Mating with Everything that Moves in Stellaris
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 เม.ย. 2019
- i really need to stop digging myself into these holes, don't i
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Crusader Kings II
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#stellaris#gaming#memes - เกม
subscribe to gain access to next poll
(just kidding, of course. youtube might decide to show my polls to you even if you aren't subbed. Thanks, youtube)
Now, we only need EU4, Vic2 and HoI4
Your *GOING* to make this a series
Yeah, I'm not even subbed and it keeps giving me the polls
opposite of inbred only challenge.
lol literaly just alabama
"mating with everything that moves" is basically zeus's motto
And if it doesn't move, you can move it yourself...
Come get me sky daddy
not my joke but
Zeus to Ares: YOU ARE NOT MY SON!
Ares: Bet you dont get to say that often.
@TheHobbitMonster tbh i dont think zeus would give a damn xd
@TheHobbitMonster He would probably be even more into it the bastard.
So basically is just playing as Commander Shepard.
Zarathustra Dynamite Or Captain Kirk.
We'll bang, OK?
@@petesperandio Dammit, you beat me to it.
*claps*
I'am scared that so many people had the same idea
Pretty sure Ghengis Khan tried this when he was alive.
The difference is he didn't give anyone a choice.
@@SirDankleberry actually he did. Smash or get game overed.
The Virgin Chad Imperium vs. the Chad Incel Coalition
@DEVIN POHL the turns have tabled!
waitaminute...
I N C O R R E C T
CDT Gaming Their souls belong to Slaanesh now...
@@lessthanstellar561 *melancholy of no luigi*
almost disappointed that the Ruler title ISN'T "Supreme Gentleman"
AUTISMUS MAXIMUS alright Eliot
faction should have been named The Beta Uprising
Capital world /r9k/
"Mi'lady."
And instead of senators its niceguys
"Vote Jeff your next niceguy"
not /r9k/
Vale:talks about how his viewers vote for him to commit war crimes
*multiple videos that consist of war crimes he didn't put a vote on
You don't understand, it was our combined minds that made him do it when we forced him via mind power
@@cursedfate838 we just lost control when he made this video
“War crimes are fine as long as you win the war.” -United States
"Report to the ship as soon as possible"
"We'll bang OK?"
yesssss
I'm Garrus Vakarian, and this is my rectum.
when you have so many half species that it looks like a color wheel rather than a pie chart, you won.
Vale: uploads a video featuring some kind of warcrime, crime against humanity, or some other inhumane/immoral behaviour
Viewers: gIb mOrE
The funny part is how weirded out he gets by it
Yes yes 🙌
6:22 "What if instead of convincing them to mate with us, we take them by force?"
-Valefisk, 24.04.2019
Spoken like a true incel.
Getting a bit too real with incel tactics there...
@@itsonlyafleshwound9024 lmao; if it works then it works.
interstellar rape
The r@pe of Africa except it's the entire galaxy
"let's absorb some xenos"
*takes territory*
"wait how did they get in?"
You should have named the breeding planet
/d/
Start with /d/, then slowly work your way through all the adult boards.
No 8==D
@Иван Распутин /d/ is for degenerates
@@Sir_Bucket /d/addysgirl
"Cause if we have a Chad and an Incel, what do we get? A normal human being."
YOU MEAN A NORMIE, DON'T YOU ?!
Ewww NPC trash REEEEEEEE
/s
GET OUT NORMIE!
@Jasper Atkinson ŔŘĖĘĚĔƏÈÉÊËĒ
YEET THAT OUT OF THE WINDOW
Makes a sex machine species and doesn't choose Deviants.....
Hahaha
@@Steve-dm3qx
Oh yesss
We have learned from the fall of the Eldar
These guys may be incels, but they're not NTR cucks. Vanilla or nothing.
@@combativeThinker TOMBOY OR NOTHING.
"Auschwitz-class Battleship ready to go commander !"
Crew's origin is planet /pol/
Oh no...
Underrated comment from our lord and savior.
holy shit he's here
"Since the dawn of time, humankind has stared up at the cosmos with a mixture of trepidation and wonder. Turning our curious eyes toward the glittering stars speckled around our little blue planet, we have often asked ourselves the eternal question:
"Are we alone in this universe? What is out there? More importantly… can we bone it?"
