Sobriety (And why it's never perfect)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
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(This is NOT my response video)
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Materials Used
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Sennlelier Watercolors
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Bee Paper Watercolor Paper
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As a child of someone who was addicted. i am so appreciative of how open you are. It is SO IMPORTANT, to break down the misconceptions and stigmas of addiction. You are doing a fantastic job, you deserve all the praise for your bravery.
th-cam.com/video/tvRRvxl0UZE/w-d-xo.html
Fax
Yes same. My dad was also an addict and I'm so glad she talked about this
Agreed as someone who was in the same situation as yours!! I have so much respect for Emily, she’s an inspiration in both her art and her bravery and I’m so glad she’s open about what she’s been through, a lot of people really don’t understand addicts or addiction
My birth father was an addict. He’s better now, but that doesn’t take away from all the hurt he caused for me and the rest of my family. It’s so, so important to talk about addiction because those who abuse substances, and those, such as myself, who at the time of the abuse had literally no one who they could turn to except the addict don’t want anyone else to go through the situations that we went through.
Emily is so brave to share this personal stuff about her life, and she deserves all the respect in the world for it
My father passed away due to his addictions so likewise I'm so happy she's talking abou it
Commenters:
Please do not press Emily about her response video. Do not comment it about it here. This video is not about that. Please respect Emily, her family, feelings and mental health.
Take care ❤
I think this stands alone as a great response to the awful judgement and stigma of * that other video *
@@rambunctiousraptor tru
This is a response video.
@@chevgage6210 it's not, emily said on twitter she'd been planning this video even before Shannon's video
she's releasing a response video sometime after this one!
@@Gxylord I'd consider this is almost like a dipping your toe into her response. It's the best way to address how Creeps attacked sobriety.
As someone who struggled (and still struggles occasionally, but not nearly as bad) with eating disorders and self-destructive behaviors, a lot of your message really resonated. Thank you for putting this out there.
I was about to comment this myself.
Same here
Same here as well. Im currently struggling 🥺
Same. I actually decided no more drinking again today. Let's see how long that lasts.
@@skullykittie9889 you can do it!!! even if you do end up relapsing, recovery isn't a straight line, and u can and will get there eventually!!!
I hope this isn’t too candid, but I still struggle. I’m working on 2 months, but it’s a rocky road and I feel like I’m walking barefoot. Needed to hear this today.
One day at a time 🖤 and congrats on two months!!!
Congratulations on 2 months!! wow! That is a LONG time to be sober. You've made it this far, you've got this, just one more day. Then its just one day at a time. Sending so much love and support your way. Keep up the great work!
I think 2 months is pretty impressive. One step at a time, but this is a big one, you should be proud
Congrats on your two months ♥️
That's amazing that you're sober *today*. That, that right there, is a miracle to be celebrated.
Early sobriety is when the anesthesia wears off. Still got a lot of pain, and with all the overwhelm of that and looking at the rebuilding ahead, yeah, it feels you just got dropped off on a rocky road without your shoes.
I don't know if this will help, but someone shared something like this with me early on, and it helped me conceptualize it.
Today, you find a pair of shoes. They'll be janky, but hey, you aren't walking on barefoot now. Tomorrow you lace them up. The next day, you put them on. The next day, you tie them up. The next day, you put one foot forward. Annnnd you fall down. The next day, you bandage up your foot. The next day, you stand back up. The next day, you try the other foot. The next day, you take a break because that was hard. The next day, you survey the damage of your house. The next day you take a break because phew, that's overwhelming. The next day, you pick up a brick. The next day, you place it into the foundation. The next day you trip. The next day you see that where you fell, there's a slightly better pair of shoes. The next day you lace them up *and* put them on. The next day you tie them up *and* walk forward without falling down. The next day you find *and* place another brick.
The next day, the next day, the next day...
It's a journey filled with lots of triumphs and lots of missteps but eventually, you end up with a starter home. And you keep going. You find some steel-toe uber-comfortable boots. You get help from experts for the wiring and plumbing - things you don't know how to do. You get some help cleaning up the yard. You decorate. You decide to remodel a room or two. You may need to rewire.
