How to Feel Like a Man | The Art of Manliness

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @niltomega2978
    @niltomega2978 2 ปีที่แล้ว +174

    I'm 55 and through the years found that being manly, believe it or not, is never showing anger. When my wife or kids were angry, and ranting at me, I took the punches and showed compassion and interest in their grievances. Over time they saw me as the rock of the family. Unwavering, steadfast and yes a punching bag for their emotions when they need it.
    Being angry means you are being emotional. THAT emotion should reserved for physically defending loved ones or yourself, never ever against your family. Showing anger means you have lost control because anger is a secondary emotion to fear and frustration.
    Don't lose control. Be the dependable rock. Be a man.

    • @Zena334
      @Zena334 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I believe there is no better way you could have said it. This was absolutely useful information and thank you for sharing.

    • @mikemerrion5051
      @mikemerrion5051 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well stated. Thank you, sir.

    • @markjosephanthonype3744
      @markjosephanthonype3744 ปีที่แล้ว

      Masculine energy

    • @TheDionysianFields
      @TheDionysianFields ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Actually, I can be angry without losing control. There's a time for all emotions. You seem to have an issue about losing control so your restraint isn't genuine anyway.
      Some people get a rush from feeling like the bigger (more noble) person. They are among the smallest people.

    • @niltomega2978
      @niltomega2978 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@TheDionysianFields
      Seem you are the one with issues.

  • @pahkthecahinhahvahdyahd5577
    @pahkthecahinhahvahdyahd5577 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1631

    Glad I'm finding this when I'm still 17...

  • @beseeingyou6
    @beseeingyou6 10 ปีที่แล้ว +402

    This is some of the most inspirational stuff. The cold shower and waking up early episodes have improved my life

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      Glad we could help!

    • @HighSpeedNoDrag
      @HighSpeedNoDrag 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Right on and I started taking cold showers 7 months ago and will never look back.

    • @charlieniven6558
      @charlieniven6558 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@artofmanliness the fact that you actually respond to people is quite virtuous

  • @Moshealthtips
    @Moshealthtips 9 ปีที่แล้ว +625

    proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:
    think and act like what you want to be even if you arent there yet, youll eventually become what you practice

    • @renze7133
      @renze7133 7 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Mo Overall Fitness Hacks I dont believe in any god, but there are lots of valuable things to learn from holy books al over the world

    • @antonellovanni
      @antonellovanni 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      very interesting!

    • @jakeedgell591
      @jakeedgell591 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Dik van Achteren If you don't mind me asking, what is it that keeps you from believing in God?

    • @wyattj.sullivant3494
      @wyattj.sullivant3494 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Mo Overall Fitness Hacks Good to see other Christians out there! God Bless

    • @redserventx922
      @redserventx922 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      wisdom is wisdom take it and make it yours

  • @elsalfo
    @elsalfo 10 ปีที่แล้ว +685

    you should strongly reconsider that background music.

    • @None_of_your_business666
      @None_of_your_business666 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I was just about to say the same 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @brucebloot
      @brucebloot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@None_of_your_business666 it's a classic. classic youtube music loool

    • @xiomaraamvs6440
      @xiomaraamvs6440 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was about to say it

    • @GustavoRodriguez-xg5yv
      @GustavoRodriguez-xg5yv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I feel like something folksy with harmonicas and banjos would do the trick.

    • @shanerobertcooperramirez1726
      @shanerobertcooperramirez1726 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Arthurstf
      yeah that's right

  • @gjwkzvaksb368
    @gjwkzvaksb368 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Summary
    1. What sort of man you want to be
    -What actions you need to take
    -Where did you hope that lead you
    -Act like your idol if you want(Study them)
    2. Start doing the thing that sort of man would do even if you don't feel like it
    -Think about what sort of your ideal man would do and start doing them
    -Ignore negative feelings like lazy and etc
    -With time, your new manful actions will transform you the way you feel about yourself
    3. Becoming a man is alot more like shaving
    -Just because you do it once doesn't mean you're done
    Motto:Virile Agitur

  • @bobbypatton4903
    @bobbypatton4903 8 ปีที่แล้ว +392

    You are what you repeatedly do.

  • @artofmanliness
    @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +169

    New Video!

    • @YeshuahClark3005
      @YeshuahClark3005 10 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Really informational video, thanks!

    • @EdgarTheRaven
      @EdgarTheRaven 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Sam West
      You are also an illiterate troll, who preys on clueless people by making inflammatory racist statements on TH-cam, which you hope will provoke angry response.

    • @jakatak1134
      @jakatak1134 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Art of Manliness
      "Fake it till you make it." Careful here...
      A man is someone who has the courage to be who they truly are, not having to fake anything. To be a man, you have to accept yourself. That takes plenty of action, but it takes thinking too. If you act without thinking, you are a follower and not a leader. A man leads.

