How I Learned to Stop Hoarding
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ค. 2024
- I went through a painful process of dehoarding. A work in progress and I would like to share how I did it and where I got so far.
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Lex Fridman theorized that throwing things away that you “might use some day” is difficult because you are actually facing your own mortality. You’ll never get around to using that thing because your life is limited and throwing it away is acknowledging that.
Very deep. For me, it's because I am too frugal. There is value in it and tossing/donating it is wasting value. I have no problem with selling everything I have at fair market value.
@@BeatTheBush Perhaps you’re looking for a rationalization? If you’re getting cash to get rid of it then you could always replace it later so you’re not really parting with it. By the way, you’ll probably never get to spend a lot of your money either. Is it worth wasting precious time converting needless things into likely needless little scraps of money? Why not just achieve what your goal is quickly? Just food for thought. Good video.
@@dksculpture So sell it because you can just buy it again? But then you say selling it would only be a little money? What should be done then?
@@user-vi4xy1jw7e What I’m saying is that time is the most precious thing we have. Many things may have some value but there’s no way to extract it without spending time. I’d sell the handful of things with significant value but then toss or donate all the rest. A friend of mine got a big dumpster and did a massive purge. For example, he threw away all the nuts, bolts and other hardware he had accumulated over his lifetime. He reasoned that he could just go to the hardware store and buy whatever he needed when he needed it. He didn’t have to waste time organizing all the little bits or searching through them when he needed something. The hardware store became his hardware stockpile. The key is that he got rid of a lifetime of clutter in a few days!
A hoarder with adult attention deficit disorder is in a whole other universe.
I am one of those ... when going thru closets, boxes, and drawers I find things I forgot I had !
Really good things, so I get excited all over again, pull it out and amuse myself until I realize I'm hungry and its past my bedtime.
This experience repeats itself when, a few days later, I find yet another treasure.
Srangely happily doomed .
Ps.... I'm retired, don't feel bad for me
Telling yourself something is "worth something on Ebay" is a serious form of hoarding.
I’m a hoarder, for me it bothers me that I throw something out then I have to buy the same item a few months later 😞 Great tips, I love your content
Same.
A small price to pay to rid yourself of 20-50 items.
There is a price to pay for keeping to much stuff. We have to look at it every day. Dust it. Move it. Trip over it. Walk around it. Keep the cat/dog/bird off it. Worry about it getting broken, rusted or damaged. It takes up space in our house/apt, and we pay for every square inch we live in. How much of our rent/mortgage space goes to that thing, mathematically? Things cause us stress as they constantly remind us that somehow, we will never have enough. Marketing strategies know this, because they want to sell us "collections" of everything instead of just one. He is right that some of us have a "bountiful" mindset and it's easy giving stuff away because we know we can always replace it if we need to. It is not worth $20 to keep looking at something for years on end that I don't use. If someone said they would give you an item you have no use for and will pay you $20 to keep it in your house for years and years, would you do it? Of course not. It's not worth it.
It is inevitable, sometimes you will have to buy some things back.
But on average you still save money, if in future you stop buying things just in case, or to have a spare, or because it is on sale.
More stuff can be a distraction. Sometimes less is more.
I really want to practice a minimalist lifestyle
What are you waiting for?
Thank you for being a great starting point. I've been searching on TH-cam any decent videos from people who struggle with this explaining a way to start. Everything else seems to be either made from gimmicky 'tricks' that only work for folks who don't have the same struggles, or just clips from the TV show. Grateful for this! 🙌🏻
Glad it was helpful!
I've noticed that many people keep storage units filled with stuff that they just don't want to let go. For me its if I don't have the space to store an item I might as well not have it
And I walk by too many garages filled to the brim and their cars parked outside. Usually the garage will still have a narrow pathway from the door to the outside.
@@BeatTheBush right!!!
This video couldn't have came at a perfect time as I'm cleaning out my garage
Some tools are not worth keeping. Might be dull, or that you don't use it ever, or it's not your favorite.
Keeping the sunk cost fallacy in mind helps. The money is already gone-- you can try to recoup but is it really worth the time? Depends on each person. I'd rather look at it as a lesson learned and not waste further time (which also equals money) on it.
