2 weeks ago I had a low blood pressure event. The EMT literally said, "I know you're alive because you're breathing and talking, but I'll be damned if I can find your pulse." My reply was, "That's why I called you."
A- That one line reply was brilliant. 🙌😂 B- Just out of curiosity how hard was that EMT laughing, whilst still having to search for where your pulse was? 🤷♀️🚨🚨😂
In my college biology lab class we were having to take our lab partners pulse. My partner couldn't find mine, so she called over the professor. He also had trouble and said, "you're dead". We all laughed. He eventually found it.
That's why I get orders first, then once me and person's POA finally talk them into it, I'm on the squawk with dispatch. I can always get orders, but I can't always convince them to leave. Though they always thank me for saving their life after they've gone 🤪😑
As a paramedic, we really do this. I responded to a bus crash, and the first words out of my mouth after getting onboard was, “If you’re dead, raise your hand.” That earned me some giggles from the passengers needing our aid. We joke in situations like that because it helps the patients and us cope better.
You have to laugh at the darkness and horror or it will absolutely eat you alive without remorse. So good job helping them people to let out just a bit of the situational stress.
My mom was an RN for 30 years. Had a guy in the ER one night explain to her that he accidentally sat on a carrot while gardening & that’s HOW it ended up THERE. My mom looked at him & said, “So in your garden, the carrots grow above ground, upside down?” Dead silence. Crickets.
Do these people offer excuses unprompted or are people in healthcare actually asking? Because it really doesn't sound like useful information. Maybe if they were asking "did you use any lube?" That's probably helpful information.
@@Fists91 you’re hilarious. Nope. When my mom asked him what brought him into the ER, he started with, “Well, I was out gardening tonight & I happened to slip…..”
@@khamjaninja. As a fellow member of the- ’No really, I’m being one hundred honest./Yes I am in fact just that clumsy’ club I can fully second this one. Along with many perplexed professionals who can attest to not believing me, until they finally did. The result being said professionals who’d have to excuse themselves from the room. As you hear them trying to muffle their laughter. You are absolutely correct about just how embarrassing it is to say you’re there because you lost a fight with gravity or a door came out of nowhere. Again. 🤦♀️🤷♀️💯
Yep. Though it is very irritating when you're asked this after you told them the truth and they refuse to believe you. So they just keep pushing until they get to the point that I'm pissed and say "Unless you want me to make up a story to tell you I can't help you".
While asking patients who've come in from local prisons (always with an escort of two prison guards) about pain scores, I've often prefaced it with "And I don't mean these two". Never failed to get a laugh out of that one.
“That’s called kidnapping..” me when all 11 family members are trying to convince me to take 90 year old grandma on hospice to the ER for low oxygen levels.. well no shit she has lung cancer
"Yes ma'am, it's 90 degrees outside and 100 in the back of this truck but I will absolutely turn off the AC because those 50 blankets aren't keeping you warm enough"
I had to shut off the AC in my ambulance while doing shock management for a patient a few years ago because blankets would have made me unable to keep an eye on her bleeding dialysis access site.
„Can you let him answer please....“ Oh my god, that one is so true. BTW, this is not just parents speaking for their kids, but very often it‘s someone speaking for an elderly parent or elderly wives speaking for their husbands.
Unfortunately I am one of those who have to speak for my (sooner or later) husband..however in my defense he has had a rare cancer of the mouth & neck (FLAP) has had radiation; now has other post cancer problems & gets very s.o.b. and hoarse to the point he can not speak words at all. So I must answer questions for him. And I have to tell medical people why I am doing the answering.
@@Lynnmaria54 Sorry to hear that! Of course, cases do exist where speaking for others is absolutely warranted and this falls into that category. I was referring to cases where the patient is awake, alert and capable of speaking but cannot get a foot in the door because their partner won’t let them for one reason or another or keeps cutting them off to make their own statement. So, no need to defend yourself here. Hope your husband’s recovery is going well!
Lol, for my grandma and grandpa it was different. Doctor: What's your address? Grandpa: I don't know. Grandma: *Tells him. Doctor: What's your phone number? Grandpa: I don't know. Grandma: *Tells him. Doctor: What's your social security number? Grandpa: I don't know. Grandma: *Tells him. Doctor: Why don't I just start asking you all of the questions?
When you clear up from a refusal and you're driving back to the station and you're wondering why people are pulling over and you realize you left the lights on.
Yep happend today. But sometimes with old folks home beds the breaks not even on and Im to dumb to realize that we're just mm aways from pulling out the patients alarm button .... great time for everyone on the ward.
Ethan Woods I wish cots had the crotch strap like pedi mates. Pt starts out on the proper spot but by the end of the trip their feet are dangling over the end & I have their toes in my face when I pull them out.😩
Once had an EMT say they can't kidnap me, and then reassess and say he was indeed going to kidnap me, and I...did not realize he was serious that it's considered kidnapping. It was a very expensive way to learn that if I run in cold weather, my bronchial tubes seize up. Still, he made the right call.
@@thetiffanystevenson it was a freak thing. I'd gone from a tropical climate (Puerto Rico) back to a Boston winter, ran to catch the bus I needed to take up to New Hampshire, and it turns out that was a BAD idea. Overall my lung capacity is great, my bronchial tubes are wide open...I just cannot run in cold weather or bad things happen.