    • @rafaeltrevino4792
      @rafaeltrevino4792 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +jakatak1134 it is just the preliminary steps in order to achieve a greater sense of self, a childish mind in an older body does not fit well for some, after becoming, or molding, now "we" take action. As in mentally building a life not sorrounded by the thoughts of finding self, but rather, doing what needs to be done. IMO

    • @thecowboy9698
      @thecowboy9698 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      I've watched a few of your videos, and I wanted to ask you, if you haven't already done so, would you please make a video about how to become physically tough?
      It seems that as a society, men are losing the physical toughness of our fathers and grandfathers.
      For exampke, I heard a story from a woman that her dad - back during the Great Depression - worked in construction. One day while on the job, he got his pinky chopped off, but he knew that if he went to the emergency room, he would be replaced by another Joe who was desperate for work, and his family would go hungry.
      So he instead, just shook his severed finger out of his glove, and continued working.
      Now obviously the best thing to do is to go to the hospital when you've suffered an injury like that.
      But the point is, is that because his family depended on him keeping that job, he fought through the pain and kept at it.
      So I would like to see a video that talks about how to become tough - both physically - and mentally - as mental toughness is a key component to being physically tough.

  • @MoDavid
    @MoDavid 10 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I've been having rabbis explain the term "na'aseh venishmah" to me for 14 years, and this was by far the most connected I've ever felt to that phrase. Great video!

  • @Fuzzyfull
    @Fuzzyfull 10 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    I'm surprised how easy and constructive this sounds although the topic is rather abstract. Such feeling indicates that author is indeed having a good teacher skills and understands the topic thoroughly. Thank Brett for that!

  • @BroadcastDr
    @BroadcastDr 10 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    This is definitely one of those "A-ha!" moment videos. It really makes sense for me.

  • @ReplayKCF
    @ReplayKCF 10 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    ever since I discovered Art of Manliness i'm leading such a better life as a man. It seems like I get much more from a single day than I did before

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Honored to know that we've been able to help. Virile agitur!

  • @conwayvidz
    @conwayvidz 10 ปีที่แล้ว +165

    Being "fake" is a silly word invented by teenage girls to ridicule each other. Talking nice and confidently to people you don't like or make you uncomfortable, or doing things you wouldn't normally do to better yourself doesn't make you "fake." It means your acting like an adult.

    • @-hello6177
      @-hello6177 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      ...manipulation, there's people who put up facades to manipulate others

    • @anibalhyrulesantihero7021
      @anibalhyrulesantihero7021 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      There's a difference between being "fake" and trying to better yourself.

    • @an18yearoldmongolianguy
      @an18yearoldmongolianguy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@anibalhyrulesantihero7021 I agree.

    • @DYKWINNING
      @DYKWINNING 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Know this is 6 years late. In a way, I respectfully disagree with "fake" is acting like an adult.
      Working in customer service, people try to be "nice and polite" through their words. But their voice tone/inflection shows its just an act. They are so annoyed/frustrated.
      Its more uncomfortable with that incongruity between their words and tone. Because of that it, "fake" is an appropriate term.
      I'd rather people be congruent with their words and voice. I'd be less "on edge".
      At the very least people could improve their "fake" gracious attitude so it seems genuine.

    • @ahsanaliiqbalansari2354
      @ahsanaliiqbalansari2354 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      If they say trying to become more manly & mature is fake then beginners going to the gym are pretending to be strong.

  • @bradcook1537
    @bradcook1537 10 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Awesome video, thank you for that. I'm in my late 20s and always struggled with certain aspects of my life because of situations like this. Not just with "not feeling like a man", but with other things. Using weak excuses like lacking motivation or inspiration to do things. Or constantly feeling like I can't do something simply because I sucked at it at the start. It was last year that things started to turn around for me. I was tired of being fat and tired of saying "I need to lose weight..." so I started eating right and exercising (down 55 pounds as of last saturday). I had a hard time socializing from a lack of confidence and a general disdain of it, so I put myself in more situations where I'd have to just deal and I've gotten better at that. I struggled so long with trying to be an artist, ignoring the common sense advice in my face that I needed to draw more to be better at it. Etc.
    This really wraps it all up and helps me understand the method a lot more, and I hope this can help several people out there who struggle with not knowing who they want to be or what they want to do. Thank you for this!

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Congratulations on the weight loss and the other progress you've made in your life. Living proof that act to become works. Bully!

    • @sekaijin8193
      @sekaijin8193 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Act to become definitely works but one thing you missed out is the belief system part. If we just act but we still don't believe in our ability then we're setting ourselves for failure. Right?
      Negative beliefs would drag me down even if I act. Maybe some positive affirmations would help.

    • @moonlightfitz
      @moonlightfitz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You’re in your late 30’s now…

  • @atraxuswraithe6031
    @atraxuswraithe6031 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Brett, thanks for doing this for all men on earth. My parents divorced three years ago, when I was 20 years old, and I lost my idea of what it is to be a man. My Dad was always the pinnacle of manliness for me, and when I found out that my Dad had been cheating on my Mum for the previous 10 years, I was devastated. However, the Art of Manliness website and forums were there for me, and along with my Grandpa, Uncles and cousins, I feel I am finally on my journey to becoming a man. Seriously, you saved my life, my sanity, and my sense of identity, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Atraxus

  • @domocarchina
    @domocarchina 10 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    We need more of this. A simple approach to complex subjects by a man who feels great in his skin.
    You are doing a great job here, and don't you ever quit this!