(The quote belongs to the Subverse videogame)
Is it an adult game or a comedy game?
@@endlessboardgame985 Both
@@endlessboardgame985 not a game yet 2021 boys
"introduce humans into your fantasy world, and what do you get? Half-elves, half-orcs..."
If elves were real i would probably try to marry one and have kids with an elven woman. There is something so nice about elven ears that i really like.
@Derren Aalis How do you know that I would like nibble on their ears while fuccing her from the side???
@Derren Aalis I hope that with genetic engineering we humans could achieve our dreams and all have beautiful pointy ears...
@Derren Aalis Why more livers, when genetic engineering reaches a certain point we might design an entirely new organ to replace a liver that would be far more resistant and efficient. Our body is really bad when it comes to being efficient (for example nerve that controls our face actually doesn't connect to brain directly,instead it goes down the neck underneath the lung tube things and back through the neck only to connect to the face nerves. That's one example. You can look it up I think and you will see just how many body parts are just really inefficient and wasteful. if we designed a human body and made it flawless (in cooling, nutrient distribution, regent speed, better immune system, etc) We could possible end up with a human that could handle just about anything
Even run 10 kilometres straight if need be
"My grandpa fought in World War III!"
"My grandpa founded his own company!"
"Well... my grandpa mated characters in videogames. "
Ok boomer
Pornhub of Your civilization have to have huuuge amount of categories.
Male human in tyranid
I want to mate with everything that moves but they always forget my name isn't help...
Alex IsHereNowToSpewNonsense take my Fricking like and leave
@@janfloresrodrigues624 👍 Already half way out of the door
Alex you mean your doing it to the door
@@amuzakused118 Through the peephole. Everyone in my apartment building is mortified..
Just tell them you were using a hammer
I swear, I try to do a xenophile empire every single time, but then the Voice of the God-Emperor of Mankind rumbles in my head, demanding to know why I am steering towards heresy.
Also, why the ruler isn't called NiceGuy?
*Points to the *Rule book of the imperium with armored Emperor's gaurd hand.* It says here that it's, HERESY
Big E never said you can't bang space elfs or space comunists
BURN WITH HOLY FIRE!!!!
Sees Tau: Heresy...
Sees Eldar: Heresy...
Sees Chaos: Heresy...
Sees Incel:Heres... aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
hue hue Big E was trynna make the human webway to more easily access big tiddy eldar gf’s
7:57 Chad Emperor Alexander Habsburg
So that's how you bring CKII-style incest into Stellaris
Mass Effect: Grand Strategy Edition
"Rapid Breeders, Adaptive"
I think you meant to put: Weak, repugnant, sedentary, solitary, non adaptive, quarrelsome and slow breeders.
And shouldve started on a Tomb World
He doesnt know that there is refugees, of that half of his speciees have nothing to do with xenocompatibility, they are just gen modified elsewhere, and you ask about getting the right traits.
Well, they are traditional, so they do have one "good" trait.
L L Are you a Necron?
Looks like it's goblin time
666th like :3
Won 2 defensive wars and gained land
*ISRAEL 100*
"bang everything that moves" - also known as the 'Kirk Maneuver'.
The Prime D-rective
@@Killzoneguy117 i have never been so offended by something i agree with so much
Never found Stellaris enjoyable but Vale always makes these games enjoyable and fun to watch
but stellaris is the best gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaameeee
but stellaris is the best gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaameeee
but stellaris is the best gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaameeee
I get what you mean I personally recommend just trying a few playstyles there is probably one you will like
Trust me when I say it gets really hilarious when you switch to a genocidal empire when you tried to be pacifist and then commit every war crime possible just because an ungly xeno insulted you
When your crimes against humanity are so varied you have to split them into semi-moral war crimes and completely immoral war crimes 0:23
He has committed so many war crimes that not even the Geneva convention could add new rules of war to stop him from doing more crimes.
Yeah the warcrimes are almost on call me Kevin playing Sims Level, and that's SAYING something
/pol/ got overcrowded so he took his bordering enemies for lebensraum
“Typically creatures that breed a lot have shorter life spans”
Krogan: _Laughs in Immortal_
Tsk tsk tsk. The homeplanet should have been /b/, and the starting system should have been 4chan
/r9k/ would have worked better imo
/d/, you mean.
r/braincel is their current nesting ground.
