Connect or Die: The Surprising Power of Human Relationships | Starla Fitch | TEDxFargo
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ส.ค. 2015
- Dr. Starla Fitch shows us how the ways we’re seeing may be endangering our lives in this poignant, funny talk. Her stories will make you change the way you look at everything. Discover the deadly secrets to our distorted views of others. A talk to share.
Starla Fitch, MD, is The Connection Doctor and an ophthalmologist who’s made it her life’s mission to help people see more clearly - both literally and figuratively. An eternal optimist, her popular international community began for burned out physicians and medical staff and has expanded into a global network guiding others to connect better - with their families, their co-workers, and themselves at StarlaFitchMD.com. Her infectious spirit lifts up those around her. Dr. Fitch is a board-certified ophthalmologist, and a senior partner in a large group practice in Atlanta. Starla has received the Patients’ Choice Award and the Most Compassionate Doctor Award, received by less than 3% of physicians in the U.S.
Dr. Fitch is the author of #1 international best-seller, Remedy for Burnout, and is regularly featured on national and local media outlets, including CBS, NBC, FOX and NPR discussing the doctor-patient relationship, the power of connection, and career burnout.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
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Connection can settle easily:
1 Setting down your cell phone
2 Expressing a gratitude
3 Sharing the best part of your day with someone you love.
Result:
1 Strengthen our connection
2 Lets us live longer
3 Reduces our anxiety and depression.
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“Social isolation increases our risk of death by 32%”! Wow, that means the Pandemic has had a greater toll on people worldwide than most of us realize.
Thanks for a delightful talk. ❤️
Excellent analogies with a higher message. The beginning was tense and overly practiced, killing the appearance of organic release, but every word and all connective ideas were understandable. As the message evolved, bringing intellect down and raising up the heart of WE, I knew I heard an excellent speech.
I love the tie ins to your physical vision. My mom's vision is impaired. Your talk helped me to understand her disability AND see how it's affecting her figurative vision.
+Nneka Kelly Thanks for your comments, Nneka Kelly. It's always so hard to understand what other people are going through, even our family members. And that's the whole point of truly seeing others. We don't know if that person who just cut us off in traffic has a child in the back seat who is injured or sick. We don't know if our co-worker who was rude to us this morning just got some bad news about a family member. None of us in the O.R. knew about Joe. Blessings.
Stumbled across your presentation Starla, and really pleased that I did. In my work, I talk about people "Dying to be heard, literally and metaphorically". My sense is that what we are missing, is being heard, or as you rightly saying, being seen clearly. In spite of the tidal wave towards technically connecting, I, like you, are going against it to get others to see and hear each other more clearly, more deeply, more whole heartedly. Thank you.
+Colin Smith Thank you, Colin Smith. Sounds like we are traveling in similar waters, friend. Glad my talk spoke to you. #ConnectionMatters Blessings to you.
Sometimes i feel like my thoughts are not worth sharing.
I am so alone because of that.
People accept only what they want to hear but not what they need to hear.
How i speak became more important than what i tell.
We are not expressing anything about ourselves.
We are just ACTING.
We act like students, dentists, teachers, presidents...
Everyone is asleep on their dream of reality.
They are not feeling, they are JUST acting...
Fabulous TED Talk! I really enjoyed it and I needed to hear it TODAY. More please!
Thanks, Stacie Liang! So glad you enjoyed the message of connection. Our global community at StarlaFitchMD.com provides free weekly inspiration plus a free chapter of my book. Pop on over! #MakeTheConnection
What a wonderful talk. I think millions need to see this. Thanks for your time and interest in all of us folks.
+Chip Spencer Thanks so much, Chip Spencer. I'd be grateful for you to share our message of hope, gratitude and connection with the world. We can make our world a better place, one person, one step at a time. Blessings.
Dr. Fitch thank you for this inspirational speech “I see you.”
In so far as the enlightenment that I got from the message: I see you and that we should really see and connect with others, we should also at the same time be mindful of the people who are truly a**holes and there's no point in connecting with them.... It's best in our interest to cut off relationships with such people to better our lives unless we are the Buddha!
Starla. An amazing talk, and presented with love and emotion. Thank you for being who you are. I am honored and privileged to work with you.
+Jeffrey D. Shapiro, M.D. Jeff, it is my honor to work with you as well. That's the difference between having a fulfilling job -- and life -- and having a so-so existence. When we take the time to connect, we bond to our team and our patients on a whole new level. And what's great is: it only takes a moment to make that shift. I am grateful for you, friend. Blessings.
