This Low-Budget Horror Movie is Terrifying...For All The Wrong Reasons
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To celebrate Halloween, let's watch a VERY bad horror movie called "Goblin" that released in 2020. I know 2020 was a rough year for everybody but I honestly think this movie was the worst thing to come from that terrible year. Apologies in advance! Happy Halloween!
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thanks for watching!
comment "HE GOTTA EAT" if ur reading this
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HE GOTTA EAT.
ALSO, You gotta come to San Antonio, TX!
Kurtboy
hi mayor how are you !!
OK!!
I would have bought it if it was called GoblinSheild.
so youre telling me that goblin engulfed a whole cougar, the husband, step son, and neighbor but was fine with settling with a bowl of dog food ???
well, it settled for the dog food... and sarah
@@madkat1012 oh dear…
don’t worry, when she gives birth it will eat the baby :)
@@mayapapaya02 THE SMILE AJSKJSKS
@@mayapapaya02 Food dispenser 😍
Pour one out for Elias. Spent his whole life preparing to fight a goblin, then immediately got fucked right up by literally the first goblin he ever met.
WJEJDJSHSHS FR FR
Not only that, but the goblin that ate him proceeded to bang his wife and get her pregnant 💀
kinda relatable gotta say😕
@@G0thBug Elias is the old guy
@@G0thBug As Kurtis said, get some help, because there are only 5 characters and You still don't know who is who.
“You versus the goblin she told you not to worry about” except this time she absolutely DID tell you to worry about this goblin and you gaslit her and told her the goblin did not exist lmaoo
BRO THIS COMMENT IS SO FUNNY LMAO
Look at you now, you've been vored, cucked, and to top it off your lawn is covered in goblin shit.
I mean to be fair, I wouldn’t exactly believe someone if they told me a goblin touched my window
It’s not gaslighting, he didn’t know there was a goblin and he was trying to comfort her because he thought she was just being paranoid because they’re in a new place. He believed what he was saying, too.
Not trying to defend him, he’s not a good guy, but that wasn’t gaslighting
@@HopePapernacky it was a joke my boy
As soon as I saw the goblin eat someone I thought "this is someone fetish film isn't it?" And I think that ending proved me right
Oh my god you might be right, it's a fucking fetish film, that makes so much sense.
Yeah a fetish film made by a goblin
The fact that I thought “goblin vore lol” right after seeing the goblin eat someone whole helps your point
That goblin be goblin more than just dogs
Considering how many horror movies are actually fetish films, I wouldn't be surprised 😭
If the “oh god” line of dialogue doesn’t become a recurring soundbite throughout Kurtis’s channel from now on, I’m going to be disappointed. That is “makin it stinky” tier audio.
You’re absolutely right
I hope so too, because it's amazing!
Right up there with the Barbie “balls” with reverb sound effect
That 'Oh, god!' lives rent-free in my mind now
Hahha
“just an old guy who knows shit about goblins” feels like a social media bio
I just made this my instagram bio
naur don't give them ideas
@@rain.8480 nobody “old” has their pronouns in their bio
@@peenyyt4921 yes they do. Depends on their personality
I want to put that in my bio now
The scene with the lady going back and asking if she has time to talk is just like a RPG like Fallout or Mass Effect when you accidentally leave the conversation and have to go back and talk to them.
True!!! BTW these spam bots!! WTF?
@@70ren They've become so much worse the last month or so and youtube does jack squat about it, it's so annoying
@@emilyb.8219 honestly it’s just insane how there’s no moderation or spam control on a site that’s been around this long
Don’t forget about Elderscrolls games! 😆
I love that the actor who played Danny Jr. Told Kurtis on his podcast that he legit went into acting because he liked a girl in the drama class lmao
That's why Michael Cane went into acting, too. He said there were a ton of pretty girls in his acting school and he wanted to get laid.
@@shwahgamerwell, he also became an award winning actor in the process so....
HE WAS ON THE PODCAST!!!???
@@fishkid1177 th-cam.com/video/uVvMJQqDsMk/w-d-xo.htmlsi=uSiy0WfrvsmZ_ZS9
YESSS ITS INTERVIEWING DANNY JR FOM GOBLIN ON VERY REALLY GOOD LOL
kind of insane
th-cam.com/video/uVvMJQqDsMk/w-d-xo.htmlsi=nZBK94ijT6Dl0R6a this episode // episode #168 for anyone wondering
The "Hey you got a minute" sounds like when you end a conversation with an npc and then he passes by you and start a conversation again
💀
Hey. Have you ever been to Cloud City?
"Do you get to the cloud district very often?"
"Oh, what am I saying?"