How much is your time worth? It varies from person to person and can you really make that additional amount or more if you worked an additional amount?
Thank you so much for this video! Really needed this!
I have been a hoarder for many many years, and been in recovery for a few years too. Your video has come along at a time when I now consider myself in 'recovery', and I have been trying to find successful stories from people who have been on the journey. Too many vids and TV programmes focus on the extreme hoarders and the thrill of clearing out their lifetime's worth of STUFF. You never get to see these people 5 years down the line.
I loved how you talked about selling on eBay and compared the value of the item with the effort to sell it. I have been selling mostly low value items and have come to the same conclusions. So much time and effort wasted on trifles. I get it with the multiple items scenario. Sometimes, you can have several of the same thing, simply because you can’t find an item, so you buy another. Oh and the shoes thing too. Not just shoes. I buy new clothing items, and then put them to one side until the item they are to replace has worn out, and I mean reeeeaaallly worn out. That’s something for me to tackle next.
So, a big thank you for your straightforward video from someone who does understand. I would do one of my own, but am camera shy. Think I may do a photographic version. I have lots of before and after photos, I could share with the world of hoarding.
Thanks
It’s like you read my mind these past few days and made a video for me to watch. Keep up the great content 👍
Hope you enjoyed it!
Great video, thanks for making it. 👍
Nice tips! I certainly can't sell old clothes from different time areas for anything worth my time but I'm glad for your tips of starting small. I finally started getting rid of clothes and I feel pretty anxious because I feel like I love them all! I'm trying to stick to the mindset that these items don't look good on me since I gained weight over the 10+ years I've had some stuff. Anyway, thanks!
Sometimes frugality leads to minimalism (buying less) and sometimes frugality leads to hoarding as in buying things on sale or getting them for free and "saving" it until its used. Its a fine line to walk to insure you dont end up in the hoarders side. The trick, I think, is knowing how much is enough to store without going down the road of hoarder mentality. 2-3 of each item is plenty. Nobody needs 50 bottles of shampoo and conditioner, even if you can get them on sale cheap or free. It can be hard to pass up though. The struggle is real, especially when you are NOT a millionaire.
Thanks for the tips and sharing your story
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I had the same idea as you and had a lot of unused items around my house and decided to sell them all on eBay. The problem is this plan backfired on me. Because a lot of the items were vintage and everything was different, I spent a lot of time researching each item. And because the item had to be shipped then I started collecting boxes and packing material. So now instead of having a clutter-free house, it's much worse. My living room is full of boxes and packing material and items listed on eBay packed and ready to ship. I've decided I want to rent out my condo. Now I have the problem of not knowing what to do with all this eBay stuff. Keeping the boxes around and continuing to liston eBay is a slow process for me. It's actually distracting and taking a lot of time away from the actual de-cluttering that I want to do. I thought about storing all the eBay stuff, turning off the store, and focusing on decluttering other things in my house. I've got rid of a lot of paperwork but that is my Achilles heel. I want to get rid of more of it. That can't sell on eBay and I feel eBay is slowing me down to get to this paperwork. So I guess what I'm trying to say is yes I think eBay is a good idea for more expensive items that people actually want. For obscure vintage items and a lot of clothing, it takes a long time to sell them and you become a storage facility instead. I decided to rent a storage facility and will store the good items I have listed on eBay. The rest I'm going to donate. This will clear up space in my house so I can get to work on the actual stuff that won't sell anywhere like my paperwork. Sometimes we have to look at the big picture. The rent money that I am losing every month by taking so long to declutter, is much more than I am making on eBay.
The next chapter of your life seems interesting. Whether you choose vanlife, live overseas, start a family, rent or sell your house. I'm looking forward to it.
Soon... that dinning table might go, lol.
You have been a great influence me to be a minimalist as much as I can. Thanks
I'm so glad!
so young and you're on the right path, we come with nothing and we go with nothing, that's my mantra, I have just started de cluttering, and remind myself no more buying, make do with what I have, i bet you're more happy
everyt5hing you said is exactly how i feel. my whole family has a hoarders mindset though not just me so theres lotsssssss of stuff.
I personally feel being a hoarding is a hindrance to your full potential. Transforming yourself from a hoarder to one that is not is a very worth while task.
