After many years of working in bereavement and grief and loss counseling, this much I know for sure. 1.None of us grieve the same. 2.There’s no timetable for grief. 3. You NEVER get over it! You learn to get through it and how to cope. 4. People who tell you “I know how you feel” really don’t unless they have experienced a loss like yours. 5. You need people who will be good listeners, not who want to give you advice. 6. You need to get help. Grief support groups are very effective and help you to realize that you’re not the only person who has lost a loved one. 7. Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself. Prayers for all of you who are on their grief journey. Things will get better. God Bless🙏🏻
I have not yet met someone wanting to give me advice. Folks are for the most part thoughtful. If they want to take me out for a meal, I will go and I will pay for the meal. But then I am okay alone too. I will be boring to be around others. However I say, grief is mind numbing; I go through the days by doing simple things--shopping grocery, driving around, pulling grass, digging out and replanting, watering plants, anything that does not require serious thinking. I sob easily around others too; so that is the end for socializing with others. He is in my head.....
@@Missusri You are like most people who have lost a loved one, I believe that you lost your spouse. Grief is a journey, not a destination. We all grieve differently. People who say that they understand what you’re going through really don’t unless they have lost a loved one. And even then each death loss is different. Allow people to offer to help get you out. You can say no, but try not to stay isolated for too long. People will be awkward and not know what to say, they don’t want to hurt you and bring you anymore pain. Crying is healthy!! You need to release your tears and it will help your healing process. I pray you will find some hope, and you will have peace in your life again someday soon ❤️🙏🏻
Time doesn’t help us heal. It only gives us distance between the traumatic event and ourselves to build the coping skills we need to keep breathing. That’s it. It never really stops hurting, but perspectives change.
Grief is normal. And you're supposed to have it. I don't want my grief "cured". Those I lost were invaluable to me. And my grief is a testament to what they meant.
YES! This is what I say! 3 weeks 2 days since Mom left. Everytime I can get past the shock to cry, I'm so happy and relieved. She is WORTH MISSING AND REMEMBERING SWEETLY FOREVER. Forever.
@@bethyourcoach4910 you do not know what your loved ones want us to do when we grief... He and I sometimes talked about our demise and how we would feel; we said to each other we would be broken up to pieces..... I am alone now with the memory of him...
Grief is just love with nowhere to go. And how blessed are we to have had something so wonderful that it seems impossible to say goodbye. Cheers from Country Victoria, Australia.
Thanks for the Encouragement. I lost my beloved only Sister Barbara 2019 after my Birthday, l didn't get to say goodbye that hurt my heart 💔. I will pray for God's Grace and peace to get me through this difficult time and Journey.
For anyone that says she's speaking very fast, you can slow her down on Settings, change the Playback Speed to 0.75 or whatever you choose. This helped.
I lost my bf soon to be fiance . i saved this video months ago but too hard to watch. But today i went to the gym and as im on the elliptical...you said yhe cure to grief is MOTION. thank you for reassuring me that me moving forward is ok after 1 and a half years of staying home.
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my son jersey on may 24th 2020 during lockdown on a car accident he just turned 22 on his birthday, got hit by a drunk truck driver, that was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 13yr old daughter is my everything and the reason I keep strong, my late wife passed away 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866678266 or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
I needed this. Rest in peace my sweet mama, how I ache for you, I’m tired of hearing it’s early days, this agony is forever. Rest in peace my brothers. 💗💗💗
Grief tracks us all down eventually. It is tenacious and relentless. Fortunately for you, somebody needed what you had, and you rose to the occasion. Through our most difficult lessons comes our most brilliant revelations. Too bad it has to be that way, but it seems to be true.
My mother died of cancer in late 2016. My wife died, still young and very suddenly, of a freak kidney infection two months later. Dealing with the resulting grief has been inexplicably awful. Casey makes some very good points and I believe that there are healthy ways to mitigate and address grief. In my opinion, she could toss the word, "cure."
This talk is a great example of how differently we grieve. We all have different thinking and decision making processes, why would it be different with grief? There is no one way to deal with grief. Hearing a variety of experiences is helpful. While Norah's way doesn't match mine, I do believe that remembering to be in some motion would be helpful. I could easily get stuck in such inactivity, it would be really bad for my health. Being in the present while a loved one is sick can be so helpful. Mostly if you are also aware of what you are focusing on in the present. The things she mentions is like a to do list. For me, the focus is on what laughs can we share, how grateful am I to have this moment together, what beauty can I/we focus on? I've noticed when someone is sick their vital statistics can become the most important thing in the world. Yet they are temporary and often meaningless. Yet, I do it myself. So thank you Norah for sharing your way of dealing with grief and what you've observed and learned. So many paths to the same destination.
Fantastic talk Norah. Thank you for putting my journey into words!! I lost my husband 14 years ago and our children are now young adults. Its been a long road and I'm still on it. Its true what you say about motion being the cure for grief. I found having a project, aim or goal to reach keeps me moving forward in my grief. It never leaves me but its easier to deal with. Keep up the inspiration! x
Il take this take as an idea but thats it. I dont think you can just get over someone close to you by simply moving. It may help you feel better and take your mind of things in the moment but the next day you still remember them.
You don't get over someone you've lost. You learn to live with the loss. You come to eventually accept the unacceptable. Of course you never forget them. That's not what she's saying. She's saying you have to put one foot in front of the other in order to move through the grieving process.
