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1. He moves too damn slow. The relationship isn’t progressing over time. 2. He’s very hesitant about crossing the line. 3. He’s inconsistent with his actions and behavior. 4. He’s not investing his resources into you: time, energy, money, and effort. The more he likes you, the more he’s going to invest in you. 5. He shows any type of hot and cold behavior towards you. 6. If after 8 dates, you are not in a relationship with the guy, just leave. 7. If he doesn’t feel like you’re making him a better person/man in any way, then he won’t have any motivation to make you his girlfriend. 8. If he doesn’t feel like there’s any benefit to committing to you, then he won’t make the leap to having a relationship with you.
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This appeared at the right moment. I've matched with a guy online. We've had 2 long phone calls and lots of texts over several days. Problem is we live 60 miles apart. Was hoping to meet this weekend before he goes on a 2 week work trip. I enquired as to whether he'd be available. So far, no arrangements suggested by him. I'm not chasing him, simple as that...I've learned a great deal over the years. Update: He doesn't want to meet. He's "really busy" and thinks I will recoil because he's not fit. Says "It's not you it's me". FFS.
@@LorieThornton72 Thank-you. I picked up a vibe that his self confidence/body image was low. I don't mind chunky guys though so it's really frustrating. But - when a guy says he's too busy, I've learned you've got to believe them.
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Hint: If your crush is being nice to you and then 15 minutes later, your crush is practically pressed against another person stroking her back, he is not into you. You are at best a friend. Look elsewhere.
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Thank you Elliot for this raw video. As another relationship coach once put it, there are relationships where there are “hallmarks but no landmarks” and those are the ones you have to be sure you don’t end up in. If there’s romancing and physical intimacy and romantic nights out on the town, yet, you feel the relationship is at a standstill because you’re no closer to meeting his family, being included in his life, and the relationship isn’t progressing and there’s no forward momentum after several months, then you may want to evaluate what his intentions are. Is he simply enjoying the “relationship” for the companionship and the lonely times while getting all the benefits of an actual relationship yet not wanting to fully commit?
Beautiful ❤️ very well said, I'm not sure if I am a relationship kind of woman, Im very selfish, with my time. I get your guide because I want to learn, I have been single for quite a long time, I'm a single mom, relationship demand time, and I like my time. 😁 Quality content 😘
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My problem: been in a relationship for 3 years it was good till lately last couple of months he’s been hot/cold. He won’t “talk” about anything serious which makes this really hard.
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What sucks is I'm interested in guys that aren't interested in me 😅 damnit. When they are really in to me, I find I pull away. I'm a dumbdumb prob need therapy!
Yeah females behave like this all the time... Y'all play too many games. You pull away cuz he's either showing high interest or investing his resources way too much..smh
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This guy is the poster of why I don't look for dates and love anymore in my life. He paints such a strong argument of why not to date! You are lucky that there are a lot of desperate people out there gee
I just don't get why guys wanns stay at talking stage. Like being brief friends. Especially when you're hot and he's clearly attracted to you. I always thought it's the opposite - men wanna sex and not wasting any bit of time on bs like this. Very counterintuitive.
Should you get into a relationship after only 8 dates? I mean then you are still getting to know each other.🤣 But agree that as long as feelings and everything develop and move forward. It is the most important..
Love bombing is all over TH-cam and is a big indicator of a narc. In short, the person overwhealms you with attention in a very short period of time. This is not normal behaviour. The goal is to put you on a pedestal and glorify you. It happens for about 8 weeks. Then they gradually pullway (discarding phase) once you are hooked. Which leaves you confused. Best to avoid these people. If someone is telling you they love you and miss you in less than 8 weeks and you dont.know them....run!
But I don't understand why showing him your assets before going into a relationship is a bad thing. If I can be "wifey" or girlfriend material by helping him out, being there when he needs me, etc. I don't understand why he would think it's unnecessary to progress further if he's already getting what he wants. Because if I'm showing him that this is who I am (a wonderful potential girlfriend), then wouldn't he want to keep me around? By not making me his girlfriend after 8 dates, wouldn't he hate it if I just got up and left? That's the thing, it seems like you're saying that men are so confident that girls will keep giving assets and that they're not going anywhere. But in the end, those girls are going to leave if you don't make her your girlfriend. No one would actually continue to give those assets for the rest of time, without anything in return.
It’s the thing we all kind of know but don’t apply to relationships. The more you invest in something, the more it means to you. Like, if I just have to swipe a card and instantly have a bottle of water, I don’t think much about having water (or food) even though I need it. But if I have to walk five miles in the scorching sun and bring back water in a bucket, that water is something I care a lot more about. Not every guy, but a lot of guys, get a feeling that you’re just easy for anyone to have- because you just want a man. But if he doesn’t instantly have you and all things you can give, he knows you’re careful about who you allow in your heart and your life, and it’s attractive. It makes him feel special. It makes him feel seen- that you want him and not just any guy. He’s more certain that he can trust what you’re offering.
