@@VixeyTeh What a great idea. We're usually our own, which takes a lot more work than to help other people out. It's a lonely task. Wish I had other INFJ friends.
Tired of you "INFJs" holding back and not accepting your greatness.... infjs are humble in character but courageous in action. infj people are wise beyond anything I've ever seen being able to see behind someones social mask and pick them apart like a scientist in record time. infj people have this unique psychic ability to predict situations based on current trends alone scary but good scary.... experienced adaptable patient sincere just justified honorable generous diplomatic tolerant and long-suffering is the"infj" I sincerely love y'all
Very rare that I see a "non INFJ" ( perhaps? ) write something like this. Really feels like true, no-bullshit shallow validation that hits home. Thank you!
My husband is INFJ and I am INTP. 25 years of marriage has taught me to trust his judgment implicitly. He is an inspiring man of unfailing integrity and everyone adores him. In his late 40s he became a chaplain to the Royal Marines. Never has a man been more well-placed in a role. Royal Marines are not famous for loving chaplains but they are lining up at his door. I think INFJ makes beautiful characters.
Wish my ex wife would have trusted me you you trusted him she had very intrusive controlling and manipulative parents that didn't want to share her time and constantly tried to get rid of me by any means necessary all I ever ask her to do was cut them off for 2 weeks to get them to stay out of our marriage and leave me alone and she refused the whole 17 years even said once I'm not abandoning my parents and tried to act like I wanted her to cut them off forever she ended up leaving me after I stopped asking her to do it and started demanding she did after they were caught for a second time reading my text messages in my wife's phone the first time they were caught was the second time they called the police on me lying I wasn't going to sit around and wait anymore for that blind squirrel to find a nut and end up dead or in prison
Recently, someone told me that my quiet strength is to leave someone better than they were before, and wishing I would return. This was a disarming compliment, and was confirmation to my core value to love others well even if reciprocation or validation aren't present. Thank you for this video, Nathan. Take care.
That is indeed a great compliment to receive, I think it's an accurate one for INFJs. That part you mentioned about not expecting reciprocation is such a big deal and it's very rare indeed ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Nathan, thanks for your reply. The need for reciprocation is there in some form, but I understand why it doesn't happen, so it is why I don't hold others to that standard. It has been a difficult lesson to be sure.
I used to go to therapy for my depression and at one point I was getting the therapist to tell me his story and why he became a therapist and what his bad habits were, felt like I was the therapist. I was giving him insight and ideas that even he was amazed. Such a weird yet funny experience 😂
Great video! I would like to add something to the "The Empowerer" part. I think INFJs know that while their abilities to be someone else's empowerer come easily to them, it can be very difficult for them to be their own empowerers for several reasons. They might not believe the advice they give themselves or feel that the subjectivity behind it cannot warrant a good result etc... Sometimes they can be disheartened by that because they feel that they lack the type of support which they offer others. I think mature INFJs who have a high level of self awareness can try to include their own selves among those they empower. This would enable them to take that extra step to accept that they are able to give advice to themselves and believe the advice.
The true art of mentor-ship, teaching or guiding is to make the student self-sufficient. Another word for this is "kindness". Mr Nathan, you are amazing
@@Andrei15193 Yes, right, that is why it is kind. It focuses on the student, building the student up in their (the student's) own eyes. But it can't be done unless there is genuine interest. Faking will not cut it. And believe me, children know the difference. Everyone does.
HIGHLY attuned to other people's emotions. Sometimes I can't tell when my emotions are my own or someone else's. Mentioned this to my INTJ dad and he's like 😐 ".....that's a thing?"
"Ni boils a person down to their essence, often in the form of an archetype". Yes, I like this. That's exactly how my desire to figure people out feels, once I can connect that feeling of "they are the type of person who..." with them, it's like suddenly I know who they are and what they'll do next.
It's almost like a superpower of even hack to quickly size a person up. Often 'intuitive insights' are ultra quick yet accurate approximations ~ Nathan
Do you also see psychopaths everywhere then? I have become so adept at figuring people out that I can usually diagnose a personality disorder, psychopathy, or lack of either, within a few minutes of observing them in person or through social media.
Your tricks have backfired Nathan, all that talk about INFJs not knowing their own emotions apart from others have made me resistant to that emotionally manipulative intro haha! It's honestly very nice to see someone who acctually more or less understand INFJs on this level :)
I’m an INFJ and all of this is very true. Especially how we influence others subtly and being so empathic that we literally feel the other persons emotions. We see opposing views and opinions and still fully understand the other persons perspective and intent. Love your videos. My INTJ best friend even feels your videos are dead on, which is quite a compliment coming from an INTJ as you know lol.
I've struggled a lot with my own personality, I'm so focused on understanding other people my whole life I've never really bothered looking at myself. People tell me "you are in more control than you think". Yeah, tell me that. Not only now am I trying to understand others, I'm also trying to understand myself. This involves stupid amounts of self-reflection. I'm in constant analysis of my own behaviour. Now I just don't know what option is really mine or whether it was subconsciously influenced by something else. After all, we are just an amalgamation of all our experiences and the people we've met on the way; as are they.
"Knowing yourself" in every sense is just about the hardest thing we have to do. Simply the fact that you're even trying puts you way ahead of the game. I hope that some of our stuff helps you in any way! ~ Nathan
INFJs compared to open waters: "They're just waves on a windy day", response "Nooooo, they are the tide that raise the sea, beware of the ones who lower it."
I have a nephew , who is an intj and i am an infj- He and I get entangle in conversation that others begin to tune out, zone out and wane away- although the Enfp family members and my infp neice can hang on pretty well at times - the infp better than the Enfps, whom seem to drift due to the need for movement more than any other reasons - I think they need to pace about to collect their thoughts as often they come back to the conversation with comments that seem to have just been generated - (as an infj I also enjoy a long walk and a long car ride to do the same)
I am a INFJ and I am married to an INTP, and I must say, out of all the personality types out there I feel the INTP understands the INFJ best. Excellent video as always!
INFJ's are also typically what is known as a HSP (hyper sensitive person) and I'd love to see you do a video that incorporates the science behind HSP's and INFJ's/empathic people. Mirror neurons play a big part in this!
There was this new girl hired at our workplace yesterday. I didn't hear her say a word when i saw her - she was only listening what to do. But then there was this one moment when she spoke to tell her opinion. At that very moment my mind was like: "OH, she is that type of person, good to know". It took me literally seconds to know her character: I felt that she was stressed but she was hiding it under fake confidence. It's good though, because she made good first impression on everybody. I could feel she felt lost though. She will fit in, but she need good guidance. Any form of negative critique would make her question why she decided to work here. If the co-workers will be supportive she will feel good here. That's all she really needs. Yes I'm an INFJ. Don't judge the book by the cover" they say. But I did not judge her by her look though. I judged by her emotions and behaviour, her expression, the "vibe" she gave, how she respond, react.
"Human Whisperer" -- I like that. AsuraPsych has touched upon this about INFJs as well. There is a stunning beauty in being able to help others in such a way to access an insightfulness about themselves; often, those we help may not even recall WHO it was that helped them. The subtle beauty of being invisible. Now as for mutual relationships/friendships, it is a bit different. It's good to see but also be seen. I still think it's wonderful to understand more than to be understood. For it is in giving that one receives and it is in losing one's life that it is found. (Obviously, use wisdom with this and don't be a doormat. Shining one's light is empowering to others; our example is most impactful)
Tbh, it’s a beauty that annoys me! Show me your bare core -_- ! *sorry for the aggressiveness, sorry* -intj being a bit honest Ps: I don’t mean you as a person but as an infj, and of if you don’t wish to reveal anything; it’s least appropriate that, you don’t. Have a good day.
Instantaneous understanding of others and their struggles, and then benevolent and gentle “reprogramming” begins. Intense drive to enlighten others to their own power and potential. In purest form, no ulterior motive whatsoever.
As an INFJ, I enjoy your understanding of the INFJ, and your candid humor about us. You are spot on with “soft power.” Once at a dinner party, an astute businessman, (a self-made Billionaire,) casually observed as he said to me, “Yes...you are the consummate Velvet Hammer.” It remains my favorite compliment.
One thing I’ve always noticed and always appreciated is that when I meet someone and I hear how they talk or watch what they do, I immediately compare that to a character on a tv show or to someone I’ve met who acts just like that and it tells me who I want to be around who I should just stay silent around.
To make the student self sufficient, for them not to need me, is the exact goal for me, the ultimate ideal. How are you so perfect at these summarizations?
