I think being a therapist locks you in a perspective of dealing with people that are in a relationship already. I can't disagree with what you've said, but at the same time it feels a bit one dimensional. While emotional health is the most important in the long run, it's not something you can present in a brief time, let alone in those first seconds when one meet someone and his/her instincts decide whether he/she's attracted or not. Looks/Money/Status is an important factor when it comes to attraction. Not enough on their own to form a long lasting relationship. But if one does not have them at acceptable level, in some case he'll be simply filtered out. People have various (negotiatable) expectations about their partner (that they acquire through their instincts/upbringing/social norms, etc.). And for instance if someone is ugly (let's say 3/10) with a solid emotional health level (8/10), he can easily end up in a situation, when the other person will decide "this is nice, but I can do better"... and that "better" can for instance be a 6/10, 6/10, depending on the needs of that person. Also simplyfing it to "some wome all care about is a bentley" case as a way to downplay it is not genuine. People are not that simple in their behavior.
Good points, couple caveats that leap out to me. 1. Something like 80% of human communication is through body language. It's very possible that your mannerisms can displays your level of maturity and mental health quickly. 2. People tend to marry those who are equal to them in attractiveness. So maybe while dating it is a problem, but ultimately you will be okay as long as your goal is a long term relationship. Additionally, if you shoot for people in your league, you should do well in the short term as well. And if you don't, then you're as much part of the problem as the girl would be. - I know women rate most men as below average, but the power of this stat is that it's not about the ratings, it's about who they actually choose.
You know I agree. I'm not saying looks/money/status are not important factors. All I'm saying is that it should not be the priority and someone who is able to have a healthy relationship should be the the priority. I do think that there are some women who look for status and money because it indicates to them that the person has ambition and competence...good traits in a person. However there are those who simply want the bentley because they are materialistic. I don't think that is a stretch. You are absolutely right it takes some time and data gathering to determine whether someone is emotionally healthy. Thanks for watching and for a thoughtful comment. Blessings.
This was a great observation on the subject topic
Thank you so much Grief!
I think being a therapist locks you in a perspective of dealing with people that are in a relationship already. I can't disagree with what you've said, but at the same time it feels a bit one dimensional. While emotional health is the most important in the long run, it's not something you can present in a brief time, let alone in those first seconds when one meet someone and his/her instincts decide whether he/she's attracted or not.
Looks/Money/Status is an important factor when it comes to attraction. Not enough on their own to form a long lasting relationship. But if one does not have them at acceptable level, in some case he'll be simply filtered out. People have various (negotiatable) expectations about their partner (that they acquire through their instincts/upbringing/social norms, etc.). And for instance if someone is ugly (let's say 3/10) with a solid emotional health level (8/10), he can easily end up in a situation, when the other person will decide "this is nice, but I can do better"... and that "better" can for instance be a 6/10, 6/10, depending on the needs of that person. Also simplyfing it to "some wome all care about is a bentley" case as a way to downplay it is not genuine. People are not that simple in their behavior.
Good points, couple caveats that leap out to me.
1. Something like 80% of human communication is through body language. It's very possible that your mannerisms can displays your level of maturity and mental health quickly.
2. People tend to marry those who are equal to them in attractiveness. So maybe while dating it is a problem, but ultimately you will be okay as long as your goal is a long term relationship. Additionally, if you shoot for people in your league, you should do well in the short term as well. And if you don't, then you're as much part of the problem as the girl would be.
- I know women rate most men as below average, but the power of this stat is that it's not about the ratings, it's about who they actually choose.
You know I agree. I'm not saying looks/money/status are not important factors. All I'm saying is that it should not be the priority and someone who is able to have a healthy relationship should be the the priority. I do think that there are some women who look for status and money because it indicates to them that the person has ambition and competence...good traits in a person. However there are those who simply want the bentley because they are materialistic. I don't think that is a stretch. You are absolutely right it takes some time and data gathering to determine whether someone is emotionally healthy. Thanks for watching and for a thoughtful comment. Blessings.