Hey before I forget... Your audio quality is really good.
Good video man. Please deep dive in to topic like this more - love to learn - trying to a live simpler life but it's harder than I thought.
I found some minimizing videos a bit too simple. I couldn't just ask myself if I love the item or not and toss it if I didn't. Hence this video. =D
This is a amazing video
I really needed it
I have missed you. Happy you are back! ;-))
=D
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I used to have a lot of vacuum cleaners too!
this reminds me of a hoarders episode where the lady lived in a 2 story mansion the 1st floor was clean but the 2nd floor was loaded up with stuff she never allowed anyone to go upstairs good luck I hope it gets better for you
ROFL! Yeah, that's me. Except it's getting better. I hope I don't have to talk about this again soon.
I like how you modified things and estsblished time lines to keep things in your 'doable' range and avoid overwhelm. Very relatable. I have never sold on eBay. I need to learn. I am old enough that many of the things I don't want are considered vintage 😂 . It's hard to know what things have monetary value and what doesn't.
Some vintage stuff are very valuable. I just sold a vintage board game for over $100 and purchased for $10 or so. It takes time to find out the value so look for sold similar items, you can filter this on eBay.
@@BeatTheBush Thank you.
Great advice!
Thanks for watching!
How relevant! Literally helping my father move out all his hobbies and toys…
Has he used it past 5years 10 years? Gosh I have some things I haven't used that long.
Yup. You most definitely overanalyze everything lol love it!
How about "Don't get attached to things that you cannot pack into the car?"
Looking at my gigantic gaming collection. 😭
How bad do you want to free yourself from material goods?
@@BeatTheBush I want to be able to just pack it up and go. In case of emergency evacuation or SHTF. With enough food for at least a week.
i going through the same process ,becoming a minimalist is fantastic more time and more money to spend on things you love ,,,,, im getting rid i items i have more that 1 of at the moment
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Best video
BtB, I’m trying to get rid of stuff, too. I’m kind of cheap, so often imagine a use for stuff. Less is better. I’ll have to listen to this regularly.
Every hoarder I know says to STOP before it gets bad.
I hope some of these tips help. I hope one day we can all reach that goal.
interesting!! to know your ideas
Wow, your explanation of this was literally so spot on, even the rationale for not selling small things, thank you, this is going to be very helpful
The only thing most of us Asians are guilty of hoarding is Money. Sometimes a little too excessively, where we don't even take the time to use the money to have fun.
I have had 2 relatives who passed away at a young age, One of them literally collapsed on the restaurant floor where they work. Sure they made a ton of money but never really got to enjoy life, all they did was work.
I always tell people it is great to make money, but you also must NOT ignore the importance of Work / Life balance.
Yes, I probably have this issue. Probably having fun IS hoarding money. That is partly why I spend a bundle on my Tesla. At least I got to enjoy a bit of it while I'm alive.
Do come visit Singapore!
Quick tip for everyone: garage sales and move our sales are amazing to find flips
I want one of everything! I see what it is though I actually started watching your videos before I began my process of dehoarding. I finally am almost there and it is shocking the more I get rid of the more I have yikes! About 45 percent done. It has been three years now of really attempting to let it go
At least you only want one. I had 10 of a few items, lol.
Congratulations! I'm really poor, but I have "an abundance mentality." I also don't buy random purchases. b/c it's uncomfotable to not have money in the bank. I'm still workng on money mangement/spending less to have money at the end of the month, but on disability (SSD) it's a Herculean challenge. I'll get there and some mnths are beter than others.
Only thing I buy now are food and cleansing supplies only. During the pandemic I got rid of some books, clothes and miscellaneous. I'm still trying to get rid of more junks, slowly now but nothing coming in.
Throw something out everyday until you can say this is a good amount of stuff to have.
@11:41 BtB is my brother from another mother. I’m also an EE: mixed-signal circuit design
Oooh mixed eh? Somehow thinking about voltage head room gets me a bit excited.
Take pictures of what you think you can't part with. Often, it's the fear of losing the memory of it, and the memories looking at it might unlock. A flash drive is easy to store...
