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Protecting Yourself When The Narcissist Tries To Punish You
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ส.ค. 2024
- At one point or another a narcissist will turn on you and punish you.
It’s inevitable. I’m sure you’ve lived it, are living it right now or you sense it’s coming …
And you may ask yourself, “Why do narcissists have to punish people with such cruelty?”
Here’s one answer to that question … because YOU are to blame. The narcissist believes that you're the reason they feel so crappy, angry, and triggered and why anything, and everything is not going right in their life.
So, if that’s the twisted version they have running through their head, how can you protect yourself when they lash out and try to punish you?
In today’s video I share with you how to disarm them completely and thwart any of their malicious attempts.
You may find what I am going to teach you counterintuitive but I’ve put it to the test and can sincerely tell you that it works.
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Observe not absorb, a narcissist will work on every insecurities you have, so right there, work on yourself and love yourself and just go no contact and block them on everything and don't ever let them stay rent free in your head 🗣️.
Yeah they think others are like them and they project all the time so if they are insecure they assume they can hurt you like that they will just lie too tell you who you are ignore reality. Mostly they are just irritating but they will go after your loved ones if they can't get under your skin and that's pretty awful.
@@AnnaLVajda so true,if they can't hurt you they will hurt the people you love, just to hurt you 🙏
This technique I've applied. And it WORKS!....but the Provoking narc will persist until they recieve what they want--your reaction. Great Technique for a fellow narc employee or even family member we must see on holidays, but it'll only go so far in a romantic relationship. BEST move to make, is BOLT😄🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️
Melanie is describing half of Hollywood 😂 and a Narc ex 👌🏽
Amen. And, if only🙄
“I ended up losing everything anyway.”
I had to stop the video to absorb that. That hit hard because there’s still a part of me clinging to the narcissist’s cooperation.
No fear .. stand strong stand tall .. invincible … be the light !
I am blown away with your work, your wording goes that extra mile to get your point across and into the pours of my very being. I have such a powerful shield around me that nothing toxic could ever come close to penetrating. I am a 38 year old guy and living my best life.
Your work has completed changed my life for the better and I am forever grateful. Thank you so much. Luv from Ireland 🇮🇪
She explains the narcissist very well. Why they do what they do
We’re there is love their is no darkness - no false self will survive
Oh dear, well Hollywood’s screwed then ;)
@@ThesySurface lmao
@@anushkaroy6666 They are. And they know it. Especially ALL the BS that was said & smeared by the insecure after the Max Landis abuse ;)
Glad you understood it @Touch-Bearer how every the grammer maybe ;) all the best 🙏
Thank you Melanie Tonia Evans this is exactly what I needed today! My narcissistic son is punishing me for calling out his behaviour towards me and my setting boundaries! His recent text to me ended with "have a nice life" This is SO hard but I know I need to continue with the no contact and not react. I'm 💔 tbh of course I still love him and miss him terribly, but I can see he won't change.
"Do not throw your pearls before pigs, for they will trample them unto your feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Matt 7:6 AMP biblicus😉
Tommy Thankyou God had shared that with me , and yet I found I did it again...share too personal stuff.
@@estherrogers7533 I wouldn't blame yourself for having an awesome, open soul! We're supposed to share! That's what makes being in relation intimate & human. I feel ya tho, as I've done the same (and w the Same one😄) In the end, w God, we win😉
True. I've tried to "hang on" and stay positive in two narcistic relationships. Then I realized the problem wasn't me, it was them. Because nothing I could do, even when it was my very best, wasn't good enough.
My ex would do that to me when we were in a restaurant, or out shopping, or even when I would "like" someone's music on TH-cam. I got to the point when she would start in, I would go walk to the railway track, and watch trains, or go look at the moon and stars if it was night, etc. I started going and collecting bottles and cans for recycling. I needed the money anyway, since all our money went to support and enable her criminal grandson.
@@tommyd8418 for me it's been 38 years of not finding fulfillment or validation in a relationship. But being disabled and unable to provide financially for a woman limits my chances of finding anyone credible. The others see me as a joke, and take me for my SSI money while they have someone else on the side. Usually it's guys who have connections to drugs they want, and only toy with me for the money.
Soul Rape...
Wow.
That is exactly IT.
The pain goes so deep. So so deep.
That is EXACTLY what it is.
I feel that way at the time of his betrayal. But I've learned to be resilient and look at it as a teaching and learning lesson.
