Clearly Goldilocks is Rapunzel's mother as a child. She picks flowers from someone else's garden without even asking, eats food that doesn't belong to her, and generally has no respect for anyone's property but her own.
I swear Goldilocks is an introverts nightmare: You leave the house for once and when you come back, someone's broke in, destroyed your stuff, ate your food, and is sleeping in your bed
I want a version of Goldilocks where Goldilocks is a starving feral girl who thinks the house has been newly abandoned and doesn't mean to wreck the bears' stuff. When the bears come home they take her in as a second cub and it becomes Princess Mononoke with Goldilocks helping them kill the local village of salad-thieves.
Head canon: Goldilocks grows up to be the evil witch. Her clumsiness was shown at the end of Repunzel when she accidentally got herself stuck in the tower.
Tareltonlives Well when she did it she had to run for her life Plus the human race pretty much exists solely for the purpose of being hypocrites these days
So Goldilocks was a thief making sense she lives near the Boring’s because she is a criminal and so she would live in thieves town and she was kicked out of her house by her mother for being miserable and had been kicked out of the house for being careless growing up. She still has not learned from her careless mistake and lived life carelessly until she trapped herself in the tower. She clearly has changed in the sense she doesn’t steal anymore but blindly has a go at the Boring’s for stealing unless of she still does steal but she is always angry when someone else steals which makes her a hypocrite but she doesn’t learn to take care between herself and others.
Same here. I always knew there was something off about Goldilocks story in terms of having a point, so it's nice to get confirmation that they mucked up the story so much from generation to generation.
@TheKpa11 -- Yup. I have heard that the original, rapey version of Sleeping Beauty had the moral go something like "good things come to good girls who are patient" or something like that. And then there was the original version of Red Riding Hood, whose entire purpose was for French people to make an oral sex joke that would go over the kids' heads.
Do you know I thought the exact same thing but I suppose (and this is just me) the bears thought nobody could break in due to it being in the middle of nowhere and nobody would dare breaking into a house inhabited by bears.
I have a theory, what if Goldilocks was the witch as a child, and the bears punished her by forcing her to live next to Mr. and Mrs. Boring and keep the garden in good shape and give them the crops for free for all eternity.
That information about the original story was really interesting, it's not often you hear a myth or story about animals being antagonized by humans and the human is actually considered the bad guy. Usually the humans horrible actions are framed as heroic in some way and you just feel really bad for what happened to the animals.
@Dusk Raccoon Yea humans got instincts and work the same way as the animals do in many ways but most people want to believe that we humans are above all of that stuff and dont have any instincts only because we are more intelligent than other animals.
This is why I love the Family guy joke about little red riding hood, where Stevie (as red) points out that the huntsman behavior of violently bisecting the wolf could mean he's just a psychopath, not a "hero".
So, to recap: The Bears are now paranoid and have hidden all their precious belongings into boxes and removed them from sight. Goldilocks has nowhere to go because her mother has disowned her, and has received no retaliation by the Bears, nor does she have any intention of fixing what she's broken. You know what? I think I have a solution/idea for a sequel, since this story isn't finished. *Goldilocks 2: A PARTY AT WABUU'S*
Goldilocks ran further into the woods only to encounter Wabuu, together the two of them stole and vandalized more than either one ever had before and killed all who got in their way.
@@jessicamccollough965 Umm, I believe the correct weight is 134551246 up 09855875326890965e24589 it eww 135 OP 832147iretu HD wrt uh sar ewe y8jfe3 toit DJ rw es jyr2378i gdx sw45ut54689yd
Sheesh, I dunno what's worse: Papa Bear taking his slow time with the garden, Mama Bear's taste in decor, Baby Bear's 'fusspot' tendencies (bordering on freaking sociopathy), or the living whirlwind of destruction and invasion of privacy that is Goldilocks. Also, nice Gummi Bears reference. =P
wow in the versions Im familiar with she just eats and goes to sleep. I've never seen one where she destroys their house. I kinda feel like that's worse then just eating a bowl of food and passing out.
Even if that meme is an oldie, I'd happily watch Chuck Jones' Papa Bear rip this movie to shreds like he did to Goldilocks in that version. "You make-a shitty animation, you waste-a the disc space!"
If it was so cold outside that the bears needed warm clothes, why was father bear working on his garden? Wouldn't that be kind of (pardon the pun) fruitless?
Why would they even need to wear warm clothes anyway they’re you know Bears covered in thick fur. Seems like covering themselves will just make them all die of heat stroke.
@@phreakazoith2237 Huh, don't know how I missed that. I still argue that the bears were a bit over dressed for a cold spring morning. Also, I'm no gardening expert, but I still think the father bear should've waited until it was warmer outside.
Every time derpy Goldilocks falls or crushes something, she makes the ground shake. She is quite a bit heavier than the bears. Odd. Maybe she is related to the Juggernaut.