Omg "I can't force him to go to the hospital, that's kidnapping" is one I've literally used on dozens of occasions. And then I'm the asshole apparently.
@@Canonfudder that's why laws and police were invented. And one of those laws is that a person cannot be forced to go to a hospital if they are even slightly coherent.
And what's the protocol for when the patient is clearly not sound of mind? My mom had pancreatitis and her memory kept going. First EMT's we called gave that excuse, even though the memory lapse happened while they were there and she forgot they were in her house and she asked them who they were.
A dog attacked my face once and as I was being wheeled into the hospital with half my face bandaged and in pain a nurse walks up to the ambulance guys and they have the most casual sounding conversation I have ever heard in my life. They were talking about work, but it sounded like they were talking about Billie's birthday party last week. I was thinking, "am I even here? The nurse didn't even look at me let alone acknowledge my existence." I was so confused.
For you, it was a frightening injury. For them, it was Tuesday. Its probably a good thing they were just chatting, it means they're no worried and know you'll be okay :) when they go silent or sound urgent, THATS when you worry
I feel you. I have had partners that R E F U S E to push/pull the gurney. Like, no effort at all. I have had a partner that will lock the brakes on the gurney at any time the gurney is not in motion. Buuuuut then he would forget to unlock them. So when we go to move the gurney again, the brakes would 100% be locked on his side. That was the worst 24hrs of my liiiifee.
that shit is no joke. my dad had a drugged out dude in commerce city put a push dagger into his forearm while they were trying to treat him. waving hands and arms is no good
I like how doctors say not to google medical advice, but every freaking time I go to the doctor, they google EVERYTHING. And when they diagnose me with something, they tell me to google it.......
Yep. Bonus points for when they lecture you about using "Dr Google" to diagnose yourself when you didn't do that. Like I can't google my medical history, but because they have to google it they assume I must've just googled my symptoms and told them I have it. Like no, I told you I have it because I'm diagnosed with it.
"Go ahead and scoot yourself up for me, bumin the crease" "But why" "Because you're feet are hanging off and you're trying to bend at the ribcage that's why"
I always found it amazing how you're screaming to an 'emergency' call, get to the house and people are waving and pointing "here...here''... and the call is some BS, however, when you scream to an 'emergency' call and people are sitting around, smoking, rocking in a rocking chair and you ask, why are we here, then someone points "he back there" and you find someone shot, stabbed, almost dead...
I work with a guy who does this one all the time when the patients family meets us at ER: Family: "Hi, did you bring my family member here?" Partner: (solemnly) " Yes, but, they're no longer with us... " Family: 😮 Partner: "... they're in bed 8. Have a nice day!"
Omg, I feel like this is something my husband would do 😂. I’m chronically ill and go to the hospital a lot. If I ended up in the ER and he was in a 24, he liked to come and visit me in the ER in the middle of the night and freak the nurses by strolling in in his uniform. They’d be frantic trying to figure out who he was picking up since no one called for a transport and he’d be like “oh, I’m just here visiting my wife 😄.” 🤦🏻♀️.
Lol. Though bonus points for the nurse who asked me if I'd been out of the country after I'd just finished telling her about my current issue that included "Yeah, the symptoms started a couple weeks ago while I was in Canada". Also I'm not sure why she was asking because I was injured, not sick (and this was years before covid and no bad illness was going on either).
“I’m getting fat” guy used to be me until I got partnered with this annoyingly over energetic foreign kid who used any free time to do push ups and pull ups and lunges in the middle of the ambulance bay. In the year working with him I lost 30 pounds
@@tablescissors eh, that's true. I had interpreted it as positive because someone got a good benefit from it, but I bet it wasn't all good considering the addition of "annoying" in the description. Still, I'm glad that kid helped this guy out by setting an example. A bit of positive peer pressure can do wonders!
@@sydneysanders9579 No, you where right other use is wrong. I didn’t use the word positive because clearly its implied. I first thought he was annoying because I knew he was right, and I envied his zest for life. I’m still friends with him till this day and we work out together and we even got our other lazy friend to start working out with us too.
Triage nurse here: every last word is true and still holds true inside the hospital. EMT/paras are the other half of the apple to nurses and this nurse loves y’all very much! 💕
I had a 3 consecutive seizures at an Amazon Warehouse it was almost the end of my day on the 5th back to back 12 hour shift that week, in a 85 degree warehouse where the machine I am working on blows hot air at me to cool the machine 👍🙄 ANYWAY I have hydrocephalus, a shunt, and a non epileptic seizure condition, it wasn't surprising to me to say the least and I didn't really want to go to the hospital where I would wait for 5 hours just to tell me I had a seizure, and that other than some bruises I was fine, and that my vitals all looked good. BUUUUT Amazon had already called 911 EMS got there and asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said no because my vitals were all back to normal at that point and I was exhausted, but lucid, so EMS left, when the folks at Amazon found out they left they called 911 back and forced EMS to come back, they were pissed as fuck, honestly so was I. EMS made it clear that I could deny again and that they would leave again, and not come back. Considering my bosses bosses boss was standing there I took the ride to the hospital. The EMS kinda vented to me and I was happy they did and I kinda vented to them as well the guy who walked me into the ER asked the girl at the check in desk if I could just leave after telling her the short version, she said she had to check me in, but then I could leave. All I can say, is luckily I am on Medicaid/Medicare. Otherwise that would have been one expensive ass trip to the hospital because a hospital ride is 2k in my city and my insurance only pays 20% of bills until I reach 7k spent.
