Wow, this is great insight. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I hadn’t considered the medium affecting the message, but that makes a ton of sense too. Praying you continue to grow and share - your work and attitude is a continual blessing and inspiration for me and many others!
Andreas, as a pastor and former software developer/trainer I found that there is always the need for some kind of role adoption that needs to take place. Most people have a persona/role at work that tends to differ from the one at home or elsewhere. As a pastor in a church I have found out that I need no such distinction, because what I am at church is what I am at home with my family. I don't put too heavy a requirement on the things you do in order to be able to display the obvious genius that you possess. Don't judge yourself too harshly, I love what you do and you inspire, regardless of the role you assume in order to succeed. The fact that you are so honest and open about it is very refreshing.
Guilt is the worst bully because it not only tortures you, but also makes you forget some of the traits that people have once admired you for. You just have to keep reminding yourself that your old lifestyle is behind you and that what you have to offer to people is of far greater importance than the guilt you may feel about your old choices. For me personally, these are some of the things I admire about you: (BTW don't take any of these to mean that I think you are trying to give a certain impression, I'm just saying what I'm getting from watching your videos and your interactions with the community both here and on Github). Your "well hello guys, welcome to another video", always makes me smile and I immediately feel comfortable (serene?) watching your video. You put a certain emphasis on the "hello" which makes it all the more welcoming. Your ability to articulate yourself without stumbling on your words is impressive. Today was an exception, but understandly so because who can truly understand the matters of the heart? Not even man can do it. So it is hard to put into words, but you still did great.👍 I admire your dedication to this TH-cam channel, because it shows you are someone who can commit (no pun intended 😉) Your dedication to the gym reminds me that life isn't just about all work, and no play. Your ability to type very quickly is admirable. I always remind myself when I see it that to be an uber hackz0r like Andreas, I need to improve that typing speed. 👨💻 Your knowledge of low level systems and how to build one is something I want to eventually learn myself.
The different lie for a different person hits home, thankfully I've been clean this past 3 months and it feels great. Thanks for telling your story, I think a lot of addicts feel isolation and talking about it can help alleviate that.
i am just happy that all of this exists, if no youtube, no discord, no github would exist we wouldn't have any idea who Andreas is, so just keep on creating, eventually everyone gets their salvation.
Such an honest and touching response, you’re an inspiration Andreas! Also what you said about the medium affecting your behaviour was thought provoking. I’d say it’s “fully duplex” i.e. not only does it change how I’d behave based how what I say is received, but also as how I receive other people’s behaviour as well. To remain internally consistent but also true to the platform is as you said a balancing act, but I wonder if it could be formalized in some way. Well as Marshal McLuhan famously said “the medium is the message”. New here but excited to binge Serenity content
This channel always makes me happy. Please continue doing what you're doing! I don't pretend to know what you've been through in your past, but seriously the wisdom and experience you're able to share now is a blessing and I really appreciate it.
I didn't know about your struggles; I feel honored to get to know such a personal detail about your life. Makes me a bit more parasocially invested, even.
I think this is something that anyone online (social media etc) struggles with. We're all on platforms where every action and every comment you make will be scrutinized and catalogued, so people go to great lengths to make sure that they are almost always seen in a positive light. I think it's part of the reason so many people struggle feeling "authentic" now is because most of their interactions are happening online, and are therefore on a spectrum of disingenuousness. I applaud your efforts to try and be authentic to yourself -- it's not an easy task!
yeah, well that's the perk of having a small channel... he can say his honest thoughts and everyone enjoys the content.... But when people have millions of watches, there's guaranteed to be some whiny person who disagrees and...whines xD And then content makers get scared for the views and subs, and start developing second and third personas... And, obviously he has to adhere to the whiny dude, as he quit his job and is relying on patreon and ads to make a living...(why people don't install ad blockers, I'll never know :W )
It's a really interesting reflection on your background. I hope you continue well with this, and I think you have to do what you just said "be yourself". There'll be douchebags that'll say mean things to you, it doesn't matter what. But you can just disregard these comments. In any case, you're a really cool person, and you sharing your knowledge is something you have to be proud of! (besides the fact you created an entire OS!).
I've struggled with being a coomer for 3 years and I get the same fears when I try to make new friends. It's nice to see people who face their fears and embrace who they are. It sort of gives me a string of hope to hang on to.
