I have this great big coffemug with the quote: “life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself”. Which to me has always made more sense. I have these big dreams and goals and every day I ask myself what can I do to get closer to my goal. What can I do to create the life I want. And I also noticed that it is constantly changing. As I grow as a person things change and that is ok.
I love your videos about intentionally cultivating the life and personality traits you want with consistency, awareness, acceptance of your current self, and self-compassion. Also, I really liked how you pooled together relevant quotes from the different authors, researchers, and mental health professionals. Keep it up!
I don’t think I’ve ever heard or seen this concept of creating change through awareness and acceptance. We are always told to be ourselves and be “authentic” but very rarely do we have the conversation in this light. I really enjoyed this video.
"...and you just end up becoming the most convenient version of yourself" wow I feel called out! Thanks for this reminder, appreciate your videos. As a side note, like this more informal, chatty video format a lot!
The longer I watch you the more I feel like I am comfortable with letting go of my toxic friends, becoming more introverted for self reflection reasons, prioritizing meditation/prayer for every morning or mid afternoon, engaging in hobbies I never thought I’d love, stepping out of my comfort zone with my fashion choices, journaling, reading etc etc.. so thank you Muchelle. :) I SO hear you about being impulsive and growing up not knowing how to save money.. my parents have nothing saved and they’re in their 50s. They always told me that only greedy people saved their money and that it was wrong.. and then I got older, moved out and realized if I wanted nicer things I’d need to save money and learn how to control my impulses.. this goes hand in hand with my minimalist/essential lifestyle, I go for quality over quantity in every aspect in my life. Time is so precious and you can’t get it back, so don’t waste your laboring energy or your high energy on energy vampires. Thanks again girlfriend! 🙋🏻♀️ I wish you a fantastic day. ☀️🌷
Thank you Michelle! ❤️ This is something I have also realized about myself in recent years. I put myself into boxes like "not an athletic person", "not a numbers person", etc. Now I've started to try and challenge these beliefs about myself.
Love seeing Marsha Linahan outside of therapy! DBT, her technique, changed my life and helped me recover completely from BPD. She also had BPD herself, she’s incredibly inspiring!
I completely agree with being our best self. I think the only thing I’d like to add (maybe this is also how others see it too) is that my most authentic self is my best self. Meaning, that I know I am someone who wants change, growth, learn and to be successful. I know that with that there’s going to be uncomfortable moments because it comes with change but ultimately its part of our growth as individuals. But, I also can see how someone can limit themselves by being “authentic” and it not serving them as well. Great video as always! ☀️
OMG WOW, this was such a wake up call!! This is EXACTLY what happened to me! I went from naturally ALWAYS striving towards my BEST SELF to thinking it was a bad thing in the age of 'authenticity' and started to try and be who I am RIGHT NOW! I have never felt so stifled as I have been spiritually the last few years. This gave me the reminder to embrace my BEST SELF instead within like 5 seconds lol. Thank you Michelle!
Okay wait I’ve heard so darn much about body keeps the score and haven’t heard anything about the author even once. Thanks for bringing that up! This is a fantastic video 💖
I loved watching you do the language class; sort of adore that you were freaking out a bit? That's exactly how I'd be! Loved this; I graduated and moved back in with my parents at the beginning of Lockdown, and my environment is so unchallenging that I've fallen into some bad habits; not exercising, not controlling my diet or shopping habits, waking up 10 minutes before my wfh laptop job starts! The slump is real! So, I'm ripping off the comfort bandage and moving to London with my best friend in August; definitely moving my ladder to some new walls! Thanks for the guidance and motivation
YOU ARE JUST AWESOMEE !! THESE VIDEOS THAT YOU MAKE THEY REALLY REALLY HIT A STRING EVERY TIME . YOUR ENERGY IS SOO POSITIVE AND YET SOO CALM . YOU GIVE ME HOPE TO LIVE THE UNCONVENTIONAL WAY , A WAY OF LIFE THAT IS SOO MUCH INTENTIONAL AND CONSCIOUS . RATHER THAN JUST DRIFTING THROUGH THE LIFE MINDLESS NOW I KNOW BETTER AND YOU ARE A GREAT PART OF IT . THANKYOU SOO MUCH . SENDING A LOTS OF LOVE FROM INDIA!!💓
Absolutely love this. I always thought I wasn't a STEM person but after challenging those beliefs guess who got accepted onto an engineering programme starting in september!
