I think that, when we tell someone we’re happy for them, but don’t actually feel the emotion, it’s usually rooted in comparison. For example, we may see they’ve hit a milestone in their life and of course we’re not unhappy for them, but because we see something in them that maybe we have yet to achieve in or for ourselves, it becomes difficult to display the actual emotion. In such a case, I don’t think it’s quite jealousy or envy as much as it is a feeling of untapped potential in ourselves that we see in them.
I loved how you described your feelings about it. Somehow, it helped me understand myself better and feel better!🙏 Yes, I also see myself and my journey in the same way when I’m happy for others, but at the same time, I end up judging myself.
@@_this_is__hazel Totally, I think feeling guilty is normal because we naturally assume that because we are not happy emotionally, surely it must be rooted in a negative emotion like envy/jealousy. Also, there will be times that our emotional response will be dependent on the state we are in when our friends deliver good news about themselves. Maybe we were having a bad day or week, and because we’re in an emotionally ‘negative’ state, it becomes more difficult to display positive emotions. And the times we do feel genuinely happy for them, like what you had mentioned, we were likely experiencing a positive emotional state throughout the day or week which lends to us feeling genuinely joyful. Just some thoughts I guess lol.
Comparisons are the thief of joy, so it makes sense that when you dont feel the need to compare their joy with your own, it's much easier to be genuinely happier for them. Your vid made me realized that ive impulsively compared myself to some of my friends and therefore failed to empathize with their joy 🙏 I know what i want to work on next, thank you!
It got easier for me with age. Being older, I’ve had a lot of the experiences other people are having for the first time. So seeing good things happen for them doesn’t make me feel envious so much as it reminds me of when I experienced something similar. Sometimes I’m even grateful that I was sort of able to vicariously experience that thing again with them. I’m not sure I directly mirrored anyone’s happiness like you’ve described, but there is empathy I think
wow, thank you for your comment. That’s a perspective I hadn’t thought of before! experiencing something again through others who are going through what you’ve already been through!! I love that.
I resonate with you. Not to sound cliché. In actually reality, I've questioned myself several times if I've felt genuinely happy for others. It's difficult unless you really care about that person or even admire that person I guess. Sometimes it also, turns toward me and I ask if others genuinely feel happy for me too. It is a rare emotion to come by for me.
Thank you for your comment. I really agree with what you said! Cuz I want to have people around I can truly be happy for, and also be the kind of person others feel happy for.
I also had similar experience with my friends recently. And I also had the new feeling of happy for someone else(genuinely) without jealousy :> something happened to my friend and that news literally made my day, made me smile. And realizing itself was also deep and raw self-love moment I guess. I'm so happy rn as watching you smiling and sharing your fulfilling moment. Miss you xxx 💌
Self-love-so true. I’ve also noticed my feelings about my friends’ achievements fluctuating, and I realized it depends on how comfortable I feel with myself. I’m so glad to see your comments. thank you loveeeeeeeee!
Kind of like a similar comment here, I think not feeling super joyful about other peoples achievements can be rooted in our competitive culture. Instead of celebrating others wins, we find ourselves lacking and we wonder "why am I not achieving success like them?". I also think there's an emotional aspect of it, like feeling a sense of disconnect, either from our friends or from our emotions. I think with me, sometimes my mind isn't fully here so it never fully clicks for me. Also, sometimes we are just so busy with our lives that we just don't have the brain/emotional capacity to fully feel happy Anyways, I love your content and I'm looking forward to your next video! I love hearing your thoughts + experiences on things like these
Yes, 100%. So true. Sometimes it feels like I’m racing so hard, and it’s so easy to compare myself to others. But I try my best to remember that we’re all heading toward different destinations. + thank you🤍 I love seeing your sweet comments thanks for sharing
헤이즐에게 사과하지 마세요! 동영상이 편안합니다 Do you write in your diary daily? Or whenever the feelings come to you? I also have a director character that makes me seem emotionless, but it's actually the opposite. Someone told me that emotions are like the ocean - some days we'll feel the intensity and other days barely anything. Hmm... I think that the English progress between you and your friends also includes a lot of empathy. Even with the language progress, it makes you want to share and feel those feelings more (I might just be rambling here) P.S. 지난주에 기차에서 당신을 본 것 같아요! 하지만 방해하고 싶지 않았어요
고마워요! I write in my diary pretty often, but not every day-mostly when I’m feeling down, haha. Poor diary... That’s so fun to hear you also have a 'director' in your head! I resonate with your perspective too. Omg, you saw me? That’s crazy!!! You can say hi next time!
@_this_is__hazel Hmm... what if you wrote more happy moments in your diary every now and then? I think diaries are like stuffed animals in that they're pretty good at dealing with our sad feelings! My director probably looks like a toy robot 😂 I will!!! Hopefully I see you again next time!! I just didn't want to scare you or be rude about it!
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I think that, when we tell someone we’re happy for them, but don’t actually feel the emotion, it’s usually rooted in comparison. For example, we may see they’ve hit a milestone in their life and of course we’re not unhappy for them, but because we see something in them that maybe we have yet to achieve in or for ourselves, it becomes difficult to display the actual emotion. In such a case, I don’t think it’s quite jealousy or envy as much as it is a feeling of untapped potential in ourselves that we see in them.
