Lesbian Marries MAN, Can’t Satisfy Him | Andrew Schulz | Stand Up Comedy
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 เม.ย. 2020
- What up people. Man I couldn’t believe this. A woman in the crowd turned out to be a lesbian that was married to a man. She said she couldn’t get him off. I’ll let her explain. INDULGE!
Video By: @ALEXXMEDIA
#AndrewSchulz #StandUp #Comedy
New York native and internationally touring stand-up, Andrew Schulz is known for his hilarious and unsafe comedy. He has starred in the sitcom BENDERS (now available on Netflix), can be seen in Amazon’s SNEAKY PETE, HBO’s CRASHING, and on MTV including GUY CODE and GIRL CODE.
In the podcast realm, Schulz can be heard on the wildly popular THE BRILLIANT IDIOTS - co-hosted by nationally syndicated radio and television personality Charlamagne tha God - the hilarious sports commentary podcast FLAGRANT 2, and the film and TV analysis podcast WESTERBROS. He has made major appearances on The Joe Rogan Experience, Bert Kreischer’s BERTCAST, Joey “coco” Diaz The Chuch of What’s Happening Now. He has even done solo interviews with the likes of Lil Duval and many others.
Andrew’s online presence has touched hundreds of millions of people
across the globe and his unconventionally funny approach to the comedy world has launched him into stardome. His shows Dropping In and Inside Jokes will rack of hundreds of thousands of views weekly. Nothing is off limits for Schulz, from sex to race, and even the occasional audience heckler roast, Andrew is hungry to be the best. He can be seen in New York City performing regularly at New York Comedy Club and the Comedy Cellar. - ตลก
Andrews laugh sounds like two marbles hitting up against each other
This joke is funnier that this whole video
I mean cool guy, okay funny, not anywhere close to Bill Burr/Patrice level imho
Now I can't unhear it
you high high bruh
@@RyzeMaster STFU
Sounds like smacking two rock together underwater
He's taking brutally honest to a different level dawg
.
I know man, that was soo good almost in every second. Wreck it Ralph, Indian God
Nixon Rexzile shit was off the hook. The Beyoncé joke, everything.. he is fucking hilarious. We need more like him in comedy
He walks the line with the crowd so well
Fagun thats why we love him
That “Yes sir” came out of nowhere 😂
Samuel Thomas Out of his vagina
😂😂
Yes he was very excited to shout it out
My favourite part of the video
The “Yes sir” got me laughing in office toilet.
husband sitting their listening to his wife explain lesbian sex: 👁👄👁
yes bro. As a woman myself. The man need to leave that chick alone.😓🤦🏽♀️ No good deed
i thought the same thing and im a lesbian she’s expecting him to moan like a woman that’s wild 😂😂😂
Staged
bro he needs to send his girl out to bring other BI girls home. she gets to eat pussy, he gets twice as much pussy and to fuck other girls, and these new chicks can teach her how to please a man. everybodys happy.
@@greengoblin2308 she needs that 1 dollar/hour instead of the 0.75 cents she's getting
His crowd work is honestly something else.
Crowd work GOAT👍🏿
Janae Salinas would u be my valentine
Its tremendous. Hes almost gonna take Vos top spot
@Playlist Dealer hope not but it's hard to tell nowadays
@Playlist Dealer lol 17 rip
"YES SIR" Got me good LMAOOO
g g
Respect to that man!
It’s like a heckle that’s says, “I’m on your side, don’t burn me. “
.
THIS NIGGA SPITTIN
EPIC !
Premium 5 star service right there!
“I put on the sprinkles.”
That’s a good t-shirt. 😆
Make it well and I'll buy it!
thelonelypanda , hm; I may just have to do that.
😂
Comes wet, in the bag huh?
“She bake the cake I do the icing” is slutier
He’s pretty quick witted for being so relaxed on stage ... haven’t straight up cackled in a while but this was good
Damn he holds nothing back.