Damned if you do or don’t is so true. My family completely. It took me 35 years to finally go no contact. Been doing the inner work for a while now. Quite confrontational but going inward is about self survival. Fighting back - my biggest mistake. What a freak show they are - I blamed myself and begged to belong!
So, I am here because mine had me convinced I was a narc. Not wanting to be the worst kind of human on earth I started looking for ways to stop being vile and destroying my wallflower. Well, thank goodness I am not a narcissist, but in watching and learning I found out what SHE is. How I know she will NEVER change? She is watching the same people I watch and seeing ALL her own behavior and still doesn't see the problem. I have known for 15 years there is something horribly wrong with how disgusting she treats me, but until learning about vulnerable narcissistic personality nothing made sense. Today, EVERYTHING makes sense. And along the way I see where I need to change and heal and grow. Excepting for losing my child, her discarding me after TWO months of marriage was a blessing.
Melanie the work that you do never ceases to astound me. You have helped guide me to let go. The abuse from my NPD mother is not mine to hold. My purpose is not to be her punching bag for the hatred with her own self.
Thanking the universe for guiding me towards your work. ❤️
_es
I need strength and wisdom to get myself out of this relationship of 35 years.
You can do it , you are stronger than you think 🤗🌷
Get out and stay OUT and do not look back go no cantact, or before they discard you they will DESTROY YOU physically or mentally before leaving, best to leave before it starts.Mine wanted me put me in a metal ward and our son 30 year old in jail trying to get him to fight with him.So everything she is saying is TRUTH. I left 40 years married.
I was with him for 25 yrs till he ran off, best thing he ever did useless pos, run and don’t look back!!! blessings 🌸
Everything u need is in you!
You have amazing insight Melanie! Thank you for all that you do and the support that you give to this community.
Narc wife, who puts on the act of a religious fanatic, likes to say she's in a spiritual battle, but I'm not certain which side she represents!
After 56 years, I finally see what Is going on. I have never really known a relationship that was healthy. It is horrible.
One thing to keep in mind after the discard and they try coming back and they show up at your house and have no business being there, you have a right to call authorities on them, especially when authorities told them to stay off, thats not a reaction, its self preservation and safety. Dont be afraid to stand your ground.
You have broken a cycle that I’ve experienced for so many years. Thank you so much 🥺
Thanks again, Melanie! ❤️🦋❤️
I was laid up in bed with post viral syndrome, and my narc friend wanted help with something. She knew I was ill but still asked me for a big favour. I said no.
Backtrack a few weeks when I'd left her my debit card in a cafe to pay while I went outside for a cigarette.
The evening after I had said I was too ill to help her, someone tried to use the same debit card online to pay for purcheses. She was the only one who knew the card details. and as I don't use that card online as a rule, my info was unlikely to have been harvested from the net. Also,. she know i'm a recovering alcohol and haven't had a drink in 12 years, and the attempted purchase was mostly alcohol, obviously to be sent to my address. Luckily, my bank flagged the unusual payment and blocked it. Sounds unbelievable to a normal person, but this is the kind of thing they do.
Have you ended the friendship? You need to distance yourself from that individual, what an evil thing to do to a 'friend'.
@@luckysaira4470 yes, I haven't seen her since this incident. There were many other incidents leading up to this one, but this is the one that finally decided me to end it with her. x
Absolutely true that they try to feed off your life and soul force! Mine even told me he " liked it when i was drained" . And i have learned to leave my ego behind.keep helping us Mel. Because its hell to go through. We need you. Thank you 💛
Wow wish I saw this video last month when my former best friend of 13 yrs sent me a condescending text message, ending our friendship, and I reacted because she hurt my feelings on purpose 🙄
This phrase really hit home: "soul-rape" - that was exactly it.
