Your video ended up finding me on my recommendations and I decided to click because I've been finding it difficult to find the motivation to do my own thing right now. I would ask other people what they did and I asked my dad what he does and as much as he wanted to help me, he did not have a super concrete answer for me. I click on your video and I saw a new and fresher perspective about motivation. I took the test myself and it all made sense for me. People close to me always saw my lack of self motivation to be lazy and it would get pretty frustrating. I'm glad you gave me a new perspective of motivation and the tendencies of them. I appreciate you. Great job on the video. 🙂👍
This was really helpful thank you! This was the first time I’ve heard about this system and instantly I know myself as a rebel. It’s always been a struggle to motivate myself into action and I could never figure out why, I usually beat myself up about it, but now I will remember this!!
I'm a Questioner so even though you don't think there are many of us out here, I appreciate the fact that you addressed this. Another great video, Miss Charlotte!
I’m a Questioner. The tips about navigating the workplace are very, very tricky. If your boss hands you an assignment and tells you it’s important to get it done by X, but you can’t make sense of how and why it’s important, questioning only makes it worse. In my experience, I have received bombastic side eyes to straight up shocked & bewildered stares followed by some iteration of “What else is there to explain? It’s crystal clear this assignment is extremely important to our client & you should already, in some sense, understand why! What’d we hire you for?” Also, I love streamlining things because “work smarter not harder”, but at every job I’ve had,the amount of ideas I’ve pitched to management to make work more efficient has almost always been met with “Yes but THAT higher-up doesn’t like it that way, so let’s stick to the long way to keep them comfortable.”
Thank you. You have a very positive outlook on things says the highly motivated questioner / rebel. I often get motivated by counterwill. I love proving people wrong
As an obliger who leans towards rebel: I actually would strongly recommend AGAINST telling everyone your goal for accountability. Here's why: Let's say you want to start a business, so you go around and tell everyone in your family, on social media, at the grocery store, at the bar about your business idea. Not everyone, but most people are probably gonna be super supportive! It feels great to get everyone patting you on the back and encouraging you to follow your dreams! The problem is... That dopamine hit you just got makes action obsolete. Your brain and body are wired to conserve energy, so if you're getting that sweet, sweet dopamine by just *telling* people about your business idea, then there's no reason to actually follow through and DO the business idea. You already got that external approval you're seeking as an obliger. Does this mean you can't tell ANYONE about your goal? No, but be VERY selective. Only share your goals with a handful of trusted people. I recommend going the coaching route, actually, because the entire purpose of a coaching relationship is to hold you accountable. Also, putting money behind your project/commitment will help you stick to it. Another piece of advice I'll offer is to not bite off more than you can chew. If you're feeling resistant to getting started on your big goal, make the goal smaller. Make drafts and iterate on the idea until you have the confidence, habits, and self concept to pursue the big thing that scares you. You have to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can run.
I think whether to share our goals is always going to be such an individual choice, not just based on us as people, but also the goal itself and the people around us. I talk about my goal to grow on social media bc I’m comfortable with people knowing about it but there are other personal goals I have that I only tell to my closest friends. The dopamine thing is interesting tho!
@@charlottemorabito great point, there is ALWAYS nuance with stuff like this 😊 shoot, in my own life, I've found it useful to share certain goals, but not others! Definitely one of those things where you have to "know thyself"... Sometimes I need to harness my inner rebel by proving myself or others wrong; other times I need to hold myself very gently and tenderly. It really depends on the emotions I have around the given goal. Anyway, for what it's worth, the idea of moving in silence because of the dopamine comes from a psychiatrist and former monk here on TH-cam, Dr. K, aka HealthyGamerGG. I don't remember the title of that specific video, but it definitely resonated with me after having little success with trying to leverage social pressure/accountability by blasting my business to everyone I know. Highly recommend his content!
So glad I found your channel! Your channel is giving me so much insight on how to motivate myself and stay motivated. I paused your video, quickly took the quiz and found out I am a "Rebel". That explains so much! Your advice was so helpful I ended up writing it down too. Thanks, and hope you have a great day! :)
This video was actually really helpful thank you. I didn’t realise I was edging towards rebel and thinking of things as “I actually want to do this” is weirdly ground breaking. It’s a thing i should do for a better me but I actually want to do the thing which I never realised before. I just chalked it up to being another annoying task on the list. I’m glad you created a TH-cam channel 🙂 I am a new sub
Just to be clear, I love your natural look and appreciate it so much. You're as real as they come! With that being said, I am so curious what your hair would look like being super dark warm brown or maybe even a burgundy. Thoughts?