I know everyone thinks Goldilocks grows up to be the Witch, but I think she grew up to be Rapunzel's mother. If she got away with garden theft in her youth, small wonder she tries it again as an adult
I hate how they keep throwing around those adjectives. Just like Rapunzel's mom couldn't stop talking about "fresh, green, crispy, crunchy salad", this bear won't shut up about "lovely, hot, thick, bubbling porridge".
Papa Bear: Someone's been writing a crappy version of our story! Mama Bear: Someone's been writing a crappy version of our story!? What the hell!!!!!? Baby Bear: Here they are! It's that danm Bevenfield and they're sleeping in my danm bed!!!!! Mama Bear: Looks like we're having Bevenfield writers for supper tonight boys!!! Baby Bear: And that inconsiderate brat Goldilocks will be our dessert! 🐻🐻🐻🔪🍽️🔪👱🏻♀️
Roald Dahl actually wrote a version of the story where the bears eat her at the end. It's in a collection he wrote called Revolting Rhymes, and it's hilarious.
If Dingo and Bevanfield ever released a “Marvel vs DC” type movie, it would be Wabbu murdering all the Bevanfield characters with an ax while they sat around discussing where said ax came from and the rest of the Dingo characters just laugh uncontrollably at Bevanfield for existing.
That "he doesn't need friends he has me" sounded awfully familiar. I think this was one of the many fairy tale videos that they would play on rainy and snowy days when I was in kindergarten. 17:51 Oh My Gosh! This WAS one of the tapes they would play. I remember that line very clearly. (Don't worry guys they also showed us quality children's entertainment like reading rainbow.) Phelous you reminded me of a part of childhood I had forgotten about.
Is it wrong of me to say that... I kinda like the bears designs in this film? I know the film is pretty bad from a writing standpoint and Goldilocks is just an awful character, but I do find the 3 bears to be... um... passable in terms of character design. Heck, the baby bear does like sorta cute... Oh who am I kidding... it's Bevanfield. Of course it's wrong.
Acktually- Goldilocks and the Three Bears, alongside many children stories, is so repetitious because it helps young children retain knowledge. Adults have that already with years of experiences of doing something, like reading, or walking. Children who are just learning that, need the constant repetition to make better connections in their brain.
I mean yeah, that's true. I remember being very small and enjoying that kind of repetition from Teletubbies, but I'm glad my mother kept me away from Bevenfeild and got me into Beatrix Potter instead.
I’ve read a version where baby bear and Goldilocks were friends and they had invited her over and at the end of the story she had to stay there to clean up the mess
Nah man, I agree. If Dingo is the very bottom of the barrel, then Bevanfield is a moldy puddle of especially horrid, caustic diarrhea underneath the barrel. They make Dingo look good by comparison. At least Dingo would have had the balls to frame Goldilocks as the villain she is, and kill her off in the end.
germans don't play around with their fairytales. Kids get burned, their thumbs hacked off and then milled into chicken feed if they are being brats. @@theuncalledfor
If I was cleverer I'd have two other youtubers who'd review this and then I could say This review is too Long This review is too short This review is just right
I always thought the chair, porridge, and bed stuff were just how each liked them. The dad bear for example loved hot porridge while the mother likes it cold.
Have you considered visiting any of these studios in person? Like when you explore those haunted abandoned asylums? I feel it would be similar experience for you and the audience.
A much better version of Goldilocks is the version in the TV series "Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child". Goldilocks is established as a delinquent who prides herself on being able to get away with anything (usually by pinning the crime on others), and the bears actually berate her when they catch her in their house. This, combined with her behavior leaving her with no friends, motivates her to shape up.
I never thought I would hear about a cartoon where I hated every character until now. Grumpy bear is more endearing then all 3 bears and that's rather sad.
"Shouldn't the smallest one be cold and the middle one be just right?" That would make sense. That's why the laws of thermodynamics probably suggest otherwise.
By now almost every character in a Bevanfield cartoon is a terrible person. Vandalism Goldilocks, The Borings, Incest Supporting Father and the Evil/Good Fortune Teller to name a few.
My favourite Bad Characters are Baby Bear laughing at his parents' house being partially destroyed, and Madame Dimsung who can go from crying over her son dying to yelling at her son after finding out he's still alive in -1.571 seconds.
Remember back when Bevanfield scored voice actors like Derek Jacobi and Christopher Lee? Hell, remember back when Bevanfield *had more than one voice actor?*
the rhytm and repetition of tales like this is calming and soothing for children... i adore your history lessons btw, i never knew the nasty old ladies versions
16:32 I love how the expression that Baby Bear has pretty much shows how surprised he is that Scene Interrupting Bear broke into his house, and for such a brief time.
