_"Have you ever heard Cam Clarke whine to the Eagle's nips -- or asked the talking canoe why he's sinned? Can you sing with all the voices of the Goodtimes? Can you cash-grab with the Bargains of the Bin?"_
Imagine the AVGN marries Pocahontas and she adapts his swearing. And when she travels back home in this movie and they try to put those flowers on her, she'd go "WTF is this bullshit? I'd rather dump my ass all over this Hawaiian crap! Now gimme that fuckin peace pipe! Gonna get high as fuck so I can stand this garbage!" Chief Genie: "O-kay..."
"Pocahontas you are a child." "You don't you love me?" "That's not true..." UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH REGARDING THE REAL POCAGONTAS' AGE, I DIDNT THINK THEY WERE GONNA GO THERE, BUT I *REALLY* DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE GONNA GO *THERE*.
Oh my God! I saw this as a kid! I was in a dentist office for kids and they played this for people waiting, I remember being both confused that there was a second Pocahontas movie and especially the talking canoe. I remember distinctly thinking as a kid "Wow, that's... stupid."
Mary Kay Bergman used to voice most of the woman on South Park but (In phelous voice) Then she died, on November 11, 1999 after shooting herself with a Mossberg 12-gauge shotgun. So after her death the female voices went to Mona Marshall and Eliza Schneider. But then Schneider left in 2004 so she was replaced with April Stewart.
Golden Films was surprisingly closer to the actual story of Pocahontas than Disney’s was, but still made some random changes. I wish that there was a movie adaptation of the actual story of Pocahontas. It’s quite interesting that a chief’s caught daughter went from a “savage” prisoner of war to a celebrity in England after she learned English from her captors, but no movie adaptation seems to want to tell that story.
It's because Hollywood is deathly allergic to historical accuracy. That's why all their films based on Historical events are always the furthest thing from the truth.
"It’s quite interesting that a chief’s caught went from a “savage” prisoner of war to a celebrity in England after she learned English from her captors" yeah, it's called Imperialism. They also beat her old beliefs out of her and baptized her into Christianity. "Oh, look how we transformed this ill-bred savage into a civilized child of God!" is Colonizer 101. Hell, the reason she and John Rolfe met King James I was to ask him for money to convert the Powhatan tribe into Christians.
Gwendolyn Stata Her account was quite different from what you described. She claimed that she eventually picked up the language from listening to them as their prisoner of war, and willingly converted to Christianity soon after. So, you’re half right about the Imperialism. After the war was over, she chose to go to England of her own accord to show the English people what these “savages” were actually like. It’s important to note that she had given birth before being taken prisoner, and in her tribe’s tradition, the mother from a different tribe was to marry, give birth, and then return to her original or different tribe to repeat the process, so she probably saw her voyage to England as continuing this tradition. She enjoyed quite a privileged life as a celebrity in England as a “civilized savage”, married there, and even had a child, and as was tradition of her tribe, she was to leave her new home in England to return to her tribe of origin in America, but she died before she could return. Her story isn’t at all tragic, like most Native American stories usually are, despite the rocky start and kind of sad ending. It’s quite similar to Mary Rowlandson’s story, where the inverse happened. Both are very interesting in how they don’t try to demonize the other side and instead have a sort of fascination with them and seem to have enjoyed living in their societies.
+Aaron: I rather like that take on it, but from what I hear there are also at least some issues about just how reliable any of the accounts of her life are. When I was a kid I even heard some doubt that she even really existed, at least in the way the accounts are told.
Ryodraco History’s full of people doubting that things happened/people existed. People have said the same things about Shakespeare and Olaudah Equiano as well, but their own accounts and the accounts of people around them are usually enough to go off on and they almost always check out. Even then, I can’t say that it’s that unbelievable to think that a 13 year old girl would become obsessed with a culture that’s foreign to her and travel there. I’d definitely want to go to this strange, unknown world that’s far more advanced than my town just for curiosity’s sake, but she also had tribal birthing traditions to incentivize her journey too.
I adore the subtitles in Phelous videoe. The one I love the most is the one in Christmas Tree in which they subbed the theme song as "Opening song slightly resembling farts" and that's the perfect description.
The eagle having nipples really freaks me out because birds SHOULD NOT have mammaries. Mammary glands, as the name suggests, are a strictly mammalian thing. Birds, being sauropsids, wouldn't have them under ANY circumstances.
@@WxIxLxLxIxAxMxS So you're saying that on Duckworld, ducks evolved mammary glands while retaining the ability to lay eggs? Not impossible, I suppose. There are egg-laying mammals on Earth, such as the platypus and echidna. Of course, those animals lack teats, but there's no reason the inhabitants of Duckworld couldn't have evolved actual breasts.
Yeah, they would be, wouldn't they? From the comments from German-speakers I've seen below Phelous's Dingo reviews, that kind of cursing, inappropriate by British or North American standards in kids' cartoons, was apparently permissible in German ones back when those were made. Different countries, different cultures, I reckon.
Wait a minute. A girl in a blue outfit, with loose hair, who falls in love. An anthropomorphic object that is used as transportation. A small talkative bird with a large beak. A flying character with a large chest, who helps the main character. A villain dress in red, has a thin mustache, bony build A short, portly man. Was this suppose to be a Aladdin knock off? Did they changed their minds what story to do, half way ripping off, I mean writing the characters?
Blue Pocahontas was later reincarnated as a toy version of herself in Miracles in Toyland. Everyday she wished God would grant her the sweet release of death.
