How Can an ISTP find acceptance? | CS Joseph Responds
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ม.ค. 2025
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CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte question how can an ISTP find acceptance?
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istp here. I value humility because it works. Cooperation and communication does improve in the workplace when people practice it. Also I am usually the listener in the group, i do ask a lot of questions because i want to be as accurate as I can.
Also, I rarely call people stupid or think I am smarter than anyone because I know that other people have something to bring to the table and its only a matter of asking.
Self assessed ISTP here. I consider myself humble but the reason for it is a toxic family environment and hard upbringing. I may have turned up much less so if there were less obstacles and a friendlier environment.
i was wondering...if all of the beta quadra matures better with slightly toxic family environment (not abusive though) over a loving and accepting home
@@aladdout9454 I'm not entirely sure, but in my experience, a moderate amount of challenge is required to instill the drive to apply and better oneself. We've all seen the effects of excessive coddling and straight up spoiling. That said, the risk of overdoing it looms large and I look back at my childhood mostly as something I survived (thanks to, of all things, schooling and sports) more than a positive, loving experience that I want to replicate and transmit to others.
Great advice yep! I definitely care a lot and tried to always show the care through rational problem solving and thinking I could fix everyones problems. I'm learning to just listen and try to resist that urge to feel responsible for other people. I had to learn to be vulnerable and show feelings to others to get closer to people. I also had to accept that humans all hurt one another and let one another down, and try not to be hurt too deeply around this (and not feel angry at others for their unintended mistakes)
Istp default mode: do more talk less
I’m an istp and I rub everyone the wrong way! I don’t feel bad about it, if you misinterpret me and or my actions that’s your problem! But I do understand other people have strengths I don’t have and may know more then me, about life or a topic in particular. I just don’t care find out what they know. Because that would require me to actually deal with their bad qualities. Which I don’t really want to do. Being completely honest.
Great advice 🙌🏼 "Asking is a Part of Active Listening"
I love it. Im an infp married to an istp, and honestly I think both of us need this advice as we're both prone to assuming and not fully listening and accidentally coming off as arrogant to each other. Its happened many times that Ill get upset at him acting arrogant and then he says I'm the arrogant one. I hope we get a video on the different pairings some day, I'd love a deep dive on the refinement relationship. My infj friend married to an istj would be interested too I bet
I am a 41 INFP, my husband is a 42 ISTP. I am telling you by experience that if you work together you literally have a powerful relationship growing up together. If you both are willing to overcome and letting go of the little things. Ti and Fi doms, being total opposites still can actually understand themselves pretty well if you respect space, time and boundaries. It takes hard work and lots of love, and communication. If you can mature and grow together your relationship will flourish beautifully. You do not always have to be right (as an INFP I love to be right) but ISTPs respect a person who fact checks them with respect and not only to prove a point.
Istp are very selfish compared to infp
As an INTP withTi hero it took me a long time to figure out listening gains you many more friends than talking.
INTP here, I really needed to hear this, thanks CSJ
Great video. Explains a lot about my social standing. You remind me a lot of my percussion instructor who recently retired. Need me plenty of that ENTP wisdom!
I think I’m an ISTP. I do listen to people but am inpatient if I disagree with what they’re saying, and dismiss it in my mind.
This was good
What would help an infp express themselves better, there’s a lot of painful silence and avoidance
Make the infp feel comfortable/safe and make them feel heard.
@@Emily.J. oky thank you ✨
I understand where the asker of the question is coming from with the cognitive battleground between hero and inferior. For example for me, the more I pay attention to what others are doing (Se), the less ability I have to be focused (Ni). If I’m alone, with no Se distractions with external objects in the physical world (things or people), the greater ability I have to be focused and determine what I want (Ni).
This is not to discount the other typical pathway of Ni/Se of “I see what others are doing, so I know what I want”. This still happens, but what I’m saying is if I pay more attention to Se, my Ni focus/willpower thins out and I mostly just observe what people are doing. Maybe this is actually what a cognitive transition into ESFP subconscious feels like. Since Ni inferior has less frames per second. Open question
The Cognitive battlegrounds in your example would be Hero/Demon and Inferior/Nemesis.
ESFP subconscious would be all about Se aspirational performance because your Ni hero already knows what it wants.
As an ISTP with a 30 T, anyone bringing feelings to a debate instantly looses, in my mind. Additionally, I don't need someone else's acceptance. No, I don't know everything, but I will do everything I can to learn a subject. I'm pretty humble. It's easy to accomplish when you learn to shut the daily noise out after 2 years of WFH while being single.
30 T?
30 T?
Have you not taken the MBTI assessment? T is Thinking, F is Feeling. It's how a Thinkers makes decisions. The lessor thinker emphasizes feelings/emotions in decision making. Feelings have no place in critical decisions. See scale below.
30 - 1 1 - 30
@@iSoldat u said "with a 30 T" which was confusing. T cud be confused with 'turbulent'. And mbti as far as i know shows the T/F results between 1 to 100. If anything it cud mean that you are 30T/70F making u isfp. Is there an "official" mbti test you took that only marks you between 0-30?
@@iSoldat If your going to get involved in the CSJ community, you will realise that mbti is invalid. Watch his video specifically geared to this topic.
*I have Fe Nemesis and I often worry about others accepting me, but then I soon forget about it. Having Fe Inferior sounds like a nightmare, TBH.*
Oh yes, it can be a nightmare when literally speaking is associated with the fear of not being accepted whenever it comes to Ti matters - that is, most of the time. Of course, with time and development, this fear disappears, but with a worse period when Fe is already overloaded and hypersensitive, it begins to fall into chaos.
