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Narcissists Run From People With These 2 Traits
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ส.ค. 2024
- Given the distress and damage narcissistic abuse causes it can be hard to believe that we have superpowers that can make them bolt the other way!
Just like vampires when you shine a bright light on them, they retreat into the shadows when you are not needy or empty any more. And positively flee when you stop dimming down and living in fear.
In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain in detail what the 2 superpower traits that repel narcissists are and how to activate them. It’s about time you stood in your own power and light and shut the door in this person’s face. Watch now to get on the path to your narcissist-free life today.
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Learn how to set boundaries, heal from co-dependency and so much more! The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program: courses.melanietoniaevans.com/p/narp 🦋
Narcissists teach you a valuable lesson never to trust completely 100 % someone at the beginning of a relationship .
Well said . Never again will I give my heart so easily away
so true.
Except in the case of family members; that is where it’s especially tough.
I agree. They teach that boundaries are a necessity, not a luxury.
@@jtg1465 yes true. I have made the decision to walk away from family completely. It was either then or me. Of course I chose myself first.
1. Be assertive
2. Set boundaries
3. Be socially connected
4. Address rumors head on
5. Confront the troublemaker if needed, Narcissist or not
This will repel the Narcissists away from you.
You’re right. The absolute narc repellant is not being afraid to be yourself. You have to be willing to risk having people not like or approve of you. Once you can be ok with that, narcs no longer have much, if any power over you.
NEVER EVER allow ANYONE to treat you badly...if you let them get away with it once..your giving permission for it to go on and they'll take advantage BECAUSE THEY CAN ..why would you want to be with someone who thinks so little of you they insult you? Your more valuable than that .shut them down immediately!
My whole family has sided with my narcissistic mother and believed the lies she has told about me. I have had to accept this and get on with my life and create my own happiness.
Interesting to think about "letting" narcissist into your home - literally! Think about all the times one is forced to allow a Narc into their home because it's a family member!!! I dealt with a sister-in-law who was so hurtful and destructive. Every holiday felt so violating! She's out of my life now, and she knows it.
Go’s you too. Mine was a vulnerable covert who had me so fooled I felt sorry for her for 35 years until - despite warnings - she targeted me! Woah!
@@NEbluefire my story is recent so to answer your question… I’ll probably only mention it when the topic comes up.
@@NEbluefire yes of course.
To sum it all up
Self love first
Then love others
Like it says in the book of Leviticus
"Love your Fellow as yourself"!!
Interesting. Common advice about going Grey Rock is to make yourself physically unattractive and to paint your life as boring to avoid triggering the narcissist's envy. But what if you run into the narcissist when you weren't expecting them? Should you mess up your hair and wipe off your makeup? What if a non-narcissist asks about your personal life in front of the narcissist? Do you act boring with them, too?
Grey Rock kind of falls apart there. I'm thinking your way is better. Continue to shine your light and learn to tolerate narcissistic envy. It sounds scary but also better than living in constant fear of running into the narcissist.
That's simple....just treat them like they treat you. They can't tolerate that in the least.
👆👆👆👆 i was so weak depressed and sad when i think i lost it all during my divorce custody in court with my ex husband. A friend recommend a group of highly Expert in Forensic Evidence they deal with all legal papers works child custody/abuse/divorce support and property management and can hack into people cellphone's to get you deleted and non deleted messages, call logs, videos, social media messages from all drives without them noticing .
After healing up my internal traumas in NARP, when I see a real life cockroach in the kitchen at 3am, when I turn the light on the roach hides and runs from me. The cockroach is like the Narcissist when you heal and turn on your own 'Light'. And I would OfCourse sweep up the food bits so the roach does not have attraction to my kitchen. The same with Narcs, when you heal yourself you don't supply the food they need. One last analogy, bug spray is like your boundaries, you say 'No' it repels them. Keep shifting and shining on my friends! - Love and Light, Kayla aka the (Boundary Beast)
Wow! I was just thinking that getting away from my narcissist family and other narc relationships is like uninviting a vampire! 🧛♀️🧛
She has thought me more about these very sick people and how to get away from them than any one else ever.
I've found that a wooden stake is useful too.
Very useful!