I totally agree - I love the changes between the far away shots with captions and the more "selfie" closer shots that are like an aside or tap on the shoulder to the viewer.
It kinda reminds me of when people say “be yourself” and then when you’re actually yourself then people have a problem with it? Kinda weird that society doesn’t like authentic people but rather gravitate towards people who pretend to be something they’re not 🤔
I am so going to take a couple of personality tests! I have a really hard time visualizing unknown things and it has become more and more clear that who I am is sometimes very vague to me. So hopefully I can kick start the creation of myself this way. Thank you for the tip!
Love this so much and can so relate, last year I pushed myself to finally go for things that I was drawn to but would normally talk myself out of, and this year I just want to continue the journey.
Totally agree! I think it’s important to remember that things that feel comfortable to us come from imprinting on our nervous system over time. It can become loop that prevents growth if you don’t ever step outside of the box.
I think the worst part is when you're put into boxes as a child by parents, teachers and friends. Those to me feel like the hardest boxes to overcome. Was told I'll never be good at English :D here I am completing a bachelors degree in English, but I think those boxes mess with you the most. S currently trying to overcome those boxes, which feels great!
I loved your video. It kind of made me think about all of these personality tests. For me, personally, once I found out my type I literally immersed myself in finding about more about my type. .. I started to define my identity by this type. From your video it made me think that Suppose I convinced myself that I was a different type of personality like an ENFJ and I learned everything about them then chances are - I may actually develop some of those characteristics.
So much of our lives are designed for us! There absolutely is power in designing daily routines into our lives until they feel comfortable, and then automatic. And you're spot on about starting by just practicing in you head!
Muchelle I've been watching your videos for over a yr now and I'm so happy I discovered you! You put so much thought and love in your work/videos and it shines through ❤️❤️❤️
This is so interesting. I never associated alignment with a fixed mindset, though I do see how one can take alignment to an extreme. Alignment doesn't feel like something rigid. As someone who has ADHD and struggles with self-discipline, I find the idea of alignment to be a really helpful way into prioritizing. Gotta give this one more of a think.
I loved the different examples that you used to illustrate judgement, enabling and acceptance towards oneself.. I feel like I hear everyone talk about it but, I always wonder “what does it look like in practice”.. so this was helpful.. thank you :)
I think allowing passive identity change requires that you are already stable mentally. I hope to reach that eventually, as that sounds fun and interesting. It gives me hope though; thank you.
Phenomenal video! Couldn't stop myself from taking copious notes throughout. 🤓 Wrote down so many "muchelleb quotes" from this, since you do a great job taking an author's insights and expounding on them through your own understanding and experience. Love it!
How do you combine these two ideas: "hold your identity loosely" with "create a clear idea of who you want to be"? Is it something like, have the end goal really clear, but be flexible on details?
This was so helpful! Would be really great if you could also add captions/subtitles to future videos for those of us with ADHD-related auditory processing issues and other hearing disabilities!
“I love the sun. I have a tattoo 💪🏼” 😆😆 ahaha cute! Love this video and the examples you gave Michelle! Always helpful and gives me lots to think about 💕
haha i laughed at that too😂💕 hey btw mereani, i recently started my own channel where i talk a lot about self growth, nutrition and all things life, if u wanna check it out☺️
🙂 I dont agree. Being authentic = being yourself. When you are yourself you don't ask yourself who you are. So you can be authentic and you can be your true self
It can be hard to know the line between having a fixed mindset and accepting yourself. Personally I try to judge based off reflection at the end of the day/week/month/year. I might not feel authentic or comfortable doing something new and outside my comfort zone in the moment, but when something is the “right” thing, I will feel great after.
Hi Michelle, I noticed you took the discussion around quoting "problematic" people seriously and mentioned some allegations about one of the authors in this video. I appreciate you trying to give a fuller picture. I think you don't need to say it in the video though, because it can be distracting from the actual content. It would suffice if you write it in the description box. Keep being a badass babe! Thank you.
Just another attempt to trick the algorithm but anyway at least this is one of the firsts🤣 obviously we are gonna see this kinda trend next months then when the trend ends we can be ourselves again, dont be a loser and be authentic pls 😃
Where do you draw the line between behaving inauthentically in order to create your best self and just being straight up delusional? For example, I’m an introvert, and if I start behaving like an extrovert regularly, it’s not going to change me into an extrovert. I won’t start getting my energy from being around other people. If anything, I’m going to be absolutely exhausted. I think that’s what people mean when they say “be your authentic self”. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t step out of your comfort zone and challenge your assumptions. That’s something different IMO.