@@Mayfloweralways That's an interesting analogy and it makes a lot of sense. But without showing that you have those assets, how can he know that I'm worth getting? Continuing your analogy, how can I show a man that I have an amazing bottle of water or plate of food, without giving it to him?
@@smilealwaysnatasha3423 But I think I'm trying to say that you can get the milk for free for around a month. Once that month is over and you haven't bought the cow, the cow is going to be sold to someone else. So if you're getting great milk for free knowing that it won't last unless you buy it, wouldn't you be afraid that the cow will run away?
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BUT Elliott…. What If you get engaged with a very expensive 💍 and now he wants to get married quickly, BUT then they start to pull away a bit, not invest as many resources (money, gestures, energy) ???
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When unsure with a guy...do nothing. If they are interested, you’ll hear from them. If not, you’ve risked nothing and busy with your own life.
👌
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^..
Just because you hear from them doesn’t mean they are interested
Anytime I’m confused there’s Elliot yelling “A man who is interested in you will not put himself in a position to lose you!” in my head.
Hahah same
“The resources the man invest in the woman are the most important thing”‼️💯 (to see if he’s serious about you etc etc) 100% on point!
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
🤣🤣same!!
1. He moves too damn slow. The relationship isn’t progressing over time.
2. He’s very hesitant about crossing the line.
3. He’s inconsistent with his actions and behavior.
4. He’s not investing his resources into you: time, energy, money, and effort. The more he likes you, the more he’s going to invest in you.
5. He shows any type of hot and cold behavior towards you.
6. If after 8 dates, you are not in a relationship with the guy, just leave.
7. If he doesn’t feel like you’re making him a better person/man in any way, then he won’t have any motivation to make you his girlfriend.
8. If he doesn’t feel like there’s any benefit to committing to you, then he won’t make the leap to having a relationship with you.
@Stiff Upper Lip Nope.
“A relationship is a lifestyle. Some people are just not ready for that”
How about friends with benefits
I've decided to marry next door's cat. He spends more time with me than them. I'm not a cat lady - he's a human collector.
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
😅
Animals are better company.
It's good that you repeat it Elliot! Your commitment to getting ideas through to us is awesome 😊 thanks soo much
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
This appeared at the right moment. I've matched with a guy online. We've had 2 long phone calls and lots of texts over several days. Problem is we live 60 miles apart. Was hoping to meet this weekend before he goes on a 2 week work trip. I enquired as to whether he'd be available. So far, no arrangements suggested by him. I'm not chasing him, simple as that...I've learned a great deal over the years.
Update: He doesn't want to meet. He's "really busy" and thinks I will recoil because he's not fit. Says "It's not you it's me". FFS.
I’ve learned: it’s never good when u hear “it’s not u it’s me” lol hope u find someone amazing
@@LorieThornton72 Thank-you. I picked up a vibe that his self confidence/body image was low. I don't mind chunky guys though so it's really frustrating. But - when a guy says he's too busy, I've learned you've got to believe them.
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^..
59 miles is not a long distance relationship at all.
I need the right man who wants a serious relationship with me..
I'm not giving up on love.. ❤️
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.
Best is when he shows all the signs but when confronted he says he is very interested in you
lollll so painful
The paint on the canvas metaphor is a perfect example of what you are trying to get across. 💯
Recommend coaching. Always right!
Yes, Elliot! Truthbombs and on point as usual. Best dating coach! ❤️🔥
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Hint: If your crush is being nice to you and then 15 minutes later, your crush is practically pressed against another person stroking her back, he is not into you. You are at best a friend. Look elsewhere.
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
If inconsistency IS consistent…. There is this . The red flag
Youre bloody smart and to the point
Thank you Elliot for this raw video. As another relationship coach once put it, there are relationships where there are “hallmarks but no landmarks” and those are the ones you have to be sure you don’t end up in. If there’s romancing and physical intimacy and romantic nights out on the town, yet, you feel the relationship is at a standstill because you’re no closer to meeting his family, being included in his life, and the relationship isn’t progressing and there’s no forward momentum after several months, then you may want to evaluate what his intentions are. Is he simply enjoying the “relationship” for the companionship and the lonely times while getting all the benefits of an actual relationship yet not wanting to fully commit?
Thank you for this! This had been so helpful to my personal situation,
Beautiful ❤️ very well said, I'm not sure if I am a relationship kind of woman, Im very selfish, with my time. I get your guide because I want to learn, I have been single for quite a long time, I'm a single mom, relationship demand time, and I like my time. 😁 Quality content 😘
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Elliott, You did it again, fantastic video. Keep up the good work!!
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^..
12 mins of truth bombs, thank you!
Elliot your Content is very Good. It helps a lot 👏 thx
Thank you that means a lot
My problem: been in a relationship for 3 years it was good till lately last couple of months he’s been hot/cold. He won’t “talk” about anything serious which makes this really hard.
@Vanja Lo ugh 😣 so sorry. It’s tough but we will make it
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Great conversation yesterday. Excited to get your guide. Take care.
