Watch the full season of FIRSTHAND: Living in Poverty: th-cam.com/video/-XYTIuHE2gc/w-d-xo.html And watch the entire FIRSTHAND series: www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLs3qXjCE-VeQ6tn6Lc2_fMiaYSc-DKxnG&index=1
You can do this. I was a single Mum of two young kids and I did a university degree online and I started that at age 40. I am now a Youth Counsellor, in a very well paid job and also studying my Master of Social Work. You can absolutely do this. Don't put yourself down. Go for it. Just go for it.
Im 43 seriously the only thing i ever wanted more then my children was to ve a youth counselor, i wish i had the courage you did to start over this late!!
@@melissafonseca4399 I returned to education in my 40’s and gained a BA in English then a Social Work MA. I’m retired now but worked for twenty years as a Child Protection Social Worker earning a good salary. Just do it, don’t let anything put you off. I had to drive sixty miles each way to undertake the MA for two years and although it seemed daunting at the start I did it whilst working part time. Good luck xx
People need to understand, your mental health effects and impacts every part of your life. If you grow up in the hood you have so many things telling you, you can't do it. You won't make it. You will fail. I thank God and the ppl in my life for helping me make it. Helping me do better.
She has the ppl encouraging her she has to believe in herself that she can do it shes her biggest obstacle before any other hardship once she conquers that she can proceed onto the next step
I grew up in the hood I'm raising two kids on my own I can't afford fake nails fake lashes matching sweat suits she's not a victim she's an idiot who can't manage her money
@@melissafonseca4399 no I put my kids first your a welfare recipient I'm sure if you could manage your shit the taxpayers wouldn't have to feed you kids and provide insurance so you can have these amenities
I'm African American, with a Master's degree, a great career and a side business and I sit at restaurants for hours, enjoy wine tastings and art museums, own a passport, travel domestically and internationally very often and do not see myself as inferior to anyone. The fact that she sees another group of people as "better" than her is heartbreaking. Never allow your race or gender to hold you back. The only thing that holds us back as women is having babies too early, before we're prepared, getting involved with the wrong men and low self confidence. My mom worked as a CNA, when I was a kid, but she went back to school to become a therapist and I followed in her footsteps. You can do anything you put your mind to. Take advice from Nike and just do it! 😉
@D S R so what! This is her style, maybe people say the same thing about your style you just don't hear them. She walks with confidence and looks great! That was your opinion and this is mine.
@@JN-up4fi I'm criticising her, just the fact that she even had to mention the fact she is black. Shouldn't have to be so. Am I making sense, I could have worded it better.
@@1972dsrai You’re clearly lost because it’s been statistically proven that BW are the most educated in the U.S. Its easy to find the statistics but I guess it’s easier for you to spread false narratives.
I am so glad she is no longer estranged from her mother. They seem like a great support system for each other. I believe she has the support from her family and friends to make her dreams happen. I am rooting for her and her beautiful family.
You got this Melissa. I'm rooting for you. I'm 33, married, 2 kids, and I work and go to school. You can do it beautiful and yes you are SMART ENOUGH 💋🥰
She's been at Walgreens for nearly 20 years, she can take Salesforce certification courses and parlay that into inventory management either with them or a different company. Certifications open alot of doors
Exactly. Learn Salesforce or even an ERP or Accounting system. Many of them integrate with Salesforce. I'm a Netsuite Software Consultant and many of my customers use Saleforce, it's a well known system with plenty of employers out there looking for people with knowledge of it. You don't even need experience as long as you're familiar with it, the rest they train you on internally. I hope she doesn't end up doing a course on Excel or Word thinking that will get her a great job. From London, UK
@@110311DONTWANTCHANNE people and circumstances are different. And when your people were literally slaves a few generations back (his grandpa's grandma is a slave) you'd get that mentality. Not her fault tbh
@@110311DONTWANTCHANNE haven't encountered a lot of trauma victims, have you? I take it youre not a psychiatrist 😂 mentality is not black and white. Even in this case, her upbringing in this community molded her to think this way.
One of the things that helped me with my self esteem is that I never thought my parents were stupid. If my parents are smart then so am I. If your mother can go back to school then so can you because you are her daughter!
Feel like she’s trying to find a way to talk herself out of furthering her education. Sounds like Melissa is afraid of failing. Just go for it girl. You’d be so proud of yourself and what you achieve.
And her kids are probably picking up on that because she seems to be very open with her self esteem. So if you're not positive on life, the kids are probably going to feel that way too.
@@cheryllunn2827 condoms are so affordable you can get them for free if you know where to look. And sorry she lost sympathy from me after kid 2. She’s not making smart choices with the men she’s sleeping with if they aren’t around anymore.
She has alot of negative self talk and trauma. As a person of color who grew up poor, I focus on telling myself I can do what white ppl can do too. There is alot of systemic racism and racist ppl but at the end of the day, I need to nurture my own self talk. I hope she gets healing and hope.
There is ALWAYS death, disease, apathy, and destruction in this world. There is also ALWAYS love, happiness, hope, and kindness. What you see is merely a reflection of your inner world. Most have little control over external variables but you have 100% control over how you see and respond to reality.
@Tim W don't compare yourself to ANYONE. Success, fulfillment, happiness, abundance are internal states of being. We all face adversity - for without it, growth is not possible. How you handle and grow from adversity determines success. Material & external wealth are socially conditioned into us as being "success" but they're not. And today you may have everything but tomorrow the universe may burn it all down & strip it away - completely out of your control. So if you wish to compare yourself, only compare yourself to the man you were yesterday.
@Tim W ha thanks! The universe began kicking my ass into alignment in 2017 so I'm just a spiritual infant - so many lessons to learn & things to work on. I just try to add a bit of perspective to platforms that seem to be overwhelmed with trolls. Very much appreciate your comment - gave me a good chuckle. Have a great weekend!
I’m brown and I was able to slowly slip away from poverty. It sucks that she assumes black/brown folks can’t afford to dine at nice restaurants. Her mom is right tho..and I do understand where Melissa is coming from at the same time.
She feel that way because she only see black and brown people not being able to do those things. If she lived around different people she would know that it's not that way. It would be that way from a white person's perspective also because that's who they're around.
I was unable to finish college due to having a child at a young age, this was a wakeup call for me to take education seriously. I took several computer classes at a technical school and I worked my way up to having a great career. Never give up. You’ve got this 😊👏👏👏👏
children are extremely expensive now almost a luxury. I can't imagine having that many kids. Alot of women even with a " career" can barely make enough child care which is 2-3k per child where i live and nanny makes 25 dollar an hr. My husband and I can only afford one child and we make decent income. We literately can't afford a second child. There are many poor white and even Asian people. Poverty exist in every country and color
Wow! I’m Latina, grew up in a big city in the hood, in poverty. Never really had great opportunities, single parent household that didn’t care and I ended up pregnant at 17! Had to get a GED. But guess what? Because I didn’t have a “victim” mentality nor felt inferior to anyone I always knew I could do better for myself and I made my life a better one! Actually, a great one. Because this country is a place of opportunity for EVERYONE, as long as we don’t allow ourselves to become psychologically enslaved as inferior to the rest. No one should think that they have lesser opportunities than others, you just have to want it enough!
Omg, I can’t agree with you more . Thank you so much for speaking out . Not gonna lie, sort pissing me off that she keeps on saying Caucasians, like something wrong with being that race. And I am not Caucasian lol. I respect people who works hard and not always think that they are the victim. Home girl needs to grow up, and stop having so many kids. And I am sure me and your tax are paying for her needs too. I am more than happy to help anyone who needs help, however not someone who is just blaming everyone else, but not herself. And yes it’s not easy to go back to college, no one is putting up the wall, but herself. I do admire her mom though, that woman is dope...
She said "I found out I was pregnant". Looking into family planning and how women decide to use or forgo contraception is a extremely important discussion to have attempting to forge social and economic policies around poverty and social mobility. The woman worked for 16 years at Walgreens with shelves stocked with contraceptives and she is a single mother with four children and no one is pointing out to it? She has a teen daughter and son and keeps pointing out to schooling never mentioning pregnancy prevention she has taken for her children to prevent following her example.
