How to Spot a Fake Alpha
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ต.ค. 2024
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John Lovell observes that, culturally speaking, many men claiming to be "alpha male" aren't actually alpha male at all. In this episode John shares what an alpha male is, why they matter and five ways to spot a fake.
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The only thing i disagree with is Rogan putting introverts and lack of confidence together. Im an introvert at heart, but im extremely confident in myself. Im just an introvert, because most people are annoying lol
Here ,here brother
I agree. I just don't like being around stupid people and boy there's a💩load out there.
I agree 100%. I'm confident in my abilities, and when needed, I can certainly lead a team effectively, but I don't seek out unnecessary social interactions.
@@stevemax00🇺🇸👍🏻🇺🇸
@@patrioticjeeper1298🇺🇸👍🏻🇺🇸
Anyone who says, “I’m the Alpha” isn’t. That’s the fastest way to tell because a real leader simply leads
Any trait that needs to be announced is not really there. Kinda like "I'm huge".
Truth.I never say I’m an Alpha-and in a real world situation where a leader is needed-there’s always someone who will bounce up and say I’m the leader.
Personally,I am a former Special Forces officer-a Major,and if you ask anyone in my life if I’m an Alpha male,they wouldn’t know how to answer.I am unassuming,quiet,and read people from afar before judging them-kind of like my dog does.Anyone who has to be in charge-They just showed they shouldn’t be because they will fail.
De Oppresso Liber!
Came to say the same thing.
Or people are drawn to them.
Same as when girls preface anything with "I'm a lady." Usually something degenerate follows...
"They build nothing, but deconstruct everything". Powerful point there.
But that's exactly what this channel is doing??
They have a know-it-all personality, and will claim others achievements as their own.
@@nonyabusinessinc John is also a business owner, author, public speaker, combat veteran, father, husband, missionary, etc. He's built a lot more than myself or most people I'd say. Lol
Betas built this platform....lol
The best description for a leader I've heard is "I'm not in charge. I'm responsible."
When the person who is responsible isn't in charge the group will soon fail.
@@ericjames7819 Not if you train your team properly. Or you can ride that glory hog.
I'm a lead where I work and I agree with this comment. I don't micromanage my guys and they take breaks when they want to. Lunch is when they want to take it. I just assign them a job and tell them if they need a hand let me know. Haven't had any issues yet.
@@ValenceFlux so the secret service agents who piled on top of Trump were responsible for their supervisor's ineptitude? Of course not. That's how easily the above statement about responsibility and authority falls apart.
@@ericjames7819 When you have an approved plan and protocol to follow then that is what you do. If they were denied any additional support upon request as I hear on the news well I don't have an answer. Those teams are said to be the best of the best proven and tested.
One of the best battalion commanders I had in my Army career was an introvert. He was a very smart guy, with a very subdued, dry sense of humor. He was analytical, but didn't agonize over making decisions, went to bat for his people, invested a lot of time and effort developing his junior officers. He never passed the buck, and didn't tolerate those who did.
He sounds like the realest to be honest
You can he was your battalion commander for a reason right?
Sounds like an "alpha" without all the bluster
This video led to self evaluation of me. Then my corporal evaluated me. An honest, non scientific prognosis was that my corporal & I are both humble, and care for others while exuding the right things at the right times. Strength & righteousness when applied , can be very compelling. My corporal in this exercise was my wife. And I'm her Sgt. But those roles switch when necessary. This was a very well thought out video . Kudos all around.
@@MPNinjacritter As a young lieutenant I was told to strive to be the officer soldiers *wanted* to salute, not the officer soldiers *had* to salute.
like Tywin Lannister said in Game of Thrones "Any king that must say "I am the King" is no true king"
Spot on
I literally just read that chapter!
I was just thinking this too!
💯.
Don’t know this reference but Christ is King.
Norman Schwarzkopf said that he could walk into a room of people anywhere and immediately know who the leaders were, he said often times the true leader was not the appointed leader of the group
@@turkwelsch I knew General Swartzkopf during the Gulf War,and of all the leaders in the military I served with and under-he stood out as the most memeaning,arrogant extremely rough officers.He would scream at subordinates and run them ragged.Contrary to General Colin Powell,whom everyone loved and everyone would follow to the gates of hell if he asked you to go with him.Myself included.