Aw thank you. I do love my greys and I’ve been thinking about making them more prominent with dye but haven’t taken any steps to do it. I feel like if I dye my hair, I would need to stick to a cool tone to go with my pink undertones. I sometimes go jet cool-tone black in the winter
I think I'm actually an upholder. What I'm struggling with right now is things feeling out of my control. I can make myself apply to another 500 jobs, but I can't make anyone hire me. So why apply? I'll work on it
I am just so happy I’ve found your channel! I’ve just finished watching the manifestation one and in my way to devour all the wisdom you’ve put in those videos ! Love 🩷🐸
Your video ended up finding me on my recommendations and I decided to click because I've been finding it difficult to find the motivation to do my own thing right now. I would ask other people what they did and I asked my dad what he does and as much as he wanted to help me, he did not have a super concrete answer for me. I click on your video and I saw a new and fresher perspective about motivation. I took the test myself and it all made sense for me. People close to me always saw my lack of self motivation to be lazy and it would get pretty frustrating. I'm glad you gave me a new perspective of motivation and the tendencies of them. I appreciate you. Great job on the video. 🙂👍
aww thank you so much for the comment. I'm so glad the video helped!!
This was really helpful thank you! This was the first time I’ve heard about this system and instantly I know myself as a rebel. It’s always been a struggle to motivate myself into action and I could never figure out why, I usually beat myself up about it, but now I will remember this!!
I'm a Questioner so even though you don't think there are many of us out here, I appreciate the fact that you addressed this. Another great video, Miss Charlotte!
I’m surprised so many questioners clicked! I totally expected mostly rebels and obligers haha I’m glad the video helped!
I am totally a questioner with a touch of rebel. Drives advice-givers crazy. 😜
I’m a Questioner. The tips about navigating the workplace are very, very tricky. If your boss hands you an assignment and tells you it’s important to get it done by X, but you can’t make sense of how and why it’s important, questioning only makes it worse. In my experience, I have received bombastic side eyes to straight up shocked & bewildered stares followed by some iteration of “What else is there to explain? It’s crystal clear this assignment is extremely important to our client & you should already, in some sense, understand why! What’d we hire you for?”
Also, I love streamlining things because “work smarter not harder”, but at every job I’ve had,the amount of ideas I’ve pitched to management to make work more efficient has almost always been met with “Yes but THAT higher-up doesn’t like it that way, so let’s stick to the long way to keep them comfortable.”
I’ve definitely been in that bit regarding workflows. So many people stuck in their ways 🫣
Thank you. You have a very positive outlook on things says the highly motivated questioner / rebel. I often get motivated by counterwill. I love proving people wrong
Just letting you know I exist! ❤ thank you for all you do
This is the second video ive been recommended by you and i love how helpful and informative you are!
Aww thank you so much! I’m glad they’ve helped! That means a lot ❤️
Love the way you break things down and explain it! Very digestible.
As an obliger who leans towards rebel: I actually would strongly recommend AGAINST telling everyone your goal for accountability. Here's why:
Let's say you want to start a business, so you go around and tell everyone in your family, on social media, at the grocery store, at the bar about your business idea. Not everyone, but most people are probably gonna be super supportive! It feels great to get everyone patting you on the back and encouraging you to follow your dreams!
The problem is... That dopamine hit you just got makes action obsolete. Your brain and body are wired to conserve energy, so if you're getting that sweet, sweet dopamine by just *telling* people about your business idea, then there's no reason to actually follow through and DO the business idea. You already got that external approval you're seeking as an obliger.
Does this mean you can't tell ANYONE about your goal? No, but be VERY selective. Only share your goals with a handful of trusted people. I recommend going the coaching route, actually, because the entire purpose of a coaching relationship is to hold you accountable. Also, putting money behind your project/commitment will help you stick to it.
Another piece of advice I'll offer is to not bite off more than you can chew. If you're feeling resistant to getting started on your big goal, make the goal smaller. Make drafts and iterate on the idea until you have the confidence, habits, and self concept to pursue the big thing that scares you. You have to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can run.
