The 5 People You Need To Be Happy | Stacey Flowers | TEDxUNO
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 มี.ค. 2016
- Everyone wants to be happy, but we often don't know how to actually achieve it. Having a supportive network helps but here are the 5 specific people that we all need in our lives to be happy.
Stacey Flowers is an international speaker, business strategist, and author known for connecting happiness to peak performance. Stacey holds a Bachelor’s degree in Paralegal Studies from College of Saint Mary and a Master’s degree in Human Resources from Loyola University. She became the first in her family to graduate high school and pushed on as a first-generation college student, striving to build a legacy for her son and inspire others. In addition to her speaking circuit, Stacey presently consults at Metropolitan Community College in the Equity and Diversity Division where she is responsible for coordinating postsecondary educational resources for underrepresented groups. Stacey’s hope is to teach people to live beyond preconceptions, boundaries, and limiting beliefs.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
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I think it's also just as important to make sure you are at least one of these type of people for someone else... Pay it forward.
I feel like I'm all of these things, for different people:)
That's a great point. I need to be that for my friends.
Jacquie Kudolo i just a 5 monute comerical i was tgumbs upong
I love this comment a 💯times
Girl...Amen
SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL, so charismatic and inspiring!!!! *.*
She has a TH-cam channel about budgeting, happiness, and saving
She is gorgeous
@@OcarinatOfSquids como se llama el canal?
Omg! She’s graciously beautiful 😍
@@salomonsalfate8329 Stacey Flowers
I was in tears watching this. Realizing that my depression was triggered by the passing away of my cheerleader was so overwhelming for me. I miss him beyond words.
@Josephine Bournes ikr💜
Realization is a start to making a move....
Sorry to hear that you lost someone important to you and you've been experiencing prolonged sadness as a result. Just remember the things he said to support you and imagine him saying them to you when you miss him. His spirit is still cheering for you
{{{hugs}}} to you, @ms mrs! You are still loved
Give gratitude for the times you shared.
“Most of us can’t catch happiness because we’re not connected to the right people to inspire us to go after it and get it”
Read this comment JUST AS SHE WAS SAYING IT! *amen*
I love the pace and energy she speaks with
Thank you sooooooo much!
You are welcome, thanks for this awesome framework.
SAMMME!!!! It’s SOOoOO easy to follow.
Me too!!! ❤
i was thinking the same thing the whole time!
The prettiest girl in the world
There are many pretty girls in the world, but she is definitely one gorgeous girl.
what you even mean? i had to increase my phone brightness to see her
Hinemoa GREAT JOB BRO
I am DEAD. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Is meeeee!!😎😎😜😜
Imagine being so gorgeous that you can pull off a bald look
There are people who are lucky enough to find those 5 persons in their life but there are some that even luckier to find all 5 of them in one
Wow your words are so true. I thought about how I don’t have those 5 people, but I have one and I’m super happy. So I started to doubt her theory about those 5 persons and look for someone who does, too, before I realised that she’s right nonetheless. My husband is all of these people :)
and others who can't find anyone
That's very true!
my mom is all of them in one for me
coonect to the right people, ur cheerleader 😊mentor, coach, friend, peer, 😊
Not only is she eloquent, well spoken, and fiercely intelligent but good Lord this women exudes beauty!
Damn...
I've been binge watching ted talks between homeworks the whole evening. I skipped this video for like 3 times in a row and it still ended up automatically playing after another one.
For real, it's the best one i've listened to tonight.
I HAD EXAMS THIS WEEK AND BEEN BINGE WATCHING TED TALKS AS WELL!
agreed 🖤
Ivan Laplante me too!!!!!😂
Right
It hooked me lol
Jesus, she is stunning and brilliant. My GOD.
AMEN sista, AMEN!!!
The 5 people:
Cheerleader - believes in you and supports you even when you don't believe in yourself
Mentor - Your primary guide and teacher
Coach - helps you step outside your comfort zone and reach your potential
Friend - Is there for you
Peer - Understands your career/position and helps you navigate socially
"Happiness must happen before success."