Strength is generally quiet, contrarily weakness is not.
Cowardice can be quite also.
@davidd1289 Can. But do you ever notice how small dogs tend to yap their heads off, while a Mastiff tends to sit and observe?
In nature, loud, colorful, bombastic, puffed-up animals are trying to scare something away--because they're scared.
That's too general. Quiet in respect to being the leader sure but being extroverted doesn't make you a bad leader.
Everyone is an individual, there have been great brash leaders and quiet lead by example leaders in history.. Just because one does not care for someone else’s opinions or the way they market themselves does not make them a “fake alpha”..
I've owned a fair number of dogs in my life, I had one true alpha. He was the dominant dog in any group he was in. He had several qualities that were different from other dogs I owned.
He was highly intelligent. He was intelligent enough for long term planning and deception. I know because I was on the receiving end of his plans.
He was very motivated. I never saw him give up on something that he tried to do.
He was observant. He would routinely learn to do something by simply watching. For example after watching me dig to plant a row of corn he started digging the corn rows.
He was measured in his response and aggression. He never overreacted to another dog. He would apply exactly the force necessary to dominate but would never subjugate. He would also allow weaker dogs to have more "success" against him before they lost.
He tended to be very quiet and would often sit slightly separate from the other dogs when the group was resting.
He was loyal.
The biggest thing I noticed was he was very respectful of rightful authority. Every morning he would challenge me for dominance, but when I demonstrated calm, firm authority he would obey the rest of the day. He also would not obey anyone else. He wouldn't accept any bribe of food or attention.
I have a cat like that. 😹🍺
@@michaelnewswanger2409 I had a Chesapeake Bay Retriever just like that. A true son of a beotch. Got along as long as he wasn’t tested by other animals. Spooky, mumbly, grouchy. he protected my family through two separate run ins with bad guys. Also got me in trouble with a few bites on people who didn’t know how to approach a dawg( misspelling intended). He was smart, obedient and full of tricks to test me but I appreciate that in s hunting companion. We had an agreement That I drive to the lease then I’ll follow his lead out in the field. More than once I had to elbow him out from behind the steering wheel when we got ready to leave. 🙄I miss him dearly😳
Sounds like a good loyal smart dog.
What breed was he?
@@afinelad3673 English shepherd, it's a working breed slightly smaller than a German shepherd but more stocky.
A good leader knows when to follow. This rings true holistically when referring to Alpha's too. An individual with a massive ego, can't set it aside long enough to fathom that someone else might be better suited to accomplish a task.
The military can be a prime example of both.
If you feel the need to say "I'm the boss", you're probably not a real boss
YEP!!! The second you have to TELL people that you're in charge... you are not in charge.
Sounds like a married man! Lol
That’s literally the motto of the micro manager.
LOOK AT ME. I AM DE CAPTAIN NOW! 😂
Does it count if your kids ask who's the boss 😂
A fake alpha moves to serve his own ego. A true Alpha serves others through strong leadership.
Alpha is NOT a personality trait. A man that dominates, either to serve his ego or to serve others, is still an alpha.
@@JustGabenegative
Negative the second is toxic
This is why Christ is the all-time ultimate alpha.
@@IronSharpensIron127No he's right. What you are doing is confusing alpha for benevolent leader. And you're confusing it because on an emotional level you WANT it to be the way you're claiming. Fact is Alphas can be bad or good people. In the end they come, they conquer, and take. That's it.
A wise man once said "There are leaders and there are people that just want power"
Democrats
In the idealized world, or if one wants to be cynical the kindergarten classroom, these are different things. in the real world they are the same thing.
Alexander and Caesar were great leaders that led their nations to world dominating success and centuries of benefit to their people. They were also in simultaneously deeply conceited and served their own ego and aggrandizement.
The idea that there are pure leaders that have all the strengths and capability of dominant individuals but none of the corruption is a fantasy. Likewise is a fantasy that a man who is out entirely for himself but is exceptionally competent and strong can't somehow be beneficial to other people. he can, and throughout history he has.