I agree. If having a child signaled the time, when you had to change what felt like the right course, why would you continue to have more children, nonetheless fatherless? 🤔 - 30 something female with no children
That's true my mother did the same and earned her bachelor's at 53 yrs old my grandmother returned when she was over 35 received her associates and bachelor's and became a social worker so it can be done she has to be willing to be more than her excuses
Same! I got my BA at 29 I have 3 children who were 6, 5, 3 at the time. Took 9 years, and some semesters I could only take one class per semester. Lots of set backs along the way but I never let anything stop me. You have to just stick to it and focus on the prize.
You can see how race obsessed America is. She automatically said white=money, as if white people can never be poor. Kind of ignorent if you ask me. The new neighbourhood seems cleaner and more life is there, ie more opportunity but they were obsessed with them being 'white' as a bad thing more then anything else. What a weird country.
@@mydogsteppedona4431 gentrification affect the poor and pocs the most we knew there was poor white people and still asked as black children why they still stereotype us read a book baby u need help
@@DWTFfilms no baby, you need help. Make sure your kids grow up being proud of their country and loving everyone regardless of race or religion. That's not so hard to do, history is there to learn from not to repeat.
Life is about choices and some choices have life long consequences. Having children and not getting a college degree are deeply impactful. Keeps you in a cycle of debt, poverty, and stagnant wages
Lots of college grads are working minimum wage jobs. We need more tradesman. Plumbers, electricians, ect most now are fifty + years old. We need apprenticeship programs to teach our youth and retrain all those people with college degrees that are working for minimum wage.
I don’t agree at all about the degree part. My husband and I are self employed entrepreneurs with no college degrees. My mother recently pointed out to me, when I was complaining about how exhausting it’s been building my own business, that I’m doing better financially than my sister and her husband with college degrees. It’s drive. It’s being savvy. It’s never giving up. It’s seeing outside “the box”, and thinking for yourself. The internet and opportunity associated has opened up the world.
if you want to lift yourself out of poverty stop having kids before you have seized every opportunity to lift yourself up into a better financial situation. Giving women access to birth control, healthcare and education is key to solving poverty.
Why don't the government look out for the people. No it is for the rich folk. No matter if she have kids. What about give train of thought as to how would you feel. Nobody has a huge savings before having kids. You may have money but you can also fo broke hungry and homeless. Remember some vets that fought to five as they call freedom. They are hungry living in poverty and homeless. So no matter what we stuck we got no way to turn. No 8 or 9 an hour job pays all the bills..
Financial aid won’t pay for one class at a time. You have to meet a minimum requirement to get assistance with funding for school. If she did your plan she would have to pay out of pocket per credit.
Can it be both? It would be very hard for her to go to school. It would take a lot of determination and reserves of faith in herself. Lots of people could do more, if we had a more supportive system.
@Benji Nnin How do you know? Maybe if she had decent healthcare and access to affordable birth control it may have been different. Get off your high horse. And try a little compassion and empathy, although I'm sure those are strange words to you.
One of the best ways to break the cycle of poverty is education. Having someone who can encourage you to reach for higher things and guide you is essential. So much of the belief that there is nothing else that can be done to better ones situation comes from not knowing how access resources. A lot of people like to say "well you have the internet with all the information you need". Yes, that true but it's truer that you don't know what you don't know.
She has it really hard, but her mom came from a humble background as well. The difference is the father in the house. Girls, try not to have kids with different fathers under any circumstances. No matter the race or background
Yes this, I loved hearing her mother was from Mississippi as I am.a lot of African Americans families came from the South. I don't know why some black ppl don't like to claim their Southern roots. We have a lot of ppl coming to Tennessee, the Carolinas, Georgia and Florida and even Alabama due to the big city no longer being affordable. If you can take the humidity, it's opportunities here and cost of living so much better. I would not recommend Texas. I call Texas little California now. Texas is getting crazy out of all the Southern states. My moms family have 5 generations of them out there mixed with Mexicano
!!! Getting pregnant when you’re not ready can ruin your life especially since the woman is the one that has to bear most of the burden. Men will knock you up and leave you to suffer so it’s crucial to hold out for the right person for both yours and your future kids sakes
Ok I’m going to say something. Most people like 99.9999% of people on welfare, living in so-called “hoods” and in the projects are really good hearted people. It’s the .0001% of the people getting in trouble and into gangs etc. who make it bad for everyone with the shootings and other stuff. Black and Hispanic and Island and other people Of color (Bengali, Indian, Bangladeshi, etc.) who live in these neighborhoods are all who I call “new immigrants”. If you take the time to drive through the neighborhoods where they own homes you will see some beautiful homes and people who are proud to be here and have a great work ethic. Generalizing these poor people into “lazy” and “poor” and this and that just because they may dress different and look different is the SAME STUFF that happened to the “white” people (Irish, Italian, Jewish) you see in the “gentrified” neighborhoods. My Italian family lived in one room on the lower east side of Manhattan and people spit on them and called them “dago” and made fun of them and their ways too. It’s very ignorant that people don’t want to get to know others and their cultures and food and are afraid. Stop being afraid of others, you will learn from them!
Melissa You can do it. I had 5 Children who are now All Adults. I worked 2 jobs while going to School and I went for Criminal Justice. However Ministry & Non-Profit is my Purpose Lane I’m passionate bcuz it’s His will. Continue to Push and You Can and will achieve Your Goals. 🙌🏽🙌🏽
I was 24 with 2 boys and had just kicked my abusive ex out who was the sole provider. I was 1 month behind on rent with no job. I begged Autozone to hire me. I knew I had a passion for cars so this seemed like an excellent fit for me. A year later, I met my now husband delivering car parts to his shop. I asked to apprentice at his shop and his manager had him train me. We fell in love, started a mobile mechanic business, and make 6 figures just 4 years later. If someone had told my 24 year old self that in 5 short years I would be married to a great man, running a successful mechanic business and just about to buy my first house, I would have fainted. It can be done. Don’t settle.
To beatiful people struggling in poverty just know you are not alone and we all need support and help one another and let's rise and I hope nothing but love peace and healing and success and good health to all
It took me forever to finish school. I have B.A. in Sociology (21yrs post H.S.)...Melissa it's done! You're diploma has your name on it already! Go get it!!
Melissa is not satisfied with her job and her economic situation so I hope she can figure out a plan for a new career. It might be helpful to visit a career counselor to help you figure out what a good career path would be for you that would also help to lift you out of poverty. You are a smart and capable woman, you just need to believe in yourself. I think it’s overwhelming because of the needs of your family but just take a few courses at a time until you can earn a degree.
She admits that gentrification got rid of the gangs….crime dropped. I don’t think all of the Caucasians are judging her - but they do notice her skin tight cheetah suit. Of course people judge others all the time. However she’s also judging the Caucasians, making a lot of assumptions and stereotyping them just like she thinks they’re stereotyping her. But seriously I respect anyone that puts in 16 years at Walgreens-no joke. So many missing fathers!!!
She herself is a white Hispanic so her logic about race makes no sense. People probably wonders why she has a bunch of “Black” really Biracial kids ALONE! That’s a lot of kids!
Yeah, but her mom's youngest then was the age of her oldest now. May take her till Jayson is 17, cause she would never see him and the others working and taking classes now.
@@michaelleary9233 my mom went back to school for her hs diploma first and then her college. When we went to bed at 8-9 pm she hit the books or she slept and then got up at 4am to study till 6 am when we got up. Melissa can get her first year free through ModernStates.org. This uses CLEP testing and avoids classrooms, transportation, textbooks and fees. They even give you a voucher to take the test for free. Community colleges accept 33+ CLEP credits. This will then allow her to just start her Sophomore year without ACT/SAT and other entry testing. There are a lot of 2yr degrees that offer entry level jobs like pharmacy technician. That’s a 5,000+yr pay raise and more if she gets a hospital job. The hospitals pay about $45-55k to start. That would double her income.
I'm white and moved into a prominently black, lower income, neighborhood. Honestly I love it more than most white neighborhoods. You have conversations with people who walk past your porch, everyone looks out for everyone else, and nobody cares what you do as long as it doesn't effect them. Plus I love how the neighborhood kids just run around playing and having a good time. It feels like how neighborhoods should really be.
