Imagine what it's like to be a "New Dad": Holding my newborn son all night because he's colicky and my (now ex) wife is suffering from Post-Partum depression (didn't realize it at the time) and he won't breastfeed...and finally falling to sleep after 48 hours of being awake after he came home, sitting on the couch holding the little guy, only to wake up from the first sleep I have had in the past two days because "he's too quiet." After a moment of terror, which woke him up from the first meaningful sleep HE had as well, he starts crying again and then my (now ex) wife wakes up, gets out of bed, and yells AT ME for not being able to make the baby be quiet and waking HER up. Yeah, us "New Dads" have it freaking easy...
@@Richard_Nickerson no doubt. I just always thought it was...ironic...because my (now ex) wife was always a sound sleeper so it was me always getting up at 2am (or 4) and yet it's never assumed that "the new father" ever suffers. I'd argue that those early days of fatherhood...for both my sons...was harder on me than it was her, though I don't begrudge her the pain of labor or the post-partum depression. But according to "the women," I had it "easy" while she had all the hard work.
Don't forget still having to go to work during the day. While she get 6 months off and no fear of losing her job. For the first 6 months I got at most an hour of sleep a night. Had baby duty at night and work from 6am to 6pm. Military only alots us guys 10 days of leave for a new child.
@@pastorjerrykliner3162 I was also the only one staying up past midnight/responding to the middle-of-the-night cries. And then she complained constantly about being the one who always had to wake up early. I worked 2nd shift (4pm-midnight). I took care of him 12am-3am. OF COURSE you're the one waking up with him in the morning, lady. Not my fault she refused to nap when he napped either.
Saying men have no emotions just because we don’t express them the way women do is like putting a fish in a terrarium and blaming the fish for not breathing properly
We also are perfectly capable of expressing our feelings in words, we're usually just so traumatized over having our feelings treated as useless, causing insecurity or being a burden, that we just tend to keep quiet about them...
I'm tired of my feelings being weaponized against me. I've litteraly been physically attacked and I... and no one else got taken to HR and told I can't express emotions. Litteraly a woman was hitting me and I was told it's because you sounded angry to her. So I need to check my emotions. That's what being a man is. I litteraly did check my emotions by not putting her into a hospital or grave.
Meth head co-worker threated to kill me/called me slurs both multiple times. Reported him and the HR lady told me "It doesn't soouuund like him" & "I don't think he'd do thaaat." They reduced my hours (not his) to keep us more separated. Then later fired him after he cussed at a female coworker. I never got my hours back...
If you spend any time on dating sites you'll see that a good percentage of women over 30 seem to want to have children more than they actually want a man. The way they phrase it actually does seem like men are just a means to an end for them to get the status they desire.
@@Smellslikegelflingain’t that some truth. It’s kinda hurtful when your spouse says something like they’ve had everything planned out since they were preteens, and that they thought they would’ve had done XYZ by this time. The implication is that IM the one that doesn’t get to have any plans for my life. The feeling of just being a sperm donor is a hard feeling the shake
It was a common sitcom trope back in the day to have the wife and the husband swap roles for a day, each of them talking crap about how the other one had it so easy or "I'll show my partner how this is done!" And always always always, at the end each of them would get wiped out by the other's task list and they would both at least appreciate that the other had their own difficulties and that the other deserved credit for doing their thing as well as they do. I don't watch a lot of TV any more, but maybe we need to bring this back to defuse some of this battle of the sexes nonsense.
I'm not saying your wrong I just find it funny in a sad way, people only now care about said sexism because men are pushing back against it and when they find the entirety of society is against them, they leave. Now because so many have left, now suddenly the conflict is bad. Just my stream of thought thinking.
While hypothetically that sounds like a good idea, it really isn't in practice. Most jobs, especially well earning ones, require certain skills and familiarity with the workplace to perform at all correctly. Do you really think your boss would accept your significant other coming in and doing your job for a day? You probably wouldn't have your job long.
I've worked as a journeyman splicer and now I'm an engineer. Both jobs are difficult, it's just that they are difficult in different ways. Doing a skilled trade and having a tired body is a tough way to make a living, but so is having to deal with the bureaucracy and budget issues of getting those projects designed and funded.
“Modern society is making women take on more masculine roles.” Ma’am, there was an entire wave of feminism that fought for the right of women to enter the workforce, earn their own money, and become independent. You can’t just backtrack over decades of history and social progress because you want someone to pay bills for you.
Right? Feminism is a century-long scam meant to devalue the vote, destroy the nuclear family, and diminish the earning and purchasing power of the lower and middle classes. The fact that the majority of women still haven't caught onto this in all this time speaks to either the insidiousness of the movement or the gullibility of its victims. Take your pick.
This is such a strange idea because men and women were asked to redistribute roles because they couldn’t take “all of one”. This is fair but if you’re asking dudes to take “feminine roles”, you’re going to be asked to take some masculine ones.
Pretty sure she doesn't want equality. I highly doubt she would consider herself a feminist since that was probably one of the most anti-feminist takes outside of pearl davis
These ladies convince me more and more that the patriarchy was always a joint effort. The farther away from it we get, the more they shame us for not striving to fill that expected role.
It's why so many men are just opting out of marriage, or even out of romantic relationships entirely: too many women expect men to hold to the traditional role in a relationship, while not believing that they should be held to theirs. What's the upside for any man in such a relationship?
I started telling people that "the patriarchy" is an emergent property of a system that developed from the differences in men's and women's biologies (which includes how the mind operates!) and how those differences complement each other.
Of course the patriarchy was always a joint effort. For the women blessed with a kind capable men it made life so much easier than life on their own. The opposite is also true men blessed with kind capable women their lives are so much easier as well.
I love too that whenever something in society is bad for men and they complain about it the de facto response is "well men built society so it's your fault" as if a group of men long ago in a spooky castle decided what society would be, and that society didn't just form naturally through the crucible of thousands of years of needing to survive and advance as a species.
Because if they can blame the invisible patriarchy, they don’t have to take accountability for their actions. They just say they’re oppressed and that it’s “okay” to hate men.
I just can't get over the "men hate all women and just want them for s*x" thing. If you've EVER been even 10 miles from a healthy marriage you would know that this is just not true. A man's love for his wife is an amazing and beautiful thing. There is nothing like it.
Chances are these women have all met dudes who happened to use them like that, but they keep going for the same dudes. So "all men" is merely the marginal sample they had of the entire male population on Earth
If men really only wanted women for s*x there would be no marriages and a lot more brothels. After all, a hooker isn't paid to come to you for sex but to leave afterwards.
It's literally a cliche that married couples don't sleep together often. If men only wanted women for their anatomy how could that cliche possibly exist? They'd all have divorced if that was the only thing they wanted.
See, this is why men dominated almost every profession in the distant past. It wasn't because of "misogyny"...it was because men were legally and socially REQUIRED to provide for the women and children in their households, and women were not. Women had zero financial responsibility for anything or anyone...not even for themselves (unless there was no man to take care of them). Being expected to provide for a household was not a "privilege"...it was an obligation. And most jobs were not glamorous or prestigious (but feminists act as if they were, in order to make women as resentful as possible). A large percentage of men worked in hard, dirty, and/or dangerous jobs...and a great many still do.
@@kylemacdougall8355 It's somewhat hard to prove, but I would bet that banks and corporations in the 1960's and 70's helped amplify feminist messages about women leaving the home and entering the workplace. It resulted in vastly increasing the number of people in the workforce, thus helping to suppress wages and at the same time increasing credit lending and spending.
@@SmellslikegelflingI was thinking of that before. They started to realize holy shit with 2 people working that's twice the employees out in the workforce and that's twice as much money so it's twice as much spending. I fucking hate the equal pay thing though becaue it's so fucking flawed it's not funny. The way they did it in the first place was flawed they just did it across the board and didn't figure in hours or jobs or nothing like that. Plus if women really did make 78 cents to $1 why are there any men employed anywhere?
@kylemacdougall8355 And it was why women didn't have as much college attendance compared to men before 1920. Because college was elitist (the first colleges were literally the ivy leagues) and men had to be able to afford to go in order to make enough money to pay for women to go. Which is why it took until 1920 for 3% of women and 4% of men to go to college.
it's so crazy hearing some of these women on TikTok saying almost the exact same thing terribly sexist men said in the past(and still do say of course). Reminds me of that one guy who gave an interview and he was blown away, had a spiritual revelation that women are also humans capable of thought, logic, reason, and emotion. Its sad to see for sure because I know so much of this sexism comes from terrible, traumatizing experiences they have had, but its just so bizarre to see from outside their incredibly limited, small, shallow worldview. Sexism is cringe in any direction.
@@40KBoss it was a tiktok clip I remember seeing first. It was from the daily wire and it was Andrew Klavan talking I bleive. I suppose to his credit he changed his mind and grew but he does literally say "For the first 10 years I was thinking 'well of course she has no capacity for reason'". Like hey I'm so happy if he no longer sees women that way, but that is a crazy belief to have ever had in the first place lmao.
I have literally never heard men speak about women the way women speak about men... even in the past i dont believe men have ever spoken about women in this manner.
I mean, they do kind of have a point if you squint. There are predatory men out there, but they’re predatory because they’re predatory, not because they’re men.
This. Good men or women were never the problem. Bad men and women were. What the common denominator is isn't that they're men or women, it's that they're bad. And one of the hallmarks of bad people is that they're not above lying! I'd even go so far as to say all bad people are liars because how else could they think harming other people is okay? I hope the second lady gets the help that she needs. It must be exhausting to see false positives all the time, thinking you're somehow filtering out bad people by labelling all men are bad when in reality the actual bad people are figuring out how to abuse what you want to believe and then telling you "yes" on all the things you want to be true but aren't. Misandrists aren't even on each other's side because they attack women for having relations with good men. Fun fact: anyone who tries to distance you from the good people in your life is not your friend; they're your enemy. They're your enemy and they are lying to you about being your friend.
I love this late stage feminism posts ,they just rotate back to patriarchy. Fells like they don't even hear the stuff they are saying. Girl do you want financial freedom or a husband to sustain you? Choose an ideology, you cant just have both hahaha
Of course "they don't hear the stuff that they are saying." That would require "listening" at the least and "self-reflection." The "TikTok" phenomenon isn't about "listening" and it sure isn't about "self-reflection."
To be honest, from _only_ what Dadvocate put into this video, the last girl sounded to me like she was actually encouraging "stand by your man, but make him stand by you, too," and was, as Dadvocate possibly-correctly suggested early in that segment, confusing "50/50" for being purely about money. If she's willing to give 100% to the marriage and family, as well, and expects that from her hypothetical husband in the form of him paying for everything by being the sole provider, that's not necessarily as bad as Dadvocate seems to think she's saying. But I could be being too generous to her. I haven't seen the original clip in whole and haven't followed this woman's other posts, so I have no idea what context she's operating from. I know that, if I ever fall in love, it is likely to be with a woman who wants to be a homemaker. I am blessed to make enough to support a family on my own, and would be better able to budget with a wife who was willing and able to cook more of my meals. My budget wouldn't grow significantly shifting to more bulk purchases to feed a family, either; I can't buy efficiently for just myself without food going bad, and I don't really have time (or interest) in cooking, so I spend too much on take-out. A wife who insisted on cooking more would make my food budget more efficient without significantly increasing its cost, just feeding more people on it. (This isn't "why I want a wife," mind, but it is something I've thought about when I've looked at budgets and whether I could support a family. I SHOULD be able to; people do it on far less. But I did have to stop and think about where I spend too much money, and take-out food is one of those places.)