Trump
@@travisschwengel6999 really, he's describing Trump at the core, praises himself for good things and then blames other people when shit hits the fan... Fake alpha, especially when he dodged a draft for bone spurs
Good stuff
Being an introvert isn't a lack of anything. It's internalizing thought, emotion and spending time on self reflection instead of talking incessantly to impress others while seeking their approval. That's unconfident and weak.
The people who talk the most have the least that's worth talking about.
Yeah Joe tries a couple times to connect being an introvert with anxiety. It’s more like a preference for introspection over phony peacocking displays. Dudes who fancy themselves alphas love to create comforting narratives that support their egos.
That not always the case, if you are socially introverted and anxious it is really hard to hold proper conversation. I think it is best to be in the middle.
@@tf841 The misconception is that introverted and anxious somehow go together. I'm introverted but confident in who I am and what I believe. It's just not the world's business. I'm content to be reserved.
@@festushaggen2563 That's true, alltho not for all people. We are all diffen't and sometimes silence is louder than talking.
A lion doesn't go around bragging that he's a lion - he just goes out and does what lions do.
Lies, lions have to prove he is the Lion in front of his mates and new young lion that infringe on his Pride.
@@appollo1826 and he does that by doing what lions do.
I think pooping falls under that category too. And rooooring.
Clearly you haven’t seen lions roar or their grandstanding..
@@micahdunleavy9227 okay, stranger on TH-cam. Thanks for telling me about myself. 🙄
Well for one thing, anyone who refers to themselves as alpha (unprompted at least) is most certainly NOT that
Sad to see John to go full moron, nobody should ever go full moron. WTF is feminist label "alpha" male doing on this channel and what made john the god and why we should have to look at everything through perverted catholic lens? There are good men, bad men and simps. John starting to sound like a simp
Even when prompted, if someone claims that they are an alpha then theyre not one
@@xThe_Lichx there is only MEN and SIMPS. You talk like a simp
True that. Reminds me of the quote, "No king needs to tell people he's the king". Or queen for that matter.
In regards to all this alpha sigma crap. Bjorn andreas bull-Hansen said it best.
Just be a man. That’s enough.
It's basically astrology for men
@@rickswordfire4774so true and pretty funny.
Well said!
@@rickswordfire4774damn. I've been searching for a way to describe that "alpha" movement. You nailed it
That guy is great. Calm, inquisitive, but didn't put up with crap.
Everyone is a tough guy until they meet a tough guy.
Can you explain more? What does that mean to you?
Warrior guy explained pretty well that most tough guys are mentally toddlers.
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face
~Mike Tyson~
I think Margaret Thatcher said something about being powerful that went something like “Being powerful is like being beautiful, if you have to say you are, you aren’t.”
False. You can acknowledge people tell you everyday. It doesn't mean you aren't.
@@appollo1826someone’s feelings hurt
Alpha doesn’t = leader.
Leader = Leader and being a leader is choice you make. A choice to develop your capacity to lead.
The irony of Adam Ruins Everything is Adam knows nothing.
The thing he ruined the most was his credibility.
Dope comment @@DeadlyPlatypus
Facts
The research on animal alphas has been debunked. He seems to not know the details on that or how that applies to people or the actual conversation at hand. "Alpha" humans was always a metaphor of this animal research and never a proven extension. You can't take the debunking of the underlying research as a refutation of our social observations. He knows just enough to believe he can shut down anyone who disagrees with him.
what?
As stated in scripture, to lead you must first serve and serve righteously.
"Band of Brothers' is such a great case study of what this video explains. Love it. So good.
“What would have done if you had won?” -Dick Winters
Replace 'alpha' with "mature" and 'fake alpha' with "immature" and everything he's talking about flows more smoothly and makes more sense.
A real man never says he is. He just is, and everybody around him knows it.
He does say it, that is how people know and test his mantle.
@@appollo1826rather than say it, demonstrate it 🤫
Another point I'd like to add. Success and/or money does not make someone an alpha.
Or, smart and possessing all knowledge about EVERYTHING!
Power always comes with authority, but authority doesn’t always come with power.
Success is an indicator. Success often means someone is doing something correctly/competantly. It depends on what you view vs what others view as successful. It’s not a for sure thing but being successful and maintaining success usually does mean something but not always.
