It’s incredibly taxing talking on the phone. Especially if it’s just small talk - it’s such an ordeal! I usually end up playing therapist for the other party, and then I end up having to spend the rest of the day avoiding social situations trying to recharge!
“Normally when I talk to people, they want to talk about themselves.” This is so accurate. Before you said this, I was thinking how many extroverts and phone callers have narcissistic traits. An introvert is just a sounding board for them.
Most extroverts are not narcissists, although a few are, so let's not start bashing extroverts here. Excessive phone-talkers often are, though. Especially self-centered are the ones who talk on speaker phone in public places and also the people who become upset when others don't pick up the phone when they ring.
I feel the same. I am not a phone person. No problem texting. I'm just super awkward and I run out of things to say in about 20 seconds into the call. Then I want to hang up and feel like I'm being held hostage on the phone. Much rather say hello but even in person I run out of things to say super extra quick.
I cant stand the phone but all of my friends love the phone. Ugh! Sometimes i find myself ignoring their calls because i dont feel like talking...now i can text all day. I just hate being held hostage on the phone making small talk or pretending to care about whatever theyre talking about. Lol sometimes when i text them, they will call me instead and then im irritated...smh
YES! I agree with you 100%! “Stop making people do what you want them to do!” I hate the phone, but I am OK with text messaging 🤷♀️🤦♀️ Thank you for sharing this video I thought I was the only one!
Just found this video because I’m feeling guilty for not calling my family more. I’m an introvert and have social anxiety. I do the best I can in person but the phone is definitely hard. I feel like it’s something that’s forced. I don’t mind checking on people but it’s like they be wanting me to say more and think it’s sad to have a 30 second phone call. Meanwhile, they aren’t saying much either 🙄 but for some reason it always feels like my fault. I’m sure they have better convos with other people so maybe it is 🤷🏾♀️. I just don’t like talking about a lot of different things other people talk about. My mindset has changed in the last few years and I like to talk about faith, conspiracy topics, movies I enjoy, interesting questions that make people think. I hate forcing convo. People who can easily converse should be grateful and not be so quick to think someone is a weirdo because they find it a bit more difficult.
I can relate with your comment and feel the same way. There are so many people in the world who are Introverts, empath, with any kind of mental health conditions. I understand we live in a world filled with extroverted, socialized people. We're just unique, special people and nothing wrong with it regardless what society think or say about it. I'm a Introvert, empath with social anxiety or anxiety by itself. I don't talk on the phone alot. If I do its just a few words here and there possibly interesting conversation. I am not big on communicating with people, especially mostly some relatives or friends. I feel comfortable to different kinds of interesting discussions or topics face to face with one on one conversations couple of friend or few relatives I'm close with and we can relate to similar things in our life. I prefer deep meaningful conversations without judging each other. I want to try working on communicate more with family, people but I feel like me not being confident or brave enough to gather the courage in me to talk more. I don't want people including family to change or make me become something they want me to be. Being myself is good enough and I'm fine with it. I refuse to change who I am for anybody especially family. Learning to let go of toxic, abusive, controlling, narcissits people, mostly relatives and walk away because its not worth my time and energy. I enjoy solitude my time spent alone is so refreshing. I can think clearly have a peace of mind, meditate, exercise, zone out be in my own world all by myself without no one judging or make me feel embarassed. I'm content and comfortable with my own space shut out the loud noise around me and be at peace, relaxed in a calm state.
Omg I thought I was weird for this! The phone really drains me and derails my whole thought process and I can’t take care of things because people try to talk too long. I avoid the phone and hate it. It takes a lot of mental conversation in my head for me to pick up the phone. And texting regularly can really annoy and stress me out because it’s as if ppl want to make it a daily thing and it doesn’t have to be! Every once in a while is enough.
Ugh I hate talking on the phone and no one ever respects that I just prefer texts or face to face but they will still insist I talk on the phone even after repeated attempts saying I do not like it . They have even gone so far as to then facebook message me to call them when they know I DO NOT TALK ON THE PHONE. Then get mad or drop me as a friend because of that sole fact.
Im glad I'm not alone in feeling this way.I hate talking on the phone,and actually get anxious if I have to call someone,or someone calls me.Because I'm an introvert,my life is pretty boring,and I don't have much to say.Im just not into idle chit chat,and can't be bothered,quite honestly.
I have a co worker that continues to call me even after telling her I would rather text than talk. And then get mad at me knowing that I probably wont answer. Its pretty crazy.
Just stumbled across this in the UK! Thank you. Very few understand this and assume it’s personal. Even when they are told about the reasons they still don’t get it. Just accept people and their needs/choices. We’re not you!
