I've been binge watching your videos. What you teach is great, but requires even greater self control. I have been saying, that to raise children well, we first have to train ourselves. But knowing it, and not knowing how exactly is the problem. I appreciate you going through the steps of how to. I really want to get and read your book
I am watching your episode of World's Strictest Parents, and it's making me cry. Thank you for sharing your life and skills with the world. You have a wonderful family and outlook and heart. I have a lot to learn from you. PS> I also homeschool. It is the best choice I have ever made in my life. God bless
It is incredibly challenging to establish the skills in the midst of the chaos along with create a chore chart for multiple out of control children (parents) to actually be in a position to make a correction. It feels almost impossible right now. It's overwhelming.
I completely understand. It doesn't have to be, though! We have a support group that is there to help, as well as an online course that can offer more teaching. Here are a few links: teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope that helps!
Thank you! This is great content! The one thing that I worry about assigning chores as a penalty. That turns work into something negative. Possibly, giving demerits that involve a loss of stickers would work. Stickers could be used to determine an allowance or trips.
This is a very common concern. One of my favorite authors, Samuel Smiles, said "Work is the antidote for a sick character." Extra chores are used as a means to teach cause and effect, not as a penalty or punishment. Nothing we do in Teaching Self-Government is meant to punish anyone.
A lot of people are worried about the time it takes to do a proper correction. That shouldn't be the big concern. A proper correction provides the grounds for proper connection. Your children will thank you later for taking the time to do proper, calm, understanding corrections. Trust me. Mine already have. As far as eye contact for following instructions and such, they shouldn't be allowed to go do any instruction unless they follow all five steps, the first of which is "Look at the person." Make sure to pre-teach that with them and tell them that if they don't follow all the steps to the skill needed, they will earn an extra chore.
This is amazing! Thank you for sharing all this great info. I would love to find my calm. I know I need it! Unfortunately, the link to your toolkit is no longer active 😔 did I miss that opportunity?
No, it should still be active. Try this one: teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/ If you still struggle with this one, reach out to us at support@teachingselfgovernment.com You've got this!
I appreciate this video. However, I have a few challenging middle school students. Some refuse to listen to any instructions, or turn to chatter seconds later. Do you have any advice for how to address these issues without raising my voice?
Yes! I have lots of advice for using TSG in the classroom. These resources might help you in your efforts: TSG in the Classroom Part 1: th-cam.com/video/N_duINIsbfA/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Part 2: th-cam.com/video/ROc6ke-xOJU/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Part 3: th-cam.com/video/FPJVZRPL9B8/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t Podcast episode: teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-blog/podcast/podcast-118-tsg-in-the-classroom/ You've got this!
I had IVF to have this child and I do love this 11yo but he’s been always quite a high strung and negative child. He is also by nature sloppy and lazy towards work. He’s not stupid he’s goofy and affectionate too but I simply can’t allow him to waste his days away! I feel tired and so busy with lots of other commitments as well but I just can’t leave him unsupervised with eg homework because he doesn’t have the Intrinsic motivation in him and no excellent spirit, not just with academic home work but even with simple chores like sorting his own clothes out. He can see how his older brother has been struggling so much this year with his studies due to sloppy lazy behaviour when he was younger but he doesn’t seem to connect that if he behaves the same he will eventually suffer the same. I am feeling so frustrated.
Thank you for sharing. I have a few other videos that address specific skills and principles to help in this area: th-cam.com/video/-8lp00j2LqA/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgbm8gYW5zd2Vy th-cam.com/video/1EVYVgWiJtc/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUVbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgcnVsZW9m th-cam.com/video/xavYdtwOL2o/w-d-xo.html He needs skills and consistent correction, as well as calmness in himself and in his parents. I hope these help!
If you haven't found them already, here's a link to my website where the books are: teachingselfgovernment.com/store-category/materials/ I hope this helps!
Is there a video of how to implement these principles if your kid is 13? He's going yo be looking at me kinda strange if i just pull all this put at once. I do give him consequences and he's not totally out of control, but i can't say it's totally calm and his disagreeing isn't super respectful.
Great question! I have a video of the Four Basic Skills that I teach to everyone and I'm roleplaying it with my teen-aged son. th-cam.com/video/-8lp00j2LqA/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgbm8gYW5zd2Vy If you want more in-depth instruction on how to implement what I teach, I would highly recommend the TSG Parenting Course. It has a lot more information than my TH-cam videos have and give you what you need to fully implement it in your home. teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope that helps!
If it's manipulative (bribing, yelling, etc), it's not healthy for relationships. If it's pre-taught and consistent, without using emotions to manipulate others, it's healthy.
Its about starting at a very young age soon has they are born . Its ur upbringing . What do doctors think that medication will work when so many adults commit suicide now a days . From all those crazy medications . Those counselors already know it starts from the you are born .
Great question! In a nutshell, be assertive, choose ahead of time not to take any emotional reaction of theirs personally, and deliberately control the only thing you can control: yourself. I could go a lot more into detail on this, but it's too long to type out here. :) Feel free to join my Support Group and ask me there! teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I've been binge watching your videos. What you teach is great, but requires even greater self control. I have been saying, that to raise children well, we first have to train ourselves. But knowing it, and not knowing how exactly is the problem. I appreciate you going through the steps of how to. I really want to get and read your book
Great insight! I agree. I'm glad you've been learning from my videos! I hope they've been helpful!
I am watching your episode of World's Strictest Parents, and it's making me cry. Thank you for sharing your life and skills with the world. You have a wonderful family and outlook and heart. I have a lot to learn from you.
PS> I also homeschool. It is the best choice I have ever made in my life.