Hello, Phelous! I love you reviews) Your English is great, i mean your tone, i perfectly understand you without any subtitles. My laugh was heard everywhere. Thank! Your fan from Russia)))
You are an excellent reviewer, Phelous. Your voices are on point, and your comedy style always surprise me. I'm looking forward to my 30th birthday on April 19. Keep on reviewing, Phelous. I'm sure your review on the GoodTimes/Golden Films adaptation of Thumbelina will be good.
Holy moly, I've heard SO many requests for GoodTimes' Thumbelina. Now my head is spinning as to what the h*ck it could REALLY be like... I'm lucky (or unlucky?) that my parents actually quality-controlled what I watched and I was never exposed to GoodTimes, but all these comments are tempting me down a dark path.
I know Goldilocks true lineage! Think about it, she breaks into someone's home, steals their food, sleeps in their bed, picks their flowers, and runs off not taking any responsibility for her actions. Remind you of anyone? .... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (I'm convinced one of old man's sons found a woman to tolerate him, had a child, and now Goldilocks carries on her grandfather's lineage)
You know... after seeing Bevanfield's version of Baloo from the Jungle Book, I can at least give it to them that they eventually learned to draw some semi-decent looking bears. Not much, but it's something.
I'm assuming the one where she just teleports onto the st. paul's cathedral needle because my guttered mind is drifting to....another... possibility....
The more I listen to the "He's a bit too tidy. He's a fusspot. He has no friends" segments - the more I think they could've actually been hinting towards Aspergers(since those traits are usually 'signs' which push teachers and parents to seek a diagnosis in a small child - even if it turns out their instincts were wrong in the end). That, to me, would make the most sense...if you know, it wasn't supposed to be a Goldilocks Story. I don't know *why* they included this suspicion to vaguely hint towards - but they sure did.
So Goldilocks and Rapunzel are from Thieves-town, so that means Rapunzel is now the Queen of Thieves after marrying the Prince! Also that would be great for a low budget game version of Skyrim's Riften, after all, criminal activities are common.
14:27 She's also fully aware of the fact that she's just broken into someone's home, ruined a bunch of stuff, and is now actively plotting her get-away; meaning she knows full well what she's done is fucked up. This Makes Her Look Like Even MORE Of A Criminal!! Is there a version of this story where The Three Bears just straight-up eat her?! -__- 14:49 You realize that anybody born after the late 1990s probably isn't going to get that reference, right? XD
Great job as always!! And wow, I'm shocked at how moralless this tale is, when I was growing up I never really thought much about the story, nor was I aware of its original origins.. (Love when you explain those, btw) ..But looking at it now it's all pretty obvious. Also, I think Goldilocks and Caillou are cut from the same cursed cloth. Together they would make a deadly combination, their wrath would be swift and merciless.
Clearly Goldilocks is Rapunzel's mother as a child. She picks flowers from someone else's garden without even asking, eats food that doesn't belong to her, and generally has no respect for anyone's property but her own.
the bevanfield cinmatic universe
Funny indeed. Wonder how she got married then between this story and Rapunzel then? If that were the case you pointed out.
@@DylanR99 she met someone as boring as she was
🤯😂😂
12:27 - 12:49
I swear Goldilocks is an introverts nightmare: You leave the house for once and when you come back, someone's broke in, destroyed your stuff, ate your food, and is sleeping in your bed
I want a version of Goldilocks where Goldilocks is a starving feral girl who thinks the house has been newly abandoned and doesn't mean to wreck the bears' stuff. When the bears come home they take her in as a second cub and it becomes Princess Mononoke with Goldilocks helping them kill the local village of salad-thieves.
Well you kind of gotten Goldilocks being raised by the bears with Puss in Booths: The Last Wish. She’s not exactly feral, but close enough.
Watch Puss in Boots: Last Wish.
This man went on to write the concept for Goldilocks in Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
I'd watch it.
Old Man: "This porridge is too hot. This porridge is too cold. This porridge is too wet. They're all completely useless now."
"And this porridge is just a plate of spaghetti! What the hell?"
HHHHUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
@Harsh Sidhu Harsh Sidhu Spaghetti interrupting bear!
Old Man: "Ooooh look! 3 bowls of porridge, and no one in sight! Guess I was invited! _Hreeeeeeeeee!_"
HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Bevanfield:
This animation style is too hard for us!
These voice actors are too expensive!
But this complete lack of effort is juuust right!
Is Christopher Lee in this one as well?
Remember that one guy-
*Sees animation and eyes begin to bleed*
Aaaahhhhhgggggg!!!
I believe if Bevanfield would put more efforts into their films, their films would be more appealing
Dang that's a long name.
Goldilocks and the three lazy bears
“They were just three bachelor bears living it up in the woods.”
So this was the inspiration for We Bare Bears.
I mean, Chloe's debut episode did a homage to this story
@Isabella Cataldo God, I love that wholesome af show. 🐻
Ice Bear's a stoner, big stoner.