This depends on what your metrics for success are. There are many different ways a man can choose to measure how successful he is
With regards to this comment and thread, I would say sacrifice and wisdom are two very important aspects of being a true man (alpha).
In regards to Adam and guys like him: it seems like people who reject hierarchies do it because they sense they wouldn't be/are not at the top of it.
People who just want autonomy without the need to lead or follow someone else are almost never like Adam. He's just an angry loser.
It’s like men competing against women then saying they are the best because they smoked the competition…. Not finishing top ten in men division…..
Humans are capable of creating artificial hierarchies. In nature hierarchies benefit the species, but humans have the ability to create hierarchies that are detrimental to the species.
He's coping hard
The best leaders I ever had, I never saw them insult anyone.
Genesis khan, end of story.
@@joshualambert8346Who the heck is Genesis Khan?😆
Insults are subjective. If you're Fn up I'll let you know and hope you'll have the nutz to straighten me out when I stray from mission.
@@lopaka79 correction and insults are two different things.
💯💯💯
Great stuff, John. I am a JROTC instructor, and I will be using this video with my cadet staff to supplement the leadership curriculum. Can't wait. Thank you, Sir!
Good Leadership is not a Trait, it is a Skill it must be developed from being a good follower.
A leader is someone others are willing to follow simple as that the more people are willing to follow them the greater a leader they are because there is no way they can communicate with everyone yet they are on board with the mission
I think it’s a mixture of traits and skill….there are some personality traits that no matter the experience or skill that person has attained, people still respect and naturally want to follow. That is a KEY characteristic of a true leader. Do people WANT to please and follow you? However, if your track record is poor and you have a history of making bad choices, it also won’t matter how much people respect you, they aren’t going to follow you because your history of failure. Skills are important as well.
That's one of the core fundamentals of a great leader, knowing when it's time to learn & when it's time to lead. I'd say that's 1 or 2 in terms of importance for a leader. 1 being compassion & understanding along with blind justice for those who misinterpret or choose not to follow the group dynamics.
Anyone can follow. Few can lead.
Like Tony said."those that want respect, give respect ".
I had a really good squad leader in the army that would say a leader's job is to take responsibility, not credit.
Are there any real men out there that care about these labels?
I mean I'm just raising my family, working my land, and doing the best I can to contribute to my society. I don't have time to care what other people think about me. That probably makes me not an alpha. I don't care.
If you lead your family in a positive, beneficial direction and imo seek consult from your spouse and children regarding larger decisions, I would say you are an alpha, (if u care for the label😂)
I don't think any humble man even considers whether he's alpha or not. We should be too busy getting shit done and treating people well.
I think the whole debate is childish.
@@majorcoats7777 But not irrelevant since it's a cultural concern these days, especially with the preponderance of fake gurus out there.
Real Men argument. Just say you're weak among other men.
I don’t believe you can be an effective leader until you can first be led. I appreciate this video, thank you!
“Most men can withstand adversity, but to test a man’s true character give him power”- Abraham Lincoln
Yeah, and look what that a55hat did to our country. He was simply interested in ruling. Neat trick, tell us all your an antiglobalist and then go do all the globalist ideals .
Chest shaving is the best clue.
😂
shaving their own chest, or the chests of other men?
@@andym1594 - All of the above
I’m Asian, we have no chest hair please advise 😅
@Redbloodroadrunner you get a pass
Too many men wanna be the alpha just for the title, but you can clearly see they are not with a simple heart check.
young(er) males care about this due to social media. In times past, I don't think people/men cared about bs labels. They did what had to be done. Sometimes one needs to follow and be the best 1st mate possible. Other times it is time to lead. Situations oftentimes dictate the best leaders.
The most needed attribute in leadership: the ability to recognize greatness in others.
I have to agree, aye. When you are in a group, the *group* decides who is calling the shots, not the big ego chimp who things they can declare themselves king. The bossy one can perhaps get away with it for a bit but in the end a coalition of less dominant but cooperative people will put them in their place.
The whole Alpha Male thing is a complete myth.
"A man has GOT to know his limitations."
