You need to detach your feelings and memories from him. Formerly, I'd avoid places I was with my ex to avoid the emotions as well. Nowadays I go the exact same places with different people or friends. Its awkward and full of memories and bad feelings first, but you will get over it. You will attach new emotions to this placed and activities. It won't be this sanctuary anymore. We always feel special about our unrequited love because we make them, the memories with them and so on "special" by not letting anyone touch it. To get over someone, you have to "de-specialise" the places and activities. (I'm not talking about getting under someone else. I think that won't help.)
So basically when we are heartbroken we are not really still in love but traumatized re-living the pain, remove all the negative feelings asociated with the other person and keep the positive ones and voilá! you move on, easier said than done of course. But maybe you won´t even need the neurocientists team for that, anyone interested in developing the brain normalizing training app?
4 years now, but you can use the fixation. In my case I started going to the gym, eating healthy, reading many books to "outgrow" the old me which caused me too be happy 24/7. Instead of seeing it as a something holding you back, use it as something pushing you forward.
Usually we women feel ashamed because we associate tears as weakness, specially when we cry for someone who found us unworthy of their love. It was liberating to see such a smart woman going through the same struggles. Even the smartest amd talented women go though pain in relationships. Dessa, thank you.
Thank you for this. I am a neurotherapist using neurofeedback who takes this information to the stage often. Dessa (ironically also my daughter's name) did it better than I ever have. Much gratitude.
I totally agree. After a gut-wrenching heartbreak I realized I needed to rewire my brain to fall out of love. I was able to do it but I couldn't explain the science behind it. This is brilliant and right in line with my thinking.
Strong people are admirable but scare others who haven't got the same strength. It's not that those people don't love us, it's just that they are unable to love us the way we need and want them to, and thence they leave in frustration of not meeting our expectations, and we feel they didn't care enough.
What I got from this talk is the idea that loving someone could be a fixation. That it is something that we can't seem to control because our brain created a neural pathway after years and years of associating that person as something that our brain thought is a good thing because of what it makes us feel having that person in our life. Our mind and body crave for it and we can't seem to stop it from longing other than making a conscious effort and with our will power. I gather that she got over the person without doing anything other than observing her brain activity? So what she did is basically like meditation. She just observed without really making an effort to think. Meditation is basically like that. So, her continuous observation of her brain activity basically unwired that neural pattern or her love for that person from her brain then?
Precisely. This is what I gathered too. I too was once in a very dark place after my breakup and struggled with depression. But when I learned about meditation and how just by observing the happenings in our life we could alter our perception and brain activities, I became at peace. Basically you just become aware of your unconscious mind and understand that you can in fact control it. So she basically did what people do through meditation but just without having to meditate and just by observing her brain activities. Luls. Even made merchandise out of "love" 😩👌
As a psych graduate having done several neuro subjects, I can tell you that Stoned Emotions is on the right track. Basically, whenever the brain regions display the optimal level of activation (as demonstrated by the appropriate colours on the screen) the program sounded the harp notes as a way of signalling "you're on the right track! keep doing what you're doing!" - and subconsciously with that kind of feedback, she was able to learn how to keep her brain in optimal activation in the relevant areas -Much like how learning how to ride a bike isn't a fully conscious process and you just kind of have to "get the feel for it''. Except, with a bike you KNOW when you're doing it right because you can SEE that you're balanced and moving forwards. So the harp was there to help her HEAR that she was doing it right whenever she was (giving the appropriate feedback mechanism necessary for any kind of practice/learning). Although meditation can also be helpful, it would have taken her longer to reap any benefits from it because without any obvious signals to guide you, it's much harder to tell when you're doing it right or wrong.
It's a stigma that cannot really be explained of how it really works without getting down to microscopic movements and charges. But actually she was physically noting, remembering, developing shortcuts to enlarge the healthy band of her brain. The healthy activity was manifested outside her body as a sound; chime. She was training her brain to not necessarily not think, but to remember what exactly triggered that note. The to repeat the same activity over and over again. Science is badass man.
