As an INFJ, you kinda don’t wanna be one... it’s very confusing as you understand everyone but no one understands you (or do you think)! At the end of the day you feel lonely all the time often comforted by your thoughts and self as you are the only one that truly understands you!!
Is that not a consequence of not really revealing yourself, at least as is typically the case with infjs? They usually show a lot of Fe, but usually are very private otherwise?
I’m an INFJ as well, and I completely agree. Sometimes people think it’s cool to act like one, but in reality they have no clue. (sorry if this was weird, not in the best state of mind to be able to type but it’s whatever)
Same, sometimes I step back and think not everyone has to experience this amount of self introspection and overthinking and wish to turn it off to experience what everyone must be feeling.
@@vigiantitanudjaja1364 I think I found a way to turn off the introspection temporarily by getting entirely immersed into Se, but I noticed that every experiences like that are really shallow. As much of a curse as the introspection is, I think it almost serves as like an early headstart in maturity. I think the Ni-Ti loop is to blame for why the instrospection becomes a stressful burden.
It's because we're addicted to thinking about ourselves. We are a big puzzle to solve but it feels like none of the pieces fit very well together. Even if an INFJ would try to figure themselvs out fully they'd eventually return to self obsessing after a while. It's a loop haha.
Absolutely. Yesterday I was in bed the entire day cause I felt so confused about what I was actually feeling just because I spent the day with two people and one of them was extremely depressed which manifested itself in him being negative about every topic discussed. I was in pain and had to listen to binaural healing beats all day just to feel normal again.
Hahah yes I have never noticed why before. I burn so much energy when having gatherings and have to take a break on my own for a few days or more to recover 😅
I don’t know how old you are, but it takes a while to find grounding in who you are. For me journaling and being extremely vulnerable with people I trust have helped me grow. Oh my faith as well. You can’t get past the deeper meaning of life thoughts lol
I feel like the humans don't understand themselves, so how can the understand the INFJ? I no longer hope for anyone to "get" me. I actually find it comical when someone attempts to know me.
This is too accurate lol. I'm currently seeing a therapist (for the same personality disorder that comes with being an infj-t) and Im asking him questions as if Im the therapist.😁
Olivia Miller - As an older female INFJ, I think it is especially important for us to pick the right partner, since we are known for our pickiness. Ime, avoid the ESTP and the INTJ at all costs. ENFJ, ENFP, and ISFP can be good matches, imo. Go after what you want, so you don't end up with "what if?" when it's too late.
@@meagiesmuse2334 How do i even explain to a significant other that I have inner dialogue?... Constantly over thinking and deep in thought about something that dosen't matter. Will they even understand me? Or pretend to know what it's like and say, it's okay. And then we grow apart because I sense she dosen't understand, or isn't capable of understanding at no fault of her own?
@@BenefitExploits - Good question, and I wish I had a better answer. I have been married to an ISFJ for 34 yrs. He lives in the present and thinks going over and over things that cannot be changed is a waste of time. He says I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, so just move on. I just tell him honestly what I am obsessing about, and he is sympathetic, but says he does not do that. I think N types should be with other N types, if possible, but if not, you just have to accept that you are different and try to find friends you can talk to about this issue. We will all pick people who are flawed, just as we are, so to me the question is whether we can stand to live with this particular set of flaws...
O.M.G my mind just exploded. I feel like i understand myself better now after your short video more than ive worked out myself in 40ish yrs!! And it's really hard being an INFJ in the world, it's sometimes like looking at a friend/colleague/ stranger and seeing subtitles scrollling over their faces (like reading their mind) while the words they are actually speaking don't match up. And INFJs are thinking "is anyone actually buying this crap??really? Cant you tell this person is lying"? And you totally nailed the facade thing. I do this ALL the time, i feel like im a different version of myself depending on who im with. Sometimes Im not sure who the real version of me is. But im constantly changing to reflect to others what they want or need from me to make things better or life to go smoother. I can read ppls "levers" and automatically push them for everyones best interests. I've been thinking im an awful fake person all these years. This video is a huge RELIEF...weight off my shoulders. Because im an INFJ this is normal. Thank you.
Nathan Glass I don’t 100% disagree with the way you describe INFJ but I honestly try my best to not interfere with Free Will. I want people to make their own discussions because that person is gonna know what they want most. I’ll tell someone that’s my opinion and how I see it. If someone is needing advice or help with a situation. I don’t like to change people of who they are rather I would be more like what do you need and how can I help. I would let that person make their final choice for their own well being, not on what I want.
I am COMPLETELY mystified why anyone in their right mind would want to be an INFJ personality type. I'm a 57-year-old INFJ and for the most of this life, I have merely observed, not participated, choosing to reside in my head, not in reality. I have never married and most of my relationships are short-lived and end badly. I've left so much relationship carnage and confusion behind me in my life, I've lost track. As much as I try to live in the present, I without fail end up back in my head in a Ni-Ti loop. This process in itself can drive a person insane. I find it impossible to trust anyone completely and only feel safe when I'm alone in my home with my dogs. Being INFJ is torturous and isolating and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The only time I'm able to have any facsimile of fun is when I morph into another personality type, using my chameleon abilities to fit in....that's usually when the comedy kicks in.... but the aftermath of that is usually profound loneliness and realization that I'm unable to truly connect to anyone. Still want to be me? No. It sucks, I promise you.
@@NathanJGlass I always knew I was different because kids treated me like an outcast. Looking back now that was probably because I stared a lot. I was brought up in a dysfunctional family who labelled me as shy and basically just left me to my own little world. I barely spoke but no one questioned it. As far back as I remember, all I did was observe other people, endlessly reading their behaviours,....adults, kids, teachers. I was around 12 when I divulged to my Mom that I didn't belong on this planet, ... no questions were asked, no doctors contacted, my parents just sent me outside to play alone and told me not to be silly. My thoughts were too obscure and abstract for them and when I did finally speak I was usually met with 'don't be ridiculous'. I would describe things in colours, shapes and textures rather than regular descriptive words and everyone thought that was hilarious. I remember once, a man came to our house, a work colleague of my Dad's. Later I told them that he made me 'prickly' ....literally that's what it was, a prickling sensation on my skin....and they all just laughed and told me not to be ridiculous. I was young. It turned out later he was a horrible man, quite the violent criminal. I was finally typed on the suggestion of a teacher at 18 but all was dismissed soon after graduation and I was just labelled 'sensitive' or 'psychic' by family and friends because I seemed to know a lot and would have dreams that appeared to be premonitions etc. It was only when I was older and started to communicate with my Mom in adult language and told her I had a 'library of reference material in my head', did she begin to realize I was different. It was a horribly lonely childhood though, just awful, spent in my mind, socially frozen, trying my best to morph into the crowd and stay quiet so as not to be noticed. As I said, I wouldn't wish my 'abilities' on anyone. These TH-cam INFJ videos have been an enormous relief to me though, knowing that there are others like me .... a huge relief. To be INFJ without explanation or anyone else to relate to without a lot of eye-rolling isn't a fun life at all.
@@sksbc3895 I know that feeling. I went through some of the stuff you went through as a child. I did not know I was an INFJ until I turned 40. I feel better now as an adult, due to the amount of information out there on INFJ. However, I am using my INFJ to my advantage now...
Me too i've been predicting things and most of it happens, and i get a lot of 'how do you know???? I never told you that...and im like...emmm its so obvious to me, even if you dont say it. I just realize that now, in my 40 that im an infj, i've read patterns all my life, been wondering why ceritain people reacts this way, and some people dont. In a group conversation, i'm automatically observing people reactions to stories....i thought everybody does that😄. I just realize im the only one. Luckily as an infj i learn fast from my mistakes. Especially when i know i need to love my self first before suceeding in love life. So i learn to accept my self, my flaws, my uniqueness, and be happy in my own skin first. Then, not long from that, im marrying my husband and Happily married for 15years with 2 beautiful children. I wish you love and all the best in life. You can try a self love eft practice, gratitude affirmations, or mirror technics. Good luck 😊
As an INFJ, when I came across another INFJ, I felt so naked. My subconscious created no certain way for me to behave. Like, it was then that I realized how extremely different my multiple personalities are and how they shift depending on who I am around. So I’m left wondering, “who am I, really?”
I usually befriend the outgoing types, if they make me feel comfortable and take the lead in conversation I can just listen and understand / give advice and 'normal' people who aren't us will happily talk about themselves all day so it works out perfectly... Until after a while you realise you know almost everything about them and they no nothing about you. Lonely
I've always thought of it like being a mirror in front of a mirror. Indefinite releflections. But know that I am getting older I can better control my insecurites and decide not to go into that "mental state"
That moment when you catch someone looking at you and then both of you stare at each other waiting for a reaction and nothing happens. A blank mirror. I think these people must also be INFJ when I notice them. I feel like they are doing what I’ve been doing. I’ve never managed to have a relationship with another INFJ because neither of us know how to express ourselves without prompting. A “psychic” tried to read me once and said there was nothing there and that I was blocking her somehow. I was offended, 😂. There is so much there. It’s just not about me. All my thoughts are modeling other people. On my own my thoughts just boil down to like, abstract brushstrokes. I can observe myself as a character but I can’t be present in my own thoughts.
I'm a INFJ and I have a problem where I make and create a different persona for all people. I Will be acting completely different to all my friends and to the public to a point where I question who I really am you know I think it's just a INFJ thing Edit: Thank you so much for your lovely comments and feed back I love reading your opinions and experiences I honestly thought no one would relate or understand❤❤✨ *Update a year later:* After learning more about typology and MBTI reading my comments makes me cringe on why I thought INFJ’s acted this way it was nothing to do with astrology nor water things lmaoo when you first get into MBTI or any typology theory you easily get influenced by others anyways with that said this is the answer to my own comment. INFJ’s are people pleasers especially because of their Fe. They are called mirrors for a reason they mirror the actions of the people around them to fit their liking a form of people pleasing. Ni-Fe relationship is complicated it likes things to be under control and dislikes conflict. To be a chameleon it satisfies both by a lot. So the answer is extrovert feeling. A user with Fi would not be inclined to fall into this because they value their own ideas, and self but a Fe users don’t tend to have strong opinions and when they do is usually because everyone around them do.
@@sugaloveCAFE I'm a ♈ ARIES sun my moon sign is Taurus and my rising is Capricorn s yeah but I loveeee my Pisces alot most of my favorite are Taurus Aquarius or Pisces!✨💜
@@darlenek.acosta2241 aries control the mind, i know a lot of aries who do that also until somebody light that fire than aries will come out , love . check out your life path number too and you will get a better understanding too
DARLENE K. ACOSTA I DO THE SAME THING WTF around some of my friends I drink and stuff and around my other friends I act like I never drank or smoked or any of that lmao
Lol why does anyone wants to be an infj, it's not fun and has disadvantages as much as advantages, it's only great when you develop your functions and find balance, which works wonderfully for any type :)
@manager-nim I've used positive manipulation in a far more complex manner than youre 'shopping' example - that being said it was the foundation of this reply (coz I'm trying to sound arrogant). Although my actions impacted each and every link in a chain events which lead to the most positive outcome - listening to the hearts of the people involved rather than words, everyone now lives happily ever after. However, being well over a year since this incident, i haven't yet fully recovered from the mental and emotional fatigue I brought upon myself- I necessary sacrifice I suppose. But I can't explain my guilt. So in regards to 'positive' manipulation and with all due respect, maybe I could derive an answer of my own if you could elaborate on your innocence...
agree so much i wish i was any other personality than infj..................;there is nothing special about us just a lot of pain loneliness and being misunderstood all the time....................;;it's not fun!!
@Death To Diaper Ghouls I have, but I learned that I have more important things in life than just worrying about mankind because we're screwed either way and won't be saved so I chose to focus on my life instead
To other INFJ'S who's reading this comment: don't feel bad or upset about your personality... Being an INFJ is also fun. It has good and bad sides just like any other personality type it's just that INFJs are quite rare as they say.being able to read other people, being very observant with our surroundings, being be able to adjust to our environment and not be able to fully understand ourselves, lol. I mean isn't It fun? We can be whoever we want to be and still be cat loving, solitude longing introverts at the end of the day.
I find strangers disclosing the deepest darkest secrets to me after knowing them for a few hours. They even look at me in shock and continue with, "I've never told anyone that before".