Panda's a weeb, big weeb.
@@flightlesschicken7769 Grizz's a bro, big bro.
I guess we know now why the Rapunzel witch has built a wall around her garden... To keep rampaging thief Goldielocks away.
And then she turned into a Heartless.
Didn't stop Rapunzel's dickhead dad tho.
I guess we know now why Leatherface kills anybody entering his home
@@MoonLoonie69 though*
@@smb-c3po I said "tho" on purpose. XP
Head canon: Goldilocks grows up to be the evil witch. Her clumsiness was shown at the end of Repunzel when she accidentally got herself stuck in the tower.
Yeah
Well, that makes her a massive hypocrite for barging into people's gardens then demanding someone's firstborn for doing the same thing
@@Tareltonlives Cycles of abuse, my friend. A sad reality of the human experience.
Tareltonlives
Well when she did it she had to run for her life
Plus the human race pretty much exists solely for the purpose of being hypocrites these days
So Goldilocks was a thief making sense she lives near the Boring’s because she is a criminal and so she would live in thieves town and she was kicked out of her house by her mother for being miserable and had been kicked out of the house for being careless growing up. She still has not learned from her careless mistake and lived life carelessly until she trapped herself in the tower. She clearly has changed in the sense she doesn’t steal anymore but blindly has a go at the Boring’s for stealing unless of she still does steal but she is always angry when someone else steals which makes her a hypocrite but she doesn’t learn to take care between herself and others.
Phelous' research segments are the best parts of these videos because I actually learn something as opposed to just laughing at nonsense.
Same here. I always knew there was something off about Goldilocks story in terms of having a point, so it's nice to get confirmation that they mucked up the story so much from generation to generation.
@@rhett8-u1n technically every fairy tale seen in movies have twisted the fairytales original story and we're left with a different moral
@TheKpa11 -- Yup. I have heard that the original, rapey version of Sleeping Beauty had the moral go something like "good things come to good girls who are patient" or something like that. And then there was the original version of Red Riding Hood, whose entire purpose was for French people to make an oral sex joke that would go over the kids' heads.
@@AnInsideJoke it is fascinating that it's censorship for the better.
Insert Obscurus Lupa's stoned laughter. Phelan's on pot, man.
Clearly Goldilocks taught us the real moral of the story, which is the value of a good home security system and to lock all your doors and windows.
Do you know I thought the exact same thing but I suppose (and this is just me) the bears thought nobody could break in due to it being in the middle of nowhere and nobody would dare breaking into a house inhabited by bears.
I have a theory, what if Goldilocks was the witch as a child, and the bears punished her by forcing her to live next to Mr. and Mrs. Boring and keep the garden in good shape and give them the crops for free for all eternity.
It's the beavenfield cinematic universe!
How did her hair change from yellow to black?
@@golbibulbus5183 Prob from the labor she was forced to do and she had no time to wash her dirty hair.
Which is why she tried to compensate with beauty treatment later in her life.
Looks like Goldilocks was expected!
At least Old Man didn't wreck up Beast's castle for no damn good reason.
Or Old Wo-Man
Didn't he clog Beast's toilet or something?
Heeeeeeee!
Maybe Goldilocks is one of his daughters ? Who said Beauty's siblings couldn't have adventures of their own after she went to the Beast's castle ?
And also Beauty was an actual princess in the original story who fell in love with her cousin after she was captured by him.
That information about the original story was really interesting, it's not often you hear a myth or story about animals being antagonized by humans and the human is actually considered the bad guy. Usually the humans horrible actions are framed as heroic in some way and you just feel really bad for what happened to the animals.
@Dusk Raccoon Yea humans got instincts and work the same way as the animals do in many ways but most people want to believe that we humans are above all of that stuff and dont have any instincts only because we are more intelligent than other animals.
This is why I love the Family guy joke about little red riding hood, where Stevie (as red) points out that the huntsman behavior of violently bisecting the wolf could mean he's just a psychopath, not a "hero".
Or at the very least, it's just a misunderstanding.
"This is back when we thought it was ok for bears to smoke" I guess they legalized Bear-ajuana. . . . no i'm not sorry.
It's okay. That was a good pun.
No it wasn't.
@@fightingmedialounge519 Yes it was.
@@themanintheberet8793
You say it was a good pun, I say it BEARly even qualifies as a pun at all.
I can't BEAR this kind of jokes 🤣🤣🤣
So, to recap: The Bears are now paranoid and have hidden all their precious belongings into boxes and removed them from sight. Goldilocks has nowhere to go because her mother has disowned her, and has received no retaliation by the Bears, nor does she have any intention of fixing what she's broken.
You know what? I think I have a solution/idea for a sequel, since this story isn't finished.
*Goldilocks 2: A PARTY AT WABUU'S*
Goldilocks ran further into the woods only to encounter Wabuu, together the two of them stole and vandalized more than either one ever had before and killed all who got in their way.