When we are in love our brain releases feel good chemicals in response to that person. If the person breaks up with you while you are still getting those chemicals in association with them, then breaking up causes an abrupt withdrawal of those chemicals...so it is kind of like going cold turkey from a bad addiction.
You are right. Its like quitting a drug. You can't sleep or eat, you feel panic and your stomach is uncomfortable. But when the time passes it gets better, you just have to be patient to yourself.
I’ve been in a seven-year toxic relationship in the past. And even after I fell out of love with him, I went back one more time just because I was lonely. (He knew, but thought he could make me feel those feelings again). Now I’m married and in a healthy relationship (with someone different). Love is a journey, that’s for sure!
I honestly love this Tedtalk so much. I understand the embarrassment of not being able to fall out of love- even years later. It is like a fixation. After my first and only relationship ended (5 months), I spent years agonizing over it. I mean it was a really painful break up for me and my first love, so I guess it’s understandable. But I’m better now; i can look back without bitterness and enjoy the good times for what they were. I see now that my relationship was unhealthy and am not sad that it ended. I did lose a best friend (we had been close friends) in the process but I became a friend to myself.
What an intelligent woman. I love when the speaker is talking about a topic that has nothing to do with their profession and goes to great lengths to uncover the mystery/issue. I also feel like it gives the best outcome because it's so unbiased. Probably also one of the best speakers on the TEDx for sure!
Why does Dessa have be so close to perfect? Too much grace, talent and wisdom to be packed into one beautiful person... my heart breaks for her heartbreaks.
I can say that during my journey to try to keep myself out of the hospital after complete devastation from a similar situation this talk has been one thing that has given me hope and made me feel not so alone and ashamed. Knowing that another highly intelligent woman could feel the same and then not...thank you Dessa.
It's the memories that keep you in love with the person. We are sentimental creatures by nature through our memory. So unless we get Alzheimer's we will always love that person
@@dr.jenniferma3914 yeah, what I imagine for me it’s that we got memories and stuff to keep us close to this person but that’s not yet enough to be in love you guys must have something special like she’s the only one like this among all others nobody is her and she’s what you most need like she’s really outta comparison you can’t find all this quality in another person but her and everything you guys had and all the thing is that you can’t forget bout her forever cause it’s what your body, your brain, your health, your heart and entire you need (Love ain’t always in first sight don’t forget that’s fairy tale sometimes it grows in the person by it’s own try not to force or rush things tho)
I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other. Men and women think very differently from each other. It seems like it's impossible for men and women to emotionally connect with each other.
Met her in passing without really knowing who she was until after. And I will say she was a delightful person and I kind of developed a girl crush right there.
I don't know if we can choose to fall out of love but can certainly choose to let go of some things such as; the anxiety about how someone's attention will dictate how your day goes. Doing everything to feel approved or liked by that person, etc.
I actually got that you have to pavlov dog yourself out of it. For me, I hear a mindset I should have about it and I wish I could sustain it. I have to come up with a reward now when I embrace these mindsets
It sounded kinda like meditation, except more rewarding and acknowledging towards the moments you feel your brain at peace and clarity, instead of focusing on the spikes of passion or bitterness.
I have no idea why I watch that video. But I’m sure people struggling with moving on from their relationship can actually learn and see it from a different perspective! Great Job !
Vlogstafy Thanks for sharing, this made me think of how I’d put it into words..I’d say you would transform it into a different kind of love. That’s what I seem to also get from the video with how she mentioned that she still felt the positive feelings toward him, just without the fixation.
The theme of our wedding was LOVE IS A CHOICE (it was written on the m&m favors with an eagle on the other side--i have an offbeat humor). We both felt strongly that we're not just inexplicably drawn to each other and just can't help it; we were dating close to 8 years before getting married. Any two people can stay together, it takes work to be happy. I choose to love him because I want to love him because he loves me for loving him for loving me.
I’ve been with my partner for six years. He’s absolutely amazing and cares for me in every single way, I am difficult to live with and struggle with anxiety and ocd, he helps me clean and pays for my therapy. Recently I’ve felt as though I’ve ’ fallen out of love’. But I love him as a person and how he treats others around us. What would your advice be?