I can agree with that. I think it's when people take being authentic too far - when they do nothing unless it feels *aligned* - that it becomes a problem - because alignment becomes a synonym for comfortable quickly. I think they've shown that you can move further towards extroversion by acting like an extrovert to a degree - probably difficult to do a full swing!
Your content nourishes my stressed soul
💛💛
Your soul is always content and at peace.. 💫 The ego mind is the one that causes all the chaos.
Your mind is stressed. Soul is always whole and complete. Connect with soul. 💓💓
I have this great big coffemug with the quote: “life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself”. Which to me has always made more sense.
I have these big dreams and goals and every day I ask myself what can I do to get closer to my goal. What can I do to create the life I want. And I also noticed that it is constantly changing. As I grow as a person things change and that is ok.
Is no one gonna talk about the thumbnail? 😻
I love your videos about intentionally cultivating the life and personality traits you want with consistency, awareness, acceptance of your current self, and self-compassion. Also, I really liked how you pooled together relevant quotes from the different authors, researchers, and mental health professionals. Keep it up!
I don’t think I’ve ever heard or seen this concept of creating change through awareness and acceptance. We are always told to be ourselves and be “authentic” but very rarely do we have the conversation in this light. I really enjoyed this video.
"...and you just end up becoming the most convenient version of yourself" wow I feel called out! Thanks for this reminder, appreciate your videos. As a side note, like this more informal, chatty video format a lot!
It’s hard not to give generic advice in this field. I feel this video was really well thought out and researched and so genuine. Thanks so much for it
The longer I watch you the more I feel like I am comfortable with letting go of my toxic friends, becoming more introverted for self reflection reasons, prioritizing meditation/prayer for every morning or mid afternoon, engaging in hobbies I never thought I’d love, stepping out of my comfort zone with my fashion choices, journaling, reading etc etc.. so thank you Muchelle. :) I SO hear you about being impulsive and growing up not knowing how to save money.. my parents have nothing saved and they’re in their 50s. They always told me that only greedy people saved their money and that it was wrong.. and then I got older, moved out and realized if I wanted nicer things I’d need to save money and learn how to control my impulses.. this goes hand in hand with my minimalist/essential lifestyle, I go for quality over quantity in every aspect in my life. Time is so precious and you can’t get it back, so don’t waste your laboring energy or your high energy on energy vampires. Thanks again girlfriend! 🙋🏻♀️ I wish you a fantastic day. ☀️🌷
Thank you Michelle! ❤️ This is something I have also realized about myself in recent years. I put myself into boxes like "not an athletic person", "not a numbers person", etc. Now I've started to try and challenge these beliefs about myself.
Love seeing Marsha Linahan outside of therapy! DBT, her technique, changed my life and helped me recover completely from BPD. She also had BPD herself, she’s incredibly inspiring!
I love DBT too! I don't have BPD but I have other conditions and it has helped me so much as well.
I completely agree with being our best self. I think the only thing I’d like to add (maybe this is also how others see it too) is that my most authentic self is my best self. Meaning, that I know I am someone who wants change, growth, learn and to be successful. I know that with that there’s going to be uncomfortable moments because it comes with change but ultimately its part of our growth as individuals. But, I also can see how someone can limit themselves by being “authentic” and it not serving them as well. Great video as always! ☀️
I can totally get behind this! How you define authentic is kinda key. I appreciate you taking the time to comment 💛
OMG WOW, this was such a wake up call!! This is EXACTLY what happened to me! I went from naturally ALWAYS striving towards my BEST SELF to thinking it was a bad thing in the age of 'authenticity' and started to try and be who I am RIGHT NOW! I have never felt so stifled as I have been spiritually the last few years. This gave me the reminder to embrace my BEST SELF instead within like 5 seconds lol. Thank you Michelle!
Wow the quality of this vid is next level! The animations and b-roll are beaut. Proud of you Muchelle!
Okay wait I’ve heard so darn much about body keeps the score and haven’t heard anything about the author even once. Thanks for bringing that up! This is a fantastic video 💖
bestie this thumbnail is beautiful and u look amazing in it!!