Only Siro and Old man can stop them now. Raiden could too, but he doesn't care.
DIS IS NOT OVA! BEARS!
HELL YEAH! Wabuu and Old Man were missing in this review.
So it's actually a tale of "Why we can't have nice things".
She destroyed an bear chair and damaged the roof just by running?!?
How much does she weight?
New Count Cannoli that's what happens when you eat cement.
She weighs 1234224566211478909654137890865422157890753213790752125789095311244579034666444444444444433678842257886432lb.
Her mother just couldn't afford to feed her with her uncontrollable appetite! 🍚🍲🍛🍜🍝🍠🥗🥞🍗🍳🍨🍯🍮🥛🧀
She weighs 555664445222222222221222334444335577666555677888991122333221445566678776688887777889998866677664444567665775685838373657344444½
@@jessicamccollough965 Umm, I believe the correct weight is 134551246 up 09855875326890965e24589 it eww 135 OP 832147iretu HD wrt uh sar ewe y8jfe3 toit DJ rw es jyr2378i gdx sw45ut54689yd
That stupid baby bear laughing at the home invasion made my day
Tobe Fair, he is rather funny overall.
I know my Gummi Bear lore. Gummi Berry juice gives humans temporary superhuman strength instead of the ability to bounce.
@Joseph Wilson You're welcome. :)
Sheesh, I dunno what's worse: Papa Bear taking his slow time with the garden, Mama Bear's taste in decor, Baby Bear's 'fusspot' tendencies (bordering on freaking sociopathy), or the living whirlwind of destruction and invasion of privacy that is Goldilocks.
Also, nice Gummi Bears reference. =P
You named your kid Baby Bear Bear. You were asking for no one to be his friend.
wow in the versions Im familiar with she just eats and goes to sleep. I've never seen one where she destroys their house. I kinda feel like that's worse then just eating a bowl of food and passing out.
Wasn't there one where she was eaten by the bears?
This version seems to be a really stupid Kryptonian, just randomly smashing things with her super strength and never realizing she can fly.
Well, she kinda flies a bit when she first wakes up. Or, at least, that's what the shitty animation makes it look like.
@@AnInsideJoke Maybe that's how she smashed the roof.
Clearly this version is inferior to the version with Italian Papa Bear saying"SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHETT"
As well as the Chuck Jones Three Bears cartoons.
But honestly that was much better.
Word
The three bears' walk cycle is the best animation I've seen from Bevanfield. Man, is that sad...
It's warm enough for tomatoes and watermelons to grow, yet cold enough for coats and hats. That's one chilly summer!
So...
I guess the themes of this DVD are protagonists that are horrible people and victims that are portrait as villains?
New Count Cannoli yeah that’s the long and short of it
Yyyyep. Feel free to destroy people's property, kids!
Insert "Somebody toucha my spaghet!" meme here.
Good call. Why aren't I watching the Chuck Jones Three Bears cartoons right now?
That meme is as outdated as ugugadian knuckles
@@TommyDeonauthsArchives or even the Looney Tunes Three Bears series.
Even if that meme is an oldie, I'd happily watch Chuck Jones' Papa Bear rip this movie to shreds like he did to Goldilocks in that version.
"You make-a shitty animation, you waste-a the disc space!"
@@wstine79 That's what I was referring to.
If it was so cold outside that the bears needed warm clothes, why was father bear working on his garden? Wouldn't that be kind of (pardon the pun) fruitless?
Why would they even need to wear warm clothes anyway they’re you know Bears covered in thick fur. Seems like covering themselves will just make them all die of heat stroke.
@@brandonlyon730 If it really is winter, they should be hibernating.
And it should be snowing! 🌨️
the opening said "on a cold spring morning". In Bevanfieldland you harvest ripe vegetables in spring appearantly.
@@phreakazoith2237 Huh, don't know how I missed that. I still argue that the bears were a bit over dressed for a cold spring morning. Also, I'm no gardening expert, but I still think the father bear should've waited until it was warmer outside.
Wow, how did Beavanfeild manage to make the story even more meanspirited? You are truly doing the lord work by finding these, Phelous
Every time derpy Goldilocks falls or crushes something, she makes the ground shake. She is quite a bit heavier than the bears. Odd. Maybe she is related to the Juggernaut.
Derpylocks
She's the Juggernaut Bitch.
Nothing can stop The Goldilocks
I know everyone thinks Goldilocks grows up to be the Witch, but I think she grew up to be Rapunzel's mother. If she got away with garden theft in her youth, small wonder she tries it again as an adult
What is up with Bevanfield's obsession with extreme gardening?
I hate how they keep throwing around those adjectives. Just like Rapunzel's mom couldn't stop talking about "fresh, green, crispy, crunchy salad", this bear won't shut up about "lovely, hot, thick, bubbling porridge".