My mom is all 5 of them
IKR MY MOM IS LIKE 3/5
This was my first thought 😂💕
I love moms 😊💕
i was just gonna say that 💕
you're very lucky
4:18 happiness. true, bona-fide, authentic happiness
5:38 optimism
6:10 relationships impact happiness
6:36 the five people
8:05 the toxic people
9:11 looking outside, while you're stuck in adversity/ your head/ not ideal circumstances
9:37 1) cheerleader
10:56 2) mentor. ONE mentor
12:49 3) coach
15:15 4) friend
15:33 5) peer
Thank Uuuuu
Thank you so much
You can tell that the words that people told her that were negative still hurt even though she has healed. See that 1 teacher is all she needed to make that change in her life!!
This was such an inspiring speech. So many people believe happiness is accidental, but it require the intention and actions. thankful for finding those five people and hoping that more people find their Factor Five. Continue to spread this beautiful message Stacey.
+My Fab Finance Thank you so much! I will and you continue to do the same with all your excellent work!!!!
@@StaceyFlowers a 5g u my night
Beautiful!!! I too am part of the young mother crew, had my son when I was 15. My son is 18 now and I am wrapping up my last semester at USC for my Masters in Social Work as I work a full time job at my county’s Bureau of Victim Services. The one person who encouraged me to go to college was my 7 th grade History teacher.
Adriana Tabares congratulations 💝
Wow, amazing 🤍🤍🤍🤍 future MSW here💙
Congratulations! Very happy for you! 💪🏽
The difference between friend and peer just blew my mind. That distinguish gave me so much perception. Major key sis! Thank you!
Damn she is gorgeous. She need to be on the big screen or cover of magazines. That is my kind of lady super gorgeous.
This is irrelevant to her talk
I am my cheerleader, my mentor, my coach, my best friend and my peer. Whether I have this people in my life or not, I'm still a healthy person and I can always be the best version of myself for me and for others. People come and go, especially when you evolve and grow. So thanks to all the people who were these at some chapters of my life and for those who will be, but I gotta keep going whether I have someone in my life or not. I'm with God, and God is in me. That's the most important thing at all 💯
she is just so beautiful inside and out, didn't expect to feel that way
first of all this was amazing second of all HER SKIN HONEYYYYY
I try not to comment on people's looks too much, but Stacy looks like she could be a goddess
it's not the other people that can help you catch happiness; it's yourself
Boom!
Perhaps if I had these 5 relationships, I wouldn't feel so alone. 🤔 Time to do something about it.
here if you need me to be one of those.
The way she says “lightbulb” is sooo cute.
Happiness is unleashing you god given talents to positively affect the world : my new moto.
Same here!
I just read your comment as she was saying it that was awesome just thought I'd share
Sunday, I'm 78. Due to a malfunction, this marks a year being bedridden.
I live with a knindly caretaker who is a little older than me, who cannot keep a sanitary, clean house. I can tolerate messy, but not unsanitary.
I supply all grocery expense which is shopped by the caretaker and my online orders.
There are no other people in my aquaintence, but family and former fellow employees and a few living friends are in the others life, but none on a close level.
From observations over the years, most we aged people experience this isolation. We need the same 5 supporters given here, yet connecting and major living and death changes prove daunting obstacles.
Thank you for this inspiring moment, Sttacey
Wow she’s really strikingly gorgeous
inner beauty is real yall
I dont have any of those 5 peeps. But I surely have "The Holy Spirit"
So those peeps are on their way..
I'm in the same boat. I don't know how to get the 5 people in my life.
But he's a million and all you need though a physical being/person is what u want. But he is all u need
Amen
Amen sister, I was thinking the same thing as I’m listening
You can find a good therapist to be some of this for you. I call myself a cheerleader. I remind clients of greatness. But all 5 of these can be within you. They’re in there.
Who else is crying at ten minutes about the cheerleader story
Me here
I am
This woman is 30 years old. Let's that sink in.
she barely looks 25 T-T
…so…?
Ms. Stacey Flowers is one of the most beautiful humans I have ever seen.
This was great. I'm a teacher, so she grabbed my attention immediately with the story of her guidance counselor. We really can succeed despite the obstacles.
Not sure what to do when I was isolated at a young age and now I don't know how to socialize. I don't even talk to as many as five people regularly.
