I lost my dad AND son. There are no words. The only thing that’s helped is I started a small organization to help needy business owners. I do it in their honor. Pro bono. I step away from my own pain and escape meeting new people. Seeing how thankful they are and it helps my spirits. THAT is how you create MEANING.
As a friend said about her loving generous mother who died, we "never get over our parents dying, we just try to move on". Anyone who thinks someone gets over it, hasn't had it happen to them or lost anyone that meant a lot to them.
"There is no back to normal, there's a new normal. Moving into the new normal is a process" Mel, I found you just after losing my mom my dad and my step mom in 14 months and pretty much quiting life...I literally have devoured everything I can find by you. You have helped me so much!!mentally but I'm still deeply a work in progress even getting out of bed even with the 5 second rule, I haven't been pushing myself to do the actions But I keep you on my ear buds all day. I was really excited to see you bringing up grief on your show. Thank you!! I've already ordered Mr Kesslers book.
I have a 14 yo daughter that has gone through all this too. That's what gets me up everyday. I sound like you said you would tell yourself every night "tomorrow I'm gonna....." Also that 1 year is like 1 minute so true. People don't understand grief becomes your invisible pal -it's always there.
One year in grief seems like just a blink of an eye or as only "yesterday" as the author said. Finding "Meaning" as the 6th step in the process sounds most useful as a follow up to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's beautiful work. Condolences to this lovely Mother & her children. Thankyou Mel.
I feel for this mom. I lost my 4 month old son in 2008 and it has caused me to have separation anxiety with my other two kids. The fear that I could go through it again! Losing a child will change you for sure!
I can only imagine what you have been through... You are very brave to continue on and take care of your other babies. ❤️🌈 What I have found that has helped my with fear and anxiety has been stoicism. It has helped me immensely. If you think you might be interested read/listen to some Seneca, Plato, and my favourite, Marcus Aurelius. They have truly helped me. I send you love and best wishes to you are your family x
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔😢 I have a sister that lost a child at 4yrs old tragically & it’s been over 30 years & she still cries - I feel so bad for her No mom should have to bury a child I can still remember the little casket 😢💔 so sad That kind of grief never goes away
@@vixter28 thank you! It definitely is something no parent should experience. I just pray that I never lose my other two kids. I couldn’t handle it again. I’m so sorry for your sisters loss. Losing a child at 4 would be even harder because you have more of a bond! I will pray for her :)
@@vixter28 I Know of a powerful man he can help you in any situation,he fix broken relationship, And more of it. He helped me without any delay.WhatsApp him now.(09033814729)
Omg there is no “ back to normal “!!! I’m living it - I didn’t lose a child I lost a boyfriend/ lover by suicide It’s a tragic loss This mom lost a son to a tragic/sudden loss - total complicated grief My heart just hurts 💔 I have a friend that lost a daughter to drug overdose - I can’t even begin to imagine the pain. My friends want the “the old” me back & I’m not the same anymore 😢💔
@melrobbinsshow you are so humanly and gracefully facilitating these difficult situations with your guests. I have watched a few shows and in all of them, your intelligence, care and timing are very touching to witness. Glad to see a tv show with these values.
Blessings and prayers sent to this entire family. No mother should have to bury her child, true...but unfortunately they do. I've ( in 64yrs. ) have seen this happen way too often. This gentleman's new book is not only educational and right on, its needed for families. MEL ROBBINS you are an extraordinary human being. Thank you 💖💖💖💖💖
Wow. Seriously, dude? I understand that the underlying issue he's concerned about is that she's not engaging in life, but the main examples he chooses right off the bat are that...there will be dishes in the sink for a few days and she lets clean laundry sit unfolded for days on end? Less than one year after losing her son? JUST. WOW. He can have several seats. Also, he talks about her just not being like she was before. Newsflash, dude--she lost a child. She will NEVER be like she was before. Ever. Not exactly. And feeling the pressure of how much you wish she was isn't helping her, I promise you. He's lucky she's so invested in maintaining their marriage. If he was my husband, it wouldn't take many of those kinds of comments before I wouldn't care much one way or the other if he stayed or went.
I feel the exact same way you do. Just seeing him sit there makes me feel angry. He seems completely disconnected emotionally. Why isn't he crying with her? Why isn't he showing deep compassion? I guess it's all about him. I realize it wasn't his biological son. He needs to get counseling himself. This is not just her problem. He has a big problem that he needs to face himself so that he knows how to be there for her and how to take care of himself.