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
When Anyone is interested they Show you/ tell you, make sure you know.
Wrong your just wrong
Thankyou, Elliot!
Elliot you are the man
I was used by a newly divorced man as a companion and friend. It went nowhere although we had all these romantic times.
I'm a 64 year old lady and so far, I want a steady, have men willing to be that, but like my space. I think the right man could change my mind though.
Damn 64 and the shit doesn’t get better. Maybe romance and a relationship ain’t worth the drama. Lol 😆
@@smilealwaysnatasha3423 The men are good people, but for one reason or another, don't check all the boxes. I avoid drama too. Life's calm. 🤗
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Your best video yet
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^..
十15093468418⏭⏭⏭_ ^_??????????????????????????
What sucks is I'm interested in guys that aren't interested in me 😅 damnit. When they are really in to me, I find I pull away. I'm a dumbdumb prob need therapy!
Yeah females behave like this all the time... Y'all play too many games. You pull away cuz he's either showing high interest or investing his resources way too much..smh
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
This guy is the poster of why I don't look for dates and love anymore in my life. He paints such a strong argument of why not to date! You are lucky that there are a lot of desperate people out there gee
I just don't get why guys wanns stay at talking stage. Like being brief friends. Especially when you're hot and he's clearly attracted to you. I always thought it's the opposite - men wanna sex and not wasting any bit of time on bs like this. Very counterintuitive.
Should you get into a relationship after only 8 dates? I mean then you are still getting to know each other.🤣
But agree that as long as feelings and everything develop and move forward. It is the most important..
What is the love bombing thing he keeps referring to? I can't find a video where he explains it. When I hear love bombing, I think narcissist. lol.
Love bombing is all over TH-cam and is a big indicator of a narc. In short, the person overwhealms you with attention in a very short period of time. This is not normal behaviour. The goal is to put you on a pedestal and glorify you. It happens for about 8 weeks. Then they gradually pullway (discarding phase) once you are hooked. Which leaves you confused. Best to avoid these people. If someone is telling you they love you and miss you in less than 8 weeks and you dont.know them....run!
But I don't understand why showing him your assets before going into a relationship is a bad thing. If I can be "wifey" or girlfriend material by helping him out, being there when he needs me, etc. I don't understand why he would think it's unnecessary to progress further if he's already getting what he wants. Because if I'm showing him that this is who I am (a wonderful potential girlfriend), then wouldn't he want to keep me around? By not making me his girlfriend after 8 dates, wouldn't he hate it if I just got up and left? That's the thing, it seems like you're saying that men are so confident that girls will keep giving assets and that they're not going anywhere. But in the end, those girls are going to leave if you don't make her your girlfriend. No one would actually continue to give those assets for the rest of time, without anything in return.
Yeah he's wrong about that. The right guy will notice your value and will know you're an important asset to his life.
Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? I think that’s the analogy.
It’s the thing we all kind of know but don’t apply to relationships. The more you invest in something, the more it means to you. Like, if I just have to swipe a card and instantly have a bottle of water, I don’t think much about having water (or food) even though I need it. But if I have to walk five miles in the scorching sun and bring back water in a bucket, that water is something I care a lot more about. Not every guy, but a lot of guys, get a feeling that you’re just easy for anyone to have- because you just want a man. But if he doesn’t instantly have you and all things you can give, he knows you’re careful about who you allow in your heart and your life, and it’s attractive. It makes him feel special. It makes him feel seen- that you want him and not just any guy. He’s more certain that he can trust what you’re offering.
@@Mayfloweralways That's an interesting analogy and it makes a lot of sense. But without showing that you have those assets, how can he know that I'm worth getting? Continuing your analogy, how can I show a man that I have an amazing bottle of water or plate of food, without giving it to him?
@@smilealwaysnatasha3423 But I think I'm trying to say that you can get the milk for free for around a month. Once that month is over and you haven't bought the cow, the cow is going to be sold to someone else. So if you're getting great milk for free knowing that it won't last unless you buy it, wouldn't you be afraid that the cow will run away?
Omg I hope the guy I like feels the same way about me as I feel about him it’s compacted.😓😓😓😓
Is your manology different information than the commitment guide?
Yes
“Is the relationship progressing” from date 2-5 etc. Exactly!! some women miss that point
This was probably you’re best video in a while and a great video 🙂
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Peace Brother
Wish I saw this in 2020 🙏 gracias
Thats one big blowout, its like an Elvis style hahah
I think I'm just dense.
It’s ok. I think I am as well.
BUT Elliott…. What If you get engaged with a very expensive 💍 and now he wants to get married quickly, BUT then they start to pull away a bit, not invest as many resources (money, gestures, energy) ???
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
A man who is in a hurry for marriage seems like a red flag. Possible narc? What benefits is he getting with marriage? Start digging....why?
Pace the relationship, tell him you want more time, that’ll throw him off bc men expect you want marriage right away
Avoid all that by not choosing the bad fruit.
Aren't men cold fishes lol!
Tooo long