But it's a place you love living in. And it all starts with finding a pair of shoes.
As a daughter of parents who are alcoholics, it's not easy to watch loved ones struggle with addiction. My dad is starting to cut down on his drinking he only drinks every other day. I thinking of maybe showing this video to him when he's sober so he find ideas of setting ground rules for himself to start the path of becoming sober.
th-cam.com/video/tvRRvxl0UZE/w-d-xo.html
Fax.
It might be a good idea. Hope you all will be ok💜
@@hi-rw4nl Thank you
@@recitationtohear ?
Idk if you know, but there’s Al-anon, which is for family members of addicts.
If you’re in the US, there’s groups in most cities if you Google it.
Its CRAZY that you brought up pulp fiction, that scene was my worst trigger I've ever had and caused my relapse the first time I got sober. And I got a shiver run up my entire spine and back down again too. I guess its not that crazy but its cool that I'm not the only one that has to skip past that.
Sobriety is a DAILY struggle. I have 4 years, 3 months, and 13 days sober and I’m proud of that but I will always be an addict. We are proud of you, Emily, and support you!
Proud of Emily but also proud of you Lala! You've done wonderfully and you should be proud of yourself too!
Well done, Lala. 🌸
Congrats on 4.33~ years!!! 🪴💜
Proud of you 👏
*FYI to viewers - Emily has said on Twitter that this is not her csa response video, but one is in the works right now*
Bout to say 😂 I was afraid she was gonna attacked for posting a sponsored video by Shannon
to be honest, this is everything she needed to say in response to CSA
She also mentions it in the description of this video
@@mayrahemmerechts5867 just read it I was commenting from the start when I saw the sponsor
A little late here but what did creepshow do now that she needs to respond too? She already responded to the last video and i don't actively use twitter so I'm a bit lost
What you said starting at 7:00 is good advice, even if the person you’re setting the boundary with isn’t an addict.
I was gonna say, I have a childhood friend who has recently been diagnosed with BPD. In her worst moments she hits out and its extremely hurtful and she was expecting me to be on the end of the phone at all hours to listen to the hurtful things she had to say. Her mind was becoming more detached from reality as she truly sunk into the way her BPD was making her think and feel. In the end I had to set boundaries (at the request of my boyfriend who was finding it too difficult to see my pain anymore, these things don't just affect the closest people, it spiderwebs out) for my own well being because it was just too much. I was suffering with severe long-covid at the time and my own pain was being pushed aside as a result. I'm not sure she's doing much better and at first it got worse before it got better as she pushed the boundaries I set but she has started to treat me with more respect which makes it easier to support her.
@@OddSocksQueen I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad that she seems to be getting better!
I’ll be praying for y’all.
This video talked about a really heavy topic in such a honest and straight to the point way while keeping compassion for both addicts and their support network. And I liked that you were painting plants, as symbols of growth and the rewards u can get from discipline and caring for something. Great stuff Emily! Watching u paint is always soothing.
And the plants were all at different stages of growth, all from different pots! Just like all of us! We are all in different stages of learning or recovery and we all come from different places!
@@emilyartful exactly!! So many lessons to learn from plants..
My mother is an alcoholic and AA made her a horrible, abusive mom. She replaced alcohol with controlling and hurting us. She wasn't sober-sober. Sobriety is complicated and hard and so many people don't realize that you can't just replace one bad habit with another.
I'm sorry you experienced that and I hope you're in a better place now ♥
Hi Emily, I’m 8 days sober, I come from a family of addicts and thought “well I’m better than that”. I was not better than that, my toxin was something I didn’t think you could be addicted to. Anyway a lot issues going on right now. I’m 20 years old, and you give me hope that I can do this. I haven’t been through nearly the same things you have (trama is trama no matter what). I’m grateful to have grown up around addicts in a sense, it helps you figure it out. I hope you’re doing well since the creeper situation. Thank you 🙏
Hope I’m wishing you a happy 14 days sober 💜 (if not, that’s ok too, I’ll say happy 8 days too 💜)
My late husband was sober for 19yrs, 11months, 2days before his death.