I'm sorry, that sucks! At least the EMTs were understanding and helped you as much as they could. I wonder if your bosses were worried about legal trouble from you if you didn't go to the hospital. Anyways, they shouldn't have pressured you like that.
@@jessface777 The EMT's were astounding, every interaction with them has been astounding... except for one and if I had had the means at that moment I would have offed myself then and there... but yes the staff at the warehouse were worried about a possible lawsuit... and I should have seen a dr at the ER so they could put down in writing exactly what I already knew... that the shifts they had me working were too much, I was overworked, underslept, dehydrated, and hadn't been eating enough because of the mandatory work they had set up... but I was post ictal and really just wanted to lay down and pass the fuck out for 14 hrs and not deal with that medical shit which is a headache and tiring enough even when you are healthy and alert. But I had to be back to work in two days and didn't have time to not go home and sleep for 14 hrs and then rest as much as I could before I did that 5 12s all over again the next week.
So you have all of those neurological problems and still work in a warehouse where you have terrible benefits and are forced to work like a slave? Time for an education and a different job
I've heard the "ok now tell me the truth"so many times and I think maybe once I lied. And felt bad bc the guy seemed genuinely nice but i was too embarrassed lmao.
My husband has social anxiety and he is slowly working his way to answering for himself. But often times he relies on me, and the panic in his eyes when someone tells me he needs to answer is very real.
@@CeeShelles Wow. You have a golden heart. I will not comment further to avoid sounding creepy but know this, I have known enough people to know you are very special for saving such a pure soul. May you guys live happily ever after.
You're at least as likely, if not more to win the lottery than be attacked by a shark. I think there were around 150 shark attacks worldwide last year.
EMT tried getting an ankle pulse reading when I was unconscious from a severely-low blood sugar… donkey-kicked his arm away. Turns out, my ticklish spots make me unexpectedly violent when I’m unaware of what’s going on
I recently found out that my uncle did not want to go to the hospital for his illness, so they waited until he passed out and then asked his wife if they could take him.
Me and my colleagues have a saying board and we check off which ever one we say the most. And usually the person who says them the most ends up buying pizza for everyone.
I broke my wrist and on the way to the hospital I told the EMT "I swear when I'm in pain, don't take it personally" Even loaded up on Ketamine I was still yelping. Babbled like an idiot all the way there, but I was lucid and could answer who/where/why. They just grinned at me. One told the nurse "She swears when she's in pain, don't take it personally" Both he and the nurse laughed. And he said "We snowed her on Ketamine, so she's not making any sense". I had to laugh at that.
The thumbs down must be a Paragod , all must bow too it. ....... ah whatever. Heard or said every one of these , thanks Brother , You and Paul Combs really make my day!
Month ago we had to call an ambulance for my dad. First responder showed and later the EMTs... the younger of the two was really helping his partner or the first responder. His focus was on my pole i had set up in the living room. He yanked on it before looking at me with a smirk😂
After dating a trauma nurse and having police friends I had to adjust how I answered my doctors on alcohol use. "About 2 ACTUAL drinks a day, not the alcoholic 'i've had a couple'. Then I would slowly say it again. Shocking how many medical staff don't know about the two drinks line. Someone could be in for a failing liver and they'd say the have only had a couple today, the nurse is looking at the blood test showing BAL in the .250-.350 range. EVERY DUI that's falling down drunk says they "had two beers". The funniest look on a cops face was when a cop was getting payola to work a nightclub and I answered "I had a double Crown Royal, at 12:30 lunch meeting" It was 11pm. Making up that they were going to arrest someone for public intoxication was the go to fabricated charge.
There's a local EMS worker in my town that I once worked with at a warehouse back in the late 90s that I'd like to appologize to. I'm sorry you saw my freshly showered dong when you came upstairs to let me know grandma was ok while I was darting towards the phone to let lifeline know all was ok after the morning shower I'd regularly take so I didn't stink up the seat in the workvan owned by the guy that I relied on to pay the $ I needed to survive at that random moment in my life
"Right there in the crease" 😂😂 so true For anyone who doesn't know that's the crease on the stretcher where you place your butt when you sit down on it.
The radio volume thing only ever happens to me when it’s 3 in the morning and i’m either having a serious conversation with a patient or their family or, alternatively, walking through the ED to a patient’s room to drop them off while everyone is asleep
Another one: *Me bleeding all over the floor because stupid me hits himself at the head with a pretty heavy paperweight, Me feels kinda dizzy* Ems: "Thats not that bad, you could have easily walked the 5km to the hospital yourself"
2 weeks ago I had a low blood pressure event. The EMT literally said, "I know you're alive because you're breathing and talking, but I'll be damned if I can find your pulse." My reply was, "That's why I called you."
A- That one line reply was brilliant. 🙌😂
B- Just out of curiosity how hard was that EMT laughing, whilst still having to search for where your pulse was? 🤷♀️🚨🚨😂
In my college biology lab class we were having to take our lab partners pulse. My partner couldn't find mine, so she called over the professor. He also had trouble and said, "you're dead". We all laughed. He eventually found it.
@@builtontherockhomestead9390 apparently there was a doctor who was checking his own heartbeat and his last word was “stopped”
I will not be surprised to wake up in the morgue one of these days. I have the same problem as well as extremely cold fingers and toes.