I love the idea of minimalism and only buying what you need and things that bring you joy. However, I'm not a minimalist myself and also find it hard to throw out something that "I might need someday". Sometimes I question my motive for throwing out something just because it seems to be a trend to have open living space, empty shelves, and less visual clutter, etc. That trend can easily change to one that urges acquiring possessions and filling up all the white space, any day. While, it might look better to have less, I don't really beat myself up if I keep something simply because a) it's not worth the stress of feeling bad over having extras lying around b) again its a trend. If I really had to get up and go somewhere, van-life, whatnot, I would probably just quickly get rid of 1/2 of my stuff and put the rest in a storage facility.
At least half the volume of my things are gone. Haven done it, I have no regrets. I love it.
Don't let trends dictate to you, it's your space, do what YOU want with it.
Oh easy. I stopped shopping.
It worked !!
How about ridding of stuff you already have? IF you have too much.
@@BeatTheBush oh that's done already. I barely have anything now.
I was afraid if I moved again, I don't wanna go through all the pain when I previously moved lol.
ive started to dehoard over time... e.g. i got probably 50 tshirts... and i just dont buy any new ones and only throw away/ donate if i notice one not being in good shape anymore or not fitting me anymore
Curious to see your closet, beat the bush.
I'll show it one day, I didn't want to stage it since I would've had to remove some things for internet security purposes.
Dude. If you do vanlife, you'll be forced to ask yourself if you really need that new pair of shoes or if you even have a place for them in the van. I don't think I'll ever go back to house/apartment life...constantly moving and buying new stuff and throwing away old stuff, paying a ton of money just to live. Vanlife might be more time consuming and you have to deal with some discomfort but totally worth it!
I see your icon is a van. I am contemplating this but my burn rate is very low, I might argue it might be even lower than living in a van? What draws me to it is the ability to travel to a destination for very little money. At 20mpg, it's not free but cost is spread out the longer you stay at a location.
@@BeatTheBush Yeah, traveling in a van is soooo amazing! You have the comfort of your home where ever you go. Right now I'm tied to 1 location because I'm still working but once I have enough money I'll be hitting the road for sure.
I wouldn't be surprised if your burn rate is lower than living in a van hah, you're pretty hardcore! But for most people, you just can't beat it unless you're backpacking.
Hope you put serious thought into it. Living in my van changed my life. Not just financially either.
HOLY $HIT!!!!!
You have a lot of fairly valuable stuff!!!! :O
Yeah, my mom is a semi-common boomer with a hoarding problem, except she hoards very useless $hit...like magazines, newspapers, random stuff, boxes, etc.
Maybe have buyers pay for shipping?
I wouldn't have thought so but here we are, years and years later and still milking random items and cashing them in.
@@BeatTheBush lolol, surprisingly
What's your experience with selling stuff locally (on craigslist, facebook marketplace, nextdoor etc)? That removes the shipping/packing costs
Heavy things sell faster since people look for those locally. But many expect the price to be lowered accordingly since you no longer pay eBay and shipping fees.
@@BeatTheBush People in person also have a chance to waste your time driving to meet them only to offer you way less than what was agreed before you left. that ebay fee can be worth it just to not deal with individual buyers.
My problem is that I’m a lot better at buying stuff than selling it. I’ll find things that are cheap that I can flip on eBay, but then I sit on most of it.
I suggest to group those flipping items together physically at your place and do the 10% off a week selling them.
lol whoa 8 vacumn cleaners, glad you are getting there...usually something breaks and i dont spend time to fix it and i just toss it...on my fourth neato
I had 3 shop vacs. One for my shop, one for my garage, one extra bc it was on sale. Then and older one that never broke, and one that was a hand me down. All gone now though.
lol I just hate throwing things away that might be useful in the future
I donate excess stuff. It’s quick, easy, and satisfying.
Nice!
IMO it’s “okay” to hoard one category of items. It becomes an issue when people hoard multiple categories of items. For me it’s clothing, but I don’t have an interest in much else. I don’t buy unnecessary makeup, electronics, home decor, books, etc. When people start hoarding and buying items that take up space in multiple areas and rooms of the house it becomes chaos.
Maybe there is something about having less that really gets you more. I'll report back when I can announce I finally got there.