Dont need a team of neuro scientist, just keep on reminding urself, out of sight, out of mind n it doesn't add value, if a person does not value u, u dont have to try more than once. Life goes on. Thank u for the memories n lessons.
When a romantic relationship breaks up you have a period of grieving that is about the lost possible future with that other person. I think she found the grief centre, not the love centre, of the brain.
She is so freakin' awesome. Funny, smart, amazing voice, amazing songwriter, so brave to put everything out there - also I want that necklace. I wish I could like this a hundred times.
This is hands down fantastic. How much more of a sane, gracious and wise society would we have if more of us tested and put into practice what we hear, saying: does it really work? I'll try to change myself first... and -whether or not it's my fault, I'm the only one who can do something about it.
All you can do is tell yourself that they werent the one for you. You have to accept that your future is bright and you will find someone else to connect with.
I mean this literally. You could add up all the pain I have ever felt in my life and it would not hold a candle to the pain I experienced during my heartbreak. Worst experience I have ever luckily lived through.
Gotta LUV when a speaker is intelligent enough to provide assimilations vivid enough to help us normal intellectually deficient people understand the complex subject matter. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I am privileged to have performed alongside Dessa during TedX Wanchai. She is a powerful speaker and performer. We had a photo together which is a bonus.
I liked this piece, her spirit and character are refreshing. Cool of her ti share her experience-cant say i know too many people willing to explore that
I'm guessing how to get over a person would be to reorganise your feelings for the relationship to integrate the positiveness of what you got out of the relationship with yourself and let go of the negative feelings for what you got out of the relationship. She just had help with neuroscientists for that.
Love is an idea that comes with bundle of feelings we’re attached to, and too scared to let go, but once we decide “this is enough i have to move on and let go” this idea will start to vanish eventually along with the bundle it came with.
WoW! Just 2 minutes into the video and I already can say, I loooove the way she speaks and.... everything. Didn't know her before, so I definitely will check her out and her music. 👌👌👌
I did the same... listening right now as I read comments lol. Its alright. I wanna hear the break up songs. I'm sure I've been playing them, but I'm not focusing on the words due to reading comments.
Wow she was really good, so basically getting an understanding of how the brain works in that situation, but also through them sessions of visualising her brain with the sound when it was in the better activity zone, over time relaxed that part of the brain.
incredibly interesting, and kudos to her for delving so deeply into the science of love and feelings. Engaging all the way through - excellent TEDTalk.
Working through any significant loss requires at least two, if not three items: 1) TIME - usually 2-yrs., 2) CONTEMPLATION - thoughtfully processing pertinent memories, and sometimes 3) A therapist to GUIDE one through the steps.
Darn, now I want a pair of ram's horns on a necklace. Fascinating topic and well-done on the presentation! You just know someone had musical training when they set the pauses and pace the speed of their speech so well.
How to get over a break-up:
Step 1: Have a wine night with your neuroscience friends
docvideo93
Easy, and after that pack you suitcase and go for a trip to the moon to change the air
Any neuroscientist wanna be my friend?
Gitana Fox I need a neuroscience friend now as well!
Yep said right
And if i dont have friends?
This talk is criminally under viewed, and Dessa criminally underrated!
grossly misinterpreted...period. just look at these comments below!
Seriously shes a genius!
She’s an awesome speaker, I really enjoyed that.
weirdocentric23 blessings
she sounded like a doctor and a well known scientist.
probably the best speaker ive seen in a ted talk
I think, too
Best TEDTalk I've ever seen. This woman is a beast.
If only I had a team of neuroscientists to snuff out my guy.
David James same here !! Erased him for good
You mean snuff out the feelings. 😂😂 Not hiring hit men, right? Lol
I just saw your channel and you're so cute, that's probably wierd to say but you're so charismatic
Feel you
You need to detach your feelings and memories from him. Formerly, I'd avoid places I was with my ex to avoid the emotions as well. Nowadays I go the exact same places with different people or friends. Its awkward and full of memories and bad feelings first, but you will get over it. You will attach new emotions to this placed and activities. It won't be this sanctuary anymore.