"Of course you don't"
shenmue vibes
"Hm? Need something?"
kurtis editing shrek into that one scene was legitimately scarier than the entire movie
SERIOUSLY ASFHWLRFHRW i had my volume up and didn't see it coming so it genuinely scared the shit outta me
I laughed so hard
OHH HELLO THERE
The scariest thing about this movie is the implications at the end.
i nearly fell off my chair
"old guy who knows a lot about goblins" has to be a reoccurring character
dont get too attached to him
new movie trope???
One in Trolls 2 as well
That's my only personality trait
Grandpa seth
I love the old mans stereotypes in this movie, because he's the most german man I've ever seen in a low budged movie. He's got a realistic accent (didn't expect that!), of course he knows everything about some random medieval legend and dedicates his life to it, and he's got random prussian weaponery hanging in his home. Also why does he instantly think the anomalys are caused by a goblin? That pretty coincidental! He just moves from Germany to America to escape that Goblin, and there just happens to be the same goblin right next door?
Maybe goblins are attracted to elderly German men lol.
@@calowenby1654 But Sarah wasn't an elderly german man tho- or was she?🤤
@@calowenby1654 The goblins got a type 😏😏
I don't know about the realistic accent part...
@@NovelPhoinixTheSecondidk, he kinda sounds like a male version of Esther from Orphan only a way worse actor
“You vs the goblin she told you not to worry about” had me in tears
Same omg 😂
been there before 😩
Oh shit my balls are exploding
Oh shit my balls are exploding
Oh shit my balls are exploding
"You're not a train, you're a movie" THAT WAS TOP TIER KURT
what's with these bot replies
@@kathaai FRR/I love loona
@@kathaai dude I see them every time I comment something. So weird
@@kathaai Report all of them! It's what I'm doing. If they get enough reports, they'll be deleted. It's driving me crazy. The same accounts flooded Jarvis's video too.
as soon as it said “9 months later” I just had a horrible feeling about what they were implying and I hate that I was right
Omg me too
Me too
The only time 9 months is mentioned in movies is to imply pregnancy
She gave him a shy smile when she served that kibble. Like..what kind of penis does a goblin have? I imagine it’s barbed tho
@@baddie1shoe i just assumed it was all wrinkly and shriveled up, like a rotten jalapeno
Shnoopsie sounds like a word a Christian mom would use instead of swearing when she stubs her toe
Haha you're right.
or a christian mom trying to teach her kids about their privates
600th like
666th like
@@SpectralMagnolia I love America.
I thought the goblin was actually going to be her husband who “died” at war and he was turned into that creature due to some sick government experiment… the actual ending was so much worse 🙃
SAME LMFAO
That my friend, will be the plot of Goblin 2!
I think you put more thought into that than anyone did for the actual movie :(
That would’ve made it sm better
@@milessara87 there already is a Goblin 2, it’s called Troll 2.
I love how she screwed the goblin and is having his baby but he still has to live in the shed and have his food brought to him like a pet rather than a human-goblin hybrid baby daddy.
Well yeah can’t be too sure it won’t eat the baby or her other kid for dominance 😍
Don’t kink shame
Stop- 😭😭
Goblin Hybrid Baby Daddy??? 😭😭😭😭
She no longer let men to control her life or be the superior one, therefore this creature must know its place
Nothing could've prepared me for that actually horrifying ending
MY JAW DROPPED AND STAYED THAT WAY TILL THE END LMAO
The ending broke me
I haven't reached the end yet... Should I stop watching?
@@saorise28 The ending is so insane you should see the movie just for it
Oooo godddd
As soon as I saw "9 months later" I knew where it was going... I just knew it.
And yet nothing could have prepared me for that.
When she turned around and revealed her pregnant belly I legitimately screamed. That was by far the scariest part of this "horror" movie.
the SMIRK she gives to the goblin💀 crying and throwing up👋
Now that's a horror movie.
But I personally prefer the goblins from the cave.
Pregnancy is pretty scary. 😩
Also just 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Same here! But then I immediately started laugh crying out of shock .
The fact that Danny FOUND a cougar, and that's glossed over like yeah of *course* he found a cougar in the suburbs that wasn't actually going around eating smaller animals.
Also it's surely not legal to hunt cougars, especially ones that aren't posing a threat to people
It's possible that it was just a cougar eating smaller animals and the goblin showed up by coincidence
And the fact he skinned it in his backyard and hung it up on a swing???
@@blaszaczka You mean to tell me that ISN'T a perfectly normal suburban activity to take part in!?
@@LoveLee_Dreamer I honestly don't know what Americans do in their free time, I'm Slavic, were just chillin' with our vodka while slav squatting
Ngl the goblin just absolutely taking out all the men that aren’t literally Sarah’s own child is… something to think about…
A wee possessive, ain’t he? I’m guessing that’s what won her over tho... So goofy so silly 🤪
@@eialys So is this a dating strategy you would recommend?