  • @MooseheadStudios
    @MooseheadStudios 9 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    its shit like this gives me hope for younger generation this is better then any class i ever got in the 90's.

  • @mk45gunnr25
    @mk45gunnr25 8 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    My God man what a great video! One of the best articulations of how to become a "man"! My son is 6 years old and this video will now be part of his "training". Thank you for a great vid! This should be required viewing for all children (yes even the girls so they may understand why a boy acts as he does in his journey to manhood). My compliments sir, and as we said in the Navy, BRAVO ZULU for a job well done!

  • @tschilpi
    @tschilpi 8 ปีที่แล้ว +355

    I've written down my own definition of a ''man''. Maybe someones inspired by it:
    A man is someone who does not watch pornography. Instead, he regularily makes love to his girlfriend/wife. A
    man is someone who holds strong opinions just about any matter there
    is. He stands up for himself and for others, showing courage by doing
    so. He has strong boundaries for
    himself, but also does not violate boundaries of other people. He
    respects his time and does the things he sets himself up to, and also
    respects the time of other people and as such he is punctual in
    appointments.
    A man is someone who is
    not afraid to recognize and accept his own shortcomings and anxieties.
    Instead of succumbing to them, he will, if possible, confront them and
    improve them, even when anxious to do so; he has no problem becoming vulnerable.
    A man is someone who is completely honest to himself and others. He
    follows his own desires, he is honest with his own performance and is
    not afraid to speak out the truth and his opinion, even if it means
    offending people and being critized or not liked for it. He has his own
    standpoint and interest, but also tries to reach a diplomatic solution
    with other parties, to the best interest of all.
    A man is someone who, does not only represent mental and spiritual
    strength, but also physical strength. He is physically fit, has good
    strength and endurance, and respects his body by eating healthy food and
    minimizing indulgence in drugs/etc. He lifts heavy, thus could easily
    sweep a woman of her feet, and do all the chores and exercises of daily
    life without problems.
    A man assumes good, confident posture. He grooms himself everyday to the
    best extent and dresses well; he does not spend too much time infront of
    his computer and rather goes out, doing stuff, being socially active
    and building something in his life. He is mindful in present life and
    does not waste time fantasizing about the future without taking any
    action

    • @alexandergrey665
      @alexandergrey665 8 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      this

    • @janhoffmann7925
      @janhoffmann7925 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Add that he does not let other people violate his authority by disrespecting them and instead punishes violation. If you add this, then it's perfect

    • @michaelcutler5538
      @michaelcutler5538 8 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Bruh. Porn kills love, preach it

    • @raihangame786
      @raihangame786 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Inspired.

    • @kurodatenshi348
      @kurodatenshi348 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      good points i work on the computer tho

  • @pauale10
    @pauale10 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm a woman and love your videos.. I show my son and my brothers, you have amazing videos to help them through their lives.. thank you. Blessings

  • @elbazart
    @elbazart 9 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    To make a long story short, confidence comes as a result of experience.
    In order to gain experience, one must dive into the water, sort of speak, and start swimming.

  • @denerickterry57
    @denerickterry57 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Facts suffered from overthinking and anxiety but now realizing what really makes a man is action u are what u do not what u think u will do are what u feel like doing💯💯

  • @aloneaflame9343
    @aloneaflame9343 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Great video! I am now 23 years and I might be a little late but I'm finally reaching a turning point. I'm starting to become more aware of my actions as a young man, I feel so much better about myself and much more confident.

  • @kebubas
    @kebubas 10 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    These videos are so awesome ! Growing up without a fatherly figure really put some holes into my understanding how to do what or how to act, these videos really fill up a lot of those holes :)

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Thanks for the kind words. Humbled and honored to know that the videos are helping in some small way.

  • @bbqbros3648
    @bbqbros3648 8 ปีที่แล้ว +229

    "THE PATRON SAINT OF MANLINESS: TEDDY ROOSEVELT"
    Hilariously true

  • @uday541
    @uday541 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is my first "act of expressing the gratitude for someone ..............." I used not to express anything or saying Thank u to any one but from now onwards i will.... that is my first step ............Thank you sir

  • @ČičićSoundsCo
    @ČičićSoundsCo 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I ACTUALLY THINK THIS VIDEO JUST CHANGED MY LIFE! I AM GOING OUT THERE TO BREATHE IN THE LIFE I'VE GOT AND EVERYTHING FROM IT! BRETT YOU ARE THE MAN, MAN! THANKS!

  • @MundaneMuser
    @MundaneMuser 10 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    So, if I want to feel like a woman I just act like one?
    Seriously though, great advice. Very wise.

  • @מתןנפשי
    @מתןנפשי 9 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I am from israel and it was great to hear you speaking hebrew :)
    נעשה ונשמע , Na'ase venishma

    • @yuvalomrad7090
      @yuvalomrad7090 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      עברתי בתגובות כדי לחפש משהו עברית..

    • @rickgrimes800
      @rickgrimes800 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Fuck Israel

  • @loudrockacdc
    @loudrockacdc 10 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Spider-Man, I wanna be Spider-Man.

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      Then all you need to do is act like you can swing from building to building with webs that come out of your wrists and eventually you'll feel like you can actually do that.

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      ***** Hahaha!

