Parents Decide to Let their Daughter Go Upon Fire Injuries | Chicago Med | MD TV
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 พ.ค. 2023
- Dr. Manning and Dr. Bekker treat a badly burned patient who has a long road to recovery. However, her parents want to end her life
From Chicago Med Season 4 Episode 2 'When to Let Go' - Stella Kidd is rushed to the hospital with the possibility of losing one of her lungs, threatening to end her career. Dr. Halstead’s father is admitted and later dies from his injuries. Dr. Manning treats a badly burned patient; Dr. Choi treats a patient from an apartment fire and is convinced that she had been beaten before the fire started.
Chicago Med (2015) The doctors and nurses who work at the emergency ward of the Gaffney Chicago Medical Center strive to save the lives of their patients while dealing with personal and interpersonal issues.
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I have to respect her parents for only considering their daughter before their own pain.
Bless their heart, it’s a tough decision
Nope. She's a kid and things change as you grow and you should have the chance to know if you could deal with it.
@@MariaMaria-sr8zggrow up no one wants to go through this situation forever
@@user-sd4op4mh5lit’s not forever did you not hear the time frame they gave them for recovery she would learn to do stuff all over again yes but again not forever
@@reannavaladez3290 it's emotionally, economically and physically draining. You can't always let the person go through all of this. And there is no guarantee she'll pull out of this even slightly better. It can all be in vein. So don't judge someone who chooses the easiest route, sometimes it's necessary
I don't think a lot of people realize how horrific burns are especially when they're over a large area of someones body. My stepdad fell into an open manhole in the city into a hot water line as a college kid. Months in the burn unit & he still has scars at 60+
I woke up in a recovery unit to the most bloodcurdling screams ever. I called the nurse and asked what was happening. The nurse said the patient was a young man who was out getting drunk with his friends when they challenged him to climb a pole and touch the wires. Managed to do it, then fell. Lots of broken bones but the screaming was from 3rd degree burns on most of his body. Nurse said he was on pure morphine and if they upped his dose any further they'd be outright killing him. I can still hear him almost 50 years later.
I had a friend whos dad had an accident at work which gave him burns on 90% of his body. It took him years to get somewhat better. Burns are so dangerous.
@@angelachouinard4581Okay, no way it was 3rd degrees, 3rd degrees kill the nerve endings. Nvm, I just searched it up. A 3rd degree burn is painless, but it can hurt from deep pressure, like a broken bone that’s not in place correctly. So yes, you were right, I was wrong, and I just tried to correct you. Thankfully, unlike 95% of people in TH-cam comments, I decided to fact check it before posting the comment.
@@raven_1133lol but still posted it along with you correcting yourself 😂
You should ask him if he would’ve rather been dead than go through the recovery and if he has ever wished that he didn’t get help
Honestly, that girl is in for years of pain and agony. Years of emotional distress. Years of therapy. I’m so glad they decided to keep her alive, but I definitely didn’t blame them for their decision to take to tube out when they did.
@@Julie86Mac well yeah but sometimes I can’t help but feel connected with the situation going on in the show
@@Julie86Mac The TV show emphasizes the drama, but this does happen in the real world. Sides, who says a TV show can't make think of "what if" hmm?
@@Julie86Mac but stuff like this is Very real.. it does happen sadly.
@ShadeKoopa I can from experience that I have been in a situation similar, with my dad. They offered surgery, which best outcome was 60% he would be parlayed, 30% he would die, and 10% it wouls work but he would have years of therapy to recover. We choose not to do the surgery because we knew it was not something he would want. He did survive for a while more then the doctors expected but ultimately he did not make it.
But I will say sometime I wonder what would have happened if we tried
@@Julie86Mac
Ok bumpkin.
If my parents were in this situation, I would want them to make the decision to let me go. I have so much respect but them.
Burns have got to be one of the most tragic things a patient could ever go through. Not only is it tremendously painful, but the emotional pain can be excruciating as well. It’s so heartbreaking
I used to date a burn dermatologist. A lot of the patients had really good outcomes. I was surprised at how quickly the kids recovered.
At some point the burns can become so severe that the nerves are totally destroyed so they can’t feel pain
Did anyone else notice that nobody is wearing protective clothes? This despite being burned over 80% of her body.
It’s a show Kelly, it’s a tv show.
@@Izzybaggins Could still be a bit realistic lol! Even law and order svu has done more realistic burn treatment.
@@HazzerJazzer1 dr house got it right though, at least when he didn't wear protective clothes, he got screamed at for
@@Izzybaggins More like a cartoon
Im seeing the "iT's A tV sHoW" excuse logic again.
