Common Differences Between Autistic & Neurotypical Communication
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 พ.ค. 2024
- Some Autistic and neurodivergent individuals communicate differently from neurotypical individuals. Under the medical model of disability, this type of communication is considered disordered and something that needs to be "fixed." But we now know that while, yes, Autistic individuals may communicate differently, it that does mean that it’s less effective or wrong.
In this video, SLPs Jessie and Laura explain where this shift in thinking comes from, what the most common differences are, and how to better support your neurodivergent friends, children, or family!
If you would like more information or have concerns about your child's communication skills, head over to our website to get in touch with a Speech Therapist today!
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#autism #neurodiversity #communication #speechtherapy #slp #emergepediatrictherapy
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The casual lying that neurotypical people do drives me mad. Lying doesn't make sense to me. Not if you want genuine connection. But I've been told repeatedly by others that my hang up about lying is just that. MY hang up about lying. That everyone lies to not hurt each other's feelings or whatever and I'm like, then how do I know if we're even friends? Ugh.
I hate that those of us with direct, honest communication styles are the weird ones. I can't do the small talk game. I'd rather mow an estate in the heat than endure small talk. What is the point?
Lol. Not surprisingly, I don't have a lot of friends.
Neither do I. Same reason. I call it head games, and I'd rather have a conversation with my rabbit than one with someone I can't trust.
@@raven4090 I have plants and books. F people at this point.
@@thenerdgirl1 I agree. I read a lot more than I used to Lol. Plants are satisfying. I bought my first one at 9 and my mom said it would die. I had it for years and then my dad killed it. He read that cod liver oil was good for plants. It wasn't for that one. I have some nice ones now. Out of rabbit reach Lol. I also have cats and a bird.
@@raven4090 my wife had to leave for training for her job and while she was away for those two months or so I acquired like eight or nine new plants and now have a lovely little "garden" to enjoy. I've also gotten really into comic books and graphic novels. I can't get into the superhero ones but I've discovered whole genres of horror and self discovery stories that I'm really enjoying.
We do what we must to survive.
Because (more so in some cultures than others) being direct is considered rude, and that you should care about how somebody feels about what you say. Sometimes their feelings matter more than the truth, especially in collectivist cultures where harmony is valued such as in Japan.
Some cultures such as South Africa value being blunt and straightforward, but if you behaved that way in say the United Kingdom people would find it rude.
With neurotypical people, interaction is a fine dance between telling the truth whilst avoiding saying things that would disturb social harmony both personally and in wider society.
Let’s take a extreme example. If the government had found out an asteroid was on a collision course with earth and that they could only shelter a segment of the population. It would be more effective to lie somewhat about the situation to reduce social panic and disorder so that as many lives can be saved in a orderly fashion. Further those who are going to die from the catastrophe can at least live out the rest of their lives with some semblance of order. If the government just bluntly told the truth it would be chaos.
That’s a extreme example but it gets the point across
Kinda just stumbled across this, but yeah, as an autistic person stumbling upon a video of a therapy center for autistic kids that actually recognizes their communication style and works to adapt to that (cooperatively), mutually between neurotypes... respect. Way more pleased than the ABA crap that usually pops up. Not a kid, nowhere near you, but... yeah, respect
Thank you so much! We're trying to reframe the way people think about communication styles: they're just differences, not right or wrong ways to communicate. We really appreciate feedback like this 🥰
@@emergepediatrictherapy That really isn't the issue. The issue is most Neurotypical people really don't care, and in general, if you don't act in a way. That accommodates their communication style. They either tune you out, cut you off or become aggressive toward you with no further communication.
ABA therapy is a form of genocide against neurodivergent community. I am working to outlaw it completely. I am a survivor of ABA therapy. All I have to show for it are scars from electric burns. I never complied. Never have, never will. When I came from my home country, I believed the lies and thought that USA was a progressive country. Only to find Autism Speaks and Judge Rotenberg Center. Same violence and abuse, only more pretense.
@@oleonard7319the two individuals in this video seem to care....
Your right most people don't care about anything, it's frustrating and leads to being disappointed when you care about everything!
I'm sorry you have been hurt in the past, but you don't have to carry all that weight alone ya know? ❤
2:22
NT communication = fluff and confusion
ND communication = actually communicating.
Crazy how actually communicating is the minority!
Agreed. How stupid is this setup we've all accepted?