It's the opposite of the infanticide seen in many ape societies. Goblin learned to read the room with Sarah
Yes the goblin was courting sarah
I’m getting Wattpad vibes
fun fact: people with anxiety tend to enjoy horror movies because it gives them a tangible threat to place their unreasonable amount of fear on! i know this because i have really bad anxiety and really love horror :]
I mean sometimes, sure, but i grew up hating horror because of how easily i transposed the creatures or creepy discoveries into my real life
I'm late but this is so interesting!! I have rly bad anxiety and love horror movies too !
I have GAD and hate horror 🤣 but interesting theory coz I used to love true crime but that's more real events that could actually potentially happen to me so idk
And then there’s me, with horrible anxiety who can’t watch horror movies because I get awful night terrors and won’t be able to sleep without every single light on everrr 😭
I have anxiety and I love horror movies too, but I can't watch them unless it's daytime and I'm in a well lit room with at least one person I'm comfortable with
The little “just a green man” kid actor wasn’t bad for a child. As for the adults…😕
"Oh gAHD"
*”NOoOh”*
Bro danny was fire wdym, oh wait are we not talking about drew goo- I mean danny gonzalez
That moment when a 10 year old can act better than adults
@@completlynormalhypernova666 That ain't a 10-year-old, that's a 6-year-old.
i was already laughing at the twist ending but the “you vs. the goblin she tells you not to worry about” joke literally made me fall over
th-cam.com/video/FSSFgWlDbJU/w-d-xo.html…….
Honestly, funniest shit I’ve heard all day
Why do I feel strangely motivated after his “life is passing by” scene…. He’s right… I won’t do any homework tonight! I’m going to Darrel’s!
yknow what, you’re right! count me in, too!
Tell darryl ill be there in 5
the chode part lmao
Yo count me in
Can I come?
I love how in the illustration of a goblin terrorizing a village has no goblin in the picture just some woman tossing her baby into a fire lol
She was smiling to
@@Your_Unlocal_idiot3 Definitely taking the opportunity to get rid of that baby "Oh no, crazy, goblin attack, my baby, no!"
Ancient forms of birth control be like
@@mergenocideGod damn it, I can't like this comment enough.
I love that the “thermal vision” was literally just regular footage with a filter over it
Yeah
That was the 2nd worst part of the movie
@@rosettekalombo3072 what's the worst part ?
@@meriamayari1278 everything else except the "oh god" sound bit
as it should be
Goblin shit is MASSIVE
Omg my favs interacting
Dhhd
this and sharkestein are on the same level and u can't tell me otherwise!
OMFG FAVES INTERACTION
It’s like baby elephant shit. Seeing as how it basically eats humans whole..I think it should be bigger. Maybe that’s why the Goblin has a beer gut dad bod..he’s constipated
I can’t stop laughing at how Danny Jr just ceased to exist and the family just didn’t care lol
He might've been a little bitchy but come on he DIED. Anyways it's a lesson to be nice to people or they won't be sad about your death😔😜☠️
Well he’s a “little fuckin’ brat” 4:51
Well same with the fuckin boyfriend lol, he just seems cocky, that's not really a great reason to wish death upon him. This lady is just off the charts, she's like "Oh my new stepson died? Oh well. I want to kill my husband now. My husband's dead now? Let's fuck a goblin."
I mean 🤷🏽♀️😂
Honestly if there was a Danny Jr. In my life I don't think I'd mind them disappearing.
I would be so offended at a teacher wasting my time, calling a meeting and accusing me of shit over a drawing like that. It just looks like the kid was trying to draw Shrek. That's what I'm most fired up about lol
Huh?!.
Me to like😭
"This is my family, this is my mom, our dog and Shrek lives with us"
The horrible cgi Goblin in the garage peeking out from behind that counter is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life
Me watching my dad fix the car
It's a fucking meme moment right there and I wouldn't blame someone for making that their profile pic in the comments hahaha
😭😭😭😭😭
@@joannaalmazan4508 it’s me. i’m someone.
"Yay it's the ugly little backyard shit goblin! :D"
me at the beginning of the end scene: oh they kept the goblin as a pet like the babadook
me seeing sarah’s pregnant stomach: THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE BABADOOK
LMAO
Babadook: r34 edition
“more like goblin ON DEEZ NUTS” - a fallen legend
Fly high, king.
#TeamSea
Thankskilling (2008) is in the same tear.
Dude SPOILER!!!
@@gracekurtz7251 WAIT I DIDNT THINK ANYONE WOULD GET THE REFRANCE IM SO SORRY
That visceral reaction to seeing the Goblin hand was too real. I think they showed her something traumatizing….like the budget of this movie.