Honestly, that mindset will get you far. Not sure if it is confirmed but I heard that people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs only had like a bed and a cabinet, next to their bed in their house and that was it. Making use of only a space that you paid for (and know you got a good deal on) and everything you have up until it breaks and then you replace it, means that your mind becomes more organized. This means, even financially, your money goes to only things that you really need and you know your expenses like the back of your hand. This is how people become wealthy.
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I read something interesting about, how, hoarding may be related
to UN-diagnosed ADHD. .
I don't know how true it is though...
I also tend to hoard,technical books, love to read, love knowledge.. (hated school)
Everybody has ADHD these days with attention span shrinking with social media.
@@BeatTheBush Just so you know I was being serious, not making a wise crack or anything.
I've been looking into ADHD a lot recently out of curiosity.. & (B/c of my own personal faults)
& just happened to come across an article mentioning hoarding. (Used to it was associated with OCD, but psychiatrist
realized that may not actually be the case)
nowadays i focus on spending money on experience rather than things, so i don't have to deal with the hoarding problem
im doing the same million hype
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Any ideas how I can sell my old phones, camera etc?
I would check out the eBay videos I have. Wipe your phones of your data first.
1:28 yes yes yes
Hide everything and take them out as you use them. Everything still hidden after a year you can probably get rid of.
I would rather just donate everything because I don't have the patience to deal with trying to sell items.
Question is, are you able to? Do you have too much stuff now?
Omg strange you’re doing this video. In 3 years we’re hitting the road to travel the USA. I started selling my personal belongings so I can maximize the cash I get for my stuff because I’m not rushed and have to give it away. Plus if I ever move or something changes then I won’t have to move everything. Problem I’m having is I have a lot of stuff and it’s overwhelming trying to figure out where to start. Ideas?
I must've worked on it for a few years myself. It's a huge project to sell so much stuff. I'm almost believe it might not be worth my time if I could use the same time to earn much more. That in itself is hard to prove though.
Come back to Hong Kong!
Do they have an Amazon warehouse there? Maybe I can work in a dai pai dong?
@@BeatTheBush Haha I thought you could just retire in HK. Buy a small apartment, live minimally, and make videos traveling throughout Asia in the near future.
What's your ebay account?
4:10
What is your eBay store link
Or even a summer job makes you realize the value of a dollar.
All that wrapping and administrating and getting bogged down on the Internet!
Just take it to the charity shop or recycle it or dispose of it responsibly.
Sorting it is fine - taking that final step of removing it - there's the difficulty. And what is that strange resistance to giving it up? I can't define why that resistance is there, I don't even know what it is. It makes no sense. I have got rid of some things but not nearly fast enough to make any significant difference. It's time to get real and keep only essentials and A FEW uplifting things.
For me its the residual value and if I'm willing to spend to move on with my life for the better, it helps mentally.
how do you afford the walk in closet? Maybe you could rent out that room
It's part of the home I live in. You cant rent out a walk in closet since I live in that room.
Problem is once eBay bans you it’s for life and then it’s back to hoarding life.
Yep. eBay has a policy of banning without warning nor reason.
Did you dehorde the stuffed animals?
Some of them yes. But still have T-rex and Icebat.
Minimalism is bliss.
Less I own the better I feel.
I still have 10 computers and 10 expensive RC cars. Not planning on getting rid of it anytime soon.
No need to if it doesn't bother you.
I never thought you had the appearance of a hoarder. I always saw lots of clear space in your videos.
Only you know you.
The video space I record in is very clear of stuff. I used to have a spare room filled with boxes and random junk you can only walk in to a narrow path.
I am a haorder too lol. It is hard for me to throw away things and also I have 100's of the same thing. 🤫
But do you think it's a problem? You cant help yourself if you don't think there is something wrong with hoarding.
Yes, I do. I have several storage units as well.
Hire a cleaning specialist, they'll throw everything for you. Go to the mall for few hours and once home, no more junks around the house! Problem solved.
I dont have junk around the house. I have everything in closets. My husband has helped me get rid of some things without me knowing lol. If I know I will go get it and put it back in the closet.
Im not a dirty hoarder. I'm an organized hoarder. I LOVE storage bins and containers.
Did you sell your Dogecoin??? Thanks
No I still have it. And now I am broke, next video topic on this on Monday.