Dr. Starla Fitch, you're a wonderful soul!
+Angela Ricciardi Thank you, Angela Ricciardi. It's an privilege to share this message of kindness and connection. Blessings.
What an amazing commentary. Great words.
WOW!! Simple concept yet so very profound. Thank you, Starla :-)
Excellent presentation! This is very inspiring and perfectly presented! I just started reading your book, "Remedy for Burnout: 7 Prescriptions Doctors Use to Find Meaning in Medicine." Also excellent! Thanks for all you do!
+Jeffrey Brant Thank you, Jeff, for your support and kindness over the past several years. You really walk the walk, my friend. Grateful for you!
I'm seeing this for a school assignment and I'm glad I was able to see this.
Fantastic job, Starla. I love the use of personal stories combined with how those in your stories were seeing others in relation to the various eye conditions you see everyday... really got your point across!
+Stacey Broder Thank you, Stacey! It is really my world, in a nutshell. Eyes, hearts, and connection. Very blessed, indeed. Hugs to you, dear friend.
Love this talk Dr. Starla. Thank you for helping us "see" each other, the power of connection, and the humanity in all of us. Love the work you're doing--in and out of medicine--and can't help but smile every time I see or hear from you. Thanks for sharing the love! xo
+Barbara Edie Thanks for your kind words, Barbara Edie. Connection matters, in everything we do. #iseeyou
I am a patient of Dr. Halpern and saw you one time. You stayed late to look at my eye when I started breaking out with shingles close to my eye. I could tell right away that you were a very caring person. I really appreciate your video on changing the way we look at people.
+Gloria Broomfield Thank you for your kind words, Gloria Broomfield. I'm glad you found our message of connection helpful. And I'm honored to have had you as a patient. Blessings.
Dr. Fitch this is a powerful talk!!! I appreciate you and the way you utilized different eye disorders as a visual to help people understand how the way a person views a situation can interrupt their perception. I going to share this with everyone I know!!!
Thank you, Mimosa Palmer. "I see you."
I've watched this multiple times and enjoy it more each time. What a great difference we'd make in patient safety and quality improvement if we worked on connecting more. Connecting would flatten out some of the authority gradient that ends up harming patients. Win. Win. Thank you for your beautiful message. We all benefit from you sharing your gift with the world.
+Kelly Beischel Thank you, Kelly Beischel, for your kind words. Connection can certainly act as a bridge -- in medical care, in everyday interaction, and in our important family life. #ConnectionMatters Many blessings.
This is a very thoughtful and important speech
A very to the heart talk Starla. Thank you for pointing out a few things to me within your talk. Its funny when you know something deep down but when its brought to light your eyes truly are opened. You have a calming voice and will look forward to hearing more from you, Starla.
+Wannetta Clark Thanks so much for your kindness, Wannetta Clark. It's an honor to share our message of connection with the world. #MakeTheConnection can help our world be a little better. One by one. Blessings, my friend.
Thank you for sending me this video. I love you ❤️ God
Such a beautiful talk. I am so glad that you are doing this work in the world with medical professionals, who provide such critical care for us when we most need it. Great job!
+Pamela Slim Thanks for your kindness, Pamela Slim! What's interesting is: over the past several months, so many folks outside the medical world have been reaching out and raising their hands that we've expanding our global community to all walks of life. It's all about connection, no matter what we do for a living. We're all in this together. #MakeTheConnection
Thank you
We all live in this world for a short time.
I think we should take the middle road and be not to closed or too open. Personally, I have always been an open person until I started growing up seeing how people judge you and can advantage of things you say.
Just beautiful story.
Great talk and may I also say how much I appreciate the positive comments on this chat, keep it up, everyone. Cheers, Dermot-The Celtic Coach
Well done speech
What a fantastic talk! I really enjoyed this, Dr Fitch. Keep up the strong work:)
+Amy Hall Thanks, Amy Hall. And thanks for sharing our message of connection and hope to all who need to hear it. Some days, that means all of us. Blessings.
Well done, great message. Found you and this via Twitter, well worth the time to watch. Thank you!
+RapidStart Leadership Thank you for your kind words. Grateful to make the #connection.