Hahahaha
kurtis describing a movie: "it's a movie. it's definitely a movie."
he said that because there was nothing nice to say about it, it was a joke lol
@@futurehofer1564 i'm autistic and have tried my whole life to make sense of different types of humor, but i think i could've told even without all my research and ways to try to understand sarcasm or the use of irony as a means to cause amusement that this was a joke....
edit: THIS IS ACTUALLY SO EXCITING!! this is the first time i think i'm "outjoking" someone and SOMEONE DOESNT GET MY JOKE (the original comment) TELLS ME THEY THINK IM NOT GETTING A JOKE ABOUT THE SAME THING MY JOKE WAS ABOUT (kurtis having no clue how to describe this movie)!!!! (i know, this hurts to read; i'm really sorry, i tried but i can't word it in a better way) i'm kind of proud of myself now for real 😭😭😭
edit 2: now i'm gonna quickly forget about this exchange because i'm getting paranoid YOU were being sarcastic and i didn't catch it. lets pretend all i didnt write all of that and pray that no one but you (the person i'm mentioning) is reading that shit. sorry
@Leaf Elvan ohhhhh that makes me so happy!!! thank you so much 💗
it ony a movie
I love how insane these movies got even with such a low budget
th-cam.com/video/w84hhVYXDuY/w-d-xo.html
Ayee I’ve seen you on a NickIsNotGreen video before 😳 wassup
@@charisma7914 what’s good! I’ve been waiting for a kurtis video! Been watching him for years now. How about you?
@@AaronYorkYT I only started watching him about 2 years ago haha. My mind has been cluttered because of school, so it’s nice to see a new video from him so I can unwind a bit.
@@charisma7914 that’s awesome! I’m currently in school and making videos and keeping up with the world and working so I completely get that. Hope school goes well and you have a chill 20 ish minutes with this inane movie review lmao
As someone who works at a school, if a mom who came every day to pick up their child heard the dad had picked up the child and seemed concerned, we would drop everything and try to figure it out, not just say “good day and also your kid has good art skills but it’s kinda scary”
this is good to hear
That seems like a very suspicious thing. Idk why the teacher was like "ok and btw he drew a little goblin"
Not a teacher but I do work with kids and if this happened, I would immediately ask if I needed to call the police
especially considering that she had no idea the dad picked him up which means he didn't tell her
the "dear even hanson is a horror movie" joke is honestly so accurate.
I was absolutely floored when she was pregnant with the goblin's child. My jaw literally dropped.
hi swiftie😊
Literally same
swiftie👏
I think the more pressing matter is whet she’s keeping the father in the backyard
i couldn't believe what i was looking at like omg
words cannot describe how much i loved that “hello ween” joke. it was so ethereal. simply put, i adore this joke. 10/10
I know I died 😂😂
th-cam.com/video/w84hhVYXDuY/w-d-xo.html
Indeed
My hero is mid
@@cisrot that avi you have is mid
"WHERE IS MY BEIJING BEEF" and "I've gotta eat🙄" got me crying
WHAT the fuck!
For me it was the
"whAT thu fUck"
@@shoebox_coffin that did top it too😂😂
Yes bruh I expected to laugh but HOly shit what an absolute icon
Honestly? He carried this movie
Kurtis pitching a movie called Goblin where the killer is a shark reminds me of the 100% real movie Possum, which is a movie obviously about… a spider. Actually it’s a really interesting movie though I thought it was a very interesting metaphor for childhood sexual abuse
I love that movie!
@@calowenby1654 yeah it’s really good! Such a cool use of the uncanny valley!
A movie called Possum, about a spider, being a metaphor for childhood abuse-
...I'm endlessly intrigued!
@@damienearl8302 it’s very interesting! It’s about a man who uses a spider puppet (Possum) to deal with the sexual abuse he faced from his uncle after he has to return to his hometown when he is fired and a young boy goes missing
@@miajohnson4025 Fascinating, I've gotta give it a watch sometime!
I like to think that the “goblin” saw his reflection in the window and was just like strokin his hand down his face in awe of his reflection
"Dang, how come I don't got a girl yet?"
You win the comment section. You just win.
The goblin is like "I am narcissus and this window on this terrified woman's house is my lake."
That goblin got Gonkers
That goblin got Gommy Gilkers
That good gussy
I like how the dad’s whole arc in this movie is just going after progressively larger animals every time it ends up not being the animal he just killed 😂
*kills cougar* “IT MUST BE A BEAR” *kills bear* “it must be…. AN ORCA” “In a suburban neighborhood?” “SU AND HAND ME MY GUN”
Feels more like something from a children's picture book than something from a horror movie.
Maybe the real monster in Goblin WAS the great white shark
@@alleymercuryway7777 *grabs a harpoon* "Welp, I'm off to find myself a blue whale, keep my chair warm!"
Oh shit my balls are exploding
Kurtis: "This cop."
Man standing in front of animal control truck that says Animal Control.
Fun fact animal control officers are cops for some reason
At least where I live
They're animal cops
@@evaasclouds excuse me what
They HAVE that much power?? That seems like such a bad idea 💀
@@Tw0Dots - This statement can be applied to either type of officer here.
