I was a college athlete at an NCAA school in US and sadly my jr. Year I got mono. My coach made me train through my mono. I was in shape enough to keep running but not run well. Went from being a top runner on my team to the worst. Little did I know that running through a virus like mono and dragging myself through school would cause a life long chronic illness, chronic fatigue syndrome. I had a mono test from school that was positive and then my coach took me to a team physician who didn't do a blood test for mono but told me I didn't have mono. My life was never the same and I wish I took the proper time off running instead of sacrificing my health for life.
If you're still having CFS symptoms google The Lightning Process. I went through a similar situation to what you describe but have thankfully recovered. You can get your old life back! Hit me up with any questions.
44 year old guy here who likes to watch videos from runners. I run for health and go for 100 miles a month. Have not come across honest content like this and it was wonderful to hear the behind the scenes stuff. Have a 12 year old daughter who wants to get into running and I will share this with her if she gets to the college point in the future. Very real. Appreciate it.
I'm really glad to hear you are looking out for your daughter and intend to help her avoid these issues! However, please, please don't wait until college to do it. My coaches pulled me up to my high school team at age 12, had me running 60-65 miles a week by age 14, and pushed me to run through injuries and restrict what I ate through all the years I was there. That treatment did end my running career as my body broke down at age 18 and has not recovered in the years since. My story is not unusual, either; I'd say that fully half of the girls at a competitive level in my state were in similar situations in high school. I thought that it was all completely normal and just the price you had to pay to be fast. If someone had spoken to me when I was 12, I might have recognized that it was wrong and been able to get out of there. Please discuss this with your daughter now and continue having discussions about what is and isn't ok for her coaches to ask of her and how dangerous restrictive eating can be. I hope you have a wonderful day!
@@ethevillagecryptid2293 it angers me 2 hear your story,....soooooo many "coaches" who DEFINITELY shuddn't be coaching..... how many livez ruined via physical,psychological & sexual abuse.. your coach obviously hadda similar mentality 2 that alberto salazar skum (& countless otherz)...... i think you are still fairly young now & even tho we've never met i have faith that your body will eventually retuturn to operating on a HEALTHY level..... it won't be easy of course but it can & WILL happen.... hugz 2 you,........
You're a bloody inspiration Phily for sharing this! Got me with this one. So many takeaways for me and hopefully for so many watching. Positivity for me is essential in our very much individual sport. When it comes to pushing yourself to our limits, negativity is never going to lead to success. Sounds like leaving was 100% the right decision and you're so much stronger for it as a result.
Here's what I heard from a friend that ran at Oregon (2013-ish) who was a state champion runner in high school. He was blown away at the volume of the training, he ended up with a stress fracture and the coaching staff (in his opinion) showed no concern whatsoever. He spent a couple months trying to get some input or "coaching" on how to adjust the training and was essentially ignored. One day he decided to just not go to practice for a couple days to try and recover and no one on the coaching staff said a thing or even acknowledged his absence. That's when he realized that they basically didn't care and there was a dozen more guys just as talented as him standing in line gunning for his spot. He ended up literally just quitting with no interaction with the coaching staff and there was never a word, email, call, nothing. The coaching staff basically didn't coach but because of the prestige of the program they are a desired destination by the best athletes all over the world.
Translation: prove to the coaching staff your are worthy of special attention or they’ll treat you like a number. Once you are in their “star runner” orbit, I can assure you, you’ll get special attention. That’s how pro sports work. It’s sad, but it’s a business
@@beckamayfield9912 😂😂😂😂 there are levels to this. Just like NBA/MLB … there are good players and there are star players and there are superstars That’s how it works buddy. It’s pro sports
Had a similar experience with my ncaa coaches. After my second outdoor season I left the team. Was completely broken physically, mentally and spiritually. Ended up hating the sport and didn’t run for 8 years. I’m back to running and enjoying the sport again.
Wow. I'm reviewing these accounts and it makes me feel less alone. I was invited to run for U of O but went to a different college. The stress, pressure, and rigor made me dislike the sport, hate racing, and develop an Ed. I'm getting back into it and enjoying again, but like you, I had to tale a break. I would love to hear more women tell their stories.
I had a somewhat similar NCAA experience. I was division I as well. Before going in I was so excited and a bit naive, but so eager do my best and continue my progression. My father had coached me in HS, and I had done well, but I was ready to take it to the next level. My coach in college was super negative, swearing at us constantly, belittling us in front of our teammates, telling me frequently how overweight I was (now that I am a medical provider I am appalled by this), etc. It took me YEARS to undo all the psychological damage I experienced. Looking back I also see how I could have done things differently (it wasn’t all him), but it’s still so important to have a coach who believes in you and lifts you up instead of breaking you apart. Everyone needs different training, we are all different, our bodies are different. You cannot coach everyone the same. But the one way you can coach everyone the same is by lifting them up and helping them to believe in themselves. That will make them work harder and their bodies will be healthier.
Same here! I ran at a Division 1 school and had a much different experience than what I was expecting. I developed endometrial polyps while at college and would experience painful side cramps and dizzy spells while running, which caused my running to be poorer than what my coaches expected. When I finally told them what was going on, they were very belittling and not supportive at all. I still wanted to run and compete, but not there. I left and it’s been 4 years now and I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, able to compete in ultras and road marathons while sticking with a schedule that works for me!
I am 74 and have the desire to be the best runner that I can be. Your story of how you have fought through the negatives and overcome them is an inspiration to me. Running is more than running, it takes courage, commitment and a belief that whatever life throws at us we will be able to get through it. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Truely inspiring.
Thank you for the honest review of your time in D1 NCAA. I have a daughter in her freshman year running at a University on scholarship and a son who is one year away from running the same. The benefits of scholarship also come with so many additional pressures and challenging moments. This video helps remind me of what some of the challenges are and how I can best support my kiddos through these next few years. Keep being awesome!!!
Good for you! Positivity and love and encouragement the best approach. Kids internalize so much of what they hear. ❤❤your kiddos are fortunate they have a parent who gets it!
I was not a collegiate athlete, but have fallen in love with the sport of running in my 30s, and greatly appreciate your stories and perspective! Keep doing great things!
Bravo, Phily! I’m a psychologist and I approve this message! Positive coaching and mindset and taking care of oneself in a supportive environment is so key. Love what you are bringing to our sport!❤❤💪🏼🌷
Dude your coach was so messed up!!! It's so crazy toxic of her to say that it's all your fault and that you need to starve yourself to be quicker -- it makes sense that that had such a negative impact on you. I'm really glad you got out of there and can be so positive about everything now, it's super heartwarming to see. Thanks for sharing this story, and keep slaying
First of all, thank you so much for sharing your story. I really enjoyed watching this video and listening to your story. It sounds like you absolutely made the right decision in going back home and removing yourself from an environment that was toxic and not healthy for you. Coaches are supposed to support you and lift you up and it is the absolute worst when they make you feel awful about yourself and have you questioning everything. I hope you are doing so much better now! Your mindset and outlook is really inspiring.