This is the most helpful video so far. Everyone has videos that are "maybe you're autistic if..." but they don't define "maybe you're neurotypical if" at all. So it's just confusing. To be honest, "high functioning autism" just seems to be a personality to me. Used to be called "nerd." I live in a tech town where there are a ton of us. It's not hard to make friends and bond over info dumping haha
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Or maybe Asperger refers to the more intelligent aut. people? 🤔 I know an autistic person who is overall pretty intelligent but impossible to have a communication with. In decades of knowing this person I never heard this person articulate any thoughts or anything else in a coherent way. I can talk to pretty much anyone but it was impossible to talk to this person, I tried so many times over the decades but it was just impossible. Similar to not being able to have a normal verbal conversation with a dog. I’m sure not every autistic person has these extr.problems to have a regular simple conversation but this specific person did and I never understood why because the person was overall intelligent and I didn’t know much about autism at the time so it always seemed like the person was just too lazy to converse and like they didn’t want to put any effort into communicating even when it was important/urgent etc. Like it came across very passive-aggressive and rude like this person cared about no one but themselves no matter what
hi there, I have a lot to add to this, because my experiences lie in a total different reason why communication is hard with neuro-typicals!
ASSUMPTIONS AND EXPECTATIONS!
Neuro-typical people are drained with assumptive and expectational thoughts! Also, they have what I call a coding/decoding system!
Listen carefully and they almost never say what they meant to say! It had nothing to do with sarcasm or something! I use sarcasm lots of times and understand this also very well! It is just that people never say what they mean! And they are not even aware of this!
Somehow, another neurotypical person decodes that in that what the other person means!
As an autistic person I say what I meant to say. The problem then comes from the others decoding something what shouldn't be decoded! This way they constantly misinterpret me! Even when I tell them to literally listen to what I say, I say it then in slow-mow to them and very articulated and guess what happens?! It is truly unbelievable, but then they say that they repeat me, but say something completely different!!!
Or, also happens 50% of the time, I say A and then they say that I said any other letter of the alphabet, except for A! Do you understand?
So I say; A
Then they say; Why do you say G?
Me; I am not saying G! I am saying A!
They; That is what I am saying, G! Now you say G again! (OR ANY OTHER THING, BUT THEY REFUSE TO ACCEPT ME SAYING A)
And that is the biggest problem!!! They are not able to listen without some filter in their heads!!!
What I am saying literally can not reach their brains! It is decoded or filtered before! So what is coming into their brain must be anything else but A!
It is shocking, but I have done years of research on this already, did all kinds of experiments, monitored what neuro-typical people say to each other and what they meant by it and how it was received by the other party and it is staggering to notice!!!
Even the most basic things are said different from what the mean or want!!!
So on the one hand, They say not what they meant to say, and on the other hand they interpret what you say in any form, except for what you truly said!
And that my ladies, is the real culprit! Neuro-typical people do not communicate directly and do it in code! Not us!
Oh, I am hypersensitive too and therefor hear everything around me and sometimes make it hard to hear what people say! I always then refer to myself. I will say something like: "Can you speak louder please! There is a lot of noise around us, so I can not hear you well!" That way I blame myself and not them for not coming across well and they are more inclined to not be offended and speak louder!
If you think it is nonsense. Try observing neuro-typical people for a week and write down what they say literally and what they meant! You will find out soon enough!
BTW; I live in The Netherlands so there could be some differences, but I expect them to be minor!
Great video ladies:) I'm autistic so I'm trying to find the best way to communicate with neuotypicals
read my comment on this! It will help you to see! Not necessarily to be able to do something about it, but it is information you might need to understand what is happening.
Wow, this is a really good video and I'm impressed 😁 Whenever I see a video on this topic made by people who I read as neurotypical, I have poor expectations ☹️ So often, videos about neurodivergent communication, when made by neurotypical people, are about how neurodiveegent individuals are deficient and tips on what they need to do mask.
Im honestly impressed to see a video by neurotypicals with no neurodivergent individual present (Im assuming all this, of course) that not only says that neurodivergent communication is valid, but even recognizes that autistic people have effective communication with other autistic people!
Great job guys!! 👍
Thank you for making this video, y'all! This is useful in my work as a therapist, bridging gaps between neurodivergent & neurotypical communication styles.
This is the best video I've seen on this subject. I've watched many. Thank you for your effort to open people's minds. More understanding will help children and young people have a better life. It's too late for me at 60. It's comforting to know there are people who care about autistics in this world.
It's refreshing to hear this.
You 2 ladies are very sweet. Good video. I felt nothing but genuinely mindful vibes during the whole video.
Very wonderful helpful video
As an adult with autism, i find this incredibly helpful and useful. Thank you
I just love Jessie ❤
As a Tourettian with my tics under control, I think I only have some problems with autistic communication when it takes the autist about a minute to answer.
I do my best to avoid speaking with NT people. I prefer to use sms/e-mail. Not only is it more efficient, there is a record to help remember the exchange.
