@@SaguaroBlossomShe is beautiful. By any objective measure, given her age, she is stunning. I did hear an interview with a former member of the AUB Church saying that most marriages aren't based on love or attraction.
Kody doesn’t love anyone but Kody. He is a true narcissist that measures his relationship based on the giving to him. He just isn’t capable of loving for the emotional need of companionship. That is why his relationships with his children as they have matured has broken down as well, their focus isn’t singularly on him anymore and his response pushes them away even more as they realize love is only a one way street for him.
in his mind,& in their culture/religion, she was high status. He married her for prestige. It is hilarious that she is marrying a Wooley. The Wooleys were founders of Mormon fundamentalism and the AUB. Google John Wickersham Wooley and Lorin Calvin Wooley to read their biographies.
So right about the hair. He’s always flipping it around. the tell for me was when he was officiating his friend’s wedding and the speech was all about him! Then he danced at the reception like a desperate child looking for attention.
I truly feel that if Kody didn’t ignore Savannah for Christmas and if he allowed Janelle to talk during their meeting then she would have said let’s reconcile. But he didn’t let her finish a sentence, he didn’t apologize or validate her feelings on anything. It was all ME ME ME!!! Janelle is finally seeing how selfish and narcissistic he is. She’s realizing she is happier alone than with a man who clearly doesn’t care how she feels.
She probably would have because the way he treated Mary wasn't a deal-breaker for her and the way that he treated Christine wasn't either and quite honestly the way the kids told her they felt in Vegas when they were told they were moving didn't bother her she still did what Cody wanted so I don't have as much love for Janelle as other people
At the 6 minute mark you touched on something I picked up that nobody else is talking about- kody walks in to the restaurant putting it on for real. He made sure to show up bubbly, refusing to blow up, and made sure to flirt with her. He really expected to show up, win her back without taking actual accountability, and move on just how things were. I suspect he's done this in the past every time. When he's ready to take them back he just does. And like you said- now it's not working on them anymore and he's baffled.
Agree completely. Kody gives a wife several weeks away so he can sweep in sweet talking & pretend the bad things are over & swept away. He asks for a hug & a kiss on the lips & you could see it almost worked with Janelle until she said - still want to be separate. He probably went home to Robyn & blew up. Now Robyn will see the monster in kody. Would not wish that even on Robyn. Robyn is completely dependent on kody & the financials the other 3 wives threw her way.
I think the extended time that Kody was away during the pandemic taught the wives that they didn’t need him around to cope. I think he brought their new independence on all by himself.
Yes. Plus, when you get past forty, what you thought was attractive and fun in your twenties, can simply look stupid and disgusting. I remember when I turned forty thinking to myself, "I have put up with stupid and kept my mouth shut about it for all these years. Life is too short, and I no longer have time for stupid people."
This makes complete sense. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and it was a relief when she was ignoring me. Also, about 15 years ago, I had a narcissistic bf who got mad that I called him out on some bs and he was incommunicado for about 1 week. It took me just 2 days to realize that I was happier without him. By the time he decided to "forgive" me, I was completely uninterested in seeing or hearing from him. I think the COVID lock downs were probably a huge relief for Janelle and Christine, the only frustration being that Kody was neglecting his kids.
He 🐺 wolfs down food like he’s starving/I wonder when’s the last time he had a home cooked meal that was actually good tasting 😂/oh yea since Christine left 😂
I see the same pattern in regards to the wives leaving him... Christine: I lost respect when he hurt my kid... Janelle: He hurt my boys and didn't reach out to Savannah... Meri: Kody said horrible things about Leon being Trans... They drew a line and Kody crossed it with his biological kids!
I think that most parents are much more likely to finally see damaging behavior when it's directed at our children long before we are able to admit that we, ourselves, are devastated as well by the same treatment.
Kody also tries to diminish Christine because people naturally gravitate towards her & he sees her as competition. He cannot distinguish between his trying to be the center of attention and her drawing in others in due to warmth, love & genuine interest in them. He is endlessly angry about how much the other family members choose to be around & value her.
You absolutely nailed it. Kody feels in competition with everyone and if one of the wives is getting more attention...rather than doing something positive to draw attention to himself, well it was easier to tear her down. Reminds me of my ex-narc. He was playing in one of those school basketball games where they bring in experienced players to go against teachers and local law enforcement. My ex loved to brag about how good he was with basketball. Well they didn't let him score even one point. During half time, they brought out a bunch of kids out to the court including a local TV new anchor and they pulled me out as well. It was fun and I felt great being the only adult female singled out to be brought out onto the court. Well after the game, his narcissistic injury from not being able to score and him feeling threatened cause I got some attention during half time, he made sure to tear me down a peg. Told me the only reason I was pulled out was cause my breast were hanging out of the shirt I was wearing. First off, I'm a size B on a good day...they can't hang out of any shirt. Secondly, the shirt I was wearing was a style I specifically bought and wore that day because he said he liked it (and he rarely makes comments about my clothing). They really are all the same. The same playbook
There is nothing more attractive that a man who is a great father to his kids. If his last interactions with them were when they were babies I don't see how that makes him the great dad that Janelle in the past has tried to portray. I think his record there was sketchy. He ignored Truely a lot of the time and she is maybe only a year older than one of Robyn's kids.
@@OuraniaAthena They are a year and a half apart, on paper, Truely was born in April 2010, Solomon was born in October 2011. They are worlds apart in maturity, all of Robins children are immature for their age, she has infantilized them all…
The way Kody acted when the fact that he had not contacted Savannah on Christmas was like it was the first time he had even though of it. He has such little introspection and ability to care for more than one person that is wasn’t until it was brought up he hadn’t even been able to formulate a “victim” reason as to why.
At least Kody didn't use the excuse that he wasn't allowed or safe to visit Janelle's apartment as to why he hasn't contacted Savannah. Mr. Accountability is a jacka$$ for neglecting Savannah. Is Kody really too busy to send Savannah a text message within six weeks? Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, How are you doing?, Thinking of you, Hi, etc...
Every time Kody opens his mouth he further solidifies a diagnosis as a narcissist. The narcissistic injury he is dealing with when Christine left him is overwhelming to him on every level. He literally cannot function and is falling apart/blowing up. He was so sure that Janelle would fall into place like she's done in the past when they separated. Can you imagine how shocked he was when she actually questioned him!?!?!? LOL!!
It is my belief that Kody Brown chose women with a little lower self-esteem purposely so that he could bend them to his will and keep them in the place he wanted them in. By making them feel less than they truly are, he could control them totally! By destroying someone’s self-esteem, they’re less apt to fight back. That’s my experience with my ex husband anyway. Well now it’s his turn, and I am thrilled that I get to see it!
I've always said that. And it's SO TELLING to me that in all the episodes of this show the last 4-5 years at least, they've never done any type of Father/Son episodes. He has all those super neat boys/men now, and they all seem to have interesting lives and good personalities, yet, Kody doesn't seem to hang out with them at ALL and hasn't since before leaving Las Vegas. I think it's because they outshine him and he knows it. A normal man would be so proud of them... And you might've noted his guy friends are also not the brightest or most good looking bulbs in the chandelier. Seem like nice enough people, but he wants them as friends because they are (to him) only there to revolve around HIS world. And boost his ego about "all his wives" etc. Proof of his insecurity is while getting ready for Aspyn's wedding he's trying his typical Kody bs-ing antics with the men in the wedding. The basically looked at him like, "Dude, this isn't about YOU." And then he finally shut the heck up. He's NOT a man's man by any means, nor is he even a ladies man.
