French Dining: Table Manners & Etiquette
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ค. 2017
- Learn about French dining etiquette and all the do’s and don’ts of eating with French people - weird superstitions, unwritten rules, vocabulary and more.
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Did you know that cutting cheese improperly is almost blasphemous in France?
The dinner table has a central place in French culture - so it is really important to be aware of the essential table manners that apply wherever you eat or dine in France. Chances are, you could have been unintentionally breaking one of these etiquettes!
In this video we're covering the french dining etiquette do's and don'ts. Including weird superstitions, unwritten dining rules, some basic french table vocabularies, strange cutlery and even ways to compliment for the good food!
Let’s dig in!
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=== ABOUT GÉRALDINE ===
Bonjour ! I’m Géraldine Lepère, the founder of Comme une Française (= “Like a French woman”) and your new French best friend. :)
Each Tuesday, I share a fun, fresh and bite-sized lesson on French language and French culture-from how to avoid embarrassing mistakes to must-know pop-cultural references!
Since 2012, with more than 7 million views from students in more than 56 countries, I’ve been helping people just like you gain the confidence to really talk in French. I help you go way beyond your “textbook” French from high school, and learn to speak real, practical everyday French.
Keep in touch! You can email me with any questions or to simply say “bonjour” at geraldine@commeunefrancaise.com
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When you mentioned the ice rule I laughed so hard!
My grandfather fills his wine glass to the top with ice and then pours wine AROUND it! My boyfriend is French, and the look on his face when he saw was priceless!!!
I would never add ice to wine (sangria excepted), but as an American, can I ask how the French feel about ice generally, in water or soda or other drinks? In my experience, the British and Irish are a bit weird about it.
@@falcychead8198 That's intriguing, weird how? I don't know about the French but in Norway I always have to ask to _not_ get ice with soda or water in restaurants, cafes, pubs. They just assume you want it.
In the summer it is normal to receive or request some ice cubes with white and rosé wine when dining outside. It's not such a big deal - if you are at home and say the white / rosé is not chilled.
@@falcychead8198 Max 2 ice cubes per glass.
My mom pours ice into her wine--it's so embarrassing at restaurants!
I love how you use French phrases pertaining to what you’re talking about, and then explain what they mean in English. That’s a fantastic!
The first time I went to France I stayed with a Moroccan family so they had mixed manners. For a typical meal they used essentially the French manners. But one night we had a communal family dinner and much more casual (maybe Moroccan?) manners were observed. We all ate from the same giant bowl. It was a great hybrid culture experience!
that's not it..even in Morocco we have "mixed" manners that i thought were purely moroccan until now like the elbows on table or starting before the host (here you can't even enter the house before him cuz it's impolite)..and the giant bowl thing is the one typical moroccan thing hah
Don't you love that!
Excellent advice! You can't go too far wrong by saying "merci" and "s'il vous plait", and paying attention to the cues from your host and tablemates. I also enjoy the enthusiasm with which the lessons are presented.
I can never say thank you and please enough, and thanks to my slight Caribbean accent, people, especially shop keepers in France are very kind to me -- it's a curiosity for them. Or maybe they think I am very poor. I spoke French and English as a child, but in school, my French teachers were monks from either Haiti or Martinique. My mom tried to fix that, but now she figured out that it 's charming or something.
You’re the best I’ve seen on this subject: you put the French terms used whether expressions or vocab, repeated the French pronunciation twice (as if reading my preference on this point), and demonstrated in action. One draw back (even tho others had done this last point) you stood not in front of a table
Oh my God, keeping my hands above the table is so difficult! It feels like the exact inverse of what I was taught as a child. .. The rest is exactly the same.
It's the same here in Germany, i.e. hands above the table at all times, but even after forty happy years in Bavaria I still (as a Brit) catch myself hiding my hands - demurely, as I wrongly imagined - in my lap.So hard to break habits like this which have been drummed into you!
