Unfortunately, based on my personal experiences & observations, a lot of people LIE & PRETEND to also want commitment. But what they really mean is they just want the benefits, sans the responsibilities. It's so painful & heartbreaking to eventually find out that yet another person has taken you for a ride (i.e., taken advantage of your love & kindness or taken you for granted).
Yes my last boyfriend lied to me in the first date telling me he wanted to get remarried. 4 years later I found out he never intended to get remarried. I broke up with him the exact minute he admitted it.
Same here. Men play the part of Alpha males - strong, competent, career-focussed, popular, charismatic etc - then the moment a huge life event happens either in his life or yours, he disappears because he can't handle it! That's when you find out that, actually, he's either coercively controlled by his parents or child, or he has mummy issues or he's deeply in debt and hasn't told you, or he's got an estranged wife living in the next town. I experienced all of this with my ex and he shattered my life. Totally.
@@EdelweisSusiethere are a lot of shttt ppl out there, there is no denying. Many friends have met loves of their lives in their 40s and even 50s, you’re right about focusing on you and making a great life for yourself. Usually those that do, good things appear in life when you least expect it. :)
@@watchwoman16 Did he just say he wanted to remarry, or did he give you a time frame? As someone who has always had it in my plans, I'd propose in 2 year, no more than 3. Personally, I believe if people are putting in an (emphasis on) _earnest_ effort, we should be able to figure out if a person is worthy of marriage in a year, maybe even 6 months if cohabitating. A year gives me enough time to see if a woman's words and actions align, (if cohabitated) their living habits, her love language needs, and most importantly how they handle conflict.
What I've learned since my ex destroyed my life by wearing a mask for 4 years then abandoning me without a word, is that women need to closely observe a man's ACTIONS and not his words: how does he deal with crisis situations; is he there for YOU when you have a problem; what does he do to remedy the situation; are you top of his list of priorities or aren't you even on the list?? All these tell you about the INTEGRITY of the man: and if he isn't talking commitment after a year or so don't waste your time on him - move on.
Also, stop getting with men without your father/guardian being an active protector, vetter and active participant. Fish don't understand fishermen. The fishermen understand fishermen.
It’s not just a women vs. men thing. I’m currently having my heart ripped out by a dismissive avoidant lady who swears up and down that the fact that she won’t talk to me for days on end has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not she’s interested in me. “But oh by the way can we stop calling these dates”
Thank you 1000 times for including aging people’s photos in this. I am 70 and just broke off a 2 year relationship with someone I had once dated in high school. It hurts to my core and adding to that aging makes me feel like it’s over for me forever. I was settling for bread crumbs because I thought at my age it was all I could get. Especially after looking at my long life patterns. Your videos and especially this one has helped get me to the point of examining my worth and being disciplined enough to accept nothing less.
Hi - I just wanted to comment because you are definitely NOT too old to find the meaningful love you deserve!! And I think there are quite a lot of single people your age - my dad is 69 and we lost my mom 10 years ago. I know he has friends around his age who are looking to date, too. And they’re great people. ♥️♥️
@@sarahskicks thank you for your encouragement. I need to take a long time to grieve this breakup. As I’m sure your dad had to grieve the loss of your mom.
There is a unshakeable faith that I have based on consistent positive outcomes that God has granted me in my life. No matter the heartbreak and tough lessons, I am still here, still functioning and still given the chance to choose future outcomes. This faith keeps me from being jaded and helpless because as I am working on myself, so is the man that is meant for me. He is a man that I haven’t met and will not meet until I am ready. I worry less about anyone that comes into my life until then because at the very least, I am walking with Him that will always protect and reciprocate my love.
This is great, just remember that getting to know people and flirting are not mutually exclusive. We can not sleep with someone and still demonstrate our sexuality. Thanks for the comment!
Settling for breadcrumbs when people have been emotionally deprived for a long time is an easy choice especially when the fear of ending up alone kicks in. It takes a lot of courage, personal development work on self worth, respecting our own values and standing strong in our non-negotiables to decide that someone isn’t for us and realise very quickly the real incompatibilities so we minimise the energy investment in something that long term will be more painful and a waste of time. It’s not easy but it feels like by remaining single and yet open hearted, we have a space for the ‘right’ person to come in.❤
What I learned from Matthew: commitment is not the ring, the wedding, or some magic words uttered. Commitment is shown in actions. Does he SHOW your feelings, your wellbeing is as important to him as his is to yours? When you ask, for instance, to solve a problem, does he show the kind of willingness to help that someone would if you mattered to him? Do his priorities imply he's with you for the long term? Does he choose the course of action that truly benefits you and you both, or the course of action that only benefits him and his control over you ( gaslighting you, blaming you, belittling you for having this problem, etc)
When it comes to women, I’ve learned that she needs to solve her own problems like every adult should. I’m there to help, but not to parent her through being a responsible adult. I’ll hold her accountable and be supportive but not an enabler of immature or bad behavior. It’s also not my job to make her happy. She has to find that the only place anyone can, inside ourselves.
@@damienbatesThat’s true, the “problem” is that when she does she’ll probably decide that the/ any relationship isn’t really worth it for her. Men often say that they want women to be their “peace”. Isn’t that similar? Why can’t men be their own peace? It’s interesting how you interpreted the OP’s comment as babying or being responsible for another adult. I didn’t get that at all. I think that women are more accommodating within a relationship and are EXPECTED to be so. So the examples given in the OP’s comment are actually saying that not enough men ARE like this (the bar is quite low for men in a relationship) so look out for those actions which show that he is.
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 I completely disagree with the idea that he bar is set very low for men in a relationship. I think it's objectively the exact opposite in fact. Men have to work extremely hard to meet the laundry list of criteria women expect from men. If anything, it's men that have very low standards for the women they allow into their lives. They really need to wake up, learn how to appropriately vet them and require women to earn there place in their life just as much as women do. Neither side should be getting away with low effort. Men have to work for years to get to a place that women find them attractive for a long term relationship, where as women are born with a free ticket into the party and did absolutely nothing for it. They get so used to not having to work for that they've convinced themselves they are entitled to everything a man has to offer. Too many come to the relationship with very little to offer outside of what they were born with. What men mean by having peace in their lives is that they don't want women who are constantly adding drama and stress into the relationship because their bored or enjoy chaos as an emotional stimulus.
@@damienbates If men don't have a long laundry list it's because they get so much out of being with a woman, much of which is unacknowledged. It's telling that men want women to bring peace, but women discover that they have more peace OUTSIDE a relationship.
To find the right person is almost like winning the lottery. I have won it but I know how difficult it was. You know what you want. You need to communicate and have boundaries and in the end. Luck... Because to find somebody with character is the most difficult thing. I dated some guys and in the end I married my husband who's shown me over and over again what real love means. It's not the happy times but the ones where we fought together against difficulties. And still I know if he would be the reason for difficult times that I would walk away because I learned to love myself and knowing that I'm good and worthy enough. When I look around I see some really lovely relationship but also some fake ones where being single would be better. We can feel alone with or without a relationship. So value and cherish yourself first then a partner could be a wonderful add-on ❤
Fantastic video My five-year relationship ended a month ago. The decision to part ways with the love of my life is something that truly consumes me. Though it's all in vain, I've tried everything to get him back, and I can't fathom my life with anyone else. Even though I've made every effort to quit thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and can't stop thinking about him. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.