  • @DISTURBEDFANATIC100
    @DISTURBEDFANATIC100 10 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    my father would give me manly advice, but there would be somethings he couldn't really explain to me. You guys over at AoM helped me elaborate on somethings as well as advice i haven't heard from my father. I've been reading your articles and even joined a group on there, and i just want to say thanks. Stay Manly.

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      TheDisturbedFanatic Thank you sir. Glad to help.

  • @OldSchool388
    @OldSchool388 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I am 15 and if your like me or younger, this advice is for you. If you have brothers or sisters, take care and love them no matter what. It's hard because they can be annoying, but think about what it would be like if you didn't have them. Take it from me I've lost one.

  • @jed23d
    @jed23d 10 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The fact that you mentioned Jehovah shows me that you are a man who does your research. Keep up the great work!

  • @C05597641
    @C05597641 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    When I feel bad I remember the good things I have done. All of them were times when I acted and others might have not. For some reason just doing it made things go my way.

  • @Evija3000
    @Evija3000 8 ปีที่แล้ว +203

    I'm a girl-woman (yeah, struggling with the same thing) and at the moment this is my favorite channel. A lot of the content is applicable to more than just men or named situations. I love the mix of practical advice and theoretical/historical background, just like I love the mix of classiness and goofy humor. And the stache of course.

    • @sjovmaiin
      @sjovmaiin 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Evija3000 NOT the same thing!!

    • @sterlingsteele6839
      @sterlingsteele6839 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      This is a guy channel! Women are well enough off. Guys are here because we need help.

    • @katarzynapuchaa128
      @katarzynapuchaa128 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Same! Also I think the "man"/"woman" channels focus on different virtues and problems and to my mind watching both types completes your knowledge.

    • @renze7133
      @renze7133 6 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      What’s with the people calling her out for watching this channel? This channel is giving lots of valuable lessons, why the hell should she be excluded from that just because she’s a woman? Sterling, I don’t think you get what this channel is trying to teach.

    • @ghazalsuna9861
      @ghazalsuna9861 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      There earth and sky difference between a Men & women.understand this first.

  • @xsvcredstudiosx8352
    @xsvcredstudiosx8352 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love that you mentioned pressfield. My mentor gave me "the war of art" and it changed my life...

  • @KHALEDGOOSE
    @KHALEDGOOSE 10 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you. I've been following your site and videos for about two years now and I just wanna say that the ArtOfManliness has positively impacted my life.

  • @yipdog103
    @yipdog103 8 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Ron Swanson would approve

    • @danielbush5438
      @danielbush5438 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Stingy fix tips "Wrote the entire thing myself"

    • @6agorlak681
      @6agorlak681 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +Daniel Bush 1. BE A MAN

    • @berserkerx40_56
      @berserkerx40_56 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Haha! I wanna be him.

  • @Travigameis
    @Travigameis 8 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Good advice, but I think looking to a role model as a guide on how to act should be clarified a bit. As Bruce Lee once said, there seems to be a modern trend of trying to find a successful personality and then attempting to duplicate it, which is a bad idea. I think there's an important difference between this and analysing the traits and principles of a role model, and exploring them in such a way that you still remain true to yourself.

    • @hakusansaku8800
      @hakusansaku8800 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Travalon, I think all literature and advice on self improvement always take some kind of role model and try to copy his behaviour into the readers mind.
      It could be anything. financial, sexual, social, professional ... success. All they say is "look, I was unsucessful in area X and I will tell you Y secrets how to transform yourself into what I've become".

    • @luckyowl10
      @luckyowl10 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Travalon exactly man, you must get inspiration from big people and create the best version of yourself.

  • @SeidelMatheus
    @SeidelMatheus 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow! That's exactly what happened to me when I was younger!
    I was expecting the day when I was going to wake up and suddenly be a grown man!
    I wish I had seen this a few years ago.
    God bless you, Mr. McKay!

  • @counselor_guy
    @counselor_guy 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Hey Brett, thanks for this video. Recently,I have been struggling with my self-image, feeling inadequate of the stage of life that I thought I should be entering. Your videos have been teaching me a lot of things lately, from how to iron my shirts or shine my shoes to critical thoughts like this one. Thanks for all the help!

  • @IuliaBlaga
    @IuliaBlaga 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    YES! Thank you for everything you do. I love your videos and I feel that in this day each one is needed.
    The world needs MEN and WOMEN and not kids in grown bodies.

    • @kapurants
      @kapurants 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Or they/thems running around aimlessly.

  • @gabeux
    @gabeux 9 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Hahaha, I read about cognitive dissonance and a all of things you mentioned in the video a while ago,but never was provided (or had) the perspective you presented.
    Like how "acting to become" might work because of cognitive dissonance. Usually, CD is used on negative contexts, like "CD is one of the main reasons people aren't usually open to changing opinions".
    Using Cognitive Dissonance to advance/ease/promote/trigget change oneself is exactly the sort of internal wisdom (and "psychological ingenuity") I wanted to discover and achieve when I started reading a multitude of topics like psychology, philosophy, personal development, etc. I'm glad I got to read your website and watch your videos.
    Thanks!