IAmTheUnison I’d love to see Phelous tackle the animated Titanic nightmares. Walker’s reviews were pretty good IIRC (I’ve quit watching him so I’m going by memory) but those abominations were just _made_ for the Phelous treatment. He’d probably uncover a lot more about the movies’ origins, too- I think the one with the evil whalers might actually be from North Korea.
I made a sentient canoe once but it just sat my garage screaming for death... at least after a few years it spirit broke and now it just trys to drown itself when I take it out to the lake
I made a sentiment canoe too, but it kept calling itself the King of Red Lions and wouldn't let me sail anywhere until I went to some place called Dragonroost Island.
Wait, did he re upload the video or is the date on your comment just messing up? It says it was uploaded today but that your comment was posted two weeks ago.
Give Dingo Pictures this. Their version of Pocahontas had Wabuu and the Blood Bush. Which automatically makes it the most enjoyable and faithful adaptation of Pocahontas
While he is known for the voice of Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi, Charles Martinet has had a good resume of various voice work and even some live-action roles. For example, he was the voice of that one notable dragon in Skyrim, he voiced a character in Cel Damage, had a role as the main character's father in The Game (1994), had an appearance in an episode of ER, and most notably was the narrator for Runner 2 and Runner 3. Heck, he's even playable in the latter game, which is freaking nuts.
Yup, I remember he was Fowl Mouth (the black-and-white gangster duck with the Tommy Gun) in _Cel Damage._ If you listen closely, you can definitely hear a bit of Wario in his voiceover, there.
Blue is one of the easiest natural dyes to make and the native Americans did use it quite a bit. I don't think they regularly wore bright blue clothing though.
This canoe reminds me of the one from Pajama Sam who's afraid of water because he's afraid he'll sink. I didn't know this was a common affliction! Canoe aquaphobia therapy could be the new up-and-coming industry worth investigating!
2:52 Chickenhawks and eagles are part of the Accipitridae family, so it's actually the size and wingspan separating them. I know, I'm looking for logic in a Golden Film.
+Tommy Deonauth's Achives Probably because most people these days wouldn't get the reference. Only animation buffs and hardcore Looney Tunes fans would know who he is.
If those net worth web sites are to believed, Cam Clarke is one of the richest voice actors... ever. I found at least two net worth sites labeling his as $90M. If that's true, then he's richer than Jim Cummings, Frank Welker, Tara Strong, Rob Paulsen, and Mel Blanc, who was worth $25M at the time of his death. Not to mention, it would Cam wealthier than most A-listers. My point is, he could definitely say no to goofy roles like this.
@@scottylewis8124 along with Jim Cummings, who voiced both the Golden Films version of Baloo for the former’s Jungle Book and Disney’s version of Baloo For Disney’s Jungle Book 2, Cam Clarke voiced The Golden films version of Hercules for the former’s film as well as Disney’s version of Hercules for Disney’s Hercules tv show!
"I'm not leaving this house because of Hurricane Florence." :::sees notification of Golden Films review:: "I'm gonna go for a walk outside." ::sees that it's Phelous::: "Nope, I'll stay put."
The story of the real Pocahontas Her real name was Maoka. Pocahontas was her nickname. She was a little girl when she saved John Smith and there's a possibility that the danger and the rescue was being staged without John's knowing that he was in any real danger according to some accounts. When she was older, she was kidnapped, but her father decided not to attack after seeing her daughter was happily married to John Rolfe. She gave herself the name Rebecca for her English name. She converted to Christianity of her own free will and tried to help other members of her tribe to do the same. She traveled to England once with her husband and never returned because she became very ill and died young in England.
I thought she looked like a cross between Princess Jasmine from Aladdin and Belle from Beauty and The Beast when she was at The English Ball. She looked like Princess Jasmine wearing Belle's golden gown
4:58 AGAIN With the cliffs in Virginia! Where do these guys keep coming up with all of this? I have been here all my life and the only cliffs I ever seen are in the moutains, in the AWAY from the coast.
Martialartfruituser I went to the place that was probably Werowocomoco once, and it was all pretty much at sea level. But who knows? Maybe the ground sank 30 feet in the last 400 years.
AmishParadise27 (AKA: Tyler) so people are really whiny about historical accuracy even though Disney has a right to creative liberties? They don’t have to be 100% accurate otherwise it’s no longer a Disney movie(plus a child with an adult.....yeah can’t make it a family movie)
Also people complain about how the movie treated Native Americans even though I think the treatment and portrayal of them was very respectful and they were all voiced by Native American actors. At least it's not like those propaganda Looney Tunes cartoons.
Fun fact, the bit where john was blown up was actually ACCURATE! I know right? Because of his stances on the Powhatan, some of his supporters theorized he was under attempted assassination. It is debated wether it was an accidentor not.
Okay who the crap is the WRITER on these Golden Films things; Stupid the Canoe's """"funny"""" dialogue sounds way too similar to at least a dozen others (of Golden Films in particular) where they think saying something in far too many words is itself funny when it's really mostly babbling garbage
The fact that Golden included in their Anastasia the Romanov's descending into that basement and being freaking SHOT!?! That is psychotic. But I guess historically correct?!
This was the very first dvd I ever owned! When I was about 7, my dad bought me this thinking I’d like it... I only watched it cause the fact a dvd existed amazed me
I love the cake scene! What a way to break a promise, but since he said it doesn’t have sneezing powder in it, I guess we should eat it! UM-NOM-NOM-NOM!