Burns are insanely painful and last a long, long time. I wouldnt want to live with that, so props to these parents for considering their child before their own grief.
honestly kudos to these parents. too many people are selfish and will prolong the pain and agony of others - humans and pets - just for themselves without considering the actual living being
idk if you have children, and yeah maybe i am selfish, but my kids? i could never. if they asked for it okay,, but if it was just purely my choice? i couldn’t. even the thought makes me cry. it would devastate me beyond imaginable
@@atbadwolfbay14i think it’s disgusting that parents would put someone they are supposed to love thru pain and suffering , stop being selfish, it’s not about you
@@thatvampiregirlexactly
@@atbadwolfbay14what if they were in such terrible state couldn’t even talk? Love comes in many forms.
Big yikes. I had an injury where my chest got hit that caused years of pain(even occasionally hurts to this day) I never was unconscious so luckily no one called my for death because “oh she’s in pain” :(
Respect to parents who let their kid's suffering end, absolutely inconsolable and heartbreaking decision to make.
Absolutely. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be kept in this state.
@@juliemcgugan1244 Nor me, and some burn victims tragically need lifelong medical care and surgeries for their injuries, every day is pain and suffering. Must be even harder for those in the USA with the infamous dodgy medical insurance.
I also respect the parent's decision. My dog Oliver passed away last and rather than spending thousands of dollars on surgery that would prolong his pain, my family and I decided it would not be right for him to be in pain all the time. If there was a scenario for our dog to live longer, we would do it.
@@tylerhacker4865 I feel you in full on that, of course I never wanted my cat to pass on but old age was inevitable we kept up his medicines and vet checks always checked him for pain and when he showed it we let him go to sleep.
Absolutely tragic but for me it wasn't half as traumatizing because I knew the end was near and he'd reached the finish line of life and went over in peace being held and cuddled.
There was a certain kind of much needed closure with that and knowing full well he never suffered.
you can say that. but i know burn victims. (and a suicide survivor)
that are ALL glad they are still alive.
and life has continued normally for them. they found love and everything.
I could be wrong, but this feels like a major misrepresentation of burn wound care in the medical field. Burn wounds to this extent would require an immediate airlift to the closest specialized burn wound care center. 80% of the total body surface area burned only has a 10% survival rate in a specialized burn wound care unit (probably .1% in a general ER), and that's not even beginning to talk about quality of life IF you survive. It's not "a couple of months in the hospital", it's years and years of grafts and revisions and excisions just to be able to get SOME elasticity in the skin so that you can BEGIN physical therapy... You'd be in pain your entire life.
Exactly! Not that they didn't have a point about the other body image issues she had previously suffered, but honestly that was basically missing the forest for the trees here.
I wouldn’t want to live like that.
i was thinking pretty much the same,80% burnt not sure its even survivable with the best care (not a med professional just thinking aloud)
Maybe she's not stable enough to move
Thank you for saying this! As a health care worker, I was troubled that the scene was written as if her surviving was guaranteed as long as she got surgery. The show never addressed the depth (first degree up to fourth degree) of the burns either, which along with the percent of her body covered would give us an estimate of how likely she is to survive. Whatever the number is, it's certainly not 99-100% with surgery, and that's not even including the issue with the carotid artery.
I dislike but elect to give shows a pass about where the care takes place. Shows set in an ER typically keep patients inappropriately there, as those are the characters the viewers know. Likewise, shows about surgeons generally have the surgeons doing everything from the ER doc's job to the porter's to the nurse's to the ICU's. Having said that, yes, agreed that irl this patient would be immediately transferred to a burn unit.
As a child who was in the hospital and on deaths door, I really hoped my parents had just let me go sometimes. The medical costs that plagued our family afterwards are just too much to bear
The US healthcare system is to blame
not your fault all the governments fault, healthcare should be free, or at least cost 1/100th what it currently costs
As a parent, the burden of the silence that was once filled with your voice, your laughter, and your songs would have been far worse than anything else. Try to remember each day, that your parents cherish you that much, I wish mine had.
When I was little I was very sick, the medical testing was just torture, the surgery was torture. I didn’t want the surgery I wanted my family to just let me go from the agony I was in. I suffered mentally for years after recovering since I spent half my childhood so sick and in hospitals.
Even if the medical bills were free, quality of life and appropriate health care need to be accountable. Since human euthanasia has been received a green light in Canada, people with incurable diseases or feel that they lived enough (aka older people who don't want to end up in nursing homes living in diapers) want to receive the last shot.
My worst nightmare is being a burn victim. The horror and pain is beyond anything.
I was burned at 18 when the gas tank in the car I was a passenger in exploded. My legs, arms and hands, and face had third and second degree burns. I was eighteen and in the hospital over six weeks. I am so glad to have lived and gone on to a full with my husband and our son.
So glad this mentioned the will to live and overcome. It’s worth it!
I made my husband promise to not let me suffer ever. I respect the wishes
What happens when you stub your toe
@@daisyviluck7932 really?