  • @warrenpennick2979
    @warrenpennick2979 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve done this more than once in my life. First, becoming a manly tradesman, a carpenter. First manly job I ever had. Fish out of water. Got there though.
    Second time was at 45. Transitioned to civil service and started becoming engaged in community stuff. I had a mentor I wanted very much to emulate. His example taught me a lot! I definitely feel like the man I wanted to be.

  • @Tha0x
    @Tha0x 10 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    This really doesn't just apply to being a man. It applies to the person you want to be. Pick any aspect of your life, and use cognitive dissonance.

    • @homer732
      @homer732 10 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Being the person you want to be is about the manliest thing you could do.

    • @apocryph4
      @apocryph4 10 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      We all have different apperceptions of what a man is. What's your definition of a man?

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      You are correct.

  • @bkipp
    @bkipp 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was also the best advice I got on my road to sobriety when I was a young good for nothing. You don't think your way into action, you act your way into thinking (waiting for your brain to catch up).

  • @dylanknorr5830
    @dylanknorr5830 9 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Hey Brett! I have an idea that I think many men would enjoy ! I know I would , you should do a video about the books that you read . Like give us some example and show us books that teach us and show studies and such . Just an idea . Otherwise keep up the good work ! Stay manly!

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  9 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Dylan Knorr Thanks for the idea. I might do that.

    • @billybonewhacker
      @billybonewhacker 9 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      +Art of Manliness he's right, and there are few books that are manlier than the Old Man and the Sea. by Ernest Hemingway.

    • @dgunn4408
      @dgunn4408 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Art of Manliness Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein; reads as a military autobio, speaks ad nauseum to the tactical virtues and the synthesis of manly enterprise in one's self.

  • @joeortiz7499
    @joeortiz7499 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have been having this exact thought in my head since I graduated high school 2 years ago and I couldn't fathom how I could accomplish being a man in this world. I would feel weak, helpless, childish, and believed I was a waste of trying to become the man so many people say they see in me. But thanks to this and all of your other videos, I think I can finally start walking the path I have been both dreading and hoping to go down. Thank you Brett.

    • @DCT876
      @DCT876 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      HeyJoe,
      how you doing now.

  • @james10024
    @james10024 10 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    What an amazing and insightful channel. Keep it up!

  • @ObiMomKenobi13
    @ObiMomKenobi13 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am a female, and regularly read and practice much of what I learn from AoM content. I have for years. It makes sense, as a huMan on so many levels.

  • @TerryFerguson1984
    @TerryFerguson1984 10 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for the video, Brett! I am in complete agreement. For a month or so I've been trying to demonstrate more confidence in my daily life, as I figure--like many men, I'm sure--that I could benefit from it, and lately I've noticed that my responses, suggestions, and interjections have become more confident without my consciously trying. "Fake it till you make it" definitely has truth to it.
    This video meshes well with your video on habit formation, I must say.

  • @PulseBox
    @PulseBox ปีที่แล้ว +1

    His videos are so good, I can't help but feel so motivated whenever I'm watching one of his videos. And when they end they always leave me with a smile on my face and work to do. He doesn't do these types of videos anymore but that's alright, He's provided us with enough we need to know to become a man.
    I will act like a man, starting today!

  • @Iceni007
    @Iceni007 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Very good. I initially thought this channel was a post modern ironic subversion of the notion of 'masculinity'. But this guy knows his Aristotle and I like him. He can be playful with portrayals of manliness, yet still sincere. This is good advice. Could have thrown a bit of Sartre as well for good measure - 'to be is to act' - as the existentialists believed.

  • @co1973
    @co1973 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Another excellent video. A lot of your viewers/readers are young men in their 20s, and even 30s and its understandable that they may not feel like a man, but it doesn't stop there. I'm almost 41 and I can completely relate to them. So often, I find myself waiting for something to happen, and I forget that we have to make things happen in our lives. Often, when I do become aware of my inaction, and finally take action, I find that I'm happier and more motivated to change and grow. It's important to have a plan for ourendeavors, but Paralysis through analysis can stifle anyone. Deciding what you want to do and doing it is the sure way to make surest that something gets done. There is no substitute for action.

  • @KiaraStudios
    @KiaraStudios 10 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Is it weird that I am a 20 something girl and find a lot of this channel very helpful?

    • @Argon314
      @Argon314 10 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Not at all! A lot of this material is not specific to being a man, but to simply being the best version of yourself by taking responsibility for your life. Indeed, some of the most valuable content is not applicable to men only, but rather to any person. It would be a shame if a woman saw these videos and thought they couldn't follow the advice within. I admit that I am ignorant about any sites similar to AoM for women, but perhaps there is demand for a sister site to AoM.

    • @reservoirfrogs2177
      @reservoirfrogs2177 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Argon314 if they made something telling women how to "act like a woman" there would be fucking riots

    • @domicioannioulpiano6845
      @domicioannioulpiano6845 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Telling people to learn about philosophy, Aristotle and virtue in general is helpful to both men and women. The best example is Hypatia of Alexandria. But don't go to far to read about the crazy feminists of the XX century. They went to far and rejected the intrinsic human nature that biology defines. In short, think rationally but accept your feelings also.
      Having said that, it's not weird at all, in fact it's good! Have a good one

    • @Evija3000
      @Evija3000 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here. Good advice is good advice.