@@isikka16 correct; some people "just don't get it". If you haven't experienced the tragic loss of a loved one, you really can't know what they/we are feeling. But eventually, life teaches them a lesson in giving them their own, personal dose of custom-just-for-them grief. THEN, they will finally 'get it'. For some it will be too late to mend the damage done to a relationship due to their lack of empathy & understanding. For others a dawning of understanding will occur and they will feel remorse over not being kinder & more understanding of their grief stricken loved one. Until that hard life lesson comes, we must try and practice empathy if that loving quality is not an ingrained personality trait. The way you learn empathy is by putting yourself in someone else's shoes......imagining all the emotions they might/must be feeling..........imagining the death of your most beloved person, even pet. Loss is the great equalizer. Eventually, we all confront it. It usually makes us kinder, gentler, better humans.
Push through feelings and reengage?? Terribly simplistic advice. Their grief is new. A better idea is for everyone to get grief counseling instead of PUSH THROUGH (suppress). This momma needs mercy and patience
Yes, seriously not impressed with this... I think sometimes people get very impatient with people showing their pain. And I mean, the step father complaining about dishes being in the sink, and the laundry not done after only ONE FRICKING YEAR. She lost her baby ffs. How about you take care of her and get her counselling. Jeez. Annoyed.
This is a ridiculous story like they were stuck for guests. It's been a year! Good grief (to coin a phrase). I always think the first 6 yrs are the worst. It's only been a year! Where is the compassion? The husband doesnt come off great here. There's a stunning lack of empathy here.
How the heck can you not slip into your grief? I can't stand these kinds of shows. I feel for this mom. I can't even finish watching it. One year? Guys wake up. One year isn't even like one month. It takes years to process the loss of an adult child to an overdose.
it has been 8 years of intense, complicated grief after the S of my only child, son, who'd also become hooked on H. I found him after an intraoral GS d____. I still can't use that word. I blame myself for failing him somehow and can come up with convincing arguments to support that thinking. But God knows, I loved him with all my heart and nothing was too much for him. However, I made mistakes. Thing is, we usually d__ before our children and don't have to rehash every misstep along the way. I am only now beginning to try to forgive myself for his d. It was a snowball of tragedies that put me into this state. Loss has been a karmic lesson I've been tasked, having lost my beloved daddy age 13 which changed me forever. Years later, I lost my mom, my only brother and my doggie daughter w/i 6 months of each other. I had been a Psych Minor, Communication Major, have strong intuition & always strived for harmony for those around me. My son was my everything. My son's death almost killed me. During my panic attacks I felt the cortisol being released into my body and cortisol overload is dangerous. He was intensely bright, witty, & beautiful; one of the coolest young men I've ever known. I am cursed with hypersensitivity of all senses. I hear, smell, see, sense & perceive things on a level few others do. Year two was worse that year one, as everyone else has moved on and thinks you are over it, too. Wrong. I have removed myself from society and broken away from distant cousins I had reached out to for support. They could not relate and had issues with their feelings resulting from life under the thumb of a domineering narcissistic mother. That woman cut me to the core and I removed myself from their orbit which still saddens me. Bottom line, it is hard for most people to understand what someone under intense grief is feeling. Even the three grief counselors I worked with made no difference. Just as all doctors are not great doctors; all grief counselors are not good at their chosen profession. OR, I can take responsibility and say, my grief was impenetrable. The only thing I could do was be patient and go through this in my own time. I have only been coming out of it in the last 8 months. It has been a deterrent to my healing in not having anything or anyone else to live for. Had I had other children I'd have stuffed down my grief and continued on for them. I know this, as I had risen above my other grief, depression, fears & anxiety in order to give him some semblance of a confident, cheerful only parent. In my pessimism I suspect I was not even fully successful at that. This has been the longest, darkest, hardest journey of my life. But I am now determined to find the lessons contained within. Neville Goddard has been helpful, as have the teachings of Marcus Aurelius on stoicism.
I Know of a powerful man he can help you in any situation,he fix broken relationship, And more of it. He helped me without any delay.WhatsApp him now.(09033814729)
I lost my dad AND son. There are no words. The only thing that’s helped is I started a small organization to help needy business owners. I do it in their honor. Pro bono. I step away from my own pain and escape meeting new people. Seeing how thankful they are and it helps my spirits. THAT is how you create MEANING.
As a friend said about her loving generous mother who died, we "never get over our parents dying, we just try to move on". Anyone who thinks someone gets over it, hasn't had it happen to them or lost anyone that meant a lot to them.
“Only time can heal what reason cannot” Seneca.
Exactly!
Exactly
Lost my mom unexpectedly in August. She was my best friend and we lived together. Can't handle the pain I feel.
"There is no back to normal, there's a new normal. Moving into the new normal is a process" Mel, I found you just after losing my mom my dad and my step mom in 14 months and pretty much quiting life...I literally have devoured everything I can find by you. You have helped me so much!!mentally but I'm still deeply a work in progress even getting out of bed even with the 5 second rule, I haven't been pushing myself to do the actions But I keep you on my ear buds all day. I was really excited to see you bringing up grief on your show. Thank you!! I've already ordered Mr Kesslers book.