- Harry Callahan
Great point 👍
Yes. We wouldn't have all these fake alphas out here if it wasn't for social media, by and large.
Another awesome video brother.. good to see I’m not the only one to think the way I do. Been bin watching your videos.. following for a long time, but recently got guided back to you. We see the same values and has brought a lot of ease into my life. Thanks brother.
A fake Alpha sounds a lot like a politician. Strength, Knowledge, Integrity, and Perseverance.
I like everything except that you said being an alpha comes naturally. For some it does. Some of us used to be real betas. I became self aware many years ago and realized that i needed to make major changes. I will spend the rest of my life trying to become the leader that my family and men need me to be. Thank you for today's reflection. God bless
The more managers I come across the more I realize that the people who want to lead are often the worst at it and the people who don't want to lead but instead just quietly get on with doing the work, they are more skilled and make better leaders
@@driver3899 I found that I was surrounded by people in need of a leader especially my family. From a biblical standpoint every man with a family is a leader, or is supposed to be a leader. This is why women leading men is so detrimental to our society it is not how God created it. I know I'll catch heat for that one, but I'm going to tell the truth regardless.
@@IronSharpensIron127 I totally agree
there can only be one head of a family, one captain of a ship and if its the woman then they loose respect for the man because she always has to make the decisions and then the man looses respect for himself. I have seen it in plenty of relationships. Just seems to be the way we are built, only one good solution, the man is the captain and is guided and helped by the woman.
They are like natural navigators anyway, seeing trouble on the horizon before a man does and can warn him so he can choose a good course of action for the family. In my eyes they compliment each other perfectly like that combing their natural strengths for the best result and end up respecting each other more. Just my opinion of course
@@driver3899 I believe you nailed it, that is exactly what I he Bible teaches!
@@IronSharpensIron127 You want to know what's interesting though, dating coaches (channels like Dan Bacon explains it well, MyNonLeatherLife talks about the female mind finding guys attractive when they do this) and also relationship specialists advocate the same idea.
It seems to be an approach that is universally seen as working. If people push back on you for it, don't forget to tell them that regardless of if they think its right or not, it works for couples all across the world. The evidence shows its not to be easily dismissed as just as old fashioned thinking.
It was true in Bible times and its still true now, that's why it works.
Some of the Fake Alphas are sociopaths. There is a great book, The Sociopath Next Door, that gives insight on such people.
So, I feel like this is a very worthwhile conversation that each individual should have with themselves. Listening to y’all talk, I recounted several events in my past few days and while I never considered myself to be an alpha, I did consider myself to be a potential leader.so glad I washed this video, and there is a very good point that humility is the first bullet point that Jon brought up. Cheers fellas.
One thing I've learned lately, sometimes the ability to not regulate your emotions can be due to trauma, but a real leader would do the hard work to heal those traumas to be a better person, and hold themselves accountable when they lose focus.
spoiler, its always due to trauma, just depends how far back you want to look
This was mind-blowingly brilliant. What you said at 6:58 about building & leading movements vs. deconstructing and bickering, and 7:54 "critiquing everything, building nothing." I've never heard it phrased so concisely and perfectly. Gained even more respect for your wisdom and insight.
The terms alpha and beta were derived from a study on the behavior of wolves. The author of the study later declared it as flawed, because wolves were in captivity which, altered their behavior compared to wolves in the wild.
Yes. I used to repeat the false findings myself.
Regardless, the need for recognizing in repeatable expressions, what we all see as occurrences daily, must be met.
It's about time for actual social psychologists and anthropologists to start expressing some relevant classifications.
Maybe "the great five" can fill that role to some extent.
I'm sick to the teeth with discussions running away down rabbit holes, when they can't even start with a decent set of definitions first. Alfa, beta, omega, sigma is the most obvious, but also the word "racist" isn't a useful word, since it doesn't work in both directions.
There was a similar debate in drug and criminology treatment, that "you can't only attack a problem with your brain, you have to use your heart too". Very similar deficiency in logic to the "you must have a diverse team to succeed, but we won't accept there are differences between races and sexes".