I was at his side from the beginning of his sobriety. Your words are very true and it was an everyday or some days more then others for him to stay sober.
Bless you.
Nobody (and nothing) is perfect, but the steps that we take to be good people count for a hell of a lot.
th-cam.com/video/tvRRvxl0UZE/w-d-xo.html
Fax.
I'm crying cause I'm struggling with sobriety at the moment. I relapsed in September after 22 months sober and since than its been a stop and start kind of thing. This video makes me think I should talk to someone instead of trying alone. I have CPTSD and never really fully dealt with it with professionals. /also newly enough diagnosed with autism and that kind of threw me for a loop too. Man, thanks Emily. I'm going to look into counselling. I cant change the lake, and I cant really get better when the reasons I drink still exist when I stop drinking. xx
Just know this internet stranger is rooting for you! Your self awareness is very inspiring, and what you’re saying is so true, if the roots of the tree don’t get water then the tree can’t grow, so you have to find the root of the problem and do what you can to mend it. Be kind to yourself, and I think having a network around you will help. We’re stronger together! Good luck on your journey x
💜 wishing you strength & love on your journey; plz take care of yourself ☺️
I hope you're doing well today 😊 if you've done it before, you can absolutely do it again! You got this
7 years sober myself, had lots of ups and downs but life sure is better.
I occasionally have an edible if I get to those moments when I need something (because everyone need’s something..) but I haven’t touched a drink or hard drugs in 7 years and I’ll be damned if that isn’t an accomplishment.
AA and NA personally don’t work for me but that’s cool if it works for someone else, I personally found therapy and personal growth to be much more effective.
Cannabis is medicine. 💕 It keeps me off the goddamn oxys and hydros. 🌸 I’ve got a degenerative autoimmune disease, and it eases my pain without toxifying my body with boiling garbage.
@@EarthenCavy Same. I’ve never done any drugs bedsides cannabis but it’s a lifesaver for my chronic pain. I grew up with addicts tho and perfectly understand why some people might need to stay away from it though.
I’m incredibly proud for anyone who chooses to better themselves by being sober. It takes courage to take accountability and willingness to better yourself. For those who are counting the days, weeks, months, or years of your sobriety may you find inner peace, happiness, and prosperity 💕🙏
Oof as an addict I just have to say how much I hate AA and that the success rate is less than 8%. I wish they’d change their program with how much we know about addiction now.
Regardless of my gripe, I’m so happy you made this video and are talking freely about how this stuff works. I’m happy you’re sober. I really am.
Ps: the piece you created in the video was so goddamn cute
I have to preface this comment with: I probably agree with your reasons for hating AA.
Define success? I know dozens upon dozens of people who have stayed clean/sober for years through 12 step programs. I don't think it's fair to include court ordered people in those statistics, you have to want to get better and put in the work for it to work. WITH that said though, I do have a lot of criticisms of the programs themselves... the thing that keeps me going back is the community I have there. Unfortunately not all two groups are the same though and I've seen some toxic ass rooms. I'm glad there are alternatives nowadays, if I took all the readings literally and didn't have good people in my rooms it wouldn't work for me. (Also personally I very much prefer NA to AA because I feel it more accurately addresses the true problems rather than focusing on the substance)
@@arioctober so first, some clarification!: when I said success, I specifically meant people who work the steps and stay clean, even if they perhaps relapse… the fact that they continue to come back seriously and continue working the program and maintain sobriety for long periods of time is success in this case. Also, when I say AA, I mean any of the other meetings like NA that fall under the company’s umbrella as well that use the same steps.