It is
Truly. Having my sense of self worth being completely tied to others is an absolute nightmare. When you couple that with the sheer fact that my hero function by default puts everyone on edge anytime I open my mouth and you have a recipe for disaster. Being a Ti hero sucks. You rarely talk so when you do people naturally listen since you’re an introvert. On top of that Ti is a very direct function. All of this compounds rapidly creating a storm of hatred from those who prefer feel good lies.
@@TooCynical You're not a plant, move and change your environment. Select your friends and circles, this is also happen to me when I was young, now very rarely.
@@honor9lite1337 I agree and have already implemented that mentality. It’s just a shame it’s something I have to deal with in the first place. Point taken though.
thank you for the video💕
The Book of Proverbs repeatedly says to listen more and talk less.
Fi Demon may not care about prioritisation but you can bet my Ni Child wants to develop Ti some days, obsessed with logic, and wants to develop Fe other days, obsessed with ethics
Oh, great - this also applies to intp's.
I'm going to meet my friends today and I'll try to talk less and listen more.
By the way, I've heard about this solution so many times, but I still make this mistake and in the end I isolate myself from others - because Fe gets hurt every time Ti speaks. I have to find a balance, because it tires me more and more.
True, as I am an INTP myself.
Wait, you show your Ti IRL ? 😱
TiSi is the eternal world, so Ne would be doing the speaking. And it offends because "what you heard" doesn't match what you studied.
Solution would be to combine NeFe, AKA walking on eggshells, knowing your audience.
Solution for ISTPs with repressed Fe is naturally SeFe AKA listen to others, "pay attention to others. " cs joseph was spot on in this video. Different methods than I use but arrived at the same conclusion nonetheless.
-ISTP
My daughter is an ISTP female (now 18) abs is the only one of all her friends that hasn’t had a boyfriend.
Great! Thanks 👍🏼👍🏼
i love ur videos chase
SO fucking true 6:40
Literally forgot about this then came back
Derek from more plates more dates is a good example of well developed FE in an ISTP.
He typed him ENTP in a recent stream
@@ShadowQuik could be, I'm going to take some more time to re analyse whether what I am saying is true or not.
Personally I see SE parent all the time within him he's responsible with the experiences of others, and values anacdotal evidence quite a lot in a responsible manner.
@@jhinthevirtuoso4886 He’s extremely systematic. Also informative because he’s pretty explanatory and adds a lot of context to most things he says
@@ShadowQuik yeah I've watched some interviews, and i can clearly see why he typed him ENTP.
especially with the psyched substance interview its pretty clear hes a high NE users.
Hey Cs Joseph, unrelated question but I watched your video on social compatibility from 3 years back and wanted to know why your top 4 for infj's dont seem to match up with the other stereotypical types when so many sites state are good for infjs. I'm reall curious and understand your reasoning regarding functions and their "distance" from each type but thought it was interesting estj's, infps, enfps and etc made the list when most state just enfp and entps..
i feel like literally anyone can be accepted if they talk to people and aren't pushy or something. Is that true?
Depend on what groups of people's!
@@dovio832 yep.
But now I'm contemplating if that applies to istps too given their very unsubtle pushing people, whether in affection or disapproval.
Dear CSJ would you make your next video about Si critic or a future videos will cover that in depth?
th-cam.com/video/7NkqSlYUu9A/w-d-xo.html
Thats why minding my own business is everything. Dont want to waste my time to do problem solving for other people unless they ask me to help them or they just approach to me.I am wiling to listen but I want to verify their words whether it's true or not. 🤷
I do have my istp colleague with enfj focused, she constantly ask to everybody,"whatcha doin?whatcha doin?" And then she just barge in to someone's elses convo that led her to be back-stabbed and hated by her friends. Poor her . She just want to caring😅😅
I feel like Im the wise a.k.a per say boring version of Istp while she is the happy and joyous version of istp. I wish to be as happy as her because she's been raised by a family that accepts her 100%. 😂😂
I see you haven’t posted in a while, I hope you’re doing okay!!
I am hanging in there.
@@CSJoseph please post more about infpss.
Mr. joseph where r the videos ?
Getting back to shooting very soon!
usually the people who give me the most advice i didnt ask for, are just as bad if not worse than me. Enfj are the worst at this. they think theyre self aware but theyre not. i am.. i just dont care because i dont trust others opinions. not because i think theyre dumb.
C.S. Joseph i have a question: what MBTI type have president Volodymir Zelensky in your opinion?
@JTheSnitch ENFJ
@JTheSnitch No he is ENFJ.
@JTheSnitch Do the cognitive function distribution and you will know it for sure.
Trust but Verify; Does Ne trickster have other options by the way?
outsource your Ne to someone trustworthy.
I recommend both.
@@CSJoseph thats a hell of a advice; thanks
Also, opposite functions aren't necessarily in battle right? Ti and Fe used in "camaraderie" imo works better in changing/saving/connecting people than ti or fe alone.
Ps...i guessed it right, pride wud be an istp/enfj sin😬
I have a few entp friends and intp - not always, but it's easy to find difficulties with the right context (im intp). When one of the functions is muted, it's easy; but when both are running at the same time, then conflict can occure qiute easily.
@@Heanesy i have noticed the opposite usually but i cud see why this might happen, yep context is necessary.
@@aladdout9454You know what? All in all, you are right, but I would rather call it the lack of fully efficient and comfortable communication due to the lack of appropriate receivers for specific functions (Fe-
As someone whom as an ISTP daughter, and do know that she actually doesn’t talk much and is a fairly good listener. She can be just quite stubborn when it come to taking advice from other people
Your sentence, read it :P
ISTP is very common, right? Won´t listen, proud. I like the biblical references.
Yeah they're not too hard to find.
@@CSJoseph Thanks.