Thank you. I needed this advice. I had to put my beloved cat down. He was my spiritual partner. I have grief and guilt, and I miss him very much. I feel very alone in this, as most people think; "it's only a cat."; I can feel people think, "Aren't you over this yet?" This podcast will help me take the steps to heal.
Until a person has a bond with an animal, they can say cruel, dismissive comments like that. As I get older, I prefer the company of animals over humans.
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤ A pet’s death is often more difficult than losing a human bc we’re losing that unconditional love. Most human love is conditional & pet love is always unconditional. Please do not undermine your grieving. I did not know unconditional love until I got my beloved pup. But guaranteed, your cat is still w you in another form of energy. Honor your mourning 💚😻💚
I’m so sorry! It is like losing a piece of your heart naturally. I had this conversation recently and said if anything out animals are the closest to us. When you have a child, typically they will spend a lot of time at school. If you work from home or spend a lot of time at home, you are spending so much time with your animal. The bond is very deep. I hope you remember all your beautiful precious moments together and it helps with your healing ❤️
On the morning of July 19th, my husband and best friend of 17 years, had a heart attack in front of me. I immediately called 911 and performed CPR for about 10 minutes, until the paramedics arrived. They worked on him for about 10 more minutes and were able to get his heartbeat back just as they arrived at the hospital. My beautiful, sweet husband died the next night. The thing is, we were in the middle of auctioning our home, and everything we owned on August 3rd. We had always dreamed of moving to Italy when he retired and we rented an apartment in Southern Italy. Our flight is booked for September 4th. In the last few weeks, I've had to take care of everything related to his death, the auction, and everything else. I'm sitting in an empty house right now, trying to pack my bags for the trip I intend to keep. I haven't processed his death. I am so numb. I'm alone and sad. I just keep listening to Mel's podcasts, because she makes me feel like someone is in my corner. I'm not afraid of the future. I'm carrying on with our dream. I'll be okay.... It's the present that I'm having trouble with.
Can’t imagine what you’re going through right now…so sorry for your loss. How old was your husband? Moving to Italy is my dream as well. Wishing you the best. Take comfort.
@CrystallyLavender He was 64. We spent 5 weeks in a small hamlet in the Cilento National Park this past spring and fell in love with the people there. We were finally happy.
I am so so sorry for your loss! My twin sister also lost her husband almost the same way as you but her husband died in the ambulance he was 55, she was numb for so long! I honor your COURAGE, STRENGTH and choice to carry on, SELF LOVE will help you!! BLESSINGS TO YOU!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻✨♥️✨🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am married to a first responder who has seen horrific trauma through his 20+ career. I always feel guilty when I encounter something that would be considered a “small” trauma and it effects me and I just swallow it down. I don’t know how first responders do it but I can tell you, being the wife of one, you see the lack of support in the agency’s and how this trickles down to the wives and kids. I am so glad you are doing a video like this. It is very much appreciated and is a great stepping stone for those seeking to find a healing path.
Thank you for addressing this. I was involved in a motorcycle accident this summer (about two months ago) and my friend and lover didn't make it. On top of my own severe injuries from the accident, I am dealing with the loss of my friend and our potential future together. I do have a trauma therapist, but I am still searching for info to help me deal with this impossible mess. Every day is a challenge. I feel this insane need to talk about the accident all the time. I see now that I need to be a little kinder to myself and understand that my mind is still trying to process this trauma. Talking is good. My mind and body are telling me that it is trying to process the event. It's not about obsessing about the event, but rather about trying to heal and find meaning in my emotions and the events I witnessed. Thank you, Mel! You rock!
Thank you for sharing what you did. I too am dealing with layers of loss and catastrophe that blasted me out of who I really am. But I'm working on faith and processing through writing, Higher Power, and creativity as a lifeline. Much love.
This was so wonderful. A little over a year ago, my teenage daughter and I found my brother dead in our home. I'm a 911 operator, and for a very long time, I literally fought panic attacks at work. Both my baby and I got help. Understanding what is going on in our brains has helped so much. It's a slow process, but we are trying to do exactly what she's talking about. I would love to try EMDR. It's often not covered. ❤
I lost my orange furbaby in April. I am still heartbroken. May all who have lost someone or a furry someone..may you all feel some peace and love. I believe that they are all watching over all of us.
Beautiful. Thank you Mel for being so open. So sorry you went thru and are going thru this. I so needed this podcast right now. I’m working thru serious PTSD right now from an event that happened 20 years ago. So needed to hear “the trauma response is a sign of your survival, not that you are broken!” Wow! Sending much love to you! Arm around your shoulder.
This was SO incredible! It's the first time I've ever understood why I can't get certain experiences out my head, why different people emotionally react to traumas so differently, why I feel shame about my feelings (and why not to), and how to process it. Want to share this with the whole world! Thank you to you both xxx AND a big hug to you Mel, for your own experience that prompted this recording.
As a young teen I witnessed a car accident at an intersection by my home. I heard an unfamiliar, horrible sound of the impact and crunch of metal and then a woman screaming for help for her baby. It is something I remember often in my life especially after having a child. An insurance agent came to our home for my statement and then we never spoke about it again in our family. I didn't have the tools to process this as a young person. That day that woman lost a child and I still think of her and what that must have done to the rest of her life.
Thank you Mel ❤, I really needed to see this podcast about “Trauma.” All this time I have been holding it in and when I did try to talk about it, no one wanted to take the time to really hear what I had to say. I now know that I have been reaching out to the wrong people. I really need to see a psychologist who can help me, tell my story of the way it needs to be told in order to heal not only my mind mentally, but my overall body, and soul. I’m just fresh out of living a traumatic experience, and I’m tired of my family telling me just to get over it. They were not there in my shoes when I was sent to a hospice on Oct 16th, 21, and given only 2-3 months to live at the age of 44. I was surrounded by people that I got close to that were literally dying left and right. Well the good news from all this is that I survived, how 🤷♀️, I still don’t know till this day. On Dec 22nd/22, I was finally able to return home to my 3 children. I’m beyond grateful for a second chance at life, but I feel I still have not dealt with the trauma that I have witnessed while my stay at the Hospice. The Dr’s, nurses, care workers, could not believe what they were witnessing when they finally said their goodbyes to me not by dying, but by wishing me well as I was leaving the facility to go home 🏠 to my children ALIVE. They all said it was a miracle, cause they never see anyone leave a hospice like they witnessed that day with me. I’m very grateful, and so beyond thankful to be home with my children, & family. But the trauma I went through still haunts me, & it’s time to take action to file that memory in a healthy way, so I can live the best life I can with my 3 beautiful children. Love you Mel ❤❤❤
❤❤❤Love & Wisdom for you!! ❤❤❤ My FIL was given 6 mos. To live & we (his granddaughter & I) moved in with him & his wife & their 2:sons. 🎉🎉🎉He lived for 22 More Years!!🎉🎉🎉. His Dr's were amazed! They laughed & kindly harassed him about "your not supposed to be here" ❤❤❤ God has a Larger Plan for you!! 🎉🎉🎉Celebrate with your children!! 🎉🎉🎉 I have been in similar situations & that's why I "get" you!! 💞💞💞💞Blessings & Let Your Healing continue!!💞💞💞💞
Wow! That sounds like such a gift and so painful at the same time! I hope you can put the pieces together to make this experience a less difficult memory. Take the time & care you need for yourself!
@@michellet796 Hi Michelle, thank you🤗❤️I count my blessings each day. Honestly I really believe that my 3 children pulled me through. My mom had brought me a picture frame with all of their pictures when they were just babies. Each day when I woke up I would stare at their pictures on the wall and I would cry and just kept saying to myself that I need to get back to my babies. I prayed 🙏 everyday for some kind of miracle to get back home. It was special when I returned home cause it was 3 days before Christmas 🎄 and I surprised my kids on Dec 22,2022. Words can’t express the looks on their faces, and emotions. It truly was a miracle. I know longer take life for granted. Also I have secondary progressive MS, and I have to cherish whatever ever time I have left, but the trauma I went through while being in the Hospice and seeing so many people die really affected me terribly. After watching Mel’s podcast it made me realize that I really need to get some help to deal with this issue in order to live a more abundant life with my 3 beautiful children. I will be turning 46 in December and I hope to have many more. Sending you lots of love ❤️ and hugs 🤗 Have a beautiful night ❤️❤️❤️
This was brilliant. I loved how Mel reframed and reiterated the points made by Dr. Mary Kathleen. Definitely a must-see (and very healing) episode for many people.