God bless
It is incredibly challenging to establish the skills in the midst of the chaos along with create a chore chart for multiple out of control children (parents) to actually be in a position to make a correction. It feels almost impossible right now. It's overwhelming.
I completely understand. It doesn't have to be, though! We have a support group that is there to help, as well as an online course that can offer more teaching. Here are a few links:
teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope that helps!
brilliant, I would only change the word 'Control' with 'Manage' and it's perfect.
Thank you for your feedback!
Thank you! This is great content! The one thing that I worry about assigning chores as a penalty. That turns work into something negative. Possibly, giving demerits that involve a loss of stickers would work. Stickers could be used to determine an allowance or trips.
This is a very common concern. One of my favorite authors, Samuel Smiles, said "Work is the antidote for a sick character." Extra chores are used as a means to teach cause and effect, not as a penalty or punishment. Nothing we do in Teaching Self-Government is meant to punish anyone.
@@TeachingSelfGovernment thank you
My kids LOVE your kids books! So do I!
Oh yay! I'm so glad!
For the parenting books, is there a certain order that I need to read them in? I just found these videos last night and I’m so grateful that I did!
This is hurting my head....parenting is sooo hard especially when you dont have grandparents around....is mostly me alone.
Being heavy handed parent is not necessary. I learned that the hard way
Consistency with principles is key!
This seems so wonderful! But how much time does it take? I have four boys and I’d be correcting ALL day! They never look at me and say OK!
A lot of people are worried about the time it takes to do a proper correction. That shouldn't be the big concern. A proper correction provides the grounds for proper connection. Your children will thank you later for taking the time to do proper, calm, understanding corrections. Trust me. Mine already have.
As far as eye contact for following instructions and such, they shouldn't be allowed to go do any instruction unless they follow all five steps, the first of which is "Look at the person." Make sure to pre-teach that with them and tell them that if they don't follow all the steps to the skill needed, they will earn an extra chore.
This is amazing! Thank you for sharing all this great info. I would love to find my calm. I know I need it! Unfortunately, the link to your toolkit is no longer active 😔 did I miss that opportunity?
No, it should still be active. Try this one:
teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/
If you still struggle with this one, reach out to us at support@teachingselfgovernment.com
You've got this!
You look great, for a second I wasn’t sure it was you ahahaha
Thank you! I realized I could totally self-govern all areas of life, so I did!
I appreciate this video. However, I have a few challenging middle school students. Some refuse to listen to any instructions, or turn to chatter seconds later. Do you have any advice for how to address these issues without raising my voice?
Yes! I have lots of advice for using TSG in the classroom.
These resources might help you in your efforts:
TSG in the Classroom Part 1: th-cam.com/video/N_duINIsbfA/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t
Part 2: th-cam.com/video/ROc6ke-xOJU/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t
Part 3: th-cam.com/video/FPJVZRPL9B8/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgY2xhc3Nyb29t
Podcast episode: teachingselfgovernment.com/parenting-blog/podcast/podcast-118-tsg-in-the-classroom/
You've got this!
I had IVF to have this child and I do love this 11yo but he’s been always quite a high strung and negative child. He is also by nature sloppy and lazy towards work. He’s not stupid he’s goofy and affectionate too but I simply can’t allow him to waste his days away! I feel tired and so busy with lots of other commitments as well but I just can’t leave him unsupervised with eg homework because he doesn’t have the Intrinsic motivation in him and no excellent spirit, not just with academic home work but even with simple chores like sorting his own clothes out. He can see how his older brother has been struggling so much this year with his studies due to sloppy lazy behaviour when he was younger but he doesn’t seem to connect that if he behaves the same he will eventually suffer the same. I am feeling so frustrated.
Thank you for sharing. I have a few other videos that address specific skills and principles to help in this area:
th-cam.com/video/-8lp00j2LqA/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgbm8gYW5zd2Vy
th-cam.com/video/1EVYVgWiJtc/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUVbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgcnVsZW9m
th-cam.com/video/xavYdtwOL2o/w-d-xo.html
He needs skills and consistent correction, as well as calmness in himself and in his parents.
I hope these help!
How can I find your books?
If you haven't found them already, here's a link to my website where the books are: teachingselfgovernment.com/store-category/materials/
I hope this helps!
Are they available in German?
Is there a video of how to implement these principles if your kid is 13? He's going yo be looking at me kinda strange if i just pull all this put at once. I do give him consequences and he's not totally out of control, but i can't say it's totally calm and his disagreeing isn't super respectful.
Great question! I have a video of the Four Basic Skills that I teach to everyone and I'm roleplaying it with my teen-aged son.
th-cam.com/video/-8lp00j2LqA/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgbm8gYW5zd2Vy
If you want more in-depth instruction on how to implement what I teach, I would highly recommend the TSG Parenting Course. It has a lot more information than my TH-cam videos have and give you what you need to fully implement it in your home.
teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/
I hope that helps!
THE right way or a better way? Is there only one right way?
If it's manipulative (bribing, yelling, etc), it's not healthy for relationships. If it's pre-taught and consistent, without using emotions to manipulate others, it's healthy.
What if they are resistant to the practice at the end? My son was resistant after we started the program and had done it for his first corrections.
Its about starting at a very young age soon has they are born . Its ur upbringing . What do doctors think that medication will work when so many adults commit suicide now a days . From all those crazy medications . Those counselors already know it starts from the you are born .
Postive words / vs negative words which one are you?
Is it difficult to correct children from animals? 😂
How to correct parents by the way??? Sometimes it’s the parents wrong LOL
Great question! In a nutshell, be assertive, choose ahead of time not to take any emotional reaction of theirs personally, and deliberately control the only thing you can control: yourself.
I could go a lot more into detail on this, but it's too long to type out here. :) Feel free to join my Support Group and ask me there!
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/