My daughter is gone I will grieve for the rest of my life, would have it no other way, I’m so sorry for your pain and loss, I just can’t see how anyone can be cured of grieving there child no matter what age they were.
Yes, I do agree, it's like going cold turkey. And the only way I've been able to survive, is to to just stay busy. Keep moving, doing....and just make it day to day. You have to accept the death of a loved one. It's very hard. The pain never leaves, but you have to replace it with moving, doing things, staying busy as much as you can. It takes a lot of strength. I know.
Isn't it ironic? That the person who could've consoled me the best, is actually the one that died? God bless your soul masry, you were a good listener and an amazing friend. Till we meet again my love.
Oh honey don’t stop moving your important people need you people love you don’t stop don’t cry just know your not alone people are here for you and your loved one lives in our hearts
Your talk is so encouraging, educational and honest I agree with everything you said, and feel similarly that we can learn best from those who have been there. Keep talking! Your desperation and subsequent ability to be inspirational engenders hope - I love the humour that peppers through!
I appreciate your perspective. I should point out that while dopamine is indeed involved in love and addiction, we typically talk about three neurotransmitters being involved in love. PEA is the one most associated with the rush of energy, staying up all night, feeling "high". The other is oxytocin, the "bonding" neurotransmitter.
Great speech! _However,_ not everyone has a skill that someone reaches out to them for that skill. I have experienced too many deaths to count in the past 2+ years. Although I was already in grief mode, when my husband died last February, suddenly dropping dead with no warning from a pulmonary embolism, that was enough to put me over the edge. The only people I’ve spoken to in the past year and a half is my doctor, and the occasional pleasantries at the grocery store. (When I can even get myself to the grocery store.) 4 months after my husband died I had a minor stroke, only complicating matters. I just can’t seem to pick myself up. Oddly, and for reasons I can’t understand, idk _why_ I can’t seem to pick myself up. This is coming from a woman who has never been afraid to hop in my car and drive across the country on a whim, alone. I’ve also picked up and moved across many states, several times, by myself, chasing my career. I’ve always been a typical type A personality. Unfortunately, my career ended abruptly, when I was badly injured when a semi truck side swiped me on the freeway going 70mph, crushing my car between his trailer and the k-wall for a mile, before we went around a curve and my car rode up, and teetered on top of the k-wall, with a bayou below me, before his trailer finally ran over my car. Therefore, I can’t even bury myself in the career I loved so much, like I did after my Mother died at the young age of 45. I just can’t seem to get through this. Making a bad situation even worse, I have major dental problems that I can’t afford to get fixed. Therefore, I don’t want to talk to _anyone,_ in person. Hopefully I can find a way to get through this. However, there have been several deaths since my husband died too. It just seems like it’s just too much for one person to handle alone. 🤷🏼♀️
It is really hard to listen to her talk, she has leant on her mum for so much support. I lost my mum suddenly, she was only 60 and she too was my anchor and support. I don't think there is a cure for this loss, maybe there is a cure for losing a spouse but losing a precious loving mother is something else completely. And I think 'cure' is the wrong word, perhaps you can distract with work and getting on with life. But I feel my loss would only track me down or manifest in other ways - if I don't face it properly and make a healthy relationship with it.
I am beside myself in grief over the loss of my rescue 6 month old Kitten and his accident. As his human mommy it was my job to protect him from dangerous situations and I failed him. My heart is forever crushed. I miss him so much. My throat is in my stomach. I don't know how to live this life without him in it. It's my first personal loss. I also bottle fed him and raised him since 3 weeks old and can't help but feel like I brought him home to die.
Grief finds us all. As long as people continue to be in relationships and have children, grief will exist. To grieve is to live and to live is to grieve. No bargains.
I'm only 13 and the biggest grief I have had so far was when my rat died, it was one of the worst days of my life. But soon, I know I'm in for a shock, my grandma has only a couple years left in here and my grandpa could die any minute. I always put it off and like to think the painless life I have been living will continue, but I know it won't and I'm not going to hide from it anymore. Thank you, I will have the courage to get through it when it occurs. But I know I'm in for a shock
it's good to be mentally prepared, but don't let that hold you back and always love each moment to the fullest. Even though we can be prepared, it almost always comes as a shock anyway, suddenly not having someone you love. I just lost my best friend of 8 years, my rabbit Thumper who was like a dog/baby to me, and it feels so sickeningly wrong, not having to feed him, clean him, play with him, just sitting with him. I was really close with him and grew up by him which makes it particularly hard, I'd say different from losing previous pets and even my grandad at 5. Healing just takes time. I hope you find your peace, and know that there is always someone to turn to for support.
Ian Patricia Chan I hear you -- it makes so much difference when you grow up beside someone -- whether they're a person or an animal. I hope things are at least a little bit better for you now? Your comment really resonates with me: "it feels so sickeningly wrong". It really does! My dear little dog, Tika, died just this February, and I wake up every morning missing her sweet face watching me like she used to do. It's still a shock every morning, not to see her waiting for my eyes to open and seeing her face light up as soon as she saw I was awake. Always she greeted every morning with so much joy. Morning seems so bleak now, even today on Easter. I've lost pets and human family members before, and I know it always takes time, but it's so hard in the beginning, when everything just feels so completely and utterly wrong. . . Thank you for your comment, you described so well how it feels. So many people can't understand.
zxy atiywariii your comment made me tear up :) that was almost a year ago and can say that i'm much better, although partially thanks to a new person in my life. Still tear up when i think about him sometimes but like you say, time heals. You just have to accept that everything comes to an end, sooner or later, big or small, and make the most of what you have. Two months is not a long time, you have to surround yourself with people who love and understand you, and let time heal you x
allowing yourself eventually to be even just abit happy again and create new experiences in life. I believe a loved one would of wanted that more than anything for you. Keeping them in your heart and memories forever. Hope that helps someone. I'm no expert but Its is just my opinion so far.