My response? "Welp if i don't have a pulse, i must be a zombie. Get a voodoo priest or a shotgun"
The number of nursing home employees that I have had to explain the concept of kidnapping to is too damn high.
Same
Same!
That's why I get orders first, then once me and person's POA finally talk them into it, I'm on the squawk with dispatch. I can always get orders, but I can't always convince them to leave. Though they always thank me for saving their life after they've gone 🤪😑
Don’t worry, you’ll be back at 0611 for U/U of a LOL who didn’t reply when the nurse whispered “good morning” as she power walked past her room.
"but it's policy that they go out!"
Don’t forget the oldy-but-goody: Don’t worry, we only drop people on (insert current day of the week). Never fails
Classic comedy
I like to tell my patients “don’t worry, we only drop our patients on days that end in ‘y’!”
"Don't worry, we've only tipped it twice this week."
On days that end with y
I say “don’t worry, we don’t drop people on Tuesdays” 😊 unless it is a Tuesday, then I pick a random day.
As a paramedic, we really do this.
I responded to a bus crash, and the first words out of my mouth after getting onboard was, “If you’re dead, raise your hand.”
That earned me some giggles from the passengers needing our aid.
We joke in situations like that because it helps the patients and us cope better.
You have to laugh at the darkness and horror or it will absolutely eat you alive without remorse. So good job helping them people to let out just a bit of the situational stress.
Humor is a universal coping mechanism!
If I didn’t have a terrible dark sense of humor, I would probably have off'ed myself a dozen times or so…
My mom was an RN for 30 years. Had a guy in the ER one night explain to her that he accidentally sat on a carrot while gardening & that’s HOW it ended up THERE. My mom looked at him & said, “So in your garden, the carrots grow above ground, upside down?” Dead silence. Crickets.
... were the crickets up there too?
In case anybody on here is wondering... NOTHING ever ends up your backside on accident.
Do these people offer excuses unprompted or are people in healthcare actually asking? Because it really doesn't sound like useful information. Maybe if they were asking "did you use any lube?" That's probably helpful information.
@@Fists91 you’re hilarious. Nope. When my mom asked him what brought him into the ER, he started with, “Well, I was out gardening tonight & I happened to slip…..”
@@kristenkaz3080 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
You forgot "We haven't dropped anybody all day..."
Jon651 we only drop people in days that end in “y”
“Don’t worry sir/ma’am we only drop folks on Monday’s. (It’s a Tuesday)
jsanders031 I like my version better
Me “don’t worry we only drop people on Tuesdays”
Patient “but it’s a Tuesday”
He had that in the first one I think
“Too much paperwork.”
I lost it at the very beginning “tell em what REALLY happened” 😂😂
This is doubly true with teens lol
"I fell on it while cleaning..."
tell the cops nothing, and the EMTs everything
@@khamjaninja. As a fellow member of the- ’No really, I’m being one hundred honest./Yes I am in fact just that clumsy’ club I can fully second this one.
Along with many perplexed professionals who can attest to not believing me, until they finally did. The result being said professionals who’d have to excuse themselves from the room. As you hear them trying to muffle their laughter.
You are absolutely correct about just how embarrassing it is to say you’re there because you lost a fight with gravity or a door came out of nowhere.
Again. 🤦♀️🤷♀️💯
Yep. Though it is very irritating when you're asked this after you told them the truth and they refuse to believe you. So they just keep pushing until they get to the point that I'm pissed and say "Unless you want me to make up a story to tell you I can't help you".
While asking patients who've come in from local prisons (always with an escort of two prison guards) about pain scores, I've often prefaced it with "And I don't mean these two". Never failed to get a laugh out of that one.
Nice! 😀
“That’s called kidnapping..” me when all 11 family members are trying to convince me to take 90 year old grandma on hospice to the ER for low oxygen levels.. well no shit she has lung cancer
😡😩 “Pt w/DNR DC to home after being admitted for...”😳🤦♂️🙄
I'm sorry Emily :(
Emily - isn't that what hospice is for?
@@tomcayemberg4529 yes- hence my confusion at why her family was calling us to take her to the ER!
We get them where grandma is still at home but has a DNR along with not wanting to go.
"Yes ma'am, it's 90 degrees outside and 100 in the back of this truck but I will absolutely turn off the AC because those 50 blankets aren't keeping you warm enough"
I felt this deep within my soul 😅
Me to my partner “ you are about to have two patients instead of one”
I always say the ac is controlled from up front and my partner can’t hear me
@@vaboyt1 That's genius.
I had to shut off the AC in my ambulance while doing shock management for a patient a few years ago because blankets would have made me unable to keep an eye on her bleeding dialysis access site.
@@GhostBear3067 Did you have to use heatstroke protocol for yourself afterward?
“Enough epinephrine can make a even potato have a rhythm”
good one
Its amazing how this is international. Worked in german ems and its exactly the same jokes, puns and phrases, just translated.
„Can you let him answer please....“
Oh my god, that one is so true.
BTW, this is not just parents speaking for their kids, but very often it‘s someone speaking for an elderly parent or elderly wives speaking for their husbands.
I speak for my husband because he lies.
Or in my experience, not so elderly wives !