It's amazing to hear you talk about all of the things that are certainly not easy for one to talk about. Believe it or not - you are truly an inspiration for many of us. Keep going, Andreas. You got it! 🐞
Andreas, all I can say is that I'm very encouraged by your work and commentary on Serenity OS. I've been having serious plans to develop my own OS and CPU architecture to go with it for years, on and off but motivation is hard to come by when by day I'm just doing Spring Boot till I'm sick of it. One of these days I will get something off the ground, and you bet that I'm giving you some credit. I think you are very brave to come forward and discuss your drug recovery. Please don't be afraid of speaking of things like that. I'm not sure what else to say, so I would like to end with an encouragement.
Well... this is a topic that's so close to my heart. It's nice hearing your insight on it. For me, it's been mostly about social awkwardness. I'm a really quiet person, and I like being quiet. But in social environments and when I get comfortable, it gets so difficult to think what I say. And from my perspective, I get really loud and say so much stupid things. I get these weird looks because what I just said doesn't really make sense, or I was in my own train of thought, and just blurted out whatever was in my mind at the moment. I feel like I'm putting up a mask for that group of people. And it feels like I don't really fit. Because I wouldn't like to be around someone behaving like I think I am. But I'm aware that most of that is my own complexes, and it's something that I really need to work on. And the confidence I get when talking to other people is definitely not something I want to lose. Thanks for putting up more than just the amazing project that Serenity is. This kind of self reflecting videos are really nice. (I'll look into the Discord server, btw)
This is the most touching and moving video I’ve seen of yours. Amazing story, extremely relatable. Wishing you the best, Andreas. Thanks for being a leader in your community. Great job man. I’m sure you leave a positive impact on more people than you can imagine. Legend.
Hey Andreas. Good point you brought up there. All media have different limitations and consequently people will get different impressions of you depending on the medium. You can't prevent that and you can't appear as a single persona if you use different communication media. The best you can do is to be considerate of the limitations of the media. One classic example is that sarcasm doesn't translate well in text, so it may be better to avoid it.
Being a person that have been told I should be able to manage my life on my own for so long that it is a integral part of my thoughts. Then being diagnosed very late with adhd turns alot of things upside down. I cannot manage parts of my life without help. The lies and shame I used to feel about things I tried to hide about my failing life still lingers. Now a days it's better. But thoughts still linger. Good video BTW 😅
Very interesting topic, thank you for sharing your experience! Growing up religious in a secular world, I struggled with this idea of multiple personas and how to join them with consistency. I ended up losing myself when I gave up, and I hurt people I cared about. The last few years have been a long process of facing fears, learning who I want to be and owning up to it. I think being true is a beautiful thing to aim at, while also acknowledging that we'll never be perfect at it haha. Cheers!
Hey Andreas - I'd be interested in hearing about your hair loss process. It's something I'm struggling to cope with as a younger (25 year old) guy and you seemed to ease into it very well. Looking great :^)
Hahah, finally someone asking the real questions instead of "do you have cancer"? ;) It can be depressing to see your hair disappear. I didn't like it either. But it was the same for my father, and his father, etc, so I knew it was coming. I used to take Finasteride years ago but gave up since I didn't like the side effects and I knew I was only delaying the inevitable anyway. I've shaved my head before, but I always let it grow back. However, the last time I went to my barber, he told me it was starting to disappear on the top now as well. That made me realize it was time to just own it. Best of luck with your own process :^)
Not quite the same thing, but I kind of struggle with this myself, the medium is "unknown people out there", be it IRC, IRL or whatever. Basically I got trust issues, it is not like I'm lying about myself, but at the same time I'm very selective with what I let people to know about me. I'd like to believe that my persona is still the same, albeit somewhat "filtered".
First of where did you get that hoodie? I want one! Two: The medium effecting how I present my self is definitely something iv though about too. It’s kinda neat to see what gets amplified and suppressed. But sometimes I too get worried about if that projection “is the real me”, the thing that helps me, is to think of it like this: no one truly can climb into my head and understand my every intention, even when taking face to face, so every interpretation any one has of me is a shadow of my inner world. The best approach I find is to just, well be your self and not to build a jenga tower of lies and identities. As for discord and the correct usage of it, honestly the style and etiquette varies a lot from ”servers”/groups, so It’s more up to you to figure out a style just keep it consistent and most will pickup it up as they join and your community grows on there.
The hoodie is from the SerenityOS store on Spring :^) serenityos.creator-spring.com/ Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Totally agree about the jenga towers, and as for discord I guess I'll get used to it over time.
Hey Andreas, love your content. Thanks for everything you do! One thing I'd recommend you take a look at is "C. S. Lewis - The Sermon and the Lunch " (there's a pretty good youtube channel that has a bunch of his talks, called "C.S. Lewis essays"). It touches a bit on this topic, and I think you might find it enjoyable. Have a great rest of your weekend.
i think people should be a little less self conscious about internet communication. the internet is wildly different from in person communication. you have different technical affordances, get different information about other people, and you have different goals that you want to accomplish. given that, it seems only natural that you act different than you would in person.