Starla...that was beautiful! I wish I'd gotten to know you at CK's events. You are a beautiful soul... Two of my sisters have retinitis pigmentosa...and yet their attitudes about it are remarkable. Thank you for being you. xo
+Sandy Alemian Thank you, Sandy Alemian. I'm honored to have such supportive people in my circle. Hope this helps you understand a bit of how your sisters view the world. #iseeyou
Loved the creative intertwining of vision and personal connection and gratitude to create understanding on an emotional level.
+Linda Goldsmith Thank you, Linda, for your thoughts. Starting our gratitude in the operating room has changed the whole atmosphere of our room. Often, employees will say they've been thinking about their "grateful list" all week. Warms my heart. One of my favorite days was when an elderly patient heard us sharing our gratitudes and he piped up with how he was grateful for us. :-) And it's good to remember, we don't need a team of folks to foster gratitude. It starts with one. Blessings.
Thanks Starla for sharing such an important message. Your wit, humor and compassion are appreciated and so well delivered. Continue the good work and so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with you as we continue to "Love Medicine Again" You're the best, Marla
+Marla Kokesh Thanks for your comments, Marla Kokesh. Such a blessing to have worked with you. #iseeyou #grateful
Wonderful and inspiring, Dr. Fitch. Relationships are key to our very survival and you have shared wonderful examples that speak to our inter-professional and therapeutic relationships. I AGREE and our entire healthcare system will benefit if we focus more on this tough-to-measure yet powerful truth! I cringed at the flashing lights....I'm just saying!
Thanks, Beth Boynton! You and I both know the rigors of being in the medical world. And we also know that the struggles are not unique to our world. That's why there's 80 million Americans who say they have no one to connect to. I'm grateful to know you, friend. #iseeyou
Great video Dr Fitch! I appreciate the stats, the emphasis on the value of social connection and love the stories! I'm all about social connection and also actively facilitate it, so I really look forward to sharing this with my community. As a nutritionist I help people with social anxiety and introversion overcome their anxiety with some key nutrients and thereby become more socially connected. I'm South African and really enjoyed the sawubona "I see you" mention!
+Trudy Scott Thank you, Trudy Scott, for the wisdom you share. I'd never thought about nutrition in this context but it is so important. Glad we #madetheconnection. #iamhere
After hearing this TED talk, I actually feel like together, we can change the world!! Dr. Starla Fitch encourages us to REALLY see each other, and I for one will be looking to connect to others EVERYDAY! Kudos on an EXCELLENT PRESENTATION!!
+kim mclain Thanks, Kim! Glad my message spoke to you and that we've #MadeTheConnection. Honored to have you in my world! Love you!
Courageous and touching, Starla. In my own work as a Coach to healthcare professionals, I often wonder how doctors lost control of healthcare, and how we can get it back. I think at least part of the solution has to do with building real community in which we put our relationships with patients and each other ahead of the usual parochial considerations that have traditionally kept us divided. Thanks for what you do; I think it's great.
+Chris Cantilena Thank you for your kind words, Chris Cantilena. I'm blessed to be able to share this message of hope for all, those in healthcare and those who are not. We are all in this together, my friend. Blessings.
Excellent presentation! Your presentation changed life for many people including me! Thank you.
Great Talk!
that was beautiful maam... :)
This talk couldn't be more accurate during this made time
Great presentation. Thanks Starla :-)
+George Gray Thank you, George! Glad to make the connection. Hope you are seeing people more clearly these days. #ConnectMore
This is powerful and a very poignant message----a call to truly see each other.
+Colleen O'Grady Thank you, Colleen! So grateful for your support and friendship. #iseeyou Big love!
she really had 2020 vision.
Supper awesome and inspiring
+bradly373 Thanks so much! Glad my message spoke to you! We'd love to have you join our global community at www.StarlaFitchMD.com. Big hugs!
Sawubona: I see you (Zulu Language; the way of greeting)
That 80,000,000 number is staggering and sad. I bet most people assume people they see have friends. I don't see tech changing so people connect more, but hope it does soon.
Sawubona everyone!
Sawubona. This was so great talk about gratitude. I hope that many people will see this. Thank you so much 🙏
Why wasn't a biopsy done on Mary prior diagnosing the lesion on her eyelid as a carcinoma and scheduling surgery?