Sometimes in just a few minutes. It's like "Why the eff are you telling me this?" People are unbelievable, does this just happen to me? I'm glad I belong to a group experiencing this, out there, somewhere, on the web.
As INFJ becomes healthier, she/he will care more about their Fi and be more authentic and positive. May you guys develop to be a full-filled person who values and embraces yourself, finds out what is worth living for, solves every drawback of your personality one by one and live it up. Good things take time. Don't give up. Good luck!
I’m an INFJ that would love to share the truth of the world with everyone, that most everything in the world that they know is a lie, but their lack of dot connecting abilities leaves me.......
I don’t want to label myself, but from everything I’ve watched and read, I feel I am an INFJ. I have no idea what those letters mean, and I don’t really want to know. I just know I’m very different from most people and I’m fucked up in the head. And feel alone, very alone.
Z P - I agree with you about the labeling, no one should be contained in a box, especially with all the life choices and experiences plus other unknown factors that make up a person. Look up vids about “old souls” and see if you have similarities. Awakened people are going to feel lonely when most people retain their child side and stay in the comfort of the game. Stay strong, you’re here!!
All this shade for one of my faves 😭 I thought it was good that book 7 made a point to address how complicated he was for all the good he did. He neglected ppl he loved and put his work first, even willing to sacrifice others for the cause. Dark side. But without the work he did, every muggle-born may have died, and Harry wouldn’t have lived to tell the tale. And plus, you KNOW he be working behind the scenes. 😅 he got himself killed and managed to keep most of our favorite characters alive...
I am an INFJ, we were born sages for everyone else, and a mystery to our own selves. Manipulation depends on how much we value freedom and then applying that thought to others. I believe manipulation could be the INFJs greatest weapon, but we truly become wise sages when we don’t use it on others. “Soft subtle power” ~ that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. Thank you. :)
Yes. It is unbelievable easy (if the recipient hasn't got the same iq as you at least). Sometimes I am thinking: Ok, I seemed to selfconfident there, better show a bit of insecurity in order for them to better like me and "this guy is taking up too much space, I better indicate to the group that I don't approve of him" - and then they too will start to question him. It's not pretty when you say it out loud.
The part with the "soft and subtile power" hit hard. I have always been super-shy as a kid. People would always question my quietness and ask me why would I want to be so quiet and isolated. I was the quiet observer in class, but all my friends knew that when I spoke it was powerful. Even my teachers began to say that I had a "quiet strength".
I've seen it many times from INFJs! Being able to exert that influence behind the scenes or from the shadows even is very much an archetypical INFJ thing. Hope you enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan
I have just learned to keep my mouth shut, smile, and nod. The wasted energy I have spent in my life being an INFJ when I could have just been living in the moment.
Mary Ann I’m trying to do that more often & well I have been doing it. I just kind of lose that control at times, but at the same time it’s not really me losing control. I get a feeling at the back of my head that says no, but I just end up saying or doing it anyway.
Sometimes it’s better to just accept along to promote harmony, but when things call for it, we gotta speak up. Maybe make meaning out of a pointless life. Give it a purpose, just so we can move towards something. Let’s see how much I’ll listen to my own advice bye :/
Acess Emanez i chuckled, glad you feel the same way about yourself i as i feel about me 🤣 sometimes i either think i could be a genius or somethings wrong with me lol. INFJ with 50/50 left right brain dominance ... not fun
I couldnt really deal with the fact that part of me is THAT DARK, so to cope I turned my dark side into a character named Beth. Beth is a manipulative sociopath that is extremely vengeful and resentful, but hides it scarily well. I don't like Beth, but I probably would have become her if I had different parents.
"Dark Horse" I'm an INFJ and an Aries. Imagine the whirlwind in me haha. The more I read into INFJ and see others talk I find comfort in my personality. I've never realized how different I am until videos like this point it out. The worst part of INFJ is the insane expectations I place for myself and the perfectionist that comes with it. Feeling failure or the inability to complete this goal or meet this expectation is an emotional hell. It's intriguing.
I am an INFJ Aries as well! Odd combo, isn't it? I struggle with those same high expectations and perfectionism. It's okay to lower the bar a little-being able to make it over can give you a nice little boost of motivation.
I “craft” a persona when I meet someone new and can’t escape the situation. Like my most extroverted self. But when I’m the midst of my true friends that persona doesn’t come out.
As an INFJ it's not fun at all, I find I often confused people they find me hard to read and it makes socializing really awkward they don't know how to label me and it makes things uncomfortable apparently I don't behave how I'm expected to 😂 can I just live 🤦🏻♀️
Just be you. Others perception of you isn't your responsibility. We have no control over others idea of us, we might as well be our most authentic self.
I'm a 33 infj and yes still single too..😂 my family are freaking already and pushing me to get marry real quick.. I am judged s being too picky and having high standards when in fact i am not.. i'm just looking for a person i can connect to..
agree it's hard to be infj and when you see a video like that it make you feel like a bad person all around!! i am going to watch a Scott Morgan video he is himself an infj and explaine with a lot of kindness how we function!! i recommand him to infjs!!!
Naamy1989 I’ve met several INTJs, oh my, they don’t like talking about feelings, especially male INTJs. It’s unknown teritory for them. Lol. & they don’t really know how to have casual conversation, they wouldn’t know how just to enjoy small talks. Another flaw, they will say things as it is, doesn’t matter whether it offends the person, not because they want to hurt the person though, it’s just their habit, not aware that what they say will offend people. But INTJ are excellent employees though! Very efficient & they get the job done!
If you're not an INFJ, you can't become one. You can take advice and learn from us, but this is a part of who we are. I'm not trying to be harsh, but many people think that just because they're introverted, they must be an INFJ, aka, The Rarest Type. Just be yourself. We're all unique in our own special ways.
People just need to take the test. Than answer the questions honestly. I recently stumbled upon the discovery of MBTI. Before even taken a test, I only researched the descriptions of an INTJ, or INTP. Now the test. I took it twice to re-evaluate myself. And both times it said INFJ-A. Of course, you have the percentages too. I didn’t even know what that meant. Or it being the rarest. Which the INTJ is rare too. After doing research on this indicator type, from multiple sources. It is fairly accurate. Really cool. I only keep seeing comments about how deeply INFJ’s feel, but *INFJ’s are very logical too.* Both are combined. I know I do. I’m highly intellectual, but sensitive. I’ve read how the INFJ type, is the only one to really use both. My intelligence is subjective, yet objective. I see myself, than look beyond myself. _Edit:_ Also, people need to realize there is different gradients of introversion. Attached with other aspects of an indicator type.
I would never go to the lengths your grandmother did for that birthday party. Not even close. That sounded more like isfj behavior. I also don’t wonder around the grocery store or put zero thought into packing a bag. But, I get what you were trying to say.
David Kepke Same. I thought that example sounded more ISFJ, as well. Also Te PoLR example was off. It’s more like believing the truth of something, despite there being no “objective” evidence (Te) to prove your claims. Think astrology, dream interpretation, or conspiracy theories.
pressedinabook I have an ISFJ wife who does things like the grandma story with her mom and I call her out on it. Also, Infj will most always revisit a belief with new, hard data and see their own mistake in their thinking, and change their outlook. I stopped believing in any veracity of astrology in 9th grade. In fact, I can’t ever remember believing in it. Ne leads are definitely more methodical in their approach, but well developed Ti can appear like Te. Thats why there are probably just as many infj’s in STEM than the arts.
i agree with the the grocery store thing not applying to infjs but man ohhhh man i hella would go to the lengths her grandma did to make sure everything was solid for the birthday party. heck, tomorrow actually, i have a friends birthday party at my house and i've already set up my living room with a mattress neatly and everything since we are going to be watching movies. and ive gotten all the materials i have to make her cake. everything is clean and ready so tomorrow will be as much fun as it can be for her and our friends.
@@davidkepke1435 okay I see what you're saying. I think right now, being 21 and young still and not as experienced with life, I'd find some difficulty in buying presents for someone but having someone else say they did. but well. I'd do it for my little sister. id give her money to buy things for someone, and help her with what to buy. I think it's more of a motherly adult figure thing. his grandma doesnt need the presents to be from just her, her goal is that her son, his dad, has a good time and feels loved and appreciated. and shes willing to do that by helping her grandson get the presents. if you think of it as trying to keep order and her making her son feel loved, perhaps you can understand why she did what she did? and how other driven infjs would do the same? :)
I am an INFJ and I just want to say you have a beautiful manner of speaking objectively and attaining a balance between facts and opinions. It is easy to see you are very bright. Crazy how you said some of the internal thoughts and processed of mine I haven't been able to put into words...the manipulation thing whilst maintaining the best interests of both parties.... I thought no one knew about that. Hehe. Keep up the great work!
As an INFJ...I like solitude, quietness, rainy days and one to one intense conversations😂 We also do like solving people's issues and figuring people out😂that's true...keeping some of the relations intact😂 The grocery part is quite relatable😂 Well...being an INFJ is a blessing and a curse...so being the rarest type...is actually not really good in a way😂
My sis is an INFJ, she’s super intuitive & sensitive to what others think of her. I think the FJ plays into her perfectionism & her fixation on what others think of her. But she’s great at understanding others (she’s a therapist & a good one). As an INFP, I appreciate how deeply she thinks & her intuition :)
I’ll say with certainty that your Grandmother is an INFJ. She had clear foresight to successfully play out internally and then through experience concoct a simple solution through methodical instructions to avoid future conflict. I would say I've done this on some occasions including this birthday scenario just swap the couch for sitting in the kitchen with a nice cup of tea or a red bull depends on who I'm dealing with. I can understand some INFJs (perhaps younger ones) see this as manipulation in all negative sense of the word as in essentially taking away the free will of the person but it’s in a positive more productive way which would be to influence the manipulation falls more into the persuasive side with the plain language used to make it clear this is a choice. If you’re a trusted and respected INFJ to the person they’d surely trust the suggestion knowing the thought given and follow-through they know there is a benefit here and the fact you’re stepping in it’s for good reason and not malicious ones so communication is key (having an authentic persona would make it easier). I can imagine sharing a personal story to encourage the action/gesture but not one to promote guilt that would be too much. When you mentioned your Grandmother hadn’t even left the couch was what made me burst with laughter and totally convinced me down to the picture requests. The truth gift back is if in 12 months you do this all yourself, intentionally with your own flair because you actually wanted to do so. I'd shed a tear. I’m sure she’s diverted countless conflicts. She’s a True Class Act.
I think it's also a granny thing that comes from lifetime of managing household, raising children and grandchildren and keeping everybody happy and healthy. My mum does things like this on a regular basis 😊
I have just found out I'm an INFJ and, not knowing anything about it, I was led to your video. That was a very intimate description of me not even a close friend would have dared to give. I'm feeling very confused and exposed. Oh God, my game is up! 😂
YES YES YES! Just like that magician I have personality 'costumes' I put on depending on whom I'm around or what I'm doing. It is very possible for people from my work to not recognise me when they see me with people I know from other areas of my life. I don't have to think about which character to act, I switch effortlessly. My wife is amazed at how well I interact with people from all walks of life.
Man this gave me a lot of insights into their way of thinking. However with the minion or puppet master arch, I think two possibilities are there. 1. The INFJ is pretty well developed to get their others working towards their own vision. 2. A variant INFJ who realizes that they themself must work towards their vision and then get others involved (Fe)
You provided the most easy to understand explanation, and best real life examples, of any I have read or watched yet. Thank you. I think another INFJ description might be "quietly authoritarian". Frequently INFJ is the person in the back of the room, whispering suggestions to certain people to do certain things, and taking zero credit for it. I also realized this is why I am Amazon's best customer. Look, click, it arrives the next day. No wandering. No bagging. No buying stuff I do not need.
The example about grocery shopping is so real for me. It has happened several times that it turned out it didn't really fit the way I wanted it to at the last moment. It felt so inefficient and awkward when people noticed my struggle that I started to make my grocery lists in order from heaviest/biggest to lightest/smallest. And at first that felt really slow as well, because it took me a lot of time to put it all in the right order when I first started, and I failed as well. However, after a while I got really good at it and now I still do it every time, automatically. I made it a routine, a really good working routine 😂
I learned - when I had a concussion - that i had to visualise the supermarket, organise my groceries accordingly, and shop without being overwhelmed. But it only works when you know your grocery place sufficiently.