18:04 Wouldn't it be crazy if he did the same thing with a bear, and then the goblin ate the dead bear, so Danny now thinks there's a fucking- elephant on the loose and he goes hunting for bigger and bigger animals?
there’s a whale on the loose!!
@@ljsing-n6yHe then manages to find and kill it.
@@Gibberishusernamehere “it was all the way in the ocean but I managed to find and kill it!”
“Danny we live in the middle of America you were gone for weeks.”
“Well that’s a weird way of saying thank you.”
*THE NEXT DAY*
“HONEY I’M GOING OUT THERE’S A SPACE WORM ON THE LOOSE”
“DANNY PLEASE YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU”
HAHAHAHAHA i laughed so hard at this
i was waiting for the coveted “goblin these nuts” joke and you pulled through thankyou kurtis
Same
just wait...
I think I zoned out D: do you know the timestamp please?
Kurtis mighta pulled through, but the goblin didnt pull out thats fosho
@@siwap3809 no way 💀
the ending was fucking genius tbh. Having the goblin kill the abusive husband and become the new home guardian / forbidden lover...? Genius. Fantastic.
spoiler dude!
@@kimkoya3882 it's literally in the fucking video
Kinda sounds like a Wattpad story🥱😑🤪
Guillermo del Toro is giving a standing ovation
😂😂😂😂
i literally started crying when she turned and revealed that she was pregnant holy shit
AHHHHH I SCREAMED 😱
If i wasnt at work when i watched this i wouldve screamed
Was already screaming about the week's profit from my investment and this video made me scream more😄😊.
My life has totally changed since I started with $ 7,000 and now I make $ 29,450 every 14days .
Mr. Franklin has been managing my trade for months and I keep making profit every week.
Okay the idea of a movie called goblin with the creature hiding in the dark being a great white shark is even funnier because of the existence of goblin sharks, a completely separate type of shark that a great white also is not.
You could have just said species
[edit] fine i’ll put *SPOILERS* here since you guys care so much about spoilers for a bad low-budget movie
i like how the goblin literally ate her husband, her step-son, and her neighbor, and she still let it knock her up at the end
She wanted it to eat her, too.
girlboss move
Talk about a fuckin spoiler 😤
Death is one of her kinks.
Reading this comment before the video wow very excited for the video
Poor Danny Jr. man, he never even got his Beijing Beef 😔
He’s gotta eat
wtf is a Beijing Beef actually is?
@@slushie3061 it do be food
@@guyfrietee6159 now you :) more headache
@@erika-rs3ns Has anyone really decided as to even go that far in wanting to do to look more like so?
The human-human interaction makes me think of NPC to player interaction in games where you leave and come back and the conversation starts over. Or you just walk past or leave while they're talking to you
ikr it reminded me of the sims 4 when you leave a conversation and they start talking again
I love how Dannys reaction to being grabbed by the goblin was moaning, and Kurtis just goes "and second of all Id like what he's having"- this shit has my dying 🤣
Her being pregnant nine months after Danny was eaten by the goblin, and having the belly of a 7-8 months pregnant woman, implies that she slept with the goblin around a month after he ate her husband and step son, damn Sarah is WILD
I knew something was up with her from her moaning “oh god” after seeing the goblin’s hand for the first time
💀💀💀
I mean I get your point & it’s funny to think about, but you know you can’t necessarily tell how far along someone is by how big their stomach is, right? Lol. Obviously if it’s huge it’s safe to say they’re pretty far along, but some people’s stomachs aren’t that big even at the very end of their pregnancy.
LMFAO
@@narcie13 there are normals, and if you're well educated on the subject you can guess and be around right. But people are in fact different and every pregnancy is unique.
@@narcie13 but if you do the maths, babies typically born between the eight almost nine months of pregnancy, if the baby was from danny we can asume that maybe she was a few weeks pregnant so if it's 9 months later the baby should've already born...... if 9 months after danny's death she hasn't had the baby i think we all can come to the conclusion that that is NOT danny's baby 🤨🤨🤨
i firmly believe that in an alternate reality this woman tweeted “there’s a goblin in my garden, nauseous feeling like throwing up /srs” and her mutuals are like “get well soon bestie!!”
HELP THIS COMMENT IS SO UNDERRATED
"vent //
husband is trying to gaslight me into thinking this goblin isnt real :// idk what to do"
the husband tries to ratio her in the replies
@@remy994 the goblin replies to him like "goblin THIS ratio" and ratios him instead
@@HetaClaude “L + counter ratio” and it works
That "I've gotta eat" was so funny. I can't stop replaying it.
We got a new “fish in the mouth”
Same omg
21:37
5:29
@@tupaclives5848 whaaaat fr?