This is why if anything happens to me I don't want want to be kept alive
As tough as this is, i appreciate that the parents were able to make that decision. Quality of life is important. Obviously it should have been the girl's choice to start, but it's clear the parents were devistated over this, and weren't making this decision lightly. What no one wants to admit is the long term financial cost that is going to devistate the family. From the inital ER and surgery bills, the long term treatments, medication, time off of work (and likely job loss, which will include the loss of insurance), as well as damage to future job prospects for the girl and overall hadm to her long term quality of life. Im sure finances were also discussed by the parents prior to the decision, which is a sad reality in and of itself that it must be part of the conversation. The girl choosing to fight to live is her own choice as it should be. But i hope the parents aren't villainized for choosing quality-of-life over life at any cost.
Murica
@@Mmjk_12 I find it interesting that translator as part of comments translated “murica” to “kill”
Murica!
Atleast we can pay for those bombs used on 3rd world countries!
As a parent, your decisions should be based on what's good for the family. A decision to try to keep her alive as long as possible could leave all of them living a life of a miserable existence
This is why euthanasia needs to be on the table. Ideally, if they were able to stabilize her and knew she would be able to wake up in the future, the protocol should be to wait until she's awake and ask her if she wants to proceed with treatment or end her life. Obviously with the input of psychologists and other doctors, of course, but she should be a part of that decision.
And yeah, I hate it but my first thought upon hearing what she'd go through was "how much will all that COST?" That's almost certainly millions of dollars in the hole. She and her parents would be in debt for the rest of their lives. It's a sad reality and it shouldn't be like this, but that is the reality in America right now.
Everyone should have the right to die with dignity, I'd want the same thing tbh
*******With the person's consent
@@jimmybalzac6021 yes ideally they should ask her when she wakes up but sadly once she's breathing on her own it's apparently no longer her choice whether to live or die
@@renano95 In a lot of US states euthanasia is legal, so it would be.
@@badateverything5392 a lot of them? Pretty sure it's only like 10
You can live with dignity but you can never die with it
it's hard to get in their shoes, but if i was, i would have done the same. If i were severly burned like this, taking years to recover, having to learn everything again, having horrible scars of the accident on 80% of my body, i would be relieved that my parents chose to let me go
You wouldn't be relieved. You wouldn't be anything. You'd be dead.
@@Trogdor1365 Yes, but nothing might be better than suffering.
@@Trogdor1365 sounds better to me than living like that.
Yes, especially with her being a minor that already had body image issues before hand. They were taking quality of life and what the daughter would've wanted into consideration and that's beautiful.
@@Trogdor1365the spirit, Maaaaan! 😑 tap in homie ommmmmm
I was a nurse. One of my best friends worked a burn unit because he had been badly burned as a child. I know what I saw when I visited him and what his life was like. If I sustained burns like that, I would want to die. The agony that awaits her is not what anyone would want to go through. It is a sham life, constantly having children scream, people shrink away, living huge parts of your life in so much pain.
Letting her go is the right decision here, if you look at projected quality of life it’s just not worth it
Look. If i ever was a burn victom, if i was in a coma or something horrible id want them to let me die. I wouldnt wanna suffer
Livin as a burn survivor it's a extremely hard life. Shout out to whom keep on fighting...
God bless you all the days of your life as you go on no matter what.
I think the parents made a very sound decision. Of course, I'm sure it wasn't easy by no means, but they may have already knew what their daughter would have preferred. I know for myself, my parents and I have already had these types of conversations as well as with my doctor. I personally have a DNR, which to some may be pretty bizarre considering many factors such as age, but like someone commented already - quality of life is very important. These types of talks are scary, but it's imperative that you have them because you just never know.
But you realise that resuscitation often results in a healthy life, right? I don't know if you have a known condition that might make the outcome worse, in that case I get it. But if you're a healthy person, it seems strange to me. If you're in an accident that stops your heart, they couldn't even do anything. Even if you're perfectly fine otherwise and have no long term injuries. There are many situations where a cardiac arrest is just a short issue and dealt with quickly it's no issue. This is just my opinion. It would make more sense to put down on paper that if your situation has no future, then they take you off life support. But to not even try, that's just scary.
@@plumdutchessAs a med student, this is not true. Cardiac arrest is never just a “short thing”. I can count on one hand the conditions that might cause a cardiac arrest that allow a patient to go back to their normal with no complications.
I freaking love this show and honestly hearing about her body image issues and bullying, if she had come out of the induced coma and saw herself there would be so much trauma and a risk of killing herself.