As an INFJ, I am so amazed at the insight you wield. I am older, and so I understand myself and how I work and how I find myself guiding, or rather, how others come to me for guidance. I find it mind boggling that you can speak so precisely on such matters. Amazing content and channel. Always a joy to see a new video show up from you.
Whenever I see someone is a musician (which I'm assuming is the case from your profile pic?) I feel compelled to say: "Definitely put yourself out there and make some TH-cam videos" - so there's my low key pushy response of the day ~ Nathan
(INFP) I'm in love with an INFJ. Oddly enough, I have nothing to seek her council for. Perhaps I've done enough self work to not warrant needing it. It gives her room to breath and just be. Something I doubt she is allowed the luxury to feel during the course of her regular life. I can see her staring off distantly between sentences and thoughts at times, then returning with waves of insight and a path forward! I allow her to think out loud without judgment and in turn she allows me to be passively validated. Imagine that, two introverts appreciating each other non directly. As an INFP, I've accepted my lot in life. This is the IDEALIZED version of a partner I have/will ever come across in life. Even though (as a healthy INFP) know this is not the truth necessarily, I'd be damned if it wouldn't be one of pinnacles of life if it didn't come to fruition. Lu/Nathan, thank you for allowing us the space to rant. - P
Wow, your self awareness is impressive! My husband is also an INFP, and we have a very similar relationship. I hope your partner appreciates how great you are, and how fortunate you both are to have found one one another. You stated it perfectly when you said that she is your idealized perfect woman, and you know you’ll never find anyone who’s a better match for you. Once we, as INFJs can accept this(it’s actually very rare that anyone ever experiences this type of relationship), we become so much happier. I think a lot of men who claim to be, or believe they are, INFJ are actually INFP. INFPs have tons of intuition and empathy, but they don’t have as much as an INFJ. However, an INFP will listen to and appreciate the insights of his INFJ partner, even if he can’t fully understand where she’s coming from. He won’t tell her she’s crazy when she says things that seem very out in left field, and he doesn’t think she’s crazy for saying them. And a mature INFJ will make her partner feel amazing, and build his confidence in a way he cannot do on his own. If they have children together, they are likely to be grow up to be some of the most well adjusted people on earth. Edit: I’m actually curious if you may be very INFJ leaning. It seems that INFP men aren’t generally as considerate as you seem to be. My husband types as INFP, but last time he tested, he was about 51/49, P/J.
@@katieandnick4113 Hi Katie. Since having written this, I've been professionally typed as an ISTP. The girl in my rant I believe is ISTJ. The self awareness and seeking for another deep soul hasn't changed at all though. (smile) It's nice to read about what you and your husband have and share.
2.28. The best thing I heard you say about INFjs. This is 100% "me", and what I want for people. They shouldn't need me or anyone else "long term". Just a "guide", empowerer (my own word in this particular comment!) indeed.
What a great word that says so much. The British still speak English unlike Americans. The Brits actually have an intelligent vocab and they use it. Where did we go wrong? Hah
@@madisonaubrey6076 Yes I am an INFJ. What a fascinating type to be. Lonely at times but fabulous to have the gift of insights and intuition. I can't believe your name. My name on Twitter was Madistone.... and of course there is our last name. Unreal. Are we twins? 😎 😅
"The Empowerers", I like that a lot. I think that fits the way I operate best. I often try to help people find who they truly are and make them reach the potential I see in them. I love to see them get on a roll and start making some real accomplishments in their life that make them feel empowered. It doesn't happen as often as I would like but I have helped some people make some real leaps. Excellent way of explaining that my brother. 👍🕊️🌌🤙
You know, this somewhat make sense. I've had conversations with people where I would share my views on a topic and later, I will hear those very same people (during other conversations) talk as if that was originally their thought process/belief. This has always mystified me and leaves me feeling a little underappreciated...so it helps knowing that they are not doing this consciously!
Feeling the Fe "vibe" is just something that happens; there's no helping it (automatic). But the preference (at least for me) is to spend more time and attention in analyzing (Ti). I personally resonate with third function being my preferred (compared to second), but the second function serves as the "authority" (responsibility) that keeps the third function "in check"
That makes a lot of sense, the Fe seems to be an automatic and effortless thing. It's interesting that you mention your preference for your Ti, in the Objective Personality typing system they have so called "Jumper Types" who value their first and third functions more. Might be worth looking into if you haven't already ~ Nathan
@@lovewho I read a ~little~ about the Jumper types. But after months of wondering why it's possible, I came to a conclusion that maybe Jumpers are more introverted (if they're introverts) than the rest do. I personally am more of an Ni-Ti person (INFJ) and Idk if that Ni-Ti Loop they call is what I do most if the time when I "try" to solve problems or questions on my own. Idk what I'm talking about. Hahahahelp
@@lovewho I have! :D Dave and Shan have pointed out several very interesting and helpful aspects in expanding type analysis, even though I don't agree with a few details in their system... (it's still very helpful with understanding the intricacies of cognitive functions)... I would definitely be a "jumper type" (Ni/Ti). Fe is a point of responsibility, not usually an area of comfort. It's like I feel compelled to "attend" to Fe, or it is employed, seemingly automatically. >Matt< Love your channel, man --> ALWAYS EXCELLENT! ^_^
I have seriously struggled finding the right way forwards, Teacher, Leader, Educator, Instructor etc. NO, Guide. I did discover this recently, but you have solidified this. it feels incredibly right. very true and resonates in a very specific way. Much appreciated
A box full of thank you cards from individuals that were once part of my life's journey, helped them figure out their problems during that time and letting them continue (setting them free) on in their life's journey.. The card of appreciation usually comes much later as a surprise after their realization of what happened and how a difference was made in their life..
Hope to see more on INFJ man. You are very insightful on "us", unlike most, in a special way. I could have hours of discussions with you on these matters, and probably more if you were a fellow Swede.
INFJ here. People think I spew words of wisdom every single time I open my mouth. They don't know that I talk to myself and "rehearse" my conversations ahead of time.
Nate appreciation comment: I like the combination of hair and shirt. And it was already time you made an INFJ video. Despite having several out there, it is much better when you make them, since you always do a great job on pleasing my Ni-Ti-Fe with extremely logical insights on people patterns. Some would say it is the Genius of Nathan.
Resisting the urge to sing the 'Kangkan Krishna Sarma Pegu Song' but thank you very much. Hearing positive feedback from people who know their stuff feels great! ~ Nathan
INFJ here. Deceitful, manipulative behavior is my #1 peeve. I cannot stand people who display verbally abusive tactics or people who play mind games to get their way. I’ve learned that sometimes people don’t even realize they’re being manipulative, but I can sense even the smallest trace of it-whether the person is conscious of it or not-and I am completely unwilling to let this behavior slide. I will not be coerced, nor will I allow the people around me to be. I will call it out. And if the behavior continues, it is the fastest route to a permanent door slam.
as an infj imma make a damn good psychologist one day. but that day isn't today, because I'm so burnt out and I don't feel like myself or these powers very strongly at the moment. It's easy to be there for others until you feel like you have nothing left to give. but thank you for this video, it's a reminder that that part of me is still there even if somehow hidden right now haha
Life is all about finding the essence of things and what makes them great. From the skyscrapers to the tiniest organism it all seems like a sympathy constantly playing the world around me.
late to the party but recently discovered your channel and binge watching. Excellent content, keep it up. I am working on maturing my INFJ strengths and proclivities. What I have found to be very helpful in balancing is: 1 - not internalizing and feeling responsible for everyone's feelings (this does not apply to my friends and family, the important relationships). I mean my barber telling me everything that is going on while they cut my hard. This has been really hard but very liberating and powerful on days I get it right. I don't stop empathizing or caring about others. I just stop feeling responsible for everyone's feelings in the room. I still listen, consult, and help to the best of my abilities but now I don't spend an hour helping someone then another hour ruminating and stressing on their negative feelings and how I should've done this or that differently. 2 - just getting started with stuff and not being a perfectionist. I don't know everything and have everything planned to study or develop a new talent. I know enough to get started and will learn along the way. This is really hard for me.
Really felt that "hijacked" comment. It explains why I can't talk to someone who needs to hear me right now. I'm ready, but I can tell that he isn't by his mood hijacking mine when he's around.