Right? I noticed that too. Reminds me of the Sara Lee banana cake commercial...
Gotta increase the dialogue to pad out the runtime...
Goldilocks and The Countryside Bears, the most ambitious crossover ever.
Needs more Wabuu.
Grumpy Bear does something useful for once and eats Goldilocks.
A house with free porridge and bears to hunt. Sounds like Wabuu and Old Man have found their new favorite place.
Wabuu doesn't hunt bears, he's related to them
"LOOKS LIKE I'VE BEEN EXPECTED!" "Time to take advantage of more STUPID bears! Heheheh!"
@@limalepakko6074 actually, part of the extended version of the wabuu song implies he like fried, crispy bears.
"There's really only one good way to end this tale,,,"
*Insert clip of girl getting thrown out the window from the Amityville 4 review*
*insert clip of Spike being defenestrated from Cowboy Bebop*
(insert palpatine going down the reactor shaft)
Papa Bear: Someone's been writing a crappy version of our story!
Mama Bear: Someone's been writing a crappy version of our story!? What the hell!!!!!?
Baby Bear: Here they are! It's that danm Bevenfield and they're sleeping in my danm bed!!!!!
Mama Bear: Looks like we're having Bevenfield writers for supper tonight boys!!!
Baby Bear: And that inconsiderate brat Goldilocks will be our dessert!
🐻🐻🐻🔪🍽️🔪👱🏻♀️
Roald Dahl actually wrote a version of the story where the bears eat her at the end. It's in a collection he wrote called Revolting Rhymes, and it's hilarious.
Bland Vizer: Well... we are boned...
Mister Rodant: Suddenly I preferred having my neck broken by Old Man...
Happily ever after had a superior Goldilocks! She at least learned to be responsible for her actions!
@@petehill7280 OH I think I know that one 😂
@@vivimariefedorov7374 Wow, I remember that show from growing up with HBO Kids, along with Crashbox. It was fun and charming.
Man, the Berenstain Bears show was a lot lazier than I remembered.
Oh wait...
Now I want to watch both versions of the Berenstain Bears TV show adaptations... I never saw the Hanna Barbera one as I was born in 1994.
The show wasn't the same since Sister Bear left.
@AT Productions Mandela effect
AT Productions they're not Jews they're bears
If Dingo and Bevanfield ever released a “Marvel vs DC” type movie, it would be Wabbu murdering all the Bevanfield characters with an ax while they sat around discussing where said ax came from and the rest of the Dingo characters just laugh uncontrollably at Bevanfield for existing.
I mean I don't know a lot about St Peter's Cathedral but uh...is it near a really tall bear castle or did the old lady get crazy hangtime?
I assume it was like Problem Sleuth where some Teleportation shenanigans happened to yeet one version of mobster kingpin onto the ham needle.
I can't wait for you to try and sit through Goldie, Dingos Bambi, which has one British woman as the voice actor on EVERY character
If anything (and from what I've seen of it), this movie has not-Bambi playing with Wuschel... Guess we all know who kills the mom in this one. 😆
Well he already had the experience with Nice cats.
That "he doesn't need friends he has me" sounded awfully familiar. I think this was one of the many fairy tale videos that they would play on rainy and snowy days when I was in kindergarten.
17:51 Oh My Gosh! This WAS one of the tapes they would play. I remember that line very clearly.
(Don't worry guys they also showed us quality children's entertainment like reading rainbow.)
Phelous you reminded me of a part of childhood I had forgotten about.
At least Bear family is more interesting than the Borings from Rapunzel.
Is it? IS IT??
@@limalepakko6074 just a tad bit... it's still Bevanfield.
Is it wrong of me to say that... I kinda like the bears designs in this film? I know the film is pretty bad from a writing standpoint and Goldilocks is just an awful character, but I do find the 3 bears to be... um... passable in terms of character design. Heck, the baby bear does like sorta cute...
Oh who am I kidding... it's Bevanfield. Of course it's wrong.
@@TommyDeonauthsArchives I personally think they look rather horrendous. Maybe it's a childhood trauma
@@limalepakko6074 You do you... I guess.
Acktually- Goldilocks and the Three Bears, alongside many children stories, is so repetitious because it helps young children retain knowledge. Adults have that already with years of experiences of doing something, like reading, or walking. Children who are just learning that, need the constant repetition to make better connections in their brain.
I mean yeah, that's true. I remember being very small and enjoying that kind of repetition from Teletubbies, but I'm glad my mother kept me away from Bevenfeild and got me into Beatrix Potter instead.
I’ve read a version where baby bear and Goldilocks were friends and they had invited her over and at the end of the story she had to stay there to clean up the mess
plot twist: goldilocks is the borings' second kid who wasn't taken by a witch
Of COURSE the Gummy Berry juice didn't make you bounce. By why did you waste the super strength it gave you by not smashing or lifting anything?