I typed in the search bar “ people who don’t like talking on the phone “ and you popped up and I’m just soooo happy I found someone who is just like me. I never pick up the phone and people don’t understand why it’s frustrating
Same here! I’ve hated the phone all my life. When I was a teenager, I’d ask my mom to tell me to do a chore so I could hang up on girl friends. My daughter in law would love me to call for chats, I love her, I do, but can’t talk on the stupid phone! It’s a good thing we don’t have to call God on the phone to get to heaven, I’d be in big trouble!
I struggle face to face ☹️ unless I have a glass of wine. I’ve notice I just don’t really like talking to people in general. I don’t care for small talk, and deep conversations are just too much all the time so I just don’t really talk much.
Wowwww thanks so much. This is so me and I get so aggravated when people try to change me. I’m a Mental Health Educator and doing my job is enough for me. I’m an Introvert and I’m not changing who I am for anyone ❤️
I relate to this video 100%. I've always been an introvert and I hated answering or talking on the phone. I thought for a long time that something big is wrong with me and I need to see a therapist. I have family and friends that I love and think about, but I have not called/seen them for years. Sometimes I tell myself that I am the worst friend or relative to have out of guilt. They don't understand my introversion and it is complicated explaining it. Whenever I answer or make a call, I will last seconds.
Love it! Yes. I co-sign 100%. I really dislike talking on the phone. I can relate. I find that I just don’t want to talk about what they do. Only a very select few I find easy and pleasant to have conversation with. By the way, u are beautiful sis
and the thing about being an introvert is being cautious of telling people you’re one cuz then they think something is wrong with you. Introversion isn’t lonely, depressed, wierdo, etc. Know the truth and you’ll be free 🙂
I have a friend, my best friend. We’ve been friends for 7 years now. And we live in different cities. Well, there isn’t any other way to talk to her so we either text or phone each other. I’m in the same situation, she talks for hours, Hours and HOURS. And she thinks “we” talk for that long. But I usually just listen, I don’t usually have anything special to say so it can be awkward... And after a while I get really bored, but I don’t want her to misunderstand me. If I’d tell her about this she probably would get me wrong. 🤯
I love being an introvert I like to keep it short and brief, having random convos are boring I like discussing real life stuff atop making accusations about us introverts we are PERFECTLY normal
I can relate to this. I don't have social anxiety. I get along well with others. It's just whenever someone wants to talk to me on the phone it turns into a free therapy session and droning on about life. And it turns into 1 hr+ of talking. I could be catching up on chores or errands in that time. The worst is when people call while you are already DOING something. I prefer texting or meeting in person. Sometimes there is nothing exciting going on in life and I have nothing to say on the fucking phone! Just send a text or ask to hangout.
You have no idea (well actually you obviously do!) how much what you say rings true for me! All this time I've thought that I was weird and clinically anti-social!! And you're right, it's mostly the phone! I haven't had my wringer on in years! Always on vibrate! My roommate on the other hand is a phoneaholic! He literally goes from one phone call to another for hours on end! I'm not even kidding! And most of it is gossip and drama making which I have absolutely no understanding of, nor patience with...!
Bravo. Bravo. Bravo for this. Im back in the dating arena and women are obsessed with bloody talking first before a real life meeting (Yes I do understand their concerns...) I've explained several times that I dont like phone calls and that a date arranged safely (public location etc etc) is far better
Preach! Preach! Preach! .....and you can be an effective witness for Christ Jesus as an introvert.....I literally give a piece of me away in every conversation I don’t have meaningless conversations, and I take pride in being a great listener Thank you for being transparent 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
“I don’t keep in touch by phone, like normal people do.” Normal according to who? A world ran by extroverts. It really bothers me that extroverts have basically defined what’s considered normal. People need to learn to respect others’ boundaries, even if they don’t understand them. Also, making appts for phone calls is not tacky. What’s tacky is when people try to make you feel weird because they don’t understand where you’re coming from.
I've never so tightly aligned with someone on YT. I LOVE talking about the paranormal, outer space, and politics. They talk about themselves, telling me a story about their kids for the tenth time, and then as soon as I say "hey, there's a rogue comet about to pass earth, and we will see meteorites in the sky, they stop listening, saying phrases like "I hear ya....". Ugh. Anyway thank you for this.
Oh my goodness. It never occurred to me to make an appointment to make a phone call. That's not tacky, that's genius! I'm going to do that whenever possible from now on!
The worst was when I was growing up. My mom would call me in the room and make me speak to distant aunts and cousins that barely spoke english. "Come here and say hi to your cousin in the dominican republic!" AWKWARD 😂
Trying to figure out how to announce this to all of my friends without hurting their feelings. I’m not an introvert but hate talking on the phone for all the reasons you mentioned.
