After 24 years of marriage with an undiagnosed narcissist I finally moved out and have been living on my own for almost two months now. It’s such a relief to my soul, body, and nervous system however I have been ruminating over times where my spouse was testing me throughout our relationship. Getting to the root of it all I realized that I married my mother in male form. I have the 1 year rule in place where I’m not even thinking about entering a love relationship. This year I am intentional about my healing and rebuilding my life. Thank you Dr Ramani❤
Keep on breaking that trauma bond & examine that parental model because it’s going to resurface in the next relationship but even more covert or sociopathic 💔❤️🩹♥️
Talking to someone who understands and having your experience validated decreases the need for rumination dramatically, in my experience. I promise it will pass soon.
Relationship detox is a must. As Dr. Ramani puts it: You shouldn't enter a relationship until you're comfortable being on your own. The only risk (from experience) is to feel so comfortable in our own that we never want to be in a relationship again!
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient...
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things.
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white...
For many of us, discovering we're in a narcissistic relationship feels like opening a Pandora Box where we finally understand what we were dealing with as children, how our brain was formatted, what it did to us. For all of us in that situation, the lessons to be learned are always: self-worth, self-love, self-respect, self-trust, and boundaries. Love bombing hits on everything we've been missing, starting with being loved and wanted.
I was 17 and came from an abusive home. I didn't know what hit me until the kids were born. I wish they had taught this in school. But that was the 80s when narcissist wasn't really a word & we didn't have easily accessible information.
My family was not narcissistic, but I grew up with other issues that made me vulnerable. I was a people pleaser, and narcissists and other selfish people took advantage of this. What’s interesting is that the most dangerous narcissists I ever met were those that took advantage of me slowly, over long periods of time. The most malignant narcissist I ever knew was so aggressive and fast that my alarms went off quickly, and scary as it was, I was able to get out. It was because of him that I learned about psychopathy and narcissism. The slow burners used me and mistreated me for decades. I hope I’ve learned to be more careful and, yes, judgmental if necessary.
Such a timely video! Dated a Sikh man the other night. First date in 12 years. Wasn't ever planning on dating again at 65. He picked me up in his Mercedes and made me a wonderful Indian dish. Treated me with respect and good conversation. No love bombing. Felt so different. 😊
The worst thing one can do for themselves is get into deep relationships without dealing with and dissecting the damage and experiences In their lives, especially with upbringing. I was a friggin magnet until I did the deep diving over many years. Now my life is amazing because I can spot these types so quick it’s almost like playing a video game on how high my score is for spotting them out.
Very true. Unfortunately, most of us are pointed in the right direction BY an (or a series of) abusive relationship(s). The Internet wasn't always around to point people in the right direction... I'm so glad today's generation is more informed! No one should have to wait decades to figure things out... ❤
I see everything through the lens of trauma bonding. I’m just starting to see what love isn’t. What it’s like to see value in myself. To be seen that way. No wonder I don’t enjoy romance or the love bomb phase. I feel like it’s tied to “eating shit”
9:46 AM EST 10:45 hmm it's really 9:45.. anyhow.. euphoric recall .. having a breakthrough from this by listening to Birdy's music helps me to stay in the present in a grounding way. Euphoric recall really kept me stuck before .. something about her music helps me to visit the present in a mindful , more balanced fashion and helps me see the situation from more angles than I had before. It's not as bright and entrancing as some of my memories though it helps me break them down .. and breakthrough to the present moment which is valuable to me.. it's grounding which is different than the euphoric recall of some of my memories. This way I'm not stuck in the emptiness euphoric recall leaves in the wake of it's entrancingness and can embrace the mundane or ho hum of life with a peaceful gratitude 🙏 i much prefer this sense of uplifting humility and gratitude i feel to the emptiness and never feeling the earth beneath me that euphoric recall gives that emptiness of euphoric