+Elizabeth Piephoff That's a great question, Elizabeth Piephoff. As an oculoplastic (eyelid) specialist, sometimes when a tumor is at the edge of the lid, doing a biopsy can result in a "notch" that would cause chronic irritation of the eye. In that case, one does an excision and biopsy at the same time. This allows for the lid to be put back together without a notch. (Keep in mind that this talk was limited to 12 minutes, so not all details can be reviewed. I'm sure you would be a kind, understanding patient if you were waiting, given another patient's difficult situation). Blessings to you.
+Starla Fitch Great information, Dr.Fitch. Yes, I would be and have been patient with my physicians' time.
I am so proud of you Dr, not because I am from South Africa but, for researching linking the Zulu connotation to your speech- The Rugby world Cup champions salutes you
She would be excellent to work for. A boss like her I'd bring the coffee pot! Write the list during coffee breaks.
I am so thankful to have come across this!!!!
I see you. Thank you.
Sikhona people!
Joe???? JOEEE MAMA
8:42
This content reflects insightful depth. A book I read with like-minded themes altered my life's course. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
what a gem, and 7 years old and still means a lot.
I'll most likely die alone, with no one, no partner, nothing. Cause i have serious issues in connecting with people, i dont even think im shy i just cant seem to open up properly to anyone. Im focusing right now on saving my money cause i've got a house left to me; so i'll just spend my days drinking here and there. Sometimes when i'll feel like it i may jump on the PlayStation, work on Star Citizen (im 100% sure that game will be released if i reach old age).
Other days i may get my drawings out, i like to draw video game characters and iconic movie stars. A big hobby i like to do is put a classic sci fi or action movie on, like the Matrix, pause it at the point of a key action scene, like the bullett time when he does that dive, or the lobby shootout scene, when Neo and Trinity shooting all those guns and doing mad flips and stuff in slow-motion. I'll pause it at a nice angle and try to sketch that scene and capture that cool motion the character is in.
In my loneliness i'll just shut myself off and focus on perfecting my drawings of these key scenes, and create my own folder of my best drawings. These will all be my own little goals to reach and complete, if i can achieve them i'll know atleast ive done something and progressed within myself. I may not have a degree from Uni in Art school etc. But i'll have my own work and then when i die i'll just have it all buried with me. My best drawings, my games consoles and all my games, my Xenomorph and Star Wars collector's figures they can all be buried with me. Cause whats the point in me leaving them behind somewhere? I dont have anyone to leave them to cause i havnt connected with anyone.
You sound like a very interesting person :) I hope you find someone to share all of your things, they sure got me interest. Maybe join some art event, or discord groups, share your stuff in places that you know people will like it and be interested. Good luck Raiken. I say this things but I should do the same but it is really hard, so dont feel judged by yourself if you cant do that too. Maybe someday you will be able to like I hope I will too.
@@victorbicarato9305 Thankyou thats very kind, yes it is hard cause when you have no one to share just basically everything and yourself with.
I hope the same can happen for you too :)
Wait, I missed the humor and saw only the sad cancer stuff and the sweet heartwarming stuff. Was there jokes in this?
no
The speech is good but I don't think that connection is just about mentioning 3 good things about a person ... I feel like Joe the scrub tech needed someone to see his unhappiness with clear vision and just ask ... I guarantee that if just one of the crew did that on a breakfast break or whatever you'd ve all known his pain and fears and connected way better ...
We are all having this issue where ppl see something wrong with someone they know and just don't do much ... I wish we get better at that and may be the world could make life worthwhile
I have no one
25 mins is long? My doctor has you wait 1 hour.
The 10 commandments are based on our relationship with God and with each other. God used his infinite mind to come up with 10 irrevocable, irrefutable laws of life. And they are all based on relationships.
Who else doing this for English
Did you put a curse on me?
I'm the 100th comment...
G i l f
Pretensioius.
people with glasses ;-;
Human relationships are overrated,most people are a pain in the ass whether it is your partner,boss,schoolmate or coworkers.I find most people boring and fucking annoying.
That's a problem with YOU.
y do u find people boring and annoying? maybe u haven't really got to know them well for them to open up to you. what makes them boring and annoying to you? what would make them fun? they might think ur boring too, and perhaps they try to open u up to have fun with them which may shape ur perception of them instead of being annoying but rather fun if u joined their little fun they are trying to have themselves in life. because they can never get that day back, so id assume they are trying to make the best of it or probably practicing on being more open instead of being quiet not saying anything or enjoying their day.
Joe Mama
whOs wAtChiNg duRinG qUArAntinE
bc 8:30 ish
Who else got assigned this bs?