This is how it was when I lived in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood. Where we lived was considered a "bad area" but I always walked home at night and never felt unsafe and everyone was friendly and we all knew who lived there.
I hope she stops having a pity party and doubting herself! She is so blessed and has an amazing support system. She can take online classes at night and earn a degree or certification. I pray she is doing better and understand that there are a lot of black and brown ppl doing it big out here at a all time high! We can’t be stopped and neither can she if she believes! ✨💕
Honey don't you pay no attention to the negative comments. You got this You can do this. I admire you for your strength and attitude in the face of adversity. God Bless you.
Prayers and love to Melissa. It is hard to be a mother. She did well with 4. Without her, her family would have fallen apart, kids fostered out or worse. Now, she can do even better not just for herself but for her kids by getting an education and getting a better paying job. You can do it gal!
Not for nothing lady, I'm Caucasian and I can't afford to live in those buildings !(the same thing is happening in my city) And the only way I'm judging you and your 4 kids is if they are filthy(not dirty from playing) or you are abusive to them !!!
She’s a beautiful woman, and a great mama. I grew up on section 8, with a single mom, who made me and my brother go to school and get an education. I don’t even have kids and it’s hard out here. So try not to beat yourself up. But 1 thing she did say that was true was breaking these generational curses, because these type of situations get passed down until somebody stop it. God bless you lady and anyone out there going through the struggle 💕🙏🏾.
Girl you can do it, stop making excuses. I had 2 kids, did 18 hr school per semester , worked 2 jobs, I kept a 4.0 grade average. I studied late at night when the kids were in bed. It was hard but by the grace of God i was determined. I never had government assist with nothing. I made a dollar too much.!!!!!!!! That was hurtful but I did it. Now today I own my own business and doing well. I work from home.
That’s awesome I’ve recently become a stay at home mom with a Criminal justice degree I’m now realizing I wanna do other things life is crazy we just have to keep going
I know life is hard but the lord will bless you cause your doing whats right and your children will break thru and be blessed you will see god bless you and your children
Yes Melissa, I know it's a bit off topic, but I'm so glad that she brought up the fact that black & brown folks used to get along a lot better back in the day compared to these days. So sad that there is now a divide amongst us.
I’m genuinely curious about what the Caucasian ppl moving into her neighborhood have anything to do with HER SITUATION. Any single mother, regardless of race, isn’t going to have it easy! She’s a mother of 4 at that!! That’s a situation she made on her OWN 17 yrs before the neighborhood changed. Sounds like for the better and is safer. They aren’t challenging her job security nor have they kept her from moving up to a higher position. She’s likely just intimidated by ppl that she see’s in a better way than her and I totally get it! But SHE has the power to change her life and only her!! Nobody is keeping her at that job with lack of education but her lack of confidence in herself. Maybe she hasn’t made the smartest decisions in the past but she’s WORTHY and so are her kiddos!! Her parents clearly worked HARD for everything they have and wanted the generational curse to end at them. It’s probably safe to say her and mom didn’t speak for that period of time bc they weren’t happy w/ her life choices. She can take online classes at night even if it takes her years!! The negative self view is what hurts to see. Therapy would really help her. I’m rooting for her!
Stop taking offense to what is true. Your people are rude and racist more than any other Race. You took everything for decades and made wealth off of it. She has a right to feel that way.
Mallory you will never know or experience the difference because you’re white so don’t take offense to it you should be thankful for your white privilege keep
You’re white, i don’t expect you to fully understand because you can’t experience things the way we do. Gentrification has a HUGE affect on people of color.
Are you that dense. Throughout the entire documentary there was talk about gentrification meaning everything including rent goes up! She’s basically saying gentrification has made it to where she can barely afford to provide the basic necessities for her children.
She could become a cosometologist! They make decent money. I used that to pay for most of my school also I’m going back to school to be an LVN which is 1 year and they pay over 20 an hour. Nurses are always needed! She could go to a community college
Get your RN. LVN/LPN are being phased out in nursing fast. I know that some community colleges aren't even offering those types of degrees anymore. You can get an R.N. just as fast, 2 yrs, and get paid more than an LVN/LPN, anyway. Don't sell your short love!
@@Nille0212 LPNs are not being phased out. Job growth for LPNs is above average. Phased out in hospitals doesn't mean phased out of existence. Super easy to get a job as an LPN at decent pay.
The biggest problem she has is that she lost hope. If she has hope she’ll have the drive to continue. It’s not going to be easy but it’s certainly not impossible.
She does have a lot of negativities in her self reflection and she needs to realistically go to school to better her life and get to the next step! I had to do it! I know she can too!
Melissa, it’s never too late as long as you live. My mom is a single mom and had to raise me and brother all by herself and could barely make it when it came to the bills and food. She started looking for better jobs and got one (she only has high school diploma), she worked a few years at the new job but got sick of it and the minimum wage. She’s now studying to become a nurse. It is neeeever too late to start studying again! You can do this.
I don't think people understand how segregated Chicago really is. Still. There are areas that white people would NEVER step foot in. But I see that's changing.
This woman's situation is tough. She is a strong woman to provide for her family in the way she does. And to consider going back to school while working and raising a family is so brave! I hope she gains the confidence to try it. Even if it's one class at a time. Her mom is a wise woman. I hope she takes her advice. But it's sad to me how she assumes having light skin is some kind of magic, and it makes all your problems disappear. There are plenty of people of all skin colors struggling to pay bills. We've got to stop assuming things about each other, or we'll never come together as a society.
If you can put 16 years into someone else's dream, you can definitely put at least two years into your own. Being a mother, especially a single mother, should PUSH you! You are not only responsible for your own life and dreams, how you live your life and push for your dreams will reflect on whether or not your children strive to achieve their own dreams too. She's too comfortable where she is at. All she knows is poverty, and she doesn't have to work to come out of it... she needs to want more for herself... with the current economy, she better want more.
What you see is PEACE BOO!!! I love my community. Real Joggers, Educated, Nice Dogs, Quiet, Father's in the home. The Caucasian comment was racist!!! You don't feel they are friendly because your judging them. I'm so glad as a Black Wife and Mother I was raised without ignorance. Who wants to live in a gang infested neighborhood? Who wants to live near trap houses 🤦🏿♀️
I see she have alot of self doubts just like any other human being but just from me watching this I see a very bright women she just need to just go for it and take that leap cause you won't know unless you try it YOU GOT THIS QUEEN 👑
I know she can do this!! Before I got really sick I was doing the damn thing. I was working full time, did Ubereats part time, going to the gym 3-4 days a week, college part time plus I’m a dialysis patient. And at the time I was going to dialysis 3 days a week. So if I can do all that then I think anyone can accomplish anything they want! 😊
This WM is on welfare, with children she can't afford, a dead end job and no education. What makes her strong and amazing? Please explain this. Y'all say anything. She is literally doing nothing to make her stand out from any other struggling single mother but you felt the need to praise her. If people like you would stop uplifting WM like her for doing absolutely nothing... Nevermind...
Poverty is not colored blind , I can't believe she never saw a poor white family , there are many,,that sentence shocked me,,.i do really good she does well in school she can do this,,it will help her grow as a person,,time will fly by anyway you might as well go to school.....her mom is a great lady and I am glad they are back in touch,,she will help Melissa get her schooloing
I had to take a moment, pause the video and pray for this woman and her children. All will work out for the best in due time. The amount of loyalty she displays with that retailer I’m certain a well paying company would be appreciative to have her in the future. There’s so many great programs such as LPN, Phlebotomy, etc that take about a year to complete and would allow her to be make great money. I’m talking $26/Hr. She know what’s best for her and her family I could only hope she finds courage deep within and allow faith to carry her through. ❤️
All Caucasians do not have it easy, I struggled as a single mom of four race doesn't always label your hard times, I raised my kids with God's good grace. Thank you for sharing your story, praying for you and your family! God bless!!!
Any white person that “has it hard” is probably very lazy. There’s a reason why WP utilize welfare the most and WW use Affirmative Action more than anyone else. They get to be mediocre and get hired in Senior Management positions with high school diplomas. All they need to do is network. Everyone else needs to have multiple degrees. I’ve seen it too many times.
Wait her dad was outside with her? He sure as hell made sure he was safe. But didn't protect his 12 year old daughter by making sure she ran in the house first.