We always feel special about our unrequited love because we make them, the memories with them and so on "special" by not letting anyone touch it. To get over someone, you have to "de-specialise" the places and activities.
(I'm not talking about getting under someone else. I think that won't help.)
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
A brilliant Jim Carrey movie.
💯
Literally my first thought!!
So basically when we are heartbroken we are not really still in love but traumatized re-living the pain, remove all the negative feelings asociated with the other person and keep the positive ones and voilá! you move on, easier said than done of course. But maybe you won´t even need the neurocientists team for that, anyone interested in developing the brain normalizing training app?
YES! PLEASE.
Yes!! Pls!!
Me too
So interesting!!!
YES
Falling in Love is not a choice, staying in love is...
Exactly
Finally something I agree with
No it's not. People are confusing true love with love.
how do you know you are in love with someone? Could it happen in a short period of the meeting? How do I know what is real?
4 years now, but you can use the fixation. In my case I started going to the gym, eating healthy, reading many books to "outgrow" the old me which caused me too be happy 24/7. Instead of seeing it as a something holding you back, use it as something pushing you forward.
Usually we women feel ashamed because we associate tears as weakness, specially when we cry for someone who found us unworthy of their love. It was liberating to see such a smart woman going through the same struggles. Even the smartest amd talented women go though pain in relationships. Dessa, thank you.
not only women
Thank you for this. I am a neurotherapist using neurofeedback who takes this information to the stage often. Dessa (ironically also my daughter's name) did it better than I ever have. Much gratitude.
What is the method?
I want this done to me whats the name of this? I want my brain fixed like hers please help!
Why have people been holding this out from us?? How many lives could be improved from this treatment!! Lol HELP
I totally agree. After a gut-wrenching heartbreak I realized I needed to rewire my brain to fall out of love. I was able to do it but I couldn't explain the science behind it. This is brilliant and right in line with my thinking.
@@kissnmakeupwithali8526 it's like convincing yourself to do something unimaginative and impossible
"Couldn't rebound from what others rebound from..."
Ahhhh! Somebody gets me.
Strong people are admirable but scare others who haven't got the same strength. It's not that those people don't love us, it's just that they are unable to love us the way we need and want them to, and thence they leave in frustration of not meeting our expectations, and we feel they didn't care enough.
Thank you for this comment
THIS COMMENT!!!!!
I feel like it's written exclusively for me. Thank you so much :)
Right on time! Thanks soooo much
Wise words
What I got from this talk is the idea that loving someone could be a fixation. That it is something that we can't seem to control because our brain created a neural pathway after years and years of associating that person as something that our brain thought is a good thing because of what it makes us feel having that person in our life. Our mind and body crave for it and we can't seem to stop it from longing other than making a conscious effort and with our will power. I gather that she got over the person without doing anything other than observing her brain activity? So what she did is basically like meditation. She just observed without really making an effort to think. Meditation is basically like that. So, her continuous observation of her brain activity basically unwired that neural pattern or her love for that person from her brain then?
Precisely. This is what I gathered too. I too was once in a very dark place after my breakup and struggled with depression. But when I learned about meditation and how just by observing the happenings in our life we could alter our perception and brain activities, I became at peace. Basically you just become aware of your unconscious mind and understand that you can in fact control it. So she basically did what people do through meditation but just without having to meditate and just by observing her brain activities. Luls. Even made merchandise out of "love" 😩👌
Light Seeker blessings
As a psych graduate having done several neuro subjects, I can tell you that Stoned Emotions is on the right track. Basically, whenever the brain regions display the optimal level of activation (as demonstrated by the appropriate colours on the screen) the program sounded the harp notes as a way of signalling "you're on the right track! keep doing what you're doing!" - and subconsciously with that kind of feedback, she was able to learn how to keep her brain in optimal activation in the relevant areas -Much like how learning how to ride a bike isn't a fully conscious process and you just kind of have to "get the feel for it''. Except, with a bike you KNOW when you're doing it right because you can SEE that you're balanced and moving forwards. So the harp was there to help her HEAR that she was doing it right whenever she was (giving the appropriate feedback mechanism necessary for any kind of practice/learning). Although meditation can also be helpful, it would have taken her longer to reap any benefits from it because without any obvious signals to guide you, it's much harder to tell when you're doing it right or wrong.