I wonder if it’s possible that Janelle’s goal for the separation is not to resume a healthy relationship. I think it’s possible that she wants to keep Kody on the hook, letting him think that things can work out, so that he helps her to build her assets so she can be in a good place when she finally tells him she’s done.
Kody made that very weird comment about “his sons needing to get their pencils wet “ . That makes me see him as so insecure that he had to insult his teen boys in order to look like a man.He is never genuine but he is so stupid that he thinks we can’t see his ridiculous behavior. He also makes me and my friends feel like he is a creepy guy who just isn’t right . I agree.
David, if he’s truly a narcissist (which I think he is), wouldn’t it be pointless for Janelle to stay with him and try to work it out? I think she was just trying to extricate herself without setting him off, a la Christine. And is he truly feeling grief about Christine or is it just that his raging ego is bruised and he’s calling it grief to manipulate those remaining? He uses a lot of tactics to manipulate-like ignoring Savanna to hurt Janelle. Janelle said it best… She needs to be away from him to think-to not get sucked back into what has always happened-so he can’t “get in her head” and woo her back to the same ole, same ole.
I think that too! For some reason the wives have woken up and said yea I dont want that! Of course he thinks they like his body. But he doesn't "read the room" he has no clue.
Cody is delusional. He has convinced himself of his own lies and it seems that polygamy has kept him happy in his coping because he could find a happy wife instead of working on himself. Janelle is literally so level headed and he is such an asshat to her. His language is control and once he could no longer control his wives he has to find blame somewhere and Christine is an easy target since Merri stayed (and fed his ego by being his puppy) after her indiscretion.
I feel like Christine and Janelle have the confidence to leave the marriage in part because all of their children are grown. Can you imagine being a single mom to 6 kids?!? Now the kids are expressing their feelings about Kody and plural marriage so they have an influence on the moms as well. (Love this channel!!)
Thank you! I began suspecting a few years ago that Kody was possibly doing testosterone supplements, and that it could have been sending his narcissistic expression down a dark and angry road. While he's probably in good shape, it's very doubtful that he's as buff as he states. It's his vain narcissism. He's a disillusioned narcissist who will do/say anything to try to shore up his shattering internal world.
I think the wives woke up around the same the children are grown, money was more stable, they could take a deep breath, the distraction of raising a family especially a large family where gone . The wives could acknowledge their relationship they had/have with Kody wasnt good to begin with & realizing your a after thought, changes you.
Kody is 'grieving' over a relationship with Christine that he had thrown away years earlier. Before Robyn came along, Christine was the 'fun wife', the 'mistress wife', the 'wife he could go play with', the wife that he showered with Christmas presents, the wife that kept validating his masculinity by continuing to have his babies. Kody replaced Christine with Robyn. Christine was demoted to family party planner and daycare. She was demoted to a family role in the Brown family business with no 'wife role' with Kody. That's what Kody drew in the sand on the beach in Galveston with therapist Nancy. Christine was crushed. Kody did not see that as a problem.
OMG! The look on Kody's face when Savannah's name was mentioned. He hadn't given Savannah a thought since her birthday in early December. He had forgotten about her. I wonder how long his amnesia would have gone on if TLC had not wanted to film Kody and Janelle together for the show in late January/early February.
I think polygamous men have wives that fuss and make over them so much just to get any crumb of attention. Janelle or Robin probably told him a few times that they like his body. He feels good so he visits more often. The women’s kids get more attention and the wives are less lonely. Probably all the wives had a hand in helping him become the narcissist that he is today. Just a thought. I in no way blame this on the women but I do think some of this can be blamed on the natural degradation that occurs from polygamy.
This was such a weird conversation. What I saw was Janelle trying really hard not to trigger him to yell at her again while buying herself some time to get her exit plan together. What I saw from Kody was him attempting to derail the conversation by talking about everything else but their actual problems and bringing up things that are off topic to focus the conversation outside of his own culpability in an effort to avoid accepting any responsibility for their problems. It felt to me like he was giving himself an out because if he’s so focused on “grieving Christine” he doesn’t have to actually deal with their problems and talk about how he has been ignoring her for weeks after having a raging meltdown the last time they spoke.
My ex husband use to talk down to me all the time. He would tell me I wasn't good enough for anyone, "good luck finding someone better than me", and always talked about my weight. Fifteen years later. I found the man that treats me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, treats me with respect, and shows me so much love. Kody reminds me so much of my ex husband. 🤢
Ashlin, me too! After 15 years of being married to a man who was constantly telling me I needed to lose weight, I needed to listen to the news and read the newspaper because I wasn't very "intellectual," and I needed to "do something different with my hair" evening tho I changed it frequently. Constantly complaining and putting me down, he shattered my self esteem. It took me years to climb out of that hole, and I didn't even realize how bad it was until a few years after he was gone. Our 3 children (in their late 30's and early 40's now) have told me things he said to them while I wasn't around that would have resulted in his death if I had known. It sounds like our ex-husbands could have been twins! I'm so happy to hear that you found someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated! We separated in 1991 and divorced in 1993. It took years, but I finally remarried in 2005, and he is the best thing that's ever happened (besides my children) to me. He adores my children and they feel the same. You'd never guess he isn't the biological grandfather of all the grandkids. When they come visit, they run to him first. No one should have to live with someone who is supposed to love you, but treats you like you are less than zero!
Kody's continual digs and insults toward Christine were meant to destroy her confidence and hurt her heart to keep her in line. Christine's light has always shone bright because of the love, effort, teaching and care she put into the children and the entire family unit for YEARS. The children all clearly adore and love Christine, and have continually said so, well into their adult years, because she was always the person that was there for them and showing them love every day. Kody can't stand that, and he'll do-and say- ANYTHING to elevate himself and attempt to maintain his god-like status in his mind. He's failed miserably and repeatedly at being a good father and leader of the family through the years and now that Christine has left and taken power away from Kody, he's spiraling. He'll continue to lash out at Christine (and blame her for everything) now that Janelle and Meri are leaving the family too. Nothing can ever be Kody's fault, because in Kody's mind, he's perfect.
Yes a way to control her, besides he has treated Meri like crap for years and she never left, I think he has always been this way but the mask has slipped the past two seasons,
During Covid he showed them that they didn't need him. Two were happier without him there. Then once we opened up he made no effort to reconnect with any of his wives. He's still holding a grudge that they didn't wash their mail.
Kody has lost the income from 3 people, and their share of earnings from each episode. That is the true root of his anger. And if Robyn truly wanted the big family she would have been more vocal with Kody about it "on camera" and off camera with her sisterwives. She was just as jealous of them as they were of her.
I don’t know what exactly opened Janelle’s eyes but him not going to Ysbel’s surgery and then going to Colorado for his friends wedding. Were the catalyst for Christine, she even said she realized while she was there she didn’t need him, she could do hard things by herself. Maybe Janelle just realized she didn’t need him and all his baggage either.
And don't forget that at the last reunion, Kody said, Christine would never get another man because that man would look at the fact Christine left a man like Kody and wouldn't be interested in Christine.
In addition to hurting Christine... ... Christine's family are "elders" or individuals with clout and pedigree in the AUB church. Kody did think by marrying Christine's he would be connected in the same way (like marrying a Kennedy in 1960s). However those of Christine's family who have positions of power in AUB church didn't invite him into their inner circle and he has been resentful ans takes it out on christine
Women in menopause go through big changes (also in life and goals) and I think Christine, Merri and Janelle are realizing that they were always taking care of others (including Cody). Now their focus is own their own lives and needs. Well done to them!
Savannah , Ysabel when she had surgery , etc etc etc . Abandonment is a pattern when there are too many people to spread your attention to and when your main focus is yourself .