She has an expensive weave, nails and designer bag. You know she gets EBT cause of those kids. Some people just love to complain. Back in the day, nobody complained about being poor because we had something that she knows nothing about. It's called self-respect!
My daughter is doing it. She works 40 hours a week, has 2 kids, her own home, and this last semester took 24 credited hours. She got straight A's! She was a teen mom, and everyone said she wasn't going to amount to anything! She got her GED in 4 weeks and was the youngest person to enroll at our local college. She had just turned 16 2 weeks prior to enrolling. I always talked to her and told her that her education was the only thing that no one could ever take away from her and she ran with it. She's 25 now and still working and going to college, working on her bachelor's degree. Yes it's taken her longer but no one is ever going to stop her from fulfilling her dreams!
I'm amazed at that stereotype she made about whites as if whites always have it easy. That's not true at all. They usually just make different decisions and that relies heavily on culture but I can guarantee that there are many white folks that have it rough. Secondly this fixation she has with some delusional perception of how whites live coupled with her mothers failure to set a good example at finding men who can take care of their children I think is primary reason she is in this predicament. Up till today we only hear of the mothers struggles with going back to school and having it pay off but we have yet to hear of what her father did to take care of his children. Even in Part 1 we see how she got govt assisted housing which was based on her mom getting that unit and nowhere did we see her father have any part in it. Then we have intergenerational issues at play here. Her mom never knew her father and then being put in the foster care system to then her finding this Puerto Rican man that couldn't do much for her except help her make 6 children so he could get his citizenship / residency but still the whole family ends up homeless at once stage is just ripe for generational trauma. Even when she got shot at 12 her father tried to run in the house before making sure he found his children were ok. I'm so sick and tired of bw being the mules of the black community and normalising this low standard of living. Her lack of self confidence comes from her living a lie. She doesn't have a proper reference point to determine what is dysfunctional and what isn't. She glorifies her dad who was 25% a parent, was mad at her mom who most likely was telling her a truth she didn't want to hear, finds herself laying up with useless bm because most likely she liked the attention of being the light skinned prize until they pumped and dumped. Her mother is telling her take one class and yet she is making excuses. She makes poor choices and lacks confidence and is hung up on how she thinks white people see her yet she does nothing to change people's perceived opinions of her. Yes her style of dress is terrible. She sees herself as a low person and acts accordingly and that's all her fault.
Go to Lewiston Maine and go to the projects there! PLENTY of WHITES displaced and POOR POOR POOR! BESIDES the THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of Somalian they took STRAIGHT to Portland and Lewiston and put them STRAIGHT into the system! It is CRAZY!
I think Melissa and her Mother should learn to give themselves more credit for the hard work they've put in to this life. They may not be rich but they have grown and over come so much. Melissa you can accomplish many goals. Believe in yourself, you can do it. Success on many levels is within us all, I pray that we all get to see our beautiful dreams come to reality.
It’s a poverty mentality. My ex had a lot of opportunities to go back to school when we were together but I guess he thought the gravy train would never run out. 😂 He still works a low wage job and no education. 🤷♀️ And he has no one to blame but himself even though all he does is make excuses. No ambition. Just so glad he’s out of my life. I have actual savings for the first time in my life bc he can’t financially abuse me and my child any longer. Karma
She needs help to break out of that survival mindset. There are so many opportunities right in front of her that she can't see. Everyone has gifts and talents. Melissa does too but she just can't believe in herself. Melissa you are talented and worth more than 13$ an hour! Start listing out your talents and ask yourself how could you make money using them. Even taking a server job at one of those fancy restaurants could potentially bring more than 13$ in wages. I realize some of what may hold her back is loss of benefits (rent assistance, childcare etc.) but I hope she finds a way to break free of this poverty trap.
I feel like she's making excuses. I went to school full time and worked 3 part time jobs, and commuted to school/work on public transportation. You can do it if you put your mind to it. It isn't easy. I had many restless and sleepless nights but I did it. You can too! Believe in yourself! There's college counselors who can give you and show you the way.
I disagree with some of her decisions but I wholeheartedly and genuinely hope she has overcome her fear with going back to school. Girl you got this. You can do it. Please believe in yourself. Everything you’ve been through, you’ve survived. All your hard work will pay off. 👏🏾
Watch the full season of FIRSTHAND: Living in Poverty: th-cam.com/video/-XYTIuHE2gc/w-d-xo.html
And watch the entire FIRSTHAND series: www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLs3qXjCE-VeQ6tn6Lc2_fMiaYSc-DKxnG&index=1
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You can do this. I was a single Mum of two young kids and I did a university degree online and I started that at age 40. I am now a Youth Counsellor, in a very well paid job and also studying my Master of Social Work. You can absolutely do this. Don't put yourself down. Go for it. Just go for it.
Yes I did it as well. Education is the only way to get out of poverty. Determination is a key. She can do it just like us if she really wants to.
Im 43 seriously the only thing i ever wanted more then my children was to ve a youth counselor, i wish i had the courage you did to start over this late!!
Congratulations 👏 and yes I am planning on attending this fall. Thank you 😊
@@melissafonseca4399 I returned to education in my 40’s and gained a BA in English then a Social Work MA. I’m retired now but worked for twenty years as a Child Protection Social Worker earning a good salary. Just do it, don’t let anything put you off. I had to drive sixty miles each way to undertake the MA for two years and although it seemed daunting at the start I did it whilst working part time. Good luck xx
Wow thank you i need this
People need to understand, your mental health effects and impacts every part of your life. If you grow up in the hood you have so many things telling you, you can't do it. You won't make it. You will fail. I thank God and the ppl in my life for helping me make it. Helping me do better.
She has the ppl encouraging her she has to believe in herself that she can do it shes her biggest obstacle before any other hardship once she conquers that she can proceed onto the next step
Who cares
I grew up in the hood I'm raising two kids on my own I can't afford fake nails fake lashes matching sweat suits she's not a victim she's an idiot who can't manage her money
@@melissafonseca4399 no I put my kids first your a welfare recipient I'm sure if you could manage your shit the taxpayers wouldn't have to feed you kids and provide insurance so you can have these amenities
@@meeeeeee-uz1im Damn girl you’re angry. You’re a baby mama too don’t get it twisted.
Never give up. Never surrender. Anyone reading this just know YOU CAN DO THIS.
Thank you 🙌🏾‼
I hope everyone has a great week!! Be strong and keep your heads heald high.
I needed this
Needed this!!
Thank you 😊
I'm African American, with a Master's degree, a great career and a side business and I sit at restaurants for hours, enjoy wine tastings and art museums, own a passport, travel domestically and internationally very often and do not see myself as inferior to anyone. The fact that she sees another group of people as "better" than her is heartbreaking. Never allow your race or gender to hold you back. The only thing that holds us back as women is having babies too early, before we're prepared, getting involved with the wrong men and low self confidence. My mom worked as a CNA, when I was a kid, but she went back to school to become a therapist and I followed in her footsteps. You can do anything you put your mind to. Take advice from Nike and just do it! 😉
Leopard print, seriously? She's just asking for people to look down on her. First impressions matter and thats not the best look, is it? London, UK
@D S R so what! This is her style, maybe people say the same thing about your style you just don't hear them. She walks with confidence and looks great! That was your opinion and this is mine.
@@JN-up4fi I'm criticising her, just the fact that she even had to mention the fact she is black. Shouldn't have to be so. Am I making sense, I could have worded it better.
@@JN-up4fi Fair enough
@@1972dsrai You’re clearly lost because it’s been statistically proven that BW are the most educated in the U.S. Its easy to find the statistics but I guess it’s easier for you to spread false narratives.
I am so glad she is no longer estranged from her mother. They seem like a great support system for each other. I believe she has the support from her family and friends to make her dreams happen. I am rooting for her and her beautiful family.
You got this Melissa. I'm rooting for you. I'm 33, married, 2 kids, and I work and go to school. You can do it beautiful and yes you are SMART ENOUGH 💋🥰
Thanks 😊
She's been at Walgreens for nearly 20 years, she can take Salesforce certification courses and parlay that into inventory management either with them or a different company. Certifications open alot of doors
super advice
Exactly. Learn Salesforce or even an ERP or Accounting system. Many of them integrate with Salesforce. I'm a Netsuite Software Consultant and many of my customers use Saleforce, it's a well known system with plenty of employers out there looking for people with knowledge of it. You don't even need experience as long as you're familiar with it, the rest they train you on internally. I hope she doesn't end up doing a course on Excel or Word thinking that will get her a great job. From London, UK
She should have been a manager by now. Choices.