17:30 was way too short to listen to Norah Casey. Absolutely inspiring and so heart wrenchingly open! Wow, I've just read some of the comments below...speechless!
Listening to you seems to be a key. Am I finding something here. Please I pray. All I want is to go to him. My precious husband who is my everything I can’t live without him.
Tra Lalalala This woman talks so fast she drives me crazy. Did you lose your husband? I’m losing mine to Lewy Body Dementia and the grief is killing me. I don’t want to live without my husband either. I’m terrified. What do we do? I’m so sorry for your loss. 💕😢
It's very very hard... I lost my partner 1,5 month ago. Still crying every single day. I know I will go to see him one day when my time has come. Now I'm trying to survive every single day...💔💔
My wife just passed a week ago. As a creator I think "Who lives who dies who tells your story" all of the time. I have some content to finish. Wife is in my photo.
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my son jersey on may 24th 2020 during lockdown on a car accident he just turned 22 on his birthday, got hit by a drunk truck driver, that was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 13yr old daughter is my everything and the reason I keep strong, my late wife passed away 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866678266 or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
to all you naysayers F O . Thank you Nora like you I discovered dopamine and involving myself in following personal dreams has helped. I lost 2 wives to cancer. Somedays I just cry spontaneously it's ok I tell myself, it's ok to grieve. Time doesn't heal you just learn to deal with it. losing someone you love, a partner is different than losing a parent or grandparent it's like half of you just disappeared like cutting a worm In half writhing in agony not sure what to do but eventually surviving becoming almost whole again.
I have left the earth, But I am still about, I kiss your cheek at night, When your light is out. I am the wind, That blows in your hair, I am spirit now, I am near. I sit on your shoulder, I see all that you do, My body is gone, Still my love is with you. When times are tough, I hold your hand, You are never alone, Together we stand. If you are in trouble, I shall help you out, I am your instinct When you doubt. I am the angel Assigned to you, You will never be alone, For I am next to you.
Everyone grieves differently because everyones story is different. Thats something that you have to accept.The stages of grief are a guide however if the death was expected you may have gone through some of these stages before the death eg.denial. I dont think its fair to put a limit on grief and to say you do thins you dont do this .
yes of course this is her but thats my point this is what helps her but not everyone and sure say it in a way that states everyone needs to to what she is doing
Julia Julia Because i will not stand up on front of everyone and tell them what is right or wrong. Everyones experiences are different. There is also no need to call names or speak down to anyone like that it is firstly rude and secondly everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my son jersey on may 24th 2020 during lockdown on a car accident he just turned 22 on his birthday, got hit by a drunk truck driver, that was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 13yr old daughter is my everything and the reason I keep strong, my late wife passed away 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866678266 or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
I searched this cause my dad is going to die soon. His name is Thomas Michael "Wade" Wilson. He has cirrhosis and diabetes. Hes 70. He was born on Oct. 26, 1949 (scorpio) in Ohio and got a bachelors in creative writing and english lit. Hes traveled all around central america and southeast asia. Hes a wonderful generous intelligent gentle kind-hearted tough and wise soul who loves his daughter ! Me! 🙏 please God give me 1 more year with him I'm begging you please. Amen.
I helped console my partner through the death of his Mother and Brother. Now he has died and I would give anything for him to be able to console me. I'm alone.
Grief is by definition not a disease, but a completely natural human reaction to loss (death, divorce, job, disease, etc.), and many people cope completely naturally with grief without planning or deciding it. It depends on a number of individual factors. We all experience grief differently in scale and in healing time, but it is a natural process. Complicated grief is another story that may need professional help. She might have experienced complicated grief, or she might in fact just be talking about the symptoms or consequences of our Modern efficient society that often leaves people in doubt whether they do it 'right' or 'fast' or effectively enough, because we/society can't effort time. Sadly, we are no longer familiar with grief, which is tough by the way, so we desperately need strategies. Her motion, however, startet the first day she got out of bed after the loss of her husbond, whether she did it for herself or for her son. She probably had something to eat eveyday for pure survival, and she decided to shower sometimes. Personally, she needed more, so one day she decided to send her son to school and go to work herself. Then her next motion was to find a new goal or future, but she did many motions before that.
“Grieve thou not over the troubles and hardships of this nether world, nor be thou glad in times of ease and comfort, for both shall pass away. This present life is even as a swelling wave, or a mirage, or drifting shadows. Could ever a distorted image on the desert serve as refreshing waters? No, by the Lord of Lords! Never can reality and the mere semblance of reality be one, and wide is the difference between fancy and fact, between truth and the phantom thereof. Know thou that the Kingdom is the real world, and this nether place is only its shadow stretching out. A shadow hath no life of its own; its existence is only a fantasy, and nothing more; it is but images reflected in water, and seeming as pictures to the eye.” - Abdu’l-Baha
Lost both my parents this year my dad Feb 4 ,2021 my mom in November 7 ,2021 tommorow a week she left us my dad 9 months it so hard but holding on at least there not suffering no more pain
A nit pick. Technically bonobos are closer to chimps than humans, each separated from each other by 3 million years. Humans are separated from both by 6 to 7 million years.