I wouldn't ever put my real life personality online fully under a single name. A real life conversation is pretty much never recorded, but the internet always is, and I don't like that.
Are you native to Sweden? I've heard English for so long that it might seem odd to hear Swedish, given that you are. It's like Pewdiepie, he's spoken English for so long, it almost seems strange to hear him speak Swedish again. Other than that, it is great to hear about your recovery and hope you continue on that path and go strong! When it comes to Discord, use it how you feel comfortable doing so. You shouldn't have to pressure yourself into trying to fit in to a certain platform. Discord is very freeing and a relaxed platform, there really is no standard to follow. Just use it in a way you feel comfortable :)
@@awesomekling Any chance of doing a video in Swedish or talking in Swedish for a bit? Might be a big ask, but I honestly couldn't tell until I seen some older videos and some where Swedish came up in your browser.
it's kinda ok I guess. I don't speak to my mother the same way I speak to my friends or brothers. Also the media changes a lot. Is not the same on phone or alive haha
Wow, this is great insight. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I hadn’t considered the medium affecting the message, but that makes a ton of sense too.
Praying you continue to grow and share - your work and attitude is a continual blessing and inspiration for me and many others!
Andreas, as a pastor and former software developer/trainer I found that there is always the need for some kind of role adoption that needs to take place. Most people have a persona/role at work that tends to differ from the one at home or elsewhere. As a pastor in a church I have found out that I need no such distinction, because what I am at church is what I am at home with my family. I don't put too heavy a requirement on the things you do in order to be able to display the obvious genius that you possess. Don't judge yourself too harshly, I love what you do and you inspire, regardless of the role you assume in order to succeed. The fact that you are so honest and open about it is very refreshing.
Thank you, Pastor!
Guilt is the worst bully because it not only tortures you, but also makes you forget some of the traits that people have once admired you for. You just have to keep reminding yourself that your old lifestyle is behind you and that what you have to offer to people is of far greater importance than the guilt you may feel about your old choices.
For me personally, these are some of the things I admire about you: (BTW don't take any of these to mean that I think you are trying to give a certain impression, I'm just saying what I'm getting from watching your videos and your interactions with the community both here and on Github).
Your "well hello guys, welcome to another video", always makes me smile and I immediately feel comfortable (serene?) watching your video. You put a certain emphasis on the "hello" which makes it all the more welcoming.
Your ability to articulate yourself without stumbling on your words is impressive. Today was an exception, but understandly so because who can truly understand the matters of the heart? Not even man can do it. So it is hard to put into words, but you still did great.👍
I admire your dedication to this TH-cam channel, because it shows you are someone who can commit (no pun intended 😉)
Your dedication to the gym reminds me that life isn't just about all work, and no play.
Your ability to type very quickly is admirable. I always remind myself when I see it that to be an uber hackz0r like Andreas, I need to improve that typing speed. 👨💻
Your knowledge of low level systems and how to build one is something I want to eventually learn myself.
Wow, that's a bit sad. I hope you manage to deal with your fears, you can do it man!
Thank you! It gets better every day :)
The different lie for a different person hits home, thankfully I've been clean this past 3 months and it feels great.
Thanks for telling your story, I think a lot of addicts feel isolation and talking about it can help alleviate that.
i am just happy that all of this exists, if no youtube, no discord, no github would exist we wouldn't have any idea who Andreas is, so just keep on creating, eventually everyone gets their salvation.
Such an honest and touching response, you’re an inspiration Andreas!
Also what you said about the medium affecting your behaviour was thought provoking. I’d say it’s “fully duplex” i.e. not only does it change how I’d behave based how what I say is received, but also as how I receive other people’s behaviour as well. To remain internally consistent but also true to the platform is as you said a balancing act, but I wonder if it could be formalized in some way. Well as Marshal McLuhan famously said “the medium is the message”.
New here but excited to binge Serenity content
This channel always makes me happy. Please continue doing what you're doing! I don't pretend to know what you've been through in your past, but seriously the wisdom and experience you're able to share now is a blessing and I really appreciate it.
I just want to say thanks for what you are doing! You are very genuine and your videos show that. Keep up the great work and do what makes your day!
I didn't know about your struggles; I feel honored to get to know such a personal detail about your life. Makes me a bit more parasocially invested, even.