I'm glad that I'm not alone in this. My aunt called two days ago, and just to call her back is so daunting. It's nothing personal, it's just that I dread phone calls. Even with my own sister who is an extrovert. If I talk to you yesterday, my mind feels like we don't have to talk again until three days later, she wants to talk daily. To just think of things to say is exhausting and I need to recharge, but she will call the very next day before I even have the opportunity to
Me randomly researching on TH-cam if anyone else hates talking on the phone as much as I do 😂 For one, your hair looks GREAT! I wish mine was as curly and bouncy. Two, scheduling phone calls isn’t tacky. I also prefer this just like I like events: PLANNED and not sprung on me. I find that most people don’t really have anything of substance to talk about. I hate small talk and fillers. Like someone else said on here, I’d rather be filling my time with something else. Once in awhile I like a good “we gotta catch up on things” phone convo, but those aren’t everyday convos. Maybe once a month…. Or once every two months 😂 Someone also mentioned that it’s selfish for us to think this way, but I think it’s more about personal boundaries. I can acknowledge someone without being a talker and being on the phone for hours. This is completely different from ignoring someone or acting as if they don’t exist. I think people just don’t like when others’ viewpoints are completely different from theirs.
I searched TH-cam hoping someone would feel just as me. I love texting , hell I even love to use the walkie talkie but I hate talking on the phone . I don’t mind it . But I don’t like it. Why would we stay on the phone for hours just to be silent. If you need to tell me something important then sure call me. But if its nothing serious, send a voice message or text me . How hard is it people
ooooh im finding more people who feel the same way, i never figured put why i hate talking on the phone, even has an introvert the phone should be a great "introvert tool" you don't have to interact with people directly but still i hate it so does my brother and most my cousins. our parents don't understand it and just get mad at us when we don't pick up the phone or call relatives, they will just blame it on this generation and technology.
I have certain people I can talk to and the conversation can flow so well but I always start off not wanting to be on the phone. I literally have to muster up the energy to call. Majority of the time they don’t pick up or will say I will call you back and I’m like “but I’m ready now “. Then I start the cycle of mustering up the energy to talk to them on their time. Then sometimes the conversation is going towards their way or I forgot what I was about to say because I was cut off and I don’t do the talking at the same time thing so most of the time I’m submissive. So basically it’s your conversation and then when I get off the phone I don’t feel accomplished or you dump something on me to stress. I’m fine when I text and it’s the part when you don’t know how to end the conversation without being rude so I talk about random stuff until they say they have to get off the phone and then I’m offended 🙄
STANDING OVATION!! I FEEL YOUR PAIN!! I have to call clients for my main business and my side business is acting. More on acting in a second. So, I can be on stage in front of hundreds of people or on set in front of a camera playing a role, or even in front of a camera being a camera-ready version of myself, like you do in this vid (I assume) but dialing a stranger to get specifications for an install of a whole house water filtration system... or to followup later... it's something that makes me anxious, uncomfortable, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I hang up. I envy extroverts when it comes to business interactions. Maybe God can help me to not envy them. I'm supposed to call clients right now and instead I typed into TH-cam "I hate getting on the phone and it's my job" and your wonderful and articulate video popped up. So a friend told me to use my acting skills to call clients. So I did. And it worked. Kind've. Something happens in my brain when I tell myself: "on your mark, get set, annnnd..action!" Then I dial the number, then they pick up, and its showtime: "Hi. This is David Harvey with blah blah" accept I don't say blah blah. Anyway. Thanks for the vid. I didn't realize hating talking on the phone is an introvert trait, but I think you're right. I don't even like to talk to family on the phone but I force myself too. Would much rather talk to people face to face. Blessings to you and your husband!
You have my sympathy. Ive been there and done that. I describe it as verbal shelf filling where you are just saying the same thing hundreds of times a day 5 days a week. I did it for about 3 months - I never ever want to do it again in my life. I dont mind a job with maybe 1 or 2 calls a day...but hundreds is far too much for my sanity
I can handle short conversations on the phone but my girlfriend want to speak for hours and if l try and hang up coz I have said what I wanted she always makes me feel like I don't want to be her.
Im a social worker and I'm on the phone all day. In my personal life and dating I struggle to be on "requirement" of long phone convos. I'm fine in person can talk all day but the phone is brutal sometimes, I don't even listen to the radio after a long day of work on the way home lol.
I thought it was something wrong with me. The crazy part is I was the total opposite when I was in my 20's and my early 30's.... around 36 I became this way. I hate when my phone rings and when I check to see who's calling I feel like i've won the lottery when its "Skam Likely" and I don't have to answer it. Oh but when its someone who knows my work schedule and knows im just at home chillin on my off day and they call and I ignore it they will text me cussing me out. I hate when I text someone and they call me back instead of texting back 😡😡
I JUST found this today. I have 3 calls to make to family and feeling the anxiety I just quickly Googled "Why do I hate making phone calls?" Thank you for speaking this out, so much if it puts words to what I feel. Thank you.