recall.. whatever it is - sure ain't love .. from experience I understand this now.. before I didn't understand why love bombing was awful.. now I do. Love bombing 💣 makes one chase a high. Love.. love is the present moment as it is, however it is.. yet it is fulfilling when we embrace it, and cathartic at times in this cleansing embrace. I'll take this over all the empty gloss in the world 🌎 that seems great at first.. then leaves one very empty.. "balanced" that's love..real love..and that , I believe is the message of today in Doctor Ramani Durvasula feedback.. this is our fulfilling meal of love to our senses what you bring to the table Doctor Ramani..it's fulfilling..it's balancing.. that's the real brick and mortar of your gift. It really helps, and I'm really thankful I've seen a lot of your shows and now I actually understand. That's the actualization we're looking for in your message and as our friend, "Kyle Kittleson, would say: I've got this! I understand! I've experienced all these states . Balanced is fulfilling it may not be the euphoric gloss, but it certainly doesn't leave us running on a suicidal emptiness afterwards its expression. It embraces us where we are at, and it grounds us in its insight in the wakeful present moment. This is our big take away from today.. thank you, Doctor Ramani
Thank you Thank you Thank you. I needed this. I'm the only child of an abusive alcoholic narcissist father and codependent mother. And just now at 60yrs old beginning to understand the lingering effects.
I didn't realize how healthy my relationship with my parents was until my marriage. I'm a fairly healthy person, now, I've never been more unhappy in my life.
There are so many aspects to that personality disorder, that love bombing is usually the first clue. Why would this person lavish money time and everything on you? My biggest concern is toxic relationships if they don’t want to communicate with me, then what are they doing? As far as love bombing, that is my first clue- I am very matter of fact and dry. The only time I would ever romance anybody is if I’ve known them for a few years, are inseparable , and our relationship has deepened and become closer. That requires time and they have to be next to you physically. Not over the Internet, the phone, or anything else. There is no long distance affair, there is no Internet/ love garbage whatever. - if they can’t be next to you or communicate with you, you don’t know who they are. They could be an African a prince to someone else on the internet while they are talking smoochy smoochy to you:-/
I listen to Dr. Ramani every morning and I swear she is talking directly to me. When I first found her I felt she was talking Beginning Narcissist Abuse, then it became Intermediate NA and now we are into Advanced NA. I don't know if that is really the case or I am further along so I can hear it.
The key word is superficial. My psychopath father started on me before the age of two. I believe I have been superficial myself. Choosing about all narc relationships through out my life. And lying to myself feelings like a misfit. My heart goes deeply out to those who have been love bombed. They go into the narc relationship 100 percent. And by God the damage this narcissist does to these people! Yes narcissistic abuse does take us to our knees! Even if we are aware kinda of of what we are getting into. I’ve been talking to this beautiful soul. She had no idea! Heart and soul she put in this narc relationship! And the confusion she felt!! Anyway yea she’s ordered Dr Ramani latest book!! And she talks to me says I’m the only one who gets her. It goes both ways!! ❤
I watch your videos and for that little bit of time feel like everything makes sense. I feel clarity and feel seen. Then I go back to my life for a couple of days and I'm confused, questioning if I'm the problem and if he really is a narcissist at all. It's just such a mess and I am so exhausted all the time. Married 20 years and I still can't figure it out. Thank you for your videos.
They seek kind hearted souls who ask that question, is it me? Dr ramani is a lifeline....please do something pampering for you, maybe that takes you out of the situation, albeit briefly. Swimming or anything that helps you feel good. Thinking is overwhelming when you are exhausted and under duress.
yes, I've been realizing this lately. I'm currently working on it. my second relationship moved very slowly. They were consistent and there was no excitement. It lasted for 12 years, ended with a bang, but a much different experience. I'm finding this pattern in non-romantic relationships now. which is what I've been working on.
I'll never love again until i love myself, and I just don't. A bit too wounded. Not trying to feel sorry for myself, it just is what it is. I have this fear of being around people i didn't used to have.