It's hard for me to know if I am really good at counselling or guiding others because it is rare that I am close enough to anyone for them to rely on or come to me for help. That said I remember my French teacher telling me when I was graduating that I have a 'quiet confidence', and I think that aligns with what is said here
I have definitely used “indomitable spirit” in a bio or two. There is a sense that no one can get the best of me. The best is always yet to come and, hell, I don’t even know what that looks like for me! I curate my words very consciously as I understand the implications of the messages we send using our words. I make sure that I am sincere, genuine, and giving my full attention when talking to someone. I like to make them feel like a whole person when I interact with them. They are not just dots on paper, they are multifaceted multidimensional human BEINGS. People are not cardboard cutouts, there is always a depth and a projection and the current circumstances to account for. I try to treat everyone personally as I cannot ever see them as less. I am patient with new employees taking my order, I am accommodating toward those with disabilities; I have an almost obligation to offer assistance to someone who needs immediate help. I customize my interactions to be as perfectly tailored to the other person or the atmosphere/spirit of something. Of course this leaves me feeling a sense of no identity. I have to make conscious effort to take time to myself and do what I enjoy. There is conscious effort in separating my feelings from others’ and also what hobbies and things I derive pleasure or pain from. I want to know myself and turn myself inside out. All along the way this gives me insights into others and how to treat other people. I also feel like I guide people to their best selves and I often feel like I’m the “conscience” of other people. I’m asked for advice during moral dilemmas and people want to know what I would do. I have learned to point things back toward them so as you say, I empower them and diminish any reliance on me. I often have people enter my life when they are undergoing life altering circumstances or difficult life transitions. We somehow lose contact when they’ve gone through it or learned coping strategies. Most of my life centers around helping people become their best selves as I have been through a lot of adversity and somehow overcome it in a way that seems to inspire others. I don’t know what I’ve done differently, nor do I feel like I deserve the amount of praise or admiration I get. I genuinely like to see people happy and thriving. My Personal life is much different though, as I often make do with what I have and rarely attempt to improve things. Hoping to find a balance soon, but perhaps I’m meant to navigate life’s storms so that I can offer shelter to others when it’s their turn. Love, infj female
Please make a video about The wisdom of the ISFJ, as a young INFJ who has an ISFJ Mother I can tell that ISFJ's are more analytical and wise than they appear , her influence made me develope my empathy a lot.
Which, is exactly why they are known as The Protector/Nurse/Healer, you'd find it hard to be a Nurse if you lacked Empathy of course ~ Now, Doctors can be ISTJ or INTJ, or Surgeons, but of course ISFJ makes a great Nurse/Defender ~ There is female Wisdom, there is elder wisdom and parental mother wisdom, passed on by grandmothers and great-grandmothers, other women of course. Everyone has Intuition, but the difference is the Intuition is farther down the cognitive stack, and isn't their go-to function. The Wisdom of ISFJ is about taking in their Sensory information, the tried and true methods of the past, and using traditional proven medicine and practices/protocol in a hospital. Instead of inventing new things, and looking towards the future, they're more likely to research and memorize/put into practice hands on proven techniques and skills. Using Si, Fe, Ti, Ne, they are putting Introverted Sensing first as their Dominant, followed by Extroverted Feeling Auxiliary, this is what makes them great Healers. They have the same Feeling as INFJs, but they use Introverted Sensing instead of Intuition, meaning that they use concrete data from the real world, instead of eureka "Ah ha" flashes. Since, they prefer to stick by the traditional methods, they can be pragmatic, and extremely realistic/practical-minded. They'd know all kinds of useful information from reading books. Instead of trying something new, they'd read and research all kinds of things from other people, and they'd be pretty wise if they read a ton of books. Being Judgers, and having their Thinking in the same position as Tertiary that INFJ does, they are pretty similar, but with their Intuition being their inferior blindspot, they lack the future focus. So, instead of being blind to the present the way that we INFJ are, and losing sight of the details, they'd be extremely great with the minutiae and details, they'd see extremely clearly. With their Intuition being their inferior blindspot, they don't deal well with new techniques and skills, or abstract and rhetorical questions/data, they love to live in the present now. Everyone has all 8 functions however, they'd still have the same INFJ functions, it is just weaker and lower in the cognitive stack of importance.
Your mother and father( or maybe she was a single mother, though I’m doubtful) must have done an amazing job raising you, if you are still typing as ISFJ. Most male ISFJs, because of childhood trauma and abuse, end up developing either ASPD or NPD, sadly. Nobody morphs into an ISFJ. ISFJ is a base personality, and if it hasn’t changed by the time you’re an adult, I can only assume you had perfect parents.
So crazy! I told my my family last summer I wanted to be an ‘empowerment’ coach. They were all like “what?!? I don’t think that’s a thing.” I just want to share the message of believing in your own abilities. Even thinking about it gives me chills. I KNOW I will do it!!
I am an infj girl & my main problem which I'm continuously trying how to cope with it ,is- Nobody even my mom dad understand why I talk with myself 😑They think I'm kind of become mad/or having mental issues. 😒 I hope I don't have to mention it to any infj freind . It's just so simple & so inevitable that I don't even know how to explain this why it happens !! But it happens form my childhood. I feel terrible if someone misunderstands me , specially when it's my Dad /my mom .😥😢
sometimes that terrible feeling of being misunderstood can be soothed when one returns to that deep feeling of understanding internally. it's a trick you can use, feel the discomfort of misunderstanding then start to feel that it is surrounded by a larger warming clearer infinite expanding Understanding that's where you actually are
also, it's magical to know oneself to be observer and being!! keep talking to yourself... it's your inner dialogue and it's okay to participate in it ultimately you are your primary companion
I do this as well. I think for INFJs we just always have so much going on in our heads and we can get caught in the dreaded loop trying to figure it out. I usually have to say my thoughts out loud or write/type them out. It helps our processing when the thought can get external. I love talking to myself because we can talk as long as we want and don’t have to worry about our the listener tuning out.😅
As an INFJ, I agree, we can feel other peoples deelings. But funnily enough, when I was depressed and emotionaly detached, and going thru internship in psych department, I exhausted the manic bipolar patient I was interviewing to the point of him giving up talking to me.🤣
I recognize your cleverness in gaining subscribers by each type... It still works. Makes me giggle. Of course I was following Luanne (sorry if misspelling) a few years back anyway 😜
Once you started talking about "The Empowers" down to "Empath" is the only time I related. Not so much in the start of the video. I very much lead. I don't like to be in the spotlight when I lead, so I would eventually have little leaders everywhere to lead in my name, but, nonetheless, I lead because I believe that, even though you give the person a sense of guiding them, making them believe you are only a guide while you are actually leading them since they still need to be leaded in order to not get lost or else it is a waste of time. Hierarchy! Hierarchy!
Thanks, Nathan! I think a critical component of the INFJ personality to mention is the “prescience” of Ni (introverted intuition). The ability to foresee the future, is a mostly unconscious process. As a fully developed INFJ, Se (extraverted sensing) acts as the real time (conscious) “gumshoe detective,” perceiving almost every detail of physicality and nuance of intent. Now, it’s (Ni) about 80% accurate (No, I’m not always right, but ….). Oftentimes the “answer” is evident on the spot, but I’ve known Ti (introverted thinking, my 3rd function) to take days or even weeks of active cogitation, analysis, calculation, contrariness, counterfactual, listing, strategizing, obsessive rumination even, and all of a sudden … perhaps I get a clue or a reminder of the problem, say, while reading, or lying in bed, and … boom … there’s the answer (from Ni), seemingly out of thin air! “Aha!!” and, “Of course!!” I liken the Ni prescience as the equivalent of the mythological ancient Egyptian “all-seeing” Eye of Ra , or, the “Eye of Sauron” from 'LOTR.' Or another interpretation is my own appellation - “quantum MBTI” -- that is, the Eye of INFJ (outside time and space?!) can view past, present, and future events (simultaneously!) in terms of the ultra-smallest unit of spacetime, the Planck unit, where life experiences pass like the individual still frames of a movie reel. Or “quantum tunneling”, one of four theorized quantum events … this one where pre-existing spacetime, perhaps over billions of years (or eons!) burrows through the ‘brane’ or boundary zone between universes and through time and randomness, “tunnels” through to the “other side” and >BOOM< The Big Bang -- our universe was born. Out pops the (INFJ) answer! When composing an email to friends of acquaintances, as a goof, I’ll start off the sentence … “Eye want to tell you something …" The other aspect to this foreboding or premonition, happens consciously as the INFJ when “confronting” a future (dreaded?) social, job, or interactive relational event will “bake" the problem (with Ti), ahead of time and commence planning, and planning and more planning. Essentially what we are doing is “knowing the future” because we PLANNED it! Woe to anyone in proximity of an INFJ when things DON’T go exactly according to plan(!). Eye hope this helps understanding. My secret power, you know. And, because of this "mental recording” of events and comments, INFJs, should they decide to go dark and manipulative, have it ALL … “up here.” Enough to pick you apart, down to bare bone. Ray: “Never cross an INFJ.”