Too bad Goldilocks didn't pick some roses.
She could've had a visit from a certain beast... :v
No Beast would be able to tolerate her for more than 5 seconds; soon they'd all be locking up their castles out of paranoia, too.
Yay more Bevanfield, I needed something to cure my Insomnia. Can you fill it with inane conversations? Those are the best.
I don't get why Bevanfield has such a bad reputation. Can you think of any better cure for insomnia?
Katamari or the English film robot overlords
Because of the low effort their animation has.
The DCU (Dingo Cinematic Universe) is much better than the Bevanfield CU...all you BCU fanboys can come for me...I don’t care
Nah man, I agree. If Dingo is the very bottom of the barrel, then Bevanfield is a moldy puddle of especially horrid, caustic diarrhea underneath the barrel. They make Dingo look good by comparison.
At least Dingo would have had the balls to frame Goldilocks as the villain she is, and kill her off in the end.
germans don't play around with their fairytales. Kids get burned, their thumbs hacked off and then milled into chicken feed if they are being brats. @@theuncalledfor
I just love this comment lol
@@theuncalledfor Nah Dingo is still the worst.
You mean the BCEU
If I was cleverer I'd have two other youtubers who'd review this and then I could say
This review is too Long
This review is too short
This review is just right
I always thought the chair, porridge, and bed stuff were just how each liked them. The dad bear for example loved hot porridge while the mother likes it cold.
Goldilocks is the reason Thanos started looking for the stones in the first place 😎
Have you considered visiting any of these studios in person? Like when you explore those haunted abandoned asylums?
I feel it would be similar experience for you and the audience.
Most are probably title loan stores or shady pawn shops now. >__>
They would be haunted by the animators who took their lives after creating such abominations.
Well phelous lives in Canada,so probably not.
@@fightingmedialounge519 wait he’s in Canada?
@@gracekim1998 yep.
If I recall correctly, there's a Peanuts strip where Linus brings up the exact issue that you have with the cooling rate of the three bowls.
A much better version of Goldilocks is the version in the TV series "Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child". Goldilocks is established as a delinquent who prides herself on being able to get away with anything (usually by pinning the crime on others), and the bears actually berate her when they catch her in their house. This, combined with her behavior leaving her with no friends, motivates her to shape up.
These days the three bro-bears would be smoking pot instead of tobacco.
This sativa is too weird.
This indica is too locked.
But this hybrid is juuuuuuust right ;)
I feel like Goldilocks just has demi-god level Herculean strength and breaks things that are anywhere near her because of it.
Sure, she may have Herculean strength, but she's not very amicable.
I never thought I would hear about a cartoon where I hated every character until now. Grumpy bear is more endearing then all 3 bears and that's rather sad.
Your movie collection must look so interesting to strangers. Horror films and low-quality direct-to-video cartoons lol
I like how Phelous stopped reviewing as many terrible horror movies exactly when Hollywood decided to stop making as many.
Cause we all know, bad animated films from Dingo Pictures and Bevanfield are true horror!
Yeah, though I do kinda miss his horror reviews. ^^
@@cartooncritique6625 guys I really shouldn't need to repeat this so much, he still does that on OCCASSION. just check his uploads
@@gracekim1998 Yeah, I've noticed. This comment is about 3 years old.
No one ever said he stopped completely gracekim.
"Shouldn't the smallest one be cold and the middle one be just right?"
That would make sense. That's why the laws of thermodynamics probably suggest otherwise.
Bevanfield: Where the excitement never starts.
or where it stops.
I much prefer The Simpsons version where Goldilocks got mauled to death by the bears because the front door was locked and she couldn't escape.
Thank you Treehouse of Horror clips.
@brandon roberts Yes, Halloween specials are the only reason why the Simpsons need to stay, never mind how awful the show has become.
Phelous's Happiness interrupting bears! :D
For some reason I suddenly remembered ”We got completely baked at the garden!” and started chuckling to myself
13:47 What did she do? Dip her hands in ink and then walk upstairs slapping the wall?
By now almost every character in a Bevanfield cartoon is a terrible person.
Vandalism Goldilocks, The Borings, Incest Supporting Father and the Evil/Good Fortune Teller to name a few.
Don't forget the three bears becoming paranoid bland bigots because of Goldilocks.
My favourite Bad Characters are Baby Bear laughing at his parents' house being partially destroyed, and Madame Dimsung who can go from crying over her son dying to yelling at her son after finding out he's still alive in -1.571 seconds.
@@Neku628 Can you blame them when some random girl waltzed in, stole their porridge, damaged their property, and vandalized their house?
@@Nintendotron64 no
Remember back when Bevanfield scored voice actors like Derek Jacobi and Christopher Lee?