INFJ here. I was a job coach breaking tasks into mini tasks creating hybrid jobs at times for "mentally challenged individuals in the workplace." We are All mentally challenged I wanted to scream! I personally attack work tasks with a fervor unseen by most. I start at the end task and work backwards. I actually cluster the end work down to the beginning opposite what everyone else does affording me so much free time to think anything I wish for hours knowing the system I've created works. It works everytime. I needn't change it, share it or alter any of it because I took the initial time to ponder on all possible scenarios why it might not work lol. Sounds hard to do but INFJs do this in nanoseconds 🤣
No. I've taken several psychology classes over the years. Almost half of them at some point talk about and have the students take the test. I first took it in a high school psychology class. In college I've taken it at least two more times. My last psych professor said some people change over the years and if you had taken it before it may have changed. Mine hasn't. It's not like I take the test for funsies lol.
In tests I never have gotten INFJ, when in TI looping the tests results were INTP mostly and sometimes INTJ, after developed Fe with consciouness the tests results often were INFP. But after I studied the MBTI theory and watched some videos about INFJ I realized I am INFJ.
Accurate. I used to rehearse speeches and try to deliver them as "natural." I'm not very good at improvising in front of a large group - b/c I'm in my head so much. I also analyze the hell out of most people and many times think of all the possible outcomes prior to conversing. It sounds like a lot a work, but it's natural to us.
I just go back as needed. Go for one thing, forget that but get many things o also need but nothing i went for in the first place. We need to join forces. A book of the things help us to live our best!!! Please.
Who would want to be an INFJ? Don't get me wrong, I love who I am...but everyone should appreciate what personality they have, because that's what makes them uniquely themselves. Besides, why would you want to constantly live in a contradictory mindset...We have our perks, but boy do INFJ's have their cons.
Your observations engaged my introverted intuition is such a magnetic way. My whole brain was recreating the visual examples you gave, understanding and relating to the logic of the infjs you portrayed. I am astounded at your observations, and feel a little embarrassed that there are those who can read us so well. It is true that as an infj, I don't know why anyone else would want to be one. In spite of my glaring inadequacies, after listening to your analysis, I felt like a wind had been been placed beneath my wings to soar in my own uniqueness.I didn't want this video to end.
This video was so informative and interesting :) As an INFP I am fascinated with the INFJ, but I can't articulate why. It has nothing to do with their rarity. I am so intrigued by the way they function and I would love to personally get to know an INFJ. I want to see inside them - I want to understand them on a personal level.
Being an INFJ sucks, deadass. Yet when you are one, you feel like you need to be. Though we can be the best at bringing peace, we have to suffer just as much in order to figure out how to bring it, to the point where it sometimes just doesn't feel worth it. We are much more willing than others to suffer, which adapts to our peacemaking nature quite well, but there is still so much we can take. It's a dangerous game of standing near the edge and reaching as far as we can, and sometimes we fall. Sometimes we fall to our literal death (suicide, like when Hitler realized how wrong he was), sometimes we just scrape our knees/hands (like when a friend ends up worse than before because of you) and get back up (when you try to fix your mistake), but either way, it sucks. When we don't fall, we don't really get anything from it since all we did was fix what shouldn't have been broken from the start. We just move on like nothing happened. It sucks. The loneliness is the worst part. It almost (almost) pisses me off that I can join a group of people and feel even more lonely than before, especially when it comes to parents. You can relate to everyone else and understand them, but no one can relate to you and understand you. Hell, we can hardly understand ourselves sometimes, which brings a whole new level of loneliness to the table, to the point of depersonalization. We just can't connect with other people because of it. We don't really have friends, we just have a bunch of students and teachers that we choose to be around. People we can truly call close friends are ones that try to (and are also good at) listening and piecing together our oddities, and finding those people is unfortunately extremely rare. :( I just wish that the world wasn't so complicated. I also wish I wasn't restricted to living like the rest, where you are required to work until you are too old to work, and then you just die afterward like a resource. That does not feel good at all. I want to put my gained knowledge to use, not waste my life as a working slave to society. (Help get me out of America please I beg you)
Dude. Wow. Spot on. The loneliness is the absolute worst. Ok yeah, there are others like us sprinkled around the world, but I have no one in MY world that gets anything about me. I feel special, like super special, and I know I have gifts to use. I’m in such a dark place right now, the world is so fucked, I can’t reach my specialness.
Omg this is everything!! 👏 Truly connected with this! It’s like you were able to piece every thought in my head and write it so beautifully lol it made me wonder whether I should just settle on these “friendships”, for my sake & the sake of others, although there isn’t a meaningful connection, in order to avoid further contemplation or inner conflict within myself. But the INFJ in me wouldn’t be happy with it in the long run.
I’m an INFJ. I first did the test when I was about 15, and then again a couple of years ago when I was 21 and the result was the same so I think it’s pretty accurate. I think you’re so right about the manipulation side of things - I’ve never thought about it like that. But looking back, there are definitely times when I’ve engineered things to work out either in my favour, or to keep the peace and harmony amongst everyone around me. And I often do it without realising what I’m doing - it’s second nature.
Really a delight in listening to this you speak so well I am a fully fledged INFJ and being one all my life now a long one makes so much sense of my story. Thankyou for the details it helps a lot others miss them or gloss over so am interested in all I hear great speaking voice is important to me 😊 .
I as an infj can’t really understand why anyone would want to be one. Cause sure maybe we’re good at subtly influencing people to do the things we want sure. but even though we still seem mysterious to some people we still have that feeling portion of infj and maybe we know how to control and not show it but it can still be there on the inside. While it may be cool to have a persona in some cases you won’t make and friends that know the real you if they only know your persona. Being an infj is not being some special snowflake it’s trying not to be one blending in with people similar to you to not stand out. I’m sorry if any other infj doesn’t agree but this is my personal take on what it’s like to be one.
Hi i think every personality type has different struggles. I am an esfp. My friends know me as the funny person, the guy that can talk to everyone and so. I have many friends and many wants to be with me. But it is hard where not everyone of my friends are friends with each other and i cant be a jerk and like if am with a friend just say no i dont want to be with you. Because there is where my felling type comes in because then i know i have hurt my friends fellings. I am also very bad at school and just wants to do many things right now. So i can be unfocused at things i feel boring but focused at things i feel fun. I have also had problems with teacher because they didn’t like that i wanted to talk and not do any school subjects. So they punished me to take adhd medecine and i fellt really bad until i could stopped taking it. Now i am happier but i just wantes to say that everyone has different struggles.
OMG. The Te PolR makes sense now. I have recently moved into a new apartment and I just find myself flying from one task to another while organizing. This is also the same for sorting and keeping raw data for analysis in the lab. I'm often like: someone sort this data for me this is tedious, I'll just do the analysis. I attributed this to weak Si but your Te explanation also makes sense. And I have, a few years back, acknowledged to myself that I can be manipulative. I do it less these days, with more awareness. But I do know that certain actions get me the reactions that I want. It is extremely useful for birthday surprises though.
Thank you for this video, it was genuinely illuminating. I remember as a teenager I did the myers-briggs test, and I think I came out as INFJ then. I remember relating somewhat, but there were huge parts of the descriptions that I could not relate to, more than anything because of my lack of life experience. Now in my mid-late 20s, I have taken the test again and to get INFJ was expected, but this time the description was like looking in a mirror. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the past few years of my life, and whilst I do feel this is an accurate diagnosis it is becoming clearer to me as I get older that the bipolar fluctuations of my mental health are a reflection of my personality type and the intrinsic contradictions it brings. Recently I have felt so overwhelmed with life, disorganisation of my mind and my home, I have been striving for some mental clarity and understanding so I am more able to map out my emotions and plan my recovery. Thank you for this. Your description of your grandma reminds me so much of myself. I am starting to feel like I do have the power to control my emotions, and to make the changes I want to see in the world.
1:16 In depth psychology, INFJs have ESTP as their subconscious-so it is actually more or less a natural part of them; not something they have to go very far out of their way to craft/emulate when they wanna embody it. It's what the INFJ stereotypically aspires to be more like. But at the same time, INFJs ARE the most chameleon-esque type (followed by ENFJ & xSTPs); these types do have quite a penchant for mirroring.
@@NathanJGlass I think there is a fine line between "chameleon-esqe" and other forms of manipulation. The first is self-manipulation for the sole purpose of self-preservation in temporarily uncomfortable situations. Even this kind of manipulation is undesirable to me but I often revert to it. Purposely manipulating those around me is a big "No Way!" It's so passive-aggressive and selfish. Ick! Edit: btw, I'm an infj 😉
Who would have thought... thousands of INFJs watching INFJ videos... 👌😂 I love the INFJ life. We love to learn about ourselves, give people beautiful insights in every conversation, see through the bullshit of the world and manage to construct a beautiful life for ourselves and those around us. Met a fellow INFJ yesterday and wow... finally somebody who really listens and helps me see myself clearly. We are such a blessing 👌😁😂❤
INFJ here. In terms of organization, I spend time thinking about the objects I need to pack before I actually pack it. I visualize and simulate the packing in my head, work out the kinks ("Ah, I forgot the large item, need to put that first. Now from the top..."). Then when time comes (sometimes the day of the trip), I act out my simulation pretty quickly. The key here is giving myself enough time to think about the packing. This also works for performing in high-intensity situations and doing things that require quick reflexes. Just advice I thought might help out other INFJs struggling with spontaneous external thinking things.
Thanks Nathan for the video! As an INFJ, I want to add a point that, what I absolutely dislike from the world is inauthenticity and manipulation. If I see people with these traits, I shut them out of my life immediately without the slightest hesitation. I think I do understand a lot from other peoples minds, but it's important for me to respect the weakness of humanity: people's pain, fear, selfishness, anger etc. These are all parts of the human nature which I understand, embrace und respect. Accepting the ugliness of lives kinds contributes to my pessimistic view of the world. But it also gives me so much strength and resilience. I don't expect a lot from the outside world. Since I see so many "true faces" of life and people, I cherish the tiniest joy and beauty I receive in life. I feel like going around in life and understand peoples emotions, feelings and thoughts right away. I kinda can absorb the atmosphere of a room the moment I walk in. But using these knowledge to achieve certain goals? Absolutely no goal. Sometimes I get really angry observing some people manipulating others, and since the world is full of lies and so many people are putting on various masks, I value authenticity and honesty more than anything else.
I’m an INFJ. I despise always putting on a persona even when I don’t mean to around different people. I only feel like myself when I’m alone. I thrive off being and working on my own. A lot of my relationships have crumbled and only a few last, and when they do, I give so much of my heart to them that when they inevitably end it hurts me the most. But I do get the special snowflake card which is cool lol
I'm diagnosed an infj and when I shop I dont get stuff in order but when I bag it I segregate things orderly within that particular group whether by weight and durability or by type
Κωνσταντῖνος Δημητρίου is that right! Thanks for clearing that up! For a second I thought there might be some validity to exhibiting almost all the infj personality traits. Along with perfectionist ideals.. Broadly known as OCD.. Now that you’ve conveyed this grandeur of wisdom upon me I’ll just have to start from scratch and reevaluate my psycho analysis! Thanks for the one up! It’s always nice to have elite correction from a 1%er.
Very useful and exciting video, as usual! I have some observations. I find the shopping example misleading. On the contrary, I see INFJs organizing such tasks quite efficiently by using their intuition and being much quicker than someone who takes the tasks step by step. I also see INFJs as better than their delegates at organizing tasks because they see the guiding principle, the larger scheme, and if they follow their intuition, they are way ahead in the external world around them. They do not need all the logical steps so they save time with that. More broadly, I find INFJs to be highly spontaneous and quick in the moment when they tap into their intuition and authenticity. I would love to know how this sounds to you. Thank you!
As an INFJ, I feel like I want to be alone but I hate loneliness and I think alot about people thoughts about me and my personality changes according to people around me like Iam so quiet with strange people but with my friends Iam the most satanic demon😂😂and I think I like the idea of changing my person like this❤️
I love how no one except you has figured this out(excluding INFJ's themselves). We always put on personas around different so I fit in easier. It's so easy for us to conform.
I'm INFJ. I researched info on Ghandi for a few days straight. He was definitely INFP. He had a dominate Fi bias. Fi is masochistic - starvation fasts as protests seem like a good idea etc. His facial expressions show a lot of internal suffering like an Fi user typically has a lot of. One guy who does not get mentioned as INFJ much is Al Pacino. He said in a PBS interview on Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton that he was an introvert and that others thought he was an extrovert. I always assumed he was ENFJ until I heard him say that. His character Michael Corleone in the Godfather is INFJ in Mario Puzo's book...this is why Al Pacino was so effective as Michael Corleone in the movie.