I think Janelle, is using a break instead of divorce to get some space to figure out what to do financially. She is 10/10 out of the relationship but needs to get her bag back. I also think she used Christine’s leaving as a thermometer for how it will go when she leaves.
I think Janelle is quiet quitting (which we now know is true, she is gone.) I think her religious beliefs caused her to pause, plus keeping an eye on her interest in the land. But I am sure she knew she would not go back to Kody ... she was stalling until she got it sorted out about how to do it in her head.
I can understand Janelle's desire to stay separated becauwe when they are together, sge gets flustered. He love bombs 💣 her/diverts attention, and she has a hard time thinking clearly, expressing herself coherently, and distracts her. (all of which were showcased in this lunch) She needs time to get her thoughts clearer, then a counselor/3rd party to mediate their interaction, stopping him from interrupting, distracting, etc.
She sure didn’t get love bombed the last time they were in the restaurant…. He questioned whether they were really married anymore….Probably to set up a ‘Meri’ situation and pave the way for more, younger wives. Of course, he talks over her and cuts her off, just like the two ‘first wives’.
"You didn't think I'd miss you, you didn't think I'd want to kiss you on the lips?" Ugggh trying to manipulate her feelings, trying to throw out those bread crumbs of attention and affection. That's why COVID brought everything in focus for the ladies. Even though he wasn't spending his time equally, he was sending SOME time with them. I believe over the years he's learned how to use his time wisely as a manipulator.
I agree with the doctor’s assessment. Continue separation is not a good sign however she threw him a bone about going to therapy/counseling however he dismissed. As we seen in the past episodes and straight from Christine , Kody is not going to therapy.
@@daphnewilliams5984Since we know she already left, I took her wanting to stay separated was her building her exit strategy. She even brought up Coyote Pass in this conversation. I saw it as her testing the waters. To see how willing he (and Roby) would be to still pay off the property. Especially since all of her assets are tied to it.
As our brains mature,some things that were ok are no longer ok.Then there is a cumulative effect that piles bad behavior. The back surgery was the last straw of a pile of behaviors.Asking Janelle to kick her boys out was close to the last straw.Then financial issues sealed the decision.
Agree with you absolutely that Kody's refrain that he was never attracted to Christine was meant to punish and blame her for speaking up (and perhaps a way of supporting Robyn who may have been intimidated by Christine). And, yes, Kody citing his "hot" pecs and abs were a way of gaining admiration, while trying to suggest Janelle is shallow. Great analysis.
He also talked about and mentioned Christine all the time during the convention. Which was probably a mix of not wanting to talk about the problems with Janell and being mad at Christine
There are signs of Kody's narcissism in earlier seasons even though he obviously wasn't so openly cruel back then. But the big swing in his personality seems to be before covid, when he drew up plans for one big house. When the wives weren't all on board, that's when he started turning dark. When covid started, some of the wives suggested gathering the family together for the "two weeks to slow the curve" so they could work on the relationships but Kody said no - he wanted everyone separate. Considering how he'd subtly tried to pit wives against each other through the years, this seems like one of those triangulation tactics to keep everyone focused on him. He's messed up.
Or is it that Robyn didn’t want the others staying at her house during that time (to slow the curve on Covid) as that was the only place large enough for the whole family to shelter in place at?
it would never work bc the older kids had left the house and were working or going to school. he couldn’t control that to make them stay at home and that sent him. They had girlfriends and social lives. It’s ok for him to be holed up with his 4 wives but if one of his kids wants to be with their gf he had a problem. it’s gross.
What you said about Kody putting Christine down to keep her in line is a all new low against him. I never thought about that. Your right when I think about how bad he is spiraling because she had the audacity to leave him. I wonder if he talks about Christine to Robin all the time like he does with Janelle. I hope so because Robin is the worst.
He's trying to manipulate Janelle into hating Christine too. The fact that Janelle picked Christine and all their kids over him and his wife has stunned him. You got this Janelle!!! I bet he rants and broods all the time. Probably a joy to live with.
The reason the wives have kind of woke up to his behavior is because their kids are mostly grown up now. When your kids grow up, it shifts your marriage relationship. If you have not invested in the relationship and built up your marriage, once the kids become adults, your marriage can collapse. The wives are not busy raising kids. They realized long term that there is nothing there for them except loneliness. They want more than Cody could give, and in his selfishness, he can’t see it.
Both Kody and Robyn are stuck on the 'I don't understand what happened with Christine' thing and are not moving forward. How difficult is it to understand that she wasn't happy and she left?
1:34 NAILED IT and I’m only one and a half minutes in❣️ I love your analysis!!! I absolutely adore watching you and your wife interact while watching the episodes. I love how you look at her!!! ♥️❤️♥️
Kody abandoned the marriage to Christine, that’s why she moved his stuff to the garage and ultimately that’s why she moved away. Why would she stick around? What did he expect from her? I can’t imagine how he can see himself as the victim
He says that to Christine because of the nachos she ate in front of him 25 years ago. He’s such a delusional narcissist. Glad she finally left him and he can feel the rejection he’s been putting on Christine and meri for so many years.
What has changed is that they are no longer surrounded by the cult. To maintain such a difficult and extreme path, you need the community around you reinforcing that the life you are living is "normal". They writing was on the wall when they left Utah.
There is no excuse for neglecting his daughter. Being kicked out, or working crazy hours does not prevent you from sending a quick text to tell her you love her and miss her. And there’s no way he was slammed with “business” on Christmas Day so much that he couldn’t give her a quick call or drop by a present. Absolutely inexcusable neglect.
I don’t understand Kody’s inability to see or call his daughter for weeks, including Christmas. But, he did say I see my children because I am with their mother in her house and they are there. It is like he has never formed a connected parent-child relationship with any of them. When his children become adults they have no reason to call him. And narcissistically, their father, even though he is their father, never calls them.
Meaning Robyn's house and Robyn's children. He says he can't go to the other wives' homes, so he can't see his other children. He can't take Truely to the movies? He can't take Ysabel out to lunch? How much effort does it really take?
You’re right what’s interesting though is I did some research and found out Christine was extremely popular and liked in the church. She was very bubbly and friendly well liked and her grandfather was the founder of the AUB so her family was considered royalty and their church, and Kody was not that popular in their church and since being a narcissist, I feel like he was always wanting to bring Christine down notch or too kinda like “ put her in her place “ by constantly reminding her that he was not attracted to her, and that she was lucky to be included in his family, which is totally ridiculous, and so narcissistic and cruel so happy she got out you can see just how happy she is now it’s written all over her face
I think he was always threatened by christine, she was "higher" up in the church than him (which is why i think they got married to begin with, he just wanted the clout) AND she raised the kids and smoothed out the relationship between meri and janelle. She basically held the family together. He was jealous of her status as a mormon and as the "heart" of the family
As for Kody’s hair…I call them his Tentacles~. O He reminds me of the lit’l Pink Octopus “Finding Nemo” swishing his tentacles all the time…., I crack myself up!
I agree with your point about separation not usually being a great solution but in Janelle's case it made sense to me. She said that every time he returns after a fight/separation, they don't deal with the issues and it just gets swept under the rug. Which of course it does, he slithers out of responsibility every time, and he twists everything she says to make himself the innocent party. Glad to see her realizing this.
Well when a woman is left alone without their man they start to look at their lives and they figure out they are better off without them, but going to a therapist that doesn't recognize NPD disorder well the victim always gets blamed..Kody is upset with Janelle still being friends with Kristine because if you are not for the narcissist then you're against the narcissist..