Warning to anyone curious enough to visit the sub, the place is a cesspool of degeneracy
nem tudom I say the homeworld should have been named "Eye of Terror" and the system "The Immaterium".
I dont get the reference
You know, I think Valefisk really needs a girlfriend.
th-cam.com/video/2ldEk4MLAQM/w-d-xo.html
Potential girlfriend: "So what do you do?"
@@Valefisk : *thinking frantically about possible answers*
a) "I make incest videos in video games!"
b) "I make war-crime videos in video games!"
c) "I make incest war-crime videos in video games!"
*Valefisk runs away*
@@Valefisk just for one instant, one instant...I thought that was you and I was deeply disturbed. I've always pictured you with a neck, y'know? But then my brain caught up and everything was fine.
Or BF
>mating with everything that moves
>while playing without sexmods
You had one job...
There are sex mods for stellaris ? Nevermind i don't want to know.
@@Lunamana Is there a game without sexmods?
@@Lunamana of course there are. Nothing grand, just some sex traits, portraits, events etc.
They are fun as fuck tho and that shitty piece of trash needs any help it can get.
@@Canaris3now if only I had a computer capable of running the game.
Canaris sexmods? You have my upmost attention
>playing fanatic xenophiles
>names planets /pol/ and /b/
I see a problem here
"How to make Stellaris a Mass Effect"
The focus of this Video.
*"Bang, EVERYTHING"*
Slaanesh Approves
Matics 45 THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLAANESH, THINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW!
Having sex with every race you can find with the end goal being the perfect blend of species with no flaws.... excess the leads to perfection, it's almost like they were designed by she who thirsts herself
HERESY!!!!!!!!
invades 4 star systems
"IT WAS A DEFENSIVE WAR GUYS!!!!"
Germany: "First time?"
D-fencive
Guy: "That's what you get for using hair gel you fucking chad."
Also guy: "I have no idea what an incel sounds like."
*Your inner spirit is in conflict*
“Bang with every species that moves” so basically anyone playing bard from dnd?
Who said they had to move? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@lucastark1784 get animate undead with the magical secrets ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@bonogiamboni4830 The ultimate necromancy technique.
@@lucastark1784 that has to be a real thing in some dnd book sounds very dark elf or dark eldar
I shall seduce the dragon!
And that's the story of John Dragonfucker, bard extraordinare.
Should have titled the video: Stellaris part 2 Alabama boogaloo
"Should have", you illiterate penguin.
M E Go easy on him, he is a penguin afterall
What a wonderful coincidence that you met the Chad Imperium in this game : D
chad imperium is a reference to tts 40k, isn't it?
"Matting with every xeno" that sounds like some hefty heresy.
*We are gonna build a big asteroid belt wall & we are gonna make the chads pay for it!*
Me: sees the title
*[ interest intensifies ]*
So this is just a Commander Shepard simulator.
This is almost the exact thing I had in mind when I made my first Stellaris race. Only difference, they were a Hive Mind, obsessed with "integrating" everything else into the Hive Mind.
You are making a video about stellaris without knowing that there is a refugee policy, good job Vale.
I got excited when I saw EDF in the poll, until I saw the stellaris bit, then I just felt sad.
Everyone should experience the joy that is EDF.
funny thing is, i recorded that video with spiff in like january. It's just never been edited.
The resort world not being /d/ I think is a great loss
"THIS VIDEO PLEASES SLAANESH!" ~Noise Marine
"They want the incels" -Valefisk 2019
I haven't laughed this hard in a while. (Especially at the "Chad Imperium" bit.)
He claims to be a war criminal but he doesn't even know his 4chan boards!
He only pretends not to know to hide his power level
this doesnt make any sense. they are named incels, yet they are succesfully breeding with others? you didnt put enough thoughtinto this
Its called irony.
No, see, every moment not spent making sweet love to their hot alien waifu goes against their natural desire. They are involuntarily celibate so they seek to remedy that ASAP.