Mel, I feel you and Dr. Mary Katherine just took my hand and brought me to the front of the "line". Three weeks ago I lost my (adult, but) younger brother to suicide. The shock and trauma has me staggering around in excruciating emotional pain, guilt, shame, and a planet of regret sitting on my heart. This podcast gave me step 1 on what I'm certain is a long road, but boy do I appreciate these road signs. With gratitude, Diane
Thank you Mel for sharing this story and providing insight from the expert. I had a similar experience when I was in the subway and a woman jumped in front of our train. Luckily my intuition told me to sit on the bench, therefore I did not see her jump. Possibly worse is that this special woman warned the crowd to "Look away" and chose to jump on a Sunday evening, when the subway was quiet. Her words are seared into my brain. Although I tried to find more information about the woman, the police would not release the information. Was this thoughtful woman married, was she alone, could I have prevented her death if I had not sat on the bench? I have filed this memory away except for when I am at the station in which the person died. Love to you Mel.
This time last year my mom said 'Amber I can't breath'! Her eyes rolled back then she had a heart attack and died in that moment. I still can't get over witnessing my mom, my best friend, die right in front of me. I already suffer from complex PTSD from childhood trauma and now my brain is really fried. I still can't remember anything from before that day. The shock and trauma has changed me forever. The nightmares I have every night wakes my up with such a jolt. The feeling of being abandoned or left behind is deep. I can only hope time will heal the wounds this trauma has left in my soul.
@@KingJames_iv Thank you for the kind words. The hardest part for me was thinking I could have saved her. I know now it was truly her time and I was there to let her know 'it's ok, I'll be ok, go home to dad'. I had my "come to Jesus" and the Dark night of the soul moments all at the same time. Time heals. Slowly but surly we must move forward.🩷
This has been the best 51 minutes invested in my life and I am not exaggerating. This couldn’t have come up at a better time. Thank you Mel Robbins and Dr Catherine ❤️
I love this universe. I’m in trauma therapy finally and I’m reading “the body keeps the score” and this wonderful podcast episode ‘appears’. This topic is incredibly important. Thank you!!
Thank you, Mel. I’ve been following you since you came on on Tom’s podcast, and I’ve been waiting for you to cover trauma (from the Mel perspective). The way you have with words, and the guests you speak with, connect with me in such a deeper way than anything else I’ve found. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all you do each and every day. You have been my guiding light and my mentor through the last 5 years, the absolute hardest of my life. And every day, you continue to bring light and hope to so many of us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 💜💜💜
Oh Mel….. I truly understand how you feel! I lived in a high rise and I was on the phone facing out into the woods when all of a sudden I see something falling down fast, it was a lady who jumped off our building so naturally I went out to my balcony and looked down and I saw her laying on the ground no blood, she was looking up and it looked like ANGELS laid her down peacefully and NOT twisted or distorted it was surreal, I remember seeing her wearing bright red lipstick! I stood there in shock I couldn’t move, I remember PRAYING that God Forgave her and take her into heave! And that very moment I remember being in that much pain that I “ wrote” a goodbye letter from my PAIN of my long divorce & dealing with my NARCISSIST ex husband making my LIFE HELL because I said NO MORE!! I DEEPLY APPRECIATE you sharing such a TOUGH and IMPORTANT Subject, TRAUMA! Mel your helplessness is from being a MOM, WE Mom’s are natural RESCUERS and HELPERS …. MOM MODE kicks in, it’s hard wired into our bodies as CHILD BEARERS!!! Mel you are such a INSPIRATION, THANK YOU!!! I send you so much LOVE, LIGHT, HUGS and BLESSINGS! You are NOT ALONE!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻✨💝✨♥️✨💝✨🙏🏻🙏🏻
Even if you weren’t blessed with children that you tried very hard to have you still can be in “Mom Mode” . This comment is upsetting. Just wanted you to know you don’t have to be a Mom to have these instincts and reactions the same way. Please don’t count us out we are all going to be empathetic in this way. If you have it in you Mom or not. ♥️
@@frankhildebrand6131 I wasn't counting out the Mom instinct from someone who hasn't given birth... That wasn't even in the conversation, and I don't take that stance at all. I have childless women AND men friends who are as "mamna bear" PROTECTIVE instict with kiddos/animals/ etc as any of us! I was referring to her statement SHE crawled into bed with HER son, THAT was my clue, and I identify from having the same sort of response with my own son in a similar situation. However, truly... Due to the fact my comment triggered you to HEAR it that way and you state it is hurtful as if it has anything about you/your situation, it sounds like you may have unresolved trauma around this very subject and how it has played out in YOUR life. Fortunately the whole video lays out the path of how to resolve it. I wish for you that the subject is no longer a trigger for pain within you, that you can put the files in their right resting place. 💚
@@frankhildebrand6131 …. My comment about Momma Bear Mode did NOT exclude anyone! I sense you feel very wounded about that! My comment was directed at Moms who carry babies, obviously your a man so this could NEVER relate to you! However you could relate to Papa Bear Mode and I believe any loving human can connect to this to “ Save the child” emotion if they are a dad or not! So please understand my COMMENT was NOT to trigger anyone, just a observation coming from a loving sympathetic place! I wish you peace in your healing! 🙏🏻🙏🏻✨💙✨🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@Maggie1111-sq6rddon’t explain yourself. You weee coming from a good place. Your heart. Sorry for your trauma. I’m glad you did not see her in an awful way and that she looked peaceful 😢❤
Thank you Mel for this episode & sharing. I live with trauma everyday and trying to walk through it alone is overwhelming. Thank you for taking the walk with me today.
A million Thank YOU’S Dr Mary Catherine your explanation is SO SO HELPFUL! I have been in therapy for over 45 yrs, NEVER have I heard TRAUMA being explained this way! My youngest son a Navy Vet was 6 yrs old when we started our 8 yr divorce war, today 29 yrs later, he is starving himself from the TRAUMA he has experienced over the years & from his father doing something horrible to him ,which triggered his trauma again just before COVID, then my son isolated and NOW he is NOT eating, he is down 65 lbs! 🙏🏻🙏🏻I will use this POWERFUL INFO to try and help him LIVE! This Momma Bear is desperate to save her baby, my youngest son!💔😥💔 Game changer….. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! In gratitude with blessings!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻✨♥️✨🙏🏻🙏🏻
Mel, l don't think l have cried so much from a Podcast. You have helped me to understand the years of pain from traumatic experiences involving my family. The trauma of silence, abandonment, feeling shame and suffering in silence. When you voice your feelings, you get the past is the past by those you love. Thank you, thank you for giving me the tools and sharing your journey. I am so grateful for you. PS Saw your podcast on ADD. I too have suffered not knowing l had it. 73 yrs. of feeling "what is wrong with me?" 💘💘 Rachaelle
Awwww Mel 😢 Just listened to this podcast and wanted to give you big hug at the very end of it! I’m working on healing from childhood trauma. It’s hard work but it’s very rewarding. My nervous system has never been so regulated before. It’s weird but good :) I wish you luck in dealing with this recent trauma you experienced. Keep up the great work! I look forward to your episodes. I listen twice a week, every week :)
Thank you, Mel, for all you do to help others. The memory will be etched in your mind forever. But as time goes on, it will get easier. The reason it affected you and not others is because you and I are empaths! I suffered from PTSD for a year. I lived in a duplex. My neighbors were a young couple in their 30's with 3 small children. Long story short, she left him and took the kids. He hung himself in our shared basement. I had to go for counseling for 8 months. I was the last person to see and speak to him. He and I chatted the night before. He seemed positive and said he was going to do everything to get his family back. The guilt was hard, I thought, did I miss any sign. If I had known, I would have done everything in my power to prevent it. I have a daughter the same age. It was helpful to talk about it, but I was afraid people would think I was bringing negative energy. I had to live in that house for 8 months after. I was hyper vigilant, scared, I felt alone. I lost weight and had to go on anxiety medicine. I thank God that I only think about it on the anniversary of that day, which is 5 years ago. God bless you Mel, hang in there, I promise it will get better. 🙏 🩷
I have so much gratitude for this podcast. Thank you Mel for all that you do, your team that aids in your content creation and the fantastic guests you feature every week. I'm currently working through childhood trauma that lasted a decade from different angles with different therapies. It's hard work and I believe I'll eventually put it to rest; podcasts like this that expertly explain how the brain and body works are immensely helpful. Thank you!💜🙏
I’m proud of you for jumping into action, you got the police boats there and any chance to rescue. Few years ago my dentist had a massive heart attack, fell over on me in dental chair, I got him to the floor, started compressions, talked to him, had receptionist call 911. Long story short, he didn’t make it . I can’t believe that happened. I’m grateful I was there for him, God knew he needed me. Talked with his wife after. Still wish I could have saved him. Drs said there was no way, but I gave him the only fighting chance. 🙏🏻❤️. Thank you for sharing your unimaginable and sad trauma. It’s helped me to remember that I did my best and I was there holding his hand when paramedics took over .