You bring up a salient point that is not often brought up in these discussions. At 1:23 when you start saying that THEY DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT! And this is important. Visibility and Agency is very underrated. What introverts have to say is important too! Not everything has to lean towards extrovert topics in this world(ie: small talk, gossip etc) Of course, topics are not mutually exclusive but generally speaking i find most people want to talk about banal nonsense just to fill dead air. So, while people point out that they find introvert conversation boring, I think it is important to point out that introverts find extroverted topics boring as well.
Thank you SO much for making this video! I'm an extrovert and this guy I'm dating is an introvert and doesn't like talking on the phone. Everything about him is amazing but I would get hurt when he would not want to talk on the phone with me. This video helps me understand his side more and to not take it personally! Thank you 😊
Hi Barbra! Yep, I go into interview mode as well. I'm guessing that introverts are just not made for phone calls or Zoom. It is something mysterious and anxiety-inducing for us, but I realize that face to face is incredibly relaxing for me or small group settings. Secondly, we tend to live in our heads more and have unique interests. For example, I prefer to speak on topics like Futurism, anime, politics/racism. Not many people who call me, want to speak on those topics so I go into "Uh-huh" mode usually and get quiet. Great video!
I never answer the phone. If it rings I watch it till it stops. If it’s a number I recognise I wait till I’m in their presence before having that conversation. If I don’t recognise the number I’ll wait and see if they leave a voicemail. If it’s important I’ll deal with it otherwise I ignore it. I have a friend who whenever I see them tells other people “This little s*it never answers the phone.”
I wish i knew how to articulate this a decade ago because my 'I hate talking on the phone' was translated by my family as 'D is bad with phones' and I thought they were right. They didn't bother to understand me 😔 because I love quality time and phone calls are the opposite of that.
Introverts do not like unplanned conversations, unplanned ANYthing. And then we babble. Telephone calls are so stressful.
I am an ambivert and when it comes to phone calls, my introvert side is STRONG!!! I really hate just holding the phone and not talking.
It’s incredibly taxing talking on the phone. Especially if it’s just small talk - it’s such an ordeal! I usually end up playing therapist for the other party, and then I end up having to spend the rest of the day avoiding social situations trying to recharge!
Gianni Claud Omg, this is so me! Idle chit chat is such a big damn waste of my time!
this is.... LITERALLY the most relatable thing I've seen in so long. oh my gosh
So true, introverts gets drained from useless chit-chat.
Same here!
Literally me I can’t stand it
“Normally when I talk to people, they want to talk about themselves.”
This is so accurate. Before you said this, I was thinking how many extroverts and phone callers have narcissistic traits. An introvert is just a sounding board for them.
Kar-9-0-5 YES! I never considered that many extroverts are narcissistic. But yes! I can see that. We are just sounding boards.
Literally I felt this in my heart
Most extroverts are not narcissists, although a few are, so let's not start bashing extroverts here.
Excessive phone-talkers often are, though.
Especially self-centered are the ones who talk on speaker phone in public places and also the people who become upset when others don't pick up the phone when they ring.
Finallyyy someone gets it!! I'm not aloneeee😥😥😥😥😥😥
No your not....
This resonates with me more than you can imagine. Literally every part of it
Roger Lewis So glad to know I’m not alone. ☺️ Wish the world understood us.
I feel the same. I am not a phone person. No problem texting. I'm just super awkward and I run out of things to say in about 20 seconds into the call. Then I want to hang up and feel like I'm being held hostage on the phone. Much rather say hello but even in person I run out of things to say super extra quick.
I cant stand the phone but all of my friends love the phone. Ugh! Sometimes i find myself ignoring their calls because i dont feel like talking...now i can text all day. I just hate being held hostage on the phone making small talk or pretending to care about whatever theyre talking about. Lol sometimes when i text them, they will call me instead and then im irritated...smh
88948895611499 Yes! I hate when they do that. Just respond in the same manner in which I originally contacted you!!. Lolol
@@barbrasanders5108 exactly lol
Yessssss!!!!!
Girl yes! I'm like we were just texting, why are you calling me??!
Thankfully, no one in my circle does this, but if somebody does ring, I text them, _Sorry, I can't talk on the phone now._
YES! I agree with you 100%! “Stop making people do what you want them to do!” I hate the phone, but I am OK with text messaging 🤷♀️🤦♀️ Thank you for sharing this video I thought I was the only one!
Introverts stand up!!!! I love this video!!!
Just found this video because I’m feeling guilty for not calling my family more. I’m an introvert and have social anxiety. I do the best I can in person but the phone is definitely hard. I feel like it’s something that’s forced. I don’t mind checking on people but it’s like they be wanting me to say more and think it’s sad to have a 30 second phone call. Meanwhile, they aren’t saying much either 🙄 but for some reason it always feels like my fault. I’m sure they have better convos with other people so maybe it is 🤷🏾♀️. I just don’t like talking about a lot of different things other people talk about. My mindset has changed in the last few years and I like to talk about faith, conspiracy topics, movies I enjoy, interesting questions that make people think. I hate forcing convo. People who can easily converse should be grateful and not be so quick to think someone is a weirdo because they find it a bit more difficult.