This is amazing. The idea of Ni being beyond or above time is fascinating also the visualisation of them kind of being these disembodied entities (like the eye of Sauron) is really cool indeed ~ Nathan
As a INFJ myself I can totally recognize the points that are talked about. I am 37 years old now but when I was 16~18 I knew something was different. But I didn't know what. I even thought it was a mental disorder/disability because no one else seem to experience what I was experiencing (thinking a lot about life, the meaning, and our future) it's since a year now that I found out I am a INFJ and this has clarified so much in my life. I am at a point now that I will just ask someone if they no what an INFJ is, and if they don't know I ask them to look it up, because telling someone you are a INFJ when they don't know it exists, can cause people to think you are a crazy person who thinks he is a superhero or something. These videos help me a lot in knowing that INFJ people are special and not many people know they are there.
This is a wonderful video and your expressions are so beautiful ❤ you truly understand us ! And we get overjoyed when we find people who understand us on such a deep level ! Thank you Nathan
Your videos are amazing and your literally the best person to describe the personality types especially INFJs And when you said we like to empower people and best way is to make them “self sufficient” thats 100% true. I believe that strongly, best way to make lasting change in people therefore the world is to empower them to be self sufficient and self aware.
This is a great and concise video about the peculiarities of the INFJ. Thank you for making it so clear. Hope you have/make these kinds of videos for every type!
Thank you very much for this comment! I do intend to do this for each type (eventually). If you haven’t already, feel free to check out our INFJ playlist which will play all our videos on that type! ~ Nathan
As an INTP I can appreciate the power of Ti and Fe. I think if I had Ti, Fe and Ni in my top 3 functions I could rule the world assuming my head didn't explode.
My ISTP friend reccomends do nothing time, but that Fe with the Ni Ti kind of runs through on autopilot most of the time. The only way to find peace is to just subtly manipulate everyone, without manipulating anyone, into just solving all the world's problems for us first I think. At least that's how it feels.
I have a few skills (such as being able to do practically anything with my hands or pretending to be an extrovert) but none seems as appreciable as being able to help someone and see them become independent and healthy. I feel like a counsellor and even tho no one spots my skills, I'm all good. All I need people to give me is respect and autonomy. The rest I can manage. I just want this planet to be a healthier, more caring and self aware place. Is that too much to ask? 😂
Maybe speaks to the dysfunction in my family but I feel that many groups I'm in there's a game of chess being played that I'm watching but not actively partaking in. Understanding motivations and recognizing energy shifts and power dynamics
I've taken the 16 Personalities test 3 separate times and each time my result was INFJ, and based on hearing others speak about them, INFJ's among them, I've little doubt that I myself am an INFJ. People open up to me unusually fast. I can read a person like a book quite quickly and determine how our future relationship will be if we continue to meet. I'm very quiet and reserved, yet my mind is constantly ablaze with thought. Parties and bars and the like are extremely exhausting to me. To find an empty, quiet room at a party is one of life's purest sublimities in my view.
@@PhStateOfMind Why do "Real" Solutions usually always have ugly websites, and/or make you pay money? Yeah, the "Fake" stuff usually looks a lot prettier, which of course is a huge deal to me! Lol ~ So many of these websites, tend to be hard to read, and have the wrong color palette combination. Meanwhile, the fake stuff is just easy to read and understand ~ With a handy free quiz, that isn't entirely accurate, but sure helps people who have no money! ~
I write individual letters to my children and wife every month and sit down with each one to review them. This has been consistent for years. We talk about only them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I also wrote a book about it. Working Class Dad. Not promoting the book, but just confirmation on being an INFJ. The world makes sense now. ☺️
just sent my friend If by Rudyard Kipling... not sure if YT is outsmarting me but it did shortly afterward, recommend this video... realizing my friend is INFJ been so busy typing my family - i forgot my friends have personality types, too! so fun, even with my mh counseling degree - i never dallied in MBTI until this autumn thx for helping me assimilate
INFJ are their own “blind” spot. INFJs can effortlessly figure out the other, but to figure out oneself can be a painful task
I did with my narcissistic husband as a psychologist. And it was hella painful 😃
@Jeff Peate I was already broken after a breakup from a long lasting relationship, so I didn't need more pain, but thank you! 👍
imo they have trouble reading Fi users tho
So true.
Us INFJs should pair up and be each others councelors.
@@VixeyTeh What a great idea. We're usually our own, which takes a lot more work than to help other people out. It's a lonely task. Wish I had other INFJ friends.
One of the only TH-camrs who actually understood INFJs. Refreshing.
And he's never met one. I sometimes can't believe that
Harry knows his stuff though...
Frank James is quaking 😳
Getting a compliment from an INFJ about INFJ content is... just the best!! ~ Nathan
That's right, Nathan! I'm an INFJ, too. Love the video
Frank James would be honored
He is actually an INFP
He’s totally an xNFP, though.
Nathan (INTP most likely) would be honored by Frank James (INFP).
Oh I frankly (hehe) have never thought about Frank being an INFP, y'all could have a point
@@seventhsheaven he is totally an infj, tho
Not to convince,
Not to lead,
Even not to guide.
Just radiate.
Tired of you "INFJs" holding back and not accepting your greatness.... infjs are humble in character but courageous in action. infj people are wise beyond anything I've ever seen being able to see behind someones social mask and pick them apart like a scientist in record time. infj people have this unique psychic ability to predict situations based on current trends alone scary but good scary.... experienced adaptable patient sincere just justified honorable generous diplomatic tolerant and long-suffering is the"infj" I sincerely love y'all
Thank you!! :)
Very rare that I see a "non INFJ" ( perhaps? ) write something like this. Really feels like true, no-bullshit shallow validation that hits home. Thank you!
Well said ~ Nathan
I really appreciate the comment, and I'm slowly working on it!
Thank you. The kindness in this statement is insane
I'm an INFJ and while watching this video, my "this is stupidity" alarm remained silent.
I'm genuinely honoured that I didn't trigger the alarm!! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho that's hilarious 😂
xD. Normally I always try to tell myself "be nice, be nice, give the man a chance". This was pretty accurate though.
@@yvonnecampbell7036 hilarious! and so relatable
@@timefortee ;)
My husband is INFJ and I am INTP. 25 years of marriage has taught me to trust his judgment implicitly. He is an inspiring man of unfailing integrity and everyone adores him. In his late 40s he became a chaplain to the Royal Marines. Never has a man been more well-placed in a role. Royal Marines are not famous for loving chaplains but they are lining up at his door.
I think INFJ makes beautiful characters.
lovely, im so glad you live with a partner whose you energy resonates and harmonizes with yours
Beautiful, this makes my heart smile
Wish my ex wife would have trusted me you you trusted him she had very intrusive controlling and manipulative parents that didn't want to share her time and constantly tried to get rid of me by any means necessary all I ever ask her to do was cut them off for 2 weeks to get them to stay out of our marriage and leave me alone and she refused the whole 17 years even said once I'm not abandoning my parents and tried to act like I wanted her to cut them off forever she ended up leaving me after I stopped asking her to do it and started demanding she did after they were caught for a second time reading my text messages in my wife's phone the first time they were caught was the second time they called the police on me lying I wasn't going to sit around and wait anymore for that blind squirrel to find a nut and end up dead or in prison
Wow 🥹 I’m an INFJ and my partner is an INTP. We met through MBTI so we know each other really well. Any advice for out future together?
Recently, someone told me that my quiet strength is to leave someone better than they were before, and wishing I would return. This was a disarming compliment, and was confirmation to my core value to love others well even if reciprocation or validation aren't present. Thank you for this video, Nathan. Take care.
That is indeed a great compliment to receive, I think it's an accurate one for INFJs. That part you mentioned about not expecting reciprocation is such a big deal and it's very rare indeed ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Nathan, thanks for your reply. The need for reciprocation is there in some form, but I understand why it doesn't happen, so it is why I don't hold others to that standard. It has been a difficult lesson to be sure.