Phily I think this video was the first one that introduced me to your channel. I’ve been subscribed since. You are an inspiration. After just watching the Copenhagen and the 10,000 PB’s videos in the past couple weeks I can truly say that you have revealed something very important to us. You have shown us what it looks like to succeed living with joy and passion for doing what you love. It makes us unstoppable! As horrible as I think the coach at Oregon was, literally sucking the life out of running and her team, you survived it. A difficult but valuable lesson in the journey. There’s a small piece of me that hopes that coach watches your channel and can see what potential she wasted maybe ignored is a better word. Living well is the best revenge 🎉🎉🎉
This story about the differences in training, is making me think about a recent episode of the run smarter podcast with Eoin Everard about neuromuscular vs aerobic runners and training to your strength. Hearing the second part makes me upset as a family doctor who looks after a few teenagers with EDs. So great to hear you are in a much happier place now!
I had a very similar story in my track career. A bad coach who tore me down and didn’t care for me ruined my career. I’m proud of you for continuing on. I let it get to me and I quit after my first year of NCAA
Thanks for sharing. As someone whose health was also harmed by bad coaching, I appreciate hearing from others who have been through similar situations.
My hometown is Eugene. I was 13 when Steve Prefontaine died in 1975. I didn't know who he was beforehand, but it hit the town hard, and I still remember the somber feeling. I graduated from the University of Oregon. I'm glad you liked Eugene and made good friends there. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the coach and program. You are courageous to tell your story, and I admire you for it and for the constructive attitude you have taken from it. I hope you come back again and have a better experience. I lived in Mildenhall, England, for a year while in the Air Force. I loved your country. Best wishes to you, and thank you for telling your story.
As an avid watcher of numerous running vlogs, it nice to see one from a different perspective with a personal and emotional point of view. Congratulations on getting through this experience and hope you go from strength to strength
After watching this, im so glad about the relationship and friendship i have with my coach. I can tell him everything and he understands it because he was a pro himself and knows how it feels on the athlet side.
What a moving story. Thank you for sharing it. I wish you'd chosen a different thumbnail, as it implies you failed, where as you were failed by others and then achieved so much despite that. Inspirational stuff as ever 👍
Thank you. It was a hard thumbnail to settle on for sure. Some thought I'd failed at the time, myself included, but of course now I don't see it that way - it was a learning experience!
Thank your for sharing your story, its good for young athletes to hear the other side of an NCAA scholarship. Coming home early was the best thing you did for your health and career. Best of luck for the marathon.
Deciding to leave that environment is such a strong thing to do. I don't know how you got through talking about this without crying your eyes out! I wish you had a better coach during that time, someone who knew how to support you in the ways you needed it. The psychological impact is huge. At the end of the day, so proud of you for prevailing.
Being so humble and honest. Love the fact that you are giving out so much positive energy even throughout such a hard topic and i have to say a big THANK YOU for that! I hope you know how much all this means to us "ordinary people"(non pro runners). You and your videos literally helped me push through some dark moments in my life. Running the half marathon next week and i am giving you all the credits! I am shure i am just one of many that keeps loving the grind BECAUSE OF YOU!
As a former collegiate athlete I found that lots of colleges overtrain athletes. I pr everything after college. Half the coaches are cookie cutter coaches that focus on one goal that works for only one person
Agreed! I had a good college athlete experience but my coach still overtrained me and found out that I had a minor ankle injury my freshman year and then two years later I sprained my ankle really bad. I went to the doctor and the doctor told me that I had an minor ankle injury roughly two years ago. That explains why I was limping at the start of runs till I warmed up
Thank you for posting this, I still haven’t come to grips with my own collegiate career but seeing that not everyone had an ideal experience helps me to understand that I am not alone
As a volunteer coach for a women's program and having dealt with disorder eating and body dysmorphia myself, it truly saddens me to hear what you went through at Oregon. I hope you have a fruitful and healthy career!
Competing for the NCAA in college (swimming) really turned me off from college sports because I saw how messed up the system is. My coach was great, but I hate the NCAA. My roommate and a few friends ran XC and we'd hear stories about how the coach pushed unhealthy eating habits, would punish people for eating "bad' foods, and would badmouth athletes who left to pursue other things. The system will take care of its favorites, but its ultimately about money for the school and NCAA rather than encouraging athletes.
Well done Phily - through adversity. These things are sent to test us, it’s not nice at the time, but you’ve taken the positives and lessons from it, and this will ultimately make you stronger. Super thanks for sharing this part of your story, truly inspiring.
I’m glad you had enough inner strength in midst of everything you were going through to recognize you had to leave. We all start our running journey bc we fall in love with the sport. It’s demoralizing and heart-breaking when elite runners have to sacrifice that love to win. All the best to you, Philly. I’m glad you’ve rediscovered that love. Please continue to share your experience with young athletes.
Your story is very interesting and you tell it very well. It's impressive to see how you endured everything, it couldn't have been easy. Mentally you must have been exhausted. For what it's worth, people you don't know are behind you and enjoy seeing you happy. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, you're doing great!
Thank you so much for sharing. I had a tough college experience coming in on a scholarship. Nowhere near D1s training and expectations, but still that similar pressure. Working off of hip injuries, knee issues, failing classes, unprocessed emotions from high school and my parents divorce, and emotional eating I had to drop out of college after only one semester. Looking back now, 10 years years later I can see that there was no way I would have been able to stay longer than I did. Getting back into it at 28 I'm trying to find the joy that I once had for running. This is probably my 20th attempt getting back in it, but I never gave up and I'm not going to. I live in a great running community in central Oregon. Excited to get out there and meet people, and maybe one day compete again, but for now I'm just enjoying it.
It’s so sad hearing your story. This should have been a really exciting experience for you. Glad you made good friends. That coach…..I have no words. Onwards to a bigger and brighter future Phily! Xxx
Wow. What terrible things the coaches said. You did a great thing prioritizing your own health. It's crazy that a lot of coaches can't see when athletes are really struggling and need help and just make them feel entirely responsible. We can't control our mental issues. Glad you could take control. Thanks Phily!
So weird to me (and by weird I mean AWFUL) that this is a top coach at a top school that not only doesn't listen to their highly ranked athlete, but talks negatively about them to the other athletes!
Phily dear, I can say that I will never attain the level(s) you've achieved with your running, but I am a lifelong runner and I HAVE deallt with eating disorders that deeply affected me in SO very many ways. After 66 marathons run, 13 of them at Boston, and nearly all under 4 hours, I DO enjoy this sport. I don't think I could ever tame my internal nerves and hyperactive mind to have competed in college. LOVE this channel, and still aspire for a 3:30 marathon (3:32 PB). However, at 59 years of age now, I wonder what is possible. SO GLAD to have found this today!!!
That’s why I run for myself, I was the fastest kid to come out of central Kansas. My volume was second to none, my junior year I ended up having the second fastest 5k in Kansas in General. I had lots of trouble losing and taking a loss. I lost all my hair, the pressure really got to me. Sometimes it is better for you and your body to run for yourself and not your coach or anyone else who thinks they know you. I felt heavy and ill myself towards the end of my running career. I never went to college, didn’t like what they were trying to sell me. I’m glad you were strong and got through this. Gives me strength hearing your message
Thank you for sharing your story with such eloquence and honesty. It is so disheartening to hear how coaches who should be uplifting and inspiring athletes tear them down in so many ways. Young athletes and their parents need to not be swayed by all the bells, whistles and fancy packaging of theses universities. It's not worth risking your health. Bravo to you, Phily, for putting your health and happiness as your priority. Best of luck.