I can relate with your comment and feel the same way. There are so many people in the world who are Introverts, empath, with any kind of mental health conditions. I understand we live in a world filled with extroverted, socialized people. We're just unique, special people and nothing wrong with it regardless what society think or say about it. I'm a Introvert, empath with social anxiety or anxiety by itself. I don't talk on the phone alot. If I do its just a few words here and there possibly interesting conversation. I am not big on communicating with people, especially mostly some relatives or friends. I feel comfortable to different kinds of interesting discussions or topics face to face with one on one conversations couple of friend or few relatives I'm close with and we can relate to similar things in our life. I prefer deep meaningful conversations without judging each other. I want to try working on communicate more with family, people but I feel like me not being confident or brave enough to gather the courage in me to talk more. I don't want people including family to change or make me become something they want me to be. Being myself is good enough and I'm fine with it. I refuse to change who I am for anybody especially family. Learning to let go of toxic, abusive, controlling, narcissits people, mostly relatives and walk away because its not worth my time and energy. I enjoy solitude my time spent alone is so refreshing. I can think clearly have a peace of mind, meditate, exercise, zone out be in my own world all by myself without no one judging or make me feel embarassed. I'm content and comfortable with my own space shut out the loud noise around me and be at peace, relaxed in a calm state.
Omg I thought I was weird for this! The phone really drains me and derails my whole thought process and I can’t take care of things because people try to talk too long. I avoid the phone and hate it. It takes a lot of mental conversation in my head for me to pick up the phone. And texting regularly can really annoy and stress me out because it’s as if ppl want to make it a daily thing and it doesn’t have to be! Every once in a while is enough.
Ugh I hate talking on the phone and no one ever respects that I just prefer texts or face to face but they will still insist I talk on the phone even after repeated attempts saying I do not like it . They have even gone so far as to then facebook message me to call them when they know I DO NOT TALK ON THE PHONE. Then get mad or drop me as a friend because of that sole fact.
I found my people, I feel safe now.
Metoo
Im glad I'm not alone in feeling this way.I hate talking on the phone,and actually get anxious if I have to call someone,or someone calls me.Because I'm an introvert,my life is pretty boring,and I don't have much to say.Im just not into idle chit chat,and can't be bothered,quite honestly.
Same here.
Literally me! It makes me want to cry sometimes. Cause I be too scared to talk to guys that I like over the phone.
Point blank period...
I hate having to listen to drama and complaining too
I have a co worker that continues to call me even after telling her I would rather text than talk. And then get mad at me knowing that I probably wont answer. Its pretty crazy.
I’m the same way I can’t stand talking on the phone. I just watch it ring lol
I don't even turn it on, I keep it on silent because that ringing makes me anxious.
Just stumbled across this in the UK! Thank you. Very few understand this and assume it’s personal. Even when they are told about the reasons they still don’t get it. Just accept people and their needs/choices. We’re not you!
U are so me!!! Me too!! Introvert is my personality...introvert can be genetic and my mom an introvert
please preach to the extroverts!
Thank you, I literally watch my phone ring then text hey what's up
I typed in the search bar “ people who don’t like talking on the phone “ and you popped up and I’m just soooo happy I found someone who is just like me. I never pick up the phone and people don’t understand why it’s frustrating
Same same
My son, also introvertier than i am, will stare at his ringing phone and ask, "Who's calling me on my texting device?!"
😂😂😂
You are gorgeous, and I agree with you 100% people think I'm weird cause I don't wanna be damn bothered.
😂😂😂😂”damn bothered” lol I died laughing sooooooo true I swear
Yes!! I am an introvert and feel the same way about the telephone.
This is exactly my attitude.I am a super introvert&I love that wholeheartedly!
Same here! I’ve hated the phone all my life. When I was a teenager, I’d ask my mom to tell me to do a chore so I could hang up on girl friends. My daughter in law would love me to call for chats, I love her, I do, but can’t talk on the stupid phone! It’s a good thing we don’t have to call God on the phone to get to heaven, I’d be in big trouble!
What annoys me the most is that my family thinks i am over reacting ..
overwhat now? lol
@@amosamwig8394 what do you mean ? ( English is not my native language btw)
i feel you omg.
As I know that word exists...
This the one 🤦🏾♀️
Soooooooo glad I’m not the only one!!!😄😆
Right now someone called me 4 times and I don't wanna pickup the call 😓😔
I struggle face to face ☹️ unless I have a glass of wine. I’ve notice I just don’t really like talking to people in general. I don’t care for small talk, and deep conversations are just too much all the time so I just don’t really talk much.