And stop being a victim? No, way. Good advice but that is not what some people want to hear.
Tell me more...
The trauma of being shot when she was young is so unbearably tragic and she is still here and living.
I was almost murdered at 10...i'm white, the assailant was white...we were in the suburbs.....i didn't play victim.
@@110311DONTWANTCHANNE people and circumstances are different. And when your people were literally slaves a few generations back (his grandpa's grandma is a slave) you'd get that mentality. Not her fault tbh
@@sergiorenatoreyes6967 your own mentality is your own fault...and grandpa's grandma is 4 generations ago.
@@110311DONTWANTCHANNE haven't encountered a lot of trauma victims, have you? I take it youre not a psychiatrist 😂 mentality is not black and white. Even in this case, her upbringing in this community molded her to think this way.
One of the things that helped me with my self esteem is that I never thought my parents were stupid. If my parents are smart then so am I. If your mother can go back to school then so can you because you are her daughter!
Excellent point!
Feel like she’s trying to find a way to talk herself out of furthering her education.
Sounds like Melissa is afraid of failing.
Just go for it girl.
You’d be so proud of yourself and what you achieve.
Sounds like she's looking for excuses
I hope this young lady doesn't let her fear of failure continue to hold her back.
It's so sad how discouraged she is, she has no hope. She needs hope
she needed to make better choices
And her kids are probably picking up on that because she seems to be very open with her self esteem. So if you're not positive on life, the kids are probably going to feel that way too.
Might help if she stop having kids
@@DeadAir21 Might help if she had decent healthcare and affordable birth control. And you could use some compassion and empathy.
@@cheryllunn2827 condoms are so affordable you can get them for free if you know where to look. And sorry she lost sympathy from me after kid 2. She’s not making smart choices with the men she’s sleeping with if they aren’t around anymore.
She has alot of negative self talk and trauma. As a person of color who grew up poor, I focus on telling myself I can do what white ppl can do too. There is alot of systemic racism and racist ppl but at the end of the day, I need to nurture my own self talk.
I hope she gets healing and hope.
This comment!!
There is ALWAYS death, disease, apathy, and destruction in this world. There is also ALWAYS love, happiness, hope, and kindness. What you see is merely a reflection of your inner world. Most have little control over external variables but you have 100% control over how you see and respond to reality.
@Tim W don't compare yourself to ANYONE. Success, fulfillment, happiness, abundance are internal states of being. We all face adversity - for without it, growth is not possible. How you handle and grow from adversity determines success. Material & external wealth are socially conditioned into us as being "success" but they're not. And today you may have everything but tomorrow the universe may burn it all down & strip it away - completely out of your control. So if you wish to compare yourself, only compare yourself to the man you were yesterday.
@Tim W ha thanks! The universe began kicking my ass into alignment in 2017 so I'm just a spiritual infant - so many lessons to learn & things to work on. I just try to add a bit of perspective to platforms that seem to be overwhelmed with trolls.
Very much appreciate your comment - gave me a good chuckle. Have a great weekend!
Did you not hear her racist ass talking trash about caucasians?
I’m brown and I was able to slowly slip away from poverty. It sucks that she assumes black/brown folks can’t afford to dine at nice restaurants. Her mom is right tho..and I do understand where Melissa is coming from at the same time.
👍Your attitude and mindset is what matters. I grew up on the south side of Chicago.
She feel that way because she only see black and brown people not being able to do those things. If she lived around different people she would know that it's not that way. It would be that way from a white person's perspective also because that's who they're around.
People who are out having a good time in nice restaurants may be racking up credit card debt. All that glitters is not gold.
Thaz her world
You mean Tan. My people are brown but you call us Black. We're not Black.
I was unable to finish college due to having a child at a young age, this was a wakeup call for me to take education seriously. I took several computer classes at a technical school and I worked my way up to having a great career. Never give up. You’ve got this 😊👏👏👏👏
children are extremely expensive now almost a luxury. I can't imagine having that many kids. Alot of women even with a " career" can barely make enough child care which is 2-3k per child where i live and nanny makes 25 dollar an hr. My husband and I can only afford one child and we make decent income. We literately can't afford a second child. There are many poor white and even Asian people. Poverty exist in every country and color
Yes. Having kids is definitely not something I can afford anytime soon. Even though I really want to be a mom one day.
This is why I'm 38 & at this point really don't have a desire to have kids because they're very expensive & time consuming.
She has a lot of help from family they help look after the kids which saves loads
Wow! I’m Latina, grew up in a big city in the hood, in poverty. Never really had great opportunities, single parent household that didn’t care and I ended up pregnant at 17! Had to get a GED. But guess what? Because I didn’t have a “victim” mentality nor felt inferior to anyone I always knew I could do better for myself and I made my life a better one! Actually, a great one. Because this country is a place of opportunity for EVERYONE, as long as we don’t allow ourselves to become psychologically enslaved as inferior to the rest. No one should think that they have lesser opportunities than others, you just have to want it enough!
Yes 👏🏻
Omg, I can’t agree with you more . Thank you so much for speaking out . Not gonna lie, sort pissing me off that she keeps on saying Caucasians, like something wrong with being that race. And I am not Caucasian lol. I respect people who works hard and not always think that they are the victim. Home girl needs to grow up, and stop having so many kids. And I am sure me and your tax are paying for her needs too. I am more than happy to help anyone who needs help, however not someone who is just blaming everyone else, but not herself. And yes it’s not easy to go back to college, no one is putting up the wall, but herself. I do admire her mom though, that woman is dope...
Amen! Congratulations 👏
I also think this has to do with mentality. Some people are not as strong mentally as others. I think this lady has a hard time mentally 🙁
@@jazzyj6640 exactly
She said "I found out I was pregnant". Looking into family planning and how women decide to use or forgo contraception is a extremely important discussion to have attempting to forge social and economic policies around poverty and social mobility.
The woman worked for 16 years at Walgreens with shelves stocked with contraceptives and she is a single mother with four children and no one is pointing out to it? She has a teen daughter and son and keeps pointing out to schooling never mentioning pregnancy prevention she has taken for her children to prevent following her example.
I agree. If having a child signaled the time, when you had to change what felt like the right course, why would you continue to have more children, nonetheless fatherless? 🤔 - 30 something female with no children
Yep and where's their fathers??
@Rachel Sheldon its not but itsna choiceb
Right
They probably will follow in her footsteps because people end up unconsciously living what they know!
I worked full time and went to school part time for 10 years to get a four year degree. It was hard but worth it in the end. You can do it.
That's true my mother did the same and earned her bachelor's at 53 yrs old my grandmother returned when she was over 35 received her associates and bachelor's and became a social worker so it can be done she has to be willing to be more than her excuses
Same! I got my BA at 29 I have 3 children who were 6, 5, 3 at the time. Took 9 years, and some semesters I could only take one class per semester. Lots of set backs along the way but I never let anything stop me. You have to just stick to it and focus on the prize.
did you had 4 kids?
The lady is like 'I miss the old neighborhood'
Also her 'i got shot in the old neighborhood'
You can see how race obsessed America is. She automatically said white=money, as if white people can never be poor. Kind of ignorent if you ask me.
The new neighbourhood seems cleaner and more life is there, ie more opportunity but they were obsessed with them being 'white' as a bad thing more then anything else. What a weird country.
Hates blinds you and your part of it. be a solution instead of ignorant
@@mydogsteppedona4431 gentrification affect the poor and pocs the most we knew there was poor white people and still asked as black children why they still stereotype us read a book baby u need help
@@DWTFfilms no baby, you need help. Make sure your kids grow up being proud of their country and loving everyone regardless of race or religion. That's not so hard to do, history is there to learn from not to repeat.