This does help a lot, but there's also a ton of assumptions that NT people make when they write. It forces me to ask them a lot of questions, which they tend to respond to rather negatively. I've been accused of being purposefully obtuse, sarcastic, and belligerent simply because I asked for clarification.
I really tried to watch this video, but I had to stop it after one minute. The reason is because the subtitles are baked into the video. While I'm happy when videos make quality subtitles available for the people that need them, I can't focus on the subject of a video when I'm distracted by the subtitles. They overwhelm me in many ways. So, if they are baked into the video (as in, added before exporting the video from the editing software) then I can't turn them off. If I can't turn them off, then I can't watch the video.
I find it somewhat funny in an ironic way, but also fairly frustrating, that a video about autistic communication styles would be inaccessible to me because I'm autistic.
I sometimes think that people in academia work hard to troll people that are different. At least, that's the only reason I can think of for why the psychologists decided to make up a long word to describe people who have a fear of long words. 😅
I develop seizures, convulsions, blindness, and paralysis from fire alarm noise. It causes me and other noise sensitive Autistic family members unbearable pain. In their current form, fire alarms are a form of disability abuse. I plan to outlaw them completely and replace them with sensory friendly ones. It is 100% illogical and counterproductive to deliver even more sensory overwhelm and panic in an already stressful situation. Emergency signals should be soothing and calming, not distressful. Same it true for emergency sirens and blinking lights. I believe that people who developed all of these were not only very illogical, but also had severe mental health problems.
Maintaining eye contact is not only harmful, it makes it impossible to communicate. All processing power is being spent on eye contact, not on communication. Same is true for maintaining body poses. Standing up, looking, thinking, and communicating are all separate activities, each requiring close to 100% of processing power. Thus, for a monotropic person it is physically impossible to do them all at once.
And let us not forget those who are non verbal. I was born non verbal. Zero accommodations for alternative communication. Ever seen ableist neurotypical person scolding non verbal Autistic child during Halloween "Say trick or treat or you get no candy!" Child standing there with tears in his eyes. Well I have seen. And for that year Halloween horrors came true for that neurotypical person. When I was done with her, she looked like she wanted to die. Sadly no one prescribes anti-ableism pills at the doctor's office.
Thank you for turning off the annoying royalty free music
It seemed to me that you didn't really understand the topic. You talked around it in abstract terms, but you should have deep dived with examples. You said nothing about some of the most difficult dialog that takes place, that which causes significant damage to relationships. Once you become aware of these impedance mismatches, it can prevent much misunderstanding. I felt that your understanding of Milton's double empathy problem was way off, out of context, and again I don't think you understand the topic. You are much younger than me, plenty of time to keep learning. Hopefully you can take this onboard constructively.
Do you think neurotypical people need eye contact for some of their communication purposes? If so, how can this problem be solved?
What is "positive body language"? As the premise states us autistics communicate differently, that includes body language. I had so many people misread my body language (badly, not even vaguely in the ballpark) it's ridiculous.
Can you give examples next time?
My child was so playful and verv interactive since 1year of using doctor Oyalo herbs ….and now he is verbal and also improve in social skills, he can now communicate, recite alphabets and numbers
I don't understand why the word neurodivergent is being used interchangeably with the word Autistic. They aren't synonymous. I don't think it's done intentionally here but please be mindful about that going forward.
Yes, Autistic people are neurodivergent but so are people who have ADHD, tremors, epilepsy, Down Syndrome, Parkinson's, dementia, multiple sclerosis, cerebral palsy, Tourette's, eating disorders, anxiety disorders, mental disabilities, trauma, substance abuse disorder, personality disorders, schizophrenia, etc. None of those forms of neurodivergence communicate the same way. Also, those neurodivergences are allistic (non-Autistic people). Maybe, since this video seems kinda focused on Autistic communication it should also be about allistic communication instead of "neurotypical". It's just a suggestion. /gen
Cluster A
@@t.a.4356 that's included too
there is a lot of talk about neurodivergant people and how they suffer and how they are different from neurotypical people. but im still not clear about what exactly is a neurotypical person. what is the boundary and is it even real or is it imposed on us by people telling these things? I mean I realize that everyone has their own stories and struggles, many of which we dont know about while casually seeing others or even talking with someone. you already listed various suffering conditions there and there are more. so who exactly is neurotypical and if they exists could they turn into a neurodivergant person overnight or gradually due to some bodily changes and experiences? the body does store trauma
I'll respect NTs when they start respecting me.
"Equal" does not mean "the same," and "different" is not "worse."
That said, what if Naomi Shamban is right, and "autism" isn't really a diagnosis at all, but simply a byproduct of high intelligence?
but neurotypical communication is the wrong way...
If I was a one year old and I saw these two I'd go mute.