Wowwww thanks so much. This is so me and I get so aggravated when people try to change me. I’m a Mental Health Educator and doing my job is enough for me. I’m an Introvert and I’m not changing who I am for anyone ❤️
OMG!! Finally someone who gets this!!! I thought I was the only one!!!
Yes my friends and family and my boyfriend are always mad because of this I hate the phone I’m an in person type of person
I relate to this video 100%. I've always been an introvert and I hated answering or talking on the phone. I thought for a long time that something big is wrong with me and I need to see a therapist. I have family and friends that I love and think about, but I have not called/seen them for years. Sometimes I tell myself that I am the worst friend or relative to have out of guilt. They don't understand my introversion and it is complicated explaining it. Whenever I answer or make a call, I will last seconds.
Love it! Yes. I co-sign 100%. I really dislike talking on the phone. I can relate. I find that I just don’t want to talk about what they do. Only a very select few I find easy and pleasant to have conversation with. By the way, u are beautiful sis
MomDiva , Thank you so much for the compliment. So glad to hear that I’m not alone. Blessings.....😊
It’s like I am talking to myself watching this, wow!
I’m an introvert and I do everything I can to avoid making a phone call
Appointments for phone calls?? Yes!!!! My friends and I call those “phone dates”.
and the thing about being an introvert is being cautious of telling people you’re one cuz then they think something is wrong with you. Introversion isn’t lonely, depressed, wierdo, etc. Know the truth and you’ll be free 🙂
This is how I feel talking to my family on the phone since I moved away lol i see you twin
Thank you so much for this. Theres not nearly enough people in the world that understand.
I have a friend, my best friend. We’ve been friends for 7 years now. And we live in different cities. Well, there isn’t any other way to talk to her so we either text or phone each other. I’m in the same situation, she talks for hours, Hours and HOURS. And she thinks “we” talk for that long. But I usually just listen, I don’t usually have anything special to say so it can be awkward... And after a while I get really bored, but I don’t want her to misunderstand me. If I’d tell her about this she probably would get me wrong. 🤯
I can relate 💯💯💯
I love being an introvert I like to keep it short and brief, having random convos are boring I like discussing real life stuff atop making accusations about us introverts we are PERFECTLY normal
I can relate to this. I don't have social anxiety. I get along well with others. It's just whenever someone wants to talk to me on the phone it turns into a free therapy session and droning on about life. And it turns into 1 hr+ of talking. I could be catching up on chores or errands in that time. The worst is when people call while you are already DOING something. I prefer texting or meeting in person. Sometimes there is nothing exciting going on in life and I have nothing to say on the fucking phone! Just send a text or ask to hangout.
I’m 94% introverted and am constantly given the guilt trip for not calling a friend that is an extrovert. It drives me crazy!
You have no idea (well actually you obviously do!) how much what you say rings true for me! All this time I've thought that I was weird and clinically anti-social!! And you're right, it's mostly the phone! I haven't had my wringer on in years! Always on vibrate! My roommate on the other hand is a phoneaholic! He literally goes from one phone call to another for hours on end! I'm not even kidding! And most of it is gossip and drama making which I have absolutely no understanding of, nor patience with...!
Feels good to know that im not alone on this issue.
Bravo. Bravo. Bravo for this. Im back in the dating arena and women are obsessed with bloody talking first before a real life meeting (Yes I do understand their concerns...) I've explained several times that I dont like phone calls and that a date arranged safely (public location etc etc) is far better
Preach! Preach! Preach! .....and you can be an effective witness for Christ Jesus as an introvert.....I literally give a piece of me away in every conversation I don’t have meaningless conversations, and I take pride in being a great listener Thank you for being transparent 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I’m glad I’m not alone in this,right on.🌈
I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I hate talking on the phone calling someone or receiving phone calls.
“I don’t keep in touch by phone, like normal people do.” Normal according to who? A world ran by extroverts. It really bothers me that extroverts have basically defined what’s considered normal. People need to learn to respect others’ boundaries, even if they don’t understand them. Also, making appts for phone calls is not tacky. What’s tacky is when people try to make you feel weird because they don’t understand where you’re coming from.
it should be "normal" people
I've never so tightly aligned with someone on YT. I LOVE talking about the paranormal, outer space, and politics. They talk about themselves, telling me a story about their kids for the tenth time, and then as soon as I say "hey, there's a rogue comet about to pass earth, and we will see meteorites in the sky, they stop listening, saying phrases like "I hear ya....". Ugh. Anyway thank you for this.
Oh my goodness. It never occurred to me to make an appointment to make a phone call. That's not tacky, that's genius! I'm going to do that whenever possible from now on!