Matt Brown its such a breath of fresh air lol
@J _ If u and @Matt Brown check out my Time Traveler video,id be grateful.Im a new comic and need ur opinion.Thanks!!
Cody Kendaperpaperflowe
ll paper flower
Nah, he still doesn't cover Muslims and Allah
@@siddarth3955 he would, if muslims came to his shows
Andrew makes the words “truth” and “humor” interchangeable.. this dudes perspective of the world is incredible.
Playlist Dealer
I agree and at the same time, I think he got a little sensitive and hung up on his own view. He’s clearly been through some shit.
Playlist Dealer
George Carlin too
Good judgment makes for great comedy.
Playlist Dealer
Carlin was a genius though and really exemplifies the statement “good judgement makes for great comedy.”
@Ongo Gablogian he lies too much for comedy effect, like half the shit he says is just made the fuck up, don't get me wrong I enjoy the dude, I really enjoyed his show when it was being aired, and I also watched and laughed at all of his stand ups, but cman
“Amex platinum with the lounge access” 😂
Hashem Saad Murdered me
lost it from his "lounge"-pronounciation
@@HannyDart the...correct one? lol
😂😂😂 I’m fried man
Literally cried 😂😂😂
I love how the jokes fly out of his mouth and even HE is shocked by them and then laughs at them like he just heard it for the first time too! This guy is a LEGEND beyond belief
“This one’s a good one, get her to the island.”
Underrated joke, for sure
.
I didnt get it first it took me a sec
Don't see many comedians take that risk. Great epstein insert
That was dark
after this corona is over i'm going to see this dude, he's legit funny.
you know where he lives?
No you're not you fucking lying piece of shit fuck you
@Samuel B. I was abused as a child
My seats on the back row fam lmao
I thought your name was part of your fucking comment
My man stood up for her boyfriend. He literally exposed her and everyone like it. He is not just a comedian he is a man with good heart
I go to the clubs usually monthly. I'm rooting for the comedian to destroy anyone who opens their mouth. And Andrew can be brutal. I caught him 4 yrs ago at the NYCC.
@@ricardo950535 great man
Andrew has a great heart
Her : “It’s harder to make men come”
Him : “It’s hard work, but it’s honest work”
"He's RIGHT here, yo..." I died on that one
Carpe Imodiem Then its the guy’s fault for hitting her?
@@burns83 what??
@@burns83 Lol wtf?
I actually spit out my drink 😂
Me too...but seriously why the fuck is he still with that Lesbian
I’m not from the US and don’t have any intention to visit the country. But if I ever go there, it will be to attend this guy’s damn show.
Eighth Funk Bro wtf Russia isn’t a first world country lmao
Eighth Funk I’m from India. People here will get offended as soon as he utters his first words😂 So there’s no chance he’s coming here
Barry Mortichesky
He never said it was first world either.
Cranjis Mcbasketball yeah but he grouped it with the us and uk, so by the transitive property, he’s a dumbass
@@cuteasduck6192 people aren't even mature enough here to get his jokes
I just need that "YES SIR" confidence in my life.
Give this man his Netflix special already
His special is coming on Amazon Prime later this year
He’s funny and I can learn something’s at the same time
What did you edit? Lol try again buddy
That was fucking hard to read lol
(edited) He’s funny and I can learn something’s at the SAMEtime..
@@jp81platow you his mother? Lol
precise
“I don’t bake the cake, I do the icing” had me
*The best crowd-controlling comic of our generation, period.*
Oh yea, they're getting a divorce. 🤦♀️
i hope so. poor guy. didnt realise that she is using him for money and financial support. Probably cheats on him too.
Ryan X come on dude. That’s my sister. You’re right she does, but still
I kinda felt that she was cheating but I thought that I was thinking too deep about it. I mean she's sitting talking about how easy it is to make woman cum and not dudes... Idk. Maybe she was just messing around but idk. If you're having problems sexually some people usually do tend to cheat.
@@cloud_monkey422 Really?