I just found a trauma informed therapist at age 50. Don't wait!!! I'm getting my brain "rewired" it's a little scary but this gives me so much hope! I know it will be hard but nothing worth it is ever easy xxoo
I’m really sorry you witnessed this tragic even. Please take care of yourself now so you don’t get PTSD. I still have nightmares 14 years after an event. They are horrible & still so real. I just wouldn’t want you to have to relive this for years. Looks like you have great support. Please take care. Thanks for this information. ❤ the way she explained the files. Very helpful. I will remember and use all this info ❤ 🙏
I totally needed this today! My dad passed away back in February, and my brother in law passed away in a house fire at the end of June. I've been struggling all this time.
I got stuck in a rip tide once years and years ago life guards had to come out and save me. My whole life has been one traumatic experiences after the next I shut down in life.
Approximately 20 years ago, I was at a river in my town, which me and my children spent many summer days at, and on this particular day my dad and stepmom were also there, visiting from out of state, when all of a sudden we witnessed an 11-year-old girl go under, at which time the mothers boyfriend who was in the distance, went underwater in an attempt to rescue her. This also ended in a recovery search where both of them didn’t survive, as the Mom witnessed her 11-year-old daughter and fiancé disappear under water before her eyes. It was traumatizing.
Mel, I just came across this podcast! What a blessing to have heard this and taking in this vital information. I had a dear client that became my friend commit suicide. Everyday I think of her and her kids. I know it traumatized me and live with it everyday no matter what I’m doing. This conversation gave me answers and relieved some questions as to why it has impacted me for so long. I have never really talked about it. Thank you for sharing this. I know I need to talk about it as well as other past trauma’s that have come up. Thank you Mel!
May we find hope, healing, & homeostasis. 🤟🏼 Brilliant episode, deeply needed. Redefine trauma & define “integration”. Let go of shame. No trauma Olympics (mine/yours is worse). Healing can be so difficult, and in the midst of it can feel impossible. So thankful for this brilliant guest, and thank you Mel for bringing this to light. ♥️
Wow, I'm balling my eyes out, this hit home big time, I've been working on myself, not realizing the need to work on other truma occurances. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the strength your providing us with to manage our issues throughout life. Thank you Mel. ❤
Getting very uncomfortable while listening to this episode. It’s painful, feel my chest getting heavy… Yes, thoughts, sounds, objects trigger the brain and body and takes you back to those traumatic experiences and it’s very hard to handle, I had feel that when I get trigger I start getting panic attack. I have done some self work and after 3 yrs of the most recent event I still get trigger very bad!😢 Thank you Mel for this episode
Thanks for sharing Mel. This will resonate with a lot of us. You're a beautiful person with a great heart. I love you! Your podcast channel found me 2 weeks ago during a mini meltdown. I jumped in a bath to de-stress and calm myself down, took my laptop in to watch TH-cam and no joke, one of your podcasts on the subject I was having meltdown over came up as a suggestion (phone must be listening to me talk to myself). Since then I have been enjoying many of your podcasts, they are helping me navigate and process the most stressful and rewarding time of my life. It is like being on a walk with with a friend, especially when she say fu*k.
I am overwhelmed and relieved at the same time listening to this podcast....LIFE CHANGING!!! I love science and to be able to understand how my body feels, my emotions and how these are interconnected with my brain function is going to change my life from this point forward. I am going to revisit my traumas and determine if I have really processed my fractionated files with the tools in this podcast. I cannot thank you both enough for this information....Love and peace ❤❤❤
Mel, really amazing job recapping what the doc said in a clear way. Thank you soo very much for this podcast. I took my dad off life support in January after a long journey on dialysis. This podcast has really helped me learn how to heal. Thank you so very much for all you do! ❤️
Thanks for sharing this one. I sent it to several friends and they all said it was very helpful and thanked me for sharing it. You are the best and I love this podcast. Your topics always hit home at the right time.
This podcast is very helpful to me. I have had so much loss and it helps me continue to get through. On August 20, 2018, our beautiful daughter Kayla took her life in our home. I gave her CPR to try to revive her but she was gone. It will be five years now. I am still triggered by seeing CPR and by the method in which she took her life. I have had some EMDR that has been helpful. So much has happened and I am trying to move from surviving to thriving. Helping other people helps me to help me through the pain. From Julie Rounds, Kayla’s Mom, fe 15 💜🦋💜
Thank you Mel for talking about your trauma which helps me deal with mine! Just recently, I learnt from my psychologist about fawning as the fourth alternative to the well know fight-flight-freeze response to trauma. As I had never heard about this before and still don't know much about it, I would love if you could talk about this in your podcast.
Great job 👏 this explains what I have been going through for the last few years and months. I will be sharing this with everyone. I’m sorry you had to go through this ordeal. May you integrate this experience quickly and easily. ❤
Thank you Mel & Dr.Mary Katherine Mel you are very empathetic you feel more deeply I found out few years back that I'm intuitive empath I couldn't understand why things affected me so much more than other people so I started researching it I have had a lot of trauma in my life this podcast really helped with the file box's and talking about it to lessen the the emotional feeling about it love & light to all ❤😍❤️🥰
Oh my goodness. How traumatic. Sending you hugs. I don’t want to share too much because, it’s so difficult & traumatic. But, watching my dad pass away in front of me. It’s something I can’t tell about in some days. Then watching my mom pass in front us is still very traumatic. Sorry, I can’t listen to this whole podcast it’s just too difficult. Peace.
I appreciate your sharing this..talking help s many people..As a retired paramedic/lifeguard/firefighter while i dealt with trauma quite often..too many co workers, especially men, refuse to talk about it or share with peers , cisd teams, counselors or even bartenders. They hold it in and one day they crack or self medicate ( drugs, alcohol, and food)...then one day they might even commit suicide. I have lost way too many first responder friends and co workers to long and short term suicide. We are even trained to process how we respond to trauma. As a lay person witnessing a drowning and feeling helpless had to be very traumatic for you Mel..once again thank you for sharing and having a specialist on.❤🙏
Mel, i also want to thank you for responding the way you did and calling 911. Even though the outcome was not what anyone wanted. The fact you tried and helped means alot. I tell all those first responders its never your fault when someone dies. You tried to help. Plus you are even more ready if ever called on to respond again. So thank you🙏
I love that you recognized your cat as your spiritual partner.❤...i completely agree with that sentiment. Pay no mind to heartless comments..i grieved the loss of my Frannie for years..i cried everyday for 3 years..and suffered greatly for years.. everyday was impossible to get through without her...my heartache never healed..but, i have since learned, that all animals,who are from the angelic spiritual realm,have exits points,as humans do..they are here to teach us our lessons and when that lesson is completed and learned..they leave. So have no guilt that you intervened...it was your kitty's exit point. Cats being highly evolved beings understand and know our intentions...they know how much we love them and how we never want to let them go.Take comfort in knowing that your kitty is alive, happy and well..keeping a watchful eye on you😽and waiting to be with you again. Spirit never dies,it just changes shape.🙏💖😺
I'm literally hanging onto every word Mel is saying and feeling horrible that she witnessed this then an ad with Tony Robbins big booming voice came on! What?!?!?!?!