    • @Evija3000
      @Evija3000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@reservoirfrogs2177 Yeah. There are channels that do that, but they're Christian or otherwise religious. They can get an audience from their religious group, but outsiders usually criticize them. Other women-focused advice channels seem to focus on fashion, health and practical things like that but not morals. Like you said, that's unacceptable nowadays. Well there's plenty of neutral (uni-sex) life advice channels and I prefer it that way. After all we have more in common than not, especially when it comes to values and good lifestyle choices. For gynecology I can watch MamaDoctorJones xD

  • @SZS00
    @SZS00 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for the detailed video about this topic. I am a 33 year old short man who still gets treated like a teenager even thought I have a beard. Sometimes people younger than me in their late 20s treat me like a kid.

  • @AslanW
    @AslanW 9 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    At first I thought that he held up a miniature bust of Stalin haha

    • @MirrorShard16
      @MirrorShard16 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lmao

    • @blagoevgrad94
      @blagoevgrad94 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was thinking about writing the same thing, before I searched the word "Stalin" in the comments.

  • @Jerichopistero
    @Jerichopistero 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm just in that transition in your life of leaving the "teenager" behind and be a man, the man I wanted to be. And I just realised that in that expression you said, the man you want to be, it's what have been doing noise in my mind in the latest weeks, that's the direction I wanted and I couldn't see it. Sincerely, thank you for those words, they came in the right moment. This video should have more views, it's trully inspirational, as other of your videos, but this one it's special. Thank you man, truly. Keep up the good work.

  • @escobarmunir
    @escobarmunir 8 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    Dayum that mustache is thicker than my fat

  • @StuartLoria
    @StuartLoria 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You have to convince yourself first, this video is clear and packed with meaningful content

  • @tylerdurden5121
    @tylerdurden5121 10 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I showed this video to my goldfish and he turned into a Great White shark.

  • @emZee1994
    @emZee1994 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is super good advice. I'll add this, your first point about deciding what type of man you want to be. That's quite difficult I think so maybe make a list of the characteristics you want to have and work towards them using your second tip
    Hopefully over time you will figure out what type of man you wish to be and you will be half way there at that time

  • @heikothedwarf
    @heikothedwarf 10 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Fantastic video, Brett! Wonderful advice and inspiring as usual!

  • @DragonboltBlastter
    @DragonboltBlastter 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This video is golden! i always thought ''think and thou shall become'' but it is ''do it regurarly and you become it''

  • @Eysc
    @Eysc 10 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    this question came to me like 2 weeks ago, im 29 atm, perfect timing AOM!

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Glad to be of service!

    • @weyjosh5213
      @weyjosh5213 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      E SC now you're 31, feel bad man?

  • @ralfgroh2719
    @ralfgroh2719 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm so glad to listen to your sensibility afresh.Your common sense is so good to hear again. Thx!
    .

  • @j.demarco8937
    @j.demarco8937 10 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Brett I feel like you were speaking right to me, thank you.

  • @samgaekwad
    @samgaekwad 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Best video I've ever watched on YT. Period.

  • @Mooniscool-w8g
    @Mooniscool-w8g 8 ปีที่แล้ว +174

    Fake it until you make it

    • @leoki4804
      @leoki4804 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Then you never really make it.
      Believe it and achieve it!
      #PurposeOverPassion

    • @peterdostal1000
      @peterdostal1000 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I just wanted to write the same comment, but now I noticed you posted exactly what was on my mind:)
      Never fake anything, this just has to come naturally. There is no way to cheat this, nor a shortcut.
      No video, no book can teach you how to become a man. Just your own experience.
      I absolutely do not agree with what he says at 6:35

    • @themacocko6311
      @themacocko6311 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Agree! I believe the guy has it incorrect, as well. There is a lot to be said about courage and action but faking is not a part.

    • @rahulyaji
      @rahulyaji 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      But "learn it till you earn it" is more appropriate.

    • @salazam
      @salazam 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Too bad real men can spot phonies a mile away, no matter how long you've been "faking it". You will never make it if you don't know the definition of *hard work, honesty* and *conviction* as taught by the trials and tribulations of enduring a life of meaning.

  • @northstar8818
    @northstar8818 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Those are the advices I've been looking for to deal with trust issues.
    I couldn't thank you enough.

  • @mihir89rd
    @mihir89rd 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Was just thinking about it when the video came along

  • @harrisonsublett7914
    @harrisonsublett7914 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    This makes so much sense. The modern doctrine of just thinking about something to make it happen fails to provide a reason why it works. This says that you might fail at first, but you can show gradual progress that makes sense. Think about it, you aren't going to bench press 350 lbs if you've never lifted weights before just by thinking about it, you need to build up to it and work at it!

  • @Junedude433
    @Junedude433 10 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Another great video.

  • @Thetarget1
    @Thetarget1 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That moustache just keeps getting more and more glorious! And great video - I definitely agree with it. If you want to better yourself you have to do it through action, not thoughts.