Good table manners vary from one country to another. When I was younger I found anglo-Saxon table manners rude. For some rules, there is always a logical explanation. In France during a meal, keeping your hands from the wrist on the table and close around your plate is a sign of good table manners and a must; an etiquette of time gone past when it was necessary to show that you came with peaceful intentions and were not hidding a weapon under the table. No elbows on the table, nowadays an exception is accepted for ladies who can put their elbows slightly on the edge of the table to show their rings (ridiculous but that’s that). May I add that I still have a problem with people keeping one hand on their lap!
Another rule concerning setting a table. Though it's generally the same all over the Western world; forks are on the left, spoons and knives on the right and the cutlery is placed according to the order of use/menu and used from the outside, with a slight difference in France. Contrary to the UK, all kind of forks are put spikes down and the spoons with the shallow bowl turned down as the coat of arms used by the aristocracy and high society has always been engraved on the back of the handle so we put forks and spoons tips down for the coat of arms to be visible by all the guests. With or without coat of arms, this tradition has been kept.
@@francinesicard464 fascinating!
My husband will resist most of this. I know having my hands on the table will be difficult. I've been to France a few times, no one informed me. My mother was pretty on top of etiquette, she taught us from the start and we lived in many countries. I'm surprised that one got past her. Merci Géraldine! :-)
Wonderful video!
By the way, “rind” rhymes with mind.
Visited France recently and this is so accurate that made me laugh. One thing I did was to cut my portion of the cheese right along the crust, thinking it was the least favorite part, next thing I noticed is everyone at the table stopped what they were doing and were staring at me in their most judging way...Ooops, je suis vraiment désolé
In greece we really eat however we want, we can be loud and we only have a fork and a knife (or a spoon for soups). we can add anything we want too. If the food was nice we will compliment it but usually the host asks if it was nice before we answer
yeah lmao were especially loud 🤣
I appreciate that you shared this with us. It's so important to know the rules before you break them!
Great to know French table/guest manners ❤️ In Philippines 🇵🇭 in an informal setting, mostly we talk loudly, sometimes everyone talks all at the same time and yet we understood each hahaha. We have le grand gests. It's a feast 😂 and I love it. Love love your channel. Merci 😊
Yeah, like in fiesta!
thank you for new lessons our great teacher
merci beaucoup
Amazing channel and teaching! Thank you!
You are just fantastic! Thanks for the great lesson!!!
I love your channel. Thank you so much for continuing my French education. I am enjoying every video💕
This is sooooo important!! Thank you for this vid!
Every lesson is interesting, thank you
Merci!
Thank you.
Thank you very much and many blessings !
Merci, Geraldine!
Hi from Ireland Geraldine, just wanted to say you as a teacher, and your channel are brilliant, a super resource I enjoy, and really find so helpful.... merci!
Lovely video. Thank you very much
Merci bien Geraldine. Comme toujours, cétait une excellente leçon.
the BEST video especially the written French
Merci Géraldine
I was a host student in France, and at the first meal we said "chin chin!" to celebrate my arrival and I made the mistake of trying to say it again the next night because I didn't know it was only for parties or celebrations 😂
It's fine. Just don't say that in Japan.
@@professionalprocrastinator8103 isn't it penis in Japanese? Japanese students told me never to say it when we saw a restaurant in Los Angeles called Chin Chin's. We had a laugh.
These are so helpful! I am hoping to move to France one day, I'm American, but I want to learn as much of the language as possible and these videos are so helpful for learning about the culture as well as the language. Merci!
Merci beaucoup pour ce vidéo! I'm going to stay with a french family for about three weeks in the next month and this video was so helpful for me! 😇
Stefanie Zilke That's so cool!
Oh thanks, I loved it! Always good to know! Personally when I am a guest amongst my very diverse group of friends or traveling I rely on the manners I learned in France where I lived during my college years as opposed to the American ones I was brought up with. Moe classy and can't go wrong..if too formal I can adapt them!
Wish I had seen this video before I studied abroad in France, the tip about how to properly cut the cheese could have come in handy. Les Francais prennent leur fromages tres sériuesement!