To be realistic they would have Delores from accounting come in and advise them that they are not covered by the insurance for any of the treatment but sign here and the large corporation that owns the hospital is willing to take their retirement, home, auto and garnish their wages
I worked in a whatever position at a few hospitals. One "case/patient" will haunt me forever. I saw & interacted with thousands of patients, but this ONE was the most difficult. A young child came to th ER via ambulance. The nearest/best children's hospital was there to transport child. But children's kept lapsing back into arrest. When we finally got child stabilized for transport, the mom was told to go ahead & they're meeting her there. Mom left to get a head start of the transport ambulance, child arrested AGAIN! Mom came back...& said "stop. Just stop.her body is trying to die, so just let it".
This child was in a car accident 2 yrs prior & had spent about 20 months in & out of hospital. Once it was "called", I stayed in the bathroom crying so long, mY supervisor cane knocking. Being the mom of a special needs child myself, that child/mom/case will always be the most memorable, the most heartbreaking. That mom is incredible. That night, alone she watched her child be resuscitated at least 10 times. So almost 2 yrs added to it, i cant imagine. 😢💔💔
im so sorry you had to experience that. i cant imagine what you were thinking and i cant even begin to imagine how strong that momma was :( 💜
I know it must have been so hard for you to experience that, but I’m grateful that the Mom had someone with as much empathy as you do there as a witness and not some other person who wouldn’t have understood the depths of her heart. I’m sorry for your trauma, I can’t imagine how hard it was. I just want to leave you with this.
Your body is like a clay pot.
And trauma is a potters tools
Cutting into your side
It feels like a part of you is being cut away….
But I can zoom out and see the whole picture
Your clay pot is not cracked
It is not weakened or broken
I can see the pattern engraved in you now
The beauty, the power, the message you have been given
To the clay pot you just feel the pain of trauma….
But others can see the beautiful pattern the potter has engraved in your side.
Ultimately not weakening but empowering, turning clay into a piece of art.
I’m not saying it’s good it happened, Im not saying you deserved it, just saying I can zoom out and see it. Your gorgeous pattern. ❤
Did she survive
@@shinyhunteralana2297 I don't think so. When the OP said "called", I think she meant calling the time of death.
@@ZukoHalliwell ok ty
I’m a young adult that still lives under my parents roof while I’m in grad school, and I’ve been up front with them about how if I ever were in some sort of massive medical emergency that would leave me in a great deal of pain for the rest of my life, brain dead, I’d have to relearn everything, extremely dismembered, stuck in a coma for years, etc. I’d want them to let me die. I wouldn’t want to live like that. My parents told me they wouldn’t have ever let me live like that if something were to happen, which is nice to know we have the same morals and beliefs on this topic. I had learned about Terri Schiavo in college and I did not want to end up like how she was, legally brain dead and on life support for 15 years because of a legal battle between her husband and parents on what she would have wanted. It’s a lesson, always have your wishes/desires straight when it comes to something massively medical/is a matter of life or death. Doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, anything can happen to anyone at any time. I know that sounds morbid, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. For me, part of it too is that I wouldn’t want my family to spend massive amounts of money on my treatment and taking care of me (because if I’m impaired how could I pay for it? Or drain my bank account) and risk them losing their savings and retirement funds. Also, I want to be remembered as the person I was before something bad happened that lead to some impairment, because if I’m alive with that, the memory of me would be clouded by that. Such as, if I were in a lot of pain and suffering I wouldn’t want to be remembered in that condition. Also, depending on the type of impairment, my family would end up grieving the old me and then if I were to die at some point from the impairment, they’d have to grieve my death all over again, and I’d hate to do that to them.
EDIT: when I talk about this I’m referring to EXTREME medical issues, not a medical emergency that can be bad but that has a good prognosis which includes maybe needing some therapy, rehab, surgery, etc. I’m referring to extreme cases like the one in this clip.
I feel the same. I've told my husband the same kinda thing. Something extreme like that I wouldn't want to live. I already have health conditions and pain conditions and I do have some good days but I have many bad days and I would never want to live way worse than I do
To each their own, and may each request be respected. 💜 (hopefully never needed though lol)
Word of advice, get it in writing. Emotions can get high and people stop thinking.
@@breezystl777 ❤️❤️❤️
I watched my aunt go through MS till she passed, she was always in pain, couldn't enjoy life she was tired and just let go.
I don't want that
I understand the parents decision.
I totally respect the parent's choices. I would hope if I were in an accident like this my mom would let me go. I know she wouldn't but I would not want to live like this.
This has to be a parent's worst nightmare
I don’t blame the parents, they knew she would have been depressed, but understood she had fight in her
Sometimes it better to let someone go - sometimes living is far more painful, torturous, and cruel then death. Having your wishes made clear to those you trust is important. And it's never easy to make a decision like this for someone else. The only thing you can - and should - do is respect someone's decision: specially if you hope others will respect your decisions.