I’m truly blown away how triggered I feel just from the conversation I buried four dogs and six people in the last few years needless to say, I have not dealt with any of it.
Mel, you're a mom and you were physically involved with the flag and call etc. You might be mourning how the family feels because you're so empathetic. Thanks for all you did for that family 😢
I was 12 years old, back in the 70s. I was walking down the street from our house going to a neighbors house. I saw a fire coming out of a utility room of a carport. I ran home to tell my dad and he called the fire department. Right before I took off running from the fire, I thought I heard a sound like a cat in distress. What I didn’t know was that 3 little boys were playing with matches in that utility room. They all died in that fire. My 12 year old self questioned everything I did and my reaction time. I wondered why I didn’t try to open the utility room. Maybe I should have turned on the hose and try to put out the fire. All kinds of crazy thoughts and blaming myself. Back then, not only wasn’t I offered counseling, but my parents blew it off quickly, and really didn’t talk about it with me. As an adult, I came to realize that my 12 year old self did plenty, but it haunted my childhood and teenage years. Honestly, I have more stories like that of that neighborhood and my childhood. Now I look at it as such a dark and depressing time. Now, I’m 62 and have had an amazing life with my husband for 40 years. That terrible childhood makes me realize when things are good, and i think I appreciate the good times more than others.
Where can I learn more about the “files” in the brain she talks about?? This will really help me. I will do some searching but if you have any recommendations on people, podcasts, you tube channels or books please let me know. Thank you ❤❤ Hope you’re doing better today.
Hello, my friend. Without diminishing what you're feeling or trying to fix anything, I want to remind you that you took action where others may have frozen. You called until you got through to emergency dispatch and INSISTED that those police boats be turned around and sent in the right direction. I can't think of anything else you could have done to give that person every chance. We'll love ya through this until you get your filing cabinets sorted. Can you turn this mess into a message by lobbying for improved cell service in that area? Better communications might help prevent another tragedy.
Thank you so much as it trauma and inner child therapist for high-profile email me there is nothing more profound and sharing each other stories of healing and transformation, and the reality of what it all looks like send stories like me. I love your mouth little you, adult you and your journey.
I believe even though we are all individuals we are all connected in someway in a higher supernatural way beyond what we can comprehend and understand on this plane. After death it is all clear.
Hey Mel, in terms of overcoming your almost bankruptcy and having talked about it and acknowledging that that has healed it, have you had a huge bill or the threat of losing something that has triggered again? I think unless the trauma has been “tested” and coming close to that with an event I think then you would know you have filed it away successfully? Just a thought….Great podcast topic!!
Hi Mel. For months I've wanted to reach out to you because of what this year has looked like for my family. My mom's cancer returned for the 3rd qns final time. Her sister was also battling cancer for 10 years. My oldee sister had a range of illnesses, both mental and physical. My sister was staying with mom and I so i took care of them and my 3 kids. My husband ttavels for work. 2/16: mom's brother in OH dies. 2/18: mom's sister wirh cancer dies qt home on hospice care. 2/26: my sister's daughter picks her up from our home to take her to her home, 2 hours away. My sister died of a sudden heart attack, in the car, on the side of the highway. 2 days later i put mom on hospice bc she stopped eating due to so much grief on top of her cancer. 4/4: mom dies at home.
I loved this episode, but there's one thing she says that I'd love to follow up on. My 9-year old has been having a lot of health anxiety. He gets stuck in trauma loops just based off of a troubling video, or something health-related mentioned in a movie, or a story his teacher told in class months ago. He also tends to focus really closely on anything health-related someone brings up, even if it isn't something that might happen to him. He hears about someone else going through a physical trauma of some sort and he immediately begins worrying there's something wrong with him. And it festers, over months, to where a minor thing, like the time of day, or a plate being set in front of him at dinner, triggers him to focus on whatever the health thing is he heard about. (He's been in therapy all summer and the process is slow, but I'm hopeful it's helping.) So, honestly, I DO feel as though we, as humans, can feel anxious and guilty when someone else is going through something physically traumatic, especially those of us who are oozing empathy to the point where it's painful. Sometimes it's difficult to draw a line between yours and someone else's experience, even if it's just a stubbed toe, or a papercut. It's difficult not to feel it, and often even more difficult to not believe the least you can do IS feel it...
Thank you Mel for all this precious information !! I'm so sorry.for this experience, I'm hugging you from Italy. ps There are also natural supplements that helps a lot with dealing with trauma that brings sadness, depression or physical pain: GABA, adaptogens, alpha lipoic acid, postbiotic and prebiotic helps a lot. because when you experience trauma or you have ptsd you tend to accumulate inflammation in the body and in your cells and keeping low the levels of inflammation and your microbioma healthy its a powerful help together with all the thing you and the Doc mentioned :)
In 1992 my fiance and friend since I was 8yr old. He shot himself. He had no way of knowing I was inside the house, locked by deadbolt key locks. In the country, it was hostage situation by my ex ,my 4yr old daughter. I was 24. It was 0 outside, when ambulance finally came , they finally let me in front of ambulance. Drove 55 for 45 minutes to wrong hospital not the trauma one closer. Happened at 9pm March. By 10am they basically said I had no say, and he's gone. There was no real help or where do I go ? Who do I talk to. Of course this is long and I remember every detail. I survive. I can't remember any of the best and good memories our whole life before that. Obviously I live and understand best I can what happened in him maybe set him over edge. I would love to remember things from before that night. There really wasn't any help , or mental health was acceptable. We were here from another state , now small town, everyone treated and looked at me with shame and must've been my fault. I've never blamed myself for that, I wish I wasn't a hostage, I could have let know we're in here! I thought he was going to kick door in, phones were yanked out of wall. Until I heard a gunshot. Then my ex unlocked the door!
Thank you. I needed this advice. I had to put my beloved cat down. He was my spiritual partner. I have grief and guilt, and I miss him very much. I feel very alone in this, as most people think; "it's only a cat."; I can feel people think, "Aren't you over this yet?" This podcast will help me take the steps to heal.
Until a person has a bond with an animal, they can say cruel, dismissive comments like that. As I get older, I prefer the company of animals over humans.
I am so sorry for your loss my deepest condolences to you
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤
A pet’s death is often more difficult than losing a human bc we’re losing that unconditional love. Most human love is conditional & pet love is always unconditional. Please do not undermine your grieving. I did not know unconditional love until I got my beloved pup. But guaranteed, your cat is still w you in another form of energy. Honor your mourning 💚😻💚
I’m so sorry! It is like losing a piece of your heart naturally. I had this conversation recently and said if anything out animals are the closest to us. When you have a child, typically they will spend a lot of time at school. If you work from home or spend a lot of time at home, you are spending so much time with your animal. The bond is very deep. I hope you remember all your beautiful precious moments together and it helps with your healing ❤️
@MseGg-tg3im Thank you so much. Your comments have made day. It was very insightful and comforting to me.
On the morning of July 19th, my husband and best friend of 17 years, had a heart attack in front of me. I immediately called 911 and performed CPR for about 10 minutes, until the paramedics arrived. They worked on him for about 10 more minutes and were able to get his heartbeat back just as they arrived at the hospital. My beautiful, sweet husband died the next night. The thing is, we were in the middle of auctioning our home, and everything we owned on August 3rd. We had always dreamed of moving to Italy when he retired and we rented an apartment in Southern Italy. Our flight is booked for September 4th. In the last few weeks, I've had to take care of everything related to his death, the auction, and everything else. I'm sitting in an empty house right now, trying to pack my bags for the trip I intend to keep. I haven't processed his death. I am so numb. I'm alone and sad. I just keep listening to Mel's podcasts, because she makes me feel like someone is in my corner. I'm not afraid of the future. I'm carrying on with our dream. I'll be okay.... It's the present that I'm having trouble with.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.❤
Can’t imagine what you’re going through right now…so sorry for your loss. How old was your husband? Moving to Italy is my dream as well. Wishing you the best. Take comfort.