Unfortunately I am one of those who have to speak for my (sooner or later) husband..however in my defense he has had a rare cancer of the mouth & neck (FLAP) has had radiation; now has other post cancer problems & gets very s.o.b. and hoarse to the point he can not speak words at all. So I must answer questions for him. And I have to tell medical people why I am doing the answering.
@@Lynnmaria54 Sorry to hear that! Of course, cases do exist where speaking for others is absolutely warranted and this falls into that category. I was referring to cases where the patient is awake, alert and capable of speaking but cannot get a foot in the door because their partner won’t let them for one reason or another or keeps cutting them off to make their own statement.
So, no need to defend yourself here. Hope your husband’s recovery is going well!
Lol, for my grandma and grandpa it was different.
Doctor: What's your address?
Grandpa: I don't know.
Grandma: *Tells him.
Doctor: What's your phone number?
Grandpa: I don't know.
Grandma: *Tells him.
Doctor: What's your social security number?
Grandpa: I don't know.
Grandma: *Tells him.
Doctor: Why don't I just start asking you all of the questions?
When you clear up from a refusal and you're driving back to the station and you're wondering why people are pulling over and you realize you left the lights on.
Yep, thats usually the issue. Trust me, PD and everyone on the radio in proximity to visual sight "check your lights (insert unit #)"
I give my driver a hard time and call that "Code 3 back to the TV"
Or when you’re done with a traffic stop and people are still getting out of your way as you’re doing 70 in a 70 tooling down the road.😂
Haha... i did that... ummm... only once :)
too close to home on that milkshake one, literally just went for milkshakes at midnight last week after a run
Does Dairy Queen count? That blizzard was GOOD!
Me too. Sonic.
@@perryrush6563 Mmmm.... 😋
As someone who works in EMS “ is the break on?” Has me dying
Yep happend today. But sometimes with old folks home beds the breaks not even on and Im to dumb to realize that we're just mm aways from pulling out the patients alarm button .... great time for everyone on the ward.
working in an hospital ambulance centre, I really say that phrase a lot and sadly 50% of the time there is a reason why I say it :D
Yes. It's called our body weight
*brake
I don't work in ems and I still lost my shit 😂
1st one is usually during a "foreign object in rectum" call. And unless there is video evidence we will not believe you "just fell" on it like that.
But i swear i just fell on the jar
the "foreign" isn´t the object, its the place where it is
At that point, does it really matter what the story is?
I remember someone just coming in and saying, "I stuck this thing up my butt and now I can't get it out. Can yall help me?"
@@MurasakiTsukimaru fast and conscise, just like all the doctors like.
The "Sit in the crease" as you hit that point on the stretcher only to have them sit on the bottom 25% of it is a classic
Ethan Woods I wish cots had the crotch strap like pedi mates. Pt starts out on the proper spot but by the end of the trip their feet are dangling over the end & I have their toes in my face when I pull them out.😩
Ooooh, that's what i means!
My left hip loves that crease. Can’t move once I’m there.
When we are lifting a patient over to the hospital bed from the gurney, we say "Arms across the chest and think light".
What about something like "Pretend you're a mummy."?
"Think light," as if that's going to change the weight... I love that! 😂
"Cross your arms across your chest and do your best David Blaine impression"
I'd like to see a whole sketch of "tell me what really happened".
Hear an EMT say “it isn’t a Cadillac” after a patient groaned while being wheeled away 😂
This guy should be on SNL. He legit kills me everytime.
He’s actually funny, unlike SNL
Modern SNL that is, the old stuff is good.
SNL would fuck it up somehow
He doesn't need to be? He's on here and doing great.
SNL is for boomers
He's overqualified for SNL. They haven't had talent on that show in at least a decade.
I’m so new to EMS that I’ve only ran 5 calls so far, but damn I’ve already had to use the “that’s called kidnapping” one lmao
Have you had to use any others now that it's been 2+ years?
Once had an EMT say they can't kidnap me, and then reassess and say he was indeed going to kidnap me, and I...did not realize he was serious that it's considered kidnapping.
It was a very expensive way to learn that if I run in cold weather, my bronchial tubes seize up. Still, he made the right call.
I'm stunned you didn't already know that. Do you have asthma or this was a freak thing?
@@thetiffanystevenson it was a freak thing. I'd gone from a tropical climate (Puerto Rico) back to a Boston winter, ran to catch the bus I needed to take up to New Hampshire, and it turns out that was a BAD idea. Overall my lung capacity is great, my bronchial tubes are wide open...I just cannot run in cold weather or bad things happen.
Omg "I can't force him to go to the hospital, that's kidnapping" is one I've literally used on dozens of occasions.
And then I'm the asshole apparently.
I know right. It's like you ain't human if you don't force people to go to the hospital
It's like they don't realize that their A/Ox4 and get mad bc you don't kidnap them
The problem is that theres a ton of non-violent people out there, who definatly need a guardian.
@@Canonfudder that's why laws and police were invented.
And one of those laws is that a person cannot be forced to go to a hospital if they are even slightly coherent.
And what's the protocol for when the patient is clearly not sound of mind?
My mom had pancreatitis and her memory kept going. First EMT's we called gave that excuse, even though the memory lapse happened while they were there and she forgot they were in her house and she asked them who they were.
I use my old amusement park schpiel on the kiddos, "please keep all hands, arms, legs and ponytails in the ride at all times."