They are and effectively always have been demanding both (IR moar) for decades. Until something like the welfare state is destroyed they will always have it both ways as well.
What I like the most about your channel/videos is that with very little editing of the text, you could switch the genders of the people in the given scenarios and it’s still the same message: Ask for what you want, respect each other’s differences, appreciate what your partner contributes (especially if it’s a chore you’d hate doing yourself).
Ignoring the actual conversations like fr the amount of crackhead conversations at my job (1hich is fast food) is insane we once had an indepth talk about space and why my co worker thought that black holes were so common that they were convinced we were gonna get sucked into one in a couple of years And that was the tamest story
I once knew a girl who was THIS EXACT TYPE of delusional. She had 5 sugar daddies that were funding her lifestyle and when one of them wanted some of the sugar they were paying for, she'd run off to another one and ghost the 'original' until he spent more money on her. She bragged to me (a guy no less) that she was getting all of the scratch and didn't have to give out even an ounce of sugar. Until one of her daddies was over at my place (looking for her) and I spilled the whole scheme to him. He had NO IDEA that she had other daddies and that she was just hanging out with them whenever he got needy. From what I managed to piece together from her crying, screaming, rage fit that she had over the phone at me, this daddy went through her phone when she left it unlocked, copied down the other daddies' phone numbers (she ACTUALLY had them listed in her phone as Sugar Daddy Brent, Sugar Daddy Tyrone, etc), reached out to them, and got them all to realize that all 5 of them were paying through the nose to fund a spoiled brat who didn't even give any of them anything in return. It turns out that, in addition to Sugar daddy 1-5, she ALSO had Booty Call 1-3 in her phone too.
"Imagine what it's like to be a new dad" -All your hobbies were boxed up years ago because the new mom hated them -All your friends left because they hate your wife. -The shrieks from her about how we do everything wrong is painful. -Ok, no pressure to breastfeed I'll give. -No unsolicited advice? Have you heard of mother-in-laws? -Society has never praised me for doing anything. I'm a man. I don't get praise, I just get shit on -EVERYONE tells men how to parent.
"All your hobbies were boxed up years ago because the new mom hated them" - In my case she pretended to like my activity* to get close to me, and then when we became a couple it turns out she doesn't really like the activity so now I don't do it anymore either. And yeah, I know I bear some responsibility for allowing it to happen, but I still resent the deception. (*Swing dancing.)
My dad was the main parent (and provider) with his mum filling a lot of the gaps. Mum couldn't handle parenthood, which is unfortunate and I know she tried. But it hurts how little respect he got, whilst doing as much as he did. I fear the stereotypes only demotivate a lot of men, this it becomes such an unthankful job to raise your kids.
Can I just say thank you for pointing out it's not only the mom that raises the kids? I work full time nights and co-parent with my ex. When I see my kids it is a new obligation for the week cooking for them, making sure they are clean, teaching them writing, reading, and working on them with social skills. None of this is easy, I'm not asking for praise, I just honestly want the recognition that I DO something and this video has provided some of that. So thank you.
Looking at how the modern rhetoric has evolved, "hating women" now basically means "not giving a woman whatever she feels she deserves immediately" or "anything that hurts her feelings"
Well both my parents are Silent Generation so modern rhetoric may not apply, that being said my dad gave her whatever she wanted. That being said we're Catholic so divorce doesn't apply@@fnors2
It's financially expedient. When a man gets divorced, he loses his life's work and is destroyed. Women often profit tremendously from marriage and divorce, men are ruined by it.
It saddens me that this "hate men" rhetoric gets such reach these days. Most men like or dislike a woman on a case by case basis, just like they judge men, though - most - are socially conditioned to like women more simply because they are women.
I think that the vast majority of people claiming "men hate women" just comes from the assumption that they do, and cherry picking observations that could be twisted to support that notion. Like, if they are told "men focus on parts, women focus on wholes", and they hear "a woman is only body parts to a man", that is some serious case of broken telephone right there. A woman to a man is also the companion, the cutie, the mother of his kids, the target of pranks, the nagger, etc. What body parts are those? Men compartmentalize. And some are better than others at it. And if you're really good at it, you'll be branded autistic - which is socially frowned upon.
No, men are hard-wired to like women. Enough with the "social construct" bullshit. It's communist and it's untrue. Feminists have been abusing boys and men for at least the last 40 years in ways that should have had society aghast in horror. Instead it just keeps doubling down because that's what women say they want, and they use men's love for women AGAINST them. Want this to change? Women have to step the fugk up and realize they are the problem.
@@TheRawrnstuff If I look at these women who shout "men hate all women" I'm very often tempted to repond with "No, men hate you, because you're obviously not a very nice person to be around."
For the Fun Therapist that suggested women look at men as a whole: Sorry, I've never had a friend watch a unknown man go by and have her say "He's got the cutest set of... brains!"
To be fair... Dad's friend status doesn't change much after kids, getting committed killed em off already, so going from 1 or 0 to 1 or 0 is no change.
The expectation of having to work two full-time jobs just to support yourself has already forced friends to be replaced with colleagues, if even that. If that's the standard, then yeah, having kids doesn't usually really affect who your colleagues are.
@@jamesphillips2285that's not the same thing at all. That doesn't all men are rapists. Child murders are overwhelmingly done by the mother of the child especially if it's an infant. That doesn't mean all women are murderers.
When my wife gave birth to our first child, I was often told by complete strangers that I needed to do more to help my wife. She got up for breastfeeding because that's what she wanted to do. I got up for everything else. Diaper changes, colic, general grumpiness. Saved up 2 years worth of vacation time. I worked and banked as much overtime as I could. I took 6 months off work. I did, not only my regular chores (laundry, yard work, cooking, house cleaning....) but the share that my wife normally did. She had been dealing with depression both before and after birth. At one point my wife walked into the kitchen to see me making a sandwich while holding our newborn daughter and a laundry basket full of clean clothes to put away. Yet, strangers and acquaintances felt the need to tell me that I needed to "step up" and do more to "help" my wife. Like I wasn't doing everything already so that she could focus on herself.
I'm going to quote Letterkenny for that 'You're less of a woman for earning more than your man' idea: "What kind of backwards fucking pageantry is that?"
Can confirm, post partum effects dads too. It may be self inflicted, but we give ourselves health problems just to try And figure out how to care for the tiny new people as easily as we see moms do.
Two things: One, men look at everything (computer screens, fridges, etc, as examples) piecemeal and women look at everything as a whole that's why there's many stories about men not finding things and a woman comes along and finds it instantly. (my mom would do that) So it's not sexism or objectification it's differences between the sexes. And two, I do not prey on those gargoyles in elden ring they prey on me 😭
This is the reason I ask my girlfriend to help me find stuff before I start looking. It's not incompetence, it's just time saving, and I make sure she knows it's a superpower that she has.
If you really think about it, "the patriarchy" as many women describe it, the same one that says they need to be domestic servants and mothers, holds that men need to be providers. So in a very real sense women insisting that men need to pay more, that 50/50 is not okay _because they're men_ is reinforcing the patriarchy. You can't say you're breaking free of oppressive gender stereotypes while REIMPOSING oppressive gender stereotypes on the other half of the population.
My boundaries are as follows: 1) she *MUST* get along with my two cats! That is not open to discussion or debate 2) we will both be *faithful* to each other, ie monogamous 3) I can make my own sandwich and do my laundry thank you! 4) if I find out she is spending money like there's no tomorrow, putting me in debt, I *WILL* toss her out on her butt! I know that's a lot to ask for these days. What can I say? I won't apologize for having standards.
That lady with the glasses’ message is… incredibly alarming. I’d like to think that that’s just the opinion of someone who is terminally online and just has some shit to work through, AND I’d also like to think that if someone told me that in person, I’d have the spine to be like “girl, that’s scary as shit, please go to therapy. Like, EVERY DAY. Every day for at least a month.“ I’m not a man, but my best friend is, and he is a good enough man to disprove every evil stereotype about men. I’m so grateful to have him in my life.
2 weeks of no sleep before my daughter was born probably mental issues, broke my ankle leaving the house to goto the hospital with my wife. drove with it because she was in more need, then stood on it for 15 hours while she was in labour, mainlining redbull with caffine tablets while over dosing on painkillers. Nearly died of a stroke, with blood pressure at 200 over 170 because i didnt want to complain or ask for help. i was 36 years old and that was the dumbest move of my life. the next 2 months are a story in what dissociation looks like, as my wife was ill and i was working all day and up all night with my little one, because of premature complications. every night feeding for the first 3 monts was done by me. Random funnyness was when the nurse took my blood pressure because my wife asked her to, and then the nurse nearly passed out.
I'm the dad of a toddler, and I remember what it was like when she was born. - When starting a new job about 3 months before the due date, I negotiated a higher hourly rate partly so that I could afford to take two weeks off (unpaid) when our baby arrived. - My hobbies and friendships were not unaffected. I gave up playing video games after several months so I could spend that time focusing on my daughter. I would love to hang out with my friends every 1-2 weeks, but both my daughter and my wife need me to spend time with my daughter. It's more like every 1-2 months with just "me and the boys." - Yes, people gave me unsolicited advice. I typically didn't mind because a) I was new to parenting, and the advisors had experience, and b) it typically was in a positive manner, not like "You're doing this wrong." - Becoming a new dad was not a physical hardship, at least not compared to childbirth and its aftermath. However, I did lose sleep and had to change some TOXIC diapers just like my wife did. Additionally, I exhibited symptoms of depression in the first few months. Therefore, I can't say that my health was completely unaffected. - I now have a job with 4 weeks paid parental leave, so I'm ready for whenever we're blessed with a second child.
Praised for doing the bare minimum? Last I checked, we men don't get praised for anything other than risking our life to save others or maybe being the best at something, but we are otherwise expected to just provide free labor and support to others, such as their wife, daughters, elderly or disabled people. Also, most of the money men make at work goes to putting a roof over your head and food in your belly and clothes on your back and everything else you want, and babies only raise the bills.
You, madam, are a national treasure. Thank you for your balanced and fearless take-downs of our current bumper-crop of social media trolls. I hope you become a ga-zillionaire for your efforts.
One of my favorite quotes was an older married couple "There is no 50/50, it's 100/100, that's the only way it truly works." Edit: That's paraphrased btw.
As someone who was raised by a stay-at-home father while my mother was the financial provider, that last one resonates with me. To hell with whoever thinks my father is any less of a man, or my mother any less of a woman, for not conforming to outdated traditional gender norms.
Hey, mad props to the stay at home dad! Anyone who's actually saying he's less of a man is confused beyond belief about the stresses and sacrifices that takes. Totally just someone on the internet saying this, but that man has my respect.
When my son was delivered caesarian, I took over the cooking so my wife could heal. Boy is 16 now and I still enjoying cooking the meals. Wife and I are both on early retirement AKA disability. We were both hands on parents and division of labor is somewhat arbitrary. Sonny Boy helps me with the lion's share of manual labor, however, because biological reality is what it is
"If you get pregnant, we'll figure it out with no plan." Exactly. Because men know how to improvise their way to a solution. Having a rigid pre-formatted schedule is a waste of time. Because nothing will go "according to schedule". All you need is a goal, and the drive to deal with complications as they arise. This isn't a man being without a plan. His plan is "deal with it when it becomes a problem". Because right now? He's already improvising the solution to the current problem. He ain't got time to take a time-out to draw up a 12 point plan for a problem that may not even exist.