👆👆👆👆 i was so weak depressed and sad when i think i lost it all during my divorce custody in court with my ex husband. A friend recommend a group of highly Expert in Forensic Evidence they deal with all legal papers works child custody/abuse/divorce support and property management and can hack into people cellphone's to get you deleted and non deleted messages, call logs, videos, social media messages from all drives without them noticing .
Make your light an intense Naked Sun radiating 1kw/m2 like the sun!
That's why it's so important to know yourself 💜💜
I had a few clear for the first time "Ahaa" moments with this message, especially with the Ruiz analogy of the women and the pizza. Wow, yes! That's a great analogy, and a great mental picture for me to draw on if I start feeling "enticed" by a "greasy pizza man"! Thank you so much for this video message!! ❤👍❤
Wendy Clark,You are beautiful 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist 😈.…...
All you need is love - more specifically, a commitment to fierce self-love!
Makes PERFECT sense Mel!!! My daughter (the narc) will be coming to our house to do a "Full Moon ceremony" at my husband's & my house in a day or so. My daughter lives in a 1 BR Apt. in a nearby community without a yard. My husband has always accomodated my daughter's wishes by getting the wood together, etc. & helps my daughter prepare for the ceremony in our backyard. However, I do not like what I've done in the past; where I've gone out to view the fire, at my daughter's request. So tomorrow, I plan to stay inside & not even "talk" to my daughter when she comes over tomorrow & I'll not be going outside to view her monthly 'moon fire". I have my own life to live. I don't need to be directed in my life "by" my daughter! (This may seem 'silly' but I've been handing over my power TO her for the longest time, without really realizing what I was doing.) Thanks for the video & thanks so much for NARP. I have (finally!!) decided that I have had enough c.r.a.p. in my life.
I'm glad you've mentioned that not everyone can become ensnared by highly narcissistic individuals again, because I didn't get to write on another video you did on the subject a while ago.
I'd written about my concerns with an extremely popular narcissism counsellor (there's more than one though), who stated that ANYONE can get caught up in "relationships" with them and many people do say that they were confident and happy, which certainly wasn't the case with me, with very little, or no childhood trauma wounds, when they were persued, then stayed with the person for a few years, or much longer.
I realise that some dangerous types get more of a kick out of breaking a person who has confidence and a career etc, yet I believe that most wouldn't allow it to happen, as their intuition would pick up the vibes right away, which is strong in healthy individuals. They'd want to take things very slowly too.
I noticed when I was with the last charismatic and dangerous man that some women, or even men, weren't susceptible to his charms, whereas others believed the false exterior. It was exactly like they'd been put under a spell right in front of my eyes! I've witnessed it with other people I've known in the past too.
I know that people call this way of thinking victim blaming, yet that's not my intention at all. I've been through it more than once as well and don't blame myself; however, I can clearly see how it all happened and the areas I need to work on.
Another important point is that some might not be aware, or even remember, that they have past trauma issues. And it's a fact that trauma bonds CAN be broken, even though it's not easy and painful, which I can attest to.
I want to stress that it's not the suvivor's fault at all, but these types of people aren't going anywhere, so it's up to me and others to learn to listen to our intuition, to be okay with being alone, among other self-protection measures, such as having strong boundaries. ❤
You’re soooo right!!! We need to realize our Superpowers. For as unpredictable as they seem to be, they all operate from the same playbook, so that actually makes them predictable. I used to be scared, which caused me to react and make decisions from a fear-based position…with poor outcomes.
But then I started writing down details after those defeats, and eventually a pattern revealed itself. My kids suffered because I wasn’t able to stand up for them, because I was afraid…until I made a realization from writing it all down. After a while of writing things down, I CLEARLY saw a playbook, and you’re so right, the light is a weak spot with them.
Once I realized that the ExN in my life is afraid of the light, I started using that to my advantage & I have gotten amazing results. They ARE predictable. Use their playbook to anticipate their reactions and next moves. We actually can use our superpowers to guide the situation into a positive outcome. Boundaries and guiding the situation to the desired outcome is the only way We can provide some type of protection for our children. -There is no way to co-parent with these people. I don’t feel fearful anymore and my children are thriving & are stronger because I’m stronger…despite any chaos he introduces in their lives. So empowering. Thank you for bringing all your knowledge to empower us.
Narcissists present as extremely plausible genuine individuals initially - don’t be taken by this facade.
Trust your instincts & your insight.