Please, my mother and her whole family are from France and when they see some P'tit Basque on the table, they dive in like maniacal squirrels. Otherwise, they are basically well-mannered.
Your channel is so unique, I love it!
When I visited a family in France and we sat down for the main meal, they served a soup. Thinking this was the main dish, I took seconds of the soup. Then the next course appeared. And thinking this was the main dish, I ate more than I normally would IF I would have known that more courses were on their way. It was a great cultural lesson, even thought I felt horribly full afterwards. What is the typical number of courses to expect in France?
always excellent. it's a long "i" in cheese rind. it's like u're pronouncing the name of the letter.
So glad to have found this channel - there is so much to learn :D :D :D merci
Thank you for this video! We are in France for a month and doing our best to learn the etiquette before we go to a restaurant. Merci! 😄
Thank you for the video . I am from El Salvador , in my culture table manners are very important. I took etiquette lesson since I was a teenager. J’ apprends Le François depuis huit mois 😁 alors ,apprendre l’etiquette en François is tres intèressant. Vous êtes un bin professeur.
I love the subtitles. They narrate a story about brains and the T-word.
I stumbled across this by accident. I wasn't even trying to learn French. But I struggle with learning languages so I love this format. I think I learn French after all!
merci pour le vocabulaire
Oh so these are actually the basic table manners that i already follow since childhood! Good to know~! Merci~~♥
Brilliant
Response second question, I have many experiences dining with French people, but never recognized a lot...and now I will start looking to find them :) Thank you x
Not eating with your mouth full is a class thing, in the UK anyway. It's always the thing parents drum into their children from an early age. However, as an adult when asked a question in the middle of a mouthful, it's weird to have the chewy fast thing and rolling of eyes to try to finish the mouthful so to answer the question can be seen as very bourgeoise and over-proper. I have experienced the upper classes taking smaller mouthfuls, then if need be pushing the food to the side of the mouth and then replying glancing at who is speaking to you, but not fully facing them. Then when the other person speaks, the other finishes their food. It works well and is more natural in my opinion.
J'aime la nourriture Français. C'est riche. Merci et à plus yard.
*typographical error: a plus tard
These are the same as we were taught at home. Perhaps because my Granny's dad was French and she was our good manners coach!
Ma famille d'acceuille (my host parent) followed all of these rules en nom dieu. If I made one error she would tell me right off. I always ate bread with cheese as far as I can go only because of my French grandmother. And she made sure that lunch was the main meal. She called it supper. I will do anything to return to France. It is home to me. It's always been apart of my life.
I adore your accent.
Just recently found this channel- really enjoying improving my knowledge of French language- especially in the vernacular!👍 🇫🇷
Are these ‘manners’ specifically French tho..?
Apart from the cheese, I’d say they represented a good ‘general standard’ of politeness and awareness/appreciation, etc.
Certainly, we were raised in this way .. 🇬🇧
Cet video est très bon, Merci Géraldine.
CoCo
I hope this isn't late, but I only found your channel in the last 12 months! My daughter stayed with a family before commencing her studies in France. They told us that one leaves their piece of bread on the table. My instinct was to keep the piece of bread on the plate to avoid leaving crumbs on the table. I always wondered about that!
I already plan to watch this again. So much good information. My big problem: how to keep your hands visible without putting your elbows on the table! This tends to be an issue in the Southern United States as well.
Just put your wrist/forearm on the edge of the table, simple! ☺
Thank you for these videos. They are very informative and helpful. These rules of French etiquette are similar to America, but it depends on the family. Some families are more strict, and some are more chill. You teach French in an interesting way. I will continue to watch your videos as I learn about French culture and language. 🙂
It's the same in France, i mean you don't have to follow all those rules everytime, maybe if you are invited in Elysée palace or in some high class restaurants... Anyway nothing bad gonna happen to you if you break one of those rules. ;)
Yes, the rules are almost identical in the United States. Although I’ve never heard to keep your hands above the table. We are told to keep them in our laps.