I am crippled with pain I don't have a future as I can't feel anything . Me and my mind -that's me . Yes I have thrown up - a lot. Yes I can't remember a thing either. Really important ?dopamine ? Dopamine fix? Where? how? Ahhh! Get it back... really I can't move,can't feel anything. So how to find that.
@ Ivar Brinkman You can control speed by clicking the gear icon in the bottom right corner, selecting PLAYBACK SPEED and selecting a speed you'd rather hear. 25%, 50%, 75%, Normal, 125%, 150%, 175%, and 200% are your options. (I suggest 75%.)
william fitzpatrick That’s denial, not a cure. May as well be a robot. Or already dead yourself. That’s what my dad does and he causes pain to everyone around him because he refuses to show love.
difficult understanding her. some words blur together. i slowed the speed down & turned up volume & even eq'd it and still miss several words regularly.
‘The cure for grief is MOTION’. Motion cures Emotion? The emotion of Grief? The Power Of PositiveThinking? Get to the point. Waffle. Sounds more clever when you talk FAST. Dopamine ( from the word ‘ dope’ !!). The cure for GRIEF ? Suffer it. Be patient.
The word ‘patience’ is derived like much of our English language from the Latin verb ‘patio’ meaning ‘to suffer’. Patience = suffering. There’s no way out of it. If you run from it( suffering) it intensifies. Take up your cross. Your ‘cross’ is ‘your Self’.
Its helping me take my mind of my pet bird who has passed, Maybe you find it uninteresting because you have better things to do? People who are grieving will have nothing better to do.
How is it self indulgent to share how she has moved forward with her life? I think that is the opposite of self indulgence. Perhaps you are not grieving a significant loss?
This is medically questionable. But a nurse who has read a lot - OK. I mean it doesnt matter. Metaphorically useful either way I suppose. & this is...oh 2016. Well, neuroscience is hard.
Had to leave the video, she speaks far too fast, many points I couldn’t comprehend because of the speed and her constant pacing was off putting. I was hoping that I would get great advice on grieving having lost my beloved husband in traumatic circumstances two years ago. I leave the video non the wiser...
James my son is the same he's lost his sister and brother yr half apart he's broken he has a daughter a and grandson but he said he would prefer .his siblings back we are just existing x
James my son is the same he's lost his sister and brother yr half apart he's broken he has a daughter a and grandson but he said he would prefer .his siblings back we are just existing x
James my son is the same he's lost his sister and brother yr half apart he's broken he has a daughter a and grandson but he said he would prefer .his siblings back we are just existing x
After many years of working in bereavement and grief and loss counseling, this much I know for sure. 1.None of us grieve the same. 2.There’s no timetable for grief. 3. You NEVER get over it! You learn to get through it and how to cope. 4. People who tell you “I know how you feel” really don’t unless they have experienced a loss like yours. 5. You need people who will be good listeners, not who want to give you advice. 6. You need to get help. Grief support groups are very effective and help you to realize that you’re not the only person who has lost a loved one. 7. Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself.
Prayers for all of you who are on their grief journey. Things will get better. God Bless🙏🏻
I got passed my grief
Bobby Tayl
Thank you
I have not yet met someone wanting to give me advice. Folks are for the most part thoughtful. If they want to take me out for a meal, I will go and I will pay for the meal. But then I am okay alone too. I will be boring to be around others.
However I say, grief is mind numbing; I go through the days by doing simple things--shopping grocery, driving around, pulling grass, digging out and replanting, watering plants, anything that does not require serious thinking.
I sob easily around others too; so that is the end for socializing with others. He is in my head.....
@@Missusri You are like most people who have lost a loved one, I believe that you lost your spouse. Grief is a journey, not a destination. We all grieve differently. People who say that they understand what you’re going through really don’t unless they have lost a loved one. And even then each death loss is different. Allow people to offer to help get you out. You can say no, but try not to stay isolated for too long. People will be awkward and not know what to say, they don’t want to hurt you and bring you anymore pain. Crying is healthy!! You need to release your tears and it will help your healing process. I pray you will find some hope, and you will have peace in your life again someday soon ❤️🙏🏻
Time doesn’t help us heal. It only gives us distance between the traumatic event and ourselves to build the coping skills we need to keep breathing. That’s it. It never really stops hurting, but perspectives change.
Yes it’s true
Grief is normal. And you're supposed to have it. I don't want my grief "cured". Those I lost were invaluable to me. And my grief is a testament to what they meant.
YES! This is what I say! 3 weeks 2 days since Mom left. Everytime I can get past the shock to cry, I'm so happy and relieved. She is WORTH MISSING AND REMEMBERING SWEETLY FOREVER. Forever.
Holding onto grief will sadly cost you your health - would your loved one who passed want this for you? You are still blessed to be here are you not?
@@bethyourcoach4910 you do not know what your loved ones want us to do when we grief...
He and I sometimes talked about our demise and how we would feel; we said to each other we would be broken up to pieces.....
I am alone now with the memory of him...
What a outstanding perspective i never viewed things like this... thank you so much for the insight.