Yes for my senior year of high school i was a long distance runner even when i was kept getting injured the coaches made me run more and run more i was so mentally exhausted from running that i end up quitting in not coming to practice which effected my future running in college
Dear phily, I am following your TH-cam channel and career for quite a while now, but wasn’t aware of this Oregon episode. Just wanting to send you a big hug … love the grind, you got qualities way beyond all that. ❤
You are amazing Philly. You have the strength to show a big something that didn't work out for you and prove that it hasn't stopped you. It has propelled you forward, ensuring youdon't make the same mistake again. Keep up the good work, be happy in where life and running takes you.
Phily, I cannot tell you how much I resonate with your story. I ran for an NCAA school as well and had a coach tell me after the best 6k I had ever run that my legs were looking smaller. Having previously struggled with an ED, that comment broke me. It sticks with me to this day. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Finding coaches you are compatible with is key. I don’t think I fully ever felt comfortable on my team. I really struggled with anxiety and depression during college and I felt like more of a burden than anything. But I managed to finish my senior cross country season on a high note. I finished things on my own terms and was thankful for that. Now running is something I look forward to again. I run when I want and how I want. Running is never the problem, it’s all the surrounding circumstances. Happy to hear you are healing.
Amazing Phily! You're such a delight to watch:) Been really falling in love with trail running over the last 6 months or so and your videos always give me a spark of inspiration! Much love to you😇
I do not know if this is comparable, not at the same level at all. I was a goalkeeper for plenty of years (15), but during my last two years of playing there were several instances where my coaches and my captain suggested that I was not putting enough effort or "sacrifice". This made me lost my confidence in my abilities as a goalkeeper and I literally could not play again as good as I used to, even while training 2x harder. I was in the locker room, my teammates were ok and i was puking from nerves during almost two seasons every Saturday. I finally left that sport, and to this day even in unofficial matches with friends I get extremely nervous in my stomach. I think people do not understand sometimes how important confidence is, I am really happy that you could recover your love from the sport, which to this day I have not been able to (now I play basketball).
I totally get what you’re saying, and everyone reacts differently to this kind of thing. I wonder if it’s actually a well-meant coaching tactic that’s gone wrong, perhaps they (in both our cases) thought that this kind of language would have a positive impact but it did the opposite? Hard to say but I’m sorry to hear you had such a tough time with it, it’s sucks when it takes away some of your enjoyment for the sport 😞
@@PhilyBowden I would say its a well meant coaching strategy gone wrong, I was a boxer for a long time and for some reason really was better suited to a coach that nitpicked every single detail and told me everywhere I was going wrong, as I had a tendency to switch off when left to my own devices. My coach was brilliant though and for other athletes he had vastly different approaches, because what I’ve realised now as a coach myself, what worked for me isn’t the best for everyone. And it’s a coaches role to know what works for who, even in high performance set-ups.
@@PhilyBowden I think they for sure thought it was the right approach. I just think that some people do need different encouraging for different positions in football, which is often overlooked. I look goalkeeping as an "individual sport" on its own, just you against everything. Individual sports are prone to becoming toxic, only you are guilty right?. I guess we need to stop thinking that their abilities are perfect and they should know better, specially while dealing with teens or early adults. Thank you for this video, it made me reflect a lot on it. Maybe I will wear my goalkeeping gloves again. 100% you are helping me with my running journey (first 10k in December 2022). Lots of love from Spain!
I crashed and burned in D2 running, I get the feeling of failure so much. I thought the team was really close, but the dynamics changed a lot when I went. Coach fostered so much negativity and drama, gossiped about runners he thought weren't 'trying hard enough.' I was really lucky to quit that team without an eating disorder since he often told me I wasn't being picked for races because of my eating habits, while my teammates were eating for dietary issues or had EDs. Already coupled with the pressure and anxiety I had coming out of high school XC and track, my team wrecked me mentally. Now, here I am, watching your videos and using them as inspiration that I can still be a runner for myself. Just started getting back out and running again.
Thank you for sharing your story. It took a lot of courage for you to prioritize your health and wellbeing and get yourself out of that toxic environment. Thankfully your love of running survived that ordeal and now your career is back on track and headed in a positive direction. Keep grinding!
This video is super helpful to see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for a rough season, I’ve been struggling with my relationship with my coaches, but knowing that it can get better is so so helpful
Phily, as a Duck fan, I'm truly sorry for what callousness and tribalism you experienced, I realize that I, and all of my fellow sports fans play a role in the objectivity you had to deal with. I'm encouraged by your bravery. I hope you never come to hate the Ducks. I hope we rise to be a better facility for character building and emotional safety. I'm sure that I've barely scratched the surface of the needs that athletes can have affected by a more caring fan base... Be well and please; come to love running again.
So glad you have emerged from that darkness to become an elite runner. Thanks for sharing your story. You are very honest and brave. It shows all of us that no matter what challenges you face in your life, you can emerge back into the light with determination and the love and support from those who mean the most.
Really appreciate you telling your story! I can't imagine the amount of guts and bravery it took to share this with everyone! You are a beautiful person inside and out! Love your channel more for this!
Thank you for sharing this! I had a very different and positive NCAA experience at Furman, finishing my career among the top D1 middle-distance athletes. My house of cards came tumbling down just a few months after signing with a professional team, and I haven't raced since the US Olympic Trials '21 due to three consecutive injuries and innumerable breakdowns. My contract would have expired at the end of this year, but I opted to leave in March without ever having raced as a professional. I've been working with my college coach again remotely the past month, and I'm slowly learning to love the sport again. Stories like yours definitely give me hope.
Refreshing to see this transparency. What people see as winners in the NCAA are only the tip of the iceberg with respect to talent, work, and minimizing injuries or illnesses. So much talent is lost to injuries and illnesses, and it takes at least a whole year to get back to where one was before getting injured or ill, and it's a tough, tough mental climb. I am envious of those who at least had a program, resources, and somewhat of a coach. I had none of those, and I've always wondered what my PBs would've been had I had competent coaching, nutrition, hydration, etc.
😢what a jerk this coach not knowing mental health is key for better performances and for not taking care of her athletes. Good for you for prioritizing your well being and moving back.
Thank you for this video and the impactful story that you have shared. I'm grateful that your love for running returned after overcoming this difficult challenge in your life. I'm sending hugs and fist bumps across the pond to you and your family; I know I can't fully relate to all the sacrifices that you and your loved ones made during your US collegiate career, but thank you for being an example of strength, hope, and tenacity. Well done!!! And hope you can hear all of us, the subscriber mob, cheering you on during your workouts! Peace to you and all the best!! ❤👊👍
So honest, so strong, such a mess to push young women into eating disorder to reach a (team) target - such a sick system, you can be very proud of you, Phily, for your honesty and your strength to leave all this behind - and to stay such a authentic person, congrats!
Thank you for sharing your story so clearly and honestly. I'm so glad you took from the experience the things that have made you who you are and have made you better. You've healed, become stronger and more whole. I can't say I'm not a bit angry at parts of this story because suffice to say, you were not set up to succeed and people who should have been kinder and cared for you as a person failed to do that simple and vitally important thing. They should have done better. I'm happy that you have come through this and you have people who care for and love you. Go Phily!
Thank you for being so honest and authentic. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, or you need bad moments to appreciate the good - but agree that you can learn something from every experience. Lessons can always be learnt. But in my opinion, bad things don’t have to happen. Bad experiences aren’t a necessity.