The change with the OG 3 wives is that they all turned 50 & said “enough is enough”. There’s something magical about turning 50. You have a much clearer view of who you are & what you want from life. You’ve sacrificed & put up with & have seen A LOT by the time you’re that age & for the majority of us, we’re just done tolerating Bull Crap from anyone, anymore. That has been my life experience & what I have witnessed with every woman in my life. It has a “Been there, done that, didn’t like it” sort of feel to it. It’s actually quite freeing & empowering to say; “I’m/You’re not going to do that anymore & I don’t care if you don’t like it”.
I’m not married, but I must tell you, “Thanks for enlightening me on these issues through the show.” I loved your take on working together instead of separating if the goal is to stay married and talking to a 3rd party instead of constantly unloading on your partner. I’ll remember those tips.
I agree with the other commenters who said Janelle was separating to buy time to leave officially-not to reconcile. Also, they made great points about the kids being gone, so now the wives can reflect much more on the marriage. That’s why it seems that they’re all waking up at the same time.
It's always been mind-blowing to me that Kody is NEVER willing to accept accountability for anything. He never considers how the opposite party is feeling or have any empathy for them. That is incredibly frustrating to watch, episode after episode.
I think Robyn is finally having a real sister wife experience!! Others are making decisions (to leave..hallelujah), and that is out of her control!! So.. now she can understand (well, one could hope) what plural marriage has been for Christine,Meri, and Janelle all these years. I mean she and Kody have been making all the decisions. ..imo
I think part of what changed is several of the children are adults that began experiencing their own relationships and those relationships got compared to their parents relationships. That made it easier for the moms to see how bad their relationships with Kody were.
He’s always been obsessed with how he looks. In the episode of him and Robyn’s honeymoon he’s caught flexing in the mirror and Robyn goes “oh the wives were right, they gave me a kody survival book and said he’s always flexing in the mirror”. 😂
This is rude of me but if he did not have the little curls on his forehead he would have the same hairstyle as Larry of the three stooges. His vanity is ridiculous.
I think Kody’s ability to be a good father was held his marriages together. When he started ignoring Christine and Janelle’s children, that was the final straw for each woman.
I agree with all your thoughtful and insightful analysis. However, I was hoping you would address Kody's accusation that others do not value his two youngest children Ariella and Solomon. I was so glad Janelle stopped him, but it fits in with Kody's always feeling sorry for himself and seeing himself as the one who is being attacked. I would like to ask you if that describing himself as a victim, is part of his narcissistic personality or where does that come from. I don't understand the root but I can see how it serves him to think it is everyone else s fault that way he never has to accept responsibility for his actions. I have an answer to your question about what changed, from a woman's perspective sometimes we do not stand up for ourselves our value ourselves enough to walk away when we are being mistreated but when we see our children being mistreated we become courageous and strong enough to leave or to say enough is enough. I think both Christine and Janelle saw what Kody's mistreatment was doing to their children and they were no longer willing to put up with it.
Other psychologists I follow or read discuss the "vulnerable" narcissist, the one easily wounded that others seemingly don't care as much as they do about whatever is their focus or exhibit an "the world just doesn't understand me, recognize my greatness, really missed out on a good thing by rejecting my job application, etc." I've seen it described as just another manifestation of the superiority coping mechanism, where if others aren't in perfect alignment with the individuals wants and needs, they are the problem, rather than just being someone with a different perspective of needs that are a bit different at the moment.
The final straw for BOTH Janelle and Christine was that Kody was treating their children like crap. By the time Meri leaves (early 2022)- it was probably over the same reason. Leon was transitioning and Kody disrespected them.
Janelle wants a break because she is done, but she trying to manage him. By managing him, she is trying to get out without the same treatment as Christine. Janelle is a smart level headed women, she doesn't want to deal with all that knife to kidneys crap.
It was Covid that really brought the changes as the three wives discovered during Kody’s absence that they were able to cope without him. Happier even without him. If Covid hadn’t happened they may never have had that period of time to make those discoveries.
Kody is not distressed about Christine. He is distressed about his wounded ego. Somebody rejected him. HIM - the guy with the shoulders, and the great hair, and the abs. The nerve!
I can't hear "take a break" without thinking of Ross and Rachel. ;) Two different people can mean two different things by that. One can mean "temporarily" while the other means "break up."
Years ago one of Kody’s classmates said he wasn’t at all surprised that Kody was on a reality show because in school he always had to be the center of attention…..
Holy cannoli this was over the top! The look on your faces was priceless! Neither of you could believe he was that delusional! He can’t see his kids unless they are under their moms??? What happens if he takes them out to dinner alone??? He won’t be able to talk to his own children?
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It IS true. Look back at the previous seasons. He CONSTANTLY took digs at Christine's attractiveness. He is a vulgar narcissist.
He even said so in their book... the infamous nachos story. He didn't ever find her attractive, he only married her out of obligation/her pedigree.
@@SaguaroBlossomShe is beautiful. By any objective measure, given her age, she is stunning.
I did hear an interview with a former member of the AUB Church saying that most marriages aren't based on love or attraction.
I think he’s just saying Kody is saying he wasn’t attracted to Christine to hurt her
Which is wild cause she was the prettiest of them all
Kody doesn’t love anyone but Kody. He is a true narcissist that measures his relationship based on the giving to him. He just isn’t capable of loving for the emotional need of companionship. That is why his relationships with his children as they have matured has broken down as well, their focus isn’t singularly on him anymore and his response pushes them away even more as they realize love is only a one way street for him.
I think he tried to ruin her self-esteem because she was the most social and friendly and likely to find somebody else if she left him.
He was jealous of her engaging personality
He was jealous of her higher standing in their faith community
in his mind,& in their culture/religion, she was high status.
He married her for prestige. It is hilarious that she is marrying a Wooley.
The Wooleys were founders of Mormon fundamentalism and the AUB. Google John Wickersham Wooley and Lorin Calvin Wooley to read their biographies.
He said once she's a flirt. I think he wanted to make her feel bad/ not confident in herself.
I agree. He wanted to bring her down. He also knew that many of the viewers favored Christine. He was jealous. She was naturally charismatic.
The only time Janelle is allowed to talk is when Kody is shoveling food into his mouth. He never lets her finish a sentence.
He need to eat more and faster
I've been saying this for months. He is ON STERIODS AND AMPHETAMINES.
So right about the hair. He’s always flipping it around. the tell for me was when he was officiating his friend’s wedding and the speech was all about him! Then he danced at the reception like a desperate child looking for attention.
I truly feel that if Kody didn’t ignore Savannah for Christmas and if he allowed Janelle to talk during their meeting then she would have said let’s reconcile. But he didn’t let her finish a sentence, he didn’t apologize or validate her feelings on anything. It was all ME ME ME!!! Janelle is finally seeing how selfish and narcissistic he is. She’s realizing she is happier alone than with a man who clearly doesn’t care how she feels.
So very right
She probably would have because the way he treated Mary wasn't a deal-breaker for her and the way that he treated Christine wasn't either and quite honestly the way the kids told her they felt in Vegas when they were told they were moving didn't bother her she still did what Cody wanted so I don't have as much love for Janelle as other people
Absolutely id rather live separately in a trailer no question
And he kept talking about Christine!
I think he didn't let Janelle finish because he knew she'd say some piercing truth and it would rattle him for a second.
At the 6 minute mark you touched on something I picked up that nobody else is talking about- kody walks in to the restaurant putting it on for real. He made sure to show up bubbly, refusing to blow up, and made sure to flirt with her. He really expected to show up, win her back without taking actual accountability, and move on just how things were. I suspect he's done this in the past every time. When he's ready to take them back he just does. And like you said- now it's not working on them anymore and he's baffled.