I just had a huge insight on why people seem to constantly misread me. Even people really close to me seem to misunderstand. I always change my behavior to make them more comfortable. I work hard to be honest about myself in my speech but I still change my body language very automatically. I’ve known I’m “good at people” but it honestly hadn’t sunk in that most other people aren’t doing this at all. And they can’t see the overarching trend of my different behavior around different people. So they think that they see “me” when they see my little performance for them. To me it seems like it should be so obvious that I’m just keeping everyone comfy, that it doesn’t necessarily reflect my inner self and desires. If I’m acting like I like you-well. I just need harmony. I get really frustrated in my relationships when I notice that people have formed the wrong impression of me. Or when people say that I’m “mysterious.” I feel like I’m incredibly straightforward but I guess it’s masked under all my suaveness. I don’t intentionally hide things about myself. I literally feel like my body and mind are hijacked when another person is around; I can’t focus on myself at all anymore. All I can feel is their feelings, and I automatically make adjustments to make them more comfortable. I am drawn to people who are easy to make comfy and don’t want more from me than that. On another note, my self esteem is A+ because I feel like I can make everyone like me no matter what, and so I don’t actually value their opinions on me, only my own opinion. And I feel like I’m the only one that knows what is going on most of the time.
I think that INFJs understand why so many people would like to be INFJs at first, but they also see how , when considering the actual depth and complexity of the personality, most people would not want to be INFJs. It kinda sucks to be misunderstood especially when you crave harmony and understanding from others.
as an infj, i agree with everything here with the exception of organization. i think that might be just particular to me because i use organizations as a means of control. i love lists and often make them for anythings, knowing how to prioritize what comes first and what comes last. perhaps you've miss-perceived this about infj's? somewhat similar but different, my weakness is being handed a list of things that i don't know about. if i'm told to do tasks that i've never done before, then i absolutely will mess it up one way or another. i, and other fellow infj's, need to know all aspects of what we are doing. your grandma needed to know how the party was going to play out in her head before it started. hence why she was prepared to get you to get presents and hence why she was able to act as she did so smoothly at the party. this is our need for knowledge and honestly, our subtle need for control. we like to anticipate what is to come and how it will play out between people so we can counteract any negatives situations that may arise. perhaps some messy unhealthy infj's are bad at lists. but i'd like to believe those of us who are healthy infj's, have a deep fondness for making lists, organization, and order. if you think about it to, being organized and good with organization would give us the appearance of "oh, they know what they are doing" which allows us to get closer to someone because they trust us and trust our abilities. it allows us to manipulate them, in a good way, to help them as we often like to help others, or at least get put in that role constantly. overall, i really did enjoy your video and what you had to say. i had been looking forward to you making a video on infj's for a while now! so thank you! keep up the good work. you have a deep sense of those around you and good critical thinking and i really appreciate that about you. have a lovely weekend.
I have watched quite a lot of your videos, especially relating to the INFJ, so, when I was wondering if I had seen this one before, I clicked on it and saw that I hadn't liked it, so that's how I knew I hadn't watched it yet lol! Edit: your grandma sounds like a nice (and funny, in a compliment way) person!
Been waiting for what felt like forever for this ...! And I couldn’t agree more, we are master manipulators but definitely not for personal gain, but we are always striving for what we have idealized as the best outcome and scenario for “the people” and yes, I call myself a chameleon many times, BUT, that in itself is an exhausting trait to carry- hence the deep need of recharge very very much alone. We also absorb others feelings which doesn’t help the chameleon esque ways of embodiment. I have, been able to connect deeper with my Se though, and hone it much better then maybe expected. I work with my hands and environment in a very direct and tangible way. but yes... minions are great, except, it can make an infj come off as lazy and bossy. Being an infj is absolutely awful at most times, I try hard to find myself in other types to feel more normal and apart of society. I personally feel most introverted types FEEL left, out on the outskirts of life, BUT most don’t carry the heavy contrast in every thought and feeling as infjs do... It’s been an intense ride 🤙🏽
I enjoy the advice as well as being an advice giver myself. As an INFJ, with ADHD & clinical depression. I find life very difficult and I am 52 years old now. As much as I have an insight on other people in the world itself, I still haven’t figured myself out. Please do not wish that you identify with being an INFJ just because you think it sounds cool. Some days, I just want to stay in bed and sleep all day long. Actually, LOL. That’s pretty much all I do, with this stupid Covid thing going on. The Sheeple out there make me go crazy. But I digress. I am an autodidact and consume myself with research every waking hour. Some days, I don’t know what day it is or month. I know there’s something wrong with me, and it’s making me go crazy. I wish I could find someone that can counsel me. So yes, thank you for your insight. As I am receptive to any type of information on the matter.
Mentoring/"manipulating" was accurate hahah If you know where you want to go, and I know how you could get there, expect subtle nudges. I immediately start focusing on mindset and starting sowing a specific mindset required to get to or have what they desire. Whether or not they follow through I don't really care, most don't, but at least I planted the seeds that can be harvested later.
As an INFJ, I feel like the absent-minded professor. I’m extremely skilled at analyzing outcomes and planning for future events and seem very intelligent when it comes to conversations about abstract concepts and ideas. But when it comes to even simple tasks involving real-life things, like unscrewing something or remembering I have to eat, I have no idea what I am doing. It’s endlessly frustrating being able to plan effortlessly for any scenario and have control over everything but have sensory tasks that happen every day like eating and doing dishes hit me like a truck every single time while I have a panic attack not being able to make sense of it all
Ive been to numerous therapists and psychologists throughout my life, myself and the professionals could not figure out what i was. They ended up diagnosing myself with a personality disorder. Only now have I discovered this and i feel you describe my secrets. The only way I can describe what it's like to others, which a newly trained therapist pointed out during one session, is that it's extremely tiring. You get sick of the thought process and become envious of 'normal' people.
Been obsessing over Jungian psychology for like a solid *week* now, trying to determine my type *once and for all.* Today, I am settled with being torn between INTJ and INFJ. I pack like this: First, I pull out the bags. Then, I zoom through rooms and drawers in a zig-zag kind of way, picking up items and placing them on top of the bags as I go. I'll sit down and do something else for a while, realise what I've forgotten, repeat the process. Enter: pile of stuff on top of bags (to avoid "largest item last" problem). Then I lay it all out on the floor or on top of the bed, sit down, and view it all like a big puzzle to solve. It's kind of fun. But it doesn't sound very Te/INTJ... 😂 But I can't say I really *want* to be INFJ... Sounds like a lot of work... Your INFJ description really makes me think of Dumbledore; he's making all of the plans, but a little kid's gotta do it! Even though he himself is a master wizard!
Funnily enough I was just talking about Dumbledores type, he does seem to be an INFJ overall but as is often the case with fictional characters they don't always fit neatly into standard categories. In the later films he comes across as being much more pragmatic, almost like an INTP or ENTP. So I do have a video on here about INTJs vs INFJs comparing them. Feel free to check that out and see if it helps! ~ Nathan
Get to know the real you with mindmymind - dub.sh/lovewho
I want every one to like me.
Every one actually does like me even when i just meet them.
Then i want them all to leave me alone.....
1122 you guys just described me holy shit
😂🤣😂🤣
stephen s I feel you hahahahha
Yes!!! Too funny as it is way too true!
Oof that hit hard. If this ain’t me
As an INFJ, you kinda don’t wanna be one... it’s very confusing as you understand everyone but no one understands you (or do you think)! At the end of the day you feel lonely all the time often comforted by your thoughts and self as you are the only one that truly understands you!!
yeah!
Is that not a consequence of not really revealing yourself, at least as is typically the case with infjs? They usually show a lot of Fe, but usually are very private otherwise?
Trust me, no one wants to be you.
klj788986sbb Good
I’m an INFJ as well, and I completely agree. Sometimes people think it’s cool to act like one, but in reality they have no clue. (sorry if this was weird, not in the best state of mind to be able to type but it’s whatever)
The self-obsession has to be the worst part of being an INFJ. It’s so difficult to get out of your head.
@Price Check On VagiClean no, I want it out of my head.
True.
Same, sometimes I step back and think not everyone has to experience this amount of self introspection and overthinking and wish to turn it off to experience what everyone must be feeling.
@@vigiantitanudjaja1364 I think I found a way to turn off the introspection temporarily by getting entirely immersed into Se, but I noticed that every experiences like that are really shallow. As much of a curse as the introspection is, I think it almost serves as like an early headstart in maturity.
I think the Ni-Ti loop is to blame for why the instrospection becomes a stressful burden.
It's because we're addicted to thinking about ourselves. We are a big puzzle to solve but it feels like none of the pieces fit very well together. Even if an INFJ would try to figure themselvs out fully they'd eventually return to self obsessing after a while. It's a loop haha.
as an INFJ I just realized I manipulate situations without even realizing it. oops
sal ty and its worse when you see it happen and don’t know how to reverse it 🙊🙈
@@DanielLopez-tz8sx ikr
sal ty
And yet INFJs commonly parrot that their victims of “sociopaths”. A bit contradictory?
@@zain4019 I guess? I don't rlly know what ur trying to say
eye-
I feel so tired after a long day of understanding people and completely unconsciously changing my personality. Anyone else feel this tiredness?
Absolutely. Yesterday I was in bed the entire day cause I felt so confused about what I was actually feeling just because I spent the day with two people and one of them was extremely depressed which manifested itself in him being negative about every topic discussed. I was in pain and had to listen to binaural healing beats all day just to feel normal again.
Always
Hahah yes I have never noticed why before. I burn so much energy when having gatherings and have to take a break on my own for a few days or more to recover 😅
I don’t know how old you are, but it takes a while to find grounding in who you are. For me journaling and being extremely vulnerable with people I trust have helped me grow. Oh my faith as well. You can’t get past the deeper meaning of life thoughts lol
I feel like the humans don't understand themselves, so how can the understand the INFJ? I no longer hope for anyone to "get" me. I actually find it comical when someone attempts to know me.
I’m an INFJ, I don’t like noise, and every time a random person walks up to me the first thing that pops out my mind is “The Audacity”.
😂. Omg same! And half the time I question myself "what's wrong with me??? I'm nice!"
Lol omg as an enfp i would be that random person who comes up .
Yes!
Hahahaha that made me laugh so hard 😂😂
me af
Funny how we INFJs are rare but no one who is an INFJ wants to be one THE IRONY!
exactly! I hate it!
Yeah it's a curse.
This guy gets it
This shit blows. Tbh
It sucks 😭
INFJ? - In a psychologist session there's not one psychologist, but two.
Haha, brilliant! ~ Nathan
Ikr!!
We don't open up to the psychologist. The psychologist opens up to us ^^
No, there's one because I know better than them anyways. XD
This is too accurate lol. I'm currently seeing a therapist (for the same personality disorder that comes with being an infj-t) and Im asking him questions as if Im the therapist.😁
as an infj i’m terrified that i won’t want to settle down with someone and get married but i want a family so bad. i’m a walking contradiction. help
You’ll be fine, I have faith! ~ Nathan
Lol a few days ago I was thinking the same thing
Olivia Miller - As an older female INFJ, I think it is especially important for us to pick the right partner, since we are known for our pickiness. Ime, avoid the ESTP and the INTJ at all costs. ENFJ, ENFP, and ISFP can be good matches, imo. Go after what you want, so you don't end up with "what if?" when it's too late.
@@meagiesmuse2334 How do i even explain to a significant other that I have inner dialogue?... Constantly over thinking and deep in thought about something that dosen't matter. Will they even understand me? Or pretend to know what it's like and say, it's okay. And then we grow apart because I sense she dosen't understand, or isn't capable of understanding at no fault of her own?
@@BenefitExploits - Good question, and I wish I had a better answer. I have been married to an ISFJ for 34 yrs. He lives in the present and thinks going over and over things that cannot be changed is a waste of time. He says I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, so just move on. I just tell him honestly what I am obsessing about, and he is sympathetic, but says he does not do that. I think N types should be with other N types, if possible, but if not, you just have to accept that you are different and try to find friends you can talk to about this issue. We will all pick people who are flawed, just as we are, so to me the question is whether we can stand to live with this particular set of flaws...