Life is about choices and some choices have life long consequences. Having children and not getting a college degree are deeply impactful. Keeps you in a cycle of debt, poverty, and stagnant wages
Lots of college grads are working minimum wage jobs. We need more tradesman. Plumbers, electricians, ect most now are fifty + years old. We need apprenticeship programs to teach our youth and retrain all those people with college degrees that are working for minimum wage.
I don’t agree at all about the degree part. My husband and I are self employed entrepreneurs with no college degrees. My mother recently pointed out to me, when I was complaining about how exhausting it’s been building my own business, that I’m doing better financially than my sister and her husband with college degrees.
It’s drive. It’s being savvy. It’s never giving up.
It’s seeing outside “the box”, and thinking for yourself.
The internet and opportunity associated has opened up the world.
I know a nurse who was 65 years old who went back to school and became a nurse practitioner while working full-time .
I love this 😊
I know Caucasian women who have 4 kids by different fathers who are poor too, being white isn't some fix-all...
Obviously not but the people moving into that area are exclusively well off white people. It's easier to be successful if you're white. Far easier.
@@slydoll7877 I'm sorry, you clearly speak for all white people moving into that area, I apologize for my ignorance
@@slydoll7877 it's easier when you don't have kids
@@slydoll7877 Nonsense. Its easier to be successful if you have an intact family unit.
@@privateprivate4315 Of course but women can't control the men who leave them with children can they?
if you want to lift yourself out of poverty stop having kids before you have seized every opportunity to lift yourself up into a better financial situation. Giving women access to birth control, healthcare and education is key to solving poverty.
training not just education, a worthless BA in nonsense is poverty too
abortion
Thank you!!
Vasectomies are the best option. Why is it never even talked about?
Why don't the government look out for the people. No it is for the rich folk. No matter if she have kids. What about give train of thought as to how would you feel. Nobody has a huge savings before having kids. You may have money but you can also fo broke hungry and homeless. Remember some vets that fought to five as they call freedom. They are hungry living in poverty and homeless. So no matter what we stuck we got no way to turn. No 8 or 9 an hour job pays all the bills..
I think the community college route would be great. Most community colleges have counselors to help navigate applying for schools, aid, and testing.
She gets overwhelmed very fast. She needs help organizing and putting things together.
She seems intelligent, make no excuses, take one class at a time. It will take sacrifice but she can do it.
Really? I heard nothing but excuses and disdain for others who made better life choices than her.
Financial aid won’t pay for one class at a time. You have to meet a minimum requirement to get assistance with funding for school. If she did your plan she would have to pay out of pocket per credit.
@@CoreyGumbs If that’s what it takes, it’s still putting one foot in front of the other.
I am white and a poor single mother. I have a degree but has so many health issues.
Life has accelerated at this day and age. A degree it self is not enough.
So after seeing this, is the system that is keeping her back or is it herself?
Exactly! People don’t want to take responsibility for THEIR life choices.
There are always jobs that pay more. She needs to find one.
Can it be both? It would be very hard for her to go to school. It would take a lot of determination and reserves of faith in herself. Lots of people could do more, if we had a more supportive system.
@Benji Nnin How do you know? Maybe if she had decent healthcare and access to affordable birth control it may have been different. Get off your high horse. And try a little compassion and empathy, although I'm sure those are strange words to you.
Yeah I don't think white people forced her to have 4 kids by a deadbeat. That's on her. Personal accountability- look into it.
It’s such a good thing that she has her mom to encourage her!!!
IT AMAZES ME HOW ALL THESE PERFECT PEOPLE LOVE TO THROW STONES.
One of the best ways to break the cycle of poverty is education. Having someone who can encourage you to reach for higher things and guide you is essential. So much of the belief that there is nothing else that can be done to better ones situation comes from not knowing how access resources. A lot of people like to say "well you have the internet with all the information you need". Yes, that true but it's truer that you don't know what you don't know.
She has it really hard, but her mom came from a humble background as well. The difference is the father in the house. Girls, try not to have kids with different fathers under any circumstances. No matter the race or background
Yes this, I loved hearing her mother was from Mississippi as I am.a lot of African Americans families came from the South. I don't know why some black ppl don't like to claim their Southern roots. We have a lot of ppl coming to Tennessee, the Carolinas, Georgia and Florida and even Alabama due to the big city no longer being affordable. If you can take the humidity, it's opportunities here and cost of living so much better. I would not recommend Texas. I call Texas little California now. Texas is getting crazy out of all the Southern states. My moms family have 5 generations of them out there mixed with Mexicano
!!! Getting pregnant when you’re not ready can ruin your life especially since the woman is the one that has to bear most of the burden. Men will knock you up and leave you to suffer so it’s crucial to hold out for the right person for both yours and your future kids sakes
@@user-ph9oy1fp3q True. This is why more women need to be independent so in case of anything happening, they got an exist plan.
Umm my father was in the house and that was the whole issue.
Ok I’m going to say something. Most people like 99.9999% of people on welfare, living in so-called “hoods” and in the projects are really good hearted people. It’s the .0001% of the people getting in trouble and into gangs etc. who make it bad for everyone with the shootings and other stuff. Black and Hispanic and Island and other people
Of color (Bengali, Indian, Bangladeshi, etc.) who live in these neighborhoods are all who I call “new immigrants”. If you take the time to drive through the neighborhoods where they own homes you will see some beautiful homes and people who are proud to be here and have a great work ethic. Generalizing these poor people into “lazy” and “poor” and this and that just because they may dress different and look different is the SAME STUFF that happened to the “white” people (Irish, Italian, Jewish) you see in the “gentrified” neighborhoods. My Italian family lived in one room on the lower east side of Manhattan and people spit on them and called them “dago” and made fun of them and their ways too. It’s very ignorant that people don’t want to get to know others and their cultures and food and are afraid.
Stop being afraid of others, you will learn from them!
I have a bachelor's degree and it is worth it melissa. You deserve a better paid job and a career.
Melissa You can do it. I had 5 Children who are now All Adults. I worked 2 jobs while going to School and I went for Criminal Justice. However Ministry & Non-Profit is my Purpose Lane I’m passionate bcuz it’s His will. Continue to Push and You Can and will achieve Your Goals. 🙌🏽🙌🏽
I was 24 with 2 boys and had just kicked my abusive ex out who was the sole provider. I was 1 month behind on rent with no job. I begged Autozone to hire me. I knew I had a passion for cars so this seemed like an excellent fit for me. A year later, I met my now husband delivering car parts to his shop. I asked to apprentice at his shop and his manager had him train me. We fell in love, started a mobile mechanic business, and make 6 figures just 4 years later. If someone had told my 24 year old self that in 5 short years I would be married to a great man, running a successful mechanic business and just about to buy my first house, I would have fainted. It can be done. Don’t settle.
Wow that is extremely impressive! !!!
@@simpleton2090I appreciate you
To beatiful people struggling in poverty just know you are not alone and we all need support and help one another and let's rise and I hope nothing but love peace and healing and success and good health to all
This is definitely not a black or white issue it's an economic issue.
It took me forever to finish school. I have B.A. in Sociology (21yrs post H.S.)...Melissa it's done! You're diploma has your name on it already! Go get it!!
Really sorry to hear u we're shot at 12 year's old. Glad u made it.😢♥️
Melissa is not satisfied with her job and her economic situation so I hope she can figure out a plan for a new career. It might be helpful to visit a career counselor to help you figure out what a good career path would be for you that would also help to lift you out of poverty. You are a smart and capable woman, you just need to believe in yourself. I think it’s overwhelming because of the needs of your family but just take a few courses at a time until you can earn a degree.
You can do it! Take one class at a time!! You have been such a dedicated worker! Girl I could never stay at a job for 17 years. LOL
Stop making excuses & go get your education! Do it for your kids! Set the example! Believe in yourself....🌹
She admits that gentrification got rid of the gangs….crime dropped. I don’t think all of the Caucasians are judging her - but they do notice her skin tight cheetah suit. Of course people judge others all the time. However she’s also judging the Caucasians, making a lot of assumptions and stereotyping them just like she thinks they’re stereotyping her. But seriously I respect anyone that puts in 16 years at Walgreens-no joke. So many missing fathers!!!
She herself is a white Hispanic so her logic about race makes no sense. People probably wonders why she has a bunch of “Black” really Biracial kids ALONE! That’s a lot of kids!