Only just found your channel this week. New to running here (well at least consistently lol) and have had my own issues with food/body image in the past. This now influences the way in which I coach (Personal trainer) others as its about the long game and improving relationship with body image and mind...Anyways, a long way of saying I really appreciate the honesty in this video. I think it's something that needs to change as so many stories come out of how athletes end up struggling with an E.D which blows my mind as that will ALWAYS effect performance and you would think coaches would want to protect against that.... Anyway, loving your channel, your message and general vibe.
You're so strong Phily and I'm so glad you were able to bounce back from such a negative experience being failed by others and re-find your love for the sport.
Every run that you smash, every pb that you have achieved, in the face to that souless human. Well done for smashing out running and not giving in champ.
I chose a lesser known D1 school with a coach who was from my country and explained the process of eligibility. There was never any body shaming and mental health was most important.
Thank you for sharing your story. The biggest positive I think you can take is that you recognised that the environment you were in was not right and that it needed to change. That must have been really difficult, and you should be proud that you made the right decision for you. Keep moving forward, and keep doing what you are doing. 😀👍
You are very brave to share such a story and inspire others who struggle with an ED. It’s never a straight path of recovery and each step you take forwards helps you build mentally and be stronger! It’s great that you appear to be using running to stay mentally strong and motivate you and others! ❤
Wauw, Phily...! Quite a story and struggle. Its important you tell about this to everyone, so thanks for doing it. I'm a coach and have a very different approach to coaching. Trust, honesty and positivity is key towards the people I train. I have almost 40 years of experience and 20 of those with elite. If I meet you in Copenhagen, you'll get a hug and a cheer 🙂
NCAA div 1 athlete. I can totally get the training not being individualized. I was American Football player and we lift weights obviously starting in HS. When I arrived at university I was the strongest I would ever be and the training program was archaic. I made very little progress it was like the opposite of my training prior. I was one of the strongest players on the team arguably the strongest but couldn't make progress. High volume training with not enough of recovery between sessions. After finishing that program I returned to my old training and immediately big gains.
Thanks for sharing. I think as you look back you will see it as an experience that motivates you more. Prove people wrong. If it helps you in achieving your dreams then it was all worth the hardship.
Totally. And I’ve even moved past the “prove people wrong” phase.. I just don’t care what they think so feel I have nothing to prove. I just chose to focus on me and gravitate towards that positivity 😊
Thank you for telling your story. It is sadly not an uncommon one; the systems we have in place are failing athletes, especially female athletes, at high rates at every level. Silence allows these coaches to continue their abusive practices. Speaking out about it is such a difficult thing, especially when you are constantly made to feel like you are ungrateful and at fault if you got anything less than a positive experience out of it. But speaking out about this together is the only way to change things. I'm really happy you got out of there and are doing better now.
I’m a sophomore going into my second season ever of cross country. I used to play basketball but it got harder throughout 7th grade and I became depressed. When looking back at that it felt like a gravel of failure. I mentally felt dead to the world. I cried behind closed doors until it hit a breaking point. I remember it clear as day. It was 7th grade February in the morning I was upset and I went to a rage of sadness saying “iwtd”. Then I was picked up and me and mom talked about my problems and we cried. It got better through 8th grade. Then when 9th grade came around I thought I was going to hate running. Then I ran my first meet and never felt so alive. I’m so much more happier now than I’ve ever been . Good luck to your future endeavors
Wow Phily! Thank you for sharing this. It's encouraging to hear someone's testimonial of persevering through pain and challenges, both internal and external. Keep up the hard work!
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Your honesty and self reflection are inspirational. Also like it better when you're not goofing around because there's so much depth to you. Thanks again.
Thank you for sharing you story Phily! I’m glad you can talk about all of it so other people can maybe recognize themselves! Truly inspiring to see you so well after all!
Thank you for your openness and honesty. I'm very impressed that you can reflect on your experience so calmly and dispassionately and take positives from a challenging time. Having the RIGHT people around you is so important. Best wishes for the future.
This is such a tremendous story and insight into the world of what a professional persons looks like. When you break it down it’s tough but you experience it and made tough decisions and came back. Such a difficult situation and trust that change is good.
Thanks for sharing! I am glad you got yourself out of that situation. you're such a sunny person and it sounds like they were (maybe inadvertently, but still) trying to put out your light. Not ok!
Thank you for sharing your story. It made me cry. For your coaches to tell you that you were too happy to be there is just bizarre. What I take away from this story is how you really did advocate for yourself quite well but unfortunately you were dealing with a system that seems to put winning over a sense of humanity. I'm glad you went home to heal. That was so wise!
There's a lot to be said for good mileage, and not overdoing the anaerobic, high lactate workouts. My plan this year is just to stay injury free, and it is working, I have had eight months of steady training (steady in not increasing mileage or intensity dramatically at any point) and I had my best ever age grade result at parkrun, and I am faster than I have been for nearly five years. Looking back at the stats mileage always correlated with better performance, that used to lead to me trying to run too high a mileage. I think around 70-80 km per week is about right for my 61 year old body. You are inspiring person, for all of us, runners and non runners alike, and a great role model for young women and girls. I will continue to recommend your content to all.
Phily, it's so very important that you share your NCAA story as many perspective NCAA athletes can learn from it, so thank you for that. While the specifics of your story are unique to you and your experience, the general tale of a mismatch between an athlete and a program is absolutely a regular occurrence, especially at the Division I level. As you said, if you get a change to run for Oregon, you take it, but it can't possibly be the right fit for everyone that is offered. It's unfortunate that some coaches prioritize acquiring an athlete's services over ensuring a proper fit for both the athlete and the program. Sad to hear of what you went through, but happy to know that you recovered and that, like you do with many of your experiences, you can sort out what can be learned from it. Best to you as always.
Phily, thank you so much for this video!! I remember in one of your very early videos (a windy Q&A perhaps?) you mentioned some negativity about the NCAA process, and I've always wondered since what happened. Your honesty and openness is very refreshing - you must be so proud of how far your running has come since those days!
I was a college athlete at an NCAA school in US and sadly my jr. Year I got mono. My coach made me train through my mono. I was in shape enough to keep running but not run well. Went from being a top runner on my team to the worst. Little did I know that running through a virus like mono and dragging myself through school would cause a life long chronic illness, chronic fatigue syndrome.
I had a mono test from school that was positive and then my coach took me to a team physician who didn't do a blood test for mono but told me I didn't have mono.
My life was never the same and I wish I took the proper time off running instead of sacrificing my health for life.
If you're still having CFS symptoms google The Lightning Process. I went through a similar situation to what you describe but have thankfully recovered. You can get your old life back! Hit me up with any questions.
44 year old guy here who likes to watch videos from runners. I run for health and go for 100 miles a month. Have not come across honest content like this and it was wonderful to hear the behind the scenes stuff. Have a 12 year old daughter who wants to get into running and I will share this with her if she gets to the college point in the future. Very real. Appreciate it.
I'm really glad to hear you are looking out for your daughter and intend to help her avoid these issues! However, please, please don't wait until college to do it. My coaches pulled me up to my high school team at age 12, had me running 60-65 miles a week by age 14, and pushed me to run through injuries and restrict what I ate through all the years I was there. That treatment did end my running career as my body broke down at age 18 and has not recovered in the years since. My story is not unusual, either; I'd say that fully half of the girls at a competitive level in my state were in similar situations in high school. I thought that it was all completely normal and just the price you had to pay to be fast. If someone had spoken to me when I was 12, I might have recognized that it was wrong and been able to get out of there. Please discuss this with your daughter now and continue having discussions about what is and isn't ok for her coaches to ask of her and how dangerous restrictive eating can be. I hope you have a wonderful day!