As soon as the timeskip card said "Nine months later" I was like "No, bro! Ain't no fucking way!" It was exactly as I feared.
4:01 referring to a dog barking as "screaming" is the most unintentionally funny thing kurtis has done
I mean, dogs do scream tho...like that extended high pitch yelpy sound you've heard when a dog in a movie is in serious pain
@@jaynenunya6070 still wouldn't consider it a scream tho 😂
I just imagine a tiny dog going: *AAAAAAAAAAAGH OH MY GOD NO*
@@fleabaggins MY LEG
thank you for pointing it out! i laughed sooooo hard
Goblin’s actually a great conversationalist once you get his walls down, which is by feeding him a whole man. Go get it girl!
i love ur pfp bestie
Love ur pfps besties
Goblin deez nuts lmao
i like all your pfps besties (◐∇◐*)
@@tanish4634 yall pfps are immaculate besties
As a film student, this 100% looks like someone’s overly ambitious & metaphor-heavy first feature. They for sure spent half their budget on the goblin CGI because they DEFINITELY didn’t use it to hire trained actors lol
And the CGI still looked like shit💀
@@coralinejones2721 cgi is expensive as fuck. Never a good idea to have the focus of a low budget project be cgi
@@notanagger4861 yeah I know. If they made better choices with their small budget it could have been a decent movie, but instead we get.......whatever the hell that thing was💀
@@No-ue5pi God damnit now I'm imaging a guy painted green taking a massive shit on a lawn
IKR? This feels like the idea of a semi drunk dude who watched The Babadook and said “Hey, maybe I can try that”!
i'm crying because the mum grabs her son to stop him from seeing danny eaten alive and then immediately turns around so the son is watching danny die and she isnt
I noticed that too lmao 😂
The whole “kid drawing weird shit” gave me flashbacks to the counsellors at my summer camp when I was 7 being very concerned about the “violent images” I was drawing. They thought I was like about to stab someone when actually I was just drawing my warrior cat oc lol
HAHAHAHAHAHA SAME BUT WITH KNIVES AND SWORDS BC I HAD A PERCY JACKSON PHASE
this is so ffng funny omg
I mean warriors OCs got kinda… intense. Like, oc maps did exist. So I’m honestly not surprised. Most of the warriors ocs I’ve seen have been covered in blood
Not me elementary school drawing warrior cats mauling each other to death on my math homework
I tried to draw a dragon during my wings of fire obsession in elementary school and my mom thought it was a demon. I was proud of that drawing, too.
this movie is literally a wattpad that was never finished
LMFAOOO
Except the goblin would transform into a hot man
Shrek x Reader
@Do you hear that? XD
@@keepyourshoesathedoor spicey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Disappointed that Kurtis didn’t take the opportunity to note that “Goblin” is kind of a brilliant name for a movie about a great white shark, because he’s “goblin people up” 😂
You’re rightttt OML 😂
*Goblin sharks are the true horror of the ocean-*
Plus it could be about a goblin sharks!
Goblin sharks are scarier than any horror movie
Genius
I will continue to believe that every time Kurtis says "Danny" in this video, he is talking about Danny Gonzalez. And Danny Jr is the nutcracker.
i might be a greg,but when Kurtis says "Danny" i actually think about Danny from Hawaii Five-0
Just realized the cutscene happens 9 months later. She can't be pregnant with her ex's child because she would have already given birth. Which not only implies she fucked the goblin, it implies she fucked the goblin shortly after the events of the rest of the film, right after it murdered her husband and child, since she's clearly very pregnant
she could be overdue or it’s an approximation.
JD level bs
Her ex could've gotten her pregnant right before he died
@@WishGender yea but the implication here is pretty clear
Full term pregnancy is actually 40 weeks, so she could certainly still be pregnant at 9 months. But I do think the implication is still clear.
Kurtis going back & forth between roasting the kid, and talking about how he’s “better now”, is literally so funny
th-cam.com/video/FSSFgWlDbJU/w-d-xo.html…….
Good news, the actor is 19 so old enough to roast
“When it comes to phone cases you either have to choose between looks or protection” Sarah had the same dilemma with men (and she chose protection with goblin)
STOP IT HAHSJJDBSBDBAHFAHHD
sorry but she didn't use protection with that goblin..
@@iamsocks this comment thread is so underrated im dying
if she chose protection then why tf is she pregnant
She chose looks too, you’re just jealous you don’t have a sexy goblin in your life.
the irony of kurtis editing scene-appropriate music for the sketch about an editor who was too lazy to find the right music for his movie is beautiful
Petition for the “oh god” soundbite to become a frequent sound used by Kurtis now
god i wish, its so funny
signed!!
The "what the fuck" at the start too
The kid's drawing that concerned the teacher is so incredibly tame, wow. I had to pause the video from laughing so hard. The kid in the picture is smiling, and the dog looks pretty happy as well. Is this the teacher's way of stirring up shit because she just really wants some drama??