Baby steps! You can do it. Just learn to ask people about themselves and really listen. You will end up being the best listener people have ever met and they'll love you :-)
@@live4ward Listening is not the problem. .. 🙁
me either
Hi there my friend, there is nothing new under the sun.
The lifes of people who grown up under similar environment CAN be very different. It is all depending on how ones think and do.
Let's talk more to the people you do talk to., as a beginning step before you go to the next level - the stranger....
Best Wishes (from Your Senior in Loner high school) 😀
@@user-ei3fz5gs7j To build connections, you have to spend so much time and I have chronic illness and very limited social skills. And how do people attract those who aren't predatory when you can't hide your many vulnerabilities?
ok hol up she's like one of the most beautiful people i've ever seen like i clicked because i was like woah
I am on vacation and struggling with a break up two days before. I’m so glad I came across this video. She helped me put a few this in perspective and now I feel like I can enjoy Hawaii. 🥰Thank you
When you get married it's all negotiable. Negotiations before I do. A relationship is not supposed to be difficult or one sided. Or a big challenge. Planning together.
The thing with this is that people change... You have to prepare for that beforehand
From one uneducated mother to another. We made it. I'm me first.
Ms. Flowers, you are beautiful -- on the inside as well as on the outside. And..you are wise. Thank you for your encouraging talk. I also had a baby when I was in high school. Back in those days, that particular school would not permit young women to complete their studies once they'd had a child. (Of course, the young fathers were allowed to continue!) I was ostracized by most friends. There were no cheerleader, mentor, nor coach. I did have a friend, though -- as well as a peer. Truly Divine gifts for which I am forever grateful. I am SO happy that you had the opportunity to meet up with your cheerleader and mentor. You will surely bring tremendous healing to the world. In my mind and heart, you are the star, not Beyoncé!
Lorraine you are a star and winner for going through all that... and all that you have said here about Ms. Flowers applies to you too... you are beautiful inside and outside
@@anusivaNilavu Thank you 🙏🏻
I have followed Stacey for over a year here on TH-cam but am finally getting to see her walk her purpose. Stacey has documented a very RAW, but inspiring, journey to get out of a pretty hefty debt, most of which is her post-grad education. She follows Dave Ramsey’s program and has proven SO many people wrong in her success. She was making $800/month, working part-time and working through childhood trauma...and now she’s making GREAT money and doing precisely what she was meant to do. She is also one of the most transparent people that I’ve seen on TH-cam. I hope she continues to walk this beautiful path of hers, and I will be celebrating with a glass of champagne once she pays off that very last debt.
You had me crying, laughing, dreaming and understanding in under 20-min! 😭😮😩 Stacey, you are magical. Thank you for being a vessel!
@staceyflowers
You are beauuuuuutiful girl! First thing came to my mind
yesssss
I love everything about this woman! She is so brave, strong and intelligent, she's worked so hard and achieved so much, her energy is mind-blowing and to top it all she looks gorgeous!
This woman is truly astonishing! She has more insight then I dared dream when I clicked!
HAPPINESS COMES BEFORE SUCCESS - THANK YOU!!! REAFFIRMING WHAT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN A LONG TIME AGO
I'm super happy with myself (cheerleader), sun (mentor), fruit (coach), & 2 chihuahuas (friend & peer). lol.
This broke my heart because recently I lost someone in my life who I saw as a mentor (someone to point you in the right direction) and a cheer leader. I knew them my whole life but we did not talk for most of it because he was a friend of my grandmother. After my grandmother passed away I reached out to him to talk about my spiritual path our two hour long conversation changed my life. He was one of the only people in my life who I could talk to about what I was feeling and give me some perspective that I could use. The path I was on was a bit esoteric so generally people were unwilling to talk to me about my experiences even when they were in the community. When I heard he'd passed away I cried for a few days and felt an huge sense of loss even though we hadn't spoken in years. When people asked who he was to me I couldn't articulate it. No one as in not connected by blood but everything because of the confidence he afforded me.