It’s tricky to know how to place your cutlery to indicate you’ve finished eating. In England we place the knife and for together, pointing away from you, fork prongs uppermost, knife blade facing the fork. We do not prop the cutlery on the edge of the plate with the handles on the table, let alone the whole knife\fork on the table. We rarely use cutlery rests and use fresh cutlery for every course. We’ll that’s the theory, but table manners change over time.
Thank you for the interesting lessons. All the rules are familiar to us in Finland, but I think the etiquette is not followed so strictly and at least family meals are not very formal. I have been in France several times, but never had the chance to have a meal with French people.
I was on holiday in France and made lunch for my son's girlfriend's father and his partner with very poor cooking facilities. He said afterwards without looking at me 'Pas Mal' and didn't thank me for the meal. I thought him very rude until I saw your video that said "pas mal" can be a good complement. The manners you teach are the same I learned growing up in New Zealand. But then I went to a convent run by french nuns:)!
When I stayed with a host family in France we were taught to place our fork and knife in a specific manner on the plate to indicate that we were finished eating. At '12' and '3' if I remember correctly - it was many years ago.
in Indonesia, usually we eat on the floor called "lesehan" or you can eat on the table (mostly in diningroom, livingroom(when you are eating and watching TV), eat using by hands or spoon (it's rare that people eat by using fork)..... well, it seems doesn't have manner (in daily life) than french complex etiquette , but we like simplicity, we don't want to make it much complex for only eating the food....
I like the chicken on roller skates near the end of the video.
Now I know why I have such refined manners and am most sensitive about following all you mention, Geraldine. It is in my French DNA!
One difference: in the UK if we have a dessert and cheese we eat the cheese at the end. My French and Swiss visitors normally eat cheese first (to clean the palate) and then the dessert.
Great thanks. By the way rind is pronounced like r-eye-nd. Not like in, opposite of out
I am American and had bread and cheese with my French father-in-law. Unfortunately, ar the end of the meal, I cut my cheese with my fork and he went ballistic. I wish I saw this video first. I think you are wise to tell people to follow the lead of the host. Si je peu dir, bon bulot. Tres bien.
Merci ! Ma famille est française et j'ai appris toutes ces règles lorsque j'étais jeune (sans relâche). Cependant, quand vous les entendez tous ensemble, cela rend le son français très particulier. Ma femme est italienne et je ne pense pas qu’ils aient une seule règle de bonnes manières à table (peut-être une seule - mettez toute la nourriture et les boissons sur la table dans votre bouche le plus rapidement possible). Elle pense que toutes ces règles sont folles.
Merci pour votre etiquette video. :) Mon Mere said demi de quose a moi early en mon vie. The ice en Savignon et Champagne I agree avec vous. No one en their droit mind would add ice to Blance ou Champagne.
J'ai trouvé cette vidéo très intéressante surtout parce que j'habite actuellement à Paris avec une famille comme une au pair ! Mais en fait, ma famille n'est pas hyper strict à la table, pas du tout ! :P
Very interesting video ! Actually, when you're in a restaurant and loved the food, you can ask the staff to compliment the chef (and it may happen that the staff allow you to talk to the chef yourself, for instance when you're amongst the last clients). It's never a bad thing to say thank you :).
In Holland it’s much the same (except for the cheese cutting). In fact, I was brought up with even stricter table manners, as my grandmother was from a venerable old family and her standards tricled down to me. Cutting potatoes with a knife was forbidden, soup had to be sipped from the side of the spoon and scooped up away from your body without making a sound, silverware placed on the side of the plate while resting on the table like rowing oars was strictly prohibited. Sitting straight without touching the back rest of the chair was compulsory. Needless to say elbows on the table warranted summary execution by firing squad.
Last year I dined with a French old friend and he told me of a mysterious custom involving the salt cellar. When I asked him to pass me the salt, he refused to give it to me directly, but put it on the table before me. He said it would be bad luck to hand it to me. Is this a French thing? I had never heard of it before.