I’m 43 years old, I’m a virgin, I’ve had more surgery than most people have had in several lifetimes, and I’ve seen a lot of divorces and relationships, crash and burn. I take my time in every relationship. I’m very skittish. I don’t want to say I’m Immune- But I have a Cross on my abdomen. That excludes a lot
I finally watched Inside Out 2 last week - I was looking at the decoration on the bookshelf and thought it looked like a sense of self from that movie. Then Doc brings up sense of self in the video. Now I'm smiling.
Excuse my language but Holy shit. 32 years old and now I get it. My dad, diagnosed NPD (vulnerable). My ex husband (malignant narc). I looked for someone completely opposite of my dad. Completely different on the outside but abuse cycles were identical. Ex husband was slightly worse though. Higher intensity in love bombing and higher intensity with the abuse
Trauma bonding in a narcissistic relation can happen even when you're healthy. I believed problems could be solved. I learnt the hard way not everyone is capable of having a honest, sincere conversation. My ex tried to 'love bomb' me back after the marriage crashed for several reasons and wasn't able to have an open, sincere conversation about it. And when it didn't work, he decided to gaslight and stalk me. Even so many years after the divorce he still opens fake accounts on channels like this, pretending he is such a, 'know it all, well informed and understanding' guy. He is so good at lying even lawyers believed him in court. After all he has put me through, I lost most of my empathy and compassion for him and it took a long time, bc he is the father of my children. I had hopes so many years ago we could find a way to be, at least on speaking terms, but it turned out to be mission impossible. For everything I say, he will turn it against me. So possibly everything I wrote here will end up as his. He will cherry pick and use it as if it were his words. He did it at mediation years ago. He will do it now. I have no illusions anymore.
Can you talk about Franz Kafka's letter to his father? I think it's very interesting and shows many signs of his dad being narcissistic. I think every victim of narcissistic parental abuse should read the letter.
I just wishI understood this long before I met a very impactful, possible/maybe probable narcissist, rather than just after I began learning about narcissism. At the time, although I was learning quickly, I just didn’t realize the density of narcissists and enablers out there. The enmeshed people, who may as well be narcissists themselves and who can be just as impactfully destructive and damaging. Like many have described, it seems like, once you see it, you can’t I see it, in many people or that it just seems like the same person, in a different body and, as Dr. Ramani is describing here, they may seem different, but the results can be much the same. All of the faces, relationships, environments may be different, but the narcissist is still coming from a hollow, jealous, destructive place, they’re not wired the same as you and, if they see you as competition or a threat, you’ll be a target, in a war you didn’t knowingly enter, for some time. One think I don’t think I’ve heard said, is that they can also get the best of you, because they’re wired to value hierarchy so much, they often end up in a position of power above you, not because they’re bright. But, because that is the lens they view the world through (who’s on top) and because they desperately need to be in a higher position.
I feel like my Dad made me susceptible to victimization by men as an adult. As a young g adult I only knew that I was supposed to obey orders for love. So go out into the world and you find men that take advantage of that. Women I’m sure do as well but in a more subtle way. Also it seems like there are more people now that are not healthy for relationships. It isn’t just reprogramming it’s like being a rare native plant in a farm field.
Hey Dr. Ramani, do you have any videos about how to maybe approach people who tried to warn you about the narcissist and you previously cut them off? I really don't appreciate the way people in my life approached trying to warn me, but they were ultimately right, so at this point I'm unsure if I'm supposed to try to repair bridges with them, at least acknowledge that they were right, or let them go as part of the past along with my narcissistic relationship.
While the purpose of relationship isn’t to heal our old scars, as you mentioned, does not healthy relationship-somewhat as a natural byproduct-afford that opportunity to do so? Isn’t there a degree of healing involved with being able to show-up as our whole selves, especially when perceiving safety sufficient to do so for the first time? Is that not healing in and of itself?