Giving advice to the advice givers.. what could go wrong... hope you enjoy it!
O.M.G my mind just exploded. I feel like i understand myself better now after your short video more than ive worked out myself in 40ish yrs!! And it's really hard being an INFJ in the world, it's sometimes like looking at a friend/colleague/ stranger and seeing subtitles scrollling over their faces (like reading their mind) while the words they are actually speaking don't match up. And INFJs are thinking "is anyone actually buying this crap??really? Cant you tell this person is lying"? And you totally nailed the facade thing. I do this ALL the time, i feel like im a different version of myself depending on who im with. Sometimes Im not sure who the real version of me is. But im constantly changing to reflect to others what they want or need from me to make things better or life to go smoother. I can read ppls "levers" and automatically push them for everyones best interests. I've been thinking im an awful fake person all these years. This video is a huge RELIEF...weight off my shoulders. Because im an INFJ this is normal. Thank you.
The grocery example was spot on. That is exactly how great I am with my PoLR Te haha
Nathan Glass I don’t 100% disagree with the way you describe INFJ but I honestly try my best to not interfere with Free Will. I want people to make their own discussions because that person is gonna know what they want most. I’ll tell someone that’s my opinion and how I see it. If someone is needing advice or help with a situation. I don’t like to change people of who they are rather I would be more like what do you need and how can I help. I would let that person make their final choice for their own well being, not on what I want.
@@marianney7644 wow fuck, this comment is on point.
@@mr.midnight8090 Truth.
I am COMPLETELY mystified why anyone in their right mind would want to be an INFJ personality type. I'm a 57-year-old INFJ and for the most of this life, I have merely observed, not participated, choosing to reside in my head, not in reality. I have never married and most of my relationships are short-lived and end badly. I've left so much relationship carnage and confusion behind me in my life, I've lost track. As much as I try to live in the present, I without fail end up back in my head in a Ni-Ti loop. This process in itself can drive a person insane. I find it impossible to trust anyone completely and only feel safe when I'm alone in my home with my dogs. Being INFJ is torturous and isolating and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The only time I'm able to have any facsimile of fun is when I morph into another personality type, using my chameleon abilities to fit in....that's usually when the comedy kicks in.... but the aftermath of that is usually profound loneliness and realization that I'm unable to truly connect to anyone. Still want to be me? No. It sucks, I promise you.
@@NathanJGlass I always knew I was different because kids treated me like an outcast. Looking back now that was probably because I stared a lot. I was brought up in a dysfunctional family who labelled me as shy and basically just left me to my own little world. I barely spoke but no one questioned it. As far back as I remember, all I did was observe other people, endlessly reading their behaviours,....adults, kids, teachers. I was around 12 when I divulged to my Mom that I didn't belong on this planet, ... no questions were asked, no doctors contacted, my parents just sent me outside to play alone and told me not to be silly. My thoughts were too obscure and abstract for them and when I did finally speak I was usually met with 'don't be ridiculous'. I would describe things in colours, shapes and textures rather than regular descriptive words and everyone thought that was hilarious. I remember once, a man came to our house, a work colleague of my Dad's. Later I told them that he made me 'prickly' ....literally that's what it was, a prickling sensation on my skin....and they all just laughed and told me not to be ridiculous. I was young. It turned out later he was a horrible man, quite the violent criminal. I was finally typed on the suggestion of a teacher at 18 but all was dismissed soon after graduation and I was just labelled 'sensitive' or 'psychic' by family and friends because I seemed to know a lot and would have dreams that appeared to be premonitions etc. It was only when I was older and started to communicate with my Mom in adult language and told her I had a 'library of reference material in my head', did she begin to realize I was different. It was a horribly lonely childhood though, just awful, spent in my mind, socially frozen, trying my best to morph into the crowd and stay quiet so as not to be noticed. As I said, I wouldn't wish my 'abilities' on anyone. These TH-cam INFJ videos have been an enormous relief to me though, knowing that there are others like me .... a huge relief. To be INFJ without explanation or anyone else to relate to without a lot of eye-rolling isn't a fun life at all.
@@sksbc3895 I know that feeling. I went through some of the stuff you went through as a child. I did not know I was an INFJ until I turned 40. I feel better now as an adult, due to the amount of information out there on INFJ. However, I am using my INFJ to my advantage now...
@@Womenswell022 How do you use it to your advantage?...and how do you manage with relationships?
Welcome to my world.
Me too i've been predicting things and most of it happens, and i get a lot of 'how do you know???? I never told you that...and im like...emmm its so obvious to me, even if you dont say it. I just realize that now, in my 40 that im an infj, i've read patterns all my life, been wondering why ceritain people reacts this way, and some people dont. In a group conversation, i'm automatically observing people reactions to stories....i thought everybody does that😄. I just realize im the only one.
Luckily as an infj i learn fast from my mistakes. Especially when i know i need to love my self first before suceeding in love life. So i learn to accept my self, my flaws, my uniqueness, and be happy in my own skin first. Then, not long from that, im marrying my husband and Happily married for 15years with 2 beautiful children.
I wish you love and all the best in life. You can try a self love eft practice, gratitude affirmations, or mirror technics. Good luck 😊
As an INFJ, when I came across another INFJ, I felt so naked. My subconscious created no certain way for me to behave. Like, it was then that I realized how extremely different my multiple personalities are and how they shift depending on who I am around. So I’m left wondering, “who am I, really?”
Exactly!!!!!
I usually befriend the outgoing types, if they make me feel comfortable and take the lead in conversation I can just listen and understand / give advice and 'normal' people who aren't us will happily talk about themselves all day so it works out perfectly... Until after a while you realise you know almost everything about them and they no nothing about you. Lonely
I've always thought of it like being a mirror in front of a mirror. Indefinite releflections. But know that I am getting older I can better control my insecurites and decide not to go into that "mental state"
That moment when you catch someone looking at you and then both of you stare at each other waiting for a reaction and nothing happens. A blank mirror. I think these people must also be INFJ when I notice them. I feel like they are doing what I’ve been doing. I’ve never managed to have a relationship with another INFJ because neither of us know how to express ourselves without prompting.
A “psychic” tried to read me once and said there was nothing there and that I was blocking her somehow. I was offended, 😂. There is so much there. It’s just not about me. All my thoughts are modeling other people.
On my own my thoughts just boil down to like, abstract brushstrokes. I can observe myself as a character but I can’t be present in my own thoughts.
Same!!!!
I'm a INFJ and I have a problem where I make and create a different persona for all people. I Will be acting completely different to all my friends and to the public to a point where I question who I really am you know I think it's just a INFJ thing
Edit:
Thank you so much for your lovely comments and feed back I love reading your opinions and experiences I honestly thought no one would relate or understand❤❤✨
*Update a year later:*
After learning more about typology and MBTI reading my comments makes me cringe on why I thought INFJ’s acted this way it was nothing to do with astrology nor water things lmaoo when you first get into MBTI or any typology theory you easily get influenced by others anyways with that said this is the answer to my own comment.
INFJ’s are people pleasers especially because of their Fe. They are called mirrors for a reason they mirror the actions of the people around them to fit their liking a form of people pleasing. Ni-Fe relationship is complicated it likes things to be under control and dislikes conflict. To be a chameleon it satisfies both by a lot.
So the answer is extrovert feeling.
A user with Fi would not be inclined to fall into this because they value their own ideas, and self but a Fe users don’t tend to have strong opinions and when they do is usually because everyone around them do.
sounds like a pisces too, whats your sign
@@sugaloveCAFE I'm a ♈ ARIES sun my moon sign is Taurus and my rising is Capricorn s yeah but I loveeee my Pisces alot most of my favorite are Taurus Aquarius or Pisces!✨💜
@@darlenek.acosta2241 aries control the mind, i know a lot of aries who do that also until somebody light that fire than aries will come out , love . check out your life path number too and you will get a better understanding too
@@sugaloveCAFE ah yeah I heard of that. Thank you so much and I will for sure 👍🏼✨
DARLENE K. ACOSTA
I DO THE SAME THING WTF around some of my friends I drink and stuff and around my other friends I act like I never drank or smoked or any of that lmao
Lol why does anyone wants to be an infj, it's not fun and has disadvantages as much as advantages, it's only great when you develop your functions and find balance, which works wonderfully for any type :)
@manager-nim I've used positive manipulation in a far more complex manner than youre 'shopping' example - that being said it was the foundation of this reply (coz I'm trying to sound arrogant). Although my actions impacted each and every link in a chain events which lead to the most positive outcome - listening to the hearts of the people involved rather than words, everyone now lives happily ever after. However, being well over a year since this incident, i haven't yet fully recovered from the mental and emotional fatigue I brought upon myself- I necessary sacrifice I suppose. But I can't explain my guilt. So in regards to 'positive' manipulation and with all due respect, maybe I could derive an answer of my own if you could elaborate on your innocence...
agree so much i wish i was any other personality than infj..................;there is nothing special about us just a lot of pain loneliness and being misunderstood all the time....................;;it's not fun!!
@Death To Diaper Ghouls I have, but I learned that I have more important things in life than just worrying about mankind because we're screwed either way and won't be saved so I chose to focus on my life instead
To other INFJ'S who's reading this comment: don't feel bad or upset about your personality... Being an INFJ is also fun. It has good and bad sides just like any other personality type it's just that INFJs are quite rare as they say.being able to read other people, being very observant with our surroundings, being be able to adjust to our environment and not be able to fully understand ourselves, lol. I mean isn't It fun? We can be whoever we want to be and still be cat loving, solitude longing introverts at the end of the day.
☝️
Entering the mind of INFJ is not a good idea. Pandora's box.
ENFPs are a walking paradox as well 🤪😅
As an INTJ with an INFJ best friend I like the Pandora box
I find strangers disclosing the deepest darkest secrets to me after knowing them for a few hours. They even look at me in shock and continue with, "I've never told anyone that before".
My god yes.
I'm an INTJ and I still get that. hoomis are weird, bleh.
Correct. Same here.
Relate😅
Sometimes in just a few minutes. It's like "Why the eff are you telling me this?"
People are unbelievable, does this just happen to me?
I'm glad I belong to a group experiencing this, out there, somewhere, on the web.
gotta love how all the comments under the video start with "i'm an INFJ", as if it's the introduction round in an AA meating
🤣
Lmfao 😂
I'm an INFJ, thanks for having me at this AA meeting.
I said hi ... I'm an alcoholic, still.
: )
Too funny ! 🤣🤣🤣
As INFJ becomes healthier, she/he will care more about their Fi and be more authentic and positive. May you guys develop to be a full-filled person who values and embraces yourself, finds out what is worth living for, solves every drawback of your personality one by one and live it up. Good things take time. Don't give up. Good luck!
INFJ don't have FI? They have Fe
@@giuliarizzo344 all the more reason for them to develop Fi ;)
@@purplemind93 You can't develop a function that you don't have.
@@giuliarizzo344 you can!
@@giuliarizzo344 infj's do have Fi!! Just not as intense as Fe... And if we focus on our very little Fe it would help us in many situations!
I’m an INFJ that would love to share the truth of the world with everyone, that most everything in the world that they know is a lie, but their lack of dot connecting abilities leaves me.......
I feel you. 💯
I don’t want to label myself, but from everything I’ve watched and read, I feel I am an INFJ. I have no idea what those letters mean, and I don’t really want to know. I just know I’m very different from most people and I’m fucked up in the head. And feel alone, very alone.
Z P - I agree with you about the labeling, no one should be contained in a box, especially with all the life choices and experiences plus other unknown factors that make up a person. Look up vids about “old souls” and see if you have similarities. Awakened people are going to feel lonely when most people retain their child side and stay in the comfort of the game. Stay strong, you’re here!!
What truth is that? Me curious
I've spent year not understanding why people can't connect the dots that I see.
All i can think is Dumbledore and how he gets everyone to do the work. He’s just managing it all
YES! I am so fascinated by that too... - INFP
And also gay
All this shade for one of my faves 😭
I thought it was good that book 7 made a point to address how complicated he was for all the good he did. He neglected ppl he loved and put his work first, even willing to sacrifice others for the cause. Dark side. But without the work he did, every muggle-born may have died, and Harry wouldn’t have lived to tell the tale. And plus, you KNOW he be working behind the scenes. 😅 he got himself killed and managed to keep most of our favorite characters alive...