You're sharing it here because it cathartic to express your thoughts and feelings into the digital void. Perhaps you do not trust anyone around you enough or feel like you'd be a burden to vent to them.
@@Shanieceflordipay attention to so called spiritual counsellors /guru or whatever the name may be. It’s a scam. They use your grief to get money from you. To get better YOU need to work on yourself. Accept the pain / grieving etc to move on. The pain will be there during some time. See it more like clouds in the sky. First it’s storm then grey sky, then sky and less clouds.. Try to love yourself in the meantime. Give you hugs when you are down. See people. Do things you like. Workout …
You stating it here is a great way to let it out! And this breakup is so new. What you are feeling is right is perfectly natural. But sooner or later you will realize that loving someone who doesn't choose us eventually ceases to be love, and instead just becomes a story. There are better times ahead, in REAL life, not in the story you have in your mind. But it's ok to take time to get to that realization and that reality. Keep going. ❤
Well, things like this happens. I understand how you feel right now. Does bring us to a near tears on the streets, bar's, lounge and everywhere the road can possibly lead to, without any cares or probably,no control. Be good and take your time. In no time,I bet you'll be absolutely fine. And that's a truth for sure.❤
I feel like everyone here needs to read this. Unavailable people (people who are dating others) do not do last minute plans created by you. They will never be available for you on your time. If they are in a real committed relationship they absolutely won't be available on weekends and most nights especially closer to the weekends. Also, people already in relationships won't go out with you to local pubs near their home or living area. They will want to travel alllllll the way to you and go to quiet dive bars where it is less likely they will be noticed and disguise it as intimate conversations
When dating apps don’t have any matches for you and they recommend you adjust your filters, to me that always seemed like them saying lower your standards and maybe you’ll have more matches. No thanks I’ll pass.
Vet well Especially in the talking stage. Be disciplined by not involving your feelings. Establish that you are attracted to the person. That is enough. Then unravel their character and who they are as a person and potential partner before making a choice to commit
I should have left 4 years ago when ALL the red flags were there. I kept coming back to you Matthew, throughout the relationship and everything you said aligned completely with how I was being treated. But I kept giving the benefit of the doubt. I'm back for the last time as I dumped his ass 2 weeks ago. Gone for GOOD this time, thankfully! The moral of the story? Ladies.. please listen to Matthew he is speaking 100% the truth!
We come to these realizations in our own time, so please be kind to yourself Julie. I'm just really happy you're here now and have made that decision. 🧡
Matthew’s content at the moment definitely knows there’s a situationship abundance. Matthew thanks for your help, the epidemic of no commitment seriously sucks ☹️
So, I agree exactly what you said and already recognized I did that in the past. So, I stopped lowering my standards and have been single for seven years. It's the same type of people out there (not a scarcity mindset just reality) plus dealing with AI, false profiles, etc. Recently talking to a legitimate psychiatrist and honestly needs to speak to a psychiatrist himself ( ive raised my standards of only speaking to professionas). The convo is beyond odd. I went out with an FBI guy a month ago. He couldn't even keep his eyes off of other women- had no filter despite his training. So, I raised my standards and not lowered them (abundant), and now don't even have a companion. After 20 years, I'm so sick of this false mentality of 'the secret'...its all in our control. BS- love is the most difficult thing and one thing we can't control and even if we find it, it might not last. I say that being on this planet half a century- childless, no family, and honesty, I might even be somewhat at fault now because now I've been injured and can be inconsistent at times because I'm trying to remain detached in the beginning since I don't know the person. A lot more to this than just a positive mentality. However, even with my faults I'm put very put together in other ways but I can't find someone put together or consistent enough to even date...its a shit show out there. My next step is a matchmaker...or just going to church and putting it all in God's hands. The good thing is that due to my detachment in the beginning, the narcissists are not attracted to me.
Oddly enough the concept that 'just because someone else's reality is as such, it does not need to be mine too' has been swirling in my head the last two days 😊
Committed partners often provide a sense of emotional safety and stability, knowing they are invested in the relationship and willing to navigate challenges together.
I waited for more than a year before intimacy. I got to know him + thought we were best friends + soul mates. He still dumped me without reason or warning +then ghosted me
He was a dismissive avoidant attachment type very likely. I was dumped 6 weeks ago very coldly and abruptly after 3 1/2 years. Admittedly, I was way too accommodating, but only learned about this insecure attachment type post break up.
9:09 While I fully agree on the superficial metrics, there is a lot of truth in the statement "If you don't live up to them, you're going to have a really hard time." Unfortunately, we're not necessarily dealing with superficial stuff; we're dealing with the metrics of basic morals and values. The single biggest obstacle I've been against most of my life is finding compatible people who share my values, and the result is that I have like 3 friends who are absolutely amazing people, but it's incredibly rare that I make friends. And finding a partner? Forget it. Seems like most people are more interested in holding power and control than in having relationships, and I just don't care to deal with it.
I absolutely love the passionate way you speak about what you believe is true Matthew. I’ve just joined your LL Club. Thank you for the effort you put into creating videos like this one. I am proud to share that I showed discipline with the last man who came into my life - we had sexual chemistry but I didn’t get intimate with him. Felt wonderful to have his respect and feel in control. He ended up not being available, but it was fantastic dating practice!
Thank you for addressing the messaging on the internet these days. You are always improving my wisdom Matthew. Very grateful for having you lead us rightfully.😊 ❤
Right on time. I keep stating my standards that I want relationship, not friends with benefits.. Keep being strung along a little bit but 9/10 times I walk away less hurt than if I wasnt so focussed. I'm not sure I am comfortable with being put in the friend zone, I walk away. (If I accept it, it means Ive found better than what the man offered. Hey, thats why men do it to us women..) It means I am alone but I have more time to look after myself and my goals that dont revolve around the idea that I MUST have a relationship. Do I have to be the hot one..? Ive never been the hot one. I have turned into the independant one. I'm not upset about it. I wished I'd done it sooner. ..
@maryjoolson344 When things were going well, outta the blue he says, "let me go".. Puts another woman infront of me and lies about the person who encouraged him to speak to me.. Now he's angry too. I think I am ok on my own.