Staying home and raising kids as a "stay at home mom" is work, and it isn't easy. But its never LIFE THREATENING!! I've worked at a steel mill. EVERYTHING in the place wants to kill you!! Work on an oil rig. Hell....be a trash collector.... more trash collectors are killed than police and firemen COMBINED! Do it in Texas when its 105 degrees and try not to die of heat stroke. Then come home and listen to your wife tell you how you're failing the family because you didn't do the dishes? No...screw that. Sure, there's a GOOD reason I never had kids or got married., and got a vasectomy at 28. Which is the same reason I'm retired at 62 with a paid off house....and I was raised in a household where house work was stuff that needed to be done....by anybody! Man or woman. My mom taught us how to sew and cook and iron our clothes. Because she didn't raise idiots who can't take care of themselves. You won't need to tell me about cleaning up the toxic puke that covered the bathroom and I won't tell you about the guy I was working with that had his eye ripped out by the steel coiler machine ....true story. Its amazing how much blood a person can lose and still walk.....while screaming. The nightmares from that are just awesome too. Trade places?
As for your point about having talk about finances and stuff like that before moving in i like what my aunt told my sister about it "Its much easier to have these discussions when you are friends, rather than when you are enemies" so people moving in should have these things talked about and preferably written before moving in together, saves alot of issues in the future
What always got to me about the dad babysitter thing is that, yes a mother has to do a lot for a kid... but they forget where they do it! They do it in the house I provide, in comfort and light from the electric bill I pay, with full stomachs from the food I provide. Yet me spending time with my child, pitching in, and having genuine fun with my child is the bare minimum and not icing on the cake? How?
@@danyalraza9707 Even then, it only changes form in the slightest of ways, going from _I provide_ to _we share._ Not 100% sure, but I think therein lies the point; even in a dual income household, if everything else is something the couple shares, why is childcare the one thing that he's merely "helping" with at best? At the end of the day, if somebody wanna take all the credit, then they can do all the work. If it's _our job_ then it's _our efforts, our accomplishments;_ if it's only *your victories, your achievments* then it can be *your fuckin job too*
@@danyalraza9707 in my case it was a single income family, and my now ex had little appreciation for it. So now SHE works 60 hours a week and has 0 domestic help.
I've only been in touch with my friends once in 12+ years of being a dad. kids come first. I was first to have kids. this is just what happens. I basically said "goodbye" and because they were my friends they understood and supported. it's what men do.
Now you get to brag about being a loser that flogs the piss out of himself at work and has no life because SHE WANTED IT. And men wonder why their wives don't respect them.
Being a stay at home mom probably sucks when you have kids, but when the kids grow up and start taking care of things themselves then it will be easier. When the kids are out of the house, then they just have the house to worry about, and I’m sure they’ll have the house work down to a science at that point and then there will be loads of leisure time, while the man still has to work the rest of his life. Heck, you could be a lucky woman who is a “stay at home mom” who also has a nanny and a maid, so you can spend your days out by the pool or at the spa. Very few men would ever get that treatment.
Each stage has challenges but if managed correctly they can be pretty self sustaining. Told my wife that while it is tough now it will show results in 2-3 year but you and I need to be on the same page and work together. Dont get me wrong but its tough to go out and bust my ass at work for 12hr days though i know ahe has issues during her day with the boy but when i get home it then becomes us taking care of the boy thus she gets some time to unwind and i get to see 2 smiles if veen waiting for all day. Team work makes dream work.
My new wife had nothing but her cloths. She was a senior in high school. All of my cash went into business. No she was not pregnant but she was 18. I loved her and still do. I lost her three years sgo to cancer. This was after 43 years of marriage.
I truly appreciate what you are doing in advocating for men, however, all I can think when watching your videos is that it's a lost cause to try and date. The focus on how terrible these particular women are only helps to cement my own experiences with the same stuff. I recognize that there are good women out there, but I also know that they are in loving, committed relationships because the man they are with knows how valuable that is. If I could request something of you, please can we get more examples of the good women and not shine so much of a spotlight on the bad ones from time to time please? I feel it's important to see both sides if we are ever going to get out of this hole.
I am continually amazed and delighted at your insight into men and your perceptiveness in identifying and articulating the games, tests, and other manipulations that go on. Even the illustration that 50/50 does not mean complete equality in each and every individual thing, but shared equally on the whole, to each person’s satisfaction caught me a little off-guard and made me smile. Thank you!
Bare minimum is a Bulls**t call. Men are usually the bread winners, and when we're not, it's because she took the kids +half + alimony. So when we still do work to make life better for the kids, even though we couldn't have custody because of society, we still find the time to do so. That seems a bit more than "bare"!
On men breaking women down by features: This is only a part of the story and it paints an inaccurate picture - the "lie by omission" makes it a narrative. Yes men do deconstruct features. But in my experience, as a man, we deconstruct all features we can see, including but not limited to personality. The deconstruction of physical features is just a small piece. So let me ask you, how do you get to know someone if not by their features? Their smile (is it genuine or forced), the way they laugh (again genuine or forced), how attentive they are to you, their interests, how do their interests match your interests, are they attracted to you, are you attracted to them, stolen: do they take the kids on walks at empathetic times (absolutely a feature we might also notice) etc. And yes we miss stuff, but that's called being human and a different person. ^Those are all features. Some are physical associated, yes. But not all of them. The physical associated ones are just a part of the whole. And then, depending on the man, the man thinks about what's important to him - which is perfectly valid, he should have control over his own interactions and the continuation or discontinuation of them (ie, who he continues to keep in his life) - and he decides if your features match his criteria, what he's looking for - which is also perfectly valid man or woman, everyone as a individual should have this control over their lives. Make sense?
Another feature we look at, or at least should, is the people they surround themselves with. These people are the biggest influence on their lives, and if you see them surrounding themselves with people with poor habits or behaviors. It's a red flag, either because these are behaviors or habits she shares, or just from long term exposure.
She is a therapist; her job is to find customers. If she were to help people, she would lose clients and shut down. But her veiws drove her discoveries, not the other way around.
As a psychotherapist-in-training, I can say that the number of therapists like her (and with her beliefs) is disturbing, and the fact that most of them are BAD at their jobs (not just, like, aggressively average but like objectively, "how are you still licensed", horrible) is even worse.
As a man that got used and manipulated once by a girlfriend who also accused me of doing it that woman genuinely told on herself. She is the problem, not men. My ex absolutely ran through me, I’m better now but during our time together I genuinely thought I was a terrible person incapable of doing anything right and she just perpetuated it and watched. Ironically she’s probably put me on the list of rapists and gaslighter boyfriends before me. Just absolutely disgusting, I’ve had a hard time finding connection with women since. It callused my soul for sure.
I honestly feel disappointed with the dating scene, but I'd never say I hate women. Also had a guy at work recently cry on me because he missed his kids' entire childhood because he had to be the sole earner.
If a man is crying because he missed out on his kids growing up because he had to work for a living, he should NEVER have had kids. If you're entire life is nothing but working then you shouldn't have children because you have more important things to do than raising children.
I raised a son and daughter and they are both very kind and hardworking people that treat folks well. I cannot imagine either of them dismissing broad categories of people. I really appreciate your work. The double standards and blanket hatred of men is such a disappointing missed opportunity. Societally, we need to find ways forward that make space for everyone. I hope some of this is a passing trend and the toxicity online lessens over time. Men and women should be very deliberate in choosing partners to have kids with and ideally should do the work to sort themselves out first as well. Thanks for bringing humor and clarity to some profoundly important topics. Much respect.
Thanks Danielle, You made me realize that I've been thinking about my own gender all wrong this whole time. Now I understand that I never loved my mother, sisters, or cousins, my parents' loving, supportive marriage has been a decade-spanning farce, and I am unable to form friendships with anything that possesses a vagina. I can't imagine being so self righteous as to dare tell someone that they are incapable of loving their own family.
While I don't fully buy into the red pill rhetoric. It didn't develop in a vacuum. There is a very real streak of misandry going through the culture that minimizes men's issues, while exaggerating or outright fabricating issues regarding women. A lot of men who jump into red pill or mgtow were hurt, and either ignored or even put down for bringing it up. So naturally you're going to get some people clapping back, even if it isn't particularly constructive. For a lot of men, their only alternative to this is to just disengage from society entirely. Which is happening more and more, the longer men's issues get ignored.
I've stumbled across your channel and although not everything hits home with me I do understand alot you say. I would love to have a dinner over at your (family) house. it sounds (and looks as far as he's been on screen) like you and your husband have such a great understanding. ofcourse its not all sunshine and roses but I'm not one to take out the popcorn to watch the fights. you guys do you!
A lot of women judge other women based on the superficial status of their spouse. Sometimes moreso than on the woman's own accomplishments, and it is as you say pretty archaic. They also the judge the potential spouse on the same criteria. This is where women will chase after HVM even though there is personally little to gain for them from that man and a lot to give up as he often is a poor spouse.
Watching these vids is always a wierd tug of war between rage and "hell yeah you tell em" lol. The nutcases in the clips fill me with rage, and then Dadvocate comes along to remind us that some unknown amount of sane women still exist in this world. I really do love watching good women stand up to the shitty ones. Especially on our behalf.
these women would hate me then, i had to quit my job because i was working 60+ hours and was leaving before the kids got up and getting home after they were asleep, i was burnt out and stress because i couldnt see the kids. what did my partner do? she became the primary earner and i became the stay at home parent and we are both so much more happy because of it.
The second short is super good advice. My husband and I were a long-distance relationship, but we suffered no life-altering surprises when we got married and moved in together, because all our long emails and phone conversations were intense interviews about what really matters in life.
I love that with my bf he will be like “I love your hair I love your leg I love your stomach” and it’s all well thought out and he has like a treatise on my it and I’m just like “Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou” and occasionally I’ll tell a goddamn epic about how I picture our lives together and how important he is to me
"If your response to seeing people behave like monsters is to become a monster, you're not a 'better monster'." Oh my God, that is hitting so hard and feels so universally applicable.
4:05 Yeah, so sorry ladies that guys look at the things you're advertising. "He's looking at my legs and face that I put in a lot of effort to look nice; therefore, he's objectifying me!" Maybe he thinks you look nice? Yeesh.
My wife and I went to something called an Engaged Encounter before marriage. It was a religious thing. But it was also just solid relationship advice. One of the things talked about was the ratio. Most people said "yeah 50:50 makes sense to me." And they said no that's actually wrong. You need to put yourself in the mindset of 100:100. Yes, technically that is impossible, you can't both pay 100% of the bills. You can't both 100% clean the house. But it's the idea of wholly giving yourself to your spouse. Because if you do these 60 40 / 70 30 / 90 10 splits will just happen naturally. It doesn't work unless both people do it. But yeah some days you can only give 10. Partner makes up for it with 90. You just do it because you're committed to each other. No transaction. No condition. This also doesn't mean you can't have your own existence. You can have hobbies. Me time. Whatever. That's part of it. This idea seems super alien in the modern dating landscape because it's in direct opposition to "do whatever makes you happy". But that's just it. It ain't about you anymore. You're a unit now and you look out for each other. You find happiness together.