  • @MyRandomCommentsXD
    @MyRandomCommentsXD 8 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    wish i could grow a mustache like that but i'm asian

    • @afonsolucas2219
      @afonsolucas2219 8 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Patience. It'll grow. If not, buy a fake one.

    • @AndyBaedal
      @AndyBaedal 8 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      learn photoshop

    • @koffz-nl2118
      @koffz-nl2118 8 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Umm..what about that stereotypical old chinese actor from vintage movies?

    • @DoseOfReality308
      @DoseOfReality308 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      patience bro....patience

    • @DoseOfReality308
      @DoseOfReality308 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      MyRandomCommentsXD also, eat the right nutrients and workout. lol

  • @TiberiusStorm
    @TiberiusStorm 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "If I was to say what is the major emotion of American masculinity, it is anxiety. Why? Because you have to prove your masculinity all the time." ~Michael Kimmel

  • @lucaspietro2502
    @lucaspietro2502 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’m a 22 years old school teacher and I still feel like a boy, people treat me like a boy and I absolutely HATE that. At first I thought that the reason was because I couldn’t grow a beard and etc, but actually was because I was acting like a boy. Man, this channel is changing my life

    • @hannap8052
      @hannap8052 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think confidence and being true to yourself is key, good luck!

    • @abcdwxyz5391
      @abcdwxyz5391 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@hannap8052 yes and I am still a child at 26 😆
      But I am happy with myself but I also live by certain principles I never break no matter what .

  • @StevenTheAristolianNerd
    @StevenTheAristolianNerd 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    These tips are working well for me.
    I reinsure myself every day that I am capable. I have a quiet confidence that keeps my head held high and my feet marching. Thank you.

  • @LFDS94
    @LFDS94 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    i needed this thank you

  • @CDeeez94
    @CDeeez94 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    It’s weird...the logic is so simple like “DUH,” and yet it makes so much sense. Thank you.

  • @FastActionBlades
    @FastActionBlades 10 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    I'm a MAN!!!

    • @artofmanliness
      @artofmanliness  10 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      GAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

    • @FastActionBlades
      @FastActionBlades 10 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahaha

    • @datpmf
      @datpmf 10 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      If you have to tell someone you're a man...you're not!

    • @FastActionBlades
      @FastActionBlades 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      datpmf
      Hahaha, nice.

    • @Ultrox007
      @Ultrox007 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Okay spongebob, but the shaving razor down.

  • @robertchenery5784
    @robertchenery5784 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm 52 , retired , sick and not feeling very manly. Two days solid of the manliness pod casts , web site and TH-cam presentations and I feel like a new man !!!

  • @ameiamber6528
    @ameiamber6528 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was great, even though I'm not a man, I can still apply it towards becoming a 'woman' instead of girl, so thanks x

  • @luckyowl10
    @luckyowl10 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    If you generalise the concept of "man", you'll understand that: you must take responsibility for your every action and ponder if it's the best; to be true to yourself and as much as you can with other, because lies rarely stay secret and lastly, but not the least, you must dress everyday like you'll meet the love of your life (or to say a hot chick), dressing well will send the message to the world that you know what you're doing. I think that everyone has a unique personality and it's not mandatory to be like someone else.

    • @kurodatenshi348
      @kurodatenshi348 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Claudiu Lucian manning up and confronting personal procrastinations (y)

  • @CubNole
    @CubNole 10 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I feel manlier already!

  • @256k_
    @256k_ 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    no other video or piece of advice has more spoken directly to me than this one. thank you.

  • @adrianyanez1946
    @adrianyanez1946 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Apostle Paul said:
    " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
    Phillipians 4:13 (NKJV)

  • @markdaniellemorbos7479
    @markdaniellemorbos7479 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Mr Brett, your videos are really helpful... I bought a book and it's full of wits and tips. Good job.. You're the hero of the young generation who wants to become a man.

  • @ArielBravy
    @ArielBravy 10 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is awesome. Thank you.

  • @carlosmnb
    @carlosmnb 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    One of the best video series I have ever seen. Thank you

  • @danumba1drumma
    @danumba1drumma 10 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hmm if you act outwardly with without the inner transformation, won't people think that you're a hippocrite without an authentic, sincere motive. How can you give (act, in this case), what you don't have?

    • @IceInMaWeiner
      @IceInMaWeiner 10 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Fake it till you make it.

    • @andrewkelly3520
      @andrewkelly3520 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      IceInMaWeiner Fake it till you make it, is a bridge too far without integrity. The workplace is full of 'fakers' empty vessels make most noise. I would say it is more about taking action (not faking) to bring about the internal changes of perception, instigating congnitive dissonance, because at some point your brain then accepts the new commands. However, it is not a green light for being an asshole, or doing things at the cost of other people. Integrity helps to temper this.

    • @oscarstrokosz2986
      @oscarstrokosz2986 10 ปีที่แล้ว

      You do have it, it's just deep inside you and you need to release it.

    • @seuratguy
      @seuratguy 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I don't see it as hypocritical since you are behaving in a way you believe in. You've already thought it out and decided that this is the way you'd like to be so it is authentic. What's missing is the courage to close the gap. Hypocrisy is "behaving in a way that suggests one has higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case." Your standards and beliefs are authentic. It's just the courage which needs to be brought in line.