I loved how you described your feelings about it. Somehow, it helped me understand myself better and feel better!🙏
Yes, I also see myself and my journey in the same way when I’m happy for others, but at the same time, I end up judging myself.
@@_this_is__hazel Totally, I think feeling guilty is normal because we naturally assume that because we are not happy emotionally, surely it must be rooted in a negative emotion like envy/jealousy. Also, there will be times that our emotional response will be dependent on the state we are in when our friends deliver good news about themselves. Maybe we were having a bad day or week, and because we’re in an emotionally ‘negative’ state, it becomes more difficult to display positive emotions. And the times we do feel genuinely happy for them, like what you had mentioned, we were likely experiencing a positive emotional state throughout the day or week which lends to us feeling genuinely joyful. Just some thoughts I guess lol.
Comparisons are the thief of joy, so it makes sense that when you dont feel the need to compare their joy with your own, it's much easier to be genuinely happier for them.
Your vid made me realized that ive impulsively compared myself to some of my friends and therefore failed to empathize with their joy 🙏 I know what i want to work on next, thank you!
Thank you for your comment. 🤍
You’re so right-I should allow myself to feel what I feel!
I’m glad my video resonated with you.
It got easier for me with age. Being older, I’ve had a lot of the experiences other people are having for the first time. So seeing good things happen for them doesn’t make me feel envious so much as it reminds me of when I experienced something similar. Sometimes I’m even grateful that I was sort of able to vicariously experience that thing again with them. I’m not sure I directly mirrored anyone’s happiness like you’ve described, but there is empathy I think
wow, thank you for your comment. That’s a perspective I hadn’t thought of before! experiencing something again through others who are going through what you’ve already been through!! I love that.
I resonate with you. Not to sound cliché. In actually reality, I've questioned myself several times if I've felt genuinely happy for others. It's difficult unless you really care about that person or even admire that person I guess. Sometimes it also, turns toward me and I ask if others genuinely feel happy for me too. It is a rare emotion to come by for me.
Thank you for your comment. I really agree with what you said!
Cuz I want to have people around I can truly be happy for, and also be the kind of person others feel happy for.
I also had similar experience with my friends recently. And I also had the new feeling of happy for someone else(genuinely) without jealousy :> something happened to my friend and that news literally made my day, made me smile. And realizing itself was also deep and raw self-love moment I guess.
I'm so happy rn as watching you smiling and sharing your fulfilling moment.
Miss you xxx 💌
Self-love-so true. I’ve also noticed my feelings about my friends’ achievements fluctuating, and I realized it depends on how comfortable I feel with myself.
I’m so glad to see your comments. thank you loveeeeeeeee!
Kind of like a similar comment here, I think not feeling super joyful about other peoples achievements can be rooted in our competitive culture. Instead of celebrating others wins, we find ourselves lacking and we wonder "why am I not achieving success like them?".
I also think there's an emotional aspect of it, like feeling a sense of disconnect, either from our friends or from our emotions. I think with me, sometimes my mind isn't fully here so it never fully clicks for me. Also, sometimes we are just so busy with our lives that we just don't have the brain/emotional capacity to fully feel happy
Anyways, I love your content and I'm looking forward to your next video! I love hearing your thoughts + experiences on things like these
Yes, 100%. So true. Sometimes it feels like I’m racing so hard, and it’s so easy to compare myself to others. But I try my best to remember that we’re all heading toward different destinations.
+ thank you🤍 I love seeing your sweet comments thanks for sharing
찰나의 순간이지만 그런 감정을 느꼈다는건 정말 좋은 사람들을 만났다는거니까! 언니가 소중한 사람들이랑 같이 있어서 좋다 🫶🏻 오늘두 행복한 하루 보내용
맞아 좋은 사람들 덕분에 느낀 거니까! 고마워 좋은 하루 보내🤍
It’s relaxing watching you live your life and talk - nice head stand 😉
Thank you💙 - I'm trying
헤이즐에게 사과하지 마세요! 동영상이 편안합니다
Do you write in your diary daily? Or whenever the feelings come to you?
I also have a director character that makes me seem emotionless, but it's actually the opposite. Someone told me that emotions are like the ocean - some days we'll feel the intensity and other days barely anything.
Hmm... I think that the English progress between you and your friends also includes a lot of empathy. Even with the language progress, it makes you want to share and feel those feelings more (I might just be rambling here)
P.S. 지난주에 기차에서 당신을 본 것 같아요! 하지만 방해하고 싶지 않았어요
고마워요!
I write in my diary pretty often, but not every day-mostly when I’m feeling down, haha. Poor diary...
That’s so fun to hear you also have a 'director' in your head! I resonate with your perspective too.
Omg, you saw me? That’s crazy!!! You can say hi next time!
@_this_is__hazel Hmm... what if you wrote more happy moments in your diary every now and then?
I think diaries are like stuffed animals in that they're pretty good at dealing with our sad feelings!
My director probably looks like a toy robot 😂
I will!!! Hopefully I see you again next time!! I just didn't want to scare you or be rude about it!