I love your content! I often watch your stuff, and I am so grateful that I found my girlfriend, and am therefore off the market. As someone who survived a very toxic and abusive marriage in my past, I can resonate with your insight, and your examples are cautionary tales of the villains, villainesses, and monsters who lurk in the dating world. Keep being amazing. :D
Here's something for the people who don't understand why some men seem to be weird about having kids. When men are deemed financial providers and often struggle to get time with their kids, missing the important moments. First steps, first words, trick or treating, whatever else. That can make said kids seem like financial burdens with no payoff. Imagine wanting to buy a boat, but for whatever reason, you're never allowed to have time with your boat. Instead, someone else does, but you're expected to pay for maintenance on that boat. At a point you ask "Do I even really want the boat?" Dads need time with their kids too!
So when my daughter was born I called up my friends, when it was reasonable to do so since we left for the hospital at like 3am, to let them know that d&d was going to be postponed for a bit as far as I was concerned. Ironically my friend told me that was fine since his brother's wife went into labor the same day. My friend has a nephew born only a fews hours apart from my daughter.
"where women are telling me that I'm less of a woman because I'm the primary earner....." ".....if I want to advance my career and my husband agrees to be the main stay-at-home parent so that I can do that I'm going to do that and you're not going to tell me that I'm less of a woman or that he's less of a man" As a man who resents gender roles and patriarchal culture, I'm grateful to you for expressing that.
You should add a fourth thing to the list of things to set out before moving in together: You need to agree that the boundaries can change if necessary. My wife of ten years and I have gone through two job changes each, with both requiring sleep schedule changes, housework reassignment, and so on. It's great to have plans, but couples need to understand that plans can be changed if necessary.
I am so happy that you brought it up . I just assumed that relationships were exclusive by definition when I was with my girlfriends . I do not want to be with a woman that is riding every horse on the ranch . Women do not realize just how much men love women . Sex is only like 1/50th of the puzzle . I have had 4 girlfriends and I didn't have sex with any of them That has to be saying something and it is not that I am afraid of sex . I have so much respect for women that I do not want to create a soul tie that won't last that and women fall in love easier than men . I do not want to break any woman's heart plus I would never just use a woman for sex then discard her like a used condom .
If men don’t like women as people, and all relationships are transactional, why would we bother having relationships *at all* ? Why have kids? Why not just go to see a sex worker every other week and not bother with those women we supposedly hate? Why share living quarters to just get laid, especially when so many people have different cleanliness and tidiness (not the same) standards? Why not just hang out with your guy friends and stay single? It’s interesting to me someone so smart can’t see the gaping holes in their own arguments. But then, I suspect she has an agenda.
If it is not 50/50 and the man pays for everything, then he gets to decide which cable plan and cellphone plan to use. He gets to decide what kind of car to buy. And what "extras" get bought for the family, like gym memberships, when qnd where you take vacation trips, product subscription services, etc. Going 50/50 is not just about balancing the finances, but coming to an agreement on how the family will function.
I am a father. I cherish my memories with my sons, the time I spend with them, the love I've given them, the things I've taught them, the scoldings I've levied on them, the respect I've grown in them, the faith I've sustained in them, the knowledge I've gained from them, and the context their lives have given me about what life is, why we are here, and what we are supposed to do with this life. Big causes. Big issues. These are what face my boys today. Wars without end, defense of apartheid, extreme debt. These arguments between men and women are such a great distraction; we can keep putting off taking care of things that matter on the global scale. The bigger issues of the world are about to collapse down on our heads because we are so focused on what gender someone claims to be, or how rotten women are to men, or how abusive men are to women. This is an obsession, and it is eating away at our ability to handle larger affairs.
0:57 - "Praised"? Really? New fathers aren't praised for anything. New fathers get "expectations" from EVERY direction. But rarely get "praise". Just about ALL of the praise goes to the new mother. New fathers are treated as post-birth tertiary female accessories (AT BEST). Instead, new fathers get the constant "now that you are a father, your life doesn't matter anymore. It's all about the baby and the mom!" treatment at EVERY turn. Can't really blame guys for wanting a sense of normalcy with their friends and hobbies. And if "bare minimum" means keeping a steady job amongst the sleepless nights while being a personal gopher to a chick who can't be bothered to get her butt off of the couch and a complete lack of peace, then yeah.... y'all just getting the bare minimum for a bit until shit settles back down into a routine that I can manage. Don't like it? Don't care. Go tell all of the people who are congratulating you for getting raw dogged.
Ah yes, all of those women that I hate and spend my time with and laugh and enjoy the company of, obciously just because I want to sleep with them despite no attempts ever to do so. And my wife, yes I clearly hate her and she totally isn't my best friend at all, it's just me wanting to use her body for my own gratification, THATS why its so important to me to find a TTRPG to play with her amd THATS why its so important I teach her the basic life skills to live independantly, it's totally NOT just me wanting to spend time with my wife and to make sure she's equipped to live if the worst should happen to me
I've said this a few times but I think it bears repeating. This "praised for the bare minimum" thing cuts both ways. Men are praised for doing little things in the realm of child rearing because much of society's primary value statement about men revolves around their income and earning potential as a provider. So the whole "back to work right away" thing is less a benefit and more that he would get mercilessly shit on if he wasn't providing immediately after taking responsibility for a new helpless human. Moms, on the other hand, are judged for their value within the home immediately after the kiddo comes along. So she would get mercilessly dragged if she blew off her "motherly responsibilities" to go back to work too soon. It's part of why society hates moms who use day care services before a certain point. So what you get is that yeah, a Dad taking his kid to the park or changing diapers or doing the 2 AM feeding gets heaps of praise...because the assumption is that he is already exhausted and stressed from all the working. Similarly, mom dipping a toe back into job market even if it's just an etsy store will get heaps of praise because the assumption is that she's doing it all on the motherhood front. If people find out those assumptions are false though then that parents gets crapped on without mercy. It's not great for either side of the gender divide.
You know as a guy who has been single for longer than he cares to admit. On some level I don't care if a woman just wants to use me for carnal pleasure as long as we're both in agreement about what the situation is. And if her concern is merely getting off (and assuming I can't as she insists) then why does she need me? She's already established she doesn't believe I can complete the carnal objective. And frankly if my goal is a climax I have an internet connection. So she shouldn't be surprised when the men out there who want a physical and emotional relationship avoid her like the plague. She clearly doesn't need us so why would we bother wasting both of our time?
You misplace patriarchy as the culprit for men’s plight, patriarchy hasn’t effectively been instated since the sexual revolution due to a man having a cultural say in what his wife does was more or less put to death during that time. No, you’re talking about gynocentrism. We can argue at length about where that gynocentrism came from. But if feminism didn’t also remove it in their quest for equality that should tell you that… well equality wasn’t really the goal. They wanted benefit- they wanted gynocentric policy. Patriarchy at its core is male authority in the household and family. If you don’t have that- then you don’t have a patriarchy. You can get into the nitty gritty. But the more and more you misplace that as the name of men’s problems then I think you’re frankly ignoring the real issue. Ignorantly in good faith or otherwise.
2:21 saved for me, for my future relationship which is budding every time we see each other. As a 50 yo just out in the dating world, there is so much I don’t want to get wrong again. Thank you
I keep typing and erasing different ways to say it, but I really appreciate your rational and egalitarian commentary. You're fighting the good fight. We can all get along if we just put in the effort and honest intention.
"If we were out in nature" Woman, do you know why you're in a comfortable building, with furniture and climate controls? Because some men built it for your protection and comfort. You're welcome.
True. And I would add that other men maintain the infrastructure that provides power, heat, water and communication for her to tell us how she doesn’t need men and that instead of protecting her, men are her predator. I swear there are some people who need to spend some time away from the comforts they have enjoyed their whole lives so they can talk with some knowledge about “nature.”
@@Guildofarcanelore I guarantee that the first time she was outside the service range of her cell phone, she'd be looking for a man to provide her food and safety.
@@Guildofarcanelore "The wolves are not to be trusted," said the chicken in the comfort of her coop built by wolves, on a soap box maintained by wolves, using a device designed by wolves.
0:35 : Here in California, the law mandates that employers must provide at least 1 month of paid Maternity leave for female employees, AND at least 1 month of paid Paternity leave for male employees, if they have a new baby.
Imagine what it's like to be a "New Dad": Holding my newborn son all night because he's colicky and my (now ex) wife is suffering from Post-Partum depression (didn't realize it at the time) and he won't breastfeed...and finally falling to sleep after 48 hours of being awake after he came home, sitting on the couch holding the little guy, only to wake up from the first sleep I have had in the past two days because "he's too quiet." After a moment of terror, which woke him up from the first meaningful sleep HE had as well, he starts crying again and then my (now ex) wife wakes up, gets out of bed, and yells AT ME for not being able to make the baby be quiet and waking HER up. Yeah, us "New Dads" have it freaking easy...
Having the baby REALLY woke up the "you should be able to read my mind" attitude too
@@Richard_Nickerson no doubt. I just always thought it was...ironic...because my (now ex) wife was always a sound sleeper so it was me always getting up at 2am (or 4) and yet it's never assumed that "the new father" ever suffers. I'd argue that those early days of fatherhood...for both my sons...was harder on me than it was her, though I don't begrudge her the pain of labor or the post-partum depression. But according to "the women," I had it "easy" while she had all the hard work.
Don't forget still having to go to work during the day. While she get 6 months off and no fear of losing her job.
For the first 6 months I got at most an hour of sleep a night. Had baby duty at night and work from 6am to 6pm. Military only alots us guys 10 days of leave for a new child.
Girls : *stomping loudly at 4am*
Also girls : "why are you tired?"
@@pastorjerrykliner3162
I was also the only one staying up past midnight/responding to the middle-of-the-night cries. And then she complained constantly about being the one who always had to wake up early.
I worked 2nd shift (4pm-midnight). I took care of him 12am-3am. OF COURSE you're the one waking up with him in the morning, lady. Not my fault she refused to nap when he napped either.
Saying men have no emotions just because we don’t express them the way women do is like putting a fish in a terrarium and blaming the fish for not breathing properly
That's a perfect analogy
Men show no emotions to women because women will LEAVE. Toxic masculinity is just what men learned they had to do to keep a woman around long term.
We also are perfectly capable of expressing our feelings in words, we're usually just so traumatized over having our feelings treated as useless, causing insecurity or being a burden, that we just tend to keep quiet about them...
I'm tired of my feelings being weaponized against me. I've litteraly been physically attacked and I... and no one else got taken to HR and told I can't express emotions. Litteraly a woman was hitting me and I was told it's because you sounded angry to her. So I need to check my emotions.
That's what being a man is. I litteraly did check my emotions by not putting her into a hospital or grave.
Meth head co-worker threated to kill me/called me slurs both multiple times. Reported him and the HR lady told me "It doesn't soouuund like him" & "I don't think he'd do thaaat."
They reduced my hours (not his) to keep us more separated. Then later fired him after he cussed at a female coworker. I never got my hours back...
"Men are just pieces of meat"
Me: if I were just a piece of meat at least someone would want me
Right?!? I lol'd. After 28 years I realized I married a vegetarian, apparently...
@@hippie_preppy_jock😂😂
Facts
If you spend any time on dating sites you'll see that a good percentage of women over 30 seem to want to have children more than they actually want a man. The way they phrase it actually does seem like men are just a means to an end for them to get the status they desire.
@@Smellslikegelflingain’t that some truth. It’s kinda hurtful when your spouse says something like they’ve had everything planned out since they were preteens, and that they thought they would’ve had done XYZ by this time. The implication is that IM the one that doesn’t get to have any plans for my life.