Hi Melanie, thank you for your time and posting this video. This is off your subject today but it was something that I wanted to get out in the open if you will. One of the many unsettling things, I’m not a clinical psychologist but strongly feel I was entangled with a malignant narcissist and if you are familiar with that they overlap with psychopathy. As you well know all the games and deception and lying and the emotional trauma that goes into that for the intended target or victim. What this is all about, is it poses an extreme challenge upon trying to solicit help from law enforcement and those who are in authority. As many of us are well familiar with and have suffered through the constant lies and shenanigans of these cruel and wicked individuals is trying to get the right kind of assistance/relief for protection in these dire situations. At best they may offer a little bit of sympathy, but cannot do anything legally for “no crime has or is being manifested openly at the time. This is extremely disheartening and terrifying for the individual who has been in probably for sometime under the horrific abuse of the narcissist whether it be through stalking, threats, control, isolation, withholding of things that pertain to their basic human rights and survival. This is an extremely unsettling space to exist in especially with the feeling of one’s safety being threatened on a daily if not multiple times in a daily setting. It seems in my experience, that the police authorities cannot assist in any kind of intervention until after the crime has been committed. And by then it is too late and this is exemplified by target who have actually lost their lives. And when push comes to shove and I know in your testimony you’ve experienced this as you’re watching the very foundations of your life being destroyed and need outside help/intervention and assistance..what can be done when that intervention is not there. To use an analogy, it’s like discovering you’re trapped in a den of lions. You can talk all day to others until you’re blue in the face that hey my life is the mortal danger and the only response you’ll get is well the lion hasn’t chewed you up yet. And it doesn’t matter if you say it’s not a question of if but a question of when And once the Lions decide to eat you up... then the authorities step in. I’m not here to make law enforcement responsible for the narcissistic abuse, but it sure as heck highlights that the current laws or lack thereof emplaced really needTo change on this because many targets and victims including children have suffered unnecessarily at the hands of narcissist. Where had someone had the foresight, understanding, perception, and the danger with these vile individuals perhaps some things could’ve been done differently. Does that make sense?
I went through that for ten years with my ex, who would weaponize her criminal adult grandson against me, to "enforce" the yes, whenever I would say no to giving her all my disability money, so she could buy him cars while we often had nothing at all to drive. (He couldn't use the city bus to get around when he would force his way in on us, because the bus schedule stops at 10 PM, and he needed the car to deal drugs all night). All this culminated in his having split my head open with a large kitchen appliance over $15 I didn't have, since I paid part of the deposit on the house rent and the utilities. The court system (being this is California, and he is a mixed race minority), only gave him 90 days in a work program, and 3 years probation, for threatening to, and almost killing me. In my way of thinking, it was attempted murder, but the court saw otherwise, impeaching my testimony as a "hostile witness", because I wanted to tell the truth, and not let the defense attorney put words in my mouth.
Yes! This video has given me strength this week, thank you Melanie 💐
Excellent video, Melanie! Spot on in so many ways. I'm grateful for your insight albeit through the suffering you've experienced. God bless and protect you. ❤🌷
How bloody sad geez how can people do that to another..
Hitting the Nail on the head
So do we should’ve hit them on they’re heads
@@rickcruz7967 Haa
they will love the attention = supply .. #insanity
Hi Melanie ..haven’t listened to this vid yet but I wanted to come to a newer one real quick - my mom fell a bit ago and that’s significant because 1) she was the first female to just smother me and pound my self esteem but also be the proud parent with the athletics to others. She doesn’t treat me like that anymore .. 2) I feel like there’s a sense of clarity now almost urgency regarding healing me. You know years ago I purchased your NARP program but instead of starting it I decided to become emotionally entangled with my therapist who turned out to be BPD ( post pathological narc/ cluster B extraordinaire) then walk from that an become a recluse - and also address my gender dysphoria and change careers after 2 decades. Anyway ! You look like a shiny new penny and your vids are so on point for where I’m at - it’s absurd ! ..I’ll hit this vid tomorrow as I’m sure it will also hit home ✌️🙂
We react because they use shame they Sheamus shame is a very powerful weapon of the devil
I needed to hear this so much! Noone could ever describe it better. I was punished cruelly for anything I did in the last months of our mariage. He used all my childhood trauma information that I confessed him. I was thrown down from the goddess piedestal to garbage in a blink of an eye. Also, dear Melanie, I would love if you could explain how is it possible that this person turned me from a very enthusiastic person into someone who is in a very dark place now, wondering what the purpose of life is anyway after this experience. Thanks
Your purpose in life is to stand up and stay strong and show him he is damaged control goods not you .Go no CONTACT and DESTROY him no contact destroys this type of peaple.
I want to see it I want her to feel the same pain I have to go through during disvaluation stage and discard
IKR!!