Wabuu: Of course not, you stupid Old Individual. Now... White Fang, TERRORIZE! (Beat, White Fang does not appear) Old Man: Uh... Wabuu: Um, I said... White Fang, TERRORIZE!!! (Beat, Crickets chirp and White Fang Still doesn't appear, Wabuu gets agitated) Wabuu: Well, if you want something done right... (Grabs a shotgun) Old Man: Aww... crap. (Wabuu shoots Old Man in the neck and chest) Old Man: Ooooooh.... (coughs) Damn it... I knew I should have run away during the beats... (coughs) Wabuu: That's what you get for having Charlie scratch me up the last time!
5:42 “Look my evil friend!” Even she knows that the talking birds are evil!! Yes, I know she said “eagle” after I watched it the second time, but I still think it sounds like “evil”!
I remember a couple years ago, when I went diving through my family’s old collection of VHS tapes to rewatch some Disney films. I actually remember finding the tape to this exact movie right next to the actual Disney Pocahontas. I had no idea what it was doing here, until I finally discovered the Phelous reviews of all these knock-offs and saw how ubiquitous they were. So it’s official: my family too must have gotten suckered into getting one back in the day. Too bad I did not have Beauty and the Beast starring Old Man, though, but at least I recently found out that my friend does... He’s completely useless now! HYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Considering how The Handsome of Notre Dame was 10x worse than even Disney’s “The Hunchback of Notre Dame II” could ever be, that does not surprise me, though.
@@markcobuzzi826 did anyone even look at these films before they were dumped in the bargain bin? Little Angels was bad, but this one fucks you harder than life itself! It's a hurricane of shit! I can't believe humanity was capable of degrading itself so low as to produce such a large amount of annoyance and ass!
Gotta love John Smith teleporting into place at 12:29. And seeing as how Pocahontas is apparently a shape shifter, I guess they were made for each other.
Was watching this while my wife was playing a game. She heard you talking about the sentient canoe and aparantly she was one of the children "fortunate" enough to have had their parents get them this movie back in the day lol
3:17 Can we appreciate how craptacular this animation is? The two birdbrains collide in mid air and literally disappear in a puff of smoke within a single frame. A+ effort guys.
I think it's funny that Jeff Bennett's in this as when ANIMANIACS did their parody of Disney's POCAHONTAS he did the voice of John Smith. Also, I'm pretty sure he's also the voice of the Monsieur Rodent-looking dude cuz he sounds way too much like Brooklyn for it to not be him.
every time I see that canoe, the old homestar runner quote of "Im an abomination, and Im coming to your house after school" pops into my head. without fail.
_"Have you ever heard Cam Clarke whine to the Eagle's nips -- or asked the talking canoe why he's sinned? Can you sing with all the voices of the Goodtimes? Can you cash-grab with the Bargains of the Bin?"_
I actually just sang this lol
@ RobotwarsKing I... I love you. 😁😂
You win. 🤣
RobotwarsKing Simply magical!
RobotwarsKing 🤣🤣
Referring to John Rolfe as The Angry Tobacco Nerd was one of the highlights of this experience.
Imagine the AVGN marries Pocahontas and she adapts his swearing.
And when she travels back home in this movie and they try to put those flowers on her, she'd go "WTF is this bullshit? I'd rather dump my ass all over this Hawaiian crap! Now gimme that fuckin peace pipe! Gonna get high as fuck so I can stand this garbage!"
Chief Genie: "O-kay..."
Yeah Steve Martin is right 8:53
The thing about Disney is even their worst stuff is still well made. A talking tree isn’t as bad a seniant canoe
well the tree could become a canoe
@@masterfarr8265 but it would not talk then
@jbiehlable eh i guess. Maybe the canoe in this movie is cursed 😅
What about Otto from Pajama Sam?
@@jinx1987 LOL I remember that game. I jused to play it in kindergarten.
"Anyway, to make a long story short, John Rolfe died".
Santa killed him. Merry Christmas.
As long as it's not James
😂😂😂😂I work in a nursing home where an old guy called John Rolfe is a resident. This comment is damn hilarious!
@@Kawayolnyo no.
@@Kawayolnyo I did. Jerk.
"Sorry, Pocahontas, you're too young for me. You'll have to wait two years and become a widow before we can be together."
Lol her getting with a canoe is worse
@@dragonempress8367 I don't know, hat Cano has a lot of Wood.
Nigerian movies in a nutshell
@@sgti.n.k9023 I sort of understand that
That Jeff Bennett Genie saying "Ooookaaaay" gets me everytime.
Anastasia *and* Pocahontas in one package? Someone should give this to their world history teacher as a birthday gift.
Only if you want them to instantly retire for failing their class so hard
Or a gag gift.
"Pocahontas you are a child."
"You don't you love me?"
"That's not true..."
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
REGARDING THE REAL POCAGONTAS' AGE, I DIDNT THINK THEY WERE GONNA GO THERE, BUT I *REALLY* DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE GONNA GO *THERE*.
The real Pocahontas was 12 years old, I believe
And the real John Smith was 50
Of course the talking canoe was useless to the plot. He spends his time in the water.
PikaTheProsperous, He’s wet, so he all useless now.
Beauty gasp
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
He didn't need the water to be useless because deep down in his heart, he never had a use.
At least he's not a talking bush that makes me question if I'm stoned.