The video is so timely featured. You cannot imagine how much helpful it is, Matthew. I comment here and will be back next year to see how my life is evolved ❤
Thank you so much! I hope to see you at my virtual event on October 22nd (www.lovelifetraining.com) And I can't wait to see your progress by next year :)
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
Thank you, this video came at the right time, I’ve been thinking about what kind of relationship I actually want. Just last night I told myself “I will not get back with my ex bf because there’s no future for us” and today I’ve been in deep thoughts about which value I didn’t see in the relationship that I refused to take back the man that dumped me , I think I saw things more clearly this time. Thank you
Thanks for another great video, Matt. If I've understood this message correctly, the path to commitment is finding someone who actually has that in them now, before the relationship begins. In other words, they're already indexing on prerequisite values for a lasting relationship. I get that. Frustratingly, they are hard to find. I'm clearly not putting myself in front of enough people. 😏
Life is complex, we meet people at all different stages of their development, and some will be more ready than others. But as a starting point, we need to find someone who truly values what's valuable about us. Our core character traits, and what we have to give. Then we need to watch to see if the people who value that are able to invest on the level that we are willing too. I'll be going into this much more on the 22nd October at my virtual event. Come join us! (www.lovelifetraining.com)
My question to you is, how does one find love and/or commitment at 60 years old. Men in my age group are mentally too old, tired, don't want to travel (I work for an airlines) Younger men don't want commitment, and the only reason they are interested in older women is because of sex. I'd almost rather stay single and be lonely.
I just released an entire course on this in my Love Life membership. I hope you can join us when you're ready because it will really help you. In the meantime, come join us for free on October 22nd for "Casual to committed"! You can register here: www.lovelifetraining.com. Hope to see you there Louise!
Wonderful video My partnership of five years ended a month ago. When my true love decided to part ways with me, it truly is the only thing on my mind. I can't fathom my life with anyone else, and even though I've tried everything to get him back, it's all in vain. Despite my best efforts to put him out of my thoughts, I can't help but miss him and think about him all the time. I could not really tell you why I am saying this.
Thank you for being inclusive of gay people in your book, talks, and this video. I appreciate it! Just finished your book and will be going through it a second time!
Perfect video! Opened up my eyes! I definitely need more discipline and stop saying yes for all the shit scraps I get !!! You’re the best Matthew ! Very well said! ❤
Matthew, thank you so much for this. I'm not at all in a place of dating, but this helps me with my own history in that realm. More importantly this video some directly to a big struggle I've got in the vocational and work world right now. Tons of childhood issues there too, but this language applies directly to the inner voices and hangups I've had about starting over after losing my career and on the brink of bankruptcy due to recent major heath crisis.
Two of my friends went through horrible divorces very early in their marriages. Ended up being really expensive for both the guys. I think stories like these also scare people away from commitment.
. Hi I'm. Leslie. Are you still single?. And are you available?. And how old are you?.. I'm. A half. Mexican from my mom's side. And half. White from my dads side.😊❤
I haven't lowered my standards (honesty, integrity, respectful, kind, religious, and someone who claims to want serious commitment) at all and I also now almost never date because of it. I can't seem to encounter anyone who wants to actually commit to anything. It's absolutely horrid. Just trying to have a serious conversation with someone is next to impossible as well. I'm starting to wonder if people don't actually understand what they say they want. I just got broken up with by someone who claimed that I have all of the qualities he was looking for (the same ones I'm looking for in return) and that he liked me a lot. It happened two days after he crossed a boundary of mine. I told him in a kind way that I didn't like what he did (I even explained that we're humans and we make mistakes and that's natural, because I could see that he took it badly that I was unhappy with he did and I didn't want him to be hard on himself for it). He threw it all away just because of that! I'm confounded. So when one finds exactly what they want, even if there's ONE misunderstanding, they'll abandon the relationship rather than having a constructive conversation and move on!?
Matt you just reignited my hope for love again. Man it's been a frikken dawg fight.but nonetheless thank you for what you do and how you do it. I'm really excited to🎉 go out there again. Much gracious ❤❤❤
You said my (one of, I guess) favourite word! Though I am also a Jocko fan, (self)discipline was a personal core value of mine before knowing him. I have often been complimented for my discipline from family and aquaintances. Unfortunately from my experience, being a man, having disciplined standards or preferences is not well-recieved.
I've come to realize over the years that alongside helping people develop personal confidence, this is the core of my work. I appreciate you picking up on the phrase!
@@thematthewhussey it's what I do in the corporate world ...that's why the nuances of your work is so incredible. I don't think people can really even appreciate it... and why it resonates with me so deeply .....my brand is The Human Quotient in business... relationships in the workplace👍
Question for Matthew: I have just found your TH-cam account and really like your clips about relationship/dating advice. I looked back at your previous videos as saw titles similar to “what text to send that makes men go crazy about you” etc. which made my nose wrinkle a bit - would you say there are some advice you given in the past that your know disagree with or have changed your thought around? This is not to criticize only a curious question.
THANK YOU. There are dating "gurus" on YT who say it's all about the sex, the transaction, how hot he/she is, etc. All superficiality. Then we wonder why relationships don't last.
I‘ve been into personal development for more many years and have been working on my commitment issues and I experience is that most men are not. So I think I have to accept a men who is at a different point concerning this area. But for me this means I have to take first steps, right? Because I got the feeling that someone is interested but has trauma commitment issues. Because I think that there is not a perceived but a real shortage in men who are self-aware and self-reflected.
Oh Matthew, You’re so Great. I nearly mad‘n Accident, when a certain Guy rang me. I got a Choc, stopped my Car and cried. I didn’t want that at all, after 20 Years having a partner, who never wanted even a Kiss. ( I first was very confused, but proud, left him allone, stopped wanting a Kiss😂😂😂) He was a very nice Guy and I stayed with him till his Death 2022. I never thought my Body had still a deep longing of this kind . now, I‘m so depressed „falling in that Situation“, knowing this is an Illusion. Still hard to leave, always popping up again and again.
However, I find that I am not interested in most people, and I am not sure what attracts me. When I see a person's photo and feel something, when we meet, I also feel that he is sincere, but this person is either emotionally unavailable or does not want a long-term serious relationship. Although I don't really think that a long-term serious relationship is the only option for me, what I need is a relationship that both parties will invest in and take seriously, no matter how people define this relationship. I don't care whether this relationship is half a year or 10 years. I just hope it is a relationship that both parties are invest. Sometimes I wonder, is it DNA that makes the decision for me? Or is it trauma bond?
So the question is what = a so called real committed relationship? If a real relationship only = following the very narrow relationship escalator which clearly does not suit everyone, it may be an issue because humans are not a homogeneous group.
I am 71 and I look 45. I attend my church’s dances for 41 and up. None of the older men will ask me to dance, only the younger guys. I don’t know what to do. I worry about how many years younger should I go.
It’s so extremely unsatisfying to say “no” to somebody who can just turn around and agree with you that they never cared in the first place and that you should leave. It triggers me into trying to save the connection.
Hey there ❤ we’re so sorry to hear Matthew AI isn’t working! Please email our support team at support@matthewhussey.com and they’ll do their best to help you out! -Bianca, MH team
How can I ask someone for dating him without forcing myself on him and I could observe him on fb that he might be good fit for me , after realizing he has sams values I have , how can I ask someone if he wants try to know me or date me ??and for my end I would love to know him better too, should I go ahead and asking him honestly straight forward ?