I think whether to share our goals is always going to be such an individual choice, not just based on us as people, but also the goal itself and the people around us. I talk about my goal to grow on social media bc I’m comfortable with people knowing about it but there are other personal goals I have that I only tell to my closest friends. The dopamine thing is interesting tho!
@@charlottemorabito great point, there is ALWAYS nuance with stuff like this 😊 shoot, in my own life, I've found it useful to share certain goals, but not others! Definitely one of those things where you have to "know thyself"... Sometimes I need to harness my inner rebel by proving myself or others wrong; other times I need to hold myself very gently and tenderly. It really depends on the emotions I have around the given goal.
Anyway, for what it's worth, the idea of moving in silence because of the dopamine comes from a psychiatrist and former monk here on TH-cam, Dr. K, aka HealthyGamerGG. I don't remember the title of that specific video, but it definitely resonated with me after having little success with trying to leverage social pressure/accountability by blasting my business to everyone I know. Highly recommend his content!
This is so ME. I’ve had to hold off on telling ppl my ideas/goals because I won’t follow through afterwards😭😂
So glad I found your channel! Your channel is giving me so much insight on how to motivate myself and stay motivated. I paused your video, quickly took the quiz and found out I am a "Rebel". That explains so much! Your advice was so helpful I ended up writing it down too. Thanks, and hope you have a great day! :)
i’m watching a few of your videos right now and these are so helpful! thank you for sharing your knowledge (:
really enjoyed learning about this framework, haven't heard about it before! your energy & delivery are wonderfully engaging !!
This video was actually really helpful thank you. I didn’t realise I was edging towards rebel and thinking of things as “I actually want to do this” is weirdly ground breaking. It’s a thing i should do for a better me but I actually want to do the thing which I never realised before. I just chalked it up to being another annoying task on the list. I’m glad you created a TH-cam channel 🙂 I am a new sub
i love quizes
looking forward to knowing which one am i
Questioner 💯 I read the book a few years ago and this is a good reminder!
great video, very interesting info! I'll be checking out your other videos, thank you for doing what you do!!
Your videos are so good. I just subscribed :)
omg thank you so much! I'm so glad you like them ❤️
Just to be clear, I love your natural look and appreciate it so much. You're as real as they come! With that being said, I am so curious what your hair would look like being super dark warm brown or maybe even a burgundy. Thoughts?
Aw thank you. I do love my greys and I’ve been thinking about making them more prominent with dye but haven’t taken any steps to do it. I feel like if I dye my hair, I would need to stick to a cool tone to go with my pink undertones. I sometimes go jet cool-tone black in the winter
@ thank you for this channel and what you're doing
So glad I found u and ur videos, thank you for the help! ❤
fellow obliger with a rebel wing 🤘
I love your videos and your vibe . Thank you!
You are a STAR*
In case you didn't know:)))
Hi from Czech!
I think I'm actually an upholder. What I'm struggling with right now is things feeling out of my control. I can make myself apply to another 500 jobs, but I can't make anyone hire me. So why apply?
I'll work on it
I am just so happy I’ve found your channel! I’ve just finished watching the manifestation one and in my way to devour all the wisdom you’ve put in those videos ! Love 🩷🐸
I really like ur energy and ur content is super helpful… thank you ❤️❤️
I've started liking your videos at the very beginning tbh, I know I'll probably agree or find it useful somehow.
I just found your channel and I've been watching all your videos!! This is so helpful and interesting, thank you so much
i love ur vids! thank u
I'm a rebel based on the quiz, can I change to an upholder? If so, what are the necessary steps?
I really like your pfp
💚🍀✨💫
Omg I'm such a questioner and it sucks!!
Noooo this is good!! you’re in control!
i just realized my boyfriend is a questioner and so much has just clicked 😭
In my experience, and those of my friends, most boyfriends and husbands seem to be questioners 😅
I am your likes number 66! :p
thanks for the content 🤍 very helpful
My pleasure! Thank you for watching!
What if you're all of them? 🥲 Guess I have to figure out how to react in each situation lol
hii,, i’m going through a very hard time right now, and I am glad I have found your channel! Thank you for doing what you do :) 🤍
You are so welcome! Thank YOU for being here and for the comment ♥️