Hell, remember back when Bevanfield *had more than one voice actor?*
the rhytm and repetition of tales like this is calming and soothing for children... i adore your history lessons btw, i never knew the nasty old ladies versions
True, but it's still painful for adults, also hilarious.
12:22 Old Man: "Well, it seems as if you were expected! Eat up!"
I’m just upset that you completely missed your chance to make an old man “it seems I was expected” joke.
15:56
“SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!!!”
Scene interrupting bears to the max.
The absolute disgust in your voice when you say "Bevanfield" is always a joy
16:32 I love how the expression that Baby Bear has pretty much shows how surprised he is that Scene Interrupting Bear broke into his house, and for such a brief time.
Hello, Phelous! I love you reviews)
Your English is great, i mean your tone, i perfectly understand you without any subtitles. My laugh was heard everywhere. Thank! Your fan from Russia)))
I love that you can count the frames per scene in this. Only the highest quality animation for this cartoon.
You are an excellent reviewer, Phelous. Your voices are on point, and your comedy style always surprise me. I'm looking forward to my 30th birthday on April 19. Keep on reviewing, Phelous. I'm sure your review on the GoodTimes/Golden Films adaptation of Thumbelina will be good.
I feel compelled to tell you that our birthdays are exactly one month apart!
Holy moly, I've heard SO many requests for GoodTimes' Thumbelina.
Now my head is spinning as to what the h*ck it could REALLY be like...
I'm lucky (or unlucky?) that my parents actually quality-controlled what I watched and I was never exposed to GoodTimes, but all these comments are tempting me down a dark path.
YEAH PHELOUS IS HILARIOUS
I just googled it, and "fuss pot" means stickler
Lost my voice today, so thank you for making me feel a bit better via your own suffering!
KillerCaitie Get well soon
Oh darling, Prince Eric is not worth it!!!
I’d hate to imagine how much better or worse Dingo Pictures’s take on Goldilocks would be compared to this
I feel like all three bears would have the same "SCENE INTERRUPTING BEAR" designs, and Goldilocks would look like a young Esmeralda/Pocahontas.
I know Goldilocks true lineage!
Think about it, she breaks into someone's home, steals their food, sleeps in their bed, picks their flowers, and runs off not taking any responsibility for her actions. Remind you of anyone?
....
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
(I'm convinced one of old man's sons found a woman to tolerate him, had a child, and now Goldilocks carries on her grandfather's lineage)
the handprints improved that wallpaper, it was pretty vile.
This porridge was perfectly prepared......for you.
Sure I enter random people’s houses when no one answers all the time
Another trip into Bevanfield so soon?
MAH GOD!
SumFanTroll11 id rather watch a Dingo Pictures movie right about now
You know... after seeing Bevanfield's version of Baloo from the Jungle Book, I can at least give it to them that they eventually learned to draw some semi-decent looking bears.
Not much, but it's something.
I was INDEED thinking this one Goldylocks needed "that ending".
I'm assuming the one where she just teleports onto the st. paul's cathedral needle because my guttered mind is drifting to....another... possibility....
One of the funniest things I have ever seen/heard in my life: Oh, do we get to see said boots coming off? OH WE DO! YAY! *fireworks*
The animation repeating was brutal in this one, they didn't even try to be subtle.
The more I listen to the "He's a bit too tidy. He's a fusspot. He has no friends" segments - the more I think they could've actually been hinting towards Aspergers(since those traits are usually 'signs' which push teachers and parents to seek a diagnosis in a small child - even if it turns out their instincts were wrong in the end). That, to me, would make the most sense...if you know, it wasn't supposed to be a Goldilocks Story. I don't know *why* they included this suspicion to vaguely hint towards - but they sure did.
So Goldilocks and Rapunzel are from Thieves-town, so that means Rapunzel is now the Queen of Thieves after marrying the Prince! Also that would be great for a low budget game version of Skyrim's Riften, after all, criminal activities are common.
Wow I had no idea about the true secret origins of the Three bears! Very wild! Great job on this review!
*somebody toucha my spaghet* 🍝🍝🍝
I really enjoy you looking at the source material for these, it adds a lot to the fun.
15:44 is baby bear a Dingo character ?
14:27 She's also fully aware of the fact that she's just broken into someone's home, ruined a bunch of stuff, and is now actively plotting her get-away; meaning she knows full well what she's done is fucked up. This Makes Her Look Like Even MORE Of A Criminal!!
Is there a version of this story where The Three Bears just straight-up eat her?! -__-
14:49 You realize that anybody born after the late 1990s probably isn't going to get that reference, right? XD
Great job as always!! And wow, I'm shocked at how moralless this tale is, when I was growing up I never really thought much about the story, nor was I aware of its original origins.. (Love when you explain those, btw) ..But looking at it now it's all pretty obvious. Also, I think Goldilocks and Caillou are cut from the same cursed cloth. Together they would make a deadly combination, their wrath would be swift and merciless.