I hope she goes back to school. Her mom is giving her good advice. 👍
Yeah, but her mom's youngest then was the age of her oldest now. May take her till Jayson is 17, cause she would never see him and the others working and taking classes now.
People with Mothers get to waste time all the time. 40 and your mom has tell her to go school 4 kids deep.
@@michaelleary9233 my mom went back to school for her hs diploma first and then her college. When we went to bed at 8-9 pm she hit the books or she slept and then got up at 4am to study till 6 am when we got up. Melissa can get her first year free through ModernStates.org. This uses CLEP testing and avoids classrooms, transportation, textbooks and fees. They even give you a voucher to take the test for free. Community colleges accept 33+ CLEP credits. This will then allow her to just start her Sophomore year without ACT/SAT and other entry testing. There are a lot of 2yr degrees that offer entry level jobs like pharmacy technician. That’s a 5,000+yr pay raise and more if she gets a hospital job. The hospitals pay about $45-55k to start. That would double her income.
I'm white and moved into a prominently black, lower income, neighborhood. Honestly I love it more than most white neighborhoods. You have conversations with people who walk past your porch, everyone looks out for everyone else, and nobody cares what you do as long as it doesn't effect them. Plus I love how the neighborhood kids just run around playing and having a good time. It feels like how neighborhoods should really be.
Yea because white neighborhoods are filled with stuck up white people.
Yea and they're separated by fences
Hmm
And I'm sure you have a Black Bf. 🙄
This is how it was when I lived in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood. Where we lived was considered a "bad area" but I always walked home at night and never felt unsafe and everyone was friendly and we all knew who lived there.
Listen to Mama, you can do it 💪
I hope she stops having a pity party and doubting herself! She is so blessed and has an amazing support system. She can take online classes at night and earn a degree or certification. I pray she is doing better and understand that there are a lot of black and brown ppl doing it big out here at a all time high! We can’t be stopped and neither can she if she believes! ✨💕
Honey don't you pay no attention to the negative comments. You got this
You can do this. I admire you for your strength and attitude in the face of adversity. God Bless you.
Prayers and love to Melissa. It is hard to be a mother. She did well with 4. Without her, her family would have fallen apart, kids fostered out or worse. Now, she can do even better not just for herself but for her kids by getting an education and getting a better paying job. You can do it gal!
Not for nothing lady, I'm Caucasian and I can't afford to live in those buildings !(the same thing is happening in my city) And the only way I'm judging you and your 4 kids is if they are filthy(not dirty from playing) or you are abusive to them !!!
You can do it Melissa! Keep going take care of yourself but keep going ✨✨
I love this woman’s spirit....I hope all the blessings come her way soon 💕🌹
Please continue to keep your head up and remain positive 🌺🌺
She’s a beautiful woman, and a great mama. I grew up on section 8, with a single mom, who made me and my brother go to school and get an education. I don’t even have kids and it’s hard out here. So try not to beat yourself up. But 1 thing she did say that was true was breaking these generational curses, because these type of situations get passed down until somebody stop it. God bless you lady and anyone out there going through the struggle 💕🙏🏾.
Melissa, you are beautiful and an inspiration to others. You keep pushing on. You may not be financially set, but you are rich in spirit.
Her momma is the best. Props to mom.
Girl you can do it, stop making excuses. I had 2 kids, did 18 hr school per semester , worked 2 jobs, I kept a 4.0 grade average. I studied late at night when the kids were in bed. It was hard but by the grace of God i was determined.
I never had government assist with nothing. I made a dollar too much.!!!!!!!!
That was hurtful but I did it.
Now today I own my own business and doing well. I work from home.
That’s awesome I’ve recently become a stay at home mom with a Criminal justice degree I’m now realizing I wanna do other things life is crazy we just have to keep going
Awesome! 👏🏻
Never put yourself down. Belive in yourself and just go for it. The results can be amazing.
I know life is hard but the lord will bless you cause your doing whats right and your children will break thru and be blessed you will see god bless you and your children
Yes Melissa, I know it's a bit off topic, but I'm so glad that she brought up the fact that black & brown folks used to get along a lot better back in the day compared to these days. So sad that there is now a divide amongst us.
Having children before being in a committed marriage is the most common denominator...
I’m genuinely curious about what the Caucasian ppl moving into her neighborhood have anything to do with HER SITUATION. Any single mother, regardless of race, isn’t going to have it easy! She’s a mother of 4 at that!! That’s a situation she made on her OWN 17 yrs before the neighborhood changed. Sounds like for the better and is safer. They aren’t challenging her job security nor have they kept her from moving up to a higher position. She’s likely just intimidated by ppl that she see’s in a better way than her and I totally get it! But SHE has the power to change her life and only her!! Nobody is keeping her at that job with lack of education but her lack of confidence in herself. Maybe she hasn’t made the smartest decisions in the past but she’s WORTHY and so are her kiddos!! Her parents clearly worked HARD for everything they have and wanted the generational curse to end at them. It’s probably safe to say her and mom didn’t speak for that period of time bc they weren’t happy w/ her life choices. She can take online classes at night even if it takes her years!! The negative self view is what hurts to see. Therapy would really help her. I’m rooting for her!
I definitely agree with you.
Stop taking offense to what is true. Your people are rude and racist more than any other Race. You took everything for decades and made wealth off of it. She has a right to feel that way.
Mallory you will never know or experience the difference because you’re white so don’t take offense to it you should be thankful for your white privilege keep
You’re white, i don’t expect you to fully understand because you can’t experience things the way we do. Gentrification has a HUGE affect on people of color.
Are you that dense. Throughout the entire documentary there was talk about gentrification meaning everything including rent goes up! She’s basically saying gentrification has made it to where she can barely afford to provide the basic necessities for her children.
"All I see are Caucasians..."
Can you imagine anyone saying "All I see are black / Hispanic people"??? OMG, there would be riots!
Her mind is in the past not on improving her future. It’s like she constantly lives in the past
She could become a cosometologist! They make decent money. I used that to pay for most of my school also I’m going back to school to be an LVN which is 1 year and they pay over 20 an hour. Nurses are always needed! She could go to a community college
Exactly. Cnas in hospitals and private Dr's offices make good money. Most governments have programs specifically for single moms.
Get your RN. LVN/LPN are being phased out in nursing fast. I know that some community colleges aren't even offering those types of degrees anymore. You can get an R.N. just as fast, 2 yrs, and get paid more than an LVN/LPN, anyway. Don't sell your short love!
Precisely Malcolm X college is a community college on the west side of Chicago & they specialize in alot of medical training/ certifications
@@Nille0212 LPNs are not being phased out. Job growth for LPNs is above average. Phased out in hospitals doesn't mean phased out of existence. Super easy to get a job as an LPN at decent pay.
good for you, LPNs where I live make over 30 an hour on average and the cost of living isn't exceptionally high by national standards either.
She is a good mami, prayers for her and her beautiful kids 💓
Kudos to her Mom she accomplished something and is trying to encourage her daughter to do the same.
The biggest problem she has is that she lost hope. If she has hope she’ll have the drive to continue. It’s not going to be easy but it’s certainly not impossible.
Listen to your mother! Her example is what you need to follow. ❤️❤️❤️❤️YES YOU CAN!
Thank you for sharing your life and struggles ... don’t give up
She does have a lot of negativities in her self reflection and she needs to realistically go to school to better her life and get to the next step! I had to do it! I know she can too!
Melissa, it’s never too late as long as you live. My mom is a single mom and had to raise me and brother all by herself and could barely make it when it came to the bills and food. She started looking for better jobs and got one (she only has high school diploma), she worked a few years at the new job but got sick of it and the minimum wage. She’s now studying to become a nurse. It is neeeever too late to start studying again! You can do this.
I don't think people understand how segregated Chicago really is. Still. There are areas that white people would NEVER step foot in. But I see that's changing.
This woman's situation is tough. She is a strong woman to provide for her family in the way she does. And to consider going back to school while working and raising a family is so brave! I hope she gains the confidence to try it. Even if it's one class at a time. Her mom is a wise woman. I hope she takes her advice. But it's sad to me how she assumes having light skin is some kind of magic, and it makes all your problems disappear. There are plenty of people of all skin colors struggling to pay bills. We've got to stop assuming things about each other, or we'll never come together as a society.