I’m not gonna lie, the bird screaming ‘twat!’ and plummeting downwards had me in stitches 😂
I honestly thought Phelous edited in the ship being drowned when John Rolfe died
The fact that it’s a part of the actual movie makes it even better
I used to live in Virginia, birds dropping leis on people is a big problem. That's why I left
Oh my God! I saw this as a kid! I was in a dentist office for kids and they played this for people waiting, I remember being both confused that there was a second Pocahontas movie and especially the talking canoe. I remember distinctly thinking as a kid "Wow, that's... stupid."
I love hearing stories like this in Phelous' comment section.
I agree, the talking canoe was just stupid.
If you want to know who voices Pocahontas in this...it's Mona Marshall who also does the voice of Izzy from Digimon and Kyle's mom from South Park.
*in Cartman voice* Weeeeeeeeeelllllllllll Pocahontas is a bitch, she’s a big fat bitch, she’s the biggest bitch in the whole wide world……….
So most of the women in South Park? Like I'm pretty sure any woman that doesn't sound like a man imitating one is her.
Mary Kay Bergman used to voice most of the woman on South Park but (In phelous voice) Then she died, on November 11, 1999 after shooting herself with a Mossberg 12-gauge shotgun. So after her death the female voices went to Mona Marshall and Eliza Schneider.
But then Schneider left in 2004 so she was replaced with April Stewart.
@@thechuchofthecentury3853 Oh...poor thing.
I`m wondering if this Pocahontas chopped down Grandma Willow and made that canoe from her wood? It would explain its sentience.
But grandma Willow wasn't nearly as annoying.
I never claimed she was annoying, but given this version`s of Pochahontas`s casual disregard for life.......
@@daliborjovanovic510 Need I direct you to my comment about canoe rights activism?
@@daliborjovanovic510 mmm
17:46 Her boots just probably grew taller. After all, it's been 2 years.
Apostolos Christou I've had my converse sneakers for over 2 years now and they have not grown any taller. Should I get some sort of fertilizer?
@@otakunthevegan4206
Yes you should.
@@robertstephen8372 My mid tops turn to high tops!
😂her BOOTS grew. I can’t stop laughing
The Ocean is wet...it's completely useless now.
That... Thing is a canoe? More like a cracked peanut shell.
Bryan Fury it looks like a tree demon
@@diegodankquixote-wry3242 it looks like a brown dick.
Kinda looks like a deflated air balloon. At least that was what I thought he was when I saw the thumbnail.
Golden Films was surprisingly closer to the actual story of Pocahontas than Disney’s was, but still made some random changes.
I wish that there was a movie adaptation of the actual story of Pocahontas. It’s quite interesting that a chief’s caught daughter went from a “savage” prisoner of war to a celebrity in England after she learned English from her captors, but no movie adaptation seems to want to tell that story.
It's because Hollywood is deathly allergic to historical accuracy. That's why all their films based on Historical events are always the furthest thing from the truth.
"It’s quite interesting that a chief’s caught went from a “savage” prisoner of war to a celebrity in England after she learned English from her captors" yeah, it's called Imperialism. They also beat her old beliefs out of her and baptized her into Christianity. "Oh, look how we transformed this ill-bred savage into a civilized child of God!" is Colonizer 101. Hell, the reason she and John Rolfe met King James I was to ask him for money to convert the Powhatan tribe into Christians.
Gwendolyn Stata Her account was quite different from what you described.
She claimed that she eventually picked up the language from listening to them as their prisoner of war, and willingly converted to Christianity soon after. So, you’re half right about the Imperialism.
After the war was over, she chose to go to England of her own accord to show the English people what these “savages” were actually like. It’s important to note that she had given birth before being taken prisoner, and in her tribe’s tradition, the mother from a different tribe was to marry, give birth, and then return to her original or different tribe to repeat the process, so she probably saw her voyage to England as continuing this tradition.
She enjoyed quite a privileged life as a celebrity in England as a “civilized savage”, married there, and even had a child, and as was tradition of her tribe, she was to leave her new home in England to return to her tribe of origin in America, but she died before she could return.
Her story isn’t at all tragic, like most Native American stories usually are, despite the rocky start and kind of sad ending. It’s quite similar to Mary Rowlandson’s story, where the inverse happened. Both are very interesting in how they don’t try to demonize the other side and instead have a sort of fascination with them and seem to have enjoyed living in their societies.
+Aaron: I rather like that take on it, but from what I hear there are also at least some issues about just how reliable any of the accounts of her life are. When I was a kid I even heard some doubt that she even really existed, at least in the way the accounts are told.
Ryodraco History’s full of people doubting that things happened/people existed. People have said the same things about Shakespeare and Olaudah Equiano as well, but their own accounts and the accounts of people around them are usually enough to go off on and they almost always check out.
Even then, I can’t say that it’s that unbelievable to think that a 13 year old girl would become obsessed with a culture that’s foreign to her and travel there. I’d definitely want to go to this strange, unknown world that’s far more advanced than my town just for curiosity’s sake, but she also had tribal birthing traditions to incentivize her journey too.
Even the deer in the movie are thinking "Dafuq?"
I love how the close-captions actually points out that the canoe is an abomination by referring to it as such every time it spoke.
I adore the subtitles in Phelous videoe. The one I love the most is the one in Christmas Tree in which they subbed the theme song as "Opening song slightly resembling farts" and that's the perfect description.
So not only did it also cover Pocahontas 2 but also the fanfiction of the fans who prefer John Smith over John Rolfe.
