ADHD: Your "Consequences" Are Unfair! Do Them Right This Way...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- TransformingADH... - TransformingADHD.com founder Anders Ronnau gives insights into how to Transform ADHD from the Inside Out. ☀️
In this video you'll understand why most of the "consequences" that you give out to your children are amazingly unfair, and what you can do instead.
Learn how to teach your children to learn from mistakes, understand situations better, and take your feedback in a better way.
Please give the video a 👍, if you liked it. And subscribe to make sure you get many more videos on how to Transform ADHD From The Inside Out! ☀️
Also, YOU are welcome to visit www.Transformin... for more videos, articles and courses on how to transform ADHD from the inside out.
From almost 10 years of experience coaching and working with children, teens and adults with the ADHD diagnosis, I can confirm that people with the ADHD diagnosis are not broken. They are fine, and they have problems. Problems we can work with, and when we work with their cognition, we Transform ADHD From The Inside Out. Come join the revolution at TransformingADHD.com ❤️
This is spot on. I used to give unrelated consequences because I didn’t know how to give related ones and still learning. My relationship with my sons is MUCH better and I remind myself that our relationship matters more than my frustration when they forget to do things that are boring. They also used to have low self esteem and confidence and I’m guessing this is why so I changed my approach and apologized and they are SO much happier and doing great in school. Teachers also need to learn about this, their teachers were too hard on them unknowingly and damaged their self worth in elementary school.
One thing that helped was to have a list on a white board with dots next to the chores and they erase their “daily dots” as they complete them before getting screen time.
Also they will forget to do their chores so it’s best if I hold on to their screens so that they have to ask for them otherwise they will go directly to the screens and is stressful for them and me to take them away until their chores are done. They need a barrier as a reminder or as a motivator because if it’s accessible then they will go right to it without a thought even if it makes them feel disappointed in themselves once they remember they didn’t do what was expected or asked.
Is there any way to contact you privately?
Yes. Find my email address here: transformingadhd.com/anders-ronnau/
Because as of now there is no consequences with the teen and that's the issue. If there was consequences it wouldn't be as bad as it is now
He literally points out at 1:40 that it's consequences unrelated to the problem that are ineffective. In this case, turning off the video game in response to an aggressive reaction to a child walking between the teen and the game may be effective because the two are causally linked. But taking away screen time because your kid acted out in school? That's not a fair consequence because after-school screen time has no impact on in-school behavior one way or the other.
So when the child is 13 and he's playing video games and a 4 year old girl walks in front of the TV and the ADHD teen pushes her down, kicks her and say he'll kill her then he gets no consequences??? In my eyes he should get the video games taken away. I'm having this argument with another parent about his child who did this to mine. And not just once but hes done it many times and his father does nothing at all and just excuses his behavior saying it's not his fault. That may be but if there is no consequences he will never stop. You cant just change everyone around the child to be understanding and excuse the behavior of the child whose behavior is causing the issues.
The problem with the situation you are describing is that you do not know what kind of discipline happens, and discipline is not supposed to be nor should it be a show punishment for another adult's comfort. Back off, protect your own child, and let the other parent handle their own child.
As a grown-up "ADHD kid," it is VERY frustrating and VERY painful to feel left behind and vilified by other people, and to feel like you are never going to fit in or be accepted. You can be a genius in terms of your knowledge and reasoning abilities and feel utterly broken with rock-bottom self-esteem and a history of trashed credit cards and missed opportunities, of people who won't trust you because you're different.
If this kid is a real kid, then he's going to have to figure out how to deal with the world. And if he's real and not yours, then I'm sorry but he is not your responsibility. And if he's not a real kid but a made-up situation then shame on you.
It's unfair to punish someone for something they (1) can't control like the average person, and (2) already feel bad about. You'd rather help them build values and help them understand how their actions are misaligned with their own values.
Edit: I didn't realise you were talking about a teen, not a young child. By teen age, a child should have their values in place and should have practiced their regulation rituals enough that they already know either not to misbehave, or what to do after they've misbehaved.
I would take violent behaviour from an older child very seriously and work hard to get to the root causes of it. Taking away a videogame would not do that. I'd actually get professionals involved, eg social workers or private clinicians.
Also, what this video is talking about is entirely different from what you're talking about.
@@katherineberger6329 "You can be a genius in terms of your knowledge and reasoning abilities and feel utterly broken with rock-bottom self-esteem and a history of trashed credit cards and missed opportunities, of people who won't trust you because you're different." story of my life -.-
Amazing, you said absolutely nothing useful