Took medical ethics last semester, these types of situations are a lot more difficult to unpack but at at the end of the day, if the parents decided not to continue treatment, they’re doing it with the best intentions
I've watched my own mother die, and it came down to quality of life not the cost. I was with her the last several weeks in home hospice. Not an easy choice by any means. Her poor parents 😢
Isn’t an easy choice…but we understand ❤️❤️
same thing with my grandfather. he was alive and “aware” to a degree. he’d wake up and smile at everyone but it wasn’t him anymore. he couldn’t breathe without the tube and finally we made the decision to pull the plug. nothing is more gut wrenching than watching someone you love pass away in front of you and hearing their heartbeat slow down. he was ready to go.
@@jayleighbear
as long as i am even 1% aware. i would not want anyone to kill me. as long as i can still see what happens next, i wanna live on.
there's people like that aswel.
once life is over that's it. so you wanna make it as long as possible.
@@darkracer1252 he was practically brain dead. his body was making movements but he couldn’t breathe on his own. it was basically like factory settings. he would have had to live the rest of his life with a tube down his throat confined to a hospital bed with no hope of ever getting better. we waited two weeks to allow everyone to say goodbye but he had explicitly told us in the past he would never want to live his life like that.
@@jayleighbear
basicly i would 100% haunt anyone who pulled my plug.
As one that often wished to have been let go, I appreciate that they stood for what they knew she would want and ultimately by having the convo in front of her, letting her body choose
Dad took it like champ and kept his cool in every frame he was in. I know there are actors but still, that is awesome.
I don’t blame them. I’ve told my parents if I were in a really bad accident that was life changing and I would be miserable the rest of my life don’t save me. I don’t want to live like that.
honestly, best parents ever, me and my mom have an agreement that if anything happens that may change our way of life and a decision has to be made, we would do it. We dont want a half life
One of the best crossovers the Chicago franchise has ever done especially with the fact everything happened because of one person
what?
Your child could still have a meaningfull life full of happiness and joy who are you to take that away from her?
@@lorettabryan3057 A parent who knows their child and struggles and how they deal with them.
Yes she could have a good life, or she could have an existence of suffering. If she was already having a tough time with body image and fitting in, and things only just got better, to have to face an infinitely more difficult version of that issue ontop of a whole bunch of other issues is a herculean task.
Also what does that have to do with OP’s comment about this being a good crossover episode.
@@baguette4205I assume Chicago Fire was part of the episode
Can you give me some spoilers of the story?
I understand how difficult it must be for doctors to step back and allow parents/relations to make decisions of life & death they don't agree about, but famlies are much more likely to know the dynamics, personalities, wishes of family members than medical personnnel.
nah thats just manning doing her thing while thinking she always has the moral high ground
@@firstname9954Exactly always interfering in other people's business literally hurting her patience more than doing good because she's don't ever just do her job and mind her business
@@lucyziegler wait so the doctor didn't really take her off the machine.
If it were me in that bed, I prefer my dignity and count on my family to not let me live like that! She was bullied before the burns, and kids are freaking cruel!!
I would do the same for my child ,it’s heartbreaking but who wants to see their kid go thru that
If her body was 80% burn the doctors and the parents should have some protective equipment on. Because her body is severely damaged and exposed.
They were thinking about pulling the plug before they saw her
@@20PINKluvrIn the end she didn’t want to die. She wants to live.
The parents look so young to have a child that age. Also I don’t blame them if I was burned that bad I would want them to just let me go.
People would ask my mom if my older brother was HER brother.
Fantastic parents. I would want the same from my parents if this happened to me.
I'm 100% on board with the parents decission. I would not want to live like that, the pain, the slow progress, and the "life" you would have...it wouldn't really be a life worth living. Not to mention the financial strain the whole thing would put on the family, it's not fair for them either.
It takes an enormous amount of love to make that decision 💔
That girl is very strong. I'm shocked of it. Whoa... I'm speachless.
I respect the parents original choice. For me it's not worth surviving for more pain. Also how tf is ava a doctor?
Surgeons and especially cardio and neuro are often portrayed like that.
@@andream9470 from my experience from other students your either patient, determine and cooperative or you don't get anywhere with education at all.
My mom had cancer, her body was shutting down, several falls, she had a DNR bracelet and medical records. She fell backwards off cement stairs and hit her head. The doctor still asked us if we wanted surgery to fix her brain bleeds.
That's a Dr that needs to be reported for ignoring a DNR.
That's a gray area. DNR means that they do not attempt to bring her back should her heart stop. But if her heart's still beating and she has brain bleeds .... That's not technically resuscitation. As such they've got to ask. ( Probably hoping the family will say no )
@@peterkottke2570 with my Dad's DNR we were told they wouldn't have even brought him anywhere without HIS say-so. I guess probably every state is different and probably every hospital system as well.