A.K.A. John Smith himself.
Pocahontas 2: Love Never Dies
The eagle having nipples really freaks me out because birds SHOULD NOT have mammaries. Mammary glands, as the name suggests, are a strictly mammalian thing. Birds, being sauropsids, wouldn't have them under ANY circumstances.
But . . . but what about the girl duck taking a bath in Howard the Duck? DUCKTITS!
@@graemesmith6721 different planet. Doesn't apply to ours.
@@WxIxLxLxIxAxMxS So you're saying that on Duckworld, ducks evolved mammary glands while retaining the ability to lay eggs? Not impossible, I suppose. There are egg-laying mammals on Earth, such as the platypus and echidna. Of course, those animals lack teats, but there's no reason the inhabitants of Duckworld couldn't have evolved actual breasts.
Birds are dinos' cousins, now I'm imagining a T Rex w its tits out as if it were a mammal. 👁👄👁 wtf
Life, ah, finds a way.
Ironically, the day before this review was posted, my boyfriend changed his Steam profile picture to Wabuu drinking.
Wabuu is life.
+someone someone
Unfortunately, most of the Steam users are sooo stuuuuupid, hehehe.
(I wasn't sure if it was irony, but I couldn't think of the right word for it. XD)
I sent him footage in front of my greenscreen. I knew the risks I was taking.
Lol.
CAMEOS DON'T WORK THAT WAY!!!
Truly worth it. For the lolz...
Hi, John...
Robin: "Shut up, D1."
Never thought I'd hear the word, "Twat", spoken in a kids' cartoon. But, there we are.
Dingo Pictures would be proud.
Yeah, they would be, wouldn't they? From the comments from German-speakers I've seen below Phelous's Dingo reviews, that kind of cursing, inappropriate by British or North American standards in kids' cartoons, was apparently permissible in German ones back when those were made. Different countries, different cultures, I reckon.
@@AnInsideJoke What the damn hell!
Bad ol puddy twat.
That bastard!
Wait a minute.
A girl in a blue outfit, with loose hair, who falls in love.
An anthropomorphic object that is used as transportation.
A small talkative bird with a large beak.
A flying character with a large chest, who helps the main character.
A villain dress in red, has a thin mustache, bony build
A short, portly man.
Was this suppose to be a Aladdin knock off?
Did they changed their minds what story to do, half way ripping off, I mean writing the characters?
Hey, they can hit two annoying birds with one stone!
"What if we made aladdin without Aladdin?"
Considering that this came out before the Disney version it probably is more based on Aladdin.
Chief "Oh-kaaay" and King "Mah Gawd" from Lion and the King need to hang out and go bowling sometime.
Chief Oh-kaaay from Golden Films' Pocahontas vs Chief MAGAWD from Dingo's Pocahontas
Choose your fighter!
Blue Pocahontas was later reincarnated as a toy version of herself in Miracles in Toyland. Everyday she wished God would grant her the sweet release of death.
Sounds like a neat idea for some Goodtimes Lore.
Considering the bizarre ways she's remembered, I wouldn't be surprised if the _real_ Pocahontas would just wish for total oblivion at this point.
"She wished for death, but there was nothing out there to kill her. The spark of thought within her grew dim. And then... _silent."_
@@alexv3375 Oh no, God was there. He just doesn’t do assisted suicide.
Blue-ahontas! Lol
Real historical figures didn't die tragically for their lives to be turned into... this.
Could be worse...at least it's not "The Legend of the Titanic".
A fate worse than death?
As Always Yes. To be forever ingrained into people brains as shitty cartoon characters.
IAmTheUnison
I’d love to see Phelous tackle the animated Titanic nightmares. Walker’s reviews were pretty good IIRC (I’ve quit watching him so I’m going by memory) but those abominations were just _made_ for the Phelous treatment. He’d probably uncover a lot more about the movies’ origins, too- I think the one with the evil whalers might actually be from North Korea.
@@IAmTheUnison Don't give him any ideas!
Golden Films to paint with all the colors of the passing wind.
more like the breaking wind.
wstine79 every video I watch, you leave a comment on it
@@lukethespook2784 sorry. Must have same taste in videos.
wstine79 also what's that green thing on your TH-cam profile picture
@@lukethespook2784 a creature mask I made.
That Canoe abomination is going to replace the Dingo Pictures demon bush in my nightmares.
juan ortiz Nah, the blood bush still haunts my nightmares......
Bring me the blood when it falls... Bring me BLOOOOOOD!!!!
I can't decide which is more horrifying
Can't you imagine him making saucy and lewd comments about ladies sitting on him? Brrr
This character concept is an ignominy
It's like a horrifying version of a crappy Pixar film
I made a sentient canoe once but it just sat my garage screaming for death... at least after a few years it spirit broke and now it just trys to drown itself when I take it out to the lake
I made a sentiment canoe too, but it kept calling itself the King of Red Lions and wouldn't let me sail anywhere until I went to some place called Dragonroost Island.
@@mushroomhead3619 iamfamiliarwiththethingtowhichyouarereferring.png
Ah, typical Liveship.
@@tessfabled4115
I know right?
The one sentient canoe I made kept trying to pick fights with warships.
It's like they went out of their way to include some bits that are historically accurate and then shit all over them.
Wait, did he re upload the video or is the date on your comment just messing up? It says it was uploaded today but that your comment was posted two weeks ago.