I have a 14 yo daughter that has gone through all this too. That's what gets me up everyday. I sound like you said you would tell yourself every night "tomorrow I'm gonna....."
Also that 1 year is like 1 minute so true. People don't understand grief becomes your invisible pal -it's always there.
One year in grief seems like just a blink of an eye or as only "yesterday" as the author said. Finding "Meaning" as the 6th step in the process sounds most useful as a follow up to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's beautiful work. Condolences to this lovely Mother & her children. Thankyou Mel.
I feel for this mom. I lost my 4 month old son in 2008 and it has caused me to have separation anxiety with my other two kids. The fear that I could go through it again! Losing a child will change you for sure!
I can only imagine what you have been through... You are very brave to continue on and take care of your other babies. ❤️🌈
What I have found that has helped my with fear and anxiety has been stoicism. It has helped me immensely. If you think you might be interested read/listen to some Seneca, Plato, and my favourite, Marcus Aurelius. They have truly helped me. I send you love and best wishes to you are your family x
Isla thank you so much! I will check them out 😊 Iyanla vanzant, tony Robbins, and Mel Robbins have helped me a ton too! Check them out if you can ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔😢
I have a sister that lost a child at 4yrs old tragically & it’s been over 30 years
& she still cries - I feel so bad for her
No mom should have to bury a child
I can still remember the little casket
😢💔 so sad
That kind of grief never goes away
@@vixter28 thank you! It definitely is something no parent should experience. I just pray that I never lose my other two kids. I couldn’t handle it again. I’m so sorry for your sisters loss. Losing a child at 4 would be even harder because you have more of a bond! I will pray for her :)
@@vixter28 I Know of a powerful man he can help you in any situation,he fix broken relationship,
And more of it.
He helped me without any delay.WhatsApp him now.(09033814729)
Omg there is no “ back to normal “!!!
I’m living it - I didn’t lose a child
I lost a boyfriend/ lover by suicide
It’s a tragic loss
This mom lost a son to a tragic/sudden loss - total complicated grief
My heart just hurts 💔
I have a friend that lost a daughter to drug overdose - I can’t even begin to imagine the pain.
My friends want the “the old” me back
& I’m not the same anymore 😢💔
@melrobbinsshow you are so humanly and gracefully facilitating these difficult situations with your guests. I have watched a few shows and in all of them, your intelligence, care and timing are very touching to witness. Glad to see a tv show with these values.
You are too kind! Thanks for watching the show and for your very kind words. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any new uploads: bit.ly/2NqBeYH
Blessings and prayers sent to this entire family. No mother should have to bury her child, true...but unfortunately they do. I've ( in 64yrs. ) have seen this happen way too often. This gentleman's new book is not only educational and right on, its needed for families. MEL ROBBINS you are an extraordinary human being. Thank you
💖💖💖💖💖
I don't think this husband really grasps the loss she and the boy are feeling. Laundry? Really?
So do the day dishes or laundry man!!!
RIGHT!? What an a-hole
Amen
Grief just like you feel Momma ❤🙏
Wow. Seriously, dude? I understand that the underlying issue he's concerned about is that she's not engaging in life, but the main examples he chooses right off the bat are that...there will be dishes in the sink for a few days and she lets clean laundry sit unfolded for days on end? Less than one year after losing her son? JUST. WOW. He can have several seats.
Also, he talks about her just not being like she was before. Newsflash, dude--she lost a child. She will NEVER be like she was before. Ever. Not exactly. And feeling the pressure of how much you wish she was isn't helping her, I promise you.
He's lucky she's so invested in maintaining their marriage. If he was my husband, it wouldn't take many of those kinds of comments before I wouldn't care much one way or the other if he stayed or went.
I thought the same thing! Laundry? It'll be there. 🙄
You said what I thought. My suggestion would be that he offer to do the dishes & fold clothes & contribute kindly and in practical ways.
Absolutely.. crazy guy' when someone is grieving the least you can do is being there . But people just don't get it.
I feel the exact same way you do. Just seeing him sit there makes me feel angry. He seems completely disconnected emotionally. Why isn't he crying with her? Why isn't he showing deep compassion? I guess it's all about him. I realize it wasn't his biological son. He needs to get counseling himself. This is not just her problem. He has a big problem that he needs to face himself so that he knows how to be there for her and how to take care of himself.
@@isikka16 correct; some people "just don't get it".
If you haven't experienced the tragic loss of a loved one, you really can't know what they/we are feeling. But eventually, life teaches them a lesson in giving them their own, personal dose of custom-just-for-them grief. THEN, they will finally 'get it'.