Your comment moved me! Keep thriving
I used to go to therapy for my depression and at one point I was getting the therapist to tell me his story and why he became a therapist and what his bad habits were, felt like I was the therapist.
I was giving him insight and ideas that even he was amazed.
Such a weird yet funny experience 😂
this resonates with me and is so beyond hilarious
😂😂 he don't study psychology or wasn't his thing lol some people choice jobs that they not good at
I found myself letting my therapist expressing her views and thoughts as well. Haha, funny experience indeed!
It happened to me as well ...to the point that I wondered WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING and also, is it even professional😅
LMAO this is meeeee toooooo!!!!!
Great video! I would like to add something to the "The Empowerer" part. I think INFJs know that while their abilities to be someone else's empowerer come easily to them, it can be very difficult for them to be their own empowerers for several reasons. They might not believe the advice they give themselves or feel that the subjectivity behind it cannot warrant a good result etc... Sometimes they can be disheartened by that because they feel that they lack the type of support which they offer others. I think mature INFJs who have a high level of self awareness can try to include their own selves among those they empower. This would enable them to take that extra step to accept that they are able to give advice to themselves and believe the advice.
Agreed! INFJs can be overly self-sacrificing at the expense of focussing on themselves which can be a real issue for them ~ Nathan
Golden comment
"they feel like they lack the type of support which they offer others"
The true art of mentor-ship, teaching or guiding is to make the student self-sufficient. Another word for this is "kindness". Mr Nathan, you are amazing
In our view, the purpose of the teacher is to show the student that they do not actually need a teacher.
Glad you liked that part ~ Nathan
@@Andrei15193 Yes, right, that is why it is kind. It focuses on the student, building the student up in their (the student's) own eyes. But it can't be done unless there is genuine interest. Faking will not cut it. And believe me, children know the difference. Everyone does.
with a disarming gracefulness... what beautiful poetry, really
HIGHLY attuned to other people's emotions. Sometimes I can't tell when my emotions are my own or someone else's. Mentioned this to my INTJ dad and he's like 😐 ".....that's a thing?"
Haha! Your Dads reaction is hilarious ~ Nathan
"Ni boils a person down to their essence, often in the form of an archetype". Yes, I like this. That's exactly how my desire to figure people out feels, once I can connect that feeling of "they are the type of person who..." with them, it's like suddenly I know who they are and what they'll do next.
It's almost like a superpower of even hack to quickly size a person up. Often 'intuitive insights' are ultra quick yet accurate approximations ~ Nathan
Do you also see psychopaths everywhere then? I have become so adept at figuring people out that I can usually diagnose a personality disorder, psychopathy, or lack of either, within a few minutes of observing them in person or through social media.
@@katieandnick4113 They ARE everywhere.
Your tricks have backfired Nathan, all that talk about INFJs not knowing their own emotions apart from others have made me resistant to that emotionally manipulative intro haha!
It's honestly very nice to see someone who acctually more or less understand INFJs on this level :)
True tho lol
I feel like I've unintentionally used the elder wand on it's true master, hate it when that happens ~ Nathan
Needed that ego boost
Glad to be your ego boost! ~ Nathan
I’m an INFJ and all of this is very true. Especially how we influence others subtly and being so empathic that we literally feel the other persons emotions. We see opposing views and opinions and still fully understand the other persons perspective and intent. Love your videos. My INTJ best friend even feels your videos are dead on, which is quite a compliment coming from an INTJ as you know lol.
Well... getting the approval of an INTJ AND an INFJ is like the holy grail. ~ Nathan
I've struggled a lot with my own personality, I'm so focused on understanding other people my whole life I've never really bothered looking at myself. People tell me "you are in more control than you think". Yeah, tell me that. Not only now am I trying to understand others, I'm also trying to understand myself. This involves stupid amounts of self-reflection. I'm in constant analysis of my own behaviour. Now I just don't know what option is really mine or whether it was subconsciously influenced by something else. After all, we are just an amalgamation of all our experiences and the people we've met on the way; as are they.
"Knowing yourself" in every sense is just about the hardest thing we have to do. Simply the fact that you're even trying puts you way ahead of the game. I hope that some of our stuff helps you in any way! ~ Nathan
INFJs compared to open waters: "They're just waves on a windy day", response "Nooooo, they are the tide that raise the sea, beware of the ones who lower it."
What a great quote!
Very nice indeed ~ Nathan
Yes. But a threatened INFJ becomes so attuned to it that it must be expressed and it disturbs or scared people.
INFJ here. I so appreciate you Nathan. I feel like INFJs and INTJs are first cousins who truly get each other.
I have a nephew , who is an intj and i am an infj- He and I get entangle in conversation that others begin to tune out, zone out and wane away- although the Enfp family members and my infp neice can hang on pretty well at times - the infp better than the Enfps, whom seem to drift due to the need for movement more than any other reasons - I think they need to pace about to collect their thoughts as often they come back to the conversation with comments that seem to have just been generated - (as an infj I also enjoy a long walk and a long car ride to do the same)
no wonder my bestie is an INTJ
I am a INFJ and I am married to an INTP, and I must say, out of all the personality types out there I feel the INTP understands the INFJ best. Excellent video as always!
INTP and ENFP is best matches for infj
INFJ's are also typically what is known as a HSP (hyper sensitive person) and I'd love to see you do a video that incorporates the science behind HSP's and INFJ's/empathic people. Mirror neurons play a big part in this!
It is confirmed that a Jane Austen quote makes anything better :)
There was this new girl hired at our workplace yesterday.
I didn't hear her say a word when i saw her - she was only listening what to do.
But then there was this one moment when she spoke to tell her opinion.
At that very moment my mind was like: "OH, she is that type of person, good to know".
It took me literally seconds to know her character:
I felt that she was stressed but she was hiding it under fake confidence. It's good though, because she made good first impression on everybody.
I could feel she felt lost though. She will fit in, but she need good guidance. Any form of negative critique would make her question why she decided to work here.
If the co-workers will be supportive she will feel good here. That's all she really needs.
Yes I'm an INFJ.
Don't judge the book by the cover" they say.
But I did not judge her by her look though.
I judged by her emotions and behaviour, her expression, the "vibe" she gave, how she respond, react.
Good anecdote. Relatable.
"Human Whisperer" -- I like that. AsuraPsych has touched upon this about INFJs as well. There is a stunning beauty in being able to help others in such a way to access an insightfulness about themselves; often, those we help may not even recall WHO it was that helped them. The subtle beauty of being invisible.
Now as for mutual relationships/friendships, it is a bit different. It's good to see but also be seen. I still think it's wonderful to understand more than to be understood. For it is in giving that one receives and it is in losing one's life that it is found. (Obviously, use wisdom with this and don't be a doormat. Shining one's light is empowering to others; our example is most impactful)
Tbh, it’s a beauty that annoys me! Show me your bare core -_- ! *sorry for the aggressiveness, sorry*
-intj being a bit honest
Ps: I don’t mean you as a person but as an infj, and of if you don’t wish to reveal anything; it’s least appropriate that, you don’t. Have a good day.
Instantaneous understanding of others and their struggles, and then benevolent and gentle “reprogramming”
begins. Intense drive to enlighten others to their own power and potential. In purest form, no ulterior motive whatsoever.
As an INFJ, I enjoy your understanding of the INFJ, and your candid humor about us. You are spot on with “soft power.” Once at a dinner party, an astute businessman, (a self-made Billionaire,) casually
observed as he said to me, “Yes...you are the consummate Velvet Hammer.” It remains my favorite compliment.
One thing I’ve always noticed and always appreciated is that when I meet someone and I hear how they talk or watch what they do, I immediately compare that to a character on a tv show or to someone I’ve met who acts just like that and it tells me who I want to be around who I should just stay silent around.
Thank you for empowering the empowerer :)
Ohhh well played! Also, anytime ~ Nathan
To make the student self sufficient, for them not to need me, is the exact goal for me, the ultimate ideal. How are you so perfect at these summarizations?
As an INFJ, I am so amazed at the insight you wield. I am older, and so I understand myself and how I work and how I find myself guiding, or rather, how others come to me for guidance. I find it mind boggling that you can speak so precisely on such matters. Amazing content and channel. Always a joy to see a new video show up from you.
"Human Whisperers," love it Nathan! -NFJ 💕🤣
Reluctant counselor 🙋🏾♂️
Whenever I see someone is a musician (which I'm assuming is the case from your profile pic?) I feel compelled to say: "Definitely put yourself out there and make some TH-cam videos" - so there's my low key pushy response of the day ~ Nathan
@@lovewho thank you. Yes im a guitar player. Have an IG but putting myself out there can be nerve wracking sometimes. Thanks for the push.