@@ethevillagecryptid2293 it angers me 2 hear your story,....soooooo many "coaches" who DEFINITELY shuddn't be coaching..... how many livez ruined via physical,psychological & sexual abuse.. your coach obviously hadda similar mentality 2 that alberto salazar skum (& countless otherz)...... i think you are still fairly young now & even tho we've never met i have faith that your body will eventually retuturn to operating on a HEALTHY level..... it won't be easy of course but it can & WILL happen.... hugz 2 you,........
Thank you, that really means a lot. I hope your daughter has only positive and constructive energy from her peers and coaches in running!
You're a bloody inspiration Phily for sharing this! Got me with this one. So many takeaways for me and hopefully for so many watching. Positivity for me is essential in our very much individual sport. When it comes to pushing yourself to our limits, negativity is never going to lead to success. Sounds like leaving was 100% the right decision and you're so much stronger for it as a result.
I’m happy to see Oregon has a new coaching staff.
It sounds like such a dream to be coached by Shalane Flanagan
Here's what I heard from a friend that ran at Oregon (2013-ish) who was a state champion runner in high school.
He was blown away at the volume of the training, he ended up with a stress fracture and the coaching staff (in his opinion) showed no concern whatsoever. He spent a couple months trying to get some input or "coaching" on how to adjust the training and was essentially ignored. One day he decided to just not go to practice for a couple days to try and recover and no one on the coaching staff said a thing or even acknowledged his absence. That's when he realized that they basically didn't care and there was a dozen more guys just as talented as him standing in line gunning for his spot. He ended up literally just quitting with no interaction with the coaching staff and there was never a word, email, call, nothing. The coaching staff basically didn't coach but because of the prestige of the program they are a desired destination by the best athletes all over the world.
Translation: prove to the coaching staff your are worthy of special attention or they’ll treat you like a number.
Once you are in their “star runner” orbit, I can assure you, you’ll get special attention.
That’s how pro sports work. It’s sad, but it’s a business
@@RunForPeace-hk1cu You should read some of the other comments on this board. Sounds like the experience posted above is not uncommon.
@@RunForPeace-hk1cu They're all star runners. It's OREGON.
@@beckamayfield9912 😂😂😂😂 there are levels to this.
Just like NBA/MLB … there are good players and there are star players and there are superstars
That’s how it works buddy.
It’s pro sports
@RunForPeace-hk1cu It's literally not pro sports. It's college. Log off and read a book.
Had a similar experience with my ncaa coaches. After my second outdoor season I left the team. Was completely broken physically, mentally and spiritually. Ended up hating the sport and didn’t run for 8 years. I’m back to running and enjoying the sport again.
Wow. I'm reviewing these accounts and it makes me feel less alone. I was invited to run for U of O but went to a different college.
The stress, pressure, and rigor made me dislike the sport, hate racing, and develop an Ed.
I'm getting back into it and enjoying again, but like you, I had to tale a break. I would love to hear more women tell their stories.
Thank you for telling this story.
Being in a place where you like yourself is like seeing sunshine after months of rain.
Beautifully said.
I had a somewhat similar NCAA experience. I was division I as well. Before going in I was so excited and a bit naive, but so eager do my best and continue my progression. My father had coached me in HS, and I had done well, but I was ready to take it to the next level. My coach in college was super negative, swearing at us constantly, belittling us in front of our teammates, telling me frequently how overweight I was (now that I am a medical provider I am appalled by this), etc. It took me YEARS to undo all the psychological damage I experienced. Looking back I also see how I could have done things differently (it wasn’t all him), but it’s still so important to have a coach who believes in you and lifts you up instead of breaking you apart. Everyone needs different training, we are all different, our bodies are different. You cannot coach everyone the same. But the one way you can coach everyone the same is by lifting them up and helping them to believe in themselves. That will make them work harder and their bodies will be healthier.
Same here! I ran at a Division 1 school and had a much different experience than what I was expecting. I developed endometrial polyps while at college and would experience painful side cramps and dizzy spells while running, which caused my running to be poorer than what my coaches expected. When I finally told them what was going on, they were very belittling and not supportive at all. I still wanted to run and compete, but not there. I left and it’s been 4 years now and I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, able to compete in ultras and road marathons while sticking with a schedule that works for me!
=[[
I am 74 and have the desire to be the best runner that I can be. Your story of how you have fought through the negatives and overcome them is an inspiration to me. Running is more than running, it takes courage, commitment and a belief that whatever life throws at us we will be able to get through it. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Truely inspiring.
Thank you for the honest review of your time in D1 NCAA. I have a daughter in her freshman year running at a University on scholarship and a son who is one year away from running the same. The benefits of scholarship also come with so many additional pressures and challenging moments. This video helps remind me of what some of the challenges are and how I can best support my kiddos through these next few years. Keep being awesome!!!
Good for you! Positivity and love and encouragement the best approach. Kids internalize so much of what they hear. ❤❤your kiddos are fortunate they have a parent who gets it!
I was not a collegiate athlete, but have fallen in love with the sport of running in my 30s, and greatly appreciate your stories and perspective! Keep doing great things!
Bravo, Phily! I’m a psychologist and I approve this message! Positive coaching and mindset and taking care of oneself in a supportive environment is so key. Love what you are bringing to our sport!❤❤💪🏼🌷
Dude your coach was so messed up!!! It's so crazy toxic of her to say that it's all your fault and that you need to starve yourself to be quicker -- it makes sense that that had such a negative impact on you. I'm really glad you got out of there and can be so positive about everything now, it's super heartwarming to see. Thanks for sharing this story, and keep slaying
First of all, thank you so much for sharing your story. I really enjoyed watching this video and listening to your story. It sounds like you absolutely made the right decision in going back home and removing yourself from an environment that was toxic and not healthy for you. Coaches are supposed to support you and lift you up and it is the absolute worst when they make you feel awful about yourself and have you questioning everything. I hope you are doing so much better now! Your mindset and outlook is really inspiring.
Phily I think this video was the first one that introduced me to your channel. I’ve been subscribed since. You are an inspiration.
After just watching the Copenhagen and the 10,000 PB’s videos in the past couple weeks I can truly say that you have revealed something very important to us. You have shown us what it looks like to succeed living with joy and passion for doing what you love. It makes us unstoppable! As horrible as I think the coach at Oregon was, literally sucking the life out of running and her team, you survived it. A difficult but valuable lesson in the journey. There’s a small piece of me that hopes that coach watches your channel and can see what potential she wasted maybe ignored is a better word.
Living well is the best revenge 🎉🎉🎉
This story about the differences in training, is making me think about a recent episode of the run smarter podcast with Eoin Everard about neuromuscular vs aerobic runners and training to your strength.
Hearing the second part makes me upset as a family doctor who looks after a few teenagers with EDs.
So great to hear you are in a much happier place now!
I had a very similar story in my track career. A bad coach who tore me down and didn’t care for me ruined my career. I’m proud of you for continuing on. I let it get to me and I quit after my first year of NCAA
Thanks for sharing. As someone whose health was also harmed by bad coaching, I appreciate hearing from others who have been through similar situations.