@@bethyourcoach4910 you never get rid of grief you move on with grief.
Grief is just love with nowhere to go. And how blessed are we to have had something so wonderful that it seems impossible to say goodbye. Cheers from Country Victoria, Australia.
Thanks 😭
I mean for the perspective
Yes that’s how I feel and now I’m crying
He is with me always.. I carried him in my arms.. now I carry him in my heart.
Your son?
Thank you, I'm also living it at this dark moment of life
Beautifully expressed
Thanks for the Encouragement.
I lost my beloved only Sister Barbara 2019 after my Birthday, l didn't get to say goodbye that hurt my heart 💔.
I will pray for God's Grace and peace to get me through this difficult time and Journey.
For anyone that says she's speaking very fast, you can slow her down on Settings, change the Playback Speed to 0.75 or whatever you choose. This helped.
I lost my bf soon to be fiance . i saved this video months ago but too hard to watch. But today i went to the gym and as im on the elliptical...you said yhe cure to grief is MOTION. thank you for reassuring me that me moving forward is ok after 1 and a half years of staying home.
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my son jersey on may 24th 2020 during lockdown on a car accident he just turned 22 on his birthday, got hit by a drunk truck driver, that was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 13yr old daughter is my everything and the reason I keep strong, my late wife passed away 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866678266 or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
I needed this. Rest in peace my sweet mama, how I ache for you, I’m tired of hearing it’s early days, this agony is forever. Rest in peace my brothers. 💗💗💗
Grief tracks us all down eventually. It is tenacious and relentless. Fortunately for you, somebody needed what you had, and you rose to the occasion. Through our most difficult lessons comes our most brilliant revelations. Too bad it has to be that way, but it seems to be true.
Merlin এক্স
My mother died of cancer in late 2016. My wife died, still young and very suddenly, of a freak kidney infection two months later. Dealing with the resulting grief has been inexplicably awful. Casey makes some very good points and I believe that there are healthy ways to mitigate and address grief. In my opinion, she could toss the word, "cure."
james lachs my mom died... cancer! My partner died ! Cancer! ... too tough...
This talk is a great example of how differently we grieve. We all have different thinking and decision making processes, why would it be different with grief? There is no one way to deal with grief. Hearing a variety of experiences is helpful. While Norah's way doesn't match mine, I do believe that remembering to be in some motion would be helpful. I could easily get stuck in such inactivity, it would be really bad for my health.
Being in the present while a loved one is sick can be so helpful. Mostly if you are also aware of what you are focusing on in the present. The things she mentions is like a to do list. For me, the focus is on what laughs can we share, how grateful am I to have this moment together, what beauty can I/we focus on? I've noticed when someone is sick their vital statistics can become the most important thing in the world. Yet they are temporary and often meaningless. Yet, I do it myself.
So thank you Norah for sharing your way of dealing with grief and what you've observed and learned. So many paths to the same destination.
Thank you, Norah. I am glad to know there is a future after too much loss. If there are stages, I have been in the carb-eating one this week.
Carb eating 3 week solid 😭😭😭😭
I found the cure is both gratitude and helping others... which I suppose is motion.
Fantastic talk Norah. Thank you for putting my journey into words!! I lost my husband 14 years ago and our children are now young adults. Its been a long road and I'm still on it. Its true what you say about motion being the cure for grief. I found having a project, aim or goal to reach keeps me moving forward in my grief. It never leaves me but its easier to deal with. Keep up the inspiration! x
Il take this take as an idea but thats it. I dont think you can just get over someone close to you by simply
moving. It may help you feel better and take your mind of things in the moment but the next day you still remember them.
I don't think you ever get over them, but moving is what brings you back to life.
You don't get over someone you've lost. You learn to live with the loss. You come to eventually accept the unacceptable. Of course you never forget them. That's not what she's saying. She's saying you have to put one foot in front of the other in order to move through the grieving process.
My grief is forever . My 16 year old son was murdered . I’m glad your cured tho .
Lorena I'm so truly sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in your loving memories of your baby boy. 💙
My daughter is gone I will grieve for the rest of my life, would have it no other way, I’m so sorry for your pain and loss, I just can’t see how anyone can be cured of grieving there child no matter what age they were.
Yes, I do agree, it's like going cold turkey. And the only way I've been able to survive, is to to just stay busy. Keep moving, doing....and just make it day to day. You have to accept the death of a loved one. It's very hard. The pain never leaves, but you have to replace it with moving, doing things, staying busy as much as you can. It takes a lot of strength. I know.
So true Joan C
+Sandy Randolph fsudahs
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@@sandyrandolph3608 hi Boo yo chi hubo cv hi mi bb no vio vida
Isn't it ironic? That the person who could've consoled me the best, is actually the one that died? God bless your soul masry, you were a good listener and an amazing friend. Till we meet again my love.
Grief has stopped me from moving
Oh honey don’t stop moving your important people need you people love you don’t stop don’t cry just know your not alone people are here for you and your loved one lives in our hearts
Thank you! I've come to this conclusion myself recently and it's good to hear I'm not alone in it.
Your talk is so encouraging, educational and honest I agree with everything you said, and feel similarly that we can learn best from those who have been there. Keep talking! Your desperation and subsequent ability to be inspirational engenders hope - I love the humour that peppers through!
My beautiful wife linda has died and will always be in my heart and my soul I still love her so much and I'll never forget her thankyou
The cure for grief is motion! Thank you.