"I prefer women" I really hope he divorced her, that bitch is ice cold
that yessir at 6:25 was so proud and confident
Nah that man knew the vibes💯
RashBoogieTV facts😭😭
Shultzy, part comedian, part relationship coach.
This guy is comedy genius ... How is he so low profile? I've watching these clips for weeks and he kills it every time! I need to see him live (but not from the front row!)
Wtf He's not low profile at all. He's the biggest new name in comedy.
@@nomoresunforever3695 my original comment was over 1 year old, his profile was a little different back then. He's still killing it.
Yeah front rows are all for the confident extrovert weirdos
@@Jay_Kay_Redpill how many subs did he have back then ?
@@NotUrDJ I think it was less than 250k, but I honestly don't remember. All I know is that AS has blown up since Joe Rogan mentioned him around lockdown. He certainly lives up to the hype!
“Yes sir!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
When he said Vishnu, I started dying 😂
I have never got offended by Andrew's Indian jokes, he is very well versed with the culture. Always amazing me how he knows all this 😁
Too bad you stopped dying.
@@bhatkrishnakishor Vishnu is the most basic Indian god someone could possibly reference.
@@SmokeymcJoint420 हरे कृष्णा 🙏
@PIYUSH YADAV They do. You've not been watching enough comedy.
Andrew Schulz is the king of crowd work, change my mind.
He fore sure is
@Joseph O'Neill you beat me to it. Seen his crowd work first hand. His references are so incredibly creative and original. He says some crazy shit. Balls of steel that man has. Asked an obese lady if she wanted to get spitroasted by this group of Juggalos that were in the audience. Denver Comedy Works. Real small venue
Change your mind
1.) jimmy carr
2.) drew lynch
3.) steve hofstetter (he's more of a heckler warrior than friendly banter, i'm aware of that, but still, his interactions are good enough to be included)
Patrice oneal....Sinbad...those are the two goats of it to me.
Andrew is a legit SAVAGE and WILD crowd MAGNET
Damn. Andrew's crowd work is leagues ahead of everyone.
Watching this with headphones next to my sleeping girlfriend, so hard not to burst out laughing and wake her
You're under a lock down with your girl. Lucky u ❤️
Slide it right inside brother
Same bro
Puff Sassy technically that’s rape but it’s all free real estate.
Two fingers and your tongue
Wreck it Ralph sounds like He might be gay!! A lesbian with a Gay guy. He can't get off with her but he gets off ALL the time. 😂😂🤣🤣. Get a divorce and be great friends.
Or keep being great friends and stay married. What's all the fuss about?
@@hurtigheinz3790 they Need to work it out. I can see alot of great potential for them if they sit down and talk about it. Be married in an open relationship that they both agree upon. I see no fuss.
@@necro699 I think they sat down a long time ago.
@@hurtigheinz3790 well all we can do is Wish them the best. Hope for a great outcome that they both can be happy with.
Sounds like he just turned the tables to me😏 lol
I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen andrew Shulz do stand up? I think he just heckles the audience, he’s definitely one of a kind.
He’s right about the serial killer thing.
“TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT “
How did you put your name upside down like that?
Treacherous J Slither I imagined her replying saying along the line of one of you sitting on someone face. I’m sorry.
Treacherous J Slither she’s Australian
@@MegaHolyduck So, she's from down under? 😂
That guy who said “yes sir” is a god lol. That was so funny
Appreciate the subtle pink text for the women and blue for the guy. Keeping it real Shultzey
@D G one for each gender
There are only two genders: *PINK* & *BLUE*
@S.A.M it was a dog
That credit card had me in Stitch's
alright vishnew
With the lounge access
Andrew might be the first stand up I go to on my own. I love this dudes humor
Some boomer back there in 90s: Honesty is the best policy.
Andrew taking out his notebook: noted, Sir!