I am so grateful for your content. You've really encouraged me to start pushing my boundaries, and I'm super grateful for that xxx
I loved watching you do the language class; sort of adore that you were freaking out a bit? That's exactly how I'd be! Loved this; I graduated and moved back in with my parents at the beginning of Lockdown, and my environment is so unchallenging that I've fallen into some bad habits; not exercising, not controlling my diet or shopping habits, waking up 10 minutes before my wfh laptop job starts! The slump is real! So, I'm ripping off the comfort bandage and moving to London with my best friend in August; definitely moving my ladder to some new walls! Thanks for the guidance and motivation
YOU ARE JUST AWESOMEE !! THESE VIDEOS THAT YOU MAKE THEY REALLY REALLY HIT A STRING EVERY TIME . YOUR ENERGY IS SOO POSITIVE AND YET SOO CALM . YOU GIVE ME HOPE TO LIVE THE UNCONVENTIONAL WAY , A WAY OF LIFE THAT IS SOO MUCH INTENTIONAL AND CONSCIOUS . RATHER THAN JUST DRIFTING THROUGH THE LIFE MINDLESS NOW I KNOW BETTER AND YOU ARE A GREAT PART OF IT . THANKYOU SOO MUCH . SENDING A LOTS OF LOVE FROM INDIA!!💓
Absolutely love this. I always thought I wasn't a STEM person but after challenging those beliefs guess who got accepted onto an engineering programme starting in september!
Amazing! Well done ! ❤️
The video editing in this one is AMAZING! Great job, Michelle! Your videos just keep getting better 🤩
Thank you so much!!! Sending you tons of love 💛
I totally agree - I love the changes between the far away shots with captions and the more "selfie" closer shots that are like an aside or tap on the shoulder to the viewer.
It kinda reminds me of when people say “be yourself” and then when you’re actually yourself then people have a problem with it? Kinda weird that society doesn’t like authentic people but rather gravitate towards people who pretend to be something they’re not 🤔
I am so going to take a couple of personality tests!
I have a really hard time visualizing unknown things and it has become more and more clear that who I am is sometimes very vague to me.
So hopefully I can kick start the creation of myself this way. Thank you for the tip!
Love this so much and can so relate, last year I pushed myself to finally go for things that I was drawn to but would normally talk myself out of, and this year I just want to continue the journey.
Your videos are the only ones I sit down and take notes while watching. Thank you!!
Totally agree! I think it’s important to remember that things that feel comfortable to us come from imprinting on our nervous system over time. It can become loop that prevents growth if you don’t ever step outside of the box.
Taking a personality test based on how you want to be is so smart and fun.
loving the self-compassion
me too, always down for the gentleness she creates for herself
i agree! hey btw, i recently started my own channel where i talk a lot about self growth, nutrition and all things life, if u wanna check it out☺️
you really put out value, that's so rare and much appreciated, you're amazing
I think the worst part is when you're put into boxes as a child by parents, teachers and friends. Those to me feel like the hardest boxes to overcome. Was told I'll never be good at English :D here I am completing a bachelors degree in English, but I think those boxes mess with you the most. S currently trying to overcome those boxes, which feels great!
I loved your video.
It kind of made me think about all of these personality tests. For me, personally, once I found out my type I literally immersed myself in finding about more about my type. .. I started to define my identity by this type.
From your video it made me think that Suppose I convinced myself that I was a different type of personality like an ENFJ and I learned everything about them then chances are - I may actually develop some of those characteristics.
So much of our lives are designed for us! There absolutely is power in designing daily routines into our lives until they feel comfortable, and then automatic. And you're spot on about starting by just practicing in you head!
Love this Muchelle. Thank you for the amazing content
me too! btw eleni, i recently started my own channel where i talk a lot about self growth, nutrition and all things life, if u wanna check it out
Loved this video! Going through some rough times and feeling hopeful 💗 thank you
sending you strength and happiness💕
Muchelle I've been watching your videos for over a yr now and I'm so happy I discovered you! You put so much thought and love in your work/videos and it shines through ❤️❤️❤️
Te envio un gran abrazo!!! Greetings from Colombia and thanks for your content :D
I watched this twice over because it's fire. Such an original and valuable video
This is so interesting. I never associated alignment with a fixed mindset, though I do see how one can take alignment to an extreme. Alignment doesn't feel like something rigid. As someone who has ADHD and struggles with self-discipline, I find the idea of alignment to be a really helpful way into prioritizing. Gotta give this one more of a think.
This was enlightening, thank you!
I would like to see a video about overthinking, how to stop assuming things, idealising, etc. pleaseeee I love your content
Beautifully said, radical self acceptance!