You need to ditch the thought that anyone who has been affected by narcissists have had a narcissistic family background. Keep the blame where it belongs, on the narcissists. You don't understand the breastplate of righteousness as I have explained many times because you're not a Christian. The breastplate in a war sense protects the heart from 'fiery darts' of the enemy but it doesn't stop them from trying to kill you. We are righteous because our Savior is righteous and we are in Him.
When you're starving, you'll eat anything.
1000%
SO TRUE!!!!!
Yes, everything tastes good!
unless. you are used to fasting. if that only had a metaphorical equivalence to your sentence, i would be healthier and have less regrets...
. Fasting is not starving
After 24 years of marriage with an undiagnosed narcissist I finally moved out and have been living on my own for almost two months now. It’s such a relief to my soul, body, and nervous system however I have been ruminating over times where my spouse was testing me throughout our relationship. Getting to the root of it all I realized that I married my mother in male form.
I have the 1 year rule in place where I’m not even thinking about entering a love relationship. This year I am intentional about my healing and rebuilding my life.
Thank you Dr Ramani❤
Keep on breaking that trauma bond & examine that parental model because it’s going to resurface in the next relationship but even more covert or sociopathic 💔❤️🩹♥️
Sounds like a veeeery good plan.
Best wishes on your healing journey.
Talking to someone who understands and having your experience validated decreases the need for rumination dramatically, in my experience. I promise it will pass soon.
Relationship detox is a must. As Dr. Ramani puts it: You shouldn't enter a relationship until you're comfortable being on your own. The only risk (from experience) is to feel so comfortable in our own that we never want to be in a relationship again!
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient...
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things.
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white...
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks..
You wont regret it.
For many of us, discovering we're in a narcissistic relationship feels like opening a Pandora Box where we finally understand what we were dealing with as children, how our brain was formatted, what it did to us. For all of us in that situation, the lessons to be learned are always: self-worth, self-love, self-respect, self-trust, and boundaries. Love bombing hits on everything we've been missing, starting with being loved and wanted.
Absolutely 💯
I was 17 and came from an abusive home. I didn't know what hit me until the kids were born. I wish they had taught this in school. But that was the 80s when narcissist wasn't really a word & we didn't have easily accessible information.
Having grown up in the Sixties and early Seventies the closest definition of narcissism was Carly Simon’s song “You’re So Vain”.
My family was not narcissistic, but I grew up with other issues that made me vulnerable. I was a people pleaser, and narcissists and other selfish people took advantage of this. What’s interesting is that the most dangerous narcissists I ever met were those that took advantage of me slowly, over long periods of time. The most malignant narcissist I ever knew was so aggressive and fast that my alarms went off quickly, and scary as it was, I was able to get out. It was because of him that I learned about psychopathy and narcissism. The slow burners used me and mistreated me for decades.
I hope I’ve learned to be more careful and, yes, judgmental if necessary.
Such a timely video! Dated a Sikh man the other night. First date in 12 years. Wasn't ever planning on dating again at 65. He picked me up in his Mercedes and made me a wonderful Indian dish. Treated me with respect and good conversation. No love bombing. Felt so different. 😊
Good luck!
The worst thing one can do for themselves is get into deep relationships without dealing with and dissecting the damage and experiences In their lives, especially with upbringing.
I was a friggin magnet until I did the deep diving over many years. Now my life is amazing because I can spot these types so quick it’s almost like playing a video game on how high my score is for spotting them out.
This tickles me 😂
Very true. Unfortunately, most of us are pointed in the right direction BY an (or a series of) abusive relationship(s). The Internet wasn't always around to point people in the right direction... I'm so glad today's generation is more informed! No one should have to wait decades to figure things out... ❤
I see everything through the lens of trauma bonding. I’m just starting to see what love isn’t. What it’s like to see value in myself. To be seen that way. No wonder I don’t enjoy romance or the love bomb phase. I feel like it’s tied to “eating shit”
I hate love bombing. Problem is I love love too much. 🙄😵💫🙂
Thank you Dr Ramani for all that you do!