“All I see is Caucasians....” lmao 😭
So, it’s not just me. I was DYING
If you can put 16 years into someone else's dream, you can definitely put at least two years into your own. Being a mother, especially a single mother, should PUSH you! You are not only responsible for your own life and dreams, how you live your life and push for your dreams will reflect on whether or not your children strive to achieve their own dreams too. She's too comfortable where she is at. All she knows is poverty, and she doesn't have to work to come out of it... she needs to want more for herself... with the current economy, she better want more.
What you see is PEACE BOO!!! I love my community. Real Joggers, Educated, Nice Dogs, Quiet, Father's in the home. The Caucasian comment was racist!!! You don't feel they are friendly because your judging them. I'm so glad as a Black Wife and Mother I was raised without ignorance. Who wants to live in a gang infested neighborhood? Who wants to live near trap houses 🤦🏿♀️
I see she have alot of self doubts just like any other human being but just from me watching this I see a very bright women she just need to just go for it and take that leap cause you won't know unless you try it YOU GOT THIS QUEEN 👑
I know she can do this!! Before I got really sick I was doing the damn thing. I was working full time, did Ubereats part time, going to the gym 3-4 days a week, college part time plus I’m a dialysis patient. And at the time I was going to dialysis 3 days a week. So if I can do all that then I think anyone can accomplish anything they want! 😊
A wonderfully strong woman she is amazing God Bless her and her family....and that corn looked great
This WM is on welfare, with children she can't afford, a dead end job and no education. What makes her strong and amazing? Please explain this. Y'all say anything. She is literally doing nothing to make her stand out from any other struggling single mother but you felt the need to praise her. If people like you would stop uplifting WM like her for doing absolutely nothing... Nevermind...
Poverty is not colored blind , I can't believe she never saw a poor white family , there are many,,that sentence shocked me,,.i do really good she does well in school she can do this,,it will help her grow as a person,,time will fly by anyway you might as well go to school.....her mom is a great lady and I am glad they are back in touch,,she will help Melissa get her schooloing
God bless Melissa and her family! Wishing her more success in her future 🙏!!
I had to take a moment, pause the video and pray for this woman and her children. All will work out for the best in due time. The amount of loyalty she displays with that retailer I’m certain a well paying company would be appreciative to have her in the future. There’s so many great programs such as LPN, Phlebotomy, etc that take about a year to complete and would allow her to be make great money. I’m talking $26/Hr. She know what’s best for her and her family I could only hope she finds courage deep within and allow faith to carry her through. ❤️
All Caucasians do not have it easy, I struggled as a single mom of four race doesn't always label your hard times, I raised my kids with God's good grace.
Thank you for sharing your story, praying for you and your family! God bless!!!
you are not white,your face is stamped with powder
Any white person that “has it hard” is probably very lazy. There’s a reason why WP utilize welfare the most and WW use Affirmative Action more than anyone else. They get to be mediocre and get hired in Senior Management positions with high school diplomas. All they need to do is network. Everyone else needs to have multiple degrees. I’ve seen it too many times.
YOU HAVE GOT MY RESPECT MELISSA HOLDING DOWN A JOB FAMILY IN THIS DAY AND AGE.
Wait her dad was outside with her? He sure as hell made sure he was safe. But didn't protect his 12 year old daughter by making sure she ran in the house first.
I thought the same thing, he just ran for his life and who cares about the kid, wow! father of the year
Thought the same omg I agree with you..
I thought exactly sane thing some super hero dad?
First thing I thought when she said that. What sort of parent would ever do that
She has an expensive weave, nails and designer bag. You know she gets EBT cause of those kids. Some people just love to complain. Back in the day, nobody complained about being poor because we had something that she knows nothing about. It's called self-respect!
Exactly! She has a Coach bag, she is NOT in poverty!
My daughter is doing it. She works 40 hours a week, has 2 kids, her own home, and this last semester took 24 credited hours. She got straight A's!
She was a teen mom, and everyone said she wasn't going to amount to anything! She got her GED in 4 weeks and was the youngest person to enroll at our local college. She had just turned 16 2 weeks prior to enrolling. I always talked to her and told her that her education was the only thing that no one could ever take away from her and she ran with it. She's 25 now and still working and going to college, working on her bachelor's degree. Yes it's taken her longer but no one is ever going to stop her from fulfilling her dreams!
I'm amazed at that stereotype she made about whites as if whites always have it easy. That's not true at all. They usually just make different decisions and that relies heavily on culture but I can guarantee that there are many white folks that have it rough.
Secondly this fixation she has with some delusional perception of how whites live coupled with her mothers failure to set a good example at finding men who can take care of their children I think is primary reason she is in this predicament. Up till today we only hear of the mothers struggles with going back to school and having it pay off but we have yet to hear of what her father did to take care of his children. Even in Part 1 we see how she got govt assisted housing which was based on her mom getting that unit and nowhere did we see her father have any part in it.
Then we have intergenerational issues at play here. Her mom never knew her father and then being put in the foster care system to then her finding this Puerto Rican man that couldn't do much for her except help her make 6 children so he could get his citizenship / residency but still the whole family ends up homeless at once stage is just ripe for generational trauma. Even when she got shot at 12 her father tried to run in the house before making sure he found his children were ok. I'm so sick and tired of bw being the mules of the black community and normalising this low standard of living.
Her lack of self confidence comes from her living a lie. She doesn't have a proper reference point to determine what is dysfunctional and what isn't. She glorifies her dad who was 25% a parent, was mad at her mom who most likely was telling her a truth she didn't want to hear, finds herself laying up with useless bm because most likely she liked the attention of being the light skinned prize until they pumped and dumped. Her mother is telling her take one class and yet she is making excuses. She makes poor choices and lacks confidence and is hung up on how she thinks white people see her yet she does nothing to change people's perceived opinions of her. Yes her style of dress is terrible. She sees herself as a low person and acts accordingly and that's all her fault.
Go to Lewiston Maine and go to the projects there! PLENTY of WHITES displaced and POOR POOR POOR! BESIDES the THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of Somalian they took STRAIGHT to Portland and Lewiston and put them STRAIGHT into the system! It is CRAZY!
Her mother had been married to her father since they were teens so what are you talking about obout
People born in Puerto Rico are citizens of the United States.
I think Melissa and her Mother should learn to give themselves more credit for the hard work they've put in to this life. They may not be rich but they have grown and over come so much. Melissa you can accomplish many goals. Believe in yourself, you can do it. Success on many levels is within us all, I pray that we all get to see our beautiful dreams come to reality.
I went to College- and the one thing thst I've learned is that you don't need a degree to succeed😊 Ask the good Lord to guide you! He will...
It’s a poverty mentality. My ex had a lot of opportunities to go back to school when we were together but I guess he thought the gravy train would never run out. 😂 He still works a low wage job and no education. 🤷♀️ And he has no one to blame but himself even though all he does is make excuses. No ambition. Just so glad he’s out of my life. I have actual savings for the first time in my life bc he can’t financially abuse me and my child any longer. Karma
She needs help to break out of that survival mindset. There are so many opportunities right in front of her that she can't see. Everyone has gifts and talents. Melissa does too but she just can't believe in herself. Melissa you are talented and worth more than 13$ an hour! Start listing out your talents and ask yourself how could you make money using them. Even taking a server job at one of those fancy restaurants could potentially bring more than 13$ in wages. I realize some of what may hold her back is loss of benefits (rent assistance, childcare etc.) but I hope she finds a way to break free of this poverty trap.
Pleass keep us updated...love ad appreciate the honesty.
I feel like she's making excuses. I went to school full time and worked 3 part time jobs, and commuted to school/work on public transportation. You can do it if you put your mind to it. It isn't easy. I had many restless and sleepless nights but I did it. You can too! Believe in yourself! There's college counselors who can give you and show you the way.
Yeh you can do it if you dont sleep. Alot a people go crazy from lack of sleep.
I disagree with some of her decisions but I wholeheartedly and genuinely hope she has overcome her fear with going back to school. Girl you got this. You can do it. Please believe in yourself. Everything you’ve been through, you’ve survived. All your hard work will pay off. 👏🏾
She can do it, she just need a good support system.
That Mom's advice about college is right, I followed that same advice!