The feeling of just being a sperm donor is a hard feeling the shake
It was a common sitcom trope back in the day to have the wife and the husband swap roles for a day, each of them talking crap about how the other one had it so easy or "I'll show my partner how this is done!" And always always always, at the end each of them would get wiped out by the other's task list and they would both at least appreciate that the other had their own difficulties and that the other deserved credit for doing their thing as well as they do. I don't watch a lot of TV any more, but maybe we need to bring this back to defuse some of this battle of the sexes nonsense.
Ah the good old Grass is Greener episode trope. I was just thinking this, actually, so thank you for also remembering them.
I'm not saying your wrong I just find it funny in a sad way, people only now care about said sexism because men are pushing back against it and when they find the entirety of society is against them, they leave. Now because so many have left, now suddenly the conflict is bad. Just my stream of thought thinking.
While hypothetically that sounds like a good idea, it really isn't in practice. Most jobs, especially well earning ones, require certain skills and familiarity with the workplace to perform at all correctly. Do you really think your boss would accept your significant other coming in and doing your job for a day? You probably wouldn't have your job long.
@@david2869
Tell me you've never seen what OP is talking about without saying it.
@@david2869 I...think they're talking about bringing it back as a TV trope. Not real life.
"Going to work is the easiest job ever" -Someone who has probably only ever had white collar office jobs
Going to work is really easy. It's the work once there what is tasking.
@@rafarequeni822 Thats a matter of what your commute looks like.
@@RebelCowboysRVs 45 minutes to an hour and a half in heavy traffic
I've worked as a journeyman splicer and now I'm an engineer. Both jobs are difficult, it's just that they are difficult in different ways. Doing a skilled trade and having a tired body is a tough way to make a living, but so is having to deal with the bureaucracy and budget issues of getting those projects designed and funded.
@@RebelCowboysRVs Tangential thought: Does an over-the-road trucker have nothing but commute, or no commute at all?
“Modern society is making women take on more masculine roles.”
Ma’am, there was an entire wave of feminism that fought for the right of women to enter the workforce, earn their own money, and become independent. You can’t just backtrack over decades of history and social progress because you want someone to pay bills for you.
Right? Feminism is a century-long scam meant to devalue the vote, destroy the nuclear family, and diminish the earning and purchasing power of the lower and middle classes. The fact that the majority of women still haven't caught onto this in all this time speaks to either the insidiousness of the movement or the gullibility of its victims. Take your pick.
If you want equality don't complain about equality
Feminism was/is a psyop to subvert western traditions and society.
This is such a strange idea because men and women were asked to redistribute roles because they couldn’t take “all of one”. This is fair but if you’re asking dudes to take “feminine roles”, you’re going to be asked to take some masculine ones.
Pretty sure she doesn't want equality. I highly doubt she would consider herself a feminist since that was probably one of the most anti-feminist takes outside of pearl davis
These ladies convince me more and more that the patriarchy was always a joint effort. The farther away from it we get, the more they shame us for not striving to fill that expected role.
It's why so many men are just opting out of marriage, or even out of romantic relationships entirely: too many women expect men to hold to the traditional role in a relationship, while not believing that they should be held to theirs. What's the upside for any man in such a relationship?
I started telling people that "the patriarchy" is an emergent property of a system that developed from the differences in men's and women's biologies (which includes how the mind operates!) and how those differences complement each other.
Of course the patriarchy was always a joint effort. For the women blessed with a kind capable men it made life so much easier than life on their own. The opposite is also true men blessed with kind capable women their lives are so much easier as well.
I love too that whenever something in society is bad for men and they complain about it the de facto response is "well men built society so it's your fault" as if a group of men long ago in a spooky castle decided what society would be, and that society didn't just form naturally through the crucible of thousands of years of needing to survive and advance as a species.
Because if they can blame the invisible patriarchy, they don’t have to take accountability for their actions. They just say they’re oppressed and that it’s “okay” to hate men.
I just can't get over the "men hate all women and just want them for s*x" thing. If you've EVER been even 10 miles from a healthy marriage you would know that this is just not true. A man's love for his wife is an amazing and beautiful thing. There is nothing like it.
Chances are these women have all met dudes who happened to use them like that, but they keep going for the same dudes. So "all men" is merely the marginal sample they had of the entire male population on Earth
If men really only wanted women for s*x there would be no marriages and a lot more brothels.
After all, a hooker isn't paid to come to you for sex but to leave afterwards.
The fact that that woman is counseling anybody about anything is quite frightening. I can't imagine how much harm her counselling causes to others.
It's literally a cliche that married couples don't sleep together often. If men only wanted women for their anatomy how could that cliche possibly exist? They'd all have divorced if that was the only thing they wanted.
For my part the companionship is significantly more important than the sex.
Women: We want equal pay!
Men: Great! Then you can help pay the bills!
Women: No, men must still provide for us!
See, this is why men dominated almost every profession in the distant past. It wasn't because of "misogyny"...it was because men were legally and socially REQUIRED to provide for the women and children in their households, and women were not. Women had zero financial responsibility for anything or anyone...not even for themselves (unless there was no man to take care of them). Being expected to provide for a household was not a "privilege"...it was an obligation. And most jobs were not glamorous or prestigious (but feminists act as if they were, in order to make women as resentful as possible). A large percentage of men worked in hard, dirty, and/or dangerous jobs...and a great many still do.
@@kylemacdougall8355 It's somewhat hard to prove, but I would bet that banks and corporations in the 1960's and 70's helped amplify feminist messages about women leaving the home and entering the workplace. It resulted in vastly increasing the number of people in the workforce, thus helping to suppress wages and at the same time increasing credit lending and spending.
@@SmellslikegelflingI was thinking of that before. They started to realize holy shit with 2 people working that's twice the employees out in the workforce and that's twice as much money so it's twice as much spending.
I fucking hate the equal pay thing though becaue it's so fucking flawed it's not funny. The way they did it in the first place was flawed they just did it across the board and didn't figure in hours or jobs or nothing like that. Plus if women really did make 78 cents to $1 why are there any men employed anywhere?
@kylemacdougall8355 And it was why women didn't have as much college attendance compared to men before 1920. Because college was elitist (the first colleges were literally the ivy leagues) and men had to be able to afford to go in order to make enough money to pay for women to go. Which is why it took until 1920 for 3% of women and 4% of men to go to college.
Women: We want equal pay!
Also Women: I'm not interested in dating a man that makes less money than me.
it's so crazy hearing some of these women on TikTok saying almost the exact same thing terribly sexist men said in the past(and still do say of course). Reminds me of that one guy who gave an interview and he was blown away, had a spiritual revelation that women are also humans capable of thought, logic, reason, and emotion. Its sad to see for sure because I know so much of this sexism comes from terrible, traumatizing experiences they have had, but its just so bizarre to see from outside their incredibly limited, small, shallow worldview.
Sexism is cringe in any direction.
Nah, women have displayed their lack of humanity more than enough on social media... now, mve, foor that shining armour will not polish itself.
What's the interview?
@@40KBoss it was a tiktok clip I remember seeing first. It was from the daily wire and it was Andrew Klavan talking I bleive.
I suppose to his credit he changed his mind and grew but he does literally say "For the first 10 years I was thinking 'well of course she has no capacity for reason'".
Like hey I'm so happy if he no longer sees women that way, but that is a crazy belief to have ever had in the first place lmao.
I have literally never heard men speak about women the way women speak about men... even in the past i dont believe men have ever spoken about women in this manner.
@@thelopper43 You're right, so I talk about women even worse because I talk about their true nature.
I mean, they do kind of have a point if you squint. There are predatory men out there, but they’re predatory because they’re predatory, not because they’re men.
There are predatory women out there too.
It’s just that they have society and the legal system to watch their back.
This. Good men or women were never the problem. Bad men and women were. What the common denominator is isn't that they're men or women, it's that they're bad. And one of the hallmarks of bad people is that they're not above lying! I'd even go so far as to say all bad people are liars because how else could they think harming other people is okay?
I hope the second lady gets the help that she needs. It must be exhausting to see false positives all the time, thinking you're somehow filtering out bad people by labelling all men are bad when in reality the actual bad people are figuring out how to abuse what you want to believe and then telling you "yes" on all the things you want to be true but aren't. Misandrists aren't even on each other's side because they attack women for having relations with good men. Fun fact: anyone who tries to distance you from the good people in your life is not your friend; they're your enemy. They're your enemy and they are lying to you about being your friend.
I love this late stage feminism posts ,they just rotate back to patriarchy. Fells like they don't even hear the stuff they are saying. Girl do you want financial freedom or a husband to sustain you? Choose an ideology, you cant just have both hahaha
Of course "they don't hear the stuff that they are saying." That would require "listening" at the least and "self-reflection." The "TikTok" phenomenon isn't about "listening" and it sure isn't about "self-reflection."
To be honest, from _only_ what Dadvocate put into this video, the last girl sounded to me like she was actually encouraging "stand by your man, but make him stand by you, too," and was, as Dadvocate possibly-correctly suggested early in that segment, confusing "50/50" for being purely about money. If she's willing to give 100% to the marriage and family, as well, and expects that from her hypothetical husband in the form of him paying for everything by being the sole provider, that's not necessarily as bad as Dadvocate seems to think she's saying. But I could be being too generous to her. I haven't seen the original clip in whole and haven't followed this woman's other posts, so I have no idea what context she's operating from.
I know that, if I ever fall in love, it is likely to be with a woman who wants to be a homemaker. I am blessed to make enough to support a family on my own, and would be better able to budget with a wife who was willing and able to cook more of my meals. My budget wouldn't grow significantly shifting to more bulk purchases to feed a family, either; I can't buy efficiently for just myself without food going bad, and I don't really have time (or interest) in cooking, so I spend too much on take-out. A wife who insisted on cooking more would make my food budget more efficient without significantly increasing its cost, just feeding more people on it. (This isn't "why I want a wife," mind, but it is something I've thought about when I've looked at budgets and whether I could support a family. I SHOULD be able to; people do it on far less. But I did have to stop and think about where I spend too much money, and take-out food is one of those places.)
ofc they don't hear what they say, they're women. They talk, not listen
@@kysfggt talk about missing the forest for the trees, bud.
They are and effectively always have been demanding both (IR moar) for decades. Until something like the welfare state is destroyed they will always have it both ways as well.
What I like the most about your channel/videos is that with very little editing of the text, you could switch the genders of the people in the given scenarios and it’s still the same message:
Ask for what you want, respect each other’s differences, appreciate what your partner contributes (especially if it’s a chore you’d hate doing yourself).
As to money, a manager once said “everyone wants a sugar daddy until they gotta give daddy some sugar”,
Fast food gets some crazy conversations yo.
Ignoring the actual conversations like fr the amount of crackhead conversations at my job (1hich is fast food) is insane we once had an indepth talk about space and why my co worker thought that black holes were so common that they were convinced we were gonna get sucked into one in a couple of years
And that was the tamest story
True Facts
I once knew a girl who was THIS EXACT TYPE of delusional. She had 5 sugar daddies that were funding her lifestyle and when one of them wanted some of the sugar they were paying for, she'd run off to another one and ghost the 'original' until he spent more money on her. She bragged to me (a guy no less) that she was getting all of the scratch and didn't have to give out even an ounce of sugar. Until one of her daddies was over at my place (looking for her) and I spilled the whole scheme to him. He had NO IDEA that she had other daddies and that she was just hanging out with them whenever he got needy.