  • @pixelworld-4656
    @pixelworld-4656 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You’re totally right, I was conscripted to serve in army and I was horrified from the auto-assault rifle, once I considered it and started shooting bullets therefore I’m no more horrific from rifles, act then become! Thanks!

  • @mrwayofwarrior7853
    @mrwayofwarrior7853 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    tldr: fake it till you make it.

    • @Winterhe4rt
      @Winterhe4rt 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      actually no. 'make it, till you dont have to fake it anymore' would be more true....

  • @Bihgazisvepickice1
    @Bihgazisvepickice1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    good advice, i am glad i listened to your video. Thank you for making this

  • @austinadams6089
    @austinadams6089 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    aom how to change motor oil

    • @Lurod_
      @Lurod_ 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Boi

  • @russellbogrett605
    @russellbogrett605 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    As a 60 year old man i joined the military at 18 and became a man really fast. Your taught discipline and responsibility. You are taught to be accountable for what you do and stand up for what you beleive. Own your mistakes.

  • @alskndlaskndal
    @alskndlaskndal 10 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Interesting. I wonder if this is the fundamental difference between Christianity and Judaism. In Christianity, you are supposed to first have an inner change of heart due to the presence of the Spirit which then leads you to grow in virtue over time. Repent (change your heart/mind) and sin no more. Whereas it sounds like Judaism is saying, practice the virtues first and eventually your heart will change. Provocative question: do you believe Christianity has steered our culture in the wrong direction these past 2000 years?

    • @davecrandall245
      @davecrandall245 10 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Reluctant Dragon - Great question! In actuality the problem is not Christianity, but the way that Christianity is often taught in America. This is something I learned about 15 years ago, and as a pastor, it has changed how I preach and help people understand the Bible. Our educational system is built more off of the Greek philosophy of learning vs the Hebrew philosophy of learning. In the Hebrew philosophy you could not say that you have truly learned something until you consistently lived it, Greek leaned more heavily, as stated in the video, on the ability to recite, memorize, and/or regurgitate. However, when we understand that the entirety of Scripture has a Jewish context we begin to look at the words used, even in the New Testament, differently. That's why Christ's command in John 15, "...abide in me..." is so foreign to our way of thinking. How can simply walking with someone, or following someone truly be learning? But, in the Jewish context it makes perfect sense. Add to that, when you understand this, you see that Christ's and his apostle's teachings are much more about 'being' than 'doing'.
      By the way...LOVED THE VIDEO!

    • @alskndlaskndal
      @alskndlaskndal 10 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Dave Crandall Interesting, thanks for the insight.

    • @Thetarget1
      @Thetarget1 10 ปีที่แล้ว

      Great comments! As far as I understand, in the Christian teaching we are already living in eschatological times - death has been conquered, the Messias has already been here. We have basically moved away from the chaotic world induced by the original sin. Therefore, in Christianity, it is assumed that you would be able to live perfectly ethical, so you should also be able to think perfectly ethical, or have a "pure" mind.
      In Judaism we still live in the sinful world, so acting and thinking ethically is considered to be impossible, because we are polluted by the original sin. You therefore have to act out the laws laid forth in the Torah, in order to be a good person, whereas Christians should automatically be able to be good, since in that theology the world has already returned to its perfect state.
      Whether Christianity has steered that our culture in a wrong direction: I wouldn't necessarily say it's wrong, but I think that there has been to great a focus on inwards reflection compared to outwards action. This has especially stifled the protoscientific progress which was beginning in the classical world, but declined in the middle ages. But I would rather lay the blame on Socratic/Platonic philosophical tradition than Christianity, which just seems to be a product of this way of thinking.

    • @The.steppenWolf
      @The.steppenWolf 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      In some ways it did because Jews especially Zionists have used Christianity (European and American Christians) for their own benefit and by believing scriptures an seeing Jews as "chosen ones" we have been fooled by them. Many of modern theories which denigrated white people come from Jewish Authors.
      They (the Jews) even though they don't believe Christianity have used it as a tool to enslave European people.

    • @Sawrattan
      @Sawrattan 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Perhaps, but then at least Christianity has tried steering us at all, whereas the other has made little impact on those outside its fold...

  • @taiaalaoui1500
    @taiaalaoui1500 ปีที่แล้ว

    SO BEAUTIFULLY EXPLAINED. Not necessary to feel before taking action asolutely !!!

  • @RajorshiM
    @RajorshiM 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    So the logic that you are driving at is "Fake it till you Make it"??

    • @delafonsy
      @delafonsy 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Rajorshi Mukherjee no the logic is in order to be, you must do. you cannot be an astronaut with going to space. the same is true with manhood.

  • @supermariozzzzzzzzzz1403
    @supermariozzzzzzzzzz1403 10 ปีที่แล้ว

    I want to be like my great grandfather. Humble, faithful, strong, friendly, and an outdoorsman. I come from a long line of great masculine peoples who range from being in the Freemasons, farmers, hunters, fisherman, royalty, and artists. I hope I can have their wisdom and courage when I come of age. Being 16, I feel like I am one of the only mentally mature ones in my school. Most of my peers are very immature and still act like small children. I hope that they will learn from their wrong doings some day.