@@TheWilderCat he just made the video public. If you support him on Paetreon you can see videos earlier
Ah ok.
Thanks for answering fam.
@@TheWilderCat no problem, my dude
Know what's ironic? This movie is more disturbing than the true story. Canoes like that can only exist as creations of pure evil.
Like the evil dead...
“Ash versus the creepy ass canoe”
Demon Canoe!! Kill It With Fire!!! XD
Is it just me, or is Phelous' take on Waboo just the cutest thing ever?
Cute? Waboo? I mean if you like axe murderers....
Give Dingo Pictures this. Their version of Pocahontas had Wabuu and the Blood Bush. Which automatically makes it the most enjoyable and faithful adaptation of Pocahontas
That eagle is undoubtedly someone’s fursona.
No furry I know has such a bad taste. And that's saying something.
Wouldn't that be feathersona?
I've seen them called featheries, but I don't think it's used very often.
Lexivor it's not. Birds are still furries.
Id rather not think about that
That John Smith looks like a male Belle...
Am I the only one who sees this?
Maybe, even the son of Belle and Gaston?
I'll never be able to get that image out of my head now.
I thought that too. Lol
YES! That's exactly what I thought when I saw him.
This is very much Bad Future.
Reminds me of all the "Draco and Hermione's secret lovechild" fanfics.
''Red man here, white man there, I don't like it. Finished! Play another game. Oookaaaaaay?''
Its not done
I legit thought John Rolfe was just two years later John Smith with a beard. Was there nothing they could do to differentiate their faces a little?
That would require actual talent and genuine effort. This is Golden Films! It is not done! XD
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute....Charles Martinet did voices for Golden Films? Huh...weird.
While he is known for the voice of Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi, Charles Martinet has had a good resume of various voice work and even some live-action roles. For example, he was the voice of that one notable dragon in Skyrim, he voiced a character in Cel Damage, had a role as the main character's father in The Game (1994), had an appearance in an episode of ER, and most notably was the narrator for Runner 2 and Runner 3. Heck, he's even playable in the latter game, which is freaking nuts.
He didn't just voice act in Golden Films' Anastasia, he also wrote forit
@@soveryumble7250 oh yeah... can't forget that... even though I want to...
@Raye Johnson O-kay...
Yup, I remember he was Fowl Mouth (the black-and-white gangster duck with the Tommy Gun) in _Cel Damage._ If you listen closely, you can definitely hear a bit of Wario in his voiceover, there.
Blue is one of the easiest natural dyes to make and the native Americans did use it quite a bit. I don't think they regularly wore bright blue clothing though.
That's a canoe?! I thought it's a rotten banana peel, crying tears of blood from the agony of being brought to life.
This canoe reminds me of the one from Pajama Sam who's afraid of water because he's afraid he'll sink. I didn't know this was a common affliction! Canoe aquaphobia therapy could be the new up-and-coming industry worth investigating!
Emberilliance Otto the boat!!!
I AM SO EXCITED FOR A NEW PHELOUS REVIEW!!! THANK YOU!!
I remember watching this as a kid, I always thought I dreamt that.
So what's more terrifying, thinking it's a dream or knowing it actually exists? :)
I almost did thinking it was the Disney version, I knew that it wasn't immediately and stopped watching.
As Always same! Do you remember the Snow White movie? She had long hair and someone was turned to stone? It was called everafter or something??
2:52 Chickenhawks and eagles are part of the Accipitridae family, so it's actually the size and wingspan separating them.
I know, I'm looking for logic in a Golden Film.
Speaking of Chicken hawks, why didn't Phelous make a reference to Henry Hawk?
+Tommy Deonauth's Achives Probably because most people these days wouldn't get the reference. Only animation buffs and hardcore Looney Tunes fans would know who he is.
I thought the chickenhawk looks like a parrot...
Also the chicken hawk looks too much like a parrot
This version doesn't have the honour of Waibu being in it so 0/10
This version needs Wabuu and the Blood Bush...all other versions of Pocahontas are so stupid.
Waibu is best Waifu
@Harsh Sidhu Harsh Sidhu all versions of Pocahonstas are sooooooooooo stupid period. eheheheehehe
No, the canoe shouldn't be dead. It should have never been alive at all.
The medicine man of the native tribe was the true villain of this story. He even used sorcery to change Pocahontas' fate. Simply creepy
marplatense31 that canoe got wet. It’s completely useless now
It was alive as a tree before being turned into a canoe.
I said the same thing.
So dead?
6:41
Well, it looks like Gaston's complete obsession for Belle has reached a new all-time high. XD
LOooool ....
Shall I ever get to meet Cam Clarke, I will ask him only about Goodtimes, regardless of he remembering it or not.
He probably sat at a bar to forget about them.
If those net worth web sites are to believed, Cam Clarke is one of the richest voice actors... ever. I found at least two net worth sites labeling his as $90M. If that's true, then he's richer than Jim Cummings, Frank Welker, Tara Strong, Rob Paulsen, and Mel Blanc, who was worth $25M at the time of his death. Not to mention, it would Cam wealthier than most A-listers. My point is, he could definitely say no to goofy roles like this.
@@ExplorerDS6789 Also, Cam Clarke is definitely LGBTQ+!
@@scottylewis8124 along with Jim Cummings, who voiced both the Golden Films version of Baloo for the former’s Jungle Book and Disney’s version of Baloo For Disney’s Jungle Book 2, Cam Clarke voiced The Golden films version of Hercules for the former’s film as well as Disney’s version of Hercules for Disney’s Hercules tv show!