@@andream9470no its not…every state and hospital is not different a DNR is literally what it stands for do not resuscitate if he were to stop breathing or his heart should stop nobody would do CPR but if his heart is still beating and he’s still breathing that DNR doesnt exist
one of the painful part is even after she's completely healed of her burns her movements would be limited
I wish more people took quality of life into account before their own feelings about love and missing someone. It's incredibly difficult but would make so many peoples struggles a lot less terrible.
Fr bro and then the person struggles
The parents had good intentions in my opinion, they clearly cared about her. It was in the aspect, was the girl going to be happy fighting financially and physically in a life on life support, having to regain and relearn how to go on with life.
The parents were aware with their daughter about the things she’s gone through and since chose the hard decision she needs to go.
they clearly don’t want her to go, just something to bring her peace.
This is why everyone should have an advanced care directive that outlines what decisions you'd make for yourself in these scenerios so if you're incapable your family doesn't have face the burdeon of making the final call
I think it was a minor. But as a chronically I’ll person I’ve had open discussions with my mom since I was a teen and able to understand the concept and gravity of it all, probably even before that to be honest. So many times she actually asked me looking very sad, “ is it time?” Cuz I’ve been in such a bad way, and I’m like “no not yet” she’s always respected my wishes. That being said this is just s good example of why EVERYONE no matter their medical situation whether chronically I’ll or a “normal” healthy person should have open conversations like this, it’s scary snd not something people like to think about but it’s sooo important
A child can’t agree to that
@@averycheesypotato no true. But if you have these conversations with them early and continue by the time they are in their teens they will have a better understanding. My situation was different I had to have a very dangerous surgery at 9 and my mother didn’t want me to resent her and she explained the risks to me and of course I was like I want to live I want the back surgery( I have scoliosis, lordosis and kyphosis so I’ve birth which had over time caused more problems to this day at 32, it essentially squished and rearranged my organs. I struggle to breathe is the biggest issue which in lf itself affects the heart and even brain) I almost died from that surgery snd I was terrified. Again every child is different snd and not every child WILL understand, it’s different for every child and every situation. That’s why we shouldn’t judge because MOST of the time parents just wants what’s best for their kid.
I think when there’s a chronic illness like mine involved it changes thing’s completely like at that point at a certain age it SHOULD be the kids decision. Because they’ve been dealing with it and probably have picked up on a few things. And the gravity and seriousness, maybe maybe not. That surgery was the first serious medical decision I made for myself. I remember her sitting me on her lap and explaining it to me. I was scared but I thought about it a lot. When it came to the life altering stuff, she would read me in as soon as she felt I could comprehend the consequences. But it’s different for every situation not every 9 yr old will understand, I’m not even sure I understood, that being said despite the 4-5 months of being in the hospital and almost dying on the table( which I found out later- docs weren’t paying attention to my WHOLE body, just my spine, they were putting in a metal rod to keep my curve from growing worse)
I don’t regret it. If she had made it for me, I would’ve blamed her and been resentful( she knew me quite well)
@@averycheesypotato A child doesn't normally have the final say officially except in rare cases (sometimes with teens), but it can still be valuable to talk about it, at least in situations where there are serious health problems, so the parents have a better idea of how the child feels.
This scene is not that simple. If i was in that girl position i would have told them to pull the plug on me.
Imagine feeling depressed your entire life because of the way you looked, you dress, for being chubby and being bullied just make things worse for you, it makes you feel that you dont mattered.
I respect the people that chose to survive, to keep fighting and surving after an accident like this, but the truth is im not you, i dont have that will power that many of you have.
i think you have a lot of will-power, considering you would let yourself die if you were to ever be in a medical emergency such as this. you have so much strength and courage to be able to say what you’re saying right now, don’t think you’re a coward. a lot of people wouldn’t be able to make the same decision as you. :)
This is every parent's worst nightmare..
How dare that arrogant doctor speak to Mrs Goodwin like that😮
This is heartbreaking to watch on TV, I can't imagine when it comes time to make such a decision in real life. My heart goes out to everyone who ever had to make a decision like that.
As a nurse, this shows the importance of getting your medical wishes (code status) on paper and notarized so your true wishes are carried out.
Except minors don't have that option. Until a minor turns 18, their parents can make all the decisions for them regarding medical care whether they personally like it or not.
My respect to these parents to make this decision! Extremely difficult and heartbreaking 💔! They saved her many years of pain and suffering on top of what she had already suffered.
Would she survive? Yes. But what would the quality of life be?
It's a sad decision that lots of people actually go through. But I understand why the parents here made that decision. Mental health isn't a joke. Being bullied isn't a joke.
I had to do an induction for a mine site a while back, during the safety presentations they were talking about a chemical they used on the regular which, if it touched you, would cause SEVERE chemical burns. Everyone carried around a spray can of studd to neutralise it, and if even a couple drops got on you, you had to empty the can onto your skin immediately.