My mom and dad used to say when we had friends over
A dog attacked my face once and as I was being wheeled into the hospital with half my face bandaged and in pain a nurse walks up to the ambulance guys and they have the most casual sounding conversation I have ever heard in my life. They were talking about work, but it sounded like they were talking about Billie's birthday party last week. I was thinking, "am I even here? The nurse didn't even look at me let alone acknowledge my existence." I was so confused.
For you, it was a frightening injury. For them, it was Tuesday. Its probably a good thing they were just chatting, it means they're no worried and know you'll be okay :) when they go silent or sound urgent, THATS when you worry
Jesus the emt on our rescue literally said the brakes must be on two days ago on shift cause he couldn’t pull the stretcher in the sand
I feel you. I have had partners that R E F U S E to push/pull the gurney. Like, no effort at all. I have had a partner that will lock the brakes on the gurney at any time the gurney is not in motion. Buuuuut then he would forget to unlock them. So when we go to move the gurney again, the brakes would 100% be locked on his side. That was the worst 24hrs of my liiiifee.
My personal favorite is when they try to say the kickstand is dragging or down.
Bet it was a Ferno.
You forgot “oh crap, did I just say that on the air?!?”
😂😂 almost daily
I live in terror of my radio going live while I am in the bathroom...
Keep your arms crossed...until we move you then grab everything in sight.
I tend to go with "keep all hands and feet within the ride until it comes to a full and complete stop, 1 2 3..." (patient is moved onto stretcher)
that shit is no joke. my dad had a drugged out dude in commerce city put a push dagger into his forearm while they were trying to treat him. waving hands and arms is no good
@@carsonkouts Commerce City, Denver's ghetto!
I would like to see "who the hell *insert common incident* at 3am"
"People should be *sleeping* this time of night. How do you fall down your stairs at 3am?!?"
@@QemeH sleep walking and wake up halfway down the stairs...
*Alarm bell rings*
"Oh boy, 3 a.m. !"
*Falls off the bed, breaks legs*
“I need to start eating better I’m getting fat, oh you know what sounds good milkshakes”
Dude that be everyone lol
I totally love how it's just universal...everywhere the same^^ I'm working in germany and I can soooo relate to all of your videos XD
While strapping the stretcher's belts: "And just so you won't escape, ha ha ..." (The two cops and two prison wardens in the Ambulance: *angry stare*)
I like how doctors say not to google medical advice, but every freaking time I go to the doctor, they google EVERYTHING. And when they diagnose me with something, they tell me to google it.......
Yep. Bonus points for when they lecture you about using "Dr Google" to diagnose yourself when you didn't do that. Like I can't google my medical history, but because they have to google it they assume I must've just googled my symptoms and told them I have it. Like no, I told you I have it because I'm diagnosed with it.
"Go ahead and scoot yourself up for me, bumin the crease"
"But why"
"Because you're feet are hanging off and you're trying to bend at the ribcage that's why"
I always found it amazing how you're screaming to an 'emergency' call, get to the house and people are waving and pointing "here...here''... and the call is some BS, however, when you scream to an 'emergency' call and people are sitting around, smoking, rocking in a rocking chair and you ask, why are we here, then someone points "he back there" and you find someone shot, stabbed, almost dead...
Thank you to all EMS for saving those in need.
I literally cannot wait to be an ems. I feel like it's gonna be fun and stressful at the same time and I'm here for it
Do your best! I'll cheer you on!
You make it to EMS and love it?
Same!
I work with a guy who does this one all the time when the patients family meets us at ER:
Family: "Hi, did you bring my family member here?"
Partner: (solemnly) " Yes, but, they're no longer with us... "
Family: 😮
Partner: "... they're in bed 8. Have a nice day!"
Omg, I feel like this is something my husband would do 😂. I’m chronically ill and go to the hospital a lot. If I ended up in the ER and he was in a 24, he liked to come and visit me in the ER in the middle of the night and freak the nurses by strolling in in his uniform. They’d be frantic trying to figure out who he was picking up since no one called for a transport and he’d be like “oh, I’m just here visiting my wife 😄.” 🤦🏻♀️.
@@carolinamurtha3102 That's sad, hilarious, and sweet all at the same time. God bless you and your husband!
That's savage lmfao
That's so cruel. 😩😂
how many times has he been punched for it?
"Have you been out of the country in the past 30 days?" Yes, we drove to Egypt yesterday.
"Drove to Egypt from Alaska yesterday."
"I had a nice quiet drive to Hawaii. Very uneventful the whole way."
Lol. Though bonus points for the nurse who asked me if I'd been out of the country after I'd just finished telling her about my current issue that included "Yeah, the symptoms started a couple weeks ago while I was in Canada". Also I'm not sure why she was asking because I was injured, not sick (and this was years before covid and no bad illness was going on either).
EMS is pretty much saying "just a couple of bumps" all day on shift
Can you imagine being lucky enough to have Jason as a partner
I would realize I'm about to have a crazy" wonderful and educational" shift..... And I'm all in for it
That would be awesome!
I have seen all this . Makes life interesting 😂.
🤣the radio screaming and scrambling to turn it down
“I’m getting fat” guy used to be me until I got partnered with this annoyingly over energetic foreign kid who used any free time to do push ups and pull ups and lunges in the middle of the ambulance bay. In the year working with him I lost 30 pounds
That's amazing, I love it when people have contagious positive energy!