@@impalaSS65my man said yeah i know its fake but i like it 😂🤡
Matthew 7:3-5
It’s important that before trying to spot the fake leaders and self promoters that you check that you’re not under the same banner. This video really encouraged me to evaluate myself. Thank you
Another great video John! I only have a handful of UTUBE guys I take the time out of my busy schedule to watch, and your wisdom and indepth understanding of philosophy / psychology and leadership is heavy. I'm 57 , and retiring in about 3 years. I have some things left on my bucket list, but have also worked hard my whole career as a railroad man, lived a very fulfilling life, consider myself a patriot and a spiritual man ,and I always recommend you to anyone I work with or meet in public who needs guidance and is willing to listen to advice. Keep up the good work ! God Bless America 🇺🇸 🙏
Soooo good!!! (I think your comment of "look around and people will be already following them" is my number one personal check
100% disabled army vet here. I was watching one of Commander David Fravor's interviews, he was the FA18 super hornet pilot who saw the tic tac ufo back in 2004 and commander of "The Black Aces". What a badass dude. He talked about the "80% solution", being ok with it, familiar with it and be able to make that call instantly, confidently and assertively then execute and move on. You can only do that with a bit of narcissism and a shit ton of confidence. This video was fucking fantastic. Thank you sir.
No experience here, but ive heard those are traits that make good pilots. They want to see self confidence and ego. Thank you for your service.
Your 100% disabled?
@@joshuarosenwald6490 Yes
@@Zeus33rd sorry to hear that!
@@joshuarosenwald6490 don't be, I don't let it define me. I just try to be the best version of me that I can be
It's dumb how so many people think that not being outgoing or talkative means you are a beta. There have been many great leaders and great men that weren't very social. You can still be an alpha and also not care to waste time on pointless small talk.
Facts
The irony of some internet influencer telling people what an alpha is.
Found "Dichotomy of Leadership" helpful in thinking about dyads. Good leaders are self-controlled servants for the mission of the organization, and able to move back and forth between building and deconstructing obstacles that matter.
Great stuff John. Thanks.
Usefull conversation. Leaves a lot to think about. Always working on being better for my family
I’ll be honest. I know I’m not an alpha. Never been and don’t see the need to. It works for my life and my relationship. My wife is a NP and I support her role. I’m basically the best support system for the house, for the family and making sure everything runs smoothly. I don’t see a problem with not being an alpha male.
People fail to recognize/realize the leadership qualities required to do what you are doing. This whole alfa thing is overblown and usually by guy people who have inadequacy issues and need to overcompensate.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being alpha a long as yo don’t fake it. I don’t know if I am he most alpha in a group or not. I simply do the right thing and do what a good man should do regardless of what measure of resolve or force that might take.
You notice the difference when you enter a dangerous situation to rescue others, while onlookers watch. Sometimes you can recruit some of those onlookers.
They have to have moral values, humility, grit and backbone, discipline
I prefer to be followed by those who choose to follow me, not because I tell them they should.
Great video
I wish you taught a class like this to every male student in America
Welp I'm gonna be real this was an eye opener for me. Especially the part about working out, working long hours, and having masculine hobbies but having no control over your emotions. Apparently I've got a lot of work to do. On the bright side I've been getting better at taking accountability so there's that lol
We all have a lot of work to do. The only point I'd add to John's list is that alphas are always improving. So, working in the right direction is admirable.
With you in the struggle! Thanks for being real
Being an "Alpha" is not something I aspire too, and I don't care for social proof. I'm a loner and I go my own path.
You are probably a sigma
🇺🇸👍🏻🇺🇸👍🏻🇺🇸❤️
@@ikeb9367 and I'm an Aquarius
@@rickswordfire4774yall would have good chemistry
The odd thing about it that's hard to understand. That kind of mindset is more "alpha" in of itself
Anyone who unironically uses the term “alpha” is most definitely not an alpha.
I've never seen myself as an alpha. But the way you described an alpha is the way I lead my crews at work and when things go sideways outside of work. I seam to always take up a security role, and people come to me for help, and advise
This gave me things to think about and work on. I suck at the emotional side of all of this. Anger is a default for me.. Thanks for the video!
Ngl I misread the thumbnail as how to spot a fake alpaca.... I was very confused until I clicked on a video to actually watch it
hard to find good alpaca content on YT these days
Lmao
I would click on that video too.