From what I managed to piece together from her crying, screaming, rage fit that she had over the phone at me, this daddy went through her phone when she left it unlocked, copied down the other daddies' phone numbers (she ACTUALLY had them listed in her phone as Sugar Daddy Brent, Sugar Daddy Tyrone, etc), reached out to them, and got them all to realize that all 5 of them were paying through the nose to fund a spoiled brat who didn't even give any of them anything in return. It turns out that, in addition to Sugar daddy 1-5, she ALSO had Booty Call 1-3 in her phone too.
"Imagine what it's like to be a new dad"
-All your hobbies were boxed up years ago because the new mom hated them
-All your friends left because they hate your wife.
-The shrieks from her about how we do everything wrong is painful.
-Ok, no pressure to breastfeed I'll give.
-No unsolicited advice? Have you heard of mother-in-laws?
-Society has never praised me for doing anything. I'm a man. I don't get praise, I just get shit on
-EVERYONE tells men how to parent.
"All your hobbies were boxed up years ago because the new mom hated them" - In my case she pretended to like my activity* to get close to me, and then when we became a couple it turns out she doesn't really like the activity so now I don't do it anymore either. And yeah, I know I bear some responsibility for allowing it to happen, but I still resent the deception. (*Swing dancing.)
Don’t forget when you are being a parent anytime your wife is not there, everyone says it must be daddy’s time to babysit.
@@mague76 Every EFFING TIME. "Oh, she trusts you to watch the baby?" or "do you need help?" Really?
Wait women breastfeeds now 😅
My dad was the main parent (and provider) with his mum filling a lot of the gaps. Mum couldn't handle parenthood, which is unfortunate and I know she tried. But it hurts how little respect he got, whilst doing as much as he did. I fear the stereotypes only demotivate a lot of men, this it becomes such an unthankful job to raise your kids.
Can I just say thank you for pointing out it's not only the mom that raises the kids? I work full time nights and co-parent with my ex. When I see my kids it is a new obligation for the week cooking for them, making sure they are clean, teaching them writing, reading, and working on them with social skills. None of this is easy, I'm not asking for praise, I just honestly want the recognition that I DO something and this video has provided some of that. So thank you.
If men hate women, why does my father stay in a loveless marriage for over 50 years. Saying he loves her even if it isn't mutual.
Or at least he was thinking of stability and safety for his children, unlike most women nowadays.
Looking at how the modern rhetoric has evolved, "hating women" now basically means "not giving a woman whatever she feels she deserves immediately" or "anything that hurts her feelings"
Well both my parents are Silent Generation so modern rhetoric may not apply, that being said my dad gave her whatever she wanted. That being said we're Catholic so divorce doesn't apply@@fnors2
@@fnors2Yup, similar to how "being controlling" pretty much amounts to just having standards and boundaries for ones partner.
It's financially expedient. When a man gets divorced, he loses his life's work and is destroyed. Women often profit tremendously from marriage and divorce, men are ruined by it.
It saddens me that this "hate men" rhetoric gets such reach these days. Most men like or dislike a woman on a case by case basis, just like they judge men, though - most - are socially conditioned to like women more simply because they are women.
I think that the vast majority of people claiming "men hate women" just comes from the assumption that they do, and cherry picking observations that could be twisted to support that notion.
Like, if they are told "men focus on parts, women focus on wholes", and they hear "a woman is only body parts to a man", that is some serious case of broken telephone right there. A woman to a man is also the companion, the cutie, the mother of his kids, the target of pranks, the nagger, etc. What body parts are those?
Men compartmentalize. And some are better than others at it. And if you're really good at it, you'll be branded autistic - which is socially frowned upon.
No, men are hard-wired to like women. Enough with the "social construct" bullshit. It's communist and it's untrue. Feminists have been abusing boys and men for at least the last 40 years in ways that should have had society aghast in horror. Instead it just keeps doubling down because that's what women say they want, and they use men's love for women AGAINST them. Want this to change? Women have to step the fugk up and realize they are the problem.
@@TheRawrnstuff
If I look at these women who shout "men hate all women" I'm very often tempted to repond with
"No, men hate you, because you're obviously not a very nice person to be around."
the "divine assignments" come from the same place all divine assignments come from: The asses of the people who benefit the most.
Perhaps Cthulhu?
For the Fun Therapist that suggested women look at men as a whole: Sorry, I've never had a friend watch a unknown man go by and have her say "He's got the cutest set of... brains!"
To be fair... Dad's friend status doesn't change much after kids, getting committed killed em off already, so going from 1 or 0 to 1 or 0 is no change.
The expectation of having to work two full-time jobs just to support yourself has already forced friends to be replaced with colleagues, if even that. If that's the standard, then yeah, having kids doesn't usually really affect who your colleagues are.
“All men are rapists” screams the feminists.
“Which men in your family take turns on you if we’re all rapists?” I always ask 🤦♂️😭😂
The brutality of that line must violate something from the Geneva convention
Actually child abuse is usually perpetrated by a family member, or at least somebody the child knows.
@@jamesphillips2285that's not the same thing at all. That doesn't all men are rapists.
Child murders are overwhelmingly done by the mother of the child especially if it's an infant. That doesn't mean all women are murderers.
@@HouseofFirefliesbro fr
That’s so legit it has to be fattening
When my wife gave birth to our first child, I was often told by complete strangers that I needed to do more to help my wife. She got up for breastfeeding because that's what she wanted to do. I got up for everything else. Diaper changes, colic, general grumpiness. Saved up 2 years worth of vacation time. I worked and banked as much overtime as I could. I took 6 months off work. I did, not only my regular chores (laundry, yard work, cooking, house cleaning....) but the share that my wife normally did. She had been dealing with depression both before and after birth. At one point my wife walked into the kitchen to see me making a sandwich while holding our newborn daughter and a laundry basket full of clean clothes to put away. Yet, strangers and acquaintances felt the need to tell me that I needed to "step up" and do more to "help" my wife. Like I wasn't doing everything already so that she could focus on herself.
I'm going to quote Letterkenny for that 'You're less of a woman for earning more than your man' idea:
"What kind of backwards fucking pageantry is that?"
Yeah, probably one of the most antifeminist positions you can possibly take ironically.
It's just like Professor Tricia says.
I suggest you let that one marinate
Letterkenny is modern day Canadian Shakespeare
Can confirm, post partum effects dads too. It may be self inflicted, but we give ourselves health problems just to try And figure out how to care for the tiny new people as easily as we see moms do.
Two things: One, men look at everything (computer screens, fridges, etc, as examples) piecemeal and women look at everything as a whole that's why there's many stories about men not finding things and a woman comes along and finds it instantly. (my mom would do that) So it's not sexism or objectification it's differences between the sexes. And two, I do not prey on those gargoyles in elden ring they prey on me 😭
As a woman, Im an outlier - *the moment you ask me to get the mayo from the pantry I'll never be able to find it even if its staring right at me*
Both cases are a skill issue, funny enough
This is the reason I ask my girlfriend to help me find stuff before I start looking. It's not incompetence, it's just time saving, and I make sure she knows it's a superpower that she has.
If you really think about it, "the patriarchy" as many women describe it, the same one that says they need to be domestic servants and mothers, holds that men need to be providers. So in a very real sense women insisting that men need to pay more, that 50/50 is not okay _because they're men_ is reinforcing the patriarchy. You can't say you're breaking free of oppressive gender stereotypes while REIMPOSING oppressive gender stereotypes on the other half of the population.
My boundaries are as follows:
1) she *MUST* get along with my two cats! That is not open to discussion or debate
2) we will both be *faithful* to each other, ie monogamous
3) I can make my own sandwich and do my laundry thank you!
4) if I find out she is spending money like there's no tomorrow, putting me in debt, I *WILL* toss her out on her butt!
I know that's a lot to ask for these days.
What can I say? I won't apologize for having standards.
As a fellow cat dad, #1 is 100% spot on. I trust their judgement completely. The rest all seem just reasonable as well though.
So you come with 2 cats? Sounds like a plus point to me.
Fox, as a straight man my opinion counts for shit
@@Ag3nt0fCha0s Nah. Your opinion counts.
@@ricku9487 Perhaps, but these days it's hard finding adults who know how to act like adults.
@@Ag3nt0fCha0s Never let someone convince you that your opinion doesn't count based on your skin or sexual preference.
That lady with the glasses’ message is… incredibly alarming. I’d like to think that that’s just the opinion of someone who is terminally online and just has some shit to work through, AND I’d also like to think that if someone told me that in person, I’d have the spine to be like “girl, that’s scary as shit, please go to therapy. Like, EVERY DAY. Every day for at least a month.“
I’m not a man, but my best friend is, and he is a good enough man to disprove every evil stereotype about men. I’m so grateful to have him in my life.
Na its just narcissim, she's the abuser and is projecting her abuse as her being the victim.
I have literally injured myself before because my partner demanded I do a project right away instead of waiting until I had the right tools.
2 weeks of no sleep before my daughter was born probably mental issues, broke my ankle leaving the house to goto the hospital with my wife. drove with it because she was in more need, then stood on it for 15 hours while she was in labour, mainlining redbull with caffine tablets while over dosing on painkillers.
Nearly died of a stroke, with blood pressure at 200 over 170 because i didnt want to complain or ask for help. i was 36 years old and that was the dumbest move of my life. the next 2 months are a story in what dissociation looks like, as my wife was ill and i was working all day and up all night with my little one, because of premature complications. every night feeding for the first 3 monts was done by me.
Random funnyness was when the nurse took my blood pressure because my wife asked her to, and then the nurse nearly passed out.
I'm the dad of a toddler, and I remember what it was like when she was born.
- When starting a new job about 3 months before the due date, I negotiated a higher hourly rate partly so that I could afford to take two weeks off (unpaid) when our baby arrived.
- My hobbies and friendships were not unaffected. I gave up playing video games after several months so I could spend that time focusing on my daughter. I would love to hang out with my friends every 1-2 weeks, but both my daughter and my wife need me to spend time with my daughter. It's more like every 1-2 months with just "me and the boys."
- Yes, people gave me unsolicited advice. I typically didn't mind because a) I was new to parenting, and the advisors had experience, and b) it typically was in a positive manner, not like "You're doing this wrong."
- Becoming a new dad was not a physical hardship, at least not compared to childbirth and its aftermath. However, I did lose sleep and had to change some TOXIC diapers just like my wife did. Additionally, I exhibited symptoms of depression in the first few months. Therefore, I can't say that my health was completely unaffected.
- I now have a job with 4 weeks paid parental leave, so I'm ready for whenever we're blessed with a second child.
Praised for doing the bare minimum? Last I checked, we men don't get praised for anything other than risking our life to save others or maybe being the best at something, but we are otherwise expected to just provide free labor and support to others, such as their wife, daughters, elderly or disabled people. Also, most of the money men make at work goes to putting a roof over your head and food in your belly and clothes on your back and everything else you want, and babies only raise the bills.
You, madam, are a national treasure. Thank you for your balanced and fearless take-downs of our current bumper-crop of social media trolls. I hope you become a ga-zillionaire for your efforts.
One of my favorite quotes was an older married couple "There is no 50/50, it's 100/100, that's the only way it truly works."
Edit: That's paraphrased btw.
As someone who was raised by a stay-at-home father while my mother was the financial provider, that last one resonates with me. To hell with whoever thinks my father is any less of a man, or my mother any less of a woman, for not conforming to outdated traditional gender norms.
Hey, mad props to the stay at home dad! Anyone who's actually saying he's less of a man is confused beyond belief about the stresses and sacrifices that takes. Totally just someone on the internet saying this, but that man has my respect.