It is best not to hit rock bottom to be able to view relationships from the Mountain top of their Real Perspectives and come to terms with reality, You can't fix a cheater, a psychopath, or a narcissist, it's as simple as you can't take blood from stone. these smart phone devices in people's hands have taken them away from real individuality, not until I got closure on my husband I was in the dark. We create our reality and the consciousness of the planet is accelerating. This means people have to become more aware of who they are. When one experiences abuse, you first become aware of the abuse, then realizing you are a victim, With healing and processing comes strong boundaries built by confidence in your worth.
After this comes a realization that the experience made you stronger and more of who you are and that the narcissist was simply a vehicle for your growth. Ultimately you then realize we are all a creation of our energetic spiritual energy and the narcissist was and is a part of us. In the end, we become accepting of the experience and knowing we would never go back to the previous unawakened and unenlightened version of ourselves. It is not by any means an easy journey and is filled with pain especially when we incarnate into a family with a parent of such characteristics. There is a plan and it is ultimately to drive us. You would love an awakened version of you.
My husband was a deceptive narcissist and sociopath, he would never apologize, I was always made to feel little on the inside, it was pure psychological warfare at its lowest, I suspected infidelity on his path, not until with the help of the developer of an app code name rat9 for accessing his device without having to physically touch it, with a functionality to view deleted chats and messages as well as call logs and in-app chats, I was completely in the dark. There was a Conversation I read on his Instagram Account where he did address me as 'beauty with no brains'. I'm finally going through a divorce with evidences too overwhelming. His device contained secrets that I could never have imagined. If in need of such help, write directly to the developer on email ' ethandavydova at gmail dot com '.
"Non-invitation", genius! That exactly gave words to a deeper feeling and knowing inside of me which I did not pay need to yesterday. I shall act on this boundary. Thank you for sharing your wisdom Melanie 💖 May your light shine brighter 🌤🌈
Wow. This is an incredible description of a narcissist. Thank you so much
Your content and caring set me on an amazing healing journey. I can’t thank you enough 🥰🥰🥰
.. as a German Biologist - this is about Inner Strength. We grow up in a hyper comfort zone , conditioned to be hyper tolerant - and become hyper allergic to anything appearing uncomfortable. This develops like an Auto Immune Disease - we get a self destructive action without any cause. It takes intense Endurance training to condition to endure PAIN without any Reward. With intense Inner Strength training to endure - we can establish an emotional firewall - to sense like a RADAR anything antagonistic, toxxic - from afar - and stay away. There is no rational way to deal with those social war zone deteriorations - we have to become Warriors in the Mine fields of a self destructive Society...
narcst parents create narct relations where v have ,narc siblings ,narc sistersin law,narcst spouse,and whole family becomes dysfunctional .people who have normal families are blessed
👆👆👆👆 i was so weak depressed and sad when i think i lost it all during my divorce custody in court with my ex husband. A friend recommend a group of highly Expert in Forensic Evidence they deal with all legal papers works child custody/abuse/divorce support and property management and can hack into people cellphone's to get you deleted and non deleted messages, call logs, videos, social media messages from all drives without them noticing .
My mother is a narcissist and my father just kept the peace. I had a very abusive childhood in alot of ways that damaged me. It started when I was born. I thought that abuse was love and I fell in love with a narcissist thinking I could change them with love. It didn't work and left me heartbroken. I'm only at 50 discovering this problem dynamic I have. Also realizing that as an empath I have power. Even my parents were energy vampires. I could never stand up to them because they would ignore or silent treatment and feel like a I wasn't worthy to be supported.
same situation here Lillie. you can heal. please look up her program. I thought I could change another soul with love too. what a big lesson we can't. we all are individual separate souls
I am 60 yrs old, married 38 yrs. to a malignant narc, and he is incredibly manipulative, exploitative, deceptive, duplicitous. He has betrayed me with my sister, and told dozens of family/ relatives that he was divorcing me before I got the surprise divorce petition, and then used the most severely abusive divorce petition to extort me back into the relationship, with the alternative being poverty and homelessness. I don’t know how to get away because he gained total financial control. I live alone, but not divorced yet. I feel stuck and I try to partner with myself every day. The parental alienation of my 2 grown kids has hurt in a way that feels like a death has happened. He got their loyalty and they want nothing to do with me for the rest of my life. The narcissist ruined my entire family, but I still have my authentic self, my soul, my character, my heart, my smile, my love, light, truth, compassion and human decency. I long for my children and always will.❤
Oh my , so much resignation with this , it just hit home I need to do so much work for myself . Love this …. Grateful I was meant to find this 💗
Wonderful advice!
