she is right
100% mate, that's the maximum. 😉
51:18. What is she talking about? . Taylor Swift said "Shake it Off" and even got a Grammy for it 🤣❤️😁🤣❤️😂❤️
I can’t even control my compulsion for my phone .. I’m going to push it as long as humanly possible before my kids get one
I hope her book reaches parents and helps.
An interesting observation talking to Viet Nam vets and Iraqi vets were the differences in which they were deployed and returned. In Nam a lot of them arrived by themselves and were assigned to an outfit that they had to join up with and when they returned they returned alone. Iraqi vets went with the group they were trained with and fought with the same group and returned with the same group. Also the Viet Nam vets came back facing peace protesters with hate and the Iraqi vets came back with banners hero welcomes with the band playing.
This should have more views
Joe just re-released a ton of videos that were only on Spotify.
The idea that abusive parents must have done something right because their child became successful is just vile.
21 IN LESS THAN AN HOUR SOOO CONFUSED!!!
It’s cause these are re-released episodes he dropped all at once. These had millions of actual views.
What's so confusing about it though, really?
you think you can calm down the kid by saying “think about others” ?! If the kid has an emotional break down especially if it’s late at night and he/she overstimulated on the plane ?! This argument is not strong enough to calm down an adult who has a lot more control over emotions ! Such a BS
Nice to see a woman on here with great information.
I totally agree with her about labeling a child !!!😊
Much love to everyone looking for me from the subreddit !!
❤
Ten years ago I remember the huge amount of kids talking ritalin and other psiquiatric meds. What about that now? Terrifing how they play with our heads with no consequences.
Now I understand why I see at least in social media so much distrutst in therapy, I get it. This its too much. It feels insulting that im getting in the same bag as any of those useless therapists as a future professional. Treating someone without you being mentally stable and healthy its the same as operating with Parkinson's: you can literally do more than a simple scratch, mentally speaking, to the person.
All the Spotify episodes get released?
Yep😊
Yes, thank fuck.
Why are there so few views compared to other issues?
Joe just re-released a ton of videos that were only on Spotify.
17:08 nailed it on the head right here
Surprise we don't have a lot of people commenting. Usually Joe comment section is always in the thousands easily and quickly. But so far only 213 comments as of today.
Probably due to the bulk re-releasing of Spotify videos.
Joe just re-released a ton of videos that were only on Spotify.
Yes, in the recent decades we generally victimize our children and people too much. It's a good topic to talk about and be carefully examined.