I appreciate your perspective. I should point out that while dopamine is indeed involved in love and addiction, we typically talk about three neurotransmitters being involved in love. PEA is the one most associated with the rush of energy, staying up all night, feeling "high". The other is oxytocin, the "bonding" neurotransmitter.
Great speech! _However,_ not everyone has a skill that someone reaches out to them for that skill. I have experienced too many deaths to count in the past 2+ years. Although I was already in grief mode, when my husband died last February, suddenly dropping dead with no warning from a pulmonary embolism, that was enough to put me over the edge. The only people I’ve spoken to in the past year and a half is my doctor, and the occasional pleasantries at the grocery store. (When I can even get myself to the grocery store.) 4 months after my husband died I had a minor stroke, only complicating matters. I just can’t seem to pick myself up. Oddly, and for reasons I can’t understand, idk _why_ I can’t seem to pick myself up. This is coming from a woman who has never been afraid to hop in my car and drive across the country on a whim, alone. I’ve also picked up and moved across many states, several times, by myself, chasing my career. I’ve always been a typical type A personality. Unfortunately, my career ended abruptly, when I was badly injured when a semi truck side swiped me on the freeway going 70mph, crushing my car between his trailer and the k-wall for a mile, before we went around a curve and my car rode up, and teetered on top of the k-wall, with a bayou below me, before his trailer finally ran over my car. Therefore, I can’t even bury myself in the career I loved so much, like I did after my Mother died at the young age of 45. I just can’t seem to get through this. Making a bad situation even worse, I have major dental problems that I can’t afford to get fixed. Therefore, I don’t want to talk to _anyone,_ in person. Hopefully I can find a way to get through this. However, there have been several deaths since my husband died too. It just seems like it’s just too much for one person to handle alone. 🤷🏼♀️
I understand your pain and sorry you had to go through all of it. I hope you have found peace.
Can you go to local university with a dental school? They isually have clinics that treat at no cost.
It is really hard to listen to her talk, she has leant on her mum for so much support. I lost my mum suddenly, she was only 60 and she too was my anchor and support. I don't think there is a cure for this loss, maybe there is a cure for losing a spouse but losing a precious loving mother is something else completely. And I think 'cure' is the wrong word, perhaps you can distract with work and getting on with life. But I feel my loss would only track me down or manifest in other ways - if I don't face it properly and make a healthy relationship with it.
I am beside myself in grief over the loss of my rescue 6 month old Kitten and his accident. As his human mommy it was my job to protect him from dangerous situations and I failed him. My heart is forever crushed. I miss him so much. My throat is in my stomach. I don't know how to live this life without him in it. It's my first personal loss. I also bottle fed him and raised him since 3 weeks old and can't help but feel like I brought him home to die.
Wonderful woman, I completely agree with everything she has said.
Grief finds us all. As long as people continue to be in relationships and have children, grief will exist. To grieve is to live and to live is to grieve. No bargains.
Thank you so much for this, it's making me feel really calm.
I'm only 13 and the biggest grief I have had so far was when my rat died, it was one of the worst days of my life. But soon, I know I'm in for a shock, my grandma has only a couple years left in here and my grandpa could die any minute. I always put it off and like to think the painless life I have been living will continue, but I know it won't and I'm not going to hide from it anymore. Thank you, I will have the courage to get through it when it occurs. But I know I'm in for a shock
it's good to be mentally prepared, but don't let that hold you back and always love each moment to the fullest. Even though we can be prepared, it almost always comes as a shock anyway, suddenly not having someone you love. I just lost my best friend of 8 years, my rabbit Thumper who was like a dog/baby to me, and it feels so sickeningly wrong, not having to feed him, clean him, play with him, just sitting with him. I was really close with him and grew up by him which makes it particularly hard, I'd say different from losing previous pets and even my grandad at 5. Healing just takes time. I hope you find your peace, and know that there is always someone to turn to for support.
Ian Patricia Chan I hear you -- it makes so much difference when you grow up beside someone -- whether they're a person or an animal. I hope things are at least a little bit better for you now? Your comment really resonates with me: "it feels so sickeningly wrong". It really does! My dear little dog, Tika, died just this February, and I wake up every morning missing her sweet face watching me like she used to do. It's still a shock every morning, not to see her waiting for my eyes to open and seeing her face light up as soon as she saw I was awake. Always she greeted every morning with so much joy. Morning seems so bleak now, even today on Easter. I've lost pets and human family members before, and I know it always takes time, but it's so hard in the beginning, when everything just feels so completely and utterly wrong. . . Thank you for your comment, you described so well how it feels. So many people can't understand.
zxy atiywariii your comment made me tear up :) that was almost a year ago and can say that i'm much better, although partially thanks to a new person in my life. Still tear up when i think about him sometimes but like you say, time heals. You just have to accept that everything comes to an end, sooner or later, big or small, and make the most of what you have. Two months is not a long time, you have to surround yourself with people who love and understand you, and let time heal you x
❤️
Thank you for sharing , one of life's hurdles , giving a better understanding !
allowing yourself eventually to be even just abit happy again and create new experiences in life. I believe a loved one would of wanted that more than anything for you. Keeping them in your heart and memories forever. Hope that helps someone. I'm no expert but Its is just my opinion so far.
Секс.
There is no such thing to cure grief, it’s something that you live with for the rest of your life.