She used Neurofeedback. The program uses sound or visual signals to reorganize or retrain the brain signals.
It's a stigma that cannot really be explained of how it really works without getting down to microscopic movements and charges. But actually she was physically noting, remembering, developing shortcuts to enlarge the healthy band of her brain. The healthy activity was manifested outside her body as a sound; chime. She was training her brain to not necessarily not think, but to remember what exactly triggered that note. The to repeat the same activity over and over again. Science is badass man.
she may be the coolest person I've ever seen
She reminds me of Pink!
Try out her music its legitimate
When we are in love our brain releases feel good chemicals in response to that person. If the person breaks up with you while you are still getting those chemicals in association with them, then breaking up causes an abrupt withdrawal of those chemicals...so it is kind of like going cold turkey from a bad addiction.
yup, it's very painful.
You are right.
Its like quitting a drug.
You can't sleep or eat, you feel panic and your stomach is uncomfortable.
But when the time passes it gets better, you just have to be patient to yourself.
Susan Darby it’s all the dopamine man
I’ve been in a seven-year toxic relationship in the past. And even after I fell out of love with him, I went back one more time just because I was lonely. (He knew, but thought he could make me feel those feelings again). Now I’m married and in a healthy relationship (with someone different). Love is a journey, that’s for sure!
So he couldn't make you feel those same feelings?
I honestly love this Tedtalk so much. I understand the embarrassment of not being able to fall out of love- even years later. It is like a fixation. After my first and only relationship ended (5 months), I spent years agonizing over it. I mean it was a really painful break up for me and my first love, so I guess it’s understandable. But I’m better now; i can look back without bitterness and enjoy the good times for what they were. I see now that my relationship was unhealthy and am not sad that it ended. I did lose a best friend (we had been close friends) in the process but I became a friend to myself.
What an intelligent woman. I love when the speaker is talking about a topic that has nothing to do with their profession and goes to great lengths to uncover the mystery/issue. I also feel like it gives the best outcome because it's so unbiased. Probably also one of the best speakers on the TEDx for sure!
Why does Dessa have be so close to perfect? Too much grace, talent and wisdom to be packed into one beautiful person... my heart breaks for her heartbreaks.
I can say that during my journey to try to keep myself out of the hospital after complete devastation from a similar situation this talk has been one thing that has given me hope and made me feel not so alone and ashamed. Knowing that another highly intelligent woman could feel the same and then not...thank you Dessa.
It's the memories that keep you in love with the person. We are sentimental creatures by nature through our memory. So unless we get Alzheimer's we will always love that person
I agree with that.
Over time, the memories lose their emotional nature and no, you no longer love the person.
@@dr.jenniferma3914 yeah, what I imagine for me it’s that we got memories and stuff to keep us close to this person but that’s not yet enough to be in love you guys must have something special like she’s the only one like this among all others nobody is her and she’s what you most need like she’s really outta comparison you can’t find all this quality in another person but her and everything you guys had and all the thing is that you can’t forget bout her forever cause it’s what your body, your brain, your health, your heart and entire you need (Love ain’t always in first sight don’t forget that’s fairy tale sometimes it grows in the person by it’s own try not to force or rush things tho)
Looking up how to get Alzheimer's
I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other. Men and women think very differently from each other. It seems like it's impossible for men and women to emotionally connect with each other.
What a wonderful public speaker. Absolutely poetic!
Hannah Green Hargreaves yess
She is literally a poet...😊😄😍
She is fantastic in the way she presented the content. A non-neuroscience background and still superbly lucid and articulate, funny and crisp.
I was so impressed. She should give another TED Talk on communicating scientific findings to the general public
Met her in passing without really knowing who she was until after. And I will say she was a delightful person and I kind of developed a girl crush right there.
I don't know if we can choose to fall out of love but can certainly choose to let go of some things such as; the anxiety about how someone's attention will dictate how your day goes. Doing everything to feel approved or liked by that person, etc.