Hi Joost! Spilling salt gives "bad luck." So it's safer to put the salt on the table instead of giving it directly. So it became "bad luck" to give it directly. I've never met anyone who had that superstition, but I did hear about it :)
(- Arthur, writing for Comme une Française)
Many old British rules in there, as well. The soup, placing of cutlery, sitting up straight, elbows, eating peas by spearing them, not turning the fork over and using it as a shovel, eating pudding [one does not call it 'dessert' my dear] with a fork in the right hand and possibly a spoon in the left, depending on how runny the pudding is.
The same rules in all Europe, i just have one question: where do u keep your knife and fork when u must take a whine glass or bread with your hands if resting them on the side of the plate like rowing oars is prohibited? That i have never heard in mh life. We keep them exactly like that between shoveling food in the mouth - on the side of the plate. Where do u?
@@bambinaforever1402 you are meant to keep your cutlery on your plate while not in use. They’re not supposed to touch the tablecloth.
I’m glad that smoking at the table is not ‘a thing’ these days, but my first 3 years in France (2003-2005) I suffered very badly with smokers imposing their smoke on me in every restaurant (and never mind the non-smoking areas: the smoke didn’t respect those rules).
Just curious (nothing to do with dining manners)- is the room from which you film your living room or a stage set? It seems small and I am charmed by the way people use small spaces....
J etait reste avec une famille francais pour une semaine juillet dernier merci pour votre video
I follow the same guidelines in England. It sounds like common sense to me.
Same for me in USA
Most of these are common sense in the US, except for the bread and cheese stuff (that's interesting), and not eating before the cook/host. If you wait for the host at my house, you'll go hungry bc I don't often eat right away after I cook, and sometimes not at all.
The putting things on the table was also an new one though. The elbow rule is the same here, but setting your phone down doesn't seem to be a faux pas THAT I know of.
I went to Paris and would ask for a table for two (me and my grandmother) at restaurants and often the person I would ask would often just look around at empty tables. As if to imply “there are lots of tables, just pick one”
Is it common just to seat yourself?
I already knew that French table manners were generally taken quite seriously, its just so different from American table manners! The elbows not allowed on the table are the same but usually, we keep our hands in our lap until everyone is served and then we pray depending on whose house you are in, even if your not religious yourself and dont do this in your own house.
Grew up in Denmark,same manners,Now I am in USA,a little different,thank you so much
Maybe you cover this in another video, but my French colleagues eat EVERYTHING with a fork. Burgers, pizza, EVERYTHING.
It used to be said that the way you spot Brits in the US: they are eating burgers/pizzas with cutlery. Tho' that may not be the case any more as the Brits now eat mountains of burgers/pizzas
CC
People chewing with mouth open triggers my misophonia. I have always wondered about where table manners developed. This was interesting. Waiting on host, using cutlery properly, not speaking with food in your mouth or chewing with mouth open, no elbows on the table-I am more lax about this one as long as the person ( my kids) don't look like they are guarding their food, and expressing thanks to the host is a must, these were imparted to me by my mother, ...and now I have become engaged to a part French Canadian woman who has the same manners...what a blessing.
I have noticed that in Europe it is not usual to say grace before eating. In 'The South' in America it is common, if there is a priest, minister or bishop present they are asked to say the blessing. One waits for the hostess to start eating, as well. While in Europe I noticed that certain "Americanisms" have crept in, such as snacks before dinner instead of a proper first course. Without a formal grace at a dinner and snacks before the meal it was impossible to tell if the dinner was started or if one had to wait. Service at formal dinners in Europe was blindingly SLOW owing to lack of proper coordination, not so in America where everything has to flow properly.. It is useful to know that at Buckingham Palace one must NEVER comment on the food, heaven knows why as they have had some noteable cooks in the past. However The Duke of Edinburgh always went to the kitchens to thank the staff.