Based avatar. Xtreme Team is underrated.
When my son was delivered caesarian, I took over the cooking so my wife could heal. Boy is 16 now and I still enjoying cooking the meals. Wife and I are both on early retirement AKA disability. We were both hands on parents and division of labor is somewhat arbitrary. Sonny Boy helps me with the lion's share of manual labor, however, because biological reality is what it is
"If you get pregnant, we'll figure it out with no plan."
Exactly. Because men know how to improvise their way to a solution. Having a rigid pre-formatted schedule is a waste of time. Because nothing will go "according to schedule". All you need is a goal, and the drive to deal with complications as they arise. This isn't a man being without a plan. His plan is "deal with it when it becomes a problem". Because right now? He's already improvising the solution to the current problem. He ain't got time to take a time-out to draw up a 12 point plan for a problem that may not even exist.
Staying home and raising kids as a "stay at home mom" is work, and it isn't easy. But its never LIFE THREATENING!! I've worked at a steel mill. EVERYTHING in the place wants to kill you!! Work on an oil rig. Hell....be a trash collector.... more trash collectors are killed than police and firemen COMBINED! Do it in Texas when its 105 degrees and try not to die of heat stroke. Then come home and listen to your wife tell you how you're failing the family because you didn't do the dishes? No...screw that. Sure, there's a GOOD reason I never had kids or got married., and got a vasectomy at 28. Which is the same reason I'm retired at 62 with a paid off house....and I was raised in a household where house work was stuff that needed to be done....by anybody! Man or woman. My mom taught us how to sew and cook and iron our clothes. Because she didn't raise idiots who can't take care of themselves. You won't need to tell me about cleaning up the toxic puke that covered the bathroom and I won't tell you about the guy I was working with that had his eye ripped out by the steel coiler machine ....true story. Its amazing how much blood a person can lose and still walk.....while screaming. The nightmares from that are just awesome too. Trade places?
As for your point about having talk about finances and stuff like that before moving in i like what my aunt told my sister about it "Its much easier to have these discussions when you are friends, rather than when you are enemies" so people moving in should have these things talked about and preferably written before moving in together, saves alot of issues in the future
What always got to me about the dad babysitter thing is that, yes a mother has to do a lot for a kid... but they forget where they do it! They do it in the house I provide, in comfort and light from the electric bill I pay, with full stomachs from the food I provide. Yet me spending time with my child, pitching in, and having genuine fun with my child is the bare minimum and not icing on the cake? How?
I mean your statement is only valid if it's not a dual income family
Because people are garbage. Everyone is convinced of, and will reinforce, their own superiority.
@@danyalraza9707 Even then, it only changes form in the slightest of ways, going from _I provide_ to _we share._ Not 100% sure, but I think therein lies the point; even in a dual income household, if everything else is something the couple shares, why is childcare the one thing that he's merely "helping" with at best?
At the end of the day, if somebody wanna take all the credit, then they can do all the work. If it's _our job_ then it's _our efforts, our accomplishments;_ if it's only *your victories, your achievments* then it can be *your fuckin job too*
@@danyalraza9707 in my case it was a single income family, and my now ex had little appreciation for it.
So now SHE works 60 hours a week and has 0 domestic help.
@@danyalraza9707 There's no such thing as a dual income family because what he makes is OUR money, and what she makes is HER money.
I've only been in touch with my friends once in 12+ years of being a dad. kids come first. I was first to have kids. this is just what happens. I basically said "goodbye" and because they were my friends they understood and supported. it's what men do.
Now you get to brag about being a loser that flogs the piss out of himself at work and has no life because SHE WANTED IT.
And men wonder why their wives don't respect them.
You got me with "Masculine is my husband reading bedtime stories to our kids"
For the woman who covers men's mouths. The sad things is, I know if a guy called the police they'd arrest him.
Being a stay at home mom probably sucks when you have kids, but when the kids grow up and start taking care of things themselves then it will be easier. When the kids are out of the house, then they just have the house to worry about, and I’m sure they’ll have the house work down to a science at that point and then there will be loads of leisure time, while the man still has to work the rest of his life.
Heck, you could be a lucky woman who is a “stay at home mom” who also has a nanny and a maid, so you can spend your days out by the pool or at the spa. Very few men would ever get that treatment.
Each stage has challenges but if managed correctly they can be pretty self sustaining. Told my wife that while it is tough now it will show results in 2-3 year but you and I need to be on the same page and work together.
Dont get me wrong but its tough to go out and bust my ass at work for 12hr days though i know ahe has issues during her day with the boy but when i get home it then becomes us taking care of the boy thus she gets some time to unwind and i get to see 2 smiles if veen waiting for all day. Team work makes dream work.
My new wife had nothing but her cloths. She was a senior in high school. All of my cash went into business. No she was not pregnant but she was 18. I loved her and still do. I lost her three years sgo to cancer. This was after 43 years of marriage.
I truly appreciate what you are doing in advocating for men, however, all I can think when watching your videos is that it's a lost cause to try and date. The focus on how terrible these particular women are only helps to cement my own experiences with the same stuff. I recognize that there are good women out there, but I also know that they are in loving, committed relationships because the man they are with knows how valuable that is. If I could request something of you, please can we get more examples of the good women and not shine so much of a spotlight on the bad ones from time to time please? I feel it's important to see both sides if we are ever going to get out of this hole.
I am continually amazed and delighted at your insight into men and your perceptiveness in identifying and articulating the games, tests, and other manipulations that go on. Even the illustration that 50/50 does not mean complete equality in each and every individual thing, but shared equally on the whole, to each person’s satisfaction caught me a little off-guard and made me smile. Thank you!
When life becomes a sitcom.
"What do you mean I'm not invited to the party?! I am a fun person!!! It's in my job title!"
Bare minimum is a Bulls**t call. Men are usually the bread winners, and when we're not, it's because she took the kids +half + alimony. So when we still do work to make life better for the kids, even though we couldn't have custody because of society, we still find the time to do so. That seems a bit more than "bare"!
On men breaking women down by features:
This is only a part of the story and it paints an inaccurate picture - the "lie by omission" makes it a narrative.
Yes men do deconstruct features. But in my experience, as a man, we deconstruct all features we can see, including but not limited to personality. The deconstruction of physical features is just a small piece.
So let me ask you, how do you get to know someone if not by their features?
Their smile (is it genuine or forced), the way they laugh (again genuine or forced), how attentive they are to you, their interests, how do their interests match your interests, are they attracted to you, are you attracted to them, stolen: do they take the kids on walks at empathetic times (absolutely a feature we might also notice) etc. And yes we miss stuff, but that's called being human and a different person.
^Those are all features. Some are physical associated, yes. But not all of them. The physical associated ones are just a part of the whole.
And then, depending on the man, the man thinks about what's important to him - which is perfectly valid, he should have control over his own interactions and the continuation or discontinuation of them (ie, who he continues to keep in his life) - and he decides if your features match his criteria, what he's looking for - which is also perfectly valid man or woman, everyone as a individual should have this control over their lives.
Make sense?
Another feature we look at, or at least should, is the people they surround themselves with. These people are the biggest influence on their lives, and if you see them surrounding themselves with people with poor habits or behaviors.
It's a red flag, either because these are behaviors or habits she shares, or just from long term exposure.
That therapist doesn't seem very capable at her job.
She is a therapist; her job is to find customers. If she were to help people, she would lose clients and shut down. But her veiws drove her discoveries, not the other way around.
As a psychotherapist-in-training, I can say that the number of therapists like her (and with her beliefs) is disturbing, and the fact that most of them are BAD at their jobs (not just, like, aggressively average but like objectively, "how are you still licensed", horrible) is even worse.
As a man that got used and manipulated once by a girlfriend who also accused me of doing it that woman genuinely told on herself. She is the problem, not men.
My ex absolutely ran through me, I’m better now but during our time together I genuinely thought I was a terrible person incapable of doing anything right and she just perpetuated it and watched.
Ironically she’s probably put me on the list of rapists and gaslighter boyfriends before me. Just absolutely disgusting, I’ve had a hard time finding connection with women since. It callused my soul for sure.
"start hating men"
Start?
Did we miss the past half century somehow?
I honestly feel disappointed with the dating scene, but I'd never say I hate women. Also had a guy at work recently cry on me because he missed his kids' entire childhood because he had to be the sole earner.
If a man is crying because he missed out on his kids growing up because he had to work for a living, he should NEVER have had kids. If you're entire life is nothing but working then you shouldn't have children because you have more important things to do than raising children.
I don't think the "men are just meat and predators" woman gets a lot of action.
If she's acting like that while trying to get some, even the most desperate men would think twice.
@@satannstuff
Yeah... she's definitely not worth that attitude
Can’t imagine why
My kids are grown beyond children but still too young to give me grandkids.
If this lady’s husband isn’t babying his babies, he’s missing out.
Same here.. well, my eldest is 21 but I doubt they will reproduce, especially since they have repeatedly said so
I raised a son and daughter and they are both very kind and hardworking people that treat folks well. I cannot imagine either of them dismissing broad categories of people.
I really appreciate your work. The double standards and blanket hatred of men is such a disappointing missed opportunity. Societally, we need to find ways forward that make space for everyone. I hope some of this is a passing trend and the toxicity online lessens over time.
Men and women should be very deliberate in choosing partners to have kids with and ideally should do the work to sort themselves out first as well.
Thanks for bringing humor and clarity to some profoundly important topics. Much respect.
This compilation makes me feel so much better being single I don’t put up with any of this BS 10 years going strong, and I don’t care
Thanks Danielle, You made me realize that I've been thinking about my own gender all wrong this whole time. Now I understand that I never loved my mother, sisters, or cousins, my parents' loving, supportive marriage has been a decade-spanning farce, and I am unable to form friendships with anything that possesses a vagina.
I can't imagine being so self righteous as to dare tell someone that they are incapable of loving their own family.
Its refreshing to hear a opinion thats not alpha dog red pill shit, or happy wife happy life shit. Almost makes me want to engage in the dating market
While I don't fully buy into the red pill rhetoric. It didn't develop in a vacuum. There is a very real streak of misandry going through the culture that minimizes men's issues, while exaggerating or outright fabricating issues regarding women.
A lot of men who jump into red pill or mgtow were hurt, and either ignored or even put down for bringing it up. So naturally you're going to get some people clapping back, even if it isn't particularly constructive.
For a lot of men, their only alternative to this is to just disengage from society entirely. Which is happening more and more, the longer men's issues get ignored.
I've stumbled across your channel and although not everything hits home with me I do understand alot you say. I would love to have a dinner over at your (family) house. it sounds (and looks as far as he's been on screen) like you and your husband have such a great understanding. ofcourse its not all sunshine and roses but I'm not one to take out the popcorn to watch the fights. you guys do you!
A lot of women judge other women based on the superficial status of their spouse. Sometimes moreso than on the woman's own accomplishments, and it is as you say pretty archaic. They also the judge the potential spouse on the same criteria. This is where women will chase after HVM even though there is personally little to gain for them from that man and a lot to give up as he often is a poor spouse.
Watching these vids is always a wierd tug of war between rage and "hell yeah you tell em" lol. The nutcases in the clips fill me with rage, and then Dadvocate comes along to remind us that some unknown amount of sane women still exist in this world. I really do love watching good women stand up to the shitty ones. Especially on our behalf.
these women would hate me then, i had to quit my job because i was working 60+ hours and was leaving before the kids got up and getting home after they were asleep, i was burnt out and stress because i couldnt see the kids. what did my partner do? she became the primary earner and i became the stay at home parent and we are both so much more happy because of it.