Agree completely. Kody gives a wife several weeks away so he can sweep in sweet talking & pretend the bad things are over & swept away. He asks for a hug & a kiss on the lips & you could see it almost worked with Janelle until she said - still want to be separate. He probably went home to Robyn & blew up. Now Robyn will see the monster in kody. Would not wish that even on Robyn. Robyn is completely dependent on kody & the financials the other 3 wives threw her way.
Kody was so flustered when Janelle said that he didn’t even contact Savannah at Christmas it was so great he was finally lost for words .
Indeed. It was a rare and glorious moment.
Yes! That Stunned Pikachu face was priceless!😂
It was like someone had poured water on his internal hard drive and he was buffering 😂
I think the extended time that Kody was away during the pandemic taught the wives that they didn’t need him around to cope. I think he brought their new independence on all by himself.
Yes. Plus, when you get past forty, what you thought was attractive and fun in your twenties, can simply look stupid and disgusting. I remember when I turned forty thinking to myself, "I have put up with stupid and kept my mouth shut about it for all these years. Life is too short, and I no longer have time for stupid people."
Yep! He singlehandedly revealed that life without him is far better than life with him.
This makes complete sense. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and it was a relief when she was ignoring me. Also, about 15 years ago, I had a narcissistic bf who got mad that I called him out on some bs and he was incommunicado for about 1 week. It took me just 2 days to realize that I was happier without him. By the time he decided to "forgive" me, I was completely uninterested in seeing or hearing from him. I think the COVID lock downs were probably a huge relief for Janelle and Christine, the only frustration being that Kody was neglecting his kids.
No Question about it...
yup this is what I was thinking. totally agree
Janelle has always caved in the past. That is why Cody was shocked. Good for Janelle for standing her ground on a separation!
He 🐺 wolfs down food like he’s starving/I wonder when’s the last time he had a home cooked meal that was actually good tasting 😂/oh yea since Christine left 😂
I see the same pattern in regards to the wives leaving him...
Christine: I lost respect when he hurt my kid...
Janelle: He hurt my boys and didn't reach out to Savannah...
Meri: Kody said horrible things about Leon being Trans...
They drew a line and Kody crossed it with his biological kids!
It is not surprising that tipped them over.
I think that most parents are much more likely to finally see damaging behavior when it's directed at our children long before we are able to admit that we, ourselves, are devastated as well by the same treatment.
Yep. Most parents-if you make them choose between anything and their kids-their kids are gonna win every time.
I am wondering if Kody's mental health issues and behaviors have been passed to Mariah.
@@PatriotGilroy Leon.
Kody is constantly wanting everyone to take responsibility for their actions, yet he refuses to accept responsibility for his own actions
Kody also tries to diminish Christine because people naturally gravitate towards her & he sees her as competition. He cannot distinguish between his trying to be the center of attention and her drawing in others in due to warmth, love & genuine interest in them. He is endlessly angry about how much the other family members choose to be around & value her.
You absolutely nailed it. Kody feels in competition with everyone and if one of the wives is getting more attention...rather than doing something positive to draw attention to himself, well it was easier to tear her down. Reminds me of my ex-narc. He was playing in one of those school basketball games where they bring in experienced players to go against teachers and local law enforcement. My ex loved to brag about how good he was with basketball. Well they didn't let him score even one point. During half time, they brought out a bunch of kids out to the court including a local TV new anchor and they pulled me out as well. It was fun and I felt great being the only adult female singled out to be brought out onto the court. Well after the game, his narcissistic injury from not being able to score and him feeling threatened cause I got some attention during half time, he made sure to tear me down a peg. Told me the only reason I was pulled out was cause my breast were hanging out of the shirt I was wearing. First off, I'm a size B on a good day...they can't hang out of any shirt. Secondly, the shirt I was wearing was a style I specifically bought and wore that day because he said he liked it (and he rarely makes comments about my clothing). They really are all the same. The same playbook
Kody should sacrifice gym time for Savannah.
There is nothing more attractive that a man who is a great father to his kids. If his last interactions with them were when they were babies I don't see how that makes him the great dad that Janelle in the past has tried to portray. I think his record there was sketchy. He ignored Truely a lot of the time and she is maybe only a year older than one of Robyn's kids.
He has to get buffed up so he can find more wives
@@OuraniaAthena They are a year and a half apart, on paper, Truely was born in April 2010, Solomon was born in October 2011.
They are worlds apart in maturity, all of Robins children are immature for their age, she has infantilized them all…
Not just Savanna but the other kids as well. Deadbeat Dad at its finest.
😂😂😂😂😂
The way Kody acted when the fact that he had not contacted Savannah on Christmas was like it was the first time he had even though of it. He has such little introspection and ability to care for more than one person that is wasn’t until it was brought up he hadn’t even been able to formulate a “victim” reason as to why.
Exactly!
Yes! It was clear it had never occurred to him that he ignored Savannah. He forgot about her completely.
At least Kody didn't use the excuse that he wasn't allowed or safe to visit Janelle's apartment as to why he hasn't contacted Savannah.
Mr. Accountability is a jacka$$ for neglecting Savannah. Is Kody really too busy to send Savannah a text message within six weeks?
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, How are you doing?, Thinking of you, Hi, etc...
The opposite is true: Janelle is not safe in her own home with K.
Kody’s words aren’t worth the air they fill.
Every time Kody opens his mouth he further solidifies a diagnosis as a narcissist. The narcissistic injury he is dealing with when Christine left him is overwhelming to him on every level. He literally cannot function and is falling apart/blowing up. He was so sure that Janelle would fall into place like she's done in the past when they separated. Can you imagine how shocked he was when she actually questioned him!?!?!? LOL!!
I also wonder about histrionic personality disorder.
It is my belief that Kody Brown chose women with a little lower self-esteem purposely so that he could bend them to his will and keep them in the place he wanted them in. By making them feel less than they truly are, he could control them totally!
By destroying someone’s self-esteem, they’re less apt to fight back. That’s my experience with my ex husband anyway.
Well now it’s his turn, and I am thrilled that I get to see it!
Polygamy requires subservient, insecure, dependent women. Normal women won't put up with it.
I've always said that. And it's SO TELLING to me that in all the episodes of this show the last 4-5 years at least, they've never done any type of Father/Son episodes. He has all those super neat boys/men now, and they all seem to have interesting lives and good personalities, yet, Kody doesn't seem to hang out with them at ALL and hasn't since before leaving Las Vegas. I think it's because they outshine him and he knows it. A normal man would be so proud of them...
And you might've noted his guy friends are also not the brightest or most good looking bulbs in the chandelier. Seem like nice enough people, but he wants them as friends because they are (to him) only there to revolve around HIS world. And boost his ego about "all his wives" etc.
Proof of his insecurity is while getting ready for Aspyn's wedding he's trying his typical Kody bs-ing antics with the men in the wedding. The basically looked at him like, "Dude, this isn't about YOU." And then he finally shut the heck up. He's NOT a man's man by any means, nor is he even a ladies man.
Women with amazing self-esteem wouldn’t settle for polygamy… it’s built into the whole system.
I wonder if it’s possible that Janelle’s goal for the separation is not to resume a healthy relationship. I think it’s possible that she wants to keep Kody on the hook, letting him think that things can work out, so that he helps her to build her assets so she can be in a good place when she finally tells him she’s done.
I hope so . He certainly deserves it but somehow i doubt it. She is not that kind of devious unfortunately for her.
Kody made that very weird comment about “his sons needing to get their pencils wet “ . That makes me see him as so insecure that he had to insult his teen boys in order to look like a man.He is never genuine but he is so stupid that he thinks we can’t see his ridiculous behavior.
He also makes me and my friends feel like he is a creepy guy who just isn’t right . I agree.
It shows what he thinks being in a relationship is all about
I think he was projecting with that comment.