Maybe she sleeping with Danny Sr.
@@beaa.1615 Maybe with Danny Jr. 🤮
Ikr, like it looks like the kid just drew an imaginary friend or he's just into drawing monsters
I like to think she just REALLY wants to be one of those teachers that finds a horror movie drawing and looks for literally anything that might even come close. Like, that's the 5th time she's done this this month
@@ashikjaman1940 isnt he dead
I thought her keeping the goblin as a damn pet was the twist and was already appalled...when she turned around, my jaw hit the floor
I wish I could relive the stomach dropping “9 months later” feeling that I experience the first time watching every time I re-watch this
i searched it on IMDb and found a comment that goes "10/10 I think this film is an instant classic, thanks to Joe Cummings (the guy who plays Danny). A good solid film with a wonderful performance by the Joe Cummings!" which i can only guess was written by Joe Cummings
that name is also *really* fucking unfortunate if joe cummings is like. an actual person and actor in the film
just. joe cummings...
@@ephemeral999 i know he was absolutely roasted everytime they called attendance in highschool
No wonder he moaned like that…
Imagine being called Mr. Cummings 💀
@@ygdoy I could totally see that being a stage name. Perhaps he started out in more adult movies lol
“imagine if the monster was a great white shark” JAWBLIN
Underrated comment
there is such thing as a goblin shark and they're ugly af
Jawblin Deez nuts
@@ashikjaman1940 I was just about to comment that bro
@@ashikjaman1940 😌 about to comment that as well
This movie just gives me motivation to write that book I've always planned to, cause even if I TRIED it wouldn't be possible to write something this bad.
Good luck! I bet it’ll be great
I mean they made horrible movies from Wattpad stories. Might as well go for it!
I thought you were about to say that you've been wanting to write a goblin book where the thing impregnates the main female protagonist at the end....
Watch Troll 2
@@hamingnu6610 a straight version of goblin cave?
I like how the summary says she has to save her son from the abusive stepfather. And yet all the dad does throughout the film is just ignore her and hunt things
Genuinely, I was waiting the whole time for him to be really bad or do something ‘death worthy’ but he only seemed mildly neglectful and less of an ass than a fair number of protagonists
Edit: oh never mind, I guess Kurtis left that out
at the end of the video after the ad-read kurtis says that he left out scenes of the father being abusive because he didn't want the video to be too heavy and he just wanted to goof around, but if you watch the movie there is scenes of him being abusive
Goblin: *eats Sarah's step-son, neighbour and husband*
Sarah: he do be thicc though 😍
The most disturbing part to me is the fact that she’s not even in a relationship with the goblin like it doesn’t live in her house with her it lives in her shed and shits in her yard like a dog
lmfaooooo
LMAO
"I gotta eat"
That goblin got Gonkers
That goblin got Gommy Gilkers
Kurtis, I hope you see this because you didn't seem to notice that Danny's shadow when he was being eaten was a stock human anatomy model and not Danny shaped at all. Complete with circle hands! xD
For a split second, I thought you were talking about Danny Gonzalez and not Danny the character in the Goblin movie
Edit : I'm so sorry for being dumb LMFAOO... Because my brain just automatically think of Danny Gonzalez instead of Danny the character in the movie
@@adyaparamitaputripratama2786 samesies
@@kevinalamo4250 we're on the same page then, bestiee
That shit's hilarious
21:26 :)
When my partner was in kindergarten, apparently their teacher called a meeting with their parents, concerned that they were depressed because they always drew with brown pencil and no other colour. Their mother laughed and told them to explain why they only used brown: because they really liked star wars and brown is the colour of the Ewoks. That was the whole reason.
You heard it hear first folks
Ewoks make you sad :(
I've had a similar story, but my paranoid teacher was concerned with why I only use black pencil. Well, I was just shit at coloring, that's the whole reason, lol
And I'm still shit at it, even though I can draw pretty good rn. I just stick to my black pencils :з
My second grade teacher was concerned on why I drew people being gutted and Monsters eating people.
Never brought it up to my parents though, only other teachers and me.
Fucking legend
had something similar, i only drew with the black pencil, even though i had colored pencils and my paternal grandma freaked the fuck out and told my mother i was gonna grow up a psychopath...... like tf lmao
20:55 that infrared view is wild
It’s not even infrared 😭😭
@@lozercakezIk I was being ironic 💀the background is hotter than the person lmao
I do agree that the trope of kids being like “Oh that guy? He isn’t a serial killer. He gave me this knife. It’s chill.” Doesn’t make any sense, but if done right can be pretty scary. Not in this movie though.
As a kid/pre-teen, I used to overcome my fears by pretending the creepypasta characters I was so terrified of were my friends and very nice to me.