Author Eryn Blaire - Crafting Characters who was shading Dumbledore? Lol
Literally thought about Dumbledore when he made that comment! even before seeing your comment...
I’ve never felt so understood in my life. Watching this made me very emotional.
That's amazing to hear! ~ Nathan
“Having minions just makes things easier.” INFJ here, and you have just given me a wonderful idea. 😂
The problem with kids is the long "incubation" time before they can actually serve as a proper minion...😉
But I tend to micromanageeeeee
now I understand why my husband keeps calling me a minion . I've been suspecting he's an infj.
🥸
Same
"Dark horses" *Ahahahahah nooo, funny, but we're not like that xD*
_he's onto us, whack him when he's not looking_
ikr 😂
Shhhhh too obvious. Just pretend to be clueless.
*bad poker face*
En Igma
Ppffft yeah we're so fun and super quriky ahahahahahahahahhahahahahyeah...
*Whack*
not funny!! but it's true we are not like that!!!
I am an INFJ, we were born sages for everyone else, and a mystery to our own selves.
Manipulation depends on how much we value freedom and then applying that thought to others. I believe manipulation could be the INFJs greatest weapon, but we truly become wise sages when we don’t use it on others.
“Soft subtle power” ~ that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. Thank you. :)
Spot on
Yes. It is unbelievable easy (if the recipient hasn't got the same iq as you at least). Sometimes I am thinking: Ok, I seemed to selfconfident there, better show a bit of insecurity in order for them to better like me and "this guy is taking up too much space, I better indicate to the group that I don't approve of him" - and then they too will start to question him. It's not pretty when you say it out loud.
Accurate. Eep!
Why can't we know ourselves
Imagine being an INFJ with depression, anxiety and addiction...
Edit : Thanks for the likes , makes me feel understood.. We can win this battle!
Ya got one right here buddy
Depression and anxiety here. It's hell but, one of Carl Jung's quote comes to mind. "For a tree to reach heaven, it's roots must reach down to hell."
Its not easy with depression, but it is able to be handled. Pretty rough, but possible
Oh gosh...as in INFJ, I fell ya
Me, Me, Me.
The part with the "soft and subtile power" hit hard. I have always been super-shy as a kid. People would always question my quietness and ask me why would I want to be so quiet and isolated. I was the quiet observer in class, but all my friends knew that when I spoke it was powerful. Even my teachers began to say that I had a "quiet strength".
I've seen it many times from INFJs! Being able to exert that influence behind the scenes or from the shadows even is very much an archetypical INFJ thing. Hope you enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan
I have just learned to keep my mouth shut, smile, and nod. The wasted energy I have spent in my life being an INFJ when I could have just been living in the moment.
Mary Ann I’m trying to do that more often & well I have been doing it. I just kind of lose that control at times, but at the same time it’s not really me losing control. I get a feeling at the back of my head that says no, but I just end up saying or doing it anyway.
I Must express my opinion...it kills me but i dont want to live in my head...i DON'T
Sometimes it’s better to just accept along to promote harmony, but when things call for it, we gotta speak up. Maybe make meaning out of a pointless life. Give it a purpose, just so we can move towards something. Let’s see how much I’ll listen to my own advice bye :/
“They need the protagonist to do the adventure part of the story.” This. Thank you.
Glad you found it accurate! ~ Nathan
Just like Dumbledore and Harry potter's relationship ig xD
@@taetay_love2772 yeah!
@@taetay_love2772 and Dumbledore is INFJ ☺
@@monikacigerova6850 yess!! Looks like we are king maker type 😌
"Why would anyone want to be one" 😂😂 that hit home
Imagine what we infjs can do.
That's why part of me is scared of me.
Acess Emanez i chuckled, glad you feel the same way about yourself i as i feel about me 🤣 sometimes i either think i could be a genius or somethings wrong with me lol. INFJ with 50/50 left right brain dominance ... not fun
I couldnt really deal with the fact that part of me is THAT DARK, so to cope I turned my dark side into a character named Beth. Beth is a manipulative sociopath that is extremely vengeful and resentful, but hides it scarily well. I don't like Beth, but I probably would have become her if I had different parents.
Being an infj feels like not being fully able to be anyone while being able to be everyone, complication at its peak
I really love your type videos. They have a artistic feeling to them.
"Dark Horse" I'm an INFJ and an Aries. Imagine the whirlwind in me haha. The more I read into INFJ and see others talk I find comfort in my personality. I've never realized how different I am until videos like this point it out. The worst part of INFJ is the insane expectations I place for myself and the perfectionist that comes with it. Feeling failure or the inability to complete this goal or meet this expectation is an emotional hell.
It's intriguing.
I am an INFJ Aries as well! Odd combo, isn't it? I struggle with those same high expectations and perfectionism. It's okay to lower the bar a little-being able to make it over can give you a nice little boost of motivation.
I “craft” a persona when I meet someone new and can’t escape the situation. Like my most extroverted self. But when I’m the midst of my true friends that persona doesn’t come out.
As an INFJ it's not fun at all, I find I often confused people they find me hard to read and it makes socializing really awkward they don't know how to label me and it makes things uncomfortable apparently I don't behave how I'm expected to 😂 can I just live 🤦🏻♀️
Just be you. Others perception of you isn't your responsibility. We have no control over others idea of us, we might as well be our most authentic self.
i'm INFJ and i have been single for my entire life for obvious reasons :/
I'm a 33 infj and yes still single too..😂 my family are freaking already and pushing me to get marry real quick.. I am judged s being too picky and having high standards when in fact i am not.. i'm just looking for a person i can connect to..
@@emdhie777 It's like looking for one ant in a whole group of them
Make friends with a male entp and see where that goes.
Me too!!
@@hamzawertani7379 exactly
6:45 Truer words have never been spoken. I find the INFJ personality burdensome and wish I was something else...i.e. INTJ etc.
No, u don't want to be INTJ, I am one, believe me
@@amitshete1132 why do you say so?
agree it's hard to be infj and when you see a video like that it make you feel like a bad person all around!! i am going to watch a Scott Morgan video he is himself an infj and explaine with a lot of kindness how we function!! i recommand him to infjs!!!
Naamy1989 I’ve met several INTJs, oh my, they don’t like talking about feelings, especially male INTJs. It’s unknown teritory for them. Lol. & they don’t really know how to have casual conversation, they wouldn’t know how just to enjoy small talks. Another flaw, they will say things as it is, doesn’t matter whether it offends the person, not because they want to hurt the person though, it’s just their habit, not aware that what they say will offend people. But INTJ are excellent employees though! Very efficient & they get the job done!
If you're not an INFJ, you can't become one. You can take advice and learn from us, but this is a part of who we are. I'm not trying to be harsh, but many people think that just because they're introverted, they must be an INFJ, aka, The Rarest Type. Just be yourself. We're all unique in our own special ways.
People just need to take the test. Than answer the questions honestly. I recently stumbled upon the discovery of MBTI. Before even taken a test, I only researched the descriptions of an INTJ, or INTP.
Now the test. I took it twice to re-evaluate myself. And both times it said INFJ-A. Of course, you have the percentages too. I didn’t even know what that meant. Or it being the rarest. Which the INTJ is rare too.
After doing research on this indicator type, from multiple sources. It is fairly accurate. Really cool. I only keep seeing comments about how deeply INFJ’s feel, but *INFJ’s are very logical too.* Both are combined. I know I do. I’m highly intellectual, but sensitive. I’ve read how the INFJ type, is the only one to really use both. My intelligence is subjective, yet objective. I see myself, than look beyond myself.
_Edit:_ Also, people need to realize there is different gradients of introversion. Attached with other aspects of an indicator type.
@@empyrean196 I think it's better to compare Cognitive Functions then do actual tests
Your sike
I would never go to the lengths your grandmother did for that birthday party. Not even close. That sounded more like isfj behavior. I also don’t wonder around the grocery store or put zero thought into packing a bag. But, I get what you were trying to say.
David Kepke Same. I thought that example sounded more ISFJ, as well. Also Te PoLR example was off. It’s more like believing the truth of something, despite there being no “objective” evidence (Te) to prove your claims. Think astrology, dream interpretation, or conspiracy theories.
pressedinabook I have an ISFJ wife who does things like the grandma story with her mom and I call her out on it.
Also, Infj will most always revisit a belief with new, hard data and see their own mistake in their thinking, and change their outlook. I stopped believing in any veracity of astrology in 9th grade. In fact, I can’t ever remember believing in it.
Ne leads are definitely more methodical in their approach, but well developed Ti can appear like Te. Thats why there are probably just as many infj’s in STEM than the arts.
i agree with the the grocery store thing not applying to infjs but man ohhhh man i hella would go to the lengths her grandma did to make sure everything was solid for the birthday party. heck, tomorrow actually, i have a friends birthday party at my house and i've already set up my living room with a mattress neatly and everything since we are going to be watching movies. and ive gotten all the materials i have to make her cake. everything is clean and ready so tomorrow will be as much fun as it can be for her and our friends.
lila k I get you on that, but buying presents for someone and telling them they were from someone else? That’s a bridge too far.
@@davidkepke1435 okay I see what you're saying. I think right now, being 21 and young still and not as experienced with life, I'd find some difficulty in buying presents for someone but having someone else say they did. but well. I'd do it for my little sister. id give her money to buy things for someone, and help her with what to buy. I think it's more of a motherly adult figure thing. his grandma doesnt need the presents to be from just her, her goal is that her son, his dad, has a good time and feels loved and appreciated. and shes willing to do that by helping her grandson get the presents. if you think of it as trying to keep order and her making her son feel loved, perhaps you can understand why she did what she did? and how other driven infjs would do the same? :)
I like how you instantaneously change shirts in the middle of the video :D
@@NathanJGlass oh my gosh
wow, I didn't even notice that 😅
What sorcery is this??
I didn't even notice that
I doubt any infj would notice that...
I am an INFJ and I just want to say you have a beautiful manner of speaking objectively and attaining a balance between facts and opinions. It is easy to see you are very bright. Crazy how you said some of the internal thoughts and processed of mine I haven't been able to put into words...the manipulation thing whilst maintaining the best interests of both parties.... I thought no one knew about that. Hehe. Keep up the great work!
As an INFJ...I like solitude, quietness, rainy days and one to one intense conversations😂
We also do like solving people's issues and figuring people out😂that's true...keeping some of the relations intact😂
The grocery part is quite relatable😂
Well...being an INFJ is a blessing and a curse...so being the rarest type...is actually not really good in a way😂
My sis is an INFJ, she’s super intuitive & sensitive to what others think of her. I think the FJ plays into her perfectionism & her fixation on what others think of her. But she’s great at understanding others (she’s a therapist & a good one). As an INFP, I appreciate how deeply she thinks & her intuition :)
I agree with your perspective and liked hearing about your experiences. (pretty certain most INFJs would agree...) You have a gift - keep em’ coming!
Thank you! ~ Nathan
I’ll say with certainty that your Grandmother is an INFJ. She had clear foresight to successfully play out internally and then through experience concoct a simple solution through methodical instructions to avoid future conflict.
I would say I've done this on some occasions including this birthday scenario just swap the couch for sitting in the kitchen with a nice cup of tea or a red bull depends on who I'm dealing with.
I can understand some INFJs (perhaps younger ones) see this as manipulation in all negative sense of the word as in essentially taking away the free will of the person but it’s in a positive more productive way which would be to influence the manipulation falls more into the persuasive side with the plain language used to make it clear this is a choice.
If you’re a trusted and respected INFJ to the person they’d surely trust the suggestion knowing the thought given and follow-through they know there is a benefit here and the fact you’re stepping in it’s for good reason and not malicious ones so communication is key (having an authentic persona would make it easier). I can imagine sharing a personal story to encourage the action/gesture but not one to promote guilt that would be too much.
When you mentioned your Grandmother hadn’t even left the couch was what made me burst with laughter and totally convinced me down to the picture requests. The truth gift back is if in 12 months you do this all yourself, intentionally with your own flair because you actually wanted to do so. I'd shed a tear.
I’m sure she’s diverted countless conflicts. She’s a True Class Act.
I think it's also a granny thing that comes from lifetime of managing household, raising children and grandchildren and keeping everybody happy and healthy. My mum does things like this on a regular basis 😊
Yes , it is confirmed by me that being an INFJ is real shitty , but not many of you would understand
I have just found out I'm an INFJ and, not knowing anything about it, I was led to your video. That was a very intimate description of me not even a close friend would have dared to give. I'm feeling very confused and exposed. Oh God, my game is up! 😂
I love your take on this. Your approach is very poetic, respectful, and elegant. Well said and very correct.