Huge respect for the dude for turning a lesbian (success debatable , nevertheless 👍)
I did the opposite, my ex turned lesbian after we broke up lol
@@aidanswartz358 😬😬😬
@@aidanswartz358 Glad to see you have a sense of humor about it. You'll find someone better dude🙂
@@Umeed806 Lmao thanks dude😂
@@aidanswartz358 are you Ross Geller ?
*Man converts a lesbian*
Me: *"Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?"*
Have you ever heard the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?
@@thechrischong LOL don't even start sir
Maybe just become a women... That oughta do it
I married a lesbian.
#notworthit 😑
she converted for tht money
This mans the juice wrld of comedy just free styling through the whole set
Hands down the best improv comedian ever.
schulz is the man!!!! he inspired me to follow my dreams and do comedy in nyc~ thanks schulz for the inspiration
briankimcomedy do you have videos of your perfomance?
@D G i appreciate you DG - thanks for checking my stuff out! yes we definitely do!
@@Pechenikcoach hey dmitry~ check out my stuff i post in my channel - thx for tuning in
I can appreciate how he can make someone feel like if he can do it, by jolly anyone can.
briankimcomedy good job man,tyron black panda is really funny!keep it up!
These Shultz videos are exactly what my Quarantine needs.
"I don't bake cake, I do icing" - Andrew Schulz
This was flawless! He's on my top 3 list of favorite comedians
My guy got the vishnu reference on point....akaash been teaching u hindu mythology or what
Andrew is only guy who can make jokes having Indian gods in it and nobody will get offended. Rest comedian will get ass kicked.
The only difference he uses references as joke not to offend. Unlike others.
(By the way i am an agnostic, i dont give a fuck anyways 😁)
Ankit tiwari Wrong. It’s because he actually understands the cultures he’s making fun of.
@@ndnrb_ why wrong? Both can be true
@@ndnrb_ no he doesn't. He is the book example of stereotypical jokes.
@@friendlyatheist387 Nobody gets offended , cuz he doesn't target a specific religion and has the basic knowledge (if not in detail) of them
But if he does that joke in India and gets away with it, I'll be surprised
that dude needs a new girl tho fr
Guys are getting soft these days. And women don't need to be accountable. Thats the world we live in.
@@larryhan485 Do you mean soft as in their penises or their emotions?
@@larryhan485 what do you mean?
why you interested?
@@mrsickfck7575 are you replying to my comment, or the original comment, Mr Sick Fuck?
By the way, thats an excellent name.
“YESSIR”got me 😂😂😂😂😂😂
The Beyoncé part had me in tears 😂😂
"YES SIR"
Was supposed to go to Andrew's show this May.... unfortunately that's not happening anymore 😔
Damn that sucks bro
F, hopefully you will after this shit blows over
He's funny af live. Hope you catch a later show
Same I was supposed to see hime April, shit sucks
I was supposed to go watch him for his special taping, it's getting postponed so maybe your show is too.
This man is a genius. The way he engages with people is 10 out of 10.
The Beyonce joke took me out bro. Genius 🤣🤣🤣
Damn 😬 that’s lowkey embarrassing for him lol good thing we can’t see the audience
Edit: highkey embarrassing
Not for him my g
Bro I was at the show.. embarrassed in an understatement!
fckn right, even if its a comedy show, you cant embarrass your HUSBAND like that. The dudes gotta quit and run ASAP.
Oh you don't know Andrew I see 😂
I was there too. That guy no joke looked exactly like wreck it Ralph and even was wearing similar clothes
That Vishnu joke was LEGIT funny 🤣
And so ON-POINT! 🤣
"He's right here, yo." Golden
Andrew still providing content.
Gotta love this dude
Someone give a prize to the girl who said “two fingers and the tongue”. It’s really just that... applied correctly. ✌🏼😛
@Modern Savage25 Listen I'm gonna be honest I didn't understand a single thing from that sentence.
What is the best motion for the 2 fingers? Should you just keep rubbing the g spot?