Dr Ramani put the words in the story that had no words before!!
9:46 AM EST 10:45 hmm it's really 9:45.. anyhow.. euphoric recall .. having a breakthrough from this by listening to Birdy's music helps me to stay in the present in a grounding way. Euphoric recall really kept me stuck before .. something about her music helps me to visit the present in a mindful , more balanced fashion and helps me see the situation from more angles than I had before. It's not as bright and entrancing as some of my memories though it helps me break them down .. and breakthrough to the present moment which is valuable to me.. it's grounding which is different than the euphoric recall of some of my memories. This way I'm not stuck in the emptiness euphoric recall leaves in the wake of it's entrancingness and can embrace the mundane or ho hum of life with a peaceful gratitude 🙏 i much prefer this sense of uplifting humility and gratitude i feel to the emptiness and never feeling the earth beneath me that euphoric recall gives that emptiness of euphoric recall.. whatever it is - sure ain't love .. from experience I understand this now.. before I didn't understand why love bombing was awful.. now I do. Love bombing 💣 makes one chase a high.
Love.. love is the present moment as it is, however it is.. yet it is fulfilling when we embrace it, and cathartic at times in this cleansing embrace. I'll take this over all the empty gloss in the world 🌎 that seems great at first.. then leaves one very empty.. "balanced" that's love..real love..and that , I believe is the message of today in Doctor Ramani Durvasula feedback.. this is our fulfilling meal of love to our senses what you bring to the table Doctor Ramani..it's fulfilling..it's balancing.. that's the real brick and mortar of your gift. It really helps, and I'm really thankful I've seen a lot of your shows and now I actually understand. That's the actualization we're looking for in your message and as our friend, "Kyle Kittleson, would say: I've got this! I understand! I've experienced all these states . Balanced is fulfilling it may not be the euphoric gloss, but it certainly doesn't leave us running on a suicidal emptiness afterwards its expression. It embraces us where we are at, and it grounds us in its insight in the wakeful present moment. This is our big take away from today.. thank you, Doctor Ramani
Thank you Thank you Thank you. I needed this. I'm the only child of an abusive alcoholic narcissist father and codependent mother. And just now at 60yrs old beginning to understand the lingering effects.
Finally the feds allowed me to get [it's not you] from a book store. Anxious to read it. Thanks for all your adivices Dr. Ramani.
Nope. I know my past plus my present ( having this from you) makes me love bomb resistant. At a better place. Thank you, Dr. Ramani ❤
I didn't realize how healthy my relationship with my parents was until my marriage. I'm a fairly healthy person, now, I've never been more unhappy in my life.
There are so many aspects to that personality disorder, that love bombing is usually the first clue. Why would this person lavish money time and everything on you?
My biggest concern is toxic relationships if they don’t want to communicate with me, then what are they doing?
As far as love bombing, that is my first clue-
I am very matter of fact and dry.
The only time I would ever romance anybody is if I’ve known them for a few years, are inseparable , and our relationship has deepened and become closer.
That requires time and they have to be next to you physically. Not over the Internet, the phone, or anything else.
There is no long distance affair, there is no Internet/ love garbage whatever.
- if they can’t be next to you or communicate with you, you don’t know who they are. They could be an African a prince to someone else on the internet while they are talking smoochy smoochy to you:-/
I listen to Dr. Ramani every morning and I swear she is talking directly to me. When I first found her I felt she was talking Beginning Narcissist Abuse, then it became Intermediate NA and now we are into Advanced NA. I don't know if that is really the case or I am further along so I can hear it.