(INFP) I'm in love with an INFJ. Oddly enough, I have nothing to seek her council for. Perhaps I've done enough self work to not warrant needing it. It gives her room to breath and just be. Something I doubt she is allowed the luxury to feel during the course of her regular life. I can see her staring off distantly between sentences and thoughts at times, then returning with waves of insight and a path forward! I allow her to think out loud without judgment and in turn she allows me to be passively validated. Imagine that, two introverts appreciating each other non directly.
As an INFP, I've accepted my lot in life. This is the IDEALIZED version of a partner I have/will ever come across in life. Even though (as a healthy INFP) know this is not the truth necessarily, I'd be damned if it wouldn't be one of pinnacles of life if it didn't come to fruition.
Lu/Nathan, thank you for allowing us the space to rant.
- P
Beautifully said and we always love your insightful rants! ~ Nathan
Wow, your self awareness is impressive! My husband is also an INFP, and we have a very similar relationship. I hope your partner appreciates how great you are, and how fortunate you both are to have found one one another. You stated it perfectly when you said that she is your idealized perfect woman, and you know you’ll never find anyone who’s a better match for you. Once we, as INFJs can accept this(it’s actually very rare that anyone ever experiences this type of relationship), we become so much happier. I think a lot of men who claim to be, or believe they are, INFJ are actually INFP. INFPs have tons of intuition and empathy, but they don’t have as much as an INFJ. However, an INFP will listen to and appreciate the insights of his INFJ partner, even if he can’t fully understand where she’s coming from. He won’t tell her she’s crazy when she says things that seem very out in left field, and he doesn’t think she’s crazy for saying them. And a mature INFJ will make her partner feel amazing, and build his confidence in a way he cannot do on his own. If they have children together, they are likely to be grow up to be some of the most well adjusted people on earth.
Edit: I’m actually curious if you may be very INFJ leaning. It seems that INFP men aren’t generally as considerate as you seem to be. My husband types as INFP, but last time he tested, he was about 51/49, P/J.
@@katieandnick4113 Hi Katie. Since having written this, I've been professionally typed as an ISTP. The girl in my rant I believe is ISTJ. The self awareness and seeking for another deep soul hasn't changed at all though. (smile)
It's nice to read about what you and your husband have and share.
As an INFJ, I looove this video! And it’s sooo true. TYSM
Compliments from real-life INFJs = Epic ~ Nathan
2.28. The best thing I heard you say about INFjs. This is 100% "me", and what I want for people. They shouldn't need me or anyone else "long term". Just a "guide", empowerer (my own word in this particular comment!) indeed.
So glad to hear that you found it accurate! ~ Nathan
Nathan: says "triumvirate"
Me: *clicks like
It's a gorgeous word. I'd recently watched the Julius Caesar documentary on Netflix so that word was in my mind caesar
What a great word that says so much. The British still speak English unlike Americans. The Brits actually have an intelligent vocab and they use it. Where did we go wrong? Hah
@@lovewho I love that documentary!
@@MaryellenDawson hello fellow M Dawson 👋😊 are you also an INFJ? I’m curious!
@@madisonaubrey6076 Yes I am an INFJ. What a fascinating type to be. Lonely at times but fabulous to have the gift of insights and intuition. I can't believe your name. My name on Twitter was Madistone.... and of course there is our last name. Unreal. Are we twins? 😎 😅
"The Empowerers", I like that a lot. I think that fits the way I operate best. I often try to help people find who they truly are and make them reach the potential I see in them. I love to see them get on a roll and start making some real accomplishments in their life that make them feel empowered. It doesn't happen as often as I would like but I have helped some people make some real leaps. Excellent way of explaining that my brother. 👍🕊️🌌🤙
I sent this to my son because he is the most amazing INFJ I have ever met, our whole family goes to him for advice, he is very wise.
You know, this somewhat make sense. I've had conversations with people where I would share my views on a topic and later, I will hear those very same people (during other conversations) talk as if that was originally their thought process/belief. This has always mystified me and leaves me feeling a little underappreciated...so it helps knowing that they are not doing this consciously!
Once I noticed this, I started to try to implant ideas....it works more often than I expect.
@@dr.bandito60
Let’s hope they were positive ideas hehe 😂😂
Feeling the Fe "vibe" is just something that happens; there's no helping it (automatic). But the preference (at least for me) is to spend more time and attention in analyzing (Ti). I personally resonate with third function being my preferred (compared to second), but the second function serves as the "authority" (responsibility) that keeps the third function "in check"
Some people call the 2nd function the Parent function, and the 3rd is the Child function.
That makes a lot of sense, the Fe seems to be an automatic and effortless thing. It's interesting that you mention your preference for your Ti, in the Objective Personality typing system they have so called "Jumper Types" who value their first and third functions more. Might be worth looking into if you haven't already ~ Nathan
@@lovewho I read a ~little~ about the Jumper types. But after months of wondering why it's possible, I came to a conclusion that maybe Jumpers are more introverted (if they're introverts) than the rest do. I personally am more of an Ni-Ti person (INFJ) and Idk if that Ni-Ti Loop they call is what I do most if the time when I "try" to solve problems or questions on my own. Idk what I'm talking about. Hahahahelp
@@lovewho I have! :D Dave and Shan have pointed out several very interesting and helpful aspects in expanding type analysis, even though I don't agree with a few details in their system... (it's still very helpful with understanding the intricacies of cognitive functions)... I would definitely be a "jumper type" (Ni/Ti). Fe is a point of responsibility, not usually an area of comfort. It's like I feel compelled to "attend" to Fe, or it is employed, seemingly automatically. >Matt< Love your channel, man --> ALWAYS EXCELLENT! ^_^
@@franksmadale right. Functions 1+3 = sanctuary and creativity; 2+4 = responsibility and aspiration
I have seriously struggled finding the right way forwards, Teacher, Leader, Educator, Instructor etc. NO, Guide. I did discover this recently, but you have solidified this. it feels incredibly right. very true and resonates in a very specific way. Much appreciated
A box full of thank you cards from individuals that were once part of my life's journey, helped them figure out their problems during that time and letting them continue (setting them free) on in their life's journey.. The card of appreciation usually comes much later as a surprise after their realization of what happened and how a difference was made in their life..
My older sis is an INFJ and I definitely see her as that reluctant counsellor 😂😂😂
Love these vids and I'll definitely get her to subscribe tho 👌🏾👌🏾
Show her the love and appreciation for what she wants to do and be for the "world" :)
Converting family members into subscribers, this is greatly appreciated ~ Nathan
It’s actually got to do with your character. That is the most essential and important thing to one’s life next to who you truly are.
Hope to see more on INFJ man. You are very insightful on "us", unlike most, in a special way. I could have hours of discussions with you on these matters, and probably more if you were a fellow Swede.
INFJ here. People think I spew words of wisdom every single time I open my mouth. They don't know that I talk to myself and "rehearse" my conversations ahead of time.
Nate appreciation comment: I like the combination of hair and shirt. And it was already time you made an INFJ video. Despite having several out there, it is much better when you make them, since you always do a great job on pleasing my Ni-Ti-Fe with extremely logical insights on people patterns. Some would say it is the Genius of Nathan.
Oh... appreciation is the way to my heart, well played ~ Nathan
2:20
"Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life".
-Terry Pratchett
no matter how often i disapprove myself of an infj, these kinds of videos always convince me i actually am o_O
Nathan! U really understand us INFJs too well. Amazing work :)🌹...
Resisting the urge to sing the 'Kangkan Krishna Sarma Pegu Song' but thank you very much. Hearing positive feedback from people who know their stuff feels great! ~ Nathan
Reluctant counselor is very accurate. Well done.
Glad you found it accurate. I'm always mildly worried that real life versions of each type will find all my ramblings completely wrong ~ Nathan
Love Who I think you’re very insightful! This channel has great content. Keep doing what you’re doing.