Hard to tell what is happening from what you say. But, you don’t know someone and their values from a Facebook page. That said, if the person lives in the same town as you do, just ask if he wants to meet up sometime. Your comment is oozing a bit of over investment in your feelings… this person, you don’t know them… no need to over do it by saying your feelings … which should be… hey, you seem interesting, want to grab a drink.
Simple, use the word responsibility in your conversation. If you had a conservative mom or dad, would you dare introduce them? Start with the intention of marriage and work backward. Write down everything you are seeking in a wife or husband. Be clear and focused. The Orthodox have been doing this for thousands of years. You can, too.
Good video......i understand ALMOST all of it. I've always thought having a FWB to fill needs until someone worth getting serious about comes along is okay.... Its video is making me reevaluate that mindset.....maybe not change, but at least reevaluate. Thank u 🙂
Deal with it by leaving. Have enough self worth and respect for Yourself and say no to bare minimum and breadcrumbs. DA are so traumatised with little to no accountability to grow. You'll get dragged along in their undertow.
@@rubyshoes1032 Agreed. I had to establish a boundary and told him we're friends for now to stop the love-bombing and push-and-pull dynamic which was very hurtful. It improved our connection. The reason I gave him another chance was because he committed to therapy... but last week, he had a setback and said he was considering to quit. His avoidance started after his deployment in Afghanistan. So he's also dealing with PTSD and whatnot. I don't know if he quit going to therapy, but I think that's my ultimate dealbreaker to not want more out of this 'friendship'.
@@comradeleppi2000 Well🫢 i'm starting my 2nd year of law school and we have these study groups, where we basically have to attend to understand our lectures. So in the first year me and this guy ended up in the same group twice out of 500 people. We never got the oppurtunity to talk because i always left so early. BUT when I tell you he's staring at me non stop at our lectures & was staring at those study groups too. Idk I don't want to get my hopes up. But maybe I should make a tiiny move, maybe a smile guys. Cuz i do have an rbf 😭😭 and a friend told me "the reason you're single is that you're hella pretty and probably too intimitading" and i'm like "but i want him to approach me". Anyways i've been single for a long time now and i love it. The peaceful acedemic life chose me, so i'm rly picky about the people in my life. Hope everyone is doing great ✨️
As a 41 year old man I constantly have to fight the notion in my mind that single modern women absolutely suck. I’m losing faith day by day. Don’t get me started on the apps…
Nah man, that's a story. There are wonderful people out there. It's not about men or women, it's about people, and there are wonderful people, and not so wonderful people everywhere in life. Our job is to find the wonderful ones, and we won't find them by being the kind of man or woman who writes off an entire gender.
That's what we women think but we have to hold out that there's amazing men.... and believe it and only accept that but know we need to be stellar too!
@@thematthewhussey Thanks and yes I agree. Just seems like all the decent ones at my age are in relationships and the single ones are self entitled or have a lot of baggage or are emotionally immature. It’s like disappointment after disappointment. Just have to keep putting myself out there and be patient (I know I’m not perfect either). 🙏🏻
@@jennifersinatra5743 there’s also a lot of negative crap on the internet so I’m going to filter that out. Modern dating seems so complicated with games being played all the time. I swear 10/15 years ago it wasn’t like this.
Hi . Matt!. How are you doing? I'm . Leslie. And I'm a . Beautiful young . And. Single woman who really would like to find a nice and kind caring man one who cares about people's feelings. And who cares about moral values which I care about. How about you?. Do you care about these things?. And I also . Love to cook . Mexican food. I make homemade flour tortillas. And homemade corn tortillas and I also bake bread etc. And I know how to make homemade guacamole. Do you like Mexican food?
That is so true. Women jump into sex WAY too quickly to their own detriment . Take your time to find out who they are, their values, their goals etc. That is nothing you learn in a few dates. A solid friendship first can lead to a serious loving relationship. Any guy who will “ hit and run” after a few dates is because you developed no real connection and there are hundreds of women just like you who will also get dumped quickly. Value yourself and hold back on intimacy until you really know if you want him and play the right cards.
It's not that there's "none", but it's that there's so few that most women won't get matched with one. We get burned by the users, avoidants, and narcissists and after a while there's just no desire to date anymore. The sex is not even worth it because it's usually bad.
Calm down Mr Hussey🤪🌸. Unfortunately, age and looks play a HUGE role. All you gentlemen who claim age and looks do not matter, have thin young and beautiful partners. Just saying and being a little naughty.
Unfortunately, based on my personal experiences & observations, a lot of people LIE & PRETEND to also want commitment. But what they really mean is they just want the benefits, sans the responsibilities. It's so painful & heartbreaking to eventually find out that yet another person has taken you for a ride (i.e., taken advantage of your love & kindness or taken you for granted).
Yes my last boyfriend lied to me in the first date telling me he wanted to get remarried. 4 years later I found out he never intended to get remarried. I broke up with him the exact minute he admitted it.
Same here. Men play the part of Alpha males - strong, competent, career-focussed, popular, charismatic etc - then the moment a huge life event happens either in his life or yours, he disappears because he can't handle it! That's when you find out that, actually, he's either coercively controlled by his parents or child, or he has mummy issues or he's deeply in debt and hasn't told you, or he's got an estranged wife living in the next town. I experienced all of this with my ex and he shattered my life. Totally.
@@EdelweisSusiethere are a lot of shttt ppl out there, there is no denying. Many friends have met loves of their lives in their 40s and even 50s, you’re right about focusing on you and making a great life for yourself. Usually those that do, good things appear in life when you least expect it. :)
Nicely put, clear and concise.❤ This is exactly what happened to me too.😢
@@watchwoman16 Did he just say he wanted to remarry, or did he give you a time frame? As someone who has always had it in my plans, I'd propose in 2 year, no more than 3. Personally, I believe if people are putting in an (emphasis on) _earnest_ effort, we should be able to figure out if a person is worthy of marriage in a year, maybe even 6 months if cohabitating. A year gives me enough time to see if a woman's words and actions align, (if cohabitated) their living habits, her love language needs, and most importantly how they handle conflict.
I read that Lincoln said this: “Discipline is a choice between what you want now and what you want most.”
I remember this daily.
I chose myself first, still do. Did the work, changed my vibe. It worked. Not nearly as many superficial people showing up now.
love love love this
❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉
What I've learned since my ex destroyed my life by wearing a mask for 4 years then abandoning me without a word, is that women need to closely observe a man's ACTIONS and not his words: how does he deal with crisis situations; is he there for YOU when you have a problem; what does he do to remedy the situation; are you top of his list of priorities or aren't you even on the list?? All these tell you about the INTEGRITY of the man: and if he isn't talking commitment after a year or so don't waste your time on him - move on.
Also, stop getting with men without your father/guardian being an active protector, vetter and active participant.
Fish don't understand fishermen. The fishermen understand fishermen.
💯
Agreed.
It’s not just a women vs. men thing. I’m currently having my heart ripped out by a dismissive avoidant lady who swears up and down that the fact that she won’t talk to me for days on end has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not she’s interested in me. “But oh by the way can we stop calling these dates”
@@AnonymousAssassin7 I would hate for my parents to have a say in who I date. They had a terrible marriage and have no idea what boundaries are.