@@helenharber1680 Thank you
@CrystallyLavender He was 64. We spent 5 weeks in a small hamlet in the Cilento National Park this past spring and fell in love with the people there. We were finally happy.
I am so so sorry for your loss! My twin sister also lost her husband almost the same way as you but her husband died in the ambulance he was 55, she was numb for so long!
I honor your COURAGE, STRENGTH and choice to carry on, SELF LOVE will help you!!
BLESSINGS TO YOU!!!
🙏🏻🙏🏻✨♥️✨🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am married to a first responder who has seen horrific trauma through his 20+ career. I always feel guilty when I encounter something that would be considered a “small” trauma and it effects me and I just swallow it down. I don’t know how first responders do it but I can tell you, being the wife of one, you see the lack of support in the agency’s and how this trickles down to the wives and kids. I am so glad you are doing a video like this. It is very much appreciated and is a great stepping stone for those seeking to find a healing path.
Thank you for addressing this. I was involved in a motorcycle accident this summer (about two months ago) and my friend and lover didn't make it. On top of my own severe injuries from the accident, I am dealing with the loss of my friend and our potential future together. I do have a trauma therapist, but I am still searching for info to help me deal with this impossible mess. Every day is a challenge. I feel this insane need to talk about the accident all the time. I see now that I need to be a little kinder to myself and understand that my mind is still trying to process this trauma. Talking is good. My mind and body are telling me that it is trying to process the event. It's not about obsessing about the event, but rather about trying to heal and find meaning in my emotions and the events I witnessed. Thank you, Mel! You rock!
Thank you for sharing what you did. I too am dealing with layers of loss and catastrophe that blasted me out of who I really am. But I'm working on faith and processing through writing, Higher Power, and creativity as a lifeline. Much love.
Love, peace, and healing to you ❤
This was so wonderful. A little over a year ago, my teenage daughter and I found my brother dead in our home. I'm a 911 operator, and for a very long time, I literally fought panic attacks at work. Both my baby and I got help. Understanding what is going on in our brains has helped so much. It's a slow process, but we are trying to do exactly what she's talking about. I would love to try EMDR. It's often not covered. ❤
I lost my orange furbaby in April. I am still heartbroken. May all who have lost someone or a furry someone..may you all feel some peace and love. I believe that they are all watching over all of us.
Beautiful. Thank you Mel for being so open. So sorry you went thru and are going thru this. I so needed this podcast right now. I’m working thru serious PTSD right now from an event that happened 20 years ago. So needed to hear “the trauma response is a sign of your survival, not that you are broken!” Wow! Sending much love to you! Arm around your shoulder.
This was SO incredible! It's the first time I've ever understood why I can't get certain experiences out my head, why different people emotionally react to traumas so differently, why I feel shame about my feelings (and why not to), and how to process it. Want to share this with the whole world! Thank you to you both xxx AND a big hug to you Mel, for your own experience that prompted this recording.
As a young teen I witnessed a car accident at an intersection by my home. I heard an unfamiliar, horrible sound of the impact and crunch of metal and then a woman screaming for help for her baby. It is something I remember often in my life especially after having a child. An insurance agent came to our home for my statement and then we never spoke about it again in our family. I didn't have the tools to process this as a young person. That day that woman lost a child and I still think of her and what that must have done to the rest of her life.
Thank you Mel ❤, I really needed to see this podcast about “Trauma.” All this time I have been holding it in and when I did try to talk about it, no one wanted to take the time to really hear what I had to say. I now know that I have been reaching out to the wrong people. I really need to see a psychologist who can help me, tell my story of the way it needs to be told in order to heal not only my mind mentally, but my overall body, and soul. I’m just fresh out of living a traumatic experience, and I’m tired of my family telling me just to get over it. They were not there in my shoes when I was sent to a hospice on Oct 16th, 21, and given only 2-3 months to live at the age of 44. I was surrounded by people that I got close to that were literally dying left and right. Well the good news from all this is that I survived, how 🤷♀️, I still don’t know till this day. On Dec 22nd/22, I was finally able to return home to my 3 children. I’m beyond grateful for a second chance at life, but I feel I still have not dealt with the trauma that I have witnessed while my stay at the Hospice. The Dr’s, nurses, care workers, could not believe what they were witnessing when they finally said their goodbyes to me not by dying, but by wishing me well as I was leaving the facility to go home 🏠 to my children ALIVE. They all said it was a miracle, cause they never see anyone leave a hospice like they witnessed that day with me. I’m very grateful, and so beyond thankful to be home with my children, & family. But the trauma I went through still haunts me, & it’s time to take action to file that memory in a healthy way, so I can live the best life I can with my 3 beautiful children.
Love you Mel ❤❤❤
❤❤❤Love & Wisdom for you!! ❤❤❤
My FIL was given 6 mos. To live & we (his granddaughter & I) moved in with him & his wife & their 2:sons.
🎉🎉🎉He lived for 22 More Years!!🎉🎉🎉. His Dr's were amazed! They laughed & kindly harassed him about "your not supposed to be here" ❤❤❤ God has a Larger Plan for you!! 🎉🎉🎉Celebrate with your children!! 🎉🎉🎉 I have been in similar situations & that's why I "get" you!!
💞💞💞💞Blessings & Let Your Healing continue!!💞💞💞💞
❤❤❤
Wow! That sounds like such a gift and so painful at the same time! I hope you can put the pieces together to make this experience a less difficult memory. Take the time & care you need for yourself!
@@michellet796 Hi Michelle, thank you🤗❤️I count my blessings each day. Honestly I really believe that my 3 children pulled me through. My mom had brought me a picture frame with all of their pictures when they were just babies. Each day when I woke up I would stare at their pictures on the wall and I would cry and just kept saying to myself that I need to get back to my babies. I prayed 🙏 everyday for some kind of miracle to get back home. It was special when I returned home cause it was 3 days before Christmas 🎄 and I surprised my kids on Dec 22,2022. Words can’t express the looks on their faces, and emotions. It truly was a miracle. I know longer take life for granted. Also I have secondary progressive MS, and I have to cherish whatever ever time I have left, but the trauma I went through while being in the Hospice and seeing so many people die really affected me terribly. After watching Mel’s podcast it made me realize that I really need to get some help to deal with this issue in order to live a more abundant life with my 3 beautiful children. I will be turning 46 in December and I hope to have many more. Sending you lots of love ❤️ and hugs 🤗 Have a beautiful night ❤️❤️❤️
This was brilliant. I loved how Mel reframed and reiterated the points made by Dr. Mary Kathleen. Definitely a must-see (and very healing) episode for many people.
Mel, I feel you and Dr. Mary Katherine just took my hand and brought me to the front of the "line". Three weeks ago I lost my (adult, but) younger brother to suicide. The shock and trauma has me staggering around in excruciating emotional pain, guilt, shame, and a planet of regret sitting on my heart. This podcast gave me step 1 on what I'm certain is a long road, but boy do I appreciate these road signs. With gratitude, Diane
❤️🩹 so Sorry
Thank you Mel for sharing this story and providing insight from the expert. I had a similar experience when I was in the subway and a woman jumped in front of our train. Luckily my intuition told me to sit on the bench, therefore I did not see her jump. Possibly worse is that this special woman warned the crowd to "Look away" and chose to jump on a Sunday evening, when the subway was quiet. Her words are seared into my brain. Although I tried to find more information about the woman, the police would not release the information. Was this thoughtful woman married, was she alone, could I have prevented her death if I had not sat on the bench? I have filed this memory away except for when I am at the station in which the person died. Love to you Mel.
🙏
This time last year my mom said 'Amber I can't breath'!
Her eyes rolled back then she had a heart attack and died in that moment.
I still can't get over witnessing my mom, my best friend, die right in front of me.
I already suffer from complex PTSD from childhood trauma and now my brain is really fried.
I still can't remember anything from before that day. The shock and trauma has changed me forever. The nightmares I have every night wakes my up with such a jolt. The feeling of being abandoned or left behind is deep. I can only hope time will heal the wounds this trauma has left in my soul.