Dump the grifter Musk Doge already! No fundamentals about crypto. Buy when it has crashed, sell when it's high enough and before it's started crashing down to the toilet.
I don't have a vacuum cleaner.
1:35 now you are talking. if i had some sort of financial freedom, I would live in Japan, Korea, and
travel to Vietnam and HK, etc. I don't wanna get stuck in the same city with same community after achieving the freedom.
I can't handle the stuff around me; so, selling it is out of the question. Goodwill can take it idc
I don't think of myself as a hoarder, and my place looks like garbage compared to Beat The Bush, who considers himself a hoarder.
It looks a lot better on camera than in my garage. =D
If you haven’t touched it in x years is a good test, unless you hoard prep stuff. By definition, you don’t touch it until you need it.
This is my enemy.
Ahhhh... prep stuff. It's a whole culture behind that.
@@BeatTheBush It’s a sickness! And harder to get rid of.
True story here….. in 2017 I did a big paint job and ordered a case of N95 masks because it was $5 more than the two pack.
I finally convinced myself I’d never use them again so I threw them out in January, 2020.
Three months later they were worth gold due to this little thing called COVID. You may have heard of it.
Help me!
BTB we another 'Don't Buy it you don't need it': Coming out of the Pandemic edition
How to find out things to buy when I don't have any of it? Lol jk, I still bought some stuff. That series will continue soon.
BTB, you need to think about what your time is worth. If you are making 4% on your money, I'd argue that your time, say 5,000 hrs a year, is worth about $13/hr. If you can't make this, drop it at Goodwill. What is now scarce is your time and less so your $$.
But I argue there is a difference between money you will earn anyway vs. additional money you make to compensate not earning that small amount. Sometimes, you wont earn $5 extra if you don't sell it and might just squander that time instead watching some show on Netflix.
@@BeatTheBush I think, using your logic, that you could hang out collecting cans with bums all day and argue that this was time well spent, because you made money recycling cans. The only thing that is limited is your time, so you should price it accordingly.
Stuff that wont sell just put it for free on fb marketplace
donate... too much time to hand things off to people.
better to listen at 1.5x speed
=D
How do you call someone, who has double of everything? Moses.
Brah, did you say 8 vacuum cleaners????
You need a shop vac for the garage and one for the electronics lab. Then one for the car.
Mr. Bush, your calling yourself a "hoarder" seems ridiculous to me. I have a sibling who is a real hoarder. If the average person living alone in a two bedroom apartment has, say, about 1000 pounds of stuff (furniture, clothes, pots & pans, books, etc) my sibling would have many, many, times that. (If all the stuff were moved out it could fill multiple transport truck trailers! Put another way, if it were all put in garbage bags it would take several hundred bags). Haven't you ever seen the hoarder shows on TV & seen what real hoarding is?
I don't dismiss the value in what you are saying about downsizing & living a more minimalist life, I just disagree with equating your "problem' with that of real clinical hoarders. I personally have way too much stuff that I'm attached to but that isn't hoarding. It can lead to it and it is important to address the tendencies before they get totally overwhelming.
"I personally have way too much stuff that I'm attached to but that isn't hoarding."
-_-
8 vacuum cleaners isn't hoarding I don't know what is. Btw. I used to have two huge boxes of computer cables. Probably over 30lbs each box.
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You should do a video on how to sell on eBay for dumb people.
Step 1: Stop Hoarding.
=D
Step 2: Throw or donate everything away not used in six month.
You might be a good reseller without even realizing it.
Lol... since this video, I've sold off so much of my stuff.
Less but better quality
It gets expensive but with less you probably can afford more expensive things.
I heard that Steve Jobs was a minimalist. He wore the same clothes everyday and his house was empty & unfurnished.
Takes too much to think about those things. That might be a goal. =D
When you hodling dogecoin and selling everything else 🤣
Minimalist is the thing to do!
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You can do a yard sale. Being a TH-camr is an excuse.
I hoard so much BTC, it is unhealthy I know
Naw, that's fine. It doesn't take up space.
why would neone stop hoarding?
The weight of material possessions clouds my mind and reaching what I imagine is the next level.
@@BeatTheBush keep ur mario and zelda stuff or sell them to me