I could only imagine what kind of kid I would be in an actual horror moving, pushing past my fear to befriend the monster that's actually real. I'd probably be dead.
Not a kid, but reminds me of Will Graham lol
Yeah I call bullshit, I'm a teacher of young kids, and I had a six year old that was afraid of *chicks*, the baby chickens not women, or at least I don't think she was afraid of women. Yeah kids are super scared of new things, deadass no way Annabell is making friends with anyone under 12.
Nothing makes me happier than seeing kurtis at the end of a long week
th-cam.com/video/B-E7E9RmuFA/w-d-xo.html
It really was long
Fr. Nothing beats it
and danny:D
Felt
There's this phenomenon I've noticed with films where everyone loves the dog (both in universe and the audience) and really don't want it to die, unless it's a smaller, often pampered lap dog in which case it's open season apparently
Art reflects life
yeah i don't get that, a dogs a dog. if youre making the movie just kill the rich people and not their lap dogs?????
I feel like that’s related to how people will start to feel an attachment to something after some time. And that’s why people don’t care about when a lap dog dying.
And a lot of times, the dog everyone wants to save is a golden retriever. However, there also has to be a build up to make rapport with the dog character, which there was basically none, so you don't get attached to them.
small dogs are evil incarnate though. like dolphins
Dude I avoid movies with animals (especially cats and dogs) because I always fear of them being hurt any way, so the goblin petting the dog REALLY made me have a small anxiety attack😅
I think it’s so funny how the lady sees a small figure run past the door/window and screams and falls over, but her response to an objectively scarier weird ghoulish hand is just a very guttural “oh god”
@Jac I mean she did have a baby with it
the first was fear. the second was arousal
I'm absolutely living for this 80's icon look on you, Kurtis. This is the coolest look you've ever served. Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous that they can't grow a mean stasheroonie.
He does pull it off so well 💜
I agree. Not many people can pull it off, but he certainly does
"the horror movie we're going to be watching is... Dear Evan Hansen" had me on the FLOOR
The musical is SO GOOD and then the movie is just-
Why cant we have nice things.
@@XemeraldXD yeah honestly
I mean, we DID get tap-tap-tapping on the glass
@@brilliantchaos5397 my new favorite cinematic parallel
@@brilliantchaos5397 Okay like I know I left a hate comment about the movie on another comment about this joke but yeah some of the songs kinda slapped
I also did appreciate the choreography in Sincerely, Me even though I knew how fucked it was in the back of my head
15:45 reminded me of a story i heard where some teachers were concerned about this kid cus he kept drawing scary monsters and he was drawing FNAF characters cus it was his favorite game
When the goblin said "It's Goblin Time" I shook in my seat with shivers down my spine, such an incredible movie.
Same, hearing the goblin say ''It's Goblin Time'' then gobbling all over Danny was my favourite part
@@Random-sk6hmHe was gobling danny up
Wait, can I have a time stamp for that? I didn't catch it
@@aghost7721 ohhhh
I was literally pissing and shitting myself when that happened
the “do you have time to talk” interaction is even funnier considering she just told this woman “some guy named danny” picked up her child and then watched her unable to contact the man who supposedly picked her child up from school early. And she’s just like heyyyy girlie, got a min
This movie is very realistic because I’ve never met a Danny who wasnt manipulative
*side-eyes the Gonzalez one*
"the Gonzalez one" 😂
Danny of the Gonzalez variety
@@crystaleunoia3974 the Gonzalez variant isn’t subjective to the Danny breed, there’s also Heathers and Johns.
um???? Fenton????????
@@finn_in_the_bin5263 as much as I love Danny phantom, Danny Fenton was very much manipulative at times
After most of her family died sarah just went
“OMG MOVE IN! YOUR SO COOL”
I wouldn’t think she’d say the Goblin was cool, I think it’d be more like “OH GOD! You’re hot…” and then you have the 9 month timeskip 😕
I audibly said “NO” during that ending reveal, holy fuck I’m in tearssss
Just realized that the ending is nine months after Danny's death to confirm he's not the father
I mean he could still be it they had done it the night before or something
@@ReidTheRulesGuy the suspicious shit is why the fuck that woman is smiling to the goblin?? like ??
@@tanaka4473 cuz it's her baby daddy, DUH
@@Vitasaurus imagine having fuck with the goblin. this is truly a horror movie
It didn’t say nine months to the day. I’ve seen other movies not involving goblins do the same thing with a husband dying and the wife is pregnant 9 months later. I think they just default to 9 months cause they know the audience knows that usually means someone is pregnant.
the clip of the dad farting and pissing right after his son gets eaten has me in tears oh my god
Were those sound effects actually in the "movie"?!
@@saorise28 yes
I haven’t watched it yet and I’m scared now 👁👄👁
@@hilary8533 it’s not scary, don’t worry !! the effects are bad so it’s more funny than scary