INFJ here. Deceitful, manipulative behavior is my #1 peeve. I cannot stand people who display verbally abusive tactics or people who play mind games to get their way. I’ve learned that sometimes people don’t even realize they’re being manipulative, but I can sense even the smallest trace of it-whether the person is conscious of it or not-and I am completely unwilling to let this behavior slide. I will not be coerced, nor will I allow the people around me to be. I will call it out. And if the behavior continues, it is the fastest route to a permanent door slam.
as an infj imma make a damn good psychologist one day. but that day isn't today, because I'm so burnt out and I don't feel like myself or these powers very strongly at the moment. It's easy to be there for others until you feel like you have nothing left to give. but thank you for this video, it's a reminder that that part of me is still there even if somehow hidden right now haha
Life is all about finding the essence of things and what makes them great. From the skyscrapers to the tiniest organism it all seems like a sympathy constantly playing the world around me.
late to the party but recently discovered your channel and binge watching. Excellent content, keep it up. I am working on maturing my INFJ strengths and proclivities. What I have found to be very helpful in balancing is:
1 - not internalizing and feeling responsible for everyone's feelings (this does not apply to my friends and family, the important relationships). I mean my barber telling me everything that is going on while they cut my hard. This has been really hard but very liberating and powerful on days I get it right. I don't stop empathizing or caring about others. I just stop feeling responsible for everyone's feelings in the room. I still listen, consult, and help to the best of my abilities but now I don't spend an hour helping someone then another hour ruminating and stressing on their negative feelings and how I should've done this or that differently.
2 - just getting started with stuff and not being a perfectionist. I don't know everything and have everything planned to study or develop a new talent. I know enough to get started and will learn along the way. This is really hard for me.
Really felt that "hijacked" comment. It explains why I can't talk to someone who needs to hear me right now. I'm ready, but I can tell that he isn't by his mood hijacking mine when he's around.
Well put my friend. To help this channel out since I am already a subscriber, I took the liberty of giving this video two views . 😜
You're a saint! How can I reward you? Name your price ~ Nathan
You make me chuckle... can't not hit the like button. Nice one fella, your a top bloke.
Am infj from india, subscribed as soon as i saw the Gandhi quoting" true power does not come from physical capacity but an indominable will" 😂
It's hard for me to know if I am really good at counselling or guiding others because it is rare that I am close enough to anyone for them to rely on or come to me for help. That said I remember my French teacher telling me when I was graduating that I have a 'quiet confidence', and I think that aligns with what is said here
I have definitely used “indomitable spirit” in a bio or two. There is a sense that no one can get the best of me. The best is always yet to come and, hell, I don’t even know what that looks like for me!
I curate my words very consciously as I understand the implications of the messages we send using our words. I make sure that I am sincere, genuine, and giving my full attention when talking to someone. I like to make them feel like a whole person when I interact with them. They are not just dots on paper, they are multifaceted multidimensional human BEINGS. People are not cardboard cutouts, there is always a depth and a projection and the current circumstances to account for.
I try to treat everyone personally as I cannot ever see them as less. I am patient with new employees taking my order, I am accommodating toward those with disabilities; I have an almost obligation to offer assistance to someone who needs immediate help. I customize my interactions to be as perfectly tailored to the other person or the atmosphere/spirit of something. Of course this leaves me feeling a sense of no identity. I have to make conscious effort to take time to myself and do what I enjoy. There is conscious effort in separating my feelings from others’ and also what hobbies and things I derive pleasure or pain from. I want to know myself and turn myself inside out. All along the way this gives me insights into others and how to treat other people.
I also feel like I guide people to their best selves and I often feel like I’m the “conscience” of other people. I’m asked for advice during moral dilemmas and people want to know what I would do. I have learned to point things back toward them so as you say, I empower them and diminish any reliance on me. I often have people enter my life when they are undergoing life altering circumstances or difficult life transitions. We somehow lose contact when they’ve gone through it or learned coping strategies. Most of my life centers around helping people become their best selves as I have been through a lot of adversity and somehow overcome it in a way that seems to inspire others. I don’t know what I’ve done differently, nor do I feel like I deserve the amount of praise or admiration I get. I genuinely like to see people happy and thriving. My
Personal life is much different though, as I often make do with what I have and rarely attempt to improve things. Hoping to find a balance soon, but perhaps I’m meant to navigate life’s storms so that I can offer shelter to others when it’s their turn.
Love, infj female
0:20 soft power
1:30 the way shower
2:08 the empowerers
2:38 the empath/ human whisperer
Please make a video about The wisdom of the ISFJ, as a young INFJ who has an ISFJ Mother I can tell that ISFJ's are more analytical and wise than they appear , her influence made me develope my empathy a lot.
They are indeed typically empathic
Which, is exactly why they are known as The Protector/Nurse/Healer, you'd find it hard to be a Nurse if you lacked Empathy of course ~
Now, Doctors can be ISTJ or INTJ, or Surgeons, but of course ISFJ makes a great Nurse/Defender ~
There is female Wisdom, there is elder wisdom and parental mother wisdom, passed on by grandmothers and great-grandmothers, other women of course.
Everyone has Intuition, but the difference is the Intuition is farther down the cognitive stack, and isn't their go-to function.
The Wisdom of ISFJ is about taking in their Sensory information, the tried and true methods of the past, and using traditional proven medicine and practices/protocol in a hospital.
Instead of inventing new things, and looking towards the future, they're more likely to research and memorize/put into practice hands on proven techniques and skills.
Using Si, Fe, Ti, Ne, they are putting Introverted Sensing first as their Dominant, followed by Extroverted Feeling Auxiliary, this is what makes them great Healers.
They have the same Feeling as INFJs, but they use Introverted Sensing instead of Intuition, meaning that they use concrete data from the real world, instead of eureka "Ah ha" flashes.
Since, they prefer to stick by the traditional methods, they can be pragmatic, and extremely realistic/practical-minded. They'd know all kinds of useful information from reading books.
Instead of trying something new, they'd read and research all kinds of things from other people, and they'd be pretty wise if they read a ton of books.
Being Judgers, and having their Thinking in the same position as Tertiary that INFJ does, they are pretty similar, but with their Intuition being their inferior blindspot, they lack the future focus.
So, instead of being blind to the present the way that we INFJ are, and losing sight of the details, they'd be extremely great with the minutiae and details, they'd see extremely clearly.
With their Intuition being their inferior blindspot, they don't deal well with new techniques and skills, or abstract and rhetorical questions/data, they love to live in the present now.
Everyone has all 8 functions however, they'd still have the same INFJ functions, it is just weaker and lower in the cognitive stack of importance.
Your mother and father( or maybe she was a single mother, though I’m doubtful) must have done an amazing job raising you, if you are still typing as ISFJ. Most male ISFJs, because of childhood trauma and abuse, end up developing either ASPD or NPD, sadly. Nobody morphs into an ISFJ. ISFJ is a base personality, and if it hasn’t changed by the time you’re an adult, I can only assume you had perfect parents.
So crazy! I told my my family last summer I wanted to be an ‘empowerment’ coach. They were all like “what?!? I don’t think that’s a thing.”
I just want to share the message of believing in your own abilities. Even thinking about it gives me chills. I KNOW I will do it!!
I am an infj girl & my main problem which I'm continuously trying how to cope with it ,is- Nobody even my mom dad understand why I talk with myself 😑They think I'm kind of become mad/or having mental issues. 😒 I hope I don't have to mention it to any infj freind . It's just so simple & so inevitable that I don't even know how to explain this why it happens !! But it happens form my childhood. I feel terrible if someone misunderstands me , specially when it's my Dad /my mom .😥😢
sometimes that terrible feeling of being misunderstood can be soothed when one returns to that deep feeling of understanding internally. it's a trick you can use, feel the discomfort of misunderstanding then start to feel that it is surrounded by a larger warming clearer infinite expanding Understanding that's where you actually are
also, it's magical to know oneself to be observer and being!! keep talking to yourself... it's your inner dialogue and it's okay to participate in it ultimately you are your primary companion
I do this as well. I think for INFJs we just always have so much going on in our heads and we can get caught in the dreaded loop trying to figure it out. I usually have to say my thoughts out loud or write/type them out. It helps our processing when the thought can get external. I love talking to myself because we can talk as long as we want and don’t have to worry about our the listener tuning out.😅
As an INFJ, I agree, we can feel other peoples deelings. But funnily enough, when I was depressed and emotionaly detached, and going thru internship in psych department, I exhausted the manic bipolar patient I was interviewing to the point of him giving up talking to me.🤣
“To make the student self sufficient”. Yes! As I build my business all I want it to make myself obsolete. Then I will have succeeded.
I like hearing about how awesome I am!
Good! ~ Nathan
I’m an INFJ and we are like that one friend who gives relationship advice but doesn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend
I recognize your cleverness in gaining subscribers by each type... It still works. Makes me giggle.