Hahahahaha!! So glad someone sees the value in that. Lol
The worst was when I was growing up. My mom would call me in the room and make me speak to distant aunts and cousins that barely spoke english. "Come here and say hi to your cousin in the dominican republic!" AWKWARD 😂
Same 😂😂😂
My boss rings me every single day dead on 0800
I start work at 0800 and just getting out the car with no coffee 😂
I thought I was the only one who had a hard time talking on the phone. This was very helpful for me
'THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT STUFF.' That's right. They just want to gossip about themselves or others, mostly others.
Trying to figure out how to announce this to all of my friends without hurting their feelings. I’m not an introvert but hate talking on the phone for all the reasons you mentioned.
Also scheduling a phone call isn’t tacky especially with working friends! Actually it’s practical.
I'm glad that I'm not alone in this. My aunt called two days ago, and just to call her back is so daunting. It's nothing personal, it's just that I dread phone calls. Even with my own sister who is an extrovert. If I talk to you yesterday, my mind feels like we don't have to talk again until three days later, she wants to talk daily. To just think of things to say is exhausting and I need to recharge, but she will call the very next day before I even have the opportunity to
Me randomly researching on TH-cam if anyone else hates talking on the phone as much as I do 😂
For one, your hair looks GREAT! I wish mine was as curly and bouncy. Two, scheduling phone calls isn’t tacky. I also prefer this just like I like events: PLANNED and not sprung on me.
I find that most people don’t really have anything of substance to talk about. I hate small talk and fillers. Like someone else said on here, I’d rather be filling my time with something else. Once in awhile I like a good “we gotta catch up on things” phone convo, but those aren’t everyday convos. Maybe once a month…. Or once every two months 😂
Someone also mentioned that it’s selfish for us to think this way, but I think it’s more about personal boundaries. I can acknowledge someone without being a talker and being on the phone for hours. This is completely different from ignoring someone or acting as if they don’t exist. I think people just don’t like when others’ viewpoints are completely different from theirs.
You look great and this was comforting to listen to. Finally someone that can relate to me.
Me too phone calls are so irritating for me.... I really don't know what to talk to them.... Phew that's a task in all...
I completely get this! There are so many friends that take this personally. Thank you I don’t feel alone!
This is explained so beautifully! I hate talking on the phone too so I understand this completely! Wish more people did!
This woman is FINE! Lookin like a young Anita Baker
I wish my peers understood this about me 🤣
All the introverts be like "yup"
Thank you for putting words on my problems😘
Thank You, Thank You! I am so happy you made this video. I felt so bad for feeling dreadful when getting a call even when it's my husband.
I searched TH-cam hoping someone would feel just as me. I love texting , hell I even love to use the walkie talkie but I hate talking on the phone . I don’t mind it . But I don’t like it. Why would we stay on the phone for hours just to be silent. If you need to tell me something important then sure call me. But if its nothing serious, send a voice message or text me . How hard is it people
I thought I was a weirdo! Now I can share this!!!! This HAS to be true because every point you brought up relates to me as well
Totally the same feelings I don’t talk to anyone on the phone , I feel like like I’m going to have a heart attack when I have to
Just like me though people say I'm always angry buh it's just in my blood to be silent and alone, it just make me feel comfortable with the way iam
This is me too. I feel like to get it off my chest big time. I hate the phone and I want to cancel my phone line every single day 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🙏🏿
I feel that way too 🗣🗣
You’re speaking my language!! Finally someone that understands!
ooooh im finding more people who feel the same way, i never figured put why i hate talking on the phone, even has an introvert the phone should be a great "introvert tool" you don't have to interact with people directly but still i hate it so does my brother and most my cousins. our parents don't understand it and just get mad at us when we don't pick up the phone or call relatives, they will just blame it on this generation and technology.
I have certain people I can talk to and the conversation can flow so well but I always start off not wanting to be on the phone. I literally have to muster up the energy to call. Majority of the time they don’t pick up or will say I will call you back and I’m like “but I’m ready now “. Then I start the cycle of mustering up the energy to talk to them on their time. Then sometimes the conversation is going towards their way or I forgot what I was about to say because I was cut off and I don’t do the talking at the same time thing so most of the time I’m submissive. So basically it’s your conversation and then when I get off the phone I don’t feel accomplished or you dump something on me to stress. I’m fine when I text and it’s the part when you don’t know how to end the conversation without being rude so I talk about random stuff until they say they have to get off the phone and then I’m offended 🙄
STANDING OVATION!! I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!
I have to call clients for my main business and my side business is acting. More on acting in a second. So, I can be on stage in front of hundreds of people or on set in front of a camera playing a role, or even in front of a camera being a camera-ready version of myself, like you do in this vid (I assume) but dialing a stranger to get specifications for an install of a whole house water filtration system... or to followup later... it's something that makes me anxious, uncomfortable, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I hang up. I envy extroverts when it comes to business interactions. Maybe God can help me to not envy them.