Thank you! ~ Nathan
YES YES YES! Just like that magician I have personality 'costumes' I put on depending on whom I'm around or what I'm doing. It is very possible for people from my work to not recognise me when they see me with people I know from other areas of my life. I don't have to think about which character to act, I switch effortlessly. My wife is amazed at how well I interact with people from all walks of life.
Man this gave me a lot of insights into their way of thinking. However with the minion or puppet master arch, I think two possibilities are there.
1. The INFJ is pretty well developed to get their others working towards their own vision.
2. A variant INFJ who realizes that they themself must work towards their vision and then get others involved (Fe)
Please, no more new members of the INFJ club, otherwise we lose our special snow flake status 🤣
@@NathanJGlass exactly. Incase they're INFPs!!!!
@@supersarah5673 lol! This had me rolling xD
Matt Haha, thank you
ENTP here, most INFJs in TH-cam are not really INFJs because Ni-dom mistype
Anyone who wants mine can have it.
You provided the most easy to understand explanation, and best real life examples, of any I have read or watched yet. Thank you. I think another INFJ description might be "quietly authoritarian". Frequently INFJ is the person in the back of the room, whispering suggestions to certain people to do certain things, and taking zero credit for it. I also realized this is why I am Amazon's best customer. Look, click, it arrives the next day. No wandering. No bagging. No buying stuff I do not need.
The example about grocery shopping is so real for me. It has happened several times that it turned out it didn't really fit the way I wanted it to at the last moment. It felt so inefficient and awkward when people noticed my struggle that I started to make my grocery lists in order from heaviest/biggest to lightest/smallest. And at first that felt really slow as well, because it took me a lot of time to put it all in the right order when I first started, and I failed as well. However, after a while I got really good at it and now I still do it every time, automatically. I made it a routine, a really good working routine 😂
I learned - when I had a concussion - that i had to visualise the supermarket, organise my groceries accordingly, and shop without being overwhelmed. But it only works when you know your grocery place sufficiently.
INFJ here. I was a job coach breaking tasks into mini tasks creating hybrid jobs at times for "mentally challenged individuals in the workplace." We are All mentally challenged I wanted to scream! I personally attack work tasks with a fervor unseen by most. I start at the end task and work backwards. I actually cluster the end work down to the beginning opposite what everyone else does affording me so much free time to think anything I wish for hours knowing the system I've created works. It works everytime. I needn't change it, share it or alter any of it because I took the initial time to ponder on all possible scenarios why it might not work lol. Sounds hard to do but INFJs do this in nanoseconds 🤣
You’re a clever man. How the hell did you figure that out lol. Its supposed to be secret.
I love hearing others analyze my personality type. I've taken the personality test many times, and every single time I have gotten INFJ.
what is your life path number
No. I've taken several psychology classes over the years. Almost half of them at some point talk about and have the students take the test. I first took it in a high school psychology class. In college I've taken it at least two more times. My last psych professor said some people change over the years and if you had taken it before it may have changed. Mine hasn't. It's not like I take the test for funsies lol.
In tests I never have gotten INFJ, when in TI looping the tests results were INTP mostly and sometimes INTJ, after developed Fe with consciouness the tests results often were INFP. But after I studied the MBTI theory and watched some videos about INFJ I realized I am INFJ.
Accurate. I used to rehearse speeches and try to deliver them as "natural." I'm not very good at improvising in front of a large group - b/c I'm in my head so much. I also analyze the hell out of most people and many times think of all the possible outcomes prior to conversing. It sounds like a lot a work, but it's natural to us.
I agree with everything except the grocery list, shopping without a direct route, and the bagging.
I just go back as needed.
Go for one thing, forget that but get many things o also need but nothing i went for in the first place.
We need to join forces. A book of the things help us to live our best!!! Please.
Who would want to be an INFJ? Don't get me wrong, I love who I am...but everyone should appreciate what personality they have, because that's what makes them uniquely themselves. Besides, why would you want to constantly live in a contradictory mindset...We have our perks, but boy do INFJ's have their cons.
Im infj....why would anyone want this blessed curse?
Your observations engaged my introverted intuition is such a magnetic way. My whole brain was recreating the visual examples you gave, understanding and relating to the logic of the infjs you portrayed. I am astounded at your observations, and feel a little embarrassed that there are those who can read us so well. It is true that as an infj, I don't know why anyone else would want to be one. In spite of my glaring inadequacies, after listening to your analysis, I felt like a wind had been been placed beneath my wings to soar in my own uniqueness.I didn't want this video to end.
This video was so informative and interesting :) As an INFP I am fascinated with the INFJ, but I can't articulate why. It has nothing to do with their rarity. I am so intrigued by the way they function and I would love to personally get to know an INFJ. I want to see inside them - I want to understand them on a personal level.
As an infj, i confuse people a lot. At one time, i show i like them and other times, i completely ignore them. Why i like this💆🏻
That emoji really made me laugh! ~ Nathan
Being an INFJ sucks, deadass. Yet when you are one, you feel like you need to be. Though we can be the best at bringing peace, we have to suffer just as much in order to figure out how to bring it, to the point where it sometimes just doesn't feel worth it. We are much more willing than others to suffer, which adapts to our peacemaking nature quite well, but there is still so much we can take. It's a dangerous game of standing near the edge and reaching as far as we can, and sometimes we fall. Sometimes we fall to our literal death (suicide, like when Hitler realized how wrong he was), sometimes we just scrape our knees/hands (like when a friend ends up worse than before because of you) and get back up (when you try to fix your mistake), but either way, it sucks. When we don't fall, we don't really get anything from it since all we did was fix what shouldn't have been broken from the start. We just move on like nothing happened. It sucks.
The loneliness is the worst part. It almost (almost) pisses me off that I can join a group of people and feel even more lonely than before, especially when it comes to parents. You can relate to everyone else and understand them, but no one can relate to you and understand you. Hell, we can hardly understand ourselves sometimes, which brings a whole new level of loneliness to the table, to the point of depersonalization. We just can't connect with other people because of it. We don't really have friends, we just have a bunch of students and teachers that we choose to be around. People we can truly call close friends are ones that try to (and are also good at) listening and piecing together our oddities, and finding those people is unfortunately extremely rare. :(
I just wish that the world wasn't so complicated. I also wish I wasn't restricted to living like the rest, where you are required to work until you are too old to work, and then you just die afterward like a resource. That does not feel good at all. I want to put my gained knowledge to use, not waste my life as a working slave to society. (Help get me out of America please I beg you)
Dude. Wow. Spot on. The loneliness is the absolute worst. Ok yeah, there are others like us sprinkled around the world, but I have no one in MY world that gets anything about me. I feel special, like super special, and I know I have gifts to use. I’m in such a dark place right now, the world is so fucked, I can’t reach my specialness.
Omg this is everything!! 👏 Truly connected with this! It’s like you were able to piece every thought in my head and write it so beautifully lol it made me wonder whether I should just settle on these “friendships”, for my sake & the sake of others, although there isn’t a meaningful connection, in order to avoid further contemplation or inner conflict within myself. But the INFJ in me wouldn’t be happy with it in the long run.
@@annasmith4156 Everything is a tough decision for an INFJ, unfortunately, but that's how we roll. Glad I could help with something.
I’m an INFJ. I first did the test when I was about 15, and then again a couple of years ago when I was 21 and the result was the same so I think it’s pretty accurate. I think you’re so right about the manipulation side of things - I’ve never thought about it like that. But looking back, there are definitely times when I’ve engineered things to work out either in my favour, or to keep the peace and harmony amongst everyone around me. And I often do it without realising what I’m doing - it’s second nature.
Really a delight in listening to this you speak so well I am a fully fledged INFJ and being one all my life now a long one makes so much sense of my story. Thankyou for the details it helps a lot others miss them or gloss over so am interested in all I hear great speaking voice is important to me 😊 .
The „Outsourcing the Se“ part had me laughing out loud because of the accuracy 😂
Lol
I as an infj can’t really understand why anyone would want to be one. Cause sure maybe we’re good at subtly influencing people to do the things we want sure. but even though we still seem mysterious to some people we still have that feeling portion of infj and maybe we know how to control and not show it but it can still be there on the inside. While it may be cool to have a persona in some cases you won’t make and friends that know the real you if they only know your persona. Being an infj is not being some special snowflake it’s trying not to be one blending in with people similar to you to not stand out.
I’m sorry if any other infj doesn’t agree but this is my personal take on what it’s like to be one.
Hi i think every personality type has different struggles. I am an esfp. My friends know me as the funny person, the guy that can talk to everyone and so. I have many friends and many wants to be with me. But it is hard where not everyone of my friends are friends with each other and i cant be a jerk and like if am with a friend just say no i dont want to be with you. Because there is where my felling type comes in because then i know i have hurt my friends fellings. I am also very bad at school and just wants to do many things right now. So i can be unfocused at things i feel boring but focused at things i feel fun. I have also had problems with teacher because they didn’t like that i wanted to talk and not do any school subjects. So they punished me to take adhd medecine and i fellt really bad until i could stopped taking it. Now i am happier but i just wantes to say that everyone has different struggles.
OMG. The Te PolR makes sense now. I have recently moved into a new apartment and I just find myself flying from one task to another while organizing. This is also the same for sorting and keeping raw data for analysis in the lab. I'm often like: someone sort this data for me this is tedious, I'll just do the analysis.
I attributed this to weak Si but your Te explanation also makes sense.
And I have, a few years back, acknowledged to myself that I can be manipulative. I do it less these days, with more awareness. But I do know that certain actions get me the reactions that I want. It is extremely useful for birthday surprises though.
Thank you for this video, it was genuinely illuminating. I remember as a teenager I did the myers-briggs test, and I think I came out as INFJ then. I remember relating somewhat, but there were huge parts of the descriptions that I could not relate to, more than anything because of my lack of life experience. Now in my mid-late 20s, I have taken the test again and to get INFJ was expected, but this time the description was like looking in a mirror.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the past few years of my life, and whilst I do feel this is an accurate diagnosis it is becoming clearer to me as I get older that the bipolar fluctuations of my mental health are a reflection of my personality type and the intrinsic contradictions it brings. Recently I have felt so overwhelmed with life, disorganisation of my mind and my home, I have been striving for some mental clarity and understanding so I am more able to map out my emotions and plan my recovery.
Thank you for this. Your description of your grandma reminds me so much of myself. I am starting to feel like I do have the power to control my emotions, and to make the changes I want to see in the world.
1:16 In depth psychology, INFJs have ESTP as their subconscious-so it is actually more or less a natural part of them; not something they have to go very far out of their way to craft/emulate when they wanna embody it. It's what the INFJ stereotypically aspires to be more like.
But at the same time, INFJs ARE the most chameleon-esque type (followed by ENFJ & xSTPs); these types do have quite a penchant for mirroring.
@@NathanJGlass I think there is a fine line between "chameleon-esqe" and other forms of manipulation. The first is self-manipulation for the sole purpose of self-preservation in temporarily uncomfortable situations. Even this kind of manipulation is undesirable to me but I often revert to it. Purposely manipulating those around me is a big "No Way!" It's so passive-aggressive and selfish. Ick!
Edit: btw, I'm an infj 😉
Ahhh you’re reading my mail! But actually it’s quite nice to be understood for a few minutes.
Who would have thought... thousands of INFJs watching INFJ videos... 👌😂
I love the INFJ life. We love to learn about ourselves, give people beautiful insights in every conversation, see through the bullshit of the world and manage to construct a beautiful life for ourselves and those around us.
Met a fellow INFJ yesterday and wow... finally somebody who really listens and helps me see myself clearly.
We are such a blessing 👌😁😂❤
Great stuff. I laughed out loud at your Nan still being on the settee. That is so me too. The whole video resonated big time.xxxx
Thank you! That's great to hear ~ Nathan
INFJ here. In terms of organization, I spend time thinking about the objects I need to pack before I actually pack it. I visualize and simulate the packing in my head, work out the kinks ("Ah, I forgot the large item, need to put that first. Now from the top..."). Then when time comes (sometimes the day of the trip), I act out my simulation pretty quickly. The key here is giving myself enough time to think about the packing. This also works for performing in high-intensity situations and doing things that require quick reflexes. Just advice I thought might help out other INFJs struggling with spontaneous external thinking things.