I go to bed with Dr Ramani every night. She has saved me on many levels. I share her with so many
She makes perfect sense
The key word is superficial. My psychopath father started on me before the age of two. I believe I have been superficial myself. Choosing about all narc relationships through out my life. And lying to myself feelings like a misfit. My heart goes deeply out to those who have been love bombed. They go into the narc relationship 100 percent. And by God the damage this narcissist does to these people! Yes narcissistic abuse does take us to our knees! Even if we are aware kinda of of what we are getting into. I’ve been talking to this beautiful soul. She had no idea! Heart and soul she put in this narc relationship! And the confusion she felt!! Anyway yea she’s ordered Dr Ramani latest book!! And she talks to me says I’m the only one who gets her. It goes both ways!! ❤
I watch your videos and for that little bit of time feel like everything makes sense. I feel clarity and feel seen. Then I go back to my life for a couple of days and I'm confused, questioning if I'm the problem and if he really is a narcissist at all. It's just such a mess and I am so exhausted all the time. Married 20 years and I still can't figure it out. Thank you for your videos.
They seek kind hearted souls who ask that question, is it me? Dr ramani is a lifeline....please do something pampering for you, maybe that takes you out of the situation, albeit briefly. Swimming or anything that helps you feel good. Thinking is overwhelming when you are exhausted and under duress.
yes, I've been realizing this lately. I'm currently working on it. my second relationship moved very slowly. They were consistent and there was no excitement. It lasted for 12 years, ended with a bang, but a much different experience. I'm finding this pattern in non-romantic relationships now. which is what I've been working on.
Even geuniune compliments feel disingenuous now. Look at everyone suspiciously now.
It takes a lot of time to heal.
It's not that we're unlovable but I think we should question ourselves why will (should) anybody love me?
I'll never love again until i love myself, and I just don't. A bit too wounded. Not trying to feel sorry for myself, it just is what it is. I have this fear of being around people i didn't used to have.
I was looking at Google streetview of where I grew up last night and got emotional
"The house that built me." -Miranda Lambert always makes me cry which it never did before my narc relationship.
@Blackcatsrlucky thank you for sharing that song
I’m 43 years old, I’m a virgin, I’ve had more surgery than most people have had in several lifetimes, and I’ve seen a lot of divorces and relationships, crash and burn.
I take my time in every relationship. I’m very skittish.
I don’t want to say I’m Immune- But I have a Cross on my abdomen. That excludes a lot
This hit close to home. There was a point in the video where everything just kinda hit at once and I started bawling. Thanks for your videos❤
I finally watched Inside Out 2 last week - I was looking at the decoration on the bookshelf and thought it looked like a sense of self from that movie. Then Doc brings up sense of self in the video. Now I'm smiling.
Thanks!
Crumbs matter after starvation by narc parents
You used the word "yearning"... Is that the same as "desperate"? where does that word fit? Thank you !!! 👍❤❤❤
No. My two past relationships involved with sociopathic covert narcissists have solidified my resolve in never getting into another relationship.
Christine Albright
Brilliant video 🙏....
Spot on 🙏...
Thank you 🙏...
Excuse my language but Holy shit. 32 years old and now I get it. My dad, diagnosed NPD (vulnerable). My ex husband (malignant narc). I looked for someone completely opposite of my dad. Completely different on the outside but abuse cycles were identical. Ex husband was slightly worse though. Higher intensity in love bombing and higher intensity with the abuse
Love the message
thanks to Dr. Ramani, I'm immune to lovebombing 😂
Now that I know about mirror ring. I refuse to date. There so obvious now.
The first time they meet you, “I think I love you “, IDIOTS!
The dupe is BIG.
How can one fix the problems of not previously been seen or loved without finally being seen and loved?