@@SlapstickGenius23 does that mean he's gay?
It's always a good day when Phelous reviews another Golden Films cartoon.
"I'm not leaving this house because of Hurricane Florence."
:::sees notification of Golden Films review::
"I'm gonna go for a walk outside."
::sees that it's Phelous:::
"Nope, I'll stay put."
RIP
But.... But, dude: it's Phelous.....
@@98953812 for him, I'll stay inside.
wstine79 Good man.
To be honest, i like the animesque art style of Golden Films. Too bad for the shitty scripts.
The story of the real Pocahontas
Her real name was Maoka. Pocahontas was her nickname. She was a little girl when she saved John Smith and there's a possibility that the danger and the rescue was being staged without John's knowing that he was in any real danger according to some accounts.
When she was older, she was kidnapped, but her father decided not to attack after seeing her daughter was happily married to John Rolfe. She gave herself the name Rebecca for her English name. She converted to Christianity of her own free will and tried to help other members of her tribe to do the same. She traveled to England once with her husband and never returned because she became very ill and died young in England.
Wait…..huh?😅
She was 22 years old when she died
@@cheneethompson5756 22 is a pretty young age to die at
@@A-Microwave yeah! Her and John rolfe had a son together
Then, she died of smallpox in England
"The one with the living canoe" - sounds like an episode of Friends 😂
So...a canoe made of now dead wood is sentient, and is afraid of doing its intended task for fear of dying?
Ow. That hurts my brain.
5:00
Well, I'm never enjoying Vivaldi's Spring ever again in my life. Thanks for that, movie(!)
Remember that one guy who got hucked out the window?
We'll always have the Winter concert ....
I was just about to add "Winter is better anyways".
I thought she looked like a cross between Princess Jasmine from Aladdin and Belle from Beauty and The Beast when she was at The English Ball. She looked like Princess Jasmine wearing Belle's golden gown
Well, why just rip of one Disney princess when you can do all three?
What a great way to start the cartoon, making fun of the protagonist’s name.
4:58 AGAIN With the cliffs in Virginia! Where do these guys keep coming up with all of this? I have been here all my life and the only cliffs I ever seen are in the moutains, in the AWAY from the coast.
Same. I live in Virginia Beach, and used to visit Jamestown for field trips all the time when I was little. Everything is flat out here.
Martialartfruituser I went to the place that was probably Werowocomoco once, and it was all pretty much at sea level. But who knows? Maybe the ground sank 30 feet in the last 400 years.
Didn’t you know? The white man made those beautiful cliffs disappear!
Esuerc the rolling hills of suburban golf courses
As soon as the white man's putrid feet arrived upon the cliff it sank into the sea.
And people said Disney's Pocahontas was in poor taste...
Well it still is but this worse.
AmishParadise27 (AKA: Tyler) so people are really whiny about historical accuracy even though Disney has a right to creative liberties? They don’t have to be 100% accurate otherwise it’s no longer a Disney movie(plus a child with an adult.....yeah can’t make it a family movie)
Also people complain about how the movie treated Native Americans even though I think the treatment and portrayal of them was very respectful and they were all voiced by Native American actors. At least it's not like those propaganda Looney Tunes cartoons.
I just found Disneys version really boring.
Fair enough. I grew up watching the movie on VHS so I have a nostalgic connection with it. It's not perfect, but I still like it.
Leave it to Golden Films to give us the TRUE adaptation of Pocahontas (although Dingo Pictures was a close second)!
Ma god!
Yeah who could forget about Wabuu and Blood Bush I'm appalled most history books forgot about them.
@@year111 Most of these historians are SOOOO stuuuupid, hehehe.
@@year111censorship. A bloodthirsty bush and a child murdering raccoon are too hardcore, even for history books
I can't watch this right now but I'm so excited to later. I love these videos!
The chickenhawk looks like a parrot and the eagle looks like a seagull... this is pissing off my inner biologist.
Fun fact, the bit where john was blown up was actually ACCURATE! I know right? Because of his stances on the Powhatan, some of his supporters theorized he was under attempted assassination. It is debated wether it was an accidentor not.
Okay who the crap is the WRITER on these Golden Films things; Stupid the Canoe's """"funny"""" dialogue sounds way too similar to at least a dozen others (of Golden Films in particular) where they think saying something in far too many words is itself funny when it's really mostly babbling garbage
Diane Eskenazi(?) I believe
I bet that creators of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker watched this version of Pocahontas and came up the idea for King of Red Lions boat.
Caarajack At least you don't want to burn him and felt bad at the end of the game
Brian Humerez 😂
And it was magic and didn't make you want to vomit just by looking at it
"Noooo, Link! We can't go on an adventure! What if I get wet?! And that Ganondorf is really mean and scary!"
Wanted: Extra Master Sword
When: Immediately.
The fact that Golden included in their Anastasia the Romanov's descending into that basement and being freaking SHOT!?!
That is psychotic. But I guess historically correct?!
Still more correct than this one
Clearly this film should've been called Annoying Birds.
This was the very first dvd I ever owned! When I was about 7, my dad bought me this thinking I’d like it... I only watched it cause the fact a dvd existed amazed me
"That canoe is terrifying good thing it's water bou-"
Canoe steps out of water with it's anthropomorphic legs
"Oh god, it's adapting to land!"
I love the cake scene!
What a way to break a promise, but since he said it doesn’t have sneezing powder in it, I guess we should eat it!