I'm supposed to call clients right now and instead I typed into TH-cam "I hate getting on the phone and it's my job" and your wonderful and articulate video popped up.
So a friend told me to use my acting skills to call clients. So I did. And it worked. Kind've. Something happens in my brain when I tell myself: "on your mark, get set, annnnd..action!" Then I dial the number, then they pick up, and its showtime: "Hi. This is David Harvey with blah blah" accept I don't say blah blah.
Anyway. Thanks for the vid. I didn't realize hating talking on the phone is an introvert trait, but I think you're right. I don't even like to talk to family on the phone but I force myself too. Would much rather talk to people face to face. Blessings to you and your husband!
I am the same way, I work at a call center. I die a little more in side, each day :(
Mo Nique Oh no!! I’ll say a lil prayer for you, sis.
@@barbrasanders5108 Thanks so much, it's really appreciated! Glad someone understands!
You have my sympathy. Ive been there and done that. I describe it as verbal shelf filling where you are just saying the same thing hundreds of times a day 5 days a week. I did it for about 3 months - I never ever want to do it again in my life. I dont mind a job with maybe 1 or 2 calls a day...but hundreds is far too much for my sanity
I can handle short conversations on the phone but my girlfriend want to speak for hours and if l try and hang up coz I have said what I wanted she always makes me feel like I don't want to be her.
I hear ya. It’s such a struggle being us. ☹️
Im dealing with this and it's worse for me since it's long distance so we have no other way to communicate.
I am so so so happy as someone finally explained it so well thank you! Friends with family will never get it LOL
Introvert are awesome
I love when ppl share the same thoughts and values as me. I support you 100% on that
Thank you 🙏 I might probably be your double because everything you said just resonates. Much love 💕
Im a social worker and I'm on the phone all day. In my personal life and dating I struggle to be on "requirement" of long phone convos. I'm fine in person can talk all day but the phone is brutal sometimes, I don't even listen to the radio after a long day of work on the way home lol.
Thank you so much for making this video. I shared it with all my friends so that they could understand.
WOW, This is me,all the way, people take it personally but only the ones who truly know me understand
When the phone rings, set the kitchen timer for how long you like, when it goes off, it is easy to end the babble.
Oh I have to go now.......bye.
I thought it was something wrong with me. The crazy part is I was the total opposite when I was in my 20's and my early 30's.... around 36 I became this way. I hate when my phone rings and when I check to see who's calling I feel like i've won the lottery when its "Skam Likely" and I don't have to answer it. Oh but when its someone who knows my work schedule and knows im just at home chillin on my off day and they call and I ignore it they will text me cussing me out. I hate when I text someone and they call me back instead of texting back 😡😡
This was great! I'm feeling under the weather, and listening to this made my day.
Many thanks🤗✌
I feel this from the depths of my soul
I JUST found this today. I have 3 calls to make to family and feeling the anxiety I just quickly Googled "Why do I hate making phone calls?" Thank you for speaking this out, so much if it puts words to what I feel. Thank you.
You bring up a salient point that is not often brought up in these discussions. At 1:23 when you start saying that THEY DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT! And this is important. Visibility and Agency is very underrated. What introverts have to say is important too! Not everything has to lean towards extrovert topics in this world(ie: small talk, gossip etc)
Of course, topics are not mutually exclusive but generally speaking i find most people want to talk about banal nonsense just to fill dead air. So, while people point out that they find introvert conversation boring, I think it is important to point out that introverts find extroverted topics boring as well.
Thank you SO much for making this video! I'm an extrovert and this guy I'm dating is an introvert and doesn't like talking on the phone. Everything about him is amazing but I would get hurt when he would not want to talk on the phone with me. This video helps me understand his side more and to not take it personally! Thank you 😊
Hi Barbra! Yep, I go into interview mode as well. I'm guessing that introverts are just not made for phone calls or Zoom. It is something mysterious and anxiety-inducing for us, but I realize that face to face is incredibly relaxing for me or small group settings. Secondly, we tend to live in our heads more and have unique interests. For example, I prefer to speak on topics like Futurism, anime, politics/racism. Not many people who call me, want to speak on those topics so I go into "Uh-huh" mode usually and get quiet. Great video!
I never answer the phone. If it rings I watch it till it stops. If it’s a number I recognise I wait till I’m in their presence before having that conversation. If I don’t recognise the number I’ll wait and see if they leave a voicemail. If it’s important I’ll deal with it otherwise I ignore it. I have a friend who whenever I see them tells other people “This little s*it never answers the phone.”
I don't answer the phone when I get sick of it, that works eventually.
I wish i knew how to articulate this a decade ago because my 'I hate talking on the phone' was translated by my family as 'D is bad with phones' and I thought they were right. They didn't bother to understand me 😔 because I love quality time and phone calls are the opposite of that.