Trauma bonding in a narcissistic relation can happen even when you're healthy. I believed problems could be solved. I learnt the hard way not everyone is capable of having a honest, sincere conversation. My ex tried to 'love bomb' me back after the marriage crashed for several reasons and wasn't able to have an open, sincere conversation about it. And when it didn't work, he decided to gaslight and stalk me. Even so many years after the divorce he still opens fake accounts on channels like this, pretending he is such a, 'know it all, well informed and understanding' guy. He is so good at lying even lawyers believed him in court. After all he has put me through, I lost most of my empathy and compassion for him and it took a long time, bc he is the father of my children. I had hopes so many years ago we could find a way to be, at least on speaking terms, but it turned out to be mission impossible. For everything I say, he will turn it against me. So possibly everything I wrote here will end up as his. He will cherry pick and use it as if it were his words. He did it at mediation years ago. He will do it now. I have no illusions anymore.
Can you talk about Franz Kafka's letter to his father? I think it's very interesting and shows many signs of his dad being narcissistic. I think every victim of narcissistic parental abuse should read the letter.
No I doubt it…sad what our society has become and these low level crap bs
🙏💜🇿🇦 You are right.
I just wishI understood this long before I met a very impactful, possible/maybe probable narcissist, rather than just after I began learning about narcissism. At the time, although I was learning quickly, I just didn’t realize the density of narcissists and enablers out there. The enmeshed people, who may as well be narcissists themselves and who can be just as impactfully destructive and damaging. Like many have described, it seems like, once you see it, you can’t I see it, in many people or that it just seems like the same person, in a different body and, as Dr. Ramani is describing here, they may seem different, but the results can be much the same. All of the faces, relationships, environments may be different, but the narcissist is still coming from a hollow, jealous, destructive place, they’re not wired the same as you and, if they see you as competition or a threat, you’ll be a target, in a war you didn’t knowingly enter, for some time. One think I don’t think I’ve heard said, is that they can also get the best of you, because they’re wired to value hierarchy so much, they often end up in a position of power above you, not because they’re bright. But, because that is the lens they view the world through (who’s on top) and because they desperately need to be in a higher position.
I just wish it was real.. and truly meant.
Love belong to the young quote by Karl Lagerfeldt .
Yes: mine does!
People need to remember that psychopaths are out there targeting certain individuals.
Do narcissists love bomb their friends? My ex phones his friends frequently...some of them daily or even more often.
absolutely do
How do you deal with your friend getting lovebombed but you can't say it because you will be seen as jealous but it's so obvious it hurts????
Say something.
Your words will resonate with the friend.
I feel like my Dad made me susceptible to victimization by men as an adult. As a young g adult I only knew that I was supposed to obey orders for love. So go out into the world and you find men that take advantage of that. Women I’m sure do as well but in a more subtle way. Also it seems like there are more people now that are not healthy for relationships. It isn’t just reprogramming it’s like being a rare native plant in a farm field.
Hey Dr. Ramani, do you have any videos about how to maybe approach people who tried to warn you about the narcissist and you previously cut them off? I really don't appreciate the way people in my life approached trying to warn me, but they were ultimately right, so at this point I'm unsure if I'm supposed to try to repair bridges with them, at least acknowledge that they were right, or let them go as part of the past along with my narcissistic relationship.
While the purpose of relationship isn’t to heal our old scars, as you mentioned, does not healthy relationship-somewhat as a natural byproduct-afford that opportunity to do so? Isn’t there a degree of healing involved with being able to show-up as our whole selves, especially when perceiving safety sufficient to do so for the first time? Is that not healing in and of itself?
ADHD suffers also love bomb
How do you overcome that tendency?
Probably 😢
its either Dr Ramani offering me best love bombing of my life or maybe i forgot to take my pills. AGAIN.
Oxytocin !
2nd, 19 November 2024
Not all narcissists are very good love bombers as well…. lol
Is the audio imbalanced for anyone else? 😅
You need to ditch the thought that anyone who has been affected by narcissists have had a narcissistic family background. Keep the blame where it belongs, on the narcissists. You don't understand the breastplate of righteousness as I have explained many times because you're not a Christian. The breastplate in a war sense protects the heart from 'fiery darts' of the enemy but it doesn't stop them from trying to kill you. We are righteous because our Savior is righteous and we are in Him.