Oh my God, imagine if that was the actual video, with _zero_ explanation!
Llamas are superior anyhow.
People without a "spine" usually become "jellyfish" floating along drifting whatever direction the "current" flows.
Plankton, nekton, benthos. You got floaters, intentional swimmers, and then bottom feeders. The world is an ocean.
12:42 You don't choose the alpha life, that alpha life chooses you. Since you don't want that job anyway. Which is what makes you eligible lmao
That's simply not true. Wow.
@@mrfuriouser say more?
@ItsOnlyGenjutsu Alphas ABSOLUTELY seek out the role of "leader" at any and all costs. They desire the power role and will protect that power - even to their own detriment. Alphas will spend considerable time watching their backs for anyone attempting to take their place.
You described Sigma traits. They are also great leaders; albeit sometimes they are reluctant to do so. A Sigma would relinquish their leadership role, willingly, if someone better were to come along.
@mrfuriouser so, there are two legit alphas. One is better qualified over the other one, the lesser one (also qualified). Is already the alpha chosen. There is a problem that needs change that the higher qualified alpha has experience in plus could fulfill what was already being done. The lesser alpha wouldn't relinquish leadership knowing full well that his pack would be better if he did so? And perhaps led training or something of the sort? (Hopefully that was readable, spamming this out as my food is getting cold haha)
@energizerwolf5574 One is not necessarily exclusive of the other. Enjoy your bag.
True leadership is servitude, you build others up and want them to succeed as much as you do. Real Leaders don’t crave power.
The military team /leader analysis is exactly correct, in basically every instance. Really good point that should be up front. All the good leaders in military are always people who are actively managing the fitness and needs of the team, for the purpose of making each individual as capable and strong as they can be.
*Thanks for the insight John. It's always good to have another perspective*
They wanted to add Chuck Norris' face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris does not eat honey.
He chews bees.
Today I learned that John is a pastor! Who coulda thunk it that we could love this man more? What an absolute legend.
That is awesome!
So?
You should watch some Captain Jeff Strueker's work. Humble and brave!
imagine such a grifter being a pastor...
@@DCresident123 imagine some person in TH-cam comments thinking their judgment is greater than God's. Don't judge people so harshly, you may find that you enjoy the people you're speaking poorly of.
Great video. I think you can extend all of these points not just to fake alphas, but ineffective leaders. I've worked for a couple of people who exhibit these traits that I wouldn't classify as an 'alpha' in the way we think of it (in shape, dominant physical presence), but people who exhibit these traits that physically look soft, etc.
I’m a single father of 2 teens (18yo boy, 15yo girl) who I’ve raised alone, with help from Grandma and Papa, for the last 15 years. I AM the Alpha in our family, I think. This conversation has been a great listen for me, and has shined light on some of my behavior!
There are good leaders in times of war some are good for peace. Not usually interchangeable? I follow a life coach that makes people around cringe, but he is exactly what i needed to hear. He helped me to save my family. 1 hour of hearing him saved a 15 year marriage and still saving it 6 years later. My wife and family have never been so great. Some alphas arent for everybody
Who was the alpha can I ask?
Fake Alpha? I recall something along those lines when I was in the Navy 25+ years ago. There was this guy who always liked to puff his chest and would openly proclaim, "I'm a tough guy!" Unimpressed, I told him, "Well, it's a good thing you told me or I might not have known." Another of his favorite proclamations was how tough he was because "I've had my nose broken 5 times!" To which I responded, "Maybe you're not good at protecting your face." Oh it doesn't end there. He'd also go on about how good he was at football. To which I asked him, "If you were so good, how come no college made you an offer?" Needles to say, he and I didn't get along. LOL!!!
Humility, the pursuit of deep relationships, founded on moral principles indicates a true alpha. Pride, manipulation and aggressiveness without boundaries indicates a fake
Hear, hear!
Well said
Joining TWPS, love the content, John. It's amazing how you tie it all together, and your preaching is great. Thanks, brother. Using your God-given gift to help others. Great message and great community.
Point 3: I tell my children, "Nobody wants to hear excuses." Point 4: Standing up for what's right...often you stand alone. Still a leader in my opinion.