Not a failure Phily. Takes balls to come back and not let the experience define you
My hometown is Eugene. I was 13 when Steve Prefontaine died in 1975. I didn't know who he was beforehand, but it hit the town hard, and I still remember the somber feeling. I graduated from the University of Oregon. I'm glad you liked Eugene and made good friends there. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the coach and program. You are courageous to tell your story, and I admire you for it and for the constructive attitude you have taken from it. I hope you come back again and have a better experience. I lived in Mildenhall, England, for a year while in the Air Force. I loved your country. Best wishes to you, and thank you for telling your story.
As an avid watcher of numerous running vlogs, it nice to see one from a different perspective with a personal and emotional point of view.
Congratulations on getting through this experience and hope you go from strength to strength
After watching this, im so glad about the relationship and friendship i have with my coach. I can tell him everything and he understands it because he was a pro himself and knows how it feels on the athlet side.
whos ur coach
@@gorillababy1235 Jürgen Kerl
What a moving story. Thank you for sharing it. I wish you'd chosen a different thumbnail, as it implies you failed, where as you were failed by others and then achieved so much despite that. Inspirational stuff as ever 👍
It’s kinda clickbaity because you wouldn’t really expect it
Thank you. It was a hard thumbnail to settle on for sure. Some thought I'd failed at the time, myself included, but of course now I don't see it that way - it was a learning experience!
Thank your for sharing your story, its good for young athletes to hear the other side of an NCAA scholarship. Coming home early was the best thing you did for your health and career. Best of luck for the marathon.
GIRL. Started running in the NCAA 2018 fall season, and I resonate with your story / timeline so hard.
Deciding to leave that environment is such a strong thing to do. I don't know how you got through talking about this without crying your eyes out! I wish you had a better coach during that time, someone who knew how to support you in the ways you needed it. The psychological impact is huge. At the end of the day, so proud of you for prevailing.
Being so humble and honest. Love the fact that you are giving out so much positive energy even throughout such a hard topic and i have to say a big THANK YOU for that! I hope you know how much all this means to us "ordinary people"(non pro runners). You and your videos literally helped me push through some dark moments in my life. Running the half marathon next week and i am giving you all the credits! I am shure i am just one of many that keeps loving the grind BECAUSE OF YOU!
As a former collegiate athlete I found that lots of colleges overtrain athletes. I pr everything after college. Half the coaches are cookie cutter coaches that focus on one goal that works for only one person
Jack Daniels would almost certainly agree with you.
@@brianonuanain7535 Jack Daniel’s is the goat!
Agreed! I had a good college athlete experience but my coach still overtrained me and found out that I had a minor ankle injury my freshman year and then two years later I sprained my ankle really bad. I went to the doctor and the doctor told me that I had an minor ankle injury roughly two years ago. That explains why I was limping at the start of runs till I warmed up
Thank you for posting this, I still haven’t come to grips with my own collegiate career but seeing that not everyone had an ideal experience helps me to understand that I am not alone
As a volunteer coach for a women's program and having dealt with disorder eating and body dysmorphia myself, it truly saddens me to hear what you went through at Oregon. I hope you have a fruitful and healthy career!
Competing for the NCAA in college (swimming) really turned me off from college sports because I saw how messed up the system is. My coach was great, but I hate the NCAA. My roommate and a few friends ran XC and we'd hear stories about how the coach pushed unhealthy eating habits, would punish people for eating "bad' foods, and would badmouth athletes who left to pursue other things. The system will take care of its favorites, but its ultimately about money for the school and NCAA rather than encouraging athletes.
Well done Phily - through adversity. These things are sent to test us, it’s not nice at the time, but you’ve taken the positives and lessons from it, and this will ultimately make you stronger. Super thanks for sharing this part of your story, truly inspiring.
I never stop being proud of you Phily. The best comeback story ❤
Amen Melissa you put it into the correct words.
I’m glad you had enough inner strength in midst of everything you were going through to recognize you had to leave. We all start our running journey bc we fall in love with the sport. It’s demoralizing and heart-breaking when elite runners have to sacrifice that love to win. All the best to you, Philly. I’m glad you’ve rediscovered that love. Please continue to share your experience with young athletes.
Your story is very interesting and you tell it very well. It's impressive to see how you endured everything, it couldn't have been easy. Mentally you must have been exhausted. For what it's worth, people you don't know are behind you and enjoy seeing you happy. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, you're doing great!
Thank you so much for sharing. I had a tough college experience coming in on a scholarship. Nowhere near D1s training and expectations, but still that similar pressure. Working off of hip injuries, knee issues, failing classes, unprocessed emotions from high school and my parents divorce, and emotional eating I had to drop out of college after only one semester. Looking back now, 10 years years later I can see that there was no way I would have been able to stay longer than I did. Getting back into it at 28 I'm trying to find the joy that I once had for running. This is probably my 20th attempt getting back in it, but I never gave up and I'm not going to. I live in a great running community in central Oregon. Excited to get out there and meet people, and maybe one day compete again, but for now I'm just enjoying it.
In a lot of studies, volume strongly correlates with endurance performance.
It’s so sad hearing your story. This should have been a really exciting experience for you. Glad you made good friends. That coach…..I have no words. Onwards to a bigger and brighter future Phily! Xxx
Wow. What terrible things the coaches said. You did a great thing prioritizing your own health. It's crazy that a lot of coaches can't see when athletes are really struggling and need help and just make them feel entirely responsible. We can't control our mental issues. Glad you could take control. Thanks Phily!
So weird to me (and by weird I mean AWFUL) that this is a top coach at a top school that not only doesn't listen to their highly ranked athlete, but talks negatively about them to the other athletes!
Phily dear, I can say that I will never attain the level(s) you've achieved with your running, but I am a lifelong runner and I HAVE deallt with eating disorders that deeply affected me in SO very many ways. After 66 marathons run, 13 of them at Boston, and nearly all under 4 hours, I DO enjoy this sport. I don't think I could ever tame my internal nerves and hyperactive mind to have competed in college. LOVE this channel, and still aspire for a 3:30 marathon (3:32 PB). However, at 59 years of age now, I wonder what is possible. SO GLAD to have found this today!!!
That’s why I run for myself, I was the fastest kid to come out of central Kansas. My volume was second to none, my junior year I ended up having the second fastest 5k in Kansas in General. I had lots of trouble losing and taking a loss. I lost all my hair, the pressure really got to me. Sometimes it is better for you and your body to run for yourself and not your coach or anyone else who thinks they know you. I felt heavy and ill myself towards the end of my running career. I never went to college, didn’t like what they were trying to sell me. I’m glad you were strong and got through this. Gives me strength hearing your message
Thank you for sharing your story with such eloquence and honesty. It is so disheartening to hear how coaches who should be uplifting and inspiring athletes tear them down in so many ways. Young athletes and their parents need to not be swayed by all the bells, whistles and fancy packaging of theses universities. It's not worth risking your health. Bravo to you, Phily, for putting your health and happiness as your priority. Best of luck.
Yes for my senior year of high school i was a long distance runner even when i was kept getting injured the coaches made me run more and run more i was so mentally exhausted from running that i end up quitting in not coming to practice which effected my future running in college
This was so insightful and honest - glad I watched it and glad you’re in such a good space.