What would you say if you felt a bit sick and didn't want eat the food? "Thank you for the food but unfortunately I don't feel well enough to eat right now."? Or something else? Sometimes, especially in the winter, you may not feel well enough to eat but you still may walk around and go about most of your day as usual. Best be prepared in case of a situation like this so you don't appear rude.
the more polite should be to inform your host, the earlier you can, before coming or in just arriving, that you came, but are a bit sick, and couldn't eat as usual. You can also try to eat just a very small portion of food (to enjoy the food), but don't fill your plate ! if you are served, you can say, please, just a small portion, as i don't feel very well.
But if you are contageous, may be you should not came, if you can, not to contaminate your host and his guests....
I once went put my water bottle on the table as we arrived at a French restaurant in Paris and my French sister-in-law about flipped out.
I was told long ago that the napkins at the end can be folded in ways to give compliments to the chef, or signal you didn't like the food. Is that common? How to do those?
Vos boucles d'oreilles sont très beaux ! Merci pour cette vidéo madame !
I grew up in a Swedish speaking family here in Finland, and I haven to say, our rules are quite the same! In our culture it’s quite common with different kinds of dinner parties and going even fine dining, and I guess we imported these rules from France. So, it all feels quite familiar! Our ranges of different dishes would be smaller though, with a smaller set of cutlery and so on.
Do you have some special rules regarding the handkerchief, would that be le serviette in French?
Thank you David. I put it on my lap.
@@Commeunefrancaise the same in Finland - on your lap
Bonjour Géraldine. Ça va bien j'espère. Just a little clarification:
Is it "des grands gestes" or "de grands gestes" which is grammatically correct?
Same rules in my country🇩🇰
My (dutch) grandfather used to ask us to come to dinner saying in french “ On est prié de venir à table!” Then once we were seated, and my grandmother was seated too, jokingly: “Bon appetit et moi aussi!”
My own father used to say, as a recommendation I suppose: “La cuisinière a goûté!”
The fold in your skin on the inside of your wrist was explained as meant to fit exactly on the edge of the table😁.
I mean bon professeur
Doing this for class ;c
I've found that saying 'excusez-moi' results in amusement while 'pardonnez-moi' doesn't.
The Werewolf Yes. This may be true. Pardonnez-moi, is like saying forgive me, or excuse what I've just done while excusez-moi is more for trying to get through a crowd perhaps. They're remotely the same but def different.
Very interesting video, Geraldine. I'm Italian and I live in Spain, and I can say that most of what you say is similar in Italy (except we don't take "don't talk too loud" too seriously). I have a couple of questions:
-I get that you shouldn't pour your first glass of wine. But what about a refill? Are you supposed to wait for the host again? I wouldn't like to be the host if I have to refill everybody's glasses...
-What about sharing food? In Spain it is acceptable that in restaurants (at cheap and medium priced ones, probably not elegant ones), people swap their dishes if they want. I always do that with my girlfriend, so we can try different dishes. In Italy, instead, you can try a forkful of someone else's food, but swapping dishes is not well seen (except maybe in informal settings). I'd guess in France it's the same as in Italy, isn't it?
Thank you! I really love your channel!
Portions in France are so small that it is hardly enough for u. Never seen anyone swapping anything
Most of these rules were common in my family. Especially when it comes to putting elbows on the table. I got my head smacked several times by my father for doing that.
Well, I'm Dutch but living in France for 14 years. You explained it very well! First time being invited to a French diner with the French it was a culture shock but I very soon adapted, let's say in less than 10 minutes. LOL! Also, never cut the bread that comes with the cheese, just tear a piece off with your hands if it isn't cut in slices up front.
I can't eat bread (or sugar) so never have dessert and I eat cheese without bread which necessitates using a fork! I get usually raised eyebrows... 'pas du pain?' So have to explain every time. Obviously, friends know this but it's virtually every time in a restaurant!
We didn't have such instructions fog eating!
Ok, now I’m terrified to eat lunch with a new friend that’s French!
I didn’t know until now, « ne pas poser le pain à l’envers. » The one important piece of etiquette I learned from my French friend a long time ago was to keep my hands/wrists on the table while dining. Americans are taught at an early age to politely place them on one’s lap, which never made sense to me, even though I’m American myself. I never understood why that was polite. I much prefer French manners over all.