I love that you delineate between humble leaders and bellicose bullies. I've never thought of myself as an Alpha, as I've always struggle with the discipline to control my environment (neatness of my house, etc.), but I've started to realize that I have other good leadership traits that I don't give myself credit for. I build consensus, I try to always respect other opinions, I take accountability for my mistakes, I mentor others whenever possible... I have many ways that I need to improve, but this makes me realize that maybe I'm further along than I thought. I disagree that leaders are born, though. My upbringing made me excessively humble and too reserved to strongly defend my opinion, out of fear of upsetting others. I've been on an ongoing journey of self-improvement in which I've had to FORCE myself into a new mindset.
Big dogs don't have to bark
calmness in the storm, when chaos starts are they calm and does this lead to others being grounded
I still look to the adage of the quietest in the room is the most dangerous
Nope...not always true. That's just a generalization that is kind of ignorant. Conor McGregor, Mohammed Ali, Floyd Mayweather Jr...a few examples of big mouths who were the baddest men on the planet.
@@JoshBenware Fedor Emelianenko, khabib nurmagomedov, both quiet men who can destroy Conner McgGregor who fit the model I think OP was talking about. True there is no blanket rule one way or another but its also true that quiet super dangerous men exist
@driver3899 not saying quiet dangerous men don't exist. Just saying that they aren't the only dangerous men.
@@JoshBenware Very fair comment
I think one thing to also call out for self improvement:
Participation trophies and “you’re perfect the way you are” has ruined so many men. If you find yourself being more of a beta, ask yourself what needs to change. I personally will find myself following some leaders, but also finding my leadership in other groups. I try to check myself for if I’m falling into beta mode or if I’m recognizing leadership and learning from it. (Or sometimes I step aside to let someone that normally wouldn’t lead, lead for their own growth)
You can always be better.
As always, a lot to learn from you. We, who are listening and trying to learn to be better this information you give is priceless. Thanks for sharing. :)
Worrying about what the next person thinks about you or your actions should be a good indicator.
I recently entered into the firearm hobby scene. And the number of alpha males is pretty shocking. Looking deeper into it the reason makes sense: tremendous responsibility for their own actions, willing to save a life, and willing to take one.
The 2nd Amendment? A Hobby scene?
If you got to tell me you are in charge.......you're not.
I'm a young man going into ROTC, got a lot of things ahead of me that are going to require real leadership skills to succeed. I appreciate this video and advice as I move forward.
A good leader takes calculated risks and isn't reckless in their decisions. The weighing of pros and cons before a decision. Being reckless with your people and resources will lead to having neither in the end.
Just say it John.
Real Allphas brand themselves and sell their own merchandise.
I think a fake alpha can not cook a steak and cries watching dirty dancing.
Sounds like you’re projecting a little bit. Keep practicing, the steaks’ll get there👍
Is Dirty Dancing a sad movie?
I dont think Adam Conover ever claims to be an Alpha
@0:50 do you ever carry you horse treats in your hat? Cause that's what I did and big girl snatched my hat off looking for the biskits! 😂
Atrophy: gradual decline in effectiveness or vigor due to under use or neglect. Life Atrophy. Thanks Ben. Great analogy.
As soon as someone says they're an alpha..no they aren't...
Best descripton of destiny ever.
A real beta is more alpha than a fake alpha.
Hello,
The hard part of this is that today with social media, is most of the TikTok’s or snap chatters… that put themselves out there to get the likes and views put out the untrue self.
Most of those that “call “ themselves a leader or alpha… tend to crumble when it gets hard.
Your statement on humility is of the utmost trait…
I’ve worked my way up in business to the point of upper management with out higher educational … simply by listening, learning and assuming responsibility for the bad but pointing to my employees for when to good was presented and to be celebrated.
I remember one day when my mentor (active duty) challenged us to define and articulate leadership. That one word is a living word that contains so much. You have done an awesome job at validating that concept. 💥💥👍💯👊🏻
Adam strikes me as a Gamma, and your description matches with that. A Bravo should be a strong follower of the Alpha. The Gamma is complainer, weak, always thinks he's smarter even when he's not.