@@sydneysanders9579 "positive" was not the word they used
@@tablescissors eh, that's true. I had interpreted it as positive because someone got a good benefit from it, but I bet it wasn't all good considering the addition of "annoying" in the description.
Still, I'm glad that kid helped this guy out by setting an example. A bit of positive peer pressure can do wonders!
way to succumb to peer pressure
@@sydneysanders9579 No, you where right other use is wrong. I didn’t use the word positive because clearly its implied. I first thought he was annoying because I knew he was right, and I envied his zest for life. I’m still friends with him till this day and we work out together and we even got our other lazy friend to start working out with us too.
Triage nurse here: every last word is true and still holds true inside the hospital. EMT/paras are the other half of the apple to nurses and this nurse loves y’all very much! 💕
" make sure the radio is off" yeah guilty of this 🤣🤣
The brake being on the stretcher, and the multiple attempts to get someone to scoot far enough towards the crease had me 😂😂😂
I had a 3 consecutive seizures at an Amazon Warehouse it was almost the end of my day on the 5th back to back 12 hour shift that week, in a 85 degree warehouse where the machine I am working on blows hot air at me to cool the machine 👍🙄 ANYWAY I have hydrocephalus, a shunt, and a non epileptic seizure condition, it wasn't surprising to me to say the least and I didn't really want to go to the hospital where I would wait for 5 hours just to tell me I had a seizure, and that other than some bruises I was fine, and that my vitals all looked good. BUUUUT Amazon had already called 911 EMS got there and asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said no because my vitals were all back to normal at that point and I was exhausted, but lucid, so EMS left, when the folks at Amazon found out they left they called 911 back and forced EMS to come back, they were pissed as fuck, honestly so was I. EMS made it clear that I could deny again and that they would leave again, and not come back. Considering my bosses bosses boss was standing there I took the ride to the hospital. The EMS kinda vented to me and I was happy they did and I kinda vented to them as well the guy who walked me into the ER asked the girl at the check in desk if I could just leave after telling her the short version, she said she had to check me in, but then I could leave.
All I can say, is luckily I am on Medicaid/Medicare. Otherwise that would have been one expensive ass trip to the hospital because a hospital ride is 2k in my city and my insurance only pays 20% of bills until I reach 7k spent.
I'm sorry, that sucks! At least the EMTs were understanding and helped you as much as they could. I wonder if your bosses were worried about legal trouble from you if you didn't go to the hospital. Anyways, they shouldn't have pressured you like that.
@@jessface777 The EMT's were astounding, every interaction with them has been astounding... except for one and if I had had the means at that moment I would have offed myself then and there... but yes the staff at the warehouse were worried about a possible lawsuit... and I should have seen a dr at the ER so they could put down in writing exactly what I already knew... that the shifts they had me working were too much, I was overworked, underslept, dehydrated, and hadn't been eating enough because of the mandatory work they had set up... but I was post ictal and really just wanted to lay down and pass the fuck out for 14 hrs and not deal with that medical shit which is a headache and tiring enough even when you are healthy and alert. But I had to be back to work in two days and didn't have time to not go home and sleep for 14 hrs and then rest as much as I could before I did that 5 12s all over again the next week.
So you have all of those neurological problems and still work in a warehouse where you have terrible benefits and are forced to work like a slave? Time for an education and a different job
Just Love these… 🙋🏽♀️… I’m a Caregiver and I totally understand these problems! Hang in there Guys; we appreciate you all so much!
“Is the brake on?” Killed me, happens so often lmao
I've heard the "ok now tell me the truth"so many times and I think maybe once I lied. And felt bad bc the guy seemed genuinely nice but i was too embarrassed lmao.
My husband has social anxiety and he is slowly working his way to answering for himself. But often times he relies on me, and the panic in his eyes when someone tells me he needs to answer is very real.
The EMT needs to evaluate your husband's mental condition and memory recall as well and they can't do that if someone is coaching the answers.
This story does not add up. Something is wrong here.
How does someone with that level of social anxiety find someone and actually marry them?
@@teleman07 We met on an online forum as teenagers lol.
@@CeeShelles Wow. You have a golden heart. I will not comment further to avoid sounding creepy but know this, I have known enough people to know you are very special for saving such a pure soul.
May you guys live happily ever after.
Bucket list item - need an ambulance and you're the EMT that arrives. At least if I died, I'd die laughing.
“Almost there…” 😂 can’t tell you how many Times I heard that when I did a ride along for a senior thesis in high school
I relate to the radio being so loud that your ears bleed.
The crease of the stretcher dance is played every shift! I’m thinking of making some sort of target that says “your butt goes here”.
To bad the sheets don't have a butt picture when the eyes "place it here"
*starting an IV*
"Don't worry, I've never missed."
*misses*
"Well I guess there's a first time for everything.:
I just want to spend one day with this guy. BUT, he must SAY EVERYTHING THAT CROSSES HIS MIND!!!!
"freaking late calls..." LOL. Brought back my life memories- 3 years EMT....
Always the last call
I'm a personal fan of "Don't worry I usually don't drop people."
Oh my God!! All true!! Especially “ma’am.. can you let him answer?” I know you’re not having a stroke..
Can't help but notice how pretty his eyes are.
How about, “ what’s going on.” Partner: “ shark attack” . 90% of people: really????
You're at least as likely, if not more to win the lottery than be attacked by a shark. I think there were around 150 shark attacks worldwide last year.