Rick, the trick is that they don't feel anything...🤭
You are so beautiful inside and out! I love watching you and your passion! You’ve given me so much hope! Thank you 🙏💞🥰 I left my narcissistic husband a few weeks ago. We have a baby and family home which I’ve struggled to pay for on my own all these years. Luckily I called police on him first. He threatened to lie and take everything from me including my freedom. I got a lawyer and started process . But the ptsd is real...the trauma still there...and his family and others trying to make me believe it was me and this is a normal breakup and I’m being cruel etc...which is not true but it’s messing with my head and making me question. They want me to sell the home so he gets money, 1/2 custody so he can mess with my baby and doesn’t have to pay for him and for me to not testify against him in court for the assault charges. No way! But i feel like I’m getting infected. 😟
@Sonia Williams Thank you! I'm definitely going to start NARP Program. I am worried about court only because of how manipulative he is! He's a master at it!! I can't stand dishonesty and manipulation!! I don't care what his family thinks of me...or anyone else. I've been strong in that. But it's they are all seeping the idea he's done nothing and its me...and to feel sorry for him. It's hard not to fall for it when you're trying to heal from trauma and are a major empath 😟
Lady butterfly . Sorry to hear this . N contact works . It's hard especially cos have baby . ♥️🙏
Everyone on here stay strong . I'm being smeared but no contact works . Love self head high shoulders back . Be someone not to b messed with . Bullet proof 🤩.
its AS IF YOU WERE DESCRIBING my ordeal with my covert narc husband. Had NO IDEA this level of evil EXISTED
I know right - I went insane with it and one of the main reasons was I thought I was the only one. I don’t find it comforting that there are so many of us but it is great to know there is a framework out of it. Go well
Good on you Lisa congratulations ! It's so inspiring to hear these success stories I always feel like I either don't deserve it or I couldn't do it .. or I was the narc I just feel like I can do this now thank you ! How do you not react to stolen and defaced property . His even been planting things in my bedroom when I accuse him
Thank you for great information, after so many years I realized it is not me it is wife, you explain exactly my wife action what she was and is doing to me. I am blamed for everything.
Thank you thank you, you opened my eyes and my mind.
LOL,"Never wrestle with a PIG ,you'll only get dirty and the PIG enjoys it. 😭 So true!!
That is a great outcome for Lisa.. God bless
Your work is awesome and effective! Thank you!!!!!
Thanks for this video! I wish there was a way for you to reach Britney Spears, seems like she needs you badly with all her issues.
You might be able to share this with her somehow. She probably gets lots of messages though. Yes, I agree. Melanie is great and oh so helpful dealing with these devils.
Once you get away, don't look back.
This is a God send thank you for sharing this information.
The cycle of this relationship is unfathomable.
I'm only fresh escaped.
I'm struggling with my responsibilities of My part in this relationship.
I have WASTED SO MUCH OF MYSELF AND LIFE ..
I've lost so much.
You can get back up. Look at Melania,she did it, and she's bouncing back! You can too!!! Take the anger and pain and use it to motivate yourself to Keep Going. See TH-cam video,When Life Hurts. I'll be praying for you. 🙏💛💛 Xx. Sending love, strength, support and healing and hugs your way. 🤗🤗🤗
This is happening to me right now. Oh God help me through all this. Thank you for this video. Needed badly more advices. I'm in court to court right now. I work 40 hrs and the other person is always a problem creator and don't even want to work regular hrs. And wanted to reach goal to be a primary with kids. Just so exhausting! Ugh!
Wow hugs to you, your a survivor
Thanks to the tools in this video , I am aware ! Thanks
👍♥️ Melanie
Dear Melanie! Can you please make a video on enmeshed mother son relationships? And what effects it has on a husband wife relationship when the husband is enmeshed with his mom. Are there some chances to live a normal marriage life ever again? His mother is a 100% narcicist and i suffered a lot the last years. Thank you ❤️
Accurate
Thank you Melanie
You tell like astrologer
Knowing this when I was younger would have helped me so much. It helps me now too, but it would have saved me a ton more pain before I understood how to stop reacting. "Soul R*pe" is totally correct.
So true! 💐💐💐
It's theoretically good idea not to react, but when I applied that, they start to hit you and punch you until you loose it. Insane beyond any imagination. You just have to leave them for good.
Thank you, Melanie
My father was unreasonably jealous with my mother the way you describe wss the case with your first narc husband. Of course I now realize that my father was a narcissist. I had a boyfriend who showed some of this behaviour.. I think I had narcissist radar because when I saw certain behaviors in anyone I was dating I dropped them as I did this one.