The presenter told us about a young woman who was working near a pipe carrying this chemical; something went wrong with a pressure valve, and a huge quantity ended up spraying all over her. His exact words to us "She survived, but she would've been better off dead"".
I wish they'd give some idea of how people pay for these procedures and doctors. Especially people who don't have sufficient medical insurance. 🤷♀️
I feel so sorry for that girl and her parents.
I know how it feels to struggle then at a moment of time where everything was good something terrible like almost dying happens.
A lot of people know in their own heart that they would not want to live permanently disfigured or a quadriplegic etc. Its good to see people respecting wishes, if that is indeed what there daughter would have wanted.
It really is a hard decision, but their initial decision was out of love.
There’s the old saying of a person choosing between what is right and what is easy. These parents chose what was right and it breaks my heart. I don’t know what I’d do if it was my child
micheal gambon said it in Harry potter
@@johannahyde-parker8422 not just him though, it is a saying that's been around for centuries.
I've been through so much already. If I have something very bad happen to me like this I hope my parents let me go.
I knew this couple, their baby was born with underdeveloped lungs. They were given the choice whether or not to take him off life support, as he would live his entire life hooked up to a machine. Ultimately, they pulled the plug, but the baby was breathing on his own. It was a miracle, as the doctors didn't think he'd survive. Life will be hard for him, but at least he'll have one.
Yeah sure you do lol
I'd rather die than live like that. I already know daily pain, and I barely survive that. I wouldn't even want to survive this.
Actually good parents. If I would’ve had to go through something like this as a teen, I more than likely would’ve taken my own life afterwards anyways, once I was able.
I feel so bad for the parents having to let their daughter die
You clearly didn't watch the whole video
They did the right thing. I would've been SO APPRECIATIVE.
Survive to something like this is one thing living after it is the real deal, not everyone can do it and the ones who does have my respect and prayers
I feel like most doctors that work with burn victims that severe would agree with the parents.
They'd never even be pushing to to keep going like this. They know the odds and they paint a less rosy and more realistic picture than what this show does.
No one should ever have to be put in situations like this
the parents are doing the right thing.
Quality of life >
These parents were so brave and selfless omg
Worked as a chaplain at a major university research hospital-very plausible scenario.
I have always told my family that if anything happens to me that would leave me in devastating condition. I never want to wake up, to just let me go. We are thankfully all on the same page.
This was beautiful - *such* a brave and loving decision by the parents, each time. FWIW, I think it was the right decision each time, and I only hope I can live up to the strength the writers gave these characters (and the actors playing them - such honesty in their performance!) if I'm ever in that sort of position. They were prepared to let her go, and she clearly chose to fight: whatever the outcome, that's a decision of which one can be proud xx
"Sink or Swim". The girl choose swim. The parents made a good decision by letting HER decide. People who might have question their decision need to understand that there are fates worse than death.
I've watched many of these video's and this one the only one got me crying.
Final selfless act of love
If this happens to me I hope my partner has the courage to say no to doctors as well.
You clearly didn't watch the video
Hardest decision for any parents 😢
Honestly it's a hard choice to make but you can understand their reasoning. Ignoring the likely years of painful therapy she'd have to go through just do even basic stuff again, she'd lose months, even years of her life in the hospital and live with burns all over herself, on top of all the stuff she was already dealing with.
Not to mention from a financial standpoint this would bankrupt her family and I doubt she'd want that either.
I mean, they're effectivly choosing to give up on potential decades of life because they want to spare her a few years of hardship. I honestly don't see how that checks out. Besides, from a pure psychology perspective, its not like those years of hardship would be solely comprised of unmitigated suffering anyway.
While I'm not a concequentalist/utilitarian, they're making a utilitarian argument and it fails on those grounds most of all.
@@TWlaz Your assessment isn't right. "Potential decades of life to spare a few years of hardship" is such a weak way to describe this situation it's almost outright untrue.
Those few years ARE going to be unmitigated suffering, the doctors explained as much. The thought alone of having to learn to EAT is mortifying. Then the hardship will follow, and it will be lifelong; for both her and her family. Yes, she might experience positive experiences outside of suffering in the future, but the suffering will always stick around until she dies. She will likely never be able to do most things, and what she could do would always be limited by her injuries. These limitations will effect all of her loved ones. The "decades of life" will be incomparable to her past or any hopes she may have had for the future. You just cannot minimize away the horrors she will face. You can't dismiss the quality of life she will have. "Life" is not inherently good, it has both good and bad. Her life is likely going to be almost entirely bad, and I can absolutely understand her parents deciding against forcing her to endure such a life.