Thanks Nathan for the video! As an INFJ, I want to add a point that, what I absolutely dislike from the world is inauthenticity and manipulation. If I see people with these traits, I shut them out of my life immediately without the slightest hesitation. I think I do understand a lot from other peoples minds, but it's important for me to respect the weakness of humanity: people's pain, fear, selfishness, anger etc. These are all parts of the human nature which I understand, embrace und respect. Accepting the ugliness of lives kinds contributes to my pessimistic view of the world. But it also gives me so much strength and resilience. I don't expect a lot from the outside world. Since I see so many "true faces" of life and people, I cherish the tiniest joy and beauty I receive in life. I feel like going around in life and understand peoples emotions, feelings and thoughts right away. I kinda can absorb the atmosphere of a room the moment I walk in. But using these knowledge to achieve certain goals? Absolutely no goal. Sometimes I get really angry observing some people manipulating others, and since the world is full of lies and so many people are putting on various masks, I value authenticity and honesty more than anything else.
I’m an INFJ. I despise always putting on a persona even when I don’t mean to around different people. I only feel like myself when I’m alone. I thrive off being and working on my own. A lot of my relationships have crumbled and only a few last, and when they do, I give so much of my heart to them that when they inevitably end it hurts me the most. But I do get the special snowflake card which is cool lol
I laughed at how true your observations are. The part where she didn’t leave “the comfort of her couch” killed me. You’re spot on! 😂
I'm diagnosed an infj and when I shop I dont get stuff in order but when I bag it I segregate things orderly within that particular group whether by weight and durability or by type
That's called OCD
Κωνσταντῖνος Δημητρίου not funny, dude
Κωνσταντῖνος Δημητρίου is that right! Thanks for clearing that up! For a second I thought there might be some validity to exhibiting almost all the infj personality traits. Along with perfectionist ideals.. Broadly known as OCD.. Now that you’ve conveyed this grandeur of wisdom upon me I’ll just have to start from scratch and reevaluate my psycho analysis! Thanks for the one up! It’s always nice to have elite correction from a 1%er.
Me 2 and the cashier one time thanked me for doing it because its easier for her to bag the items.
She gave you the money and information , not for your father's sake but so that you could have a success at said task of attending birthday party.
When the Creator created them, He did it with His own perfection in mind. ✌🏼
Very useful and exciting video, as usual! I have some observations. I find the shopping example misleading. On the contrary, I see INFJs organizing such tasks quite efficiently by using their intuition and being much quicker than someone who takes the tasks step by step. I also see INFJs as better than their delegates at organizing tasks because they see the guiding principle, the larger scheme, and if they follow their intuition, they are way ahead in the external world around them. They do not need all the logical steps so they save time with that. More broadly, I find INFJs to be highly spontaneous and quick in the moment when they tap into their intuition and authenticity. I would love to know how this sounds to you. Thank you!
As an INFJ, I feel like I want to be alone but I hate loneliness and I think alot about people thoughts about me and my personality changes according to people around me like Iam so quiet with strange people but with my friends Iam the most satanic demon😂😂and I think I like the idea of changing my person like this❤️
That first sentence
@@P03ticJustice?
@@stevenmagdy2062 I like being alone but hate loneliness and I think ALOT
Yeah we have always great conflict and antinomy in our heads :D
I love how no one except you has figured this out(excluding INFJ's themselves). We always put on personas around different so I fit in easier. It's so easy for us to conform.
I'm INFJ. I researched info on Ghandi for a few days straight. He was definitely INFP. He had a dominate Fi bias. Fi is masochistic - starvation fasts as protests seem like a good idea etc. His facial expressions show a lot of internal suffering like an Fi user typically has a lot of.
One guy who does not get mentioned as INFJ much is Al Pacino. He said in a PBS interview on Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton that he was an introvert and that others thought he was an extrovert. I always assumed he was ENFJ until I heard him say that.
His character Michael Corleone in the Godfather is INFJ in Mario Puzo's book...this is why Al Pacino was so effective as Michael Corleone in the movie.
I just had a huge insight on why people seem to constantly misread me. Even people really close to me seem to misunderstand.
I always change my behavior to make them more comfortable. I work hard to be honest about myself in my speech but I still change my body language very automatically. I’ve known I’m “good at people” but it honestly hadn’t sunk in that most other people aren’t doing this at all.
And they can’t see the overarching trend of my different behavior around different people. So they think that they see “me” when they see my little performance for them.
To me it seems like it should be so obvious that I’m just keeping everyone comfy, that it doesn’t necessarily reflect my inner self and desires. If I’m acting like I like you-well. I just need harmony.
I get really frustrated in my relationships when I notice that people have formed the wrong impression of me. Or when people say that I’m “mysterious.” I feel like I’m incredibly straightforward but I guess it’s masked under all my suaveness. I don’t intentionally hide things about myself.
I literally feel like my body and mind are hijacked when another person is around; I can’t focus on myself at all anymore. All I can feel is their feelings, and I automatically make adjustments to make them more comfortable.
I am drawn to people who are easy to make comfy and don’t want more from me than that.
On another note, my self esteem is A+ because I feel like I can make everyone like me no matter what, and so I don’t actually value their opinions on me, only my own opinion. And I feel like I’m the only one that knows what is going on most of the time.
I think that INFJs understand why so many people would like to be INFJs at first, but they also see how , when considering the actual depth and complexity of the personality, most people would not want to be INFJs. It kinda sucks to be misunderstood especially when you crave harmony and understanding from others.
Can we take a moment to appreciate the lovely piano intro nathan made for the video? It gives me a strange kind of comfort.
Glad to hear that you like it! If you check out my Nathan Glass channel you’ll hear the rest of my piano music too! ~ Nathan
as an infj, i agree with everything here with the exception of organization. i think that might be just particular to me because i use organizations as a means of control. i love lists and often make them for anythings, knowing how to prioritize what comes first and what comes last. perhaps you've miss-perceived this about infj's? somewhat similar but different, my weakness is being handed a list of things that i don't know about. if i'm told to do tasks that i've never done before, then i absolutely will mess it up one way or another. i, and other fellow infj's, need to know all aspects of what we are doing. your grandma needed to know how the party was going to play out in her head before it started. hence why she was prepared to get you to get presents and hence why she was able to act as she did so smoothly at the party. this is our need for knowledge and honestly, our subtle need for control. we like to anticipate what is to come and how it will play out between people so we can counteract any negatives situations that may arise. perhaps some messy unhealthy infj's are bad at lists. but i'd like to believe those of us who are healthy infj's, have a deep fondness for making lists, organization, and order. if you think about it to, being organized and good with organization would give us the appearance of "oh, they know what they are doing" which allows us to get closer to someone because they trust us and trust our abilities. it allows us to manipulate them, in a good way, to help them as we often like to help others, or at least get put in that role constantly.
overall, i really did enjoy your video and what you had to say. i had been looking forward to you making a video on infj's for a while now! so thank you! keep up the good work. you have a deep sense of those around you and good critical thinking and i really appreciate that about you. have a lovely weekend.
I have watched quite a lot of your videos, especially relating to the INFJ, so, when I was wondering if I had seen this one before, I clicked on it and saw that I hadn't liked it, so that's how I knew I hadn't watched it yet lol!
Edit: your grandma sounds like a nice (and funny, in a compliment way) person!
Been waiting for what felt like forever for this ...! And I couldn’t agree more, we are master manipulators but definitely not for personal gain, but we are always striving for what we have idealized as the best outcome and scenario for “the people” and yes, I call myself a chameleon many times, BUT, that in itself is an exhausting trait to carry- hence the deep need of recharge very very much alone. We also absorb others feelings which doesn’t help the chameleon esque ways of embodiment. I have, been able to connect deeper with my Se though, and hone it much better then maybe expected. I work with my hands and environment in a very direct and tangible way. but yes... minions are great, except, it can make an infj come off as lazy and bossy. Being an infj is absolutely awful at most times, I try hard to find myself in other types to feel more normal and apart of society. I personally feel most introverted types FEEL left, out on the outskirts of life, BUT most don’t carry the heavy contrast in every thought and feeling as infjs do... It’s been an intense ride 🤙🏽
I enjoy the advice as well as being an advice giver myself. As an INFJ, with ADHD & clinical depression. I find life very difficult and I am 52 years old now. As much as I have an insight on other people in the world itself, I still haven’t figured myself out. Please do not wish that you identify with being an INFJ just because you think it sounds cool. Some days, I just want to stay in bed and sleep all day long. Actually, LOL. That’s pretty much all I do, with this stupid Covid thing going on. The Sheeple out there make me go crazy. But I digress. I am an autodidact and consume myself with research every waking hour. Some days, I don’t know what day it is or month. I know there’s something wrong with me, and it’s making me go crazy. I wish I could find someone that can counsel me. So yes, thank you for your insight. As I am receptive to any type of information on the matter.
"Having minions just makes things easier." Love it!
Glad you agree! ~ Nathan
Mentoring/"manipulating" was accurate hahah
If you know where you want to go, and I know how you could get there, expect subtle nudges.
I immediately start focusing on mindset and starting sowing a specific mindset required to get to or have what they desire.
Whether or not they follow through I don't really care, most don't, but at least I planted the seeds that can be harvested later.
I don't have issues organizing. I like being as efficient as possible. I suppose I've developed Te. I dunno.
Maybe you are an isfj? Or istj? Or intj?
I am an INFJ, was typed in high school. The actual MBTI test. And I do those things you talked about....lol:) Lovely video!
@@NathanJGlass You're most welcome:)
"INFJ is one of the most rare personality"
Literally the whole comments section: I'M A INFJ
.... It's an INFJ video. it makes sense for them to watch it and comment on it. Of course the cohort of INFJ's will be higher given the variables.
this is an infj video...honestly why would other people click on it if they aren’t infjs..doesn’t makes sense to me
@@Leticia-rc2lf because they are interested in other types, too, not just their own
also INFJs like to think and dissect and understand things. And type... a lot.
Nicholas H exactly
As an INFJ, I feel like the absent-minded professor. I’m extremely skilled at analyzing outcomes and planning for future events and seem very intelligent when it comes to conversations about abstract concepts and ideas. But when it comes to even simple tasks involving real-life things, like unscrewing something or remembering I have to eat, I have no idea what I am doing. It’s endlessly frustrating being able to plan effortlessly for any scenario and have control over everything but have sensory tasks that happen every day like eating and doing dishes hit me like a truck every single time while I have a panic attack not being able to make sense of it all
So you have an Intp nan and Infj nan ? Lucky guy :)
@Amey Tiwari same, except the entj is my older sister and it's hard to sit 5 minutes with her in the same room
Ive been to numerous therapists and psychologists throughout my life, myself and the professionals could not figure out what i was. They ended up diagnosing myself with a personality disorder. Only now have I discovered this and i feel you describe my secrets. The only way I can describe what it's like to others, which a newly trained therapist pointed out during one session, is that it's extremely tiring. You get sick of the thought process and become envious of 'normal' people.
Been obsessing over Jungian psychology for like a solid *week* now, trying to determine my type *once and for all.* Today, I am settled with being torn between INTJ and INFJ. I pack like this: First, I pull out the bags. Then, I zoom through rooms and drawers in a zig-zag kind of way, picking up items and placing them on top of the bags as I go. I'll sit down and do something else for a while, realise what I've forgotten, repeat the process. Enter: pile of stuff on top of bags (to avoid "largest item last" problem). Then I lay it all out on the floor or on top of the bed, sit down, and view it all like a big puzzle to solve. It's kind of fun. But it doesn't sound very Te/INTJ... 😂 But I can't say I really *want* to be INFJ... Sounds like a lot of work... Your INFJ description really makes me think of Dumbledore; he's making all of the plans, but a little kid's gotta do it! Even though he himself is a master wizard!
Funnily enough I was just talking about Dumbledores type, he does seem to be an INFJ overall but as is often the case with fictional characters they don't always fit neatly into standard categories. In the later films he comes across as being much more pragmatic, almost like an INTP or ENTP. So I do have a video on here about INTJs vs INFJs comparing them. Feel free to check that out and see if it helps! ~ Nathan
I pack just like this. I am a bit more systematic than INFJ’s are typically considered, but I am making an effort and writing lists all the time.