Wow!!! This TEDx talk is life-altering. Thank you for helping me to change my narrative. You are beautiful inside and outside. You are so articulate, eloquent and extremely smart. The world is yet to experience what you have to offer. You must be nothing short of celestial. I’m inspired all the way from Durban in South Africa. 🇿🇦
Absolutely loved this video! I had a very dysfunctional childhood, left home at 15, and got myself through two mental breakdowns in my 20's. Rock bottom brought around many changes, and by the time I started my family (weeks before my 30th birthday) I was in a great place. Ten years of family life have been super challenging, for many reasons, but I have stood firm in my belief that because I have surrounded myself with excellent people, I have overcome two, three lifetimes worth of problems. Living in echo chambers will get us no where. Ditto only having "yes" people in our lives, and ditto x100 those hundreds of facebook friends, who very much are NOT your friends. Listen to this lady, she knows what she's talking about!!
She speaks with so much passion, speaks from the heart such a talented and gifted speaker
Five key people that you need in your life:
»A cheerleader. People that always support you when you're feeling down.
»Mentor. Their primary role is to mentor you in the right direction, and willingness to share information.
»A coach. He is meant to make you a little bit uncomfortable and maximize your potential and reaching your goal.
»A friend. You need this person to know your true-est heart desire.
»A peer that helps you in the social situation and always keep your heads up!
She has shown the path to all of us who listened to the talk, but we all have to discover our 5 ourselves.....
Sooo, where are you supposed to find these (sincere) people?
Upp
the standard way of meeting anyone
In the next life
Be one first. Like attract like.
Tootsie782009 highly underrated response 😍
I made myself happy, so that proves to me that no one else is needed for happiness :)
Stacey I've never watched a TED talk this exciting! Thank you for letting me know that I need a Beyoncé moment but better yet a cheerleader, mentor, coach, peer and friend. Currently in search for the right mentor that's in alignment with my purpose. Thank you💜
+Kelechi Onyeuku You are sooooooooo very welcome! Thank you so much for watching!!!!!
Her energy is limitless!
Wow. This woman is stunning.
everything about her is beautiful wow like even her voice
This makes so much sense and explains why I'm so stuck. I don't have any of the 5 and it's hard for me to find them because I was a foster kid so I have no people and in Foster Care you don't learn to make and/or don't make connections and this hinders us well into our adulthood. I've worked in mental health also with Foster kids and co-occuring disorders and I made it before out of the need to survive and take care of 3 siblings but then when they were raised and gone, I and PTSD (from severe childhood trauma) hit after my daughter turned 4, it flipped me on my head and I haven't been able to move forward and a lot of it is I'm isolated and never learned to connect. I have no idea what to do and I just scare people away or I run because.... survival. All the people who were supposed to be protectors were monsters and that's all I've known in life thus the PTSD now. I can clearly see it's missing these 5 people is the key for me to move on. That is like speaking a language from another planet because I don't even know where to begin. I've helped a lot of people in my life but have no one to help me, even as simple as having a cheerleader or friend. My siblings are long gone from my life also and have been for years technically so it can't be them.
Hi kris, I've just read your comment and wonder how things are going for you?
I saw her and started clapping immediately. She's stunning, passionate, intelligent, and honest about her humanity. Inspiring!
She looks like Lupita Nyong'o!
I thought it was her so I clicked on this Tedtalk
I was just about to write the same thing...an American version.
Danai Gurira look alike
@njery wambui nah, she is prettier than Lupita who is average looking
craz4jaymz I think she's much prettier too
Gorgeous and an awesome speaker! You can actually feel the excitement vs the transition back to earth. Stop with 18 mins, give her an hour
So many times we get mad at a friend, because we expect him/her to be our cheerleader, mentor, coach etc... Thanks for this, now I know what to look for and what to give to others too xx
OH MY GOD STACEY I"M SO HAPPY YOU SHARED THROUGH A TEDx TALK! I've been following you for so long, i've left this comment before even watching the video :)
She is absolutely GORGEOUS! ❤️❤️❤️ Inspiriting TedTalk for sure Queen 👑
Ms.Flowers, you're so dope. This is one of my favorite TedTalks!
THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!
damn didn't even take in she has such a beautiful name on top of being a beautiful person
This is my favourite too.