@@seameology Hahaha..he is such a cringe worthy character.Just a really gross person.
David, if he’s truly a narcissist (which I think he is), wouldn’t it be pointless for Janelle to stay with him and try to work it out? I think she was just trying to extricate herself without setting him off, a la Christine. And is he truly feeling grief about Christine or is it just that his raging ego is bruised and he’s calling it grief to manipulate those remaining? He uses a lot of tactics to manipulate-like ignoring Savanna to hurt Janelle. Janelle said it best… She needs to be away from him to think-to not get sucked back into what has always happened-so he can’t “get in her head” and woo her back to the same ole, same ole.
I think that too! For some reason the wives have woken up and said yea I dont want that! Of course he thinks they like his body. But he doesn't "read the room" he has no clue.
Ok that picture of him looking down is poetic justice!!
Cody is delusional. He has convinced himself of his own lies and it seems that polygamy has kept him happy in his coping because he could find a happy wife instead of working on himself. Janelle is literally so level headed and he is such an asshat to her. His language is control and once he could no longer control his wives he has to find blame somewhere and Christine is an easy target since Merri stayed (and fed his ego by being his puppy) after her indiscretion.
I feel like Christine and Janelle have the confidence to leave the marriage in part because all of their children are grown. Can you imagine being a single mom to 6 kids?!? Now the kids are expressing their feelings about Kody and plural marriage so they have an influence on the moms as well. (Love this channel!!)
Thank you! I began suspecting a few years ago that Kody was possibly doing testosterone supplements, and that it could have been sending his narcissistic expression down a dark and angry road. While he's probably in good shape, it's very doubtful that he's as buff as he states. It's his vain narcissism. He's a disillusioned narcissist who will do/say anything to try to shore up his shattering internal world.
I think the wives woke up around the same the children are grown, money was more stable, they could take a deep breath, the distraction of raising a family especially a large family where gone . The wives could acknowledge their relationship they had/have with Kody wasnt good to begin with & realizing your a after thought, changes you.
I think you are right when you say he is trying to hurt Christine by saying awful things to her.
Kody is 'grieving' over a relationship with Christine that he had thrown away years earlier. Before Robyn came along, Christine was the 'fun wife', the 'mistress wife', the 'wife he could go play with', the wife that he showered with Christmas presents, the wife that kept validating his masculinity by continuing to have his babies. Kody replaced Christine with Robyn. Christine was demoted to family party planner and daycare. She was demoted to a family role in the Brown family business with no 'wife role' with Kody. That's what Kody drew in the sand on the beach in Galveston with therapist Nancy. Christine was crushed. Kody did not see that as a problem.
I think Meri brought Robyn in to knock Christine out of the top spot
@@marywilliams5262, I never trusted Meri!
I don't really see that. Christine's only value for Kody is her fertility. She's been ignored from the start.
OMG! The look on Kody's face when Savannah's name was mentioned. He hadn't given Savannah a thought since her birthday in early December. He had forgotten about her. I wonder how long his amnesia would have gone on if TLC had not wanted to film Kody and Janelle together for the show in late January/early February.
The abs😂😂😂😂 I was floored by his description of himself!
I think polygamous men have wives that fuss and make over them so much just to get any crumb of attention. Janelle or Robin probably told him a few times that they like his body. He feels good so he visits more often. The women’s kids get more attention and the wives are less lonely. Probably all the wives had a hand in helping him become the narcissist that he is today. Just a thought.
I in no way blame this on the women but I do think some of this can be blamed on the natural degradation that occurs from polygamy.
This was such a weird conversation. What I saw was Janelle trying really hard not to trigger him to yell at her again while buying herself some time to get her exit plan together. What I saw from Kody was him attempting to derail the conversation by talking about everything else but their actual problems and bringing up things that are off topic to focus the conversation outside of his own culpability in an effort to avoid accepting any responsibility for their problems. It felt to me like he was giving himself an out because if he’s so focused on “grieving Christine” he doesn’t have to actually deal with their problems and talk about how he has been ignoring her for weeks after having a raging meltdown the last time they spoke.
My ex husband use to talk down to me all the time. He would tell me I wasn't good enough for anyone, "good luck finding someone better than me", and always talked about my weight. Fifteen years later. I found the man that treats me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, treats me with respect, and shows me so much love. Kody reminds me so much of my ex husband. 🤢
So happy you found someone who respects and treats you well. 🤍
I’m in the middle of divorcing my abusive husband. He tells me that nobody will want me. I hope to get my own happy ending one day!!
Good for you! That’s wonderful!
Ashlin, me too! After 15 years of being married to a man who was constantly telling me I needed to lose weight, I needed to listen to the news and read the newspaper because I wasn't very "intellectual," and I needed to "do something different with my hair" evening tho I changed it frequently. Constantly complaining and putting me down, he shattered my self esteem. It took me years to climb out of that hole, and I didn't even realize how bad it was until a few years after he was gone. Our 3 children (in their late 30's and early 40's now) have told me things he said to them while I wasn't around that would have resulted in his death if I had known. It sounds like our ex-husbands could have been twins! I'm so happy to hear that you found someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated! We separated in 1991 and divorced in 1993. It took years, but I finally remarried in 2005, and he is the best thing that's ever happened (besides my children) to me. He adores my children and they feel the same. You'd never guess he isn't the biological grandfather of all the grandkids. When they come visit, they run to him first.
No one should have to live with someone who is supposed to love you, but treats you like you are less than zero!
Me too ..
Kody's continual digs and insults toward Christine were meant to destroy her confidence and hurt her heart to keep her in line. Christine's light has always shone bright because of the love, effort, teaching and care she put into the children and the entire family unit for YEARS. The children all clearly adore and love Christine, and have continually said so, well into their adult years, because she was always the person that was there for them and showing them love every day. Kody can't stand that, and he'll do-and say- ANYTHING to elevate himself and attempt to maintain his god-like status in his mind. He's failed miserably and repeatedly at being a good father and leader of the family through the years and now that Christine has left and taken power away from Kody, he's spiraling. He'll continue to lash out at Christine (and blame her for everything) now that Janelle and Meri are leaving the family too. Nothing can ever be Kody's fault, because in Kody's mind, he's perfect.
Exactly. He really is a study in narcissism. I'm so glad the ladies are free of him.
Well stated!
Yes a way to control her, besides he has treated Meri like crap for years and she never left, I think he has always been this way but the mask has slipped the past two seasons,
During Covid he showed them that they didn't need him. Two were happier without him there. Then once we opened up he made no effort to reconnect with any of his wives. He's still holding a grudge that they didn't wash their mail.
Kody has lost the income from 3 people, and their share of earnings from each episode. That is the true root of his anger. And if Robyn truly wanted the big family she would have been more vocal with Kody about it "on camera" and off camera with her sisterwives. She was just as jealous of them as they were of her.
I don’t know what exactly opened Janelle’s eyes but him not going to Ysbel’s surgery and then going to Colorado for his friends wedding. Were the catalyst for Christine, she even said she realized while she was there she didn’t need him, she could do hard things by herself. Maybe Janelle just realized she didn’t need him and all his baggage either.
It does to appear that was the case. I wonder what really tipped Meri over and out. I think there is an event to cause her to say I am out as well.
@@daphnewilliams5984 Me too, they waited until filming ended to announce it, not sure if we will ever find out.
And don't forget that at the last reunion, Kody said, Christine would never get another man because that man would look at the fact Christine left a man like Kody and wouldn't be interested in Christine.