I simply cannot imagine how that impacted you. Stay strong fellow warr;or
@@KingJames_iv
Thank you for the kind words.
The hardest part for me was thinking I could have saved her. I know now it was truly her time and I was there to let her know 'it's ok, I'll be ok, go home to dad'.
I had my "come to Jesus" and the Dark night of the soul moments all at the same time.
Time heals.
Slowly but surly we must move forward.🩷
This has hurt my heart. I cannot imagine dealing with that 🥺😢sending love xxx
This has been the best 51 minutes invested in my life and I am not exaggerating.
This couldn’t have come up at a better time.
Thank you Mel Robbins and Dr Catherine ❤️
I love this universe. I’m in trauma therapy finally and I’m reading “the body keeps the score” and this wonderful podcast episode ‘appears’. This topic is incredibly important. Thank you!!
That book is extremely helpful for all- you would never think how events in your past shape your future. It certainly explains a lot!
What is the episode “appears”?
Thank you, Mel. I’ve been following you since you came on on Tom’s podcast, and I’ve been waiting for you to cover trauma (from the Mel perspective). The way you have with words, and the guests you speak with, connect with me in such a deeper way than anything else I’ve found. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all you do each and every day. You have been my guiding light and my mentor through the last 5 years, the absolute hardest of my life. And every day, you continue to bring light and hope to so many of us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 💜💜💜
Oh Mel….. I truly understand how you feel! I lived in a high rise and I was on the phone facing out into the woods when all of a sudden I see something falling down fast, it was a lady who jumped off our building so naturally I went out to my balcony and looked down and I saw her laying on the ground no blood, she was looking up and it looked like ANGELS laid her down peacefully and NOT twisted or distorted it was surreal, I remember seeing her wearing bright red lipstick!
I stood there in shock I couldn’t move, I remember PRAYING that God Forgave her and take her into heave!
And that very moment I remember being in that much pain that I “ wrote” a goodbye letter from my PAIN of my long divorce & dealing with my NARCISSIST ex husband making my LIFE HELL because I said NO MORE!!
I DEEPLY APPRECIATE you sharing such a TOUGH and IMPORTANT Subject, TRAUMA!
Mel your helplessness is from being a MOM, WE Mom’s are natural RESCUERS and HELPERS …. MOM MODE kicks in, it’s hard wired into our bodies as CHILD BEARERS!!!
Mel you are such a INSPIRATION, THANK YOU!!!
I send you so much LOVE, LIGHT, HUGS and BLESSINGS!
You are NOT ALONE!!!
🙏🏻🙏🏻✨💝✨♥️✨💝✨🙏🏻🙏🏻
I thought the same, it's the Mom part in us, imagining what if that were my family, thus going to her son's bed ❤
Even if you weren’t blessed with children that you tried very hard to have you still can be in “Mom Mode” . This comment is upsetting.
Just wanted you to know you don’t have to be a Mom to have these instincts and reactions the same way. Please don’t count us out we are all going to be empathetic in this way. If you have it in you Mom or not. ♥️
@@frankhildebrand6131 I wasn't counting out the Mom instinct from someone who hasn't given birth... That wasn't even in the conversation, and I don't take that stance at all. I have childless women AND men friends who are as "mamna bear" PROTECTIVE instict with kiddos/animals/ etc as any of us!
I was referring to her statement SHE crawled into bed with HER son, THAT was my clue, and I identify from having the same sort of response with my own son in a similar situation.
However, truly... Due to the fact my comment triggered you to HEAR it that way and you state it is hurtful as if it has anything about you/your situation, it sounds like you may have unresolved trauma around this very subject and how it has played out in YOUR life. Fortunately the whole video lays out the path of how to resolve it. I wish for you that the subject is no longer a trigger for pain within you, that you can put the files in their right resting place. 💚
@@frankhildebrand6131 …. My comment about Momma Bear Mode did NOT exclude anyone! I sense you feel very wounded about that!
My comment was directed at Moms who carry babies, obviously your a man so this could NEVER relate to you! However you could relate to Papa Bear Mode and I believe any loving human can connect to this to
“ Save the child” emotion if they are a dad or not!
So please understand my COMMENT was NOT to trigger anyone, just a observation coming from a loving sympathetic place!
I wish you peace in your healing!
🙏🏻🙏🏻✨💙✨🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@Maggie1111-sq6rddon’t explain yourself. You weee coming from a good place. Your heart. Sorry for your trauma. I’m glad you did not see her in an awful way and that she looked peaceful 😢❤
Thank you Mel for this episode & sharing. I live with trauma everyday and trying to walk through it alone is overwhelming. Thank you for taking the walk with me today.
A million Thank YOU’S Dr Mary Catherine your explanation is SO SO HELPFUL! I have been in therapy for over 45 yrs, NEVER have I heard TRAUMA being explained this way!
My youngest son a Navy Vet was 6 yrs old when we started our 8 yr divorce war, today 29 yrs later, he is starving himself from the TRAUMA he has experienced over the years & from his father doing something horrible to him ,which triggered his trauma again just before COVID, then my son isolated and NOW he is NOT eating, he is down 65 lbs!
🙏🏻🙏🏻I will use this POWERFUL INFO to try and help him LIVE! This Momma Bear is desperate to save her baby, my youngest son!💔😥💔
Game changer….. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!
In gratitude with blessings!!!
🙏🏻🙏🏻✨♥️✨🙏🏻🙏🏻
Mel, l don't think l have cried so much from a Podcast. You have helped me to understand the years of pain from traumatic experiences involving my family. The trauma of silence, abandonment, feeling shame and suffering in silence. When you voice your feelings, you get the past is the past by those you love. Thank you, thank you for giving me the tools and sharing your journey. I am so grateful for you.
PS Saw your podcast on ADD. I too have suffered not knowing l had it. 73 yrs. of feeling "what is wrong with me?"
💘💘
Rachaelle
Awwww Mel 😢 Just listened to this podcast and wanted to give you big hug at the very end of it! I’m working on healing from childhood trauma. It’s hard work but it’s very rewarding. My nervous system has never been so regulated before. It’s weird but good :) I wish you luck in dealing with this recent trauma you experienced. Keep up the great work! I look forward to your episodes. I listen twice a week, every week :)
Thank you, Mel, for all you do to help others. The memory will be etched in your mind forever. But as time goes on, it will get easier. The reason it affected you and not others is because you and I are empaths! I suffered from PTSD for a year. I lived in a duplex. My neighbors were a young couple in their 30's with 3 small children. Long story short, she left him and took the kids. He hung himself in our shared basement. I had to go for counseling for 8 months. I was the last person to see and speak to him. He and I chatted the night before. He seemed positive and said he was going to do everything to get his family back. The guilt was hard, I thought, did I miss any sign. If I had known, I would have done everything in my power to prevent it. I have a daughter the same age. It was helpful to talk about it, but I was afraid people would think I was bringing negative energy. I had to live in that house for 8 months after. I was hyper vigilant, scared, I felt alone. I lost weight and had to go on anxiety medicine. I thank God that I only think about it on the anniversary of that day, which is 5 years ago. God bless you Mel, hang in there, I promise it will get better. 🙏 🩷
I have so much gratitude for this podcast. Thank you Mel for all that you do, your team that aids in your content creation and the fantastic guests you feature every week. I'm currently working through childhood trauma that lasted a decade from different angles with different therapies. It's hard work and I believe I'll eventually put it to rest; podcasts like this that expertly explain how the brain and body works are immensely helpful. Thank you!💜🙏
I’m proud of you for jumping into action, you got the police boats there and any chance to rescue. Few years ago my dentist had a massive heart attack, fell over on me in dental chair, I got him to the floor, started compressions, talked to him, had receptionist call 911. Long story short, he didn’t make it . I can’t believe that happened. I’m grateful I was there for him, God knew he needed me. Talked with his wife after. Still wish I could have saved him. Drs said there was no way, but I gave him the only fighting chance. 🙏🏻❤️. Thank you for sharing your unimaginable and sad trauma. It’s helped me to remember that I did my best and I was there holding his hand when paramedics took over .