This TED talk is so important. I think we have this misconception in society that we need to be self made and independent. in reality we all need someone to believe in us, to point us in right direction, to tell us no, to be supportive. I love this!
I am 60 and I have learned these things slowly. I wish I had heard you 40 years ago. I have a good life and I do the things you talk about. I love giving people a better day. You are life and goodness and beauty.
So happy I came across this. At this junction in my life it was right on time.
She is Beautifully Charismatic, Lingistically Eloquent😘🤗😍🤓
So many people have already commented about her beauty. Well... I'm no difference. She is gorgeous 😍
🙌🏾 I was not seventeen but twenty-one & scared. Scared that I may of been a statistic instead I had people who believed in me. They motivated & pushed me now my eldest daughter is thirteen. So thank you for reiterating.
I need to go meet more people
5 people's relationship to you - but what relationship is yours to them, and others?
E. F. You need to be these people as well
Flowers and Beyonce a perfect match! Lol this was really good. I love that you spoke with confidence and articulated everything you wanted to say.
+Shyleah Jones Thank you so much! I'm happy you could hear my confidence!
Everything about this talk shined! Her presence, her talent, and her message were pure light. And the concert story reminded me of the power of joy for joy's sake, and the need to make those moments happen in your life.
*i’m changed* after this.
thank you, stacey; thank you. ❤️
cheerleader - can tell you that you can do it
mentor - has willingless to share information, and can point you in the direction that you want to go
coach - can maximize your potential and make things happen
friend - will always be connected to your truest heart's desire
peer - will always keep your head in the game
It takes one person cheerleading you to give you that strength and passion and courage to believe that you can do it, you go Stacey, inspirational
Thank you sister girl..this need to be seen million times over and over. I took notes✅✅🙏🏽
I literally took notes on my phone during this😂😂anyone else?
This is my second time watching your TedTalk. I'm proud to say I'm already working on getting a Personal Coach. :) Thanks for being you and teaching us all to be happy!
You are the average of the five people you choose to associate with the most!
..usually you get video titles of Joy and Happiness, but here is Ms. Flowers taking us on a redefined HAPPY tour.
Refreshing..
This is Amazing. But, one caveat; If you’re someone who has struggled to find those 5 people in your lives life. Take a step today and find one. Also, be a cheerleader for yourself if you can; I know it’s hard at time. But, you’re worth it. The speaker has been truly blessed tto have found these people. It will be my goal to manifest the people I need in my life. Let’s remember to encourage each other everyday. You could be anyone of those people to someone and not even know it. 🦋
*Wow!!* This was awesome! I _just_ discovered her channel on TH-cam a few days ago, and this is worth every second.
What's the channels name ?
somebody somewhere Stacey Flowers
@@FunkySwagg22 thanks
She is awesome! She should be on the main stage at Ted!
Stacey Flowers!
You are truly stunning!
Your speech is greatly inspiring!
Couple mins after liking the video I reached for the like button again, forgetting that I can only like once. I can relate to her story and it resonate well with me. Society beats down too much on teenage mothers. Most family and friends literally write off your life making it very difficult to bounce back on your feet but with strong determination you will achieve your goals one day.
I’ve been following you for your minimalist/budgeting videos and this is the first time I’ve seen your Ted talk! Love you even more now!
AMAZING and Inspirational. Doing a self inventory and making sure I have those 5 people in my life. Thanks for this Ms. Stacey Flowers
What an amazing speaker you are... loved to hear you and always will...
Only just half way, I already was taken by her honest to goodness speech, her voice , her and her message.. Lady, I truly like you. More power to you. God bless .
Absolutely gorgeous!! Brava Ms. Flowers. What a gift to find you, thank you❤
Stacey, You are so inspirational! Thank You for this!
This is phenomenal! I found this video after watching a few on Life Coaches & I cannot be more grateful for TH-cam suggesting it. I am going to put in the work to not only getting those 5 people in my life, but being clear about which position they hold. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
Her voice, her speech style, face, and body. Everything about her is perfect 😍😍
Ok,now she's a beyonce to me
A marvelous speaker with bright concepts and ideas, an inspiring story, plus she's absolutely gorgeous!! Loved this.