Grief is very painful. It's a very cold incompleteness the heart must suffer.
17:30 was way too short to listen to Norah Casey. Absolutely inspiring and so heart wrenchingly open! Wow, I've just read some of the comments below...speechless!
Listening to you seems to be a key. Am I finding something here. Please I pray. All I want is to go to him. My precious husband who is my everything I can’t live without him.
Tra Lalalala This woman talks so fast she drives me crazy. Did you lose your husband? I’m losing mine to Lewy Body Dementia and the grief is killing me. I don’t want to live without my husband either. I’m terrified. What do we do? I’m so sorry for your loss. 💕😢
It's very very hard... I lost my partner 1,5 month ago. Still crying every single day. I know I will go to see him one day when my time has come. Now I'm trying to survive every single day...💔💔
My wife just passed a week ago. As a creator I think "Who lives who dies who tells your story" all of the time. I have some content to finish. Wife is in my photo.
So sorry for your loss. I am praying for you.
Well said and thought out. I am disgusted with the hard hearted creeps that insult her.
You are an angel Norah. Thank you x
Thankyou !! I needed to hear this.
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my son jersey on may 24th 2020 during lockdown on a car accident he just turned 22 on his birthday, got hit by a drunk truck driver, that was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 13yr old daughter is my everything and the reason I keep strong, my late wife passed away 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866678266 or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
Thank you Norah Casey.
to all you naysayers F O . Thank you Nora like you I discovered dopamine and involving myself in following personal dreams has helped. I lost 2 wives to cancer. Somedays I just cry spontaneously it's ok I tell myself, it's ok to grieve. Time doesn't heal you just learn to deal with it. losing someone you love, a partner is different than losing a parent or grandparent it's like half of you just disappeared like cutting a worm In half writhing in agony not sure what to do but eventually surviving becoming almost whole again.
Peepapig
I have left the earth,
But I am still about,
I kiss your cheek at night,
When your light is out.
I am the wind,
That blows in your hair,
I am spirit now,
I am near.
I sit on your shoulder,
I see all that you do,
My body is gone,
Still my love is with you.
When times are tough,
I hold your hand,
You are never alone,
Together we stand.
If you are in trouble,
I shall help you out,
I am your instinct
When you doubt.
I am the angel
Assigned to you,
You will never be alone,
For I am next to you.
Beautiful
Everyone grieves differently because everyones story is different. Thats something that you have to accept.The stages of grief are a guide however if the death was expected you may have gone through some of these stages before the death eg.denial. I dont think its fair to put a limit on grief and to say you do thins you dont do this .
Just her journey and her take on it
yes of course this is her but thats my point this is what helps her but not everyone and sure say it in a way that states everyone needs to to what she is doing
Julia Julia Because i will not stand up on front of everyone and tell them what is right or wrong. Everyones experiences are different. There is also no need to call names or speak down to anyone like that it is firstly rude and secondly everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about
Justin Time
This helped me, thank you xx
I felt this to my core.
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you love, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my son jersey on may 24th 2020 during lockdown on a car accident he just turned 22 on his birthday, got hit by a drunk truck driver, that was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 13yr old daughter is my everything and the reason I keep strong, my late wife passed away 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866678266 or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
Fabulous talk. So helpful
I searched this cause my dad is going to die soon. His name is Thomas Michael "Wade" Wilson. He has cirrhosis and diabetes. Hes 70. He was born on Oct. 26, 1949 (scorpio) in Ohio and got a bachelors in creative writing and english lit. Hes traveled all around central america and southeast asia. Hes a wonderful generous intelligent gentle kind-hearted tough and wise soul who loves his daughter ! Me! 🙏 please God give me 1 more year with him I'm begging you please. Amen.
Thank-you Norah - big hugs XOX
I helped console my partner through the death of his Mother and Brother. Now he has died and I would give anything for him to be able to console me. I'm alone.
That was amazing. Thank you.
an irish tv program called ''dragons den'''
GRIEF IS LOVES EXPRESSION....JAHBLESS SOULJAH....
I wish there was a cure. Good for you for believing in something that is.
Amazing Norah ! Wow powerful
Thanks for sharing
thank you
Grief is by definition not a disease, but a completely natural human reaction to loss (death, divorce, job, disease, etc.), and many people cope completely naturally with grief without planning or deciding it. It depends on a number of individual factors. We all experience grief differently in scale and in healing time, but it is a natural process. Complicated grief is another story that may need professional help. She might have experienced complicated grief, or she might in fact just be talking about the symptoms or consequences of our Modern efficient society that often leaves people in doubt whether they do it 'right' or 'fast' or effectively enough, because we/society can't effort time. Sadly, we are no longer familiar with grief, which is tough by the way, so we desperately need strategies. Her motion, however, startet the first day she got out of bed after the loss of her husbond, whether she did it for herself or for her son. She probably had something to eat eveyday for pure survival, and she decided to shower sometimes. Personally, she needed more, so one day she decided to send her son to school and go to work herself. Then her next motion was to find a new goal or future, but she did many motions before that.
I agree 100 %
My God I needed to hear that tonight.
Dear lord how many words a minute are coming out of her mouth ?
Fozia Tahir I’m having a very sad day and your comment gave me a smile before I go to bed. 😊
RIP Richard ❤
Your story is really inspirational 🙂👍
Wow. 🦸🏼beautiful speech.
inspiration
Why are you talking this fast? You make it hard to comprehend your point.