I'm so, so sorry for your loss , In this life it's been trauma my whole life and I know the feeling . Mel has REALLY helped me.
I just found a trauma informed therapist at age 50. Don't wait!!! I'm getting my brain "rewired" it's a little scary but this gives me so much hope! I know it will be hard but nothing worth it is ever easy xxoo
I am having trouble finding a trauma specialist. Can you offer any recommendations?
@shweetiepetina1563 it's hard! What state do you live in?
@@reginacabonilas6001 Michigan
I’m really sorry you witnessed this tragic even. Please take care of yourself now so you don’t get PTSD. I still have nightmares 14 years after an event. They are horrible & still so real. I just wouldn’t want you to have to relive this for years. Looks like you have great support. Please take care. Thanks for this information. ❤ the way she explained the files. Very helpful. I will remember and use all this info ❤ 🙏
I totally needed this today! My dad passed away back in February, and my brother in law passed away in a house fire at the end of June. I've been struggling all this time.
I got stuck in a rip tide once years and years ago life guards had to come out and save me. My whole life has been one traumatic experiences after the next
I shut down in life.
Approximately 20 years ago, I was at a river in my town, which me and my children spent many summer days at, and on this particular day my dad and stepmom were also there, visiting from out of state, when all of a sudden we witnessed an 11-year-old girl go under, at which time the mothers boyfriend who was in the distance, went underwater in an attempt to rescue her. This also ended in a recovery search where both of them didn’t survive, as the Mom witnessed her 11-year-old daughter and fiancé disappear under water before her eyes. It was traumatizing.
Thank you, Mel. You are changing the world for the better.
Mel, I just came across this podcast! What a blessing to have heard this and taking in this vital information. I had a dear client that became my friend commit suicide. Everyday I think of her and her kids. I know it traumatized me and live with it everyday no matter what I’m doing. This conversation gave me answers and relieved some questions as to why it has impacted me for so long. I have never really talked about it. Thank you for sharing this. I know I need to talk about it as well as other past trauma’s that have come up. Thank you Mel!
May we find hope, healing, & homeostasis. 🤟🏼 Brilliant episode, deeply needed. Redefine trauma & define “integration”. Let go of shame. No trauma Olympics (mine/yours is worse). Healing can be so difficult, and in the midst of it can feel impossible. So thankful for this brilliant guest, and thank you Mel for bringing this to light. ♥️
Wow, I'm balling my eyes out, this hit home big time, I've been working on myself, not realizing the need to work on other truma occurances. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the strength your providing us with to manage our issues throughout life. Thank you Mel. ❤
So much good information! Parents need this!! Everyone needs this!! ❤
Soooo Excellent and this helps me to understand all my traumas and triggers… how beautiful and brave we are! Thank you Mel and Dr. Many blessings!
Getting very uncomfortable while listening to this episode. It’s painful, feel my chest getting heavy… Yes, thoughts, sounds, objects trigger the brain and body and takes you back to those traumatic experiences and it’s very hard to handle, I had feel that when I get trigger I start getting panic attack. I have done some self work and after 3 yrs of the most recent event I still get trigger very bad!😢
Thank you Mel for this episode
Thanks for sharing Mel. This will resonate with a lot of us. You're a beautiful person with a great heart. I love you! Your podcast channel found me 2 weeks ago during a mini meltdown. I jumped in a bath to de-stress and calm myself down, took my laptop in to watch TH-cam and no joke, one of your podcasts on the subject I was having meltdown over came up as a suggestion (phone must be listening to me talk to myself). Since then I have been enjoying many of your podcasts, they are helping me navigate and process the most stressful and rewarding time of my life. It is like being on a walk with with a friend, especially when she say fu*k.
I am overwhelmed and relieved at the same time listening to this podcast....LIFE CHANGING!!! I love science and to be able to understand how my body feels, my emotions and how these are interconnected with my brain function is going to change my life from this point forward. I am going to revisit my traumas and determine if I have really processed my fractionated files with the tools in this podcast. I cannot thank you both enough for this information....Love and peace ❤❤❤
One of the best podcasts you have done. Thank you. I love you! Be well.
Thanks Mel and Dr MacDonald, so appreciated and so incredibly helpful to heal
Mel, really amazing job recapping what the doc said in a clear way. Thank you soo very much for this podcast. I took my dad off life support in January after a long journey on dialysis. This podcast has really helped me learn how to heal. Thank you so very much for all you do! ❤️
To process and not block it out
Thanks for sharing this one. I sent it to several friends and they all said it was very helpful and thanked me for sharing it. You are the best and I love this podcast. Your topics always hit home at the right time.
Wow. I needed to hear this. I appreciate your existence as well as your willingness to share and open up to people!
This podcast is very helpful to me. I have had so much loss and it helps me continue to get through. On August 20, 2018, our beautiful daughter Kayla took her life in our home. I gave her CPR to try to revive her but she was gone. It will be five years now. I am still triggered by seeing CPR and by the method in which she took her life. I have had some EMDR that has been helpful. So much has happened and I am trying to move from surviving to thriving. Helping other people helps me to help me through the pain. From Julie Rounds, Kayla’s Mom, fe 15 💜🦋💜
Oh mama, no parent should have to go through that. Sending you prayers and love 🩶
❤❤❤ Thank you Mel 💜💜💜
Thank you Mel for talking about your trauma which helps me deal with mine!
Just recently, I learnt from my psychologist about fawning as the fourth alternative to the well know fight-flight-freeze response to trauma. As I had never heard about this before and still don't know much about it, I would love if you could talk about this in your podcast.
Great job 👏 this explains what I have been going through for the last few years and months. I will be sharing this with everyone. I’m sorry you had to go through this ordeal. May you integrate this experience quickly and easily. ❤
Thanks Mel & Dr. Catherine
Super useful, thank you.
Thanks Mel and Dr. Mary-Katherine. Very helpful!!! Love and Hugs to you both!!!
“SHAME” 🎯 this spoke to me in ways I cannot express here.
I read your comment just as she was saying it.
The only shame I feel is on people for being so judgemental when they had no right to be . Nope not ok.
Thank you Mel & Dr.Mary Katherine Mel you are very empathetic you feel more deeply I found out few years back that I'm intuitive empath I couldn't understand why things affected me so much more than other people so I started researching it I have had a lot of trauma in my life this podcast really helped with the file box's and talking about it to lessen the the emotional feeling about it love & light to all ❤😍❤️🥰
Thanks Mel
This helps getting through the dark moments in life.
🙏🌈🌴
Mel.
Does the work of connecting us all.
Mel thanks for sharing your story and experience.
Thank you for the share I love how our traumatic events is explained in lamens term of fragmented files trying to find a proper cabinet to fit❤️
I so needed this! Thank you💕
Love you Mel, thanks for sharing, a big hug for you❤
Oh my goodness. How traumatic. Sending you hugs. I don’t want to share too much because, it’s so difficult & traumatic. But, watching my dad pass away in front of me. It’s something I can’t tell about in some days. Then watching my mom pass in front us is still very traumatic. Sorry, I can’t listen to this whole podcast it’s just too difficult. Peace.
Horrible to be sucked out into a rip.. I lived near traffic lights and accidents were traumatic. 😢 it's healthy to feel n heal
Amazing. Thank you to both of you for sharing this helpful information 🩷
I appreciate your sharing this..talking help s many people..As a retired paramedic/lifeguard/firefighter while i dealt with trauma quite often..too many co workers, especially men, refuse to talk about it or share with peers , cisd teams, counselors or even bartenders. They hold it in and one day they crack or self medicate ( drugs, alcohol, and food)...then one day they might even commit suicide. I have lost way too many first responder friends and co workers to long and short term suicide. We are even trained to process how we respond to trauma. As a lay person witnessing a drowning and feeling helpless had to be very traumatic for you Mel..once again thank you for sharing and having a specialist on.❤🙏
Mel, i also want to thank you for responding the way you did and calling 911. Even though the outcome was not what anyone wanted. The fact you tried and helped means alot. I tell all those first responders its never your fault when someone dies. You tried to help. Plus you are even more ready if ever called on to respond again. So thank you🙏
God bless you and your family and for sharing this with us!!! ❤💕🌹
Such a great and needed podcast! Much thanks!