That's a very self-aware comment. Indeed, we must all be careful with parasocial investment :)
I think this is something that anyone online (social media etc) struggles with. We're all on platforms where every action and every comment you make will be scrutinized and catalogued, so people go to great lengths to make sure that they are almost always seen in a positive light. I think it's part of the reason so many people struggle feeling "authentic" now is because most of their interactions are happening online, and are therefore on a spectrum of disingenuousness. I applaud your efforts to try and be authentic to yourself -- it's not an easy task!
yeah, well that's the perk of having a small channel... he can say his honest thoughts and everyone enjoys the content.... But when people have millions of watches, there's guaranteed to be some whiny person who disagrees and...whines xD
And then content makers get scared for the views and subs, and start developing second and third personas...
And, obviously he has to adhere to the whiny dude, as he quit his job and is relying on patreon and ads to make a living...(why people don't install ad blockers, I'll never know :W )
It's a really interesting reflection on your background. I hope you continue well with this, and I think you have to do what you just said "be yourself". There'll be douchebags that'll say mean things to you, it doesn't matter what. But you can just disregard these comments. In any case, you're a really cool person, and you sharing your knowledge is something you have to be proud of! (besides the fact you created an entire OS!).
I've struggled with being a coomer for 3 years and I get the same fears when I try to make new friends.
It's nice to see people who face their fears and embrace who they are.
It sort of gives me a string of hope to hang on to.
@@kreuner11 I think it has something to do with porn addiction
It's amazing to hear you talk about all of the things that are certainly not easy for one to talk about. Believe it or not - you are truly an inspiration for many of us. Keep going, Andreas. You got it! 🐞
And here we are, 2 months later, and creating a Discord turned out to be a very great idea, maybe even the best one you had recently.
Andreas, all I can say is that I'm very encouraged by your work and commentary on Serenity OS. I've been having serious plans to develop my own OS and CPU architecture to go with it for years, on and off but motivation is hard to come by when by day I'm just doing Spring Boot till I'm sick of it. One of these days I will get something off the ground, and you bet that I'm giving you some credit.
I think you are very brave to come forward and discuss your drug recovery. Please don't be afraid of speaking of things like that. I'm not sure what else to say, so I would like to end with an encouragement.
Well... this is a topic that's so close to my heart. It's nice hearing your insight on it.
For me, it's been mostly about social awkwardness. I'm a really quiet person, and I like being quiet. But in social environments and when I get comfortable, it gets so difficult to think what I say.
And from my perspective, I get really loud and say so much stupid things. I get these weird looks because what I just said doesn't really make sense, or I was in my own train of thought, and just blurted out whatever was in my mind at the moment.
I feel like I'm putting up a mask for that group of people.
And it feels like I don't really fit.
Because I wouldn't like to be around someone behaving like I think I am.
But I'm aware that most of that is my own complexes, and it's something that I really need to work on.
And the confidence I get when talking to other people is definitely not something I want to lose.
Thanks for putting up more than just the amazing project that Serenity is. This kind of self reflecting videos are really nice.
(I'll look into the Discord server, btw)
This is the most touching and moving video I’ve seen of yours. Amazing story, extremely relatable. Wishing you the best, Andreas. Thanks for being a leader in your community. Great job man. I’m sure you leave a positive impact on more people than you can imagine. Legend.
nice hoodie!
Thanks, it's honestly my favorite hoodie :^)
@@awesomekling Quaker is going to love that hoodie SO MUCH!
Hey Andreas.
Good point you brought up there.
All media have different limitations and consequently people will get different impressions of you depending on the medium.
You can't prevent that and you can't appear as a single persona if you use different communication media.
The best you can do is to be considerate of the limitations of the media. One classic example is that sarcasm doesn't translate well in text, so it may be better to avoid it.
Being a person that have been told I should be able to manage my life on my own for so long that it is a integral part of my thoughts. Then being diagnosed very late with adhd turns alot of things upside down. I cannot manage parts of my life without help. The lies and shame I used to feel about things I tried to hide about my failing life still lingers. Now a days it's better. But thoughts still linger. Good video BTW 😅
Very interesting topic, thank you for sharing your experience! Growing up religious in a secular world, I struggled with this idea of multiple personas and how to join them with consistency. I ended up losing myself when I gave up, and I hurt people I cared about. The last few years have been a long process of facing fears, learning who I want to be and owning up to it. I think being true is a beautiful thing to aim at, while also acknowledging that we'll never be perfect at it haha. Cheers!
you're a strong person! keep being genuine, its awesome :^)
Hey Andreas - I'd be interested in hearing about your hair loss process. It's something I'm struggling to cope with as a younger (25 year old) guy and you seemed to ease into it very well. Looking great :^)
Hahah, finally someone asking the real questions instead of "do you have cancer"? ;)
It can be depressing to see your hair disappear. I didn't like it either. But it was the same for my father, and his father, etc, so I knew it was coming. I used to take Finasteride years ago but gave up since I didn't like the side effects and I knew I was only delaying the inevitable anyway.