I'll have to remember that one 😂 we're a looooong way from the ocean
If a paramedic tells you "google is pretty good to give you medical advices" run lol
EMT tried getting an ankle pulse reading when I was unconscious from a severely-low blood sugar… donkey-kicked his arm away.
Turns out, my ticklish spots make me unexpectedly violent when I’m unaware of what’s going on
I recently found out that my uncle did not want to go to the hospital for his illness, so they waited until he passed out and then asked his wife if they could take him.
Yep, it works. And it's not even kidnapping (though they might think it when they wake up at the hospital).
Why is this man not in any movies? He's comedy gold.
Having to tell people how to sit down never ceases to amaze me. Like jsut sit where it’s comfortable not on the foot of the stretcher
Yep. Like if I can manage to do it while in so much pain I can't manage to stand upright everyone else can too.
I'm unsure if I find it comforting or frightening to know how similar all the things i say all the time is across the ems world.
0:10 Definitely feel that 😂. Had moments where other units had a “hot mic” and they were smack talking PTs
Me and my colleagues have a saying board and we check off which ever one we say the most. And usually the person who says them the most ends up buying pizza for everyone.
I broke my wrist and on the way to the hospital I told the EMT "I swear when I'm in pain, don't take it personally" Even loaded up on Ketamine I was still yelping. Babbled like an idiot all the way there, but I was lucid and could answer who/where/why. They just grinned at me. One told the nurse "She swears when she's in pain, don't take it personally" Both he and the nurse laughed. And he said "We snowed her on Ketamine, so she's not making any sense". I had to laugh at that.
Is the brake on!? Yooooo this is so accurate 😂
0:25 Even as I don't work in EMS, but as a nightshift forklift driver in a fruit coldstore, this is very relatable...
My sister used to have one of those campaign-button pins that said "Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."
EMS bingo. Explaining to family, friends and even other healthcare practitioners that we can't kidnap patients.
"Alright tell me what really happened" that brought back so many memories 😭😭🤦🤣
Appreciate the beginning for all kinds of reasons! You guys are the best!
Said everyone of these in the past week. Except for volunteering my partner to be hit by the patient. That's about every other call.
Been in the business for 30 plus years, everything here I have personally heard. LMAO!!!
damn the late calls tho... i got a 2 hr run five minutes before end of shift a few weeks back. i wanted nothing more than to go home lmao
The thumbs down must be a Paragod , all must bow too it. ....... ah whatever. Heard or said every one of these , thanks Brother , You and Paul Combs really make my day!
The Radio being turned too loud was the most accurate....
Month ago we had to call an ambulance for my dad. First responder showed and later the EMTs... the younger of the two was really helping his partner or the first responder. His focus was on my pole i had set up in the living room. He yanked on it before looking at me with a smirk😂
I'm not an EMT, but an ambulance coder. And I read all of this... in their PCRs 😂
That last one hit home lmaooooo
After dating a trauma nurse and having police friends I had to adjust how I answered my doctors on alcohol use. "About 2 ACTUAL drinks a day, not the alcoholic 'i've had a couple'. Then I would slowly say it again. Shocking how many medical staff don't know about the two drinks line. Someone could be in for a failing liver and they'd say the have only had a couple today, the nurse is looking at the blood test showing BAL in the .250-.350 range. EVERY DUI that's falling down drunk says they "had two beers".
The funniest look on a cops face was when a cop was getting payola to work a nightclub and I answered "I had a double Crown Royal, at 12:30 lunch meeting"
It was 11pm.
Making up that they were going to arrest someone for public intoxication was the go to fabricated charge.
There's a local EMS worker in my town that I once worked with at a warehouse back in the late 90s that I'd like to appologize to. I'm sorry you saw my freshly showered dong when you came upstairs to let me know grandma was ok while I was darting towards the phone to let lifeline know all was ok after the morning shower I'd regularly take so I didn't stink up the seat in the workvan owned by the guy that I relied on to pay the $ I needed to survive at that random moment in my life
This is golden content
Drunk guy, "I only had two beers."
First Responders, "How big were the beers?"
Picked up an absolutely wasted girl once who insisted she only had one drink. I blurted out "what, one bathtub?!"
Took my daughter to the doctor, & he was stumped what was wrong, so he used Google, & then looked up what medication to give her for it, lol.
"Right there in the crease" 😂😂 so true
For anyone who doesn't know that's the crease on the stretcher where you place your butt when you sit down on it.
The radio volume thing only ever happens to me when it’s 3 in the morning and i’m either having a serious conversation with a patient or their family or, alternatively, walking through the ED to a patient’s room to drop them off while everyone is asleep
The brake was on all day yesterday. I was dragging the stretcher the whole shift and I was just too tired to look into it.
On point! Except the stretcher still moves with the breaks on lol 😂
Bless you for not kidnapping people, wish you had been i charge when i was kidnapped by hospital staff. Keep keeping the bar decent please 👏💗💗
Wait i think i might have posted a similar comment before,,, or i decided it was too dark last time, not sure lol
My favorite is when your putting the gurneys straps on and they cough right in your face.... phenomenal
Another one: *Me bleeding all over the floor because stupid me hits himself at the head with a pretty heavy paperweight, Me feels kinda dizzy*
Ems: "Thats not that bad, you could have easily walked the 5km to the hospital yourself"
If you accidentally hear me say "oops" then you should start to worry.