Incel detected
@@Chronically_ChiII snowflake detected
hmm.. how is that a snowflake? Do you even know what the word means? Do you just throw the word out as a buzzword? 🤔
Vale can you please single handedly bankrupt Cunard line with some o dat sweet sweet unrestricted submarine warfare.
16:34 ‘What do we get? A normal human being’
I mean, yeah if you’re gonna be completely optimistic about it, because if it turns out to be the other way around....
OH NO, *NICE GUYS*
When you were selecting a name for the ruler Rudolf Wagner came up, should have used that
"If we have a Chad and an Incell what do we get? We get a normal human being."
So true, so accurate LOL
in our defence Vale you are giving us the options to vote on
The fanatical xenophiles from planet 4chan...
Seems legit!
IDK why this was in my TH-cam recommendeds, as I've never watched a single Stellaris video, but I was entertained enough to stay for the whole video.
2:24 *You can stil be saved, wake up! The Emperor needs you!*
7:51 Chad Imperium's home world: Facebook
"this is no"
Ahhh brilliance in every word vale says
Love the created civilization you have called “electronic arts” which has the government form “criminal syndicate”
"These alien savages must be taught to kneel when in the presence of their betters."
So... your plan was to create a race of space dominatrices?
After eons 4chan emerges into the 'common world'. Twenty years ago this would've been impossible, but now... its glorious.
You always manage to make the dumbest things entertaining. Keep doing what you're doing Vale.
Xenomorphs: "we are the perfect organism"
Incel coalition: "hold my alien bae"
It's like Captain Kirk ran the entire federation..
Valefisk: "We'll bang, ok."
Props to whoever gets the reference.
And so /pol/ became the multi-cultural planet in the galaxy.
I remember my run with my giant centipedes.
I had so many half-centi i seriously was thinking my whole empirer was just one giant brothel
"Since the dawn of time, humankind has stared up at the cosmos with a mixture of trepidation and wonder. Turning our curious eyes toward the glittering stars speckled around our little blue planet, we have often asked ourselves the eternal question:
Are we alone in this universe? What is out there? More importantly… *can we bone it* ?"
-Sub*******
Greek mythology in a nutshell
Was just about to look for other Stellaris war criminals. But this was uploaded
Mate, thanks for spending hours on this, this shit is amazing :D
This is one of the 10 or so channels TH-cam randomly unsubscribe me from. So glad I was able to find it again.
0:42
Electronic Arts
Criminal Syndicate... hahahahahaha
Wow i didnt know you can do that in the game, mostly i just start wars and stuff haha
"We have to talk with your Galactic Emperor"
"Okay, High Sex Machine Scott Meriweather the Second will be here soon, please take a Seat."
I’m looking forward to watching all your videos I just found you and all of your videos are awesome 👏
The virgin (worst way of putting it) Incel Coalition Vs The Chad Imperium
Basically the chad version of a blorg
Man I haven't laughed so hard in a while, keep it up!
Vale got very excited about those nations coming, I think you enjoy these breeding vids more than you let on
Do mortar spam in company of heroes 2 next vid, its so broken and if you somehow manage to get killed the ai will take over all your mortars and start to do it themselves :P !!!
Join Valefisk next time as he plays through the highly controversial MoO mod, Master of Orion: F*cking the Stars
There is a mod on the workshop that basically turns a mega-corp into a mega-brothel with a civic. Combine it with the "Criminal Heritage" civic, and you can put brothels on other empires worlds that increase crime and lower productivity. It would be perfect for doing a mega corp video that basically is you trying to make other empires fall apart due to crime.
"Bang every species that moves" is one of the most terrifying thing I have ever heard
Thanks Vale
"Are they immigrating? Guess I have to build a wall."
Trump? Is that you?
This is just humanity going into space simulator. Look at our porn
The imperium inquisition is unpleased with your vid.
Hearing someone on the internet talk about Codonas may be the most surreal thing I’ve ever experienced
This is e) COMPLETE HERESY
*treathening space marine noises*
"You will make our life A LOT easier, if you just kill every chad alive" -
Valefisk, 2019.
13:54 “Yes, yes, please! All of you come, everybody come!” - Valefisk 2019
You played steleris like an aggressive plague inc. virus, truly this is a thing of beauty