I've shaved my head before, but I always let it grow back. However, the last time I went to my barber, he told me it was starting to disappear on the top now as well. That made me realize it was time to just own it.
Best of luck with your own process :^)
Not quite the same thing, but I kind of struggle with this myself, the medium is "unknown people out there", be it IRC, IRL or whatever.
Basically I got trust issues, it is not like I'm lying about myself, but at the same time I'm very selective with what I let people to know about me.
I'd like to believe that my persona is still the same, albeit somewhat "filtered".
First of where did you get that hoodie? I want one!
Two: The medium effecting how I present my self is definitely something iv though about too. It’s kinda neat to see what gets amplified and suppressed. But sometimes I too get worried about if that projection “is the real me”, the thing that helps me, is to think of it like this: no one truly can climb into my head and understand my every intention, even when taking face to face, so every interpretation any one has of me is a shadow of my inner world.
The best approach I find is to just, well be your self and not to build a jenga tower of lies and identities.
As for discord and the correct usage of it, honestly the style and etiquette varies a lot from ”servers”/groups, so It’s more up to you to figure out a style just keep it consistent and most will pickup it up as they join and your community grows on there.
The hoodie is from the SerenityOS store on Spring :^) serenityos.creator-spring.com/
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Totally agree about the jenga towers, and as for discord I guess I'll get used to it over time.
I love it. I enjoy these!
Thank you for your contributions.
Mad respects man.
Thanks for the honest words.
Hey Andreas, love your content. Thanks for everything you do!
One thing I'd recommend you take a look at is "C. S. Lewis - The Sermon and the Lunch
" (there's a pretty good youtube channel that has a bunch of his talks, called "C.S. Lewis essays"). It touches a bit on this topic, and I think you might find it enjoyable.
Have a great rest of your weekend.
Hello friends!
Hello! :^)
Great video, great thoughts
if the subtext here is that you're worried about being exposed as a frogposter don't worry too much it didn't hurt fantano
I'm more of a wojakposter tbqh fam
@@awesomekling all roads lead to gondola
Brave vid!
You're awesome dude
You're doing great! :)
Rainy? It's been snowing the entire day!
awesome hoodie! bro.
Bruh, has andreas's eyes always been that shade of blue? Shit is mesmerizing lol.
Y-you too
I've never been so early.
nice shirt
i think people should be a little less self conscious about internet communication. the internet is wildly different from in person communication. you have different technical affordances, get different information about other people, and you have different goals that you want to accomplish. given that, it seems only natural that you act different than you would in person.
I wouldn't ever put my real life personality online fully under a single name. A real life conversation is pretty much never recorded, but the internet always is, and I don't like that.
@@swiftfox3461 likewise i would never put my online personality fully into real life
I would give this a like, but it already has 42, any more or less would be wrong
Are you native to Sweden? I've heard English for so long that it might seem odd to hear Swedish, given that you are. It's like Pewdiepie, he's spoken English for so long, it almost seems strange to hear him speak Swedish again.
Other than that, it is great to hear about your recovery and hope you continue on that path and go strong! When it comes to Discord, use it how you feel comfortable doing so. You shouldn't have to pressure yourself into trying to fit in to a certain platform. Discord is very freeing and a relaxed platform, there really is no standard to follow. Just use it in a way you feel comfortable :)
I'm as Swedish as it gets :)
@@awesomekling Any chance of doing a video in Swedish or talking in Swedish for a bit? Might be a big ask, but I honestly couldn't tell until I seen some older videos and some where Swedish came up in your browser.
it's kinda ok I guess. I don't speak to my mother the same way I speak to my friends or brothers. Also the media changes a lot. Is not the same on phone or alive haha
Surprised you fell for the discord meme instead of matrix protocol :\
It's a 100% pragmatic choice, and if it doesn't improve productivity we'll just get rid of it and try something else :)
@@awesomekling fair!
Hello o/
o/
I was about to ask my self oh his internet guys English is decent but is he German literally when I saw another video 6 minutes ago
Awesome! Which drugs were you abusing?
Anything I could get my hands on
I have it on good authority that this would all be fixed if you would just rewrite SerenityOS in Rust.
🍆✂️