Thank you 1000 times for including aging people’s photos in this. I am 70 and just broke off a 2 year relationship with someone I had once dated in high school. It hurts to my core and adding to that aging makes me feel like it’s over for me forever.
I was settling for bread crumbs because I thought at my age it was all I could get. Especially after looking at my long life patterns.
Your videos and especially this one has helped get me to the point of examining my worth and being disciplined enough to accept nothing less.
Hi - I just wanted to comment because you are definitely NOT too old to find the meaningful love you deserve!! And I think there are quite a lot of single people your age - my dad is 69 and we lost my mom 10 years ago. I know he has friends around his age who are looking to date, too. And they’re great people. ♥️♥️
@@sarahskicks thank you for your encouragement. I need to take a long time to grieve this breakup. As I’m sure your dad had to grieve the loss of your mom.
I love this comment. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave it, and I'm so happy you felt seen by the video. ❤
I have a girlfriend who found love in her 80's and got married!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💪🏼🔥🔥🔥💗💗💗👑👑👑
There is a unshakeable faith that I have based on consistent positive outcomes that God has granted me in my life. No matter the heartbreak and tough lessons, I am still here, still functioning and still given the chance to choose future outcomes. This faith keeps me from being jaded and helpless because as I am working on myself, so is the man that is meant for me. He is a man that I haven’t met and will not meet until I am ready. I worry less about anyone that comes into my life until then because at the very least, I am walking with Him that will always protect and reciprocate my love.
What a beautiful post
For me it’s as simple as not sleeping with men and getting to know them in a platonic way before moving into romance/intimacy.
💯💯💯correct! And these are the best, most lasting relationships!
This is great, just remember that getting to know people and flirting are not mutually exclusive. We can not sleep with someone and still demonstrate our sexuality. Thanks for the comment!
Agree with you
I like this but I feel like this is a recipe for the friendzone
3 month minimum before intimacy plus STD test. They run! Quick vetting.
Settling for breadcrumbs when people have been emotionally deprived for a long time is an easy choice especially when the fear of ending up alone kicks in. It takes a lot of courage, personal development work on self worth, respecting our own values and standing strong in our non-negotiables to decide that someone isn’t for us and realise very quickly the real incompatibilities so we minimise the energy investment in something that long term will be more painful and a waste of time. It’s not easy but it feels like by remaining single and yet open hearted, we have a space for the ‘right’ person to come in.❤
What I learned from Matthew: commitment is not the ring, the wedding, or some magic words uttered. Commitment is shown in actions. Does he SHOW your feelings, your wellbeing is as important to him as his is to yours? When you ask, for instance, to solve a problem, does he show the kind of willingness to help that someone would if you mattered to him? Do his priorities imply he's with you for the long term? Does he choose the course of action that truly benefits you and you both, or the course of action that only benefits him and his control over you ( gaslighting you, blaming you, belittling you for having this problem, etc)
When it comes to women, I’ve learned that she needs to solve her own problems like every adult should. I’m there to help, but not to parent her through being a responsible adult. I’ll hold her accountable and be supportive but not an enabler of immature or bad behavior. It’s also not my job to make her happy. She has to find that the only place anyone can, inside ourselves.
@@damienbatesThat’s true, the “problem” is that when she does she’ll probably decide that the/ any relationship isn’t really worth it for her. Men often say that they want women to be their “peace”. Isn’t that similar? Why can’t men be their own peace?
It’s interesting how you interpreted the OP’s comment as babying or being responsible for another adult. I didn’t get that at all. I think that women are more accommodating within a relationship and are EXPECTED to be so. So the examples given in the OP’s comment are actually saying that not enough men ARE like this (the bar is quite low for men in a relationship) so look out for those actions which show that he is.
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 I completely disagree with the idea that he bar is set very low for men in a relationship. I think it's objectively the exact opposite in fact. Men have to work extremely hard to meet the laundry list of criteria women expect from men. If anything, it's men that have very low standards for the women they allow into their lives. They really need to wake up, learn how to appropriately vet them and require women to earn there place in their life just as much as women do. Neither side should be getting away with low effort. Men have to work for years to get to a place that women find them attractive for a long term relationship, where as women are born with a free ticket into the party and did absolutely nothing for it. They get so used to not having to work for that they've convinced themselves they are entitled to everything a man has to offer. Too many come to the relationship with very little to offer outside of what they were born with.
What men mean by having peace in their lives is that they don't want women who are constantly adding drama and stress into the relationship because their bored or enjoy chaos as an emotional stimulus.
@@damienbates If men don't have a long laundry list it's because they get so much out of being with a woman, much of which is unacknowledged.
It's telling that men want women to bring peace, but women discover that they have more peace OUTSIDE a relationship.
To find the right person is almost like winning the lottery. I have won it but I know how difficult it was. You know what you want. You need to communicate and have boundaries and in the end. Luck... Because to find somebody with character is the most difficult thing. I dated some guys and in the end I married my husband who's shown me over and over again what real love means. It's not the happy times but the ones where we fought together against difficulties. And still I know if he would be the reason for difficult times that I would walk away because I learned to love myself and knowing that I'm good and worthy enough. When I look around I see some really lovely relationship but also some fake ones where being single would be better. We can feel alone with or without a relationship. So value and cherish yourself first then a partner could be a wonderful add-on ❤
Fantastic video My five-year relationship ended a month ago. The decision to part ways with the love of my life is something that truly consumes me. Though it's all in vain, I've tried everything to get him back, and I can't fathom my life with anyone else. Even though I've made every effort to quit thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and can't stop thinking about him. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.
You're sharing it here because it cathartic to express your thoughts and feelings into the digital void. Perhaps you do not trust anyone around you enough or feel like you'd be a burden to vent to them.
@@Shanieceflordipay attention to so called spiritual counsellors /guru or whatever the name may be. It’s a scam. They use your grief to get money from you.
To get better YOU need to work on yourself. Accept the pain / grieving etc to move on.
The pain will be there during some time. See it more like clouds in the sky. First it’s storm then grey sky, then sky and less clouds..
Try to love yourself in the meantime. Give you hugs when you are down.
See people. Do things you like. Workout …
Sorry for what happened to you, but he wasn’t the love of your life. If he would had been, he still would be with you.
You stating it here is a great way to let it out! And this breakup is so new. What you are feeling is right is perfectly natural. But sooner or later you will realize that loving someone who doesn't choose us eventually ceases to be love, and instead just becomes a story. There are better times ahead, in REAL life, not in the story you have in your mind. But it's ok to take time to get to that realization and that reality. Keep going. ❤
Well, things like this happens. I understand how you feel right now. Does bring us to a near tears on the streets, bar's, lounge and everywhere the road can possibly lead to, without any cares or probably,no control. Be good and take your time. In no time,I bet you'll be absolutely fine. And that's a truth for sure.❤
I feel like everyone here needs to read this.