My baby is my dog and if ever it had to be me or him honestly I would get him safe … as a furdaddy I think it’s what any parent would do
I love that you recognized your cat as your spiritual partner.❤...i completely agree with that sentiment. Pay no mind to heartless comments..i grieved the loss of my Frannie for years..i cried everyday for 3 years..and suffered greatly for years.. everyday was impossible to get through without her...my heartache never healed..but, i have since learned, that all animals,who are from the angelic spiritual realm,have exits points,as humans do..they are here to teach us our lessons and when that lesson is completed and learned..they leave. So have no guilt that you intervened...it was your kitty's exit point. Cats being highly evolved beings understand and know our intentions...they know how much we love them and how we never want to let them go.Take comfort in knowing that your kitty is alive, happy and well..keeping a watchful eye on you😽and waiting to be with you again. Spirit never dies,it just changes shape.🙏💖😺
Happy 2M Subscribers Mel!
thank you for helping a lot of people with your amazing content! ❤️
This podcast was amazing!
Thank you. 🖐
I wanted to quit the video😢 listening to it was TOUGH Thank you Thank you Thank you.
I'm literally hanging onto every word Mel is saying and feeling horrible that she witnessed this then an ad with Tony Robbins big booming voice came on! What?!?!?!?!
Mel we love you too.
I’m truly blown away how triggered I feel just from the conversation I buried four dogs and six people in the last few years needless to say, I have not dealt with any of it.
Thanks 😊 Mel this was so refreshing..
Love you too Mel! ❤
Hvala!
You did all you could do Mel ❤
Mel, you're a mom and you were physically involved with the flag and call etc. You might be mourning how the family feels because you're so empathetic. Thanks for all you did for that family 😢
I was 12 years old, back in the 70s. I was walking down the street from our house going to a neighbors house. I saw a fire coming out of a utility room of a carport. I ran home to tell my dad and he called the fire department.
Right before I took off running from the fire, I thought I heard a sound like a cat in distress.
What I didn’t know was that 3 little boys were playing with matches in that utility room.
They all died in that fire.
My 12 year old self questioned everything I did and my reaction time.
I wondered why I didn’t try to open the utility room. Maybe I should have turned on the hose and try to put out the fire. All kinds of crazy thoughts and blaming myself.
Back then, not only wasn’t I offered counseling, but my parents blew it off quickly, and really didn’t talk about it with me.
As an adult, I came to realize that my 12 year old self did plenty, but it haunted my childhood and teenage years.
Honestly, I have more stories like that of that neighborhood and my childhood.
Now I look at it as such a dark and depressing time.
Now, I’m 62 and have had an amazing life with my husband for 40 years.
That terrible childhood makes me realize when things are good, and i think I appreciate the good times more than others.
Thanks!
Thanks, this was really informative and helpful to my own circumstances. 👍🇺🇸😊
Great episode, so many nuggets to use for healing. did anyone else get distracted by the open drawers in the background, im so nosy lol
Where can I learn more about the “files” in the brain she talks about?? This will really help me. I will do some searching but if you have any recommendations on people, podcasts, you tube channels or books please let me know. Thank you ❤❤ Hope you’re doing better today.
I love you. You are wonderful
Hello, my friend. Without diminishing what you're feeling or trying to fix anything, I want to remind you that you took action where others may have frozen. You called until you got through to emergency dispatch and INSISTED that those police boats be turned around and sent in the right direction. I can't think of anything else you could have done to give that person every chance. We'll love ya through this until you get your filing cabinets sorted. Can you turn this mess into a message by lobbying for improved cell service in that area? Better communications might help prevent another tragedy.
Thank you so much as it trauma and inner child therapist for high-profile email me there is nothing more profound and sharing each other stories of healing and transformation, and the reality of what it all looks like send stories like me. I love your mouth little you, adult you and your journey.
I believe even though we are all individuals we are all connected in someway in a higher supernatural way beyond what we can comprehend and understand on this plane. After death it is all clear.
I agree! Just recently discovered The Law of One and had a major awakening after 50 years. It brings so much peace.
Yes, that's why she's feeling this inspired of the fact that she doesn't personally doesn't know the victim. You are very insightful.
Hey Mel, in terms of overcoming your almost bankruptcy and having talked about it and acknowledging that that has healed it, have you had a huge bill or the threat of losing something that has triggered again? I think unless the trauma has been “tested” and coming close to that with an event I think then you would know you have filed it away successfully? Just a thought….Great podcast topic!!
If you can’t feel it, you can’t heal it. Feeling it is an important part of the process.
Soooo soooooo good!!!!❤
Hi Mel. For months I've wanted to reach out to you because of what this year has looked like for my family. My mom's cancer returned for the 3rd qns final time. Her sister was also battling cancer for 10 years. My oldee sister had a range of illnesses, both mental and physical.
My sister was staying with mom and I so i took care of them and my 3 kids. My husband ttavels for work.
2/16: mom's brother in OH dies.
2/18: mom's sister wirh cancer dies qt home on hospice care.
2/26: my sister's daughter picks her up from our home to take her to her home, 2 hours away. My sister died of a sudden heart attack, in the car, on the side of the highway.
2 days later i put mom on hospice bc she stopped eating due to so much grief on top of her cancer.
4/4: mom dies at home.
❤
I loved this episode, but there's one thing she says that I'd love to follow up on. My 9-year old has been having a lot of health anxiety. He gets stuck in trauma loops just based off of a troubling video, or something health-related mentioned in a movie, or a story his teacher told in class months ago. He also tends to focus really closely on anything health-related someone brings up, even if it isn't something that might happen to him. He hears about someone else going through a physical trauma of some sort and he immediately begins worrying there's something wrong with him. And it festers, over months, to where a minor thing, like the time of day, or a plate being set in front of him at dinner, triggers him to focus on whatever the health thing is he heard about. (He's been in therapy all summer and the process is slow, but I'm hopeful it's helping.) So, honestly, I DO feel as though we, as humans, can feel anxious and guilty when someone else is going through something physically traumatic, especially those of us who are oozing empathy to the point where it's painful. Sometimes it's difficult to draw a line between yours and someone else's experience, even if it's just a stubbed toe, or a papercut. It's difficult not to feel it, and often even more difficult to not believe the least you can do IS feel it...
I’m having a stuck place about people’s losses in Lahaina.
get EMDR
It gave me a life I would never have.
I am just thinking about all the folks on Maui and how traumatized they must be.
Thank you Mel for all this precious information !! I'm so sorry.for this experience, I'm hugging you from Italy. ps There are also natural supplements that helps a lot with dealing with trauma that brings sadness, depression or physical pain: GABA, adaptogens, alpha lipoic acid, postbiotic and prebiotic helps a lot. because when you experience trauma or you have ptsd you tend to accumulate inflammation in the body and in your cells and keeping low the levels of inflammation and your microbioma healthy its a powerful help together with all the thing you and the Doc mentioned :)
In 1992 my fiance and friend since I was 8yr old. He shot himself. He had no way of knowing I was inside the house, locked by deadbolt key locks. In the country, it was hostage situation by my ex ,my 4yr old daughter. I was 24. It was 0 outside, when ambulance finally came , they finally let me in front of ambulance. Drove 55 for 45 minutes to wrong hospital not the trauma one closer. Happened at 9pm March. By 10am they basically said I had no say, and he's gone. There was no real help or where do I go ? Who do I talk to. Of course this is long and I remember every detail. I survive. I can't remember any of the best and good memories our whole life before that. Obviously I live and understand best I can what happened in him maybe set him over edge. I would love to remember things from before that night. There really wasn't any help , or mental health was acceptable. We were here from another state , now small town, everyone treated and looked at me with shame and must've been my fault. I've never blamed myself for that, I wish I wasn't a hostage, I could have let know we're in here! I thought he was going to kick door in, phones were yanked out of wall. Until I heard a gunshot. Then my ex unlocked the door!
I'm wondering what could I do now?
What is long term/short term suicide?