You are incredible helpful!!!!! Thanks!!! Can we apply this with people at work. I have to work as a team and she seats a meter away from me For me it’s difficult when they are crushing my boundaries. I know that if I put up a fight is going to be bad, but if I don’t stand for myself is bad too. Can you give me a piece of advice? Thanks!!!!!!! You are amazing!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you!❤
Good stuff
Her boyfriends behavior sounds more like early stage alheimers. My mother n law used to act like that and we hadn’t realized until 10-15 years later it was early alheimers. Probably her insecurities played a part but enhanced her paranoia due to the disease that wasn’t diagnosed yet
Most people are bothered by one narcissist. Here in my place there are many groups of narcs operating as gangs, cartels and mobs.
My narc lost me a long time ago & doesn’t even know it 🤣
Agree, don't play in the mud.
I protected myself from all the Narcissist in my life by cutting them out of my Trust. Stupid Narcissist cost themselves millions.
Wow your videos are deep
My ex said he left because I accused him of cheating I just found a womens goods in his car.?
Due to their jealousy they hurt and punish victims
What do you do if they are controlling you by hurting and killing your pets? It's very hard to detach from something like that.
Vampires
I love this video, Melanie. Can you tell me which modules to focus on to rid myself of the trauma of having everything I attempt sabotaged, undermined and just overall ruined or weakened? It doesn't matter if I pay for it, do the work, preparation or invest in it, it gets undermined, ruined and sabotaged and smeared. This is daily. I'm trying to focus on self. I've included prayer to assist in achieving peace but I know that the great teamwork is using the NARP also. Please respond.
Jenny its always Module 1 or SH and R to do specific targeted work on self. Unless it can fit nicely into another Module, but 1 and SH and R are just as powerful anyway. Are you in NARP Forum asking for help? xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans I'm going to see. I hope so. I need guidance on how to heal from these "things" mocking and laughing at me and bragging that my friends are not my friends and they are fake friends b/c they've used their monies to bribe everyone I know and turn them against me. Then their disgusting 🤮 feelings of so-called jealousy that people like me naturally and they don’t have that. Since when was police peer and public funds supposed to be used in this way? No accountability for WM cops. That is extremely traumatic and illegal. Huge violations of human rights. I'll keep trying to use the modules, prayer and the Bible to heal from these illegalities and human rights violations by breaking trauma bonds, soul ties/contracts, and psychic chords. Hopefully, that will give me relief while they try to sabotage all of my attempts at relationships including business and personal and financial. They keep re-traumatizing me by even telling people not to even call me by my first name. 😕 Can you imagine the embarrassment of being associated with this degree of sickness and mental illness from complete strangers? All I know is every time they do it it is a reminder that I have more spiritual, energetic and psychic work to do to heal. At their daily “actions” remind me to do that. Smh
I just make a whistling sound it sounds like rushing air in the narcates it next door.
ONE Thumbs Down, courtesy of your unfriendly neighborhood malignant narcissist😄
tommy d There's three of them now and I'm sure that it will continue to grow! 🙂
@@cyndigooch1162 haters gonna hate😄
I observe narc people but avoid their company, they create negative emotions. Devils do not like politeness , they punish othrs ,they r destructive in nature
One thing they also really hate is when you forgive them, let go and act civilly. They go out of their way to hook you back in.
God bless you. I am happy we got away.
The world is becoming narc due to narcissistic people, the innocent should b saved
Is causing a narc injury a good thing?
✨🙏🏼✨
How about... not walking you into surgery. Just sitting out in the car while you have surgery. Not there when the surgery is over to walk you back out to the car. Not asking how do you feel, are you in pain, how did it go? Nothing! Never!
Melanie..I need to work with you! Are you accepting new clients?
Thanks trying hard to Let go
Melania lost everything but SHE GOT BACK UP. Don't give up!!! Educate everyone about these monsters and how they work. DON'T let them destroy who you are or cause you to commit suicide. Get back UP.Dont let a psycho evil monster take away who you are. Mines trying to get me ADDICTED to DRUGS. Putting drugs in my food. Ewwww.
I will try not to take you literally with the off with the head part.
These videos are all geared towards a narc partner but not a narc parent 😢
8:40 soul rape mmm..... How painfully accurate
I have told you you didn't win, you lose in a very lousy way, you don.t fight in a fair way, and lose in a fair way, you play dirty, murder also plan how to win?
♥️😓
I discovered that narcissist's are being controlled by evil spirits the way you defeat evil is with the light of Jesus.
V can't enjoy life with narc they r real prob creatrs
... hmm Lisa went to her mothers ?! ... who ” made ” her to an empath / codep. ..?!! ...her father?! 🤔
xxoo
💞🙏
Dump them.