Unavailable people (people who are dating others) do not do last minute plans created by you.
They will never be available for you on your time.
If they are in a real committed relationship they absolutely won't be available on weekends and most nights especially closer to the weekends.
Also, people already in relationships won't go out with you to local pubs near their home or living area. They will want to travel alllllll the way to you and go to quiet dive bars where it is less likely they will be noticed and disguise it as intimate conversations
When dating apps don’t have any matches for you and they recommend you adjust your filters, to me that always seemed like them saying lower your standards and maybe you’ll have more matches. No thanks I’ll pass.
Vet well Especially in the talking stage. Be disciplined by not involving your feelings. Establish that you are attracted to the person. That is enough. Then unravel their character and who they are as a person and potential partner before making a choice to commit
vulnerability has to be mutual and dialectical. otherwise the person will feel they shared too much a resent you for it.
I should have left 4 years ago when ALL the red flags were there. I kept coming back to you Matthew, throughout the relationship and everything you said aligned completely with how I was being treated. But I kept giving the benefit of the doubt.
I'm back for the last time as I dumped his ass 2 weeks ago. Gone for GOOD this time, thankfully! The moral of the story? Ladies.. please listen to Matthew he is speaking 100% the truth!
We come to these realizations in our own time, so please be kind to yourself Julie. I'm just really happy you're here now and have made that decision. 🧡
Matthew’s content at the moment definitely knows there’s a situationship abundance. Matthew thanks for your help, the epidemic of no commitment seriously sucks ☹️
So, I agree exactly what you said and already recognized I did that in the past. So, I stopped lowering my standards and have been single for seven years. It's the same type of people out there (not a scarcity mindset just reality) plus dealing with AI, false profiles, etc. Recently talking to a legitimate psychiatrist and honestly needs to speak to a psychiatrist himself ( ive raised my standards of only speaking to professionas). The convo is beyond odd. I went out with an FBI guy a month ago. He couldn't even keep his eyes off of other women- had no filter despite his training. So, I raised my standards and not lowered them (abundant), and now don't even have a companion. After 20 years, I'm so sick of this false mentality of 'the secret'...its all in our control. BS- love is the most difficult thing and one thing we can't control and even if we find it, it might not last. I say that being on this planet half a century- childless, no family, and honesty, I might even be somewhat at fault now because now I've been injured and can be inconsistent at times because I'm trying to remain detached in the beginning since I don't know the person. A lot more to this than just a positive mentality. However, even with my faults I'm put very put together in other ways but I can't find someone put together or consistent enough to even date...its a shit show out there. My next step is a matchmaker...or just going to church and putting it all in God's hands. The good thing is that due to my detachment in the beginning, the narcissists are not attracted to me.
Oddly enough the concept that 'just because someone else's reality is as such, it does not need to be mine too' has been swirling in my head the last two days 😊
Yes!
Committed partners often provide a sense of emotional safety and stability, knowing they are invested in the relationship and willing to navigate challenges together.
I waited for more than a year before intimacy. I got to know him + thought we were best friends + soul mates. He still dumped me without reason or warning +then ghosted me
That's awful. :( I'm so sorry you went through that.
He was a dismissive avoidant attachment type very likely. I was dumped 6 weeks ago very coldly and abruptly after 3 1/2 years. Admittedly, I was way too accommodating, but only learned about this insecure attachment type post break up.
I like the "We also have to give a little more credit to the world" point. I absolutely agree! We only see and attract what we believe. Great video!!!
I won't lower my standards for anyone!!!
Nothing change in life until we put the work in ourselves first! Love your videos!
9:09 While I fully agree on the superficial metrics, there is a lot of truth in the statement "If you don't live up to them, you're going to have a really hard time." Unfortunately, we're not necessarily dealing with superficial stuff; we're dealing with the metrics of basic morals and values. The single biggest obstacle I've been against most of my life is finding compatible people who share my values, and the result is that I have like 3 friends who are absolutely amazing people, but it's incredibly rare that I make friends. And finding a partner? Forget it. Seems like most people are more interested in holding power and control than in having relationships, and I just don't care to deal with it.
I absolutely love the passionate way you speak about what you believe is true Matthew.
I’ve just joined your LL Club.
Thank you for the effort you put into creating videos like this one.
I am proud to share that I showed discipline with the last man who came into my life - we had sexual chemistry but I didn’t get intimate with him.
Felt wonderful to have his respect and feel in control. He ended up not being available, but it was fantastic dating practice!
Thank you for addressing the messaging on the internet these days. You are always improving my wisdom Matthew. Very grateful for having you lead us rightfully.😊 ❤
Right on time. I keep stating my standards that I want relationship, not friends with benefits.. Keep being strung along a little bit but 9/10 times I walk away less hurt than if I wasnt so focussed.
I'm not sure I am comfortable with being put in the friend zone, I walk away. (If I accept it, it means Ive found better than what the man offered. Hey, thats why men do it to us women..)
It means I am alone but I have more time to look after myself and my goals that dont revolve around the idea that I MUST have a relationship.
Do I have to be the hot one..? Ive never been the hot one. I have turned into the independant one. I'm not upset about it. I wished I'd done it sooner.
..
There's a lot to be said for relationship grounded in friendship, though ❤
@maryjoolson344 When things were going well, outta the blue he says, "let me go".. Puts another woman infront of me and lies about the person who encouraged him to speak to me.. Now he's angry too.
I think I am ok on my own.
The video is so timely featured. You cannot imagine how much helpful it is, Matthew. I comment here and will be back next year to see how my life is evolved ❤
Thank you so much! I hope to see you at my virtual event on October 22nd (www.lovelifetraining.com)
And I can't wait to see your progress by next year :)
I would like to be myself with the potential partner and that’s what counts so much for me rn - I don’t want to change for anyone
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you.
I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.
I promise you will not regret it.
I just searched for Father Akunna online. impressive thank you so much one again ❤
Thank you, this video came at the right time, I’ve been thinking about what kind of relationship I actually want. Just last night I told myself “I will not get back with my ex bf because there’s no future for us” and today I’ve been in deep thoughts about which value I didn’t see in the relationship that I refused to take back the man that dumped me , I think I saw things more clearly this time. Thank you
Matthew, you are a blessing for many, including myself. I thank God for your videos.
Thanks for another great video, Matt. If I've understood this message correctly, the path to commitment is finding someone who actually has that in them now, before the relationship begins. In other words, they're already indexing on prerequisite values for a lasting relationship.
I get that. Frustratingly, they are hard to find. I'm clearly not putting myself in front of enough people. 😏
Life is complex, we meet people at all different stages of their development, and some will be more ready than others. But as a starting point, we need to find someone who truly values what's valuable about us. Our core character traits, and what we have to give. Then we need to watch to see if the people who value that are able to invest on the level that we are willing too. I'll be going into this much more on the 22nd October at my virtual event. Come join us! (www.lovelifetraining.com)
My question to you is, how does one find love and/or commitment at 60 years old. Men in my age group are mentally too old, tired, don't want to travel (I work for an airlines) Younger men don't want commitment, and the only reason they are interested in older women is because of sex. I'd almost rather stay single and be lonely.