I really dislike the notion of life over anything. We have a physician-assisted dying for a reason-- we know there exists a situation where life is beyond doubt not worth living. The line is blurry, but putting down this situation to "a few years of hardship" is just a low blow to a serious issue many people and their families face.
@@TWlaz former EMT here. 80% of her body burned won't be recoverable, like ever. That's severe nerve damage territory, that's a lifetime of pain, reduced mobility. She wouldn't be hunky dorry after a few years of painful recovery, she'll be "not in life threatening danger" after a few years of agony. The screams coming from the burn unit when we would bring in patients were always the worst. Every time the nurses would need to change the bandages, or just normal recovery. I still hear those spine chilling screams in my sleep. The only screams that were actually worse than the burn victims was the one I heard from a mother after she learned her son died in a school shooting.
a) and thats assuming she survives which with 80% of body burnt,its very unlikely
b) quality of life matters,and her quality of life even if she survives its pretty much as low as it gets,you may think being in a vegetative state its bad,but at least there your brain isnt working. 2 things i consider to be worst than death,locked in syndrome and this.
@@TWlaz Question, have you ever lived with chronic pain? And I mean pain so bad you have to medicate it with strong ass opioids and even then it can leave you bedridden for months, render you incapable of walking more than a handful of steps and needing a wheelchair? Pain that is never going to go away, no matter what you do?
That’s what I live with, everyday. Without my medications, the pain is so unbearable that I’ve begged for death on multiple occasions and sometimes even the medication isn’t enough. It’s not a life, it’s not even an existence. Mine wasn’t the result of burns or a near death accident - I just had a bad case of strep and my body has almost been attacking itself ever since, escalating over the past 15yrs.
They weren’t giving up on decades of life for a few years of suffering. That suffering was going to BE her life.
My son and daughter's high school friend, had a bon fire. Parents inside. The fire was dying out, she decided to pour gasoline on it. The only part of her not burned was the bottom of her feet. She lived a little over 1 year, mostly in a coma. Underwent over 30 surgical procedures. She finally passed from infection. She was in a highly skilled burn unit. As painful as losing her would be, I dont think I could put her through 365 days plus of the torture and years of rehab to "live" after being burnt that extensively.
They gave up on her?!
Insane.
Quality of life matters. Keep in mind that their daughter had been BULLIED and depressed for most of her school life and then FINALLY started feeling good about herself after she lost some weight. Then THIS happens. In the end, the parents are doing what's best for her. Not to mention, she's in for a lifetime of surgeries and skin grafts if she lives. The parents made the right call by not wanting her to suffer the rest of her life.
I wish we'd had that choice with my grandpa. He had blood cancer (qnd other cancers they couldnt locate but knew they were there) and literally went through treatment until his heart just stopped beating. I wish we'd had a chance to stop his suffering earlier.
Same. All four Grandparents, no doctor tested for cancer until it was too late. And then there was nothing to do but watch as they wasted away.
My mother had the same. She died last week
Living with a painful disability is never easy, but the people who do are stronger than the mountains they climb every single day. Keep climbing, even when your body shakes from the pain, it is worth it.
I am so glad they changed their minds in the end. Imagine the converstaions afterwards though-
Seems like a good parenting moment to teach your kid that living and a life of suffering isn't always the best choice.
We had to let my dad go too in the same situation. We really thought he’d make it, but it just wasn’t looking good, to say the least.
Daughter wasn't ready to go. ❤❤
Both my mom and I had horrible burns on our chest and the scars lasted for years. I was 7, and it didn’t go away until my college years. My mom got burned when I was 15, and she still has them and tenderness 13 years later.
As someone who has worked in the medical field, this was a good decision to let the suffering end.
I respect the parents choice. It would be a terribly terribly hard choice to make.
I wouldn't want to live like that. I better let my family know in advance.
A medical power of attorney that states your wishes should you become unable to voice them is exactly for situations like this one
Except minors don't get to have power of attorney: until they turn 18 all medical decisions have to be made by the parents regardless of how they personally feel. And not everyone has a power of attorney on hand because they either couldn't afford the legal expenses for it or didn't think they would need one.
Besides, power of attorney can be revoked by a court order if the doctors have reason to believe the person with that power is either abusing it or not utilizing it for the best interest of the patient. A good example is if a woman with Down Syndrome is pregnant but there's an issue where the pregnancy could kill her. There's been some issues where people feel like individuals with Down Syndrome or similar disabilities aren't capable of making their own decisions and automatically transfer power of attorney to their parents/caregivers. And even if the pregnant woman is screaming she wants them to save her baby, her power of attorney could force her to have an abortion if the diagnosis isn't looking good.
What do ya do then?
Honestly I’d rather have my family pull the plug than have me live that tough a life
Not an easy decision but I can’t imagine anything more agonizing than burns and the treatment afterword. I’d want to go.