UM-NOM-NOM-NOM!
This has to be one of the funniest videos I’ve ever watched.
Old Man: That canoe is all wet, it's completely... wait... I'm not even in the video?
Wabuu: Of course not, you stupid Old Individual. Now... White Fang, TERRORIZE!
(Beat, White Fang does not appear)
Old Man: Uh...
Wabuu: Um, I said... White Fang, TERRORIZE!!!
(Beat, Crickets chirp and White Fang Still doesn't appear, Wabuu gets agitated)
Wabuu: Well, if you want something done right...
(Grabs a shotgun)
Old Man: Aww... crap.
(Wabuu shoots Old Man in the neck and chest)
Old Man: Ooooooh.... (coughs) Damn it... I knew I should have run away during the beats... (coughs)
Wabuu: That's what you get for having Charlie scratch me up the last time!
@@TommyDeonauthsArchives
It would be funnier if said cricket that was chirping was Cricket Crockett. But that's a funny reply nonetheless!
5:42 “Look my evil friend!” Even she knows that the talking birds are evil!!
Yes, I know she said “eagle” after I watched it the second time, but I still think it sounds like “evil”!
I remember a couple years ago, when I went diving through my family’s old collection of VHS tapes to rewatch some Disney films. I actually remember finding the tape to this exact movie right next to the actual Disney Pocahontas.
I had no idea what it was doing here, until I finally discovered the Phelous reviews of all these knock-offs and saw how ubiquitous they were. So it’s official: my family too must have gotten suckered into getting one back in the day.
Too bad I did not have Beauty and the Beast starring Old Man, though, but at least I recently found out that my friend does... He’s completely useless now! HYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Just happened to watch this on its fourth birthday, one of my favorites to come back to!
So when are you going to review Indiana Jone? He hates snacks apparently
Illinois John and the Sears tower of doom.
I can't wait to see Indiana Jones and the I hate snacks.
Indianapolis Jones and the Boys of the Trailer Park
Iowa James and the last croissant.
I can't stop seeing Cam Clarke bird as a baby flying chocobo.
Makes more sense to my mind than him being a chicken hawk.
The living canoe may be most disturbing thing I've seen from Goodtimes. It's unsettling and out of place.
Believe it or not, this stupid movie actually got a video game adaptation on the PC. The developer went on to make the Discworld games shortly after
Get phelous to look at golden films games
oh god its real
HOLY DAMN.
gin idontthinkso We don’t need to torture him *that* much.
@@unamed2516 Unless he decides to torture himself with it. Then we'll all happily watch.
Oh my god. I had this Pocahontus on VHS. I remember really loving it, but jesus...
And to think, there was a movie that was worse than Pocahontas II...
Oh... dear... dear, dear ddd-dear....
@@TommyDeonauthsArchives golden films sucks!
Considering how The Handsome of Notre Dame was 10x worse than even Disney’s “The Hunchback of Notre Dame II” could ever be, that does not surprise me, though.
@@markcobuzzi826 did anyone even look at these films before they were dumped in the bargain bin? Little Angels was bad, but this one fucks you harder than life itself! It's a hurricane of shit! I can't believe humanity was capable of degrading itself so low as to produce such a large amount of annoyance and ass!
Sachi from SAO Episode 3 I really don’t think that movie is bad it’s not amazingly great but to me it’s always been good as the original.
LOL 0:54 rather than looking devastated he looks like he's about to sneeze. XD
And to think my dad bought this movie because he was too cheap to buy the Disney version. Thanks, dad!
Gotta love John Smith teleporting into place at 12:29. And seeing as how Pocahontas is apparently a shape shifter, I guess they were made for each other.
That anthro boat is probably the *UGLIEST* charater design i ever seen just.just....urk *Barf*
I hope you'll do Young Pocahontas, it's hilarious. :)
Eilidh Macleod You’re name is nice are you Scottish? If you aren’t I still like you’re name.
Was watching this while my wife was playing a game. She heard you talking about the sentient canoe and aparantly she was one of the children "fortunate" enough to have had their parents get them this movie back in the day lol
I saw this film on VHS when I was 8 years old
This one is the Pocahontas that I grew up with. I've barely seen the Disney version.
3:17 Can we appreciate how craptacular this animation is? The two birdbrains collide in mid air and literally disappear in a puff of smoke within a single frame. A+ effort guys.
"But this man was not like those others, father! I know it! He was handsome, and therefore good!"
That villain guy looks like a mix between Mr. Rodent and Mr. Burns🤣🤣
So what you're saying is he's indestructible.
Poor Mr. Bennett. Going from Johnny Bravo & Gargoyles to this.
"Ooookay."
The saddest part about this movie is that the little yellow bird is voiced by Cam Clarke the voice of Leonardo from the 1987 series of TMNT.
The canoe sounds suspiciously like Ariel's official royal pet.
Official royal pet?
@@andreasnickmann370
Official royal pet.
@@pikminfan6778 official royal pet?
The ocean is wet? I learned something new, Thanks Golden Films!
I think it's funny that Jeff Bennett's in this as when ANIMANIACS did their parody of Disney's POCAHONTAS he did the voice of John Smith.
Also, I'm pretty sure he's also the voice of the Monsieur Rodent-looking dude cuz he sounds way too much like Brooklyn for it to not be him.
every time I see that canoe, the old homestar runner quote of "Im an abomination, and Im coming to your house after school" pops into my head. without fail.