Dear phily, I am following your TH-cam channel and career for quite a while now, but wasn’t aware of this Oregon episode. Just wanting to send you a big hug … love the grind, you got qualities way beyond all that. ❤
You are amazing Philly. You have the strength to show a big something that didn't work out for you and prove that it hasn't stopped you. It has propelled you forward, ensuring youdon't make the same mistake again. Keep up the good work, be happy in where life and running takes you.
I’m a disabled veteran and run for my mental mood. Thanks for this video and I’m excited to continue to watch ur journey
Phily, I cannot tell you how much I resonate with your story. I ran for an NCAA school as well and had a coach tell me after the best 6k I had ever run that my legs were looking smaller. Having previously struggled with an ED, that comment broke me. It sticks with me to this day. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Finding coaches you are compatible with is key. I don’t think I fully ever felt comfortable on my team. I really struggled with anxiety and depression during college and I felt like more of a burden than anything. But I managed to finish my senior cross country season on a high note. I finished things on my own terms and was thankful for that. Now running is something I look forward to again. I run when I want and how I want. Running is never the problem, it’s all the surrounding circumstances. Happy to hear you are healing.
Amazing Phily! You're such a delight to watch:) Been really falling in love with trail running over the last 6 months or so and your videos always give me a spark of inspiration! Much love to you😇
I do not know if this is comparable, not at the same level at all. I was a goalkeeper for plenty of years (15), but during my last two years of playing there were several instances where my coaches and my captain suggested that I was not putting enough effort or "sacrifice". This made me lost my confidence in my abilities as a goalkeeper and I literally could not play again as good as I used to, even while training 2x harder. I was in the locker room, my teammates were ok and i was puking from nerves during almost two seasons every Saturday. I finally left that sport, and to this day even in unofficial matches with friends I get extremely nervous in my stomach. I think people do not understand sometimes how important confidence is, I am really happy that you could recover your love from the sport, which to this day I have not been able to (now I play basketball).
I totally get what you’re saying, and everyone reacts differently to this kind of thing. I wonder if it’s actually a well-meant coaching tactic that’s gone wrong, perhaps they (in both our cases) thought that this kind of language would have a positive impact but it did the opposite? Hard to say but I’m sorry to hear you had such a tough time with it, it’s sucks when it takes away some of your enjoyment for the sport 😞
@@PhilyBowden I would say its a well meant coaching strategy gone wrong, I was a boxer for a long time and for some reason really was better suited to a coach that nitpicked every single detail and told me everywhere I was going wrong, as I had a tendency to switch off when left to my own devices.
My coach was brilliant though and for other athletes he had vastly different approaches, because what I’ve realised now as a coach myself, what worked for me isn’t the best for everyone. And it’s a coaches role to know what works for who, even in high performance set-ups.
@@PhilyBowden I think they for sure thought it was the right approach. I just think that some people do need different encouraging for different positions in football, which is often overlooked. I look goalkeeping as an "individual sport" on its own, just you against everything. Individual sports are prone to becoming toxic, only you are guilty right?. I guess we need to stop thinking that their abilities are perfect and they should know better, specially while dealing with teens or early adults. Thank you for this video, it made me reflect a lot on it. Maybe I will wear my goalkeeping gloves again. 100% you are helping me with my running journey (first 10k in December 2022). Lots of love from Spain!
I crashed and burned in D2 running, I get the feeling of failure so much. I thought the team was really close, but the dynamics changed a lot when I went. Coach fostered so much negativity and drama, gossiped about runners he thought weren't 'trying hard enough.' I was really lucky to quit that team without an eating disorder since he often told me I wasn't being picked for races because of my eating habits, while my teammates were eating for dietary issues or had EDs. Already coupled with the pressure and anxiety I had coming out of high school XC and track, my team wrecked me mentally. Now, here I am, watching your videos and using them as inspiration that I can still be a runner for myself. Just started getting back out and running again.
Thank you for sharing your story. It took a lot of courage for you to prioritize your health and wellbeing and get yourself out of that toxic environment. Thankfully your love of running survived that ordeal and now your career is back on track and headed in a positive direction. Keep grinding!
This video is super helpful to see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for a rough season, I’ve been struggling with my relationship with my coaches, but knowing that it can get better is so so helpful
Thanks for some more great content Philly. That coach!! Just too mean! You seem to be in a great place now and doing well - great stuff. RESPECT!
So many bad stories from across the pond, hope my daughter never wants to go. Thanks for sharing this important story!
Phily, as a Duck fan, I'm truly sorry for what callousness and tribalism you experienced, I realize that I, and all of my fellow sports fans play a role in the objectivity you had to deal with. I'm encouraged by your bravery. I hope you never come to hate the Ducks. I hope we rise to be a better facility for character building and emotional safety.
I'm sure that I've barely scratched the surface of the needs that athletes can have affected by a more caring fan base...
Be well and please; come to love running again.
So glad you have emerged from that darkness to become an elite runner. Thanks for sharing your story. You are very honest and brave. It shows all of us that no matter what challenges you face in your life, you can emerge back into the light with determination and the love and support from those who mean the most.
This is why I love watching your videos , the honesty from a top athlete.
Really appreciate you telling your story! I can't imagine the amount of guts and bravery it took to share this with everyone! You are a beautiful person inside and out! Love your channel more for this!
Thank you for sharing this! I had a very different and positive NCAA experience at Furman, finishing my career among the top D1 middle-distance athletes. My house of cards came tumbling down just a few months after signing with a professional team, and I haven't raced since the US Olympic Trials '21 due to three consecutive injuries and innumerable breakdowns. My contract would have expired at the end of this year, but I opted to leave in March without ever having raced as a professional. I've been working with my college coach again remotely the past month, and I'm slowly learning to love the sport again. Stories like yours definitely give me hope.
Love You Philly!! Your testimony was not in vain you will be a great coach and mentor one day for young runners
Refreshing to see this transparency. What people see as winners in the NCAA are only the tip of the iceberg with respect to talent, work, and minimizing injuries or illnesses. So much talent is lost to injuries and illnesses, and it takes at least a whole year to get back to where one was before getting injured or ill, and it's a tough, tough mental climb. I am envious of those who at least had a program, resources, and somewhat of a coach. I had none of those, and I've always wondered what my PBs would've been had I had competent coaching, nutrition, hydration, etc.
😢what a jerk this coach not knowing mental health is key for better performances and for not taking care of her athletes. Good for you for prioritizing your well being and moving back.
Thank you for this video and the impactful story that you have shared. I'm grateful that your love for running returned after overcoming this difficult challenge in your life. I'm sending hugs and fist bumps across the pond to you and your family; I know I can't fully relate to all the sacrifices that you and your loved ones made during your US collegiate career, but thank you for being an example of strength, hope, and tenacity. Well done!!! And hope you can hear all of us, the subscriber mob, cheering you on during your workouts! Peace to you and all the best!! ❤👊👍
Thank you for sharing your story. And talking about something that isn’t talked about enough. Keep on being awesome!!
So honest, so strong, such a mess to push young women into eating disorder to reach a (team) target - such a sick system, you can be very proud of you, Phily, for your honesty and your strength to leave all this behind - and to stay such a authentic person, congrats!