That was entertaining, but I felt disappointed that there was no actionable advice or information in the talk.
That's true. It was just a bit of 'scientific showoff'. A common sign of people too much into their own selves.
I actually got that you have to pavlov dog yourself out of it. For me, I hear a mindset I should have about it and I wish I could sustain it. I have to come up with a reward now when I embrace these mindsets
@@stormtroopette thats it.
It sounded kinda like meditation, except more rewarding and acknowledging towards the moments you feel your brain at peace and clarity, instead of focusing on the spikes of passion or bitterness.
x2
She's such an energetic and engaging speaker. This was so fun to watch.
I have no idea why I watch that video. But I’m sure people struggling with moving on from their relationship can actually learn and see it from a different perspective! Great Job !
You don't fall out of love. You give up.
Vlogstafy Thanks for sharing, this made me think of how I’d put it into words..I’d say you would transform it into a different kind of love. That’s what I seem to also get from the video with how she mentioned that she still felt the positive feelings toward him, just without the fixation.
this is one of the most important TED talks i have ever watched.
The theme of our wedding was LOVE IS A CHOICE (it was written on the m&m favors with an eagle on the other side--i have an offbeat humor). We both felt strongly that we're not just inexplicably drawn to each other and just can't help it; we were dating close to 8 years before getting married. Any two people can stay together, it takes work to be happy. I choose to love him because I want to love him because he loves me for loving him for loving me.
"any two people can stay together"? That's just...not true.
I’ve been with my partner for six years. He’s absolutely amazing and cares for me in every single way, I am difficult to live with and struggle with anxiety and ocd, he helps me clean and pays for my therapy. Recently I’ve felt as though I’ve ’ fallen out of love’. But I love him as a person and how he treats others around us. What would your advice be?
real life version of eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
Lenn Hernandez that’s exactly what I was thinking LOL
So on point
Dont need a team of neuro scientist, just keep on reminding urself, out of sight, out of mind n it doesn't add value, if a person does not value u, u dont have to try more than once.
Life goes on. Thank u for the memories n lessons.
When a romantic relationship breaks up you have a period of grieving that is about the lost possible future with that other person. I think she found the grief centre, not the love centre, of the brain.
It's not grief. Try giving "moaning and melancholia" by Sigmund Freud a read.
She is so freakin' awesome. Funny, smart, amazing voice, amazing songwriter, so brave to put everything out there - also I want that necklace. I wish I could like this a hundred times.
Still one of the best TED Talk I ever watched...
Most charismatic TEDx talk I've heard in a while
This is hands down fantastic. How much more of a sane, gracious and wise society would we have if more of us tested and put into practice what we hear, saying: does it really work? I'll try to change myself first... and -whether or not it's my fault, I'm the only one who can do something about it.
All you can do is tell yourself that they werent the one for you. You have to accept that your future is bright and you will find someone else to connect with.
That was way more like a spoken word poem than a Ted Talk and I loved it
I mean this literally. You could add up all the pain I have ever felt in my life and it would not hold a candle to the pain I experienced during my heartbreak. Worst experience I have ever luckily lived through.
I'd rather get shot in the knee than go through my heartbreak again
I just fell in love with Dessa during this talk.
Loved the energy of this woman! She is like a sky full of fireworks
Gotta LUV when a speaker is intelligent enough to provide assimilations vivid enough to help us normal intellectually deficient people understand the complex subject matter. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
She is so harismatic, incredible speaker with a great future.
I am privileged to have performed alongside Dessa during TedX Wanchai. She is a powerful speaker and performer. We had a photo together which is a bonus.
LOVE this. So freakin’ smart.
On a side note: anyone else reminded of Kristen Stewart when she’s speaking?
I think you should give more speeches or become a professor. You are truly captivating!
Thank you so much for this!! Much love from here.
She is so smart 😍😍😍😍
rowshon ara absolutely
Im still in love with someone that i cant have..once you see them with your heart you are done
I’m a huge believer of love and I don’t think getting rid of your feeling scientifically is the way you do that. But you do you
I liked this piece, her spirit and character are refreshing. Cool of her ti share her experience-cant say i know too many people willing to explore that
She's a fantastic speaker - great energy & all-round engagement power
Fabulous and funny! Education helped me fall out of love...and lots of ME time.