I just released an entire course on this in my Love Life membership. I hope you can join us when you're ready because it will really help you. In the meantime, come join us for free on October 22nd for "Casual to committed"! You can register here: www.lovelifetraining.com. Hope to see you there Louise!
Wonderful video My partnership of five years ended a month ago. When my true love decided to part ways with me, it truly is the only thing on my mind. I can't fathom my life with anyone else, and even though I've tried everything to get him back, it's all in vain. Despite my best efforts to put him out of my thoughts, I can't help but miss him and think about him all the time. I could not really tell you why I am saying this.
I’m really sorry about your break up, we need to talk more about it and sooner or later you forget about him but it’s not easy
Wow! I can’t agree more with Matthew. Discipline is so important in relationships.
Thank you so much for this timely video!! It was so helpful and I’m excited to move forward with this vision!
You're welcome! Glad you found it so helpful Lula.
Thank you for being inclusive of gay people in your book, talks, and this video. I appreciate it! Just finished your book and will be going through it a second time!
Perfect video! Opened up my eyes! I definitely need more discipline and stop saying yes for all the shit scraps I get !!! You’re the best Matthew ! Very well said! ❤
This speech just feels so good
Thank you so much, Matthew! This video helped me a lot 😊
Greetings from Brazil 🍀
So glad! Thanks for being here!
Matthew, thank you so much for this. I'm not at all in a place of dating, but this helps me with my own history in that realm.
More importantly this video some directly to a big struggle I've got in the vocational and work world right now. Tons of childhood issues there too, but this language applies directly to the inner voices and hangups I've had about starting over after losing my career and on the brink of bankruptcy due to recent major heath crisis.
This is a great video and makes so much sense !
All the hard work you're putting in now will be worth it, you'll see.
@@stayhappylittlemermaid couldn’t agree more
Two of my friends went through horrible divorces very early in their marriages. Ended up being really expensive for both the guys. I think stories like these also scare people away from commitment.
You're so RIGHT Matt!! Thanks for reminding me of this important fact. I think this is one of your most important tutorials!!🙏🌈🌺
Thank you for this informative video Matthew. It came at the right time. Greetings from South Africa ❤️
today the girl I was dating for a couple of months "broke up" with me because she fell in love with me. Impressive.
. Hi I'm. Leslie. Are you still single?. And are you available?. And how old are you?.. I'm. A half. Mexican from my mom's side. And half. White from my dads side.😊❤
I haven't lowered my standards (honesty, integrity, respectful, kind, religious, and someone who claims to want serious commitment) at all and I also now almost never date because of it. I can't seem to encounter anyone who wants to actually commit to anything. It's absolutely horrid. Just trying to have a serious conversation with someone is next to impossible as well. I'm starting to wonder if people don't actually understand what they say they want. I just got broken up with by someone who claimed that I have all of the qualities he was looking for (the same ones I'm looking for in return) and that he liked me a lot. It happened two days after he crossed a boundary of mine. I told him in a kind way that I didn't like what he did (I even explained that we're humans and we make mistakes and that's natural, because I could see that he took it badly that I was unhappy with he did and I didn't want him to be hard on himself for it). He threw it all away just because of that! I'm confounded. So when one finds exactly what they want, even if there's ONE misunderstanding, they'll abandon the relationship rather than having a constructive conversation and move on!?
Thank you, Matthew. Love the encouragement at the end.❤
Thank you Mathew it helps a lot not just in case of love life but my life in general ❤️
You won't know until you experience it.. sad truth..
Thanks for this beautiful words mr. Matt
0:31 why people use people? Why would you do such a thing to someone? What is the root of this unkindness and toxicity
Matt you just reignited my hope for love again. Man it's been a frikken dawg fight.but nonetheless thank you for what you do and how you do it. I'm really excited to🎉 go out there again. Much gracious ❤❤❤
You said my (one of, I guess) favourite word! Though I am also a Jocko fan, (self)discipline was a personal core value of mine before knowing him. I have often been complimented for my discipline from family and aquaintances.
Unfortunately from my experience, being a man, having disciplined standards or preferences is not well-recieved.
Really? I'd love to know in what context you find your standards/discipline creates friction. Thanks for commenting!
great branding phrase "relational intelligence" 👍
I've come to realize over the years that alongside helping people develop personal confidence, this is the core of my work. I appreciate you picking up on the phrase!
@@thematthewhussey it's what I do in the corporate world ...that's why the nuances of your work is so incredible. I don't think people can really even appreciate it... and why it resonates with me so deeply .....my brand is The Human Quotient in business... relationships in the workplace👍
Wow. You’re videos are amazing 💚
I absolutely love this video. Beautifully put. 🌹
This video teaches a very valuable lesson!
I love this. Thank you Matthew
I hope I can see the lecture. I’m working at 2:00 in the afternoon on Tuesday , EST . Lol
Will this be able to be seen in a recorded version ?
Thank you Mathew. Great video really.
Relationships thrive when both people have similar "devotions" not discipline. Its not through retribution in which we thrive.
It’s not fear it’s lived experience. I went on many many dates and only one time got offered a real relationship.
Question for Matthew:
I have just found your TH-cam account and really like your clips about relationship/dating advice. I looked back at your previous videos as saw titles similar to “what text to send that makes men go crazy about you” etc. which made my nose wrinkle a bit - would you say there are some advice you given in the past that your know disagree with or have changed your thought around?
This is not to criticize only a curious question.
I just stopped dating bc I didn't like myself as a date for the other person. 😅
THANK YOU. There are dating "gurus" on YT who say it's all about the sex, the transaction, how hot he/she is, etc. All superficiality. Then we wonder why relationships don't last.
Yes exactly.
Thank you, Matthew.
I‘ve been into personal development for more many years and have been working on my commitment issues and I experience is that most men are not. So I think I have to accept a men who is at a different point concerning this area. But for me this means I have to take first steps, right? Because I got the feeling that someone is interested but has trauma commitment issues. Because I think that there is not a perceived but a real shortage in men who are self-aware and self-reflected.
Great Vid Matt
Thank you!
Thank you Matthew!!🙏
Oh Matthew, You’re so Great. I nearly mad‘n Accident, when a certain Guy rang me. I got a Choc, stopped my Car and cried. I didn’t want that at all, after 20 Years having a partner, who never wanted even a Kiss. ( I first was very confused, but proud, left him allone, stopped wanting a Kiss😂😂😂) He was a very nice Guy and I stayed with him till his Death 2022. I never thought my Body had still a deep longing of this kind . now, I‘m so depressed „falling in that Situation“, knowing this is an Illusion. Still hard to leave, always popping up again and again.
Good point...