For some it will be too late to mend the damage done to a relationship due to their lack of empathy & understanding. For others a dawning of understanding will occur and they will feel remorse over not being kinder & more understanding of their grief stricken loved one.
Until that hard life lesson comes, we must try and practice empathy if that loving quality is not an ingrained personality trait.
The way you learn empathy is by putting yourself in someone else's shoes......imagining all the emotions they might/must be feeling..........imagining the death of your most beloved person, even pet.
Loss is the great equalizer. Eventually, we all confront it. It usually makes us kinder, gentler, better humans.
This breaks my heart but this so called "Opioid Epidemic" is killing so many with chronic pain 😔 I was one of them for 34 years
Mel, you are doing amazing work!
Push through feelings and reengage?? Terribly simplistic advice. Their grief is new. A better idea is for everyone to get grief counseling instead of PUSH THROUGH (suppress). This momma needs mercy and patience
Yes, seriously not impressed with this... I think sometimes people get very impatient with people showing their pain. And I mean, the step father complaining about dishes being in the sink, and the laundry not done after only ONE FRICKING YEAR. She lost her baby ffs. How about you take care of her and get her counselling. Jeez. Annoyed.
This is a ridiculous story like they were stuck for guests. It's been a year! Good grief (to coin a phrase). I always think the first 6 yrs are the worst. It's only been a year! Where is the compassion? The husband doesnt come off great here. There's a stunning lack of empathy here.
Agree, they edited out the begining of that show of my story. Oh well.
He’s gross. He’s not attractive at all
Looks aren’t everything but he is also a total jerk!!!!
Wow!
Absolutely 💯 what I said
My 5 second rule for her would be: divorce him and get a hot guy that is as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside.
step-dad will never understand how she feels .....
Wow. What a piece of work this guy is. No support at all.
How the heck can you not slip into your grief? I can't stand these kinds of shows. I feel for this mom. I can't even finish watching it. One year? Guys wake up. One year isn't even like one month. It takes years to process the loss of an adult child to an overdose.
it has been 8 years of intense, complicated grief after the S of my only child, son, who'd also become hooked on H.
I found him after an intraoral GS d____. I still can't use that word. I blame myself for failing him somehow and can come up with convincing arguments to support that thinking. But God knows, I loved him with all my heart and nothing was too much for him. However, I made mistakes. Thing is, we usually d__ before our children and don't have to rehash every misstep along the way. I am only now beginning to try to forgive myself for his d.
It was a snowball of tragedies that put me into this state. Loss has been a karmic lesson I've been tasked, having lost my beloved daddy age 13 which changed me forever. Years later, I lost my mom, my only brother and my doggie daughter w/i 6 months of each other.
I had been a Psych Minor, Communication Major, have strong intuition & always strived for harmony for those around me. My son was my everything.
My son's death almost killed me. During my panic attacks I felt the cortisol being released into my body and cortisol overload is dangerous. He was intensely bright, witty, & beautiful; one of the coolest young men I've ever known.
I am cursed with hypersensitivity of all senses. I hear, smell, see, sense & perceive things on a level few others do. Year two was worse that year one, as everyone else has moved on and thinks you are over it, too. Wrong.
I have removed myself from society and broken away from distant cousins I had reached out to for support. They could not relate and had issues with their feelings resulting from life under the thumb of a domineering narcissistic mother. That woman cut me to the core and I removed myself from their orbit which still saddens me.
Bottom line, it is hard for most people to understand what someone under intense grief is feeling. Even the three grief counselors I worked with made no difference. Just as all doctors are not great doctors; all grief counselors are not good at their chosen profession. OR, I can take responsibility and say, my grief was impenetrable.
The only thing I could do was be patient and go through this in my own time.
I have only been coming out of it in the last 8 months.
It has been a deterrent to my healing in not having anything or anyone else to live for. Had I had other children I'd have stuffed down my grief and continued on for them. I know this, as I had risen above my other grief, depression, fears & anxiety in order to give him some semblance of a confident, cheerful only parent. In my pessimism I suspect I was not even fully successful at that. This has been the longest, darkest, hardest journey of my life. But I am now determined to find the lessons contained within.
Neville Goddard has been helpful, as have the teachings of Marcus Aurelius on stoicism.
How are you doing now Nicole ?
Just sayin... Her husband, apparently not much of a Dad, is packed with padding to keep away any emotional contact. 😭
It's called cortisol and it causes weight from stress. I'll bet all the drug addiction and everything else hs caused a lot of his weight.
I Know of a powerful man he can help you in any situation,he fix broken relationship,
And more of it.
He helped me without any delay.WhatsApp him now.(09033814729)
Are these actors?
The first video I give a thumbs down of yours. That man is lazy and clearly wants to be taken care of. You can’t rush grief man. It’s ONE year.
Totally agree.
Opioids used for detox is NEVER a good idea!