I loved the different examples that you used to illustrate judgement, enabling and acceptance towards oneself.. I feel like I hear everyone talk about it but, I always wonder “what does it look like in practice”.. so this was helpful.. thank you :)
I think allowing passive identity change requires that you are already stable mentally. I hope to reach that eventually, as that sounds fun and interesting. It gives me hope though; thank you.
Love this video, tysm for encouraging me to be the best version of myself ✨💕
yeees🙌🏻💕 hey btw, i recently started my own channel where i talk a lot about self growth, nutrition and all things life, if u wanna check it out☺️
Ooh, I’ll have to look into Lingoda!! Sounds like a genius was to learn a language.
Phenomenal video! Couldn't stop myself from taking copious notes throughout. 🤓 Wrote down so many "muchelleb quotes" from this, since you do a great job taking an author's insights and expounding on them through your own understanding and experience. Love it!
How do you combine these two ideas: "hold your identity loosely" with "create a clear idea of who you want to be"? Is it something like, have the end goal really clear, but be flexible on details?
💚💚💚 another great video - thank you
This was so helpful! Would be really great if you could also add captions/subtitles to future videos for those of us with ADHD-related auditory processing issues and other hearing disabilities!
In the meantime you could use the autogenerated ones, I just watched the video with them and are pretty accurate
@@CrisTryingToBeProductive Thanks! I do use those but the way they pop up word-by-word gets pretty distracting.
You can also follow along with the Transcript feature. (Or read through it before/after watching the video.)
“I love the sun. I have a tattoo 💪🏼” 😆😆 ahaha cute! Love this video and the examples you gave Michelle! Always helpful and gives me lots to think about 💕
haha i laughed at that too😂💕 hey btw mereani, i recently started my own channel where i talk a lot about self growth, nutrition and all things life, if u wanna check it out☺️
🙂 I dont agree. Being authentic = being yourself. When you are yourself you don't ask yourself who you are. So you can be authentic and you can be your true self
Thats so fine!! Different opinions are good!!
Loved this. Also really good editing.
Thank you so much!!
It can be hard to know the line between having a fixed mindset and accepting yourself. Personally I try to judge based off reflection at the end of the day/week/month/year. I might not feel authentic or comfortable doing something new and outside my comfort zone in the moment, but when something is the “right” thing, I will feel great after.
Really helpful and eye-opening video
Thank you for everything you do😘😘😘
Awesome video!!! 👏🏻 ❤️❤️❤️
Que emoción que quieras aprender español!
Im spanish and Now I really need to listen you speaking in spanish jajaj
I wish I had friends besides family. I struggle with Autism, and I get anxious around a lot of people.
Hi Michelle, I noticed you took the discussion around quoting "problematic" people seriously and mentioned some allegations about one of the authors in this video. I appreciate you trying to give a fuller picture. I think you don't need to say it in the video though, because it can be distracting from the actual content. It would suffice if you write it in the description box. Keep being a badass babe! Thank you.
Love it
If you want to practice spanish I’m here 4u 😊
Courage
Lovely
The "anti cold water person" got to me hahahahaha
Cool
how are the classes going spanish speaking queen?!!!
Are you recording on hardwood floors? Something about the audio seems very different.
Also, love your vidsss!
I’m working out a new camera set up right now 💛 thank you so much!
love u dear
Just another attempt to trick the algorithm but anyway at least this is one of the firsts🤣 obviously we are gonna see this kinda trend next months then when the trend ends we can be ourselves again, dont be a loser and be authentic pls 😃
okay
Linehan is useless love your videos!
Ooh why do you feel that way?
Where do you draw the line between behaving inauthentically in order to create your best self and just being straight up delusional?
For example, I’m an introvert, and if I start behaving like an extrovert regularly, it’s not going to change me into an extrovert. I won’t start getting my energy from being around other people. If anything, I’m going to be absolutely exhausted. I think that’s what people mean when they say “be your authentic self”. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t step out of your comfort zone and challenge your assumptions. That’s something different IMO.
I can agree with that. I think it's when people take being authentic too far - when they do nothing unless it feels *aligned* - that it becomes a problem - because alignment becomes a synonym for comfortable quickly.
I think they've shown that you can move further towards extroversion by acting like an extrovert to a degree - probably difficult to do a full swing!
❤️
💓💓💓💓
Not a sunglass girl lol then you realized you’re not into being blinded by the sun 🌞
I just hate hat hair.
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
💙💙💙💙💙
👩🔧👩🔧👩🔧
I dont like this, "stop being authentic" sounds to me like "be fake".
I really really loved and needed this video 💙 Thank you!