IKR, he’s such a little man child…😂🤣😂
In addition to hurting Christine... ... Christine's family are "elders" or individuals with clout and pedigree in the AUB church. Kody did think by marrying Christine's he would be connected in the same way (like marrying a Kennedy in 1960s). However those of Christine's family who have positions of power in AUB church didn't invite him into their inner circle and he has been resentful ans takes it out on christine
Women in menopause go through big changes (also in life and goals) and I think Christine, Merri and Janelle are realizing that they were always taking care of others (including Cody). Now their focus is own their own lives and needs. Well done to them!
Savannah , Ysabel when she had surgery , etc etc etc . Abandonment is a pattern when there are too many people to spread your attention to and when your main focus is yourself .
I think Janelle, is using a break instead of divorce to get some space to figure out what to do financially. She is 10/10 out of the relationship but needs to get her bag back. I also think she used Christine’s leaving as a thermometer for how it will go when she leaves.
I think Janelle is quiet quitting (which we now know is true, she is gone.) I think her religious beliefs caused her to pause, plus keeping an eye on her interest in the land. But I am sure she knew she would not go back to Kody ... she was stalling until she got it sorted out about how to do it in her head.
BINGO!
🎯
I can understand Janelle's desire to stay separated becauwe when they are together, sge gets flustered. He love bombs 💣 her/diverts attention, and she has a hard time thinking clearly, expressing herself coherently, and distracts her. (all of which were showcased in this lunch) She needs time to get her thoughts clearer, then a counselor/3rd party to mediate their interaction, stopping him from interrupting, distracting, etc.
She sure didn’t get love bombed the last time they were in the restaurant…. He questioned whether they were really married anymore….Probably to set up a ‘Meri’ situation and pave the way for more, younger wives. Of course, he talks over her and cuts her off, just like the two ‘first wives’.
"You didn't think I'd miss you, you didn't think I'd want to kiss you on the lips?" Ugggh trying to manipulate her feelings, trying to throw out those bread crumbs of attention and affection. That's why COVID brought everything in focus for the ladies. Even though he wasn't spending his time equally, he was sending SOME time with them. I believe over the years he's learned how to use his time wisely as a manipulator.
I agree with the doctor’s assessment. Continue separation is not a good sign however she threw him a bone about going to therapy/counseling however he dismissed. As we seen in the past episodes and straight from Christine , Kody is not going to therapy.
It seemed like she was biting her tongue a lot at lunch. Plus, every time she went to speak, he cut her off...so happy she's left him..
@@daphnewilliams5984Since we know she already left, I took her wanting to stay separated was her building her exit strategy. She even brought up Coyote Pass in this conversation. I saw it as her testing the waters. To see how willing he (and Roby) would be to still pay off the property. Especially since all of her assets are tied to it.
He can’t get it that Christine actually left him a big ego drop to his ego .
LOL. NICE I LOVE IT 💕
As our brains mature,some things that were ok are no longer ok.Then there is a cumulative effect that piles bad behavior. The back surgery was the last straw of a pile of behaviors.Asking Janelle to kick her boys out was close to the last straw.Then financial issues sealed the decision.
Agree with you absolutely that Kody's refrain that he was never attracted to Christine was meant to punish and blame her for speaking up (and perhaps a way of supporting Robyn who may have been intimidated by Christine). And, yes, Kody citing his "hot" pecs and abs were a way of gaining admiration, while trying to suggest Janelle is shallow. Great analysis.
He also talked about and mentioned Christine all the time during the convention. Which was probably a mix of not wanting to talk about the problems with Janell and being mad at Christine
There was an episode where Christine said “ we have no trouble in that area” I actually think he was the must attracted to Christine
I think so too before Robyn came along. Maybe not when they first got married but I think they got a lot closer until Sobbin came into the picture.
They actually spent more time alone sans Kody due to his COVID rules, and they found out they’re fine without him
There are signs of Kody's narcissism in earlier seasons even though he obviously wasn't so openly cruel back then. But the big swing in his personality seems to be before covid, when he drew up plans for one big house. When the wives weren't all on board, that's when he started turning dark. When covid started, some of the wives suggested gathering the family together for the "two weeks to slow the curve" so they could work on the relationships but Kody said no - he wanted everyone separate. Considering how he'd subtly tried to pit wives against each other through the years, this seems like one of those triangulation tactics to keep everyone focused on him. He's messed up.
Or is it that Robyn didn’t want the others staying at her house during that time (to slow the curve on Covid) as that was the only place large enough for the whole family to shelter in place at?
it would never work bc the older kids had left the house and were working or going to school. he couldn’t control that to make them stay at home and that sent him. They had girlfriends and social lives. It’s ok for him to be holed up with his 4 wives but if one of his kids wants to be with their gf he had a problem. it’s gross.
What you said about Kody putting Christine down to keep her in line is a all new low against him. I never thought about that. Your right when I think about how bad he is spiraling because she had the audacity to leave him. I wonder if he talks about Christine to Robin all the time like he does with Janelle. I hope so because Robin is the worst.
He's trying to manipulate Janelle into hating Christine too. The fact that Janelle picked Christine and all their kids over him and his wife has stunned him. You got this Janelle!!! I bet he rants and broods all the time. Probably a joy to live with.
@@maganalia Yes! He is definitely trying to turn Janelle against Christine. Just another blow to his ego if Janelle picks Christine over him.
That picture. Lol
He's a legend in his own mind. Ego driven his statement made me laugh for hours
The reason the wives have kind of woke up to his behavior is because their kids are mostly grown up now. When your kids grow up, it shifts your marriage relationship. If you have not invested in the relationship and built up your marriage, once the kids become adults, your marriage can collapse. The wives are not busy raising kids. They realized long term that there is nothing there for them except loneliness. They want more than Cody could give, and in his selfishness, he can’t see it.
Both Kody and Robyn are stuck on the 'I don't understand what happened with Christine' thing and are not moving forward. How difficult is it to understand that she wasn't happy and she left?
I think people underestimate the influence of their religion on their world view.
1:34 NAILED IT and I’m only one and a half minutes in❣️ I love your analysis!!! I absolutely adore watching you and your wife interact while watching the episodes. I love how you look at her!!! ♥️❤️♥️
I astounds me that Robin is okay being with someone who treats people this way.
They are two of a kind.
That's only because so far, he's not treating her or her kids that way. Just wait Robyn. You're next.
Cause she is just as bad
Kody abandoned the marriage to Christine, that’s why she moved his stuff to the garage and ultimately that’s why she moved away. Why would she stick around? What did he expect from her? I can’t imagine how he can see himself as the victim
It’s the overhead shot of Cody‘s hair for me🤣👨🦲
He says that to Christine because of the nachos she ate in front of him 25 years ago. He’s such a delusional narcissist. Glad she finally left him and he can feel the rejection he’s been putting on Christine and meri for so many years.
What has changed is that they are no longer surrounded by the cult. To maintain such a difficult and extreme path, you need the community around you reinforcing that the life you are living is "normal". They writing was on the wall when they left Utah.
There is no excuse for neglecting his daughter. Being kicked out, or working crazy hours does not prevent you from sending a quick text to tell her you love her and miss her. And there’s no way he was slammed with “business” on Christmas Day so much that he couldn’t give her a quick call or drop by a present. Absolutely inexcusable neglect.
I don’t understand Kody’s inability to see or call his daughter for weeks, including Christmas. But, he did say I see my children because I am with their mother in her house and they are there. It is like he has never formed a connected parent-child relationship with any of them. When his children become adults they have no reason to call him. And narcissistically, their father, even though he is their father, never calls them.
Meaning Robyn's house and Robyn's children. He says he can't go to the other wives' homes, so he can't see his other children. He can't take Truely to the movies? He can't take Ysabel out to lunch? How much effort does it really take?