@M Ralte i hope you joking
yeah 2 fingers and the tongue. that helps a lot. duhh
Wandering Mirecat yeah for 2 hours right ? 😂
I been watching this dudes shit for years and everything he does has me saying “bro chill”
That "YES SIR" took me tf *out* 😭😭😭😂
Hi thanks for keeping this set for quarantine
Andrew is the perfect combination of wit and humor. The savagery seals the package.
Ay thanks for the uploads in these times!
He is one of the most irreverent comedians I've ever heard. Thank God for that. This, and all the other videos, always leaves me in stitches. He's awesome.
Andrew should be a part time lawyer 😤🤘 this man's logic and arguments are off the charts
andrew naming his videos like pornos now
There’s a lot to unpack in that marriage 😂
your crowd work is excellent Andrew
Dude you are on another level! Congrats!
I haven’t laughed like this in a minute that’s too good
6:03 wtf 🤣🤣🤣
@Saksham Tyagi true...comedian's head would be chopped off and for what...a joke
People are getting more sensitive this days,people are becoming snowflakes who cannot tolerate anything and that rips away the creativity from any kind of artist
@Saksham Tyagi people don't even understand what is democracy in this country...someone sees something which they think hurts their sentiments which it doesn't and then they file reports and cases
Its sad people are becoming more and more stupid
@Saksham Tyagi Manipulation and corruption is every...nowhere to hide
Reasons for Andrew's survival
1. They will not understand English
2. They'll not get his accent
3. There's no mention of India in title or thumbnail
This was his last joke if he was in india lol
The Vishnu reference alone shows just how knowledgeable Andrew is.
You sir, are incredible!
I swear i thought I was the only person on earth who thought Beyonce's talking voice was really deep...
Ok that "YES SIR!" fkin killed me omg I rewound that 7 times hahahahahahahaha!
This man was born, to teach us about the World !! Incredible with the details and timing.
I just started my channel your one of the first people I subbed to you killed it man! this was funny!
You’re So close to 1 million you are my favorite comedian just soo hilarious and out of the mind creative! Hope you get to 10 million
“YESSIR”! 🤣 shit had me
I don't make the cake, I do the icing "literally" 😂😂😂 GOAT
Please come back to Montreal
Best vid this channel dropped in awhile 🙏🏼
Andrew is hilarious and the crowd’s reactions just make everything funnier ✊🏾😂
Andrew’s laugh sounds like organising a card deck against the table
I can’t wait when this Covid-19 is over so I can come see you live bc you are hilarious!
On point, this guy.
Schulzy is gradually entering GOAT status if he hasn’t already🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I decided to smoke my bong watching this and I haven't been able to take a single hit cause I can't stop laughing🤣🤣
Awesome comic. Definitely one of my new best discovered. Wow. Ur mind is awesome.
gratz on the 1mil bro
Congrats on the 1m subs in advance! Good dude, great comedian
Right...he's so close...deserves every one
justaname onyourscreen he does big time. Changed the game for all future comedians
Oh man he's on a role in this one, I was cackling all throughout 😂😂
Superb this.. 😂😂
Thank you Andrew. Laughter is a great antidote for depression
The "listen" part is spot on. It's just that the girl has to talk. We'll take direction. Better yet, just look up "How to Eat Pussy Like a Champ", and watch ONLY Nina Hartley's segment. The guys' parts are fine, but Nina is the Jedi Master.
Nobody eats pussy better than Nina Hartley.
Damn why people so scared to laugh at a Beyoncé joke?
Because she could have anyone on the face of the Earth that she wanted to removed.
People love and idolise celebrities.
'cause he went too hard on a seemingly sweet person. Yes her speaking voice is a little deep, but not that deep. Plus, she does not do many interviews, so most only know her singing voice. I know what he was going for, but it was out of left field and wasn't relatable or funny. That's why. IMO
@Harold Jenkins ...and your name is still Harold. Who's really the bitch?
@@billmcdonald2445 Settle down McMuffin