I'm guessing how to get over a person would be to reorganise your feelings for the relationship to integrate the positiveness of what you got out of the relationship with yourself and let go of the negative feelings for what you got out of the relationship. She just had help with neuroscientists for that.
I'm not concerned about falling out of love, but I do like dessa. Awesome music !
I stumble across this, not even sure how now! she had my undivided attention, very good!!
this title is an actual mood
Amazing talk. Really loved her confidence and humour and determination.
But i must say her charisma was off the charts, i have truly found my inspiration
Love is an idea that comes with bundle of feelings we’re attached to, and too scared to let go, but once we decide “this is enough i have to move on and let go” this idea will start to vanish eventually along with the bundle it came with.
What a great speaker, and a captivating presentation, well done!
This is without a doubt one of the smartest, sexiest, interesting videos I have ever seen.
wow that’s definitely my favorite TED talkkk
This feels very “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”
Well, this comment was before she actually said that...I think I still stand by
ground breaking
so THIS WAY one can hav much better chance of breaking out of negative addiction or attachment OMG
so smart and clever!!!!!!
her way of speaking is really engaging ! what an awesome speaker, she seems like a really cool person too :)
She is such a sweetheart. Love!
Wow! This is exactly the scientific talk I've been looking for. So fresh, I adore it!
Wow... That was a phenomenally-delivered session. "Enlightened" doesn't even begin to define this amazing woman. Go Dessa!
it was so compelling to watch this, i couldn't click out even if i wanted to
That's sheer awesomeness .. with a romantic ache
WoW! Just 2 minutes into the video and I already can say, I loooove the way she speaks and.... everything. Didn't know her before, so I definitely will check her out and her music. 👌👌👌
I did the same... listening right now as I read comments lol. Its alright. I wanna hear the break up songs. I'm sure I've been playing them, but I'm not focusing on the words due to reading comments.
I did the same. And she's amazing!
Like her style, her voice, her talk
Dessa rules 🤘🏻
As if I couldn't love this woman any more. She's awesome!! I am not worthy!
Wow she was really good, so basically getting an understanding of how the brain works in that situation, but also through them sessions of visualising her brain with the sound when it was in the better activity zone, over time relaxed that part of the brain.
@London Lee nah I am happy single, still in love with my ex but she’s now my friend and I am happy as can be.
That was so helpful and she was very adorable. Thank you so much
incredibly interesting, and kudos to her for delving so deeply into the science of love and feelings. Engaging all the way through - excellent TEDTalk.
Very very clearly explained talk. Humorous. and somehow inspiring. Loved it.
Great Talk! Super interesting. Good use of humor while discussing science and heartbreak.
dessa is amaaazing
Had no idea she did a TED talk,
She is an amazing speaker!
Brilliantly articulated!
I love love love how she talks..
One of THE best talks!!
The best TED talk ever !
One of the Best speakers I have ever watched!! You are amazing
Well, thanks.
the love energy rises through shushumna nadi until the end of the spine or what
My ram's horns are nuts for this girl. She's brilliant, talented, and lovely. Check her album out: "Chime".
Omg love her eternal sunshine reference!! Was thinking that the whole time lol
Working through any significant loss requires at least two, if not three items:
1) TIME - usually 2-yrs.,
2) CONTEMPLATION - thoughtfully processing pertinent memories, and sometimes
3) A therapist to GUIDE one through the steps.
One of the best performance! Loved the info, the fluency and your passion. Hats off!
Gosh, she is an amazing speaker!!!
Fantastic topic, spoke with clarity, expression and passion ❤
I am so glad I accidentally clicked on this. What a smart, funny, talented babe 😍😍
She's a great speaker
Darn, now I want a pair of ram's horns on a necklace. Fascinating topic and well-done on the presentation! You just know someone had musical training when they set the pauses and pace the speed of their speech so well.
She's amazing! Loved this talk