What a beautiful video
However, I find that I am not interested in most people, and I am not sure what attracts me. When I see a person's photo and feel something, when we meet, I also feel that he is sincere, but this person is either emotionally unavailable or does not want a long-term serious relationship. Although I don't really think that a long-term serious relationship is the only option for me, what I need is a relationship that both parties will invest in and take seriously, no matter how people define this relationship. I don't care whether this relationship is half a year or 10 years. I just hope it is a relationship that both parties are invest. Sometimes I wonder, is it DNA that makes the decision for me? Or is it trauma bond?
14:09 Respect is Evergreen 🌲
One step back: how does one attract people period? I try and people ignore me and treat me like I'm invisible.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I love this video ❤
So the question is what = a so called real committed relationship? If a real relationship only = following the very narrow relationship escalator which clearly does not suit everyone, it may be an issue because humans are not a homogeneous group.
Today I was about to subscribe to FB Dating. Thanks God I immediately realised how stupid such a thing is.
Sorry, I know this is a channel for women's love advice but I just wanna appreciate how gorgeous this guy is! 😲
I am 71 and I look 45. I attend my church’s dances for 41 and up. None of the older men will ask me to dance, only the younger guys. I don’t know what to do. I worry about how many years younger should I go.
It’s so extremely unsatisfying to say “no” to somebody who can just turn around and agree with you that they never cared in the first place and that you should leave. It triggers me into trying to save the connection.
I have been there!! ❤
Matthew….your AI is not working. The website doesn’t work anymore properly.
Hey there ❤ we’re so sorry to hear Matthew AI isn’t working! Please email our support team at support@matthewhussey.com and they’ll do their best to help you out! -Bianca, MH team
Yeah it does. Just reload the site.
How can I ask someone for dating him without forcing myself on him and I could observe him on fb that he might be good fit for me , after realizing he has sams values I have , how can I ask someone if he wants try to know me or date me ??and for my end I would love to know him better too, should I go ahead and asking him honestly straight forward ?
Hard to tell what is happening from what you say. But, you don’t know someone and their values from a Facebook page. That said, if the person lives in the same town as you do, just ask if he wants to meet up sometime. Your comment is oozing a bit of over investment in your feelings… this person, you don’t know them… no need to over do it by saying your feelings … which should be… hey, you seem interesting, want to grab a drink.
You need your father to do that for you.
thank you thank you thank you - LOVE the truth bomb and the passsssssoin
I really was in the trap….i don’t know how to attract a person who is right for me 😢
Simple, use the word responsibility in your conversation. If you had a conservative mom or dad, would you dare introduce them? Start with the intention of marriage and work backward. Write down everything you are seeking in a wife or husband. Be clear and focused. The Orthodox have been doing this for thousands of years. You can, too.
Grazie
Good video......i understand ALMOST all of it. I've always thought having a FWB to fill needs until someone worth getting serious about comes along is okay.... Its video is making me reevaluate that mindset.....maybe not change, but at least reevaluate. Thank u 🙂
Dealing with a dismissive avoidant...
Deal with it by leaving. Have enough self worth and respect for Yourself and say no to bare minimum and breadcrumbs. DA are so traumatised with little to no accountability to grow. You'll get dragged along in their undertow.
@@rubyshoes1032 Agreed. I had to establish a boundary and told him we're friends for now to stop the love-bombing and push-and-pull dynamic which was very hurtful. It improved our connection. The reason I gave him another chance was because he committed to therapy... but last week, he had a setback and said he was considering to quit. His avoidance started after his deployment in Afghanistan. So he's also dealing with PTSD and whatnot. I don't know if he quit going to therapy, but I think that's my ultimate dealbreaker to not want more out of this 'friendship'.
Early and here for the tea. Guys I have a crush and it's been a hot minute since that happened lol
How? Spill the tea😂
Hope it works out
@@ElevateMyRelationships Thank you, hope so too
@@comradeleppi2000 Well🫢 i'm starting my 2nd year of law school and we have these study groups, where we basically have to attend to understand our lectures. So in the first year me and this guy ended up in the same group twice out of 500 people. We never got the oppurtunity to talk because i always left so early. BUT when I tell you he's staring at me non stop at our lectures & was staring at those study groups too. Idk I don't want to get my hopes up. But maybe I should make a tiiny move, maybe a smile guys. Cuz i do have an rbf 😭😭 and a friend told me "the reason you're single is that you're hella pretty and probably too intimitading" and i'm like "but i want him to approach me". Anyways i've been single for a long time now and i love it. The peaceful acedemic life chose me, so i'm rly picky about the people in my life. Hope everyone is doing great ✨️
@@comradeleppi2000 I replied with the story yesterday but youtube literally keeps deleting it smh 😭
Good morning! 💜💕
Morning!
If you make them wait months or years to build a solid foundation they just have other women on rotation. Options.
As a 41 year old man I constantly have to fight the notion in my mind that single modern women absolutely suck. I’m losing faith day by day. Don’t get me started on the apps…
Nah man, that's a story. There are wonderful people out there. It's not about men or women, it's about people, and there are wonderful people, and not so wonderful people everywhere in life. Our job is to find the wonderful ones, and we won't find them by being the kind of man or woman who writes off an entire gender.
That's what we women think but we have to hold out that there's amazing men.... and believe it and only accept that but know we need to be stellar too!
@@thematthewhussey Thanks and yes I agree. Just seems like all the decent ones at my age are in relationships and the single ones are self entitled or have a lot of baggage or are emotionally immature. It’s like disappointment after disappointment. Just have to keep putting myself out there and be patient (I know I’m not perfect either). 🙏🏻
@@jennifersinatra5743 there’s also a lot of negative crap on the internet so I’m going to filter that out. Modern dating seems so complicated with games being played all the time. I swear 10/15 years ago it wasn’t like this.
Hi . Matt!. How are you doing? I'm . Leslie. And I'm a . Beautiful young . And. Single woman who really would like to find a nice and kind caring man one who cares about people's feelings. And who cares about moral values which I care about. How about you?. Do you care about these things?. And I also . Love to cook . Mexican food. I make homemade flour tortillas. And homemade corn tortillas and I also bake bread etc. And I know how to make homemade guacamole. Do you like Mexican food?
that beautiful chess board !
The problem is men need the training. They go on looks and forget about anything else.
No guys these days want commited relationships! Who are we kidding. Guys just want no strings attached sex for free😢
That is so true. Women jump into sex WAY too quickly to their own detriment . Take your time to find out who they are, their values, their goals etc. That is nothing you learn in a few dates. A solid friendship first can lead to a serious loving relationship. Any guy who will “ hit and run” after a few dates is because you developed no real connection and there are hundreds of women just like you who will also get dumped quickly. Value yourself and hold back on intimacy until you really know if you want him and play the right cards.
🙋♂
It's not that there's "none", but it's that there's so few that most women won't get matched with one. We get burned by the users, avoidants, and narcissists and after a while there's just no desire to date anymore. The sex is not even worth it because it's usually bad.
Calm down Mr Hussey🤪🌸. Unfortunately, age and looks play a HUGE role. All you gentlemen who claim age and looks do not matter, have thin young and beautiful partners. Just saying and being a little naughty.
And his looks are a major part of this channel's popularity. All the popular internet gurus look great.