Thank you for sharing your story so clearly and honestly. I'm so glad you took from the experience the things that have made you who you are and have made you better. You've healed, become stronger and more whole. I can't say I'm not a bit angry at parts of this story because suffice to say, you were not set up to succeed and people who should have been kinder and cared for you as a person failed to do that simple and vitally important thing. They should have done better. I'm happy that you have come through this and you have people who care for and love you. Go Phily!
Thank you for being so honest and authentic. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, or you need bad moments to appreciate the good - but agree that you can learn something from every experience. Lessons can always be learnt. But in my opinion, bad things don’t have to happen. Bad experiences aren’t a necessity.
Only just found your channel this week. New to running here (well at least consistently lol) and have had my own issues with food/body image in the past. This now influences the way in which I coach (Personal trainer) others as its about the long game and improving relationship with body image and mind...Anyways, a long way of saying I really appreciate the honesty in this video. I think it's something that needs to change as so many stories come out of how athletes end up struggling with an E.D which blows my mind as that will ALWAYS effect performance and you would think coaches would want to protect against that.... Anyway, loving your channel, your message and general vibe.
You're so strong Phily and I'm so glad you were able to bounce back from such a negative experience being failed by others and re-find your love for the sport.
Every run that you smash, every pb that you have achieved, in the face to that souless human. Well done for smashing out running and not giving in champ.
I chose a lesser known D1 school with a coach who was from my country and explained the process of eligibility. There was never any body shaming and mental health was most important.
Thank you for sharing your story. The biggest positive I think you can take is that you recognised that the environment you were in was not right and that it needed to change. That must have been really difficult, and you should be proud that you made the right decision for you. Keep moving forward, and keep doing what you are doing. 😀👍
You are very brave to share such a story and inspire others who struggle with an ED. It’s never a straight path of recovery and each step you take forwards helps you build mentally and be stronger! It’s great that you appear to be using running to stay mentally strong and motivate you and others! ❤
Wauw, Phily...!
Quite a story and struggle.
Its important you tell about this to everyone, so thanks for doing it.
I'm a coach and have a very different approach to coaching.
Trust, honesty and positivity is key towards the people I train.
I have almost 40 years of experience and 20 of those with elite.
If I meet you in Copenhagen, you'll get a hug and a cheer 🙂
NCAA div 1 athlete. I can totally get the training not being individualized. I was American Football player and we lift weights obviously starting in HS. When I arrived at university I was the strongest I would ever be and the training program was archaic. I made very little progress it was like the opposite of my training prior. I was one of the strongest players on the team arguably the strongest but couldn't make progress. High volume training with not enough of recovery between sessions. After finishing that program I returned to my old training and immediately big gains.
Thank you for sharing Philly. What a difficult time. I'm sure that you sharing this will help some other young lady.
Your intro statement was worded as a true winner! You will do very well in life with your attitude.
Thanks for sharing. I think as you look back you will see it as an experience that motivates you more. Prove people wrong. If it helps you in achieving your dreams then it was all worth the hardship.
Totally. And I’ve even moved past the “prove people wrong” phase.. I just don’t care what they think so feel I have nothing to prove. I just chose to focus on me and gravitate towards that positivity 😊
Thank you for telling your story. It is sadly not an uncommon one; the systems we have in place are failing athletes, especially female athletes, at high rates at every level. Silence allows these coaches to continue their abusive practices. Speaking out about it is such a difficult thing, especially when you are constantly made to feel like you are ungrateful and at fault if you got anything less than a positive experience out of it. But speaking out about this together is the only way to change things. I'm really happy you got out of there and are doing better now.
Inspirational and important for many to watch this video
I’m a sophomore going into my second season ever of cross country. I used to play basketball but it got harder throughout 7th grade and I became depressed. When looking back at that it felt like a gravel of failure. I mentally felt dead to the world. I cried behind closed doors until it hit a breaking point. I remember it clear as day. It was 7th grade February in the morning I was upset and I went to a rage of sadness saying “iwtd”. Then I was picked up and me and mom talked about my problems and we cried. It got better through 8th grade. Then when 9th grade came around I thought I was going to hate running. Then I ran my first meet and never felt so alive. I’m so much more happier now than I’ve ever been . Good luck to your future endeavors
I love your videos but I particularly love the way you do sponsorships... genuinely hilarious and super creative! 11/10
Wow Phily! Thank you for sharing this. It's encouraging to hear someone's testimonial of persevering through pain and challenges, both internal and external.
Keep up the hard work!
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
Your honesty and self reflection are inspirational.
Also like it better when you're not goofing around because there's so much depth to you.
Thanks again.
Thank you for sharing you story Phily! I’m glad you can talk about all of it so other people can maybe recognize themselves! Truly inspiring to see you so well after all!
Thank you for your openness and honesty. I'm very impressed that you can reflect on your experience so calmly and dispassionately and take positives from a challenging time. Having the RIGHT people around you is so important. Best wishes for the future.
This is such a tremendous story and insight into the world of what a professional persons looks like. When you break it down it’s tough but you experience it and made tough decisions and came back. Such a difficult situation and trust that change is good.
Thanks for sharing! I am glad you got yourself out of that situation. you're such a sunny person and it sounds like they were (maybe inadvertently, but still) trying to put out your light. Not ok!
Thanks for sharing, congrats on staying strong and keeping running.
I briefly ran D1 and the psychological trauma from the coach....a lot!
wow this was incredibly honest and powerful thank you for sharing
Thank you for sharing your story. It made me cry. For your coaches to tell you that you were too happy to be there is just bizarre. What I take away from this story is how you really did advocate for yourself quite well but unfortunately you were dealing with a system that seems to put winning over a sense of humanity. I'm glad you went home to heal. That was so wise!
Thanks Phily, really honest and brave. You're awesome, I hope you succeed with all your goals; you deserve it 👍
Wow Phily, what an amazing and honest story. You’ve come so far and can’t wait to see what you achieve in the near future 💫
There's a lot to be said for good mileage, and not overdoing the anaerobic, high lactate workouts. My plan this year is just to stay injury free, and it is working, I have had eight months of steady training (steady in not increasing mileage or intensity dramatically at any point) and I had my best ever age grade result at parkrun, and I am faster than I have been for nearly five years. Looking back at the stats mileage always correlated with better performance, that used to lead to me trying to run too high a mileage. I think around 70-80 km per week is about right for my 61 year old body. You are inspiring person, for all of us, runners and non runners alike, and a great role model for young women and girls. I will continue to recommend your content to all.
Phily, it's so very important that you share your NCAA story as many perspective NCAA athletes can learn from it, so thank you for that. While the specifics of your story are unique to you and your experience, the general tale of a mismatch between an athlete and a program is absolutely a regular occurrence, especially at the Division I level. As you said, if you get a change to run for Oregon, you take it, but it can't possibly be the right fit for everyone that is offered. It's unfortunate that some coaches prioritize acquiring an athlete's services over ensuring a proper fit for both the athlete and the program. Sad to hear of what you went through, but happy to know that you recovered and that, like you do with many of your experiences, you can sort out what can be learned from it. Best to you as always.
Phily, thank you so much for this video!! I remember in one of your very early videos (a windy Q&A perhaps?) you mentioned some negativity about the NCAA process, and I've always wondered since what happened. Your honesty and openness is very refreshing - you must be so proud of how far your running has come since those days!
What a big story. I can appreciate every word of this. This is a reality of being the absolute elite athlete. Not wrong not right.
Thanks
thank you so much!