Slow down the play back
I was feeling the same way. It’s quite an emotional and deep topic and I find it hard to get into it and clearly follow her message.
I am a musician and her panicked paced talk shut me down. I couldn't hear her any more.
Amazing!
Miss you my Wairua 💔😞
“Grieve thou not over the troubles and hardships of this nether world, nor be thou glad in times of ease and comfort, for both shall pass away. This present life is even as a swelling wave, or a mirage, or drifting shadows. Could ever a distorted image on the desert serve as refreshing waters? No, by the Lord of Lords! Never can reality and the mere semblance of reality be one, and wide is the difference between fancy and fact, between truth and the phantom thereof.
Know thou that the Kingdom is the real world, and this nether place is only its shadow stretching out. A shadow hath no life of its own; its existence is only a fantasy, and nothing more; it is but images reflected in water, and seeming as pictures to the eye.” - Abdu’l-Baha
Lost both my parents this year my dad Feb 4 ,2021 my mom in November 7 ,2021 tommorow a week she left us my dad 9 months it so hard but holding on at least there not suffering no more pain
Brilliant very interesting
I didn't hear anything I heard stories but I didn't hear any tips but that must be just me
Thomas Suddendorf at UQ? Awesome. Thats handy.
Norah Casey talks extremely fast.
What about when you have no dam choice but to move forward because going back is too dam torture 😭😭😭😭
💔
The machine at Publix was right
She's talking faster. Why is this?
A nit pick. Technically bonobos are closer to chimps than humans, each separated from each other by 3 million years. Humans are separated from both by 6 to 7 million years.
Gee ! She can talk a billion words a minute!
I'm not sure how this is going to help for losing my dad. What future did I see with my dad besides just having my dad around ☹️
I’m sorry 😞
@@TheDaniMilan thank you
Her speech filled me with miss giving. Sorry but not everyone can be cured the way she said 😐
I am crippled with pain I don't have a future as I can't feel anything . Me and my mind -that's me . Yes I have thrown up - a lot. Yes I can't remember a thing either. Really important ?dopamine ? Dopamine fix? Where? how? Ahhh! Get it back... really I can't move,can't feel anything. So how to find that.
When you say "cure" you're implying that grief is an illness- it's not.
please.
slow down
woman
Ivar Brinkman @
@ Ivar Brinkman
You can control speed by clicking the gear icon in the bottom right corner, selecting PLAYBACK SPEED and selecting a speed you'd rather hear. 25%, 50%, 75%, Normal, 125%, 150%, 175%, and 200% are your options. (I suggest 75%.)
I cant even wacth this, cause this speed talking is killing me!!!
You
Speed
Up
The cure for grief is not to care.
william fitzpatrick That’s denial, not a cure. May as well be a robot. Or already dead yourself. That’s what my dad does and he causes pain to everyone around him because he refuses to show love.
Do yourself a favor and listen at .75X speed .. the gist of her talk is lost in the speed at which she talks
I like it, but she speaks WAY to fast, I can hardly bear it. And a little braggy, tbh
You can click the cog and choose the slower speed of 0.75. It was a brilliant talk.
@@dav3831 vvhhjhtfddhhy
My husband left me exactly 3 months ago
difficult understanding her. some words blur together. i slowed the speed down & turned up volume & even eq'd it and still miss several words regularly.
‘The cure for grief is MOTION’.
Motion cures Emotion? The emotion of Grief? The Power Of PositiveThinking?
Get to the point. Waffle. Sounds more clever when you talk FAST. Dopamine ( from the word ‘ dope’ !!). The cure for GRIEF ? Suffer it. Be patient.
Yes ,Ivor...thank you ! Patience IS a virtue...🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
The word ‘patience’ is derived like much of our English language from the Latin verb ‘patio’ meaning ‘to suffer’. Patience = suffering. There’s no way out of it. If you run from it( suffering) it intensifies. Take up your cross. Your ‘cross’ is ‘your Self’.
I find this all very self indulgent and I have to say uninteresting.
Its helping me take my mind of my pet bird who has passed, Maybe you find it uninteresting because you have better things to do? People who are grieving will have nothing better to do.
How is it self indulgent to share how she has moved forward with her life? I think that is the opposite of self indulgence. Perhaps you are not grieving a significant loss?
This is medically questionable. But a nurse who has read a lot - OK. I mean it doesnt matter. Metaphorically useful either way I suppose. & this is...oh 2016. Well, neuroscience is hard.
What if you heal someone you may heal yourself .
Had to leave the video, she speaks far too fast, many points I couldn’t comprehend because of the speed and her constant pacing was off putting. I was hoping that I would get great advice on grieving having lost my beloved husband in traumatic circumstances two years ago. I leave the video non the wiser...
I hurt so bad I lost my brother last month i want to die i welcome death so I can be with my brother I hurt
James my son is the same he's lost his sister and brother yr half apart he's broken he has a daughter a and grandson but he said he would prefer .his siblings back we are just existing x
James my son is the same he's lost his sister and brother yr half apart he's broken he has a daughter a and grandson but he said he would prefer .his siblings back we are just existing x
James my son is the same he's lost his sister and brother yr half apart he's broken he has a daughter a and grandson but he said he would prefer .his siblings back we are just existing x
Not my idea of a cure for grief...too many missing "stages."
I wish you’d slowed down a little.