Thank you Melanie.
I've called out a couple of them and they are very dangerous people....Don't worry about making them run...you run and don't stop..run right into yourself...keep your mind busy and before ya know it....youll have yourself back
Thank you soo much! You are a wonderful teacher! Most appreciate you!!
Trait one: run faster
Trait two: dont stop, ever
Awesome, Melanie. Makes so much sense to me, especially with some I have recently encountered. Worked like a charm in a very short amount of time
. I saved myself, I'm proud.
Thank you so much for sharing this melania. Really helpful and powerful.
I believe in the idea of what you're saying, aka self realization and being at perfect peace with yourself, but I don't believe that anyone does this perfectly and if they say they do, they're not being totally honest. We have to be on guard Many narcs are dumb, but there are also many who are masters at their craft. If we put ourselves in a position to say that we are 100% foolproof from narcissists, we are in a dangerous place.
👆👆👆👆 i was so weak depressed and sad when i think i lost it all during my divorce custody in court with my ex husband. A friend recommend a group of highly Expert in Forensic Evidence they deal with all legal papers works child custody/abuse/divorce support and property management and can hack into people cellphone's to get you deleted and non deleted messages, call logs, videos, social media messages from all drives without them noticing .
Not only is "being at perfect peace with yourself" not even a saying but it also does not correlate to being foolproof 😂😂 tf are you chatting about?
❤❤❤ truth be told ❤❤❤
Good advice. Thank you. 🙂
jay mcgurran,Hope you are not with a narcissist 😈......
@@oscarwilliamson6163 Not anymore, thankfully. 4 years in recovery now.. Hope you are well.
@@slumdogjay Good to hear that.I will be glad to know you.I am Oscar Williamson from Swansboro, NC.You?
@@oscarwilliamson6163 Nice to make your acquaintance, Oscar. I’m from Glasgow, Scotland.
@@slumdogjay Are you on Facebook?
Indifference is #1
Wow. This is a nice summary my last 4 yr self examination after narc, (with a little help of nichiren bhuddism) thnx! ^^
I find your analogies and symbolic language quite entertaining, btw :)
Thank you Ms. Evans you have helped me so so much!!🌺👍❤️
That's good to the soul.thank you
Excellent
There is the perfect example. Amber Heard. She is still attacking. She won't ever stop. I hit send early last post. Oops
Amber Heard. Their is thr perfect example. Still attacking
This is perfect
👆👆👆👆 i was so weak depressed and sad when i think i lost it all during my divorce custody in court with my ex husband. A friend recommend a group of highly Expert in Forensic Evidence they deal with all legal papers works child custody/abuse/divorce support and property management and can hack into people cellphone's to get you deleted and non deleted messages, call logs, videos, social media messages from all drives without them noticing .
i keep mysrlf away from narc mothr ,narc sistr and inlaws
Mahalo from Maui.
D.E.W. Free? What’s that like? Thankfully, my family, friends and other real relationships (that are supposedly so repulsive) have never done to me. 😒
@Mel, can you please do a video on the Johnny Deep and amber heard saga?
“Make narcissist run” can you do that?
I did that to my ex female narc. She ran away like a coward.
My cousins sided with the narcissist
👆👆👆👆 i was so weak depressed and sad when i think i lost it all during my divorce custody in court with my ex husband. A friend recommend a group of highly Expert in Forensic Evidence they deal with all legal papers works child custody/abuse/divorce support and property management and can hack into people cellphone's to get you deleted and non deleted messages, call logs, videos, social media messages from all drives without them noticing .
👏👏👏👏👍👍👍
inspiReiki
0 seconds ago
Hi Melanie...just found your channel after watching, "Why Do Narcissists Go After Lightworkers?" from 2016, and hoped you were still creating content! YES!! here's my answer! Love, Light, and continued healing to you from likely your newest subscriber in the Heartland, USA ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤍 ...and 💟, Light and ✨healing✨ to all who read this 🎇 !! !!