You’re right what’s interesting though is I did some research and found out Christine was extremely popular and liked in the church. She was very bubbly and friendly well liked and her grandfather was the founder of the AUB so her family was considered royalty and their church, and Kody was not that popular in their church and since being a narcissist, I feel like he was always wanting to bring Christine down notch or too kinda like “ put her in her place “ by constantly reminding her that he was not attracted to her, and that she was lucky to be included in his family, which is totally ridiculous, and so narcissistic and cruel so happy she got out you can see just how happy she is now it’s written all over her face
I think he was always threatened by christine, she was "higher" up in the church than him (which is why i think they got married to begin with, he just wanted the clout) AND she raised the kids and smoothed out the relationship between meri and janelle. She basically held the family together. He was jealous of her status as a mormon and as the "heart" of the family
As for Kody’s hair…I call them his Tentacles~. O He reminds me of the lit’l Pink Octopus “Finding Nemo” swishing his tentacles all the time…., I crack myself up!
I agree with your point about separation not usually being a great solution but in Janelle's case it made sense to me. She said that every time he returns after a fight/separation, they don't deal with the issues and it just gets swept under the rug. Which of course it does, he slithers out of responsibility every time, and he twists everything she says to make himself the innocent party. Glad to see her realizing this.
His ego has taken a big hit and he thought that the wives would stay and come crawling back to him but they didn’t .
Well when a woman is left alone without their man they start to look at their lives and they figure out they are better off without them, but going to a therapist that doesn't recognize NPD disorder well the victim always gets blamed..Kody is upset with Janelle still being friends with Kristine because if you are not for the narcissist then you're against the narcissist..
The change with the OG 3 wives is that they all turned 50 & said “enough is enough”. There’s something magical about turning 50. You have a much clearer view of who you are & what you want from life. You’ve sacrificed & put up with & have seen A LOT by the time you’re that age & for the majority of us, we’re just done tolerating Bull Crap from anyone, anymore. That has been my life experience & what I have witnessed with every woman in my life. It has a “Been there, done that, didn’t like it” sort of feel to it. It’s actually quite freeing & empowering to say; “I’m/You’re not going to do that anymore & I don’t care if you don’t like it”.
All very well said David 👍
I’m not married, but I must tell you, “Thanks for enlightening me on these issues through the show.” I loved your take on working together instead of separating if the goal is to stay married and talking to a 3rd party instead of constantly unloading on your partner. I’ll remember those tips.
I agree with the other commenters who said Janelle was separating to buy time to leave officially-not to reconcile. Also, they made great points about the kids being gone, so now the wives can reflect much more on the marriage. That’s why it seems that they’re all waking up at the same time.
It's always been mind-blowing to me that Kody is NEVER willing to accept accountability for anything. He never considers how the opposite party is feeling or have any empathy for them. That is incredibly frustrating to watch, episode after episode.
I think Robyn is finally having a real sister wife experience!! Others are making decisions (to leave..hallelujah), and that is out of her control!! So.. now she can understand (well, one could hope) what plural marriage has been for Christine,Meri, and Janelle all these years.
I mean she and Kody have been making all the decisions. ..imo
Janelle is a BOSS! She did everything just right in the conversation with Kody. That's exactly the way to break up with a narcissist.
I think part of what changed is several of the children are adults that began experiencing their own relationships and those relationships got compared to their parents relationships. That made it easier for the moms to see how bad their relationships with Kody were.
He’s always been obsessed with how he looks. In the episode of him and Robyn’s honeymoon he’s caught flexing in the mirror and Robyn goes “oh the wives were right, they gave me a kody survival book and said he’s always flexing in the mirror”. 😂
This is rude of me but if he did not have the little curls on his forehead he would have the same hairstyle as Larry of the three stooges. His vanity is ridiculous.
@@hollishaley-o5u😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
@@hollishaley-o5u 😂😂😂😂 yes he would. But honestly if his hair is so important to him, why doesn’t he get hair transplant?
You explain everything so well especially when it comes to Kody .
I think Kody’s ability to be a good father was held his marriages together. When he started ignoring Christine and Janelle’s children, that was the final straw for each woman.
I agree with all your thoughtful and insightful analysis. However, I was hoping you would address Kody's accusation that others do not value his two youngest children Ariella and Solomon. I was so glad Janelle stopped him, but it fits in with Kody's always feeling sorry for himself and seeing himself as the one who is being attacked. I would like to ask you if that describing himself as a victim, is part of his narcissistic personality or where does that come from. I don't understand the root but I can see how it serves him to think it is everyone else s fault that way he never has to accept responsibility for his actions. I have an answer to your question about what changed, from a woman's perspective sometimes we do not stand up for ourselves our value ourselves enough to walk away when we are being mistreated but when we see our children being mistreated we become courageous and strong enough to leave or to say enough is enough. I think both Christine and Janelle saw what Kody's mistreatment was doing to their children and they were no longer willing to put up with it.
Other psychologists I follow or read discuss the "vulnerable" narcissist, the one easily wounded that others seemingly don't care as much as they do about whatever is their focus or exhibit an "the world just doesn't understand me, recognize my greatness, really missed out on a good thing by rejecting my job application, etc." I've seen it described as just another manifestation of the superiority coping mechanism, where if others aren't in perfect alignment with the individuals wants and needs, they are the problem, rather than just being someone with a different perspective of needs that are a bit different at the moment.
Kody likes to stab back. He uses what he knows will cause pain. Christine's attractiveness, Janelle's children, Meris self-esteem and self-worth.
No Christmas present because he doesn’t have time, but Robyn’s kids got mini bikes.
The final straw for BOTH Janelle and Christine was that Kody was treating their children like crap. By the time Meri leaves (early 2022)- it was probably over the same reason. Leon was transitioning and Kody disrespected them.
OMG, your face trying to hold back the laugh cracks me up!
I appreciate the psychological analysis. The Kodester is a great source for a deep dive.
Literally spit my tea out all over while watching Wives. When Cody with a straight face said he is attractive because of his body !!!!!🤭🤣😜🤷♀️🤭😉🇨🇦
Janelle wants a break because she is done, but she trying to manage him. By managing him, she is trying to get out without the same treatment as Christine. Janelle is a smart level headed women, she doesn't want to deal with all that knife to kidneys crap.
It was Covid that really brought the changes as the three wives discovered during Kody’s absence that they were able to cope without him. Happier even without him. If Covid hadn’t happened they may never have had that period of time to make those discoveries.
I took a break. Moved out for 3 months while my husband worked through some things. 10 years and 3 kids later, we’re good!
Kody is not distressed about Christine. He is distressed about his wounded ego. Somebody rejected him. HIM - the guy with the shoulders, and the great hair, and the abs. The nerve!
It's clear that you haven't been watching the show for very long. Kody has been mocking Christine since episode 1.
I can't hear "take a break" without thinking of Ross and Rachel. ;) Two different people can mean two different things by that. One can mean "temporarily" while the other means "break up."
He’s not “distressed”. He threw Christine away and was pushing her out loooooong before he started stating how “hurt” he was.
Years ago one of Kody’s classmates said he wasn’t at all surprised that Kody was on a reality show because in school he always had to be the center of attention…..
Holy cannoli this was over the top! The look on your faces was priceless! Neither of you could believe he was that delusional! He can’t see his kids unless they are under their moms??? What happens if he takes them out to dinner alone??? He won’t be able to talk to his own children?
Pecks! It was PECKS!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
And Kody consistently told the world he was unattractive to her live on tv and in their book.
Indeed, he even doubled down during a tv interview to state that not being attracted to Christine was "an understatement". He is cruel.
I barfed a little in my mouth when Cody said that.