When I worked less to take more care of the kids I got less respect from ex wife and her family.
Learned my lesson
The second short is super good advice. My husband and I were a long-distance relationship, but we suffered no life-altering surprises when we got married and moved in together, because all our long emails and phone conversations were intense interviews about what really matters in life.
It's almost like people are capable of being complete toolbags regardless of what kind of bits they possess.
"What in the 1950's?" is my new favorite quote 😂
I love that with my bf he will be like “I love your hair I love your leg I love your stomach” and it’s all well thought out and he has like a treatise on my it and I’m just like “Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou” and occasionally I’ll tell a goddamn epic about how I picture our lives together and how important he is to me
"If your response to seeing people behave like monsters is to become a monster, you're not a 'better monster'."
Oh my God, that is hitting so hard and feels so universally applicable.
4:05 Yeah, so sorry ladies that guys look at the things you're advertising. "He's looking at my legs and face that I put in a lot of effort to look nice; therefore, he's objectifying me!" Maybe he thinks you look nice? Yeesh.
My wife and I went to something called an Engaged Encounter before marriage. It was a religious thing. But it was also just solid relationship advice. One of the things talked about was the ratio.
Most people said "yeah 50:50 makes sense to me." And they said no that's actually wrong. You need to put yourself in the mindset of 100:100. Yes, technically that is impossible, you can't both pay 100% of the bills. You can't both 100% clean the house. But it's the idea of wholly giving yourself to your spouse. Because if you do these 60 40 / 70 30 / 90 10 splits will just happen naturally. It doesn't work unless both people do it. But yeah some days you can only give 10. Partner makes up for it with 90. You just do it because you're committed to each other. No transaction. No condition.
This also doesn't mean you can't have your own existence. You can have hobbies. Me time. Whatever. That's part of it. This idea seems super alien in the modern dating landscape because it's in direct opposition to "do whatever makes you happy". But that's just it. It ain't about you anymore. You're a unit now and you look out for each other. You find happiness together.
I love your content! I often watch your stuff, and I am so grateful that I found my girlfriend, and am therefore off the market. As someone who survived a very toxic and abusive marriage in my past, I can resonate with your insight, and your examples are cautionary tales of the villains, villainesses, and monsters who lurk in the dating world. Keep being amazing. :D
Here's something for the people who don't understand why some men seem to be weird about having kids. When men are deemed financial providers and often struggle to get time with their kids, missing the important moments. First steps, first words, trick or treating, whatever else. That can make said kids seem like financial burdens with no payoff. Imagine wanting to buy a boat, but for whatever reason, you're never allowed to have time with your boat. Instead, someone else does, but you're expected to pay for maintenance on that boat. At a point you ask "Do I even really want the boat?" Dads need time with their kids too!
Is it ever going to get better for us
nope probely not
Doubtful.
Sure, after this society crumbles and is replaced
Highly doubt it it’s only progressively gotten worse since the 60’s
If you're a man you have to make things better yourself.
So when my daughter was born I called up my friends, when it was reasonable to do so since we left for the hospital at like 3am, to let them know that d&d was going to be postponed for a bit as far as I was concerned.
Ironically my friend told me that was fine since his brother's wife went into labor the same day. My friend has a nephew born only a fews hours apart from my daughter.
"Divine task" means it's what she wants to do but can't rationally justify it.
Gonna be real hard for men to go 50/50 financially when women are making more than they are.
"where women are telling me that I'm less of a woman because I'm the primary earner....." ".....if I want to advance my career and my husband agrees to be the main stay-at-home parent so that I can do that I'm going to do that and you're not going to tell me that I'm less of a woman or that he's less of a man"
As a man who resents gender roles and patriarchal culture, I'm grateful to you for expressing that.
You should add a fourth thing to the list of things to set out before moving in together: You need to agree that the boundaries can change if necessary. My wife of ten years and I have gone through two job changes each, with both requiring sleep schedule changes, housework reassignment, and so on. It's great to have plans, but couples need to understand that plans can be changed if necessary.
I am so happy that you brought it up . I just assumed that relationships were exclusive by definition when I was with my girlfriends . I do not want to be with a woman that is riding every horse on the ranch . Women do not realize just how much men love women . Sex is only like 1/50th of the puzzle . I have had 4 girlfriends and I didn't have sex with any of them That has to be saying something and it is not that I am afraid of sex . I have so much respect for women that I do not want to create a soul tie that won't last that and women fall in love easier than men . I do not want to break any woman's heart plus I would never just use a woman for sex then discard her like a used condom .
6:08 To sort of quote the 12th Doctor Who: You're not superior to people who were cruel to you, you're just a new cruel person.
If men don’t like women as people, and all relationships are transactional, why would we bother having relationships *at all* ? Why have kids? Why not just go to see a sex worker every other week and not bother with those women we supposedly hate? Why share living quarters to just get laid, especially when so many people have different cleanliness and tidiness (not the same) standards? Why not just hang out with your guy friends and stay single?
It’s interesting to me someone so smart can’t see the gaping holes in their own arguments. But then, I suspect she has an agenda.
All relationships are transactional though, not just the intimate ones, all of them, that's why they exist.
@@jonprince3237
You a robot?
If it is not 50/50 and the man pays for everything, then he gets to decide which cable plan and cellphone plan to use. He gets to decide what kind of car to buy. And what "extras" get bought for the family, like gym memberships, when qnd where you take vacation trips, product subscription services, etc.
Going 50/50 is not just about balancing the finances, but coming to an agreement on how the family will function.
I am a father. I cherish my memories with my sons, the time I spend with them, the love I've given them, the things I've taught them, the scoldings I've levied on them, the respect I've grown in them, the faith I've sustained in them, the knowledge I've gained from them, and the context their lives have given me about what life is, why we are here, and what we are supposed to do with this life.
Big causes. Big issues. These are what face my boys today. Wars without end, defense of apartheid, extreme debt.
These arguments between men and women are such a great distraction; we can keep putting off taking care of things that matter on the global scale. The bigger issues of the world are about to collapse down on our heads because we are so focused on what gender someone claims to be, or how rotten women are to men, or how abusive men are to women.
This is an obsession, and it is eating away at our ability to handle larger affairs.
"This woman's dog definitely stepped on a bee" Brilliant 😂
Thats why I dont trust the therapy industry
I am curious about where she studied. And if the things she's saying were actually taught there.
0:57 - "Praised"? Really? New fathers aren't praised for anything. New fathers get "expectations" from EVERY direction. But rarely get "praise". Just about ALL of the praise goes to the new mother. New fathers are treated as post-birth tertiary female accessories (AT BEST). Instead, new fathers get the constant "now that you are a father, your life doesn't matter anymore. It's all about the baby and the mom!" treatment at EVERY turn. Can't really blame guys for wanting a sense of normalcy with their friends and hobbies.
And if "bare minimum" means keeping a steady job amongst the sleepless nights while being a personal gopher to a chick who can't be bothered to get her butt off of the couch and a complete lack of peace, then yeah.... y'all just getting the bare minimum for a bit until shit settles back down into a routine that I can manage. Don't like it? Don't care. Go tell all of the people who are congratulating you for getting raw dogged.
Ah yes, all of those women that I hate and spend my time with and laugh and enjoy the company of, obciously just because I want to sleep with them despite no attempts ever to do so. And my wife, yes I clearly hate her and she totally isn't my best friend at all, it's just me wanting to use her body for my own gratification, THATS why its so important to me to find a TTRPG to play with her amd THATS why its so important I teach her the basic life skills to live independantly, it's totally NOT just me wanting to spend time with my wife and to make sure she's equipped to live if the worst should happen to me
I've said this a few times but I think it bears repeating. This "praised for the bare minimum" thing cuts both ways. Men are praised for doing little things in the realm of child rearing because much of society's primary value statement about men revolves around their income and earning potential as a provider. So the whole "back to work right away" thing is less a benefit and more that he would get mercilessly shit on if he wasn't providing immediately after taking responsibility for a new helpless human. Moms, on the other hand, are judged for their value within the home immediately after the kiddo comes along. So she would get mercilessly dragged if she blew off her "motherly responsibilities" to go back to work too soon. It's part of why society hates moms who use day care services before a certain point. So what you get is that yeah, a Dad taking his kid to the park or changing diapers or doing the 2 AM feeding gets heaps of praise...because the assumption is that he is already exhausted and stressed from all the working. Similarly, mom dipping a toe back into job market even if it's just an etsy store will get heaps of praise because the assumption is that she's doing it all on the motherhood front. If people find out those assumptions are false though then that parents gets crapped on without mercy. It's not great for either side of the gender divide.
You know as a guy who has been single for longer than he cares to admit. On some level I don't care if a woman just wants to use me for carnal pleasure as long as we're both in agreement about what the situation is. And if her concern is merely getting off (and assuming I can't as she insists) then why does she need me? She's already established she doesn't believe I can complete the carnal objective. And frankly if my goal is a climax I have an internet connection. So she shouldn't be surprised when the men out there who want a physical and emotional relationship avoid her like the plague. She clearly doesn't need us so why would we bother wasting both of our time?
Great to hear a woman other than my wife acknowledge a man's capacity to love.
You misplace patriarchy as the culprit for men’s plight, patriarchy hasn’t effectively been instated since the sexual revolution due to a man having a cultural say in what his wife does was more or less put to death during that time. No, you’re talking about gynocentrism. We can argue at length about where that gynocentrism came from. But if feminism didn’t also remove it in their quest for equality that should tell you that… well equality wasn’t really the goal. They wanted benefit- they wanted gynocentric policy. Patriarchy at its core is male authority in the household and family. If you don’t have that- then you don’t have a patriarchy. You can get into the nitty gritty. But the more and more you misplace that as the name of men’s problems then I think you’re frankly ignoring the real issue. Ignorantly in good faith or otherwise.
2:21 saved for me, for my future relationship which is budding every time we see each other.
As a 50 yo just out in the dating world, there is so much I don’t want to get wrong again.
Thank you
New moms are a lot more work to take care of than newborns.
I keep typing and erasing different ways to say it, but I really appreciate your rational and egalitarian commentary. You're fighting the good fight. We can all get along if we just put in the effort and honest intention.
"If we were out in nature" Woman, do you know why you're in a comfortable building, with furniture and climate controls? Because some men built it for your protection and comfort. You're welcome.
True.
And I would add that other men maintain the infrastructure that provides power, heat, water and communication for her to tell us how she doesn’t need men and that instead of protecting her, men are her predator.
I swear there are some people who need to spend some time away from the comforts they have enjoyed their whole lives so they can talk with some knowledge about “nature.”
@@Guildofarcanelore I guarantee that the first time she was outside the service range of her cell phone, she'd be looking for a man to provide her food and safety.
@@Guildofarcanelore "The wolves are not to be trusted," said the chicken in the comfort of her coop built by wolves, on a soap box maintained by wolves, using a device designed by wolves.
0:35 : Here in California, the law mandates that employers must provide at least 1 month of paid Maternity leave for female employees, AND at least 1 month of paid Paternity leave for male employees, if they have a new baby.
The army is best I think. It’s 12 weeks off, no matter the parent.
if men are pieces of me then she's a cougar, let's be real she's only chasing prey (and yes that's a double entendre based on her vibes)
7:09 ironic, calling *anybody* dumb in the same sentence that they can’t help but say “like” and “f*ck” several times over 😂