Of course I was following Luanne (sorry if misspelling) a few years back anyway 😜
I'll say thank you to Luann now (I'm currently chatting with her on a video call but she's on the phone) ~ Nathan
Once you started talking about "The Empowers" down to "Empath" is the only time I related. Not so much in the start of the video. I very much lead. I don't like to be in the spotlight when I lead, so I would eventually have little leaders everywhere to lead in my name, but, nonetheless, I lead because I believe that, even though you give the person a sense of guiding them, making them believe you are only a guide while you are actually leading them since they still need to be leaded in order to not get lost or else it is a waste of time. Hierarchy! Hierarchy!
Thanks, Nathan!
I think a critical component of the INFJ personality to mention is the “prescience” of Ni (introverted intuition). The ability to foresee the future, is a mostly unconscious process. As a fully developed INFJ, Se (extraverted sensing) acts as the real time (conscious) “gumshoe detective,” perceiving almost every detail of physicality and nuance of intent. Now, it’s (Ni) about 80% accurate (No, I’m not always right, but ….). Oftentimes the “answer” is evident on the spot, but I’ve known Ti (introverted thinking, my 3rd function) to take days or even weeks of active cogitation, analysis, calculation, contrariness, counterfactual, listing, strategizing, obsessive rumination even, and all of a sudden … perhaps I get a clue or a reminder of the problem, say, while reading, or lying in bed, and … boom … there’s the answer (from Ni), seemingly out of thin air! “Aha!!” and, “Of course!!”
I liken the Ni prescience as the equivalent of the mythological ancient Egyptian “all-seeing” Eye of Ra , or, the “Eye of Sauron” from 'LOTR.' Or another interpretation is my own appellation - “quantum MBTI” -- that is, the Eye of INFJ (outside time and space?!) can view past, present, and future events (simultaneously!) in terms of the ultra-smallest unit of spacetime, the Planck unit, where life experiences pass like the individual still frames of a movie reel. Or “quantum tunneling”, one of four theorized quantum events … this one where pre-existing spacetime, perhaps over billions of years (or eons!) burrows through the ‘brane’ or boundary zone between universes and through time and randomness, “tunnels” through to the “other side” and >BOOM< The Big Bang -- our universe was born. Out pops the (INFJ) answer!
When composing an email to friends of acquaintances, as a goof, I’ll start off the sentence … “Eye want to tell you something …"
The other aspect to this foreboding or premonition, happens consciously as the INFJ when “confronting” a future (dreaded?) social, job, or interactive relational event will “bake" the problem (with Ti), ahead of time and commence planning, and planning and more planning. Essentially what we are doing is “knowing the future” because we PLANNED it! Woe to anyone in proximity of an INFJ when things DON’T go exactly according to plan(!).
Eye hope this helps understanding. My secret power, you know.
And, because of this "mental recording” of events and comments, INFJs, should they decide to go dark and manipulative, have it ALL … “up here.” Enough to pick you apart, down to bare bone.
Ray: “Never cross an INFJ.”
This is amazing. The idea of Ni being beyond or above time is fascinating also the visualisation of them kind of being these disembodied entities (like the eye of Sauron) is really cool indeed ~ Nathan
Brilliance. This is a good one, good work Sir!!
Why thank you! ~ Nathan
As a INFJ myself I can totally recognize the points that are talked about. I am 37 years old now but when I was 16~18 I knew something was different. But I didn't know what. I even thought it was a mental disorder/disability because no one else seem to experience what I was experiencing (thinking a lot about life, the meaning, and our future) it's since a year now that I found out I am a INFJ and this has clarified so much in my life.
I am at a point now that I will just ask someone if they no what an INFJ is, and if they don't know I ask them to look it up, because telling someone you are a INFJ when they don't know it exists, can cause people to think you are a crazy person who thinks he is a superhero or something.
These videos help me a lot in knowing that INFJ people are special and not many people know they are there.
Asperger's
We also take into consideration how every people feel about certain situations instead of just our own.
Thank you.
I hesitate to comment any further at this time.
It is a matter of discretion, not fear.
This is a wonderful video and your expressions are so beautiful ❤ you truly understand us ! And we get overjoyed when we find people who understand us on such a deep level ! Thank you Nathan
Your videos are amazing and your literally the best person to describe the personality types especially INFJs
And when you said we like to empower people and best way is to make them “self sufficient” thats 100% true.
I believe that strongly, best way to make lasting change in people therefore the world is to empower them to be self sufficient and self aware.
I haven't forgotten how i love this channel❤
This is a great and concise video about the peculiarities of the INFJ. Thank you for making it so clear. Hope you have/make these kinds of videos for every type!
Thank you very much for this comment! I do intend to do this for each type (eventually). If you haven’t already, feel free to check out our INFJ playlist which will play all our videos on that type! ~ Nathan
As an INTP I can appreciate the power of Ti and Fe. I think if I had Ti, Fe and Ni in my top 3 functions I could rule the world assuming my head didn't explode.
Yeah the head exploding part is a real problem.
My ISTP friend reccomends do nothing time, but that Fe with the Ni Ti kind of runs through on autopilot most of the time. The only way to find peace is to just subtly manipulate everyone, without manipulating anyone, into just solving all the world's problems for us first I think. At least that's how it feels.
Man im super sensitive to everything physically, mentally, and spiritually
As always: great content. Please keep it up!
Absolutely love this video. Your understanding is very clear and you explain the infj personality so well ! ❤️
Thank you so much, this is great to hear! Feel free to check out our other INFJ videos (via the INFJ playlist) if you haven't already ~ Nathan
Great video there is no better way to explain infj Beautifully and brilliantly done my friend
I have a few skills (such as being able to do practically anything with my hands or pretending to be an extrovert) but none seems as appreciable as being able to help someone and see them become independent and healthy.
I feel like a counsellor and even tho no one spots my skills, I'm all good. All I need people to give me is respect and autonomy. The rest I can manage.
I just want this planet to be a healthier, more caring and self aware place. Is that too much to ask? 😂
Maybe speaks to the dysfunction in my family but I feel that many groups I'm in there's a game of chess being played that I'm watching but not actively partaking in. Understanding motivations and recognizing energy shifts and power dynamics
I've taken the 16 Personalities test 3 separate times and each time my result was INFJ, and based on hearing others speak about them, INFJ's among them, I've little doubt that I myself am an INFJ. People open up to me unusually fast. I can read a person like a book quite quickly and determine how our future relationship will be if we continue to meet. I'm very quiet and reserved, yet my mind is constantly ablaze with thought. Parties and bars and the like are extremely exhausting to me. To find an empty, quiet room at a party is one of life's purest sublimities in my view.
If you truly want to know if you’re an INFJ, try key2cognition.
16personalities ain’t real MBTI.
@@PhStateOfMind Why do "Real" Solutions usually always have ugly websites, and/or make you pay money?
Yeah, the "Fake" stuff usually looks a lot prettier, which of course is a huge deal to me! Lol ~
So many of these websites, tend to be hard to read, and have the wrong color palette combination. Meanwhile, the fake stuff is just easy to read and understand ~
With a handy free quiz, that isn't entirely accurate, but sure helps people who have no money! ~
You are so awesome to learn to know Infj and for demonstrating it 😎
I couldn't resist the ego boost... nice way to appeal to Fe! XD Love your videos! Keep it up, man :)
INTPs can be pretty smart ;)
Thank you very much! ~ Nathan
I write individual letters to my children and wife every month and sit down with each one to review them. This has been consistent for years. We talk about only them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I also wrote a book about it. Working Class Dad. Not promoting the book, but just confirmation on being an INFJ. The world makes sense now. ☺️
I am an INFJ and became a licensed psychotherapist, teacher and author. How fortuitous!
Awesome video Nathan, as always. Very accurate
Thank you very much! ~ Nathan
Your channel is gunna be big man nice video brah
just sent my friend If by Rudyard Kipling... not sure if YT is outsmarting me but it did shortly afterward, recommend this video... realizing my friend is INFJ been so busy typing my family - i forgot my friends have personality types, too! so fun, even with my mh counseling degree - i never dallied in MBTI until this autumn thx for helping me assimilate
Loved this!!! Wanted more!
Thank you and noted ~ Nathan
This is awesome! I really don’t hear this that often.
Perfect Nathan, thank you 🥰
"Perfect Nathan" - you're officially my favourite comment of the day ~ Nathan
Whispers, "It has been so long I've forgotten how much I 💙 these vids"...
I mean, that's just awesome to hear ~ Nathan