After rechecking the statistics, it says the success rate is actually between 5%-10%, but yes, this includes court ordered treatment (you are 1000000% right about wanting to get sober and it’ll only work if you’re in that headspace). I think for legal and medical privacy reasons they were not able to publish the % of people that were on court ordered treatment, but it did say something like more than half the people attending quit after 90 days and it wouldn’t surprise me if many of them were on COT. Regardless, it’s a stark comparison to AA’s own internal studies which had them at something like a
@@arioctober god that really did become such a massive wall of text on my part 😅😓
Oh it's no problem at all, thank you for your thorough and thoughtful reply! (I was so worried that my comment came across aggressive haha it's so hard to convey tone through the internet, but it seems you read it exactly as I intended thankfully.) Yes I completely agree that it's very outdated. And despite them specifically stating that it's a "spiritual but non-religious program" you can definitely see the Christian influence. I tend to feel alienated when people talk about higher powers/god because I'm a devout agnostic and heavy skeptic, and my relationship to my "higher power as I understand it" is very turbulent! But I did get very lucky finding some very good meetings with great people, and as long as those particular meetings continue to be supportive and wholesome I'll keep on attending. I like to make it a point in my shares when there's a lot of newcomers to say "it's okay if this program doesn't work for you, just please find something that does so you can stay clean and stay alive!"
@@arioctober absolutely! And I completely understand the whole not wanting to be taken out of context due to lack of ability to convey tone on the internet, it’s definitely one of the big reasons why I write walls of text so that hopefully my intent is not misconstrued. So I always try to look at other peoples comments with the most charitable approach, not only because I hope mine are taken the same way, but also because it’s sort of pointless to get upset and argue on the internet, you know? Also also, genuinely your comment did not come across as aggressive! 🥰
my ex gf was an addict. i tried setting boundaries with her but she would break them every time, to the point i would have panic attacks everyday and eventually began using myself. she’s gone now, and i’m still enduring addiction myself, but i like to think i’ve gotten better and i can’t wait to be fully healthy ❤️
Wishing you love and strength on your journey 💜
@@foreverNwonder thank you very much ❤️
@@xylasin no problem at all ☺️💞
Two of my uncles were addicts. One is no longer with us and the other is going on 12 years sober I want to say.
I have a cousin who's also an addict and he's been sober for several years now and has custody of his daughter because of it ❤️
Luckily I've never been addicted to anything like this but having several family members and friends struggle with it has taught me patience and understanding, but also not to baby them.
You're incredible Emily. Lots of love ❤️
I am so, so sorry that you’ve been made to feel as though you must defend your sobriety or explain what your sobriety date means to you. You owe none of that to anyone other than yourself and your family. If you never make any other follow up, I still support you. You are phenomenal.
Emily said on Twitter she'd been planning this video even before /*that*/ video
she's releasing her real (and final) response and video on the matter some time after this one!
I share your sentiment, though, I hope she's doing okay
@@Gxylord I am just afraid that she’s going to feel the need to provide explanations to us because of that whole thing. And I know she said she was doing another response on it, ghybut I don’t think she needs to. I love to watch the content where she’s doing what she does best… showing off her beautiful art and sharing relatable stories. 🥰🥰🥰
@@pembrokelove Yeah, I honestly feel so bad for her that it's been continued and there are people who think Shannon/Anthony's "response" holds any water... But I've been watching her for 5 or so years now, so I know exactly what you mean 🥰💕
This was an eloquently, gently described window into how addiction affects addicts. I hope this helps people who are struggling to understand.
th-cam.com/video/tvRRvxl0UZE/w-d-xo.html
Fax.
Welcome back Emily
".....as if the drugs were what was causing the problem in the first place" Only 14 seconds in and you just dropped a big truth bomb!
Thank you so much for speaking up about addiction - using your platform to educate others on your experience. I still feel there’s a lot of taboos and fear around addiction and or people with addiction. As an artist in recovery I’m very appreciative of your openness and bravery! Sending my love Emily! ❤️
When Creepstaker was accusing you of lying about your sobriety on an old dA account. I knew that she has no idea of the sobriety processes. You felt ashamed and wanted to give anyone a peace of mind that you were okay. Relapsed do occur especially when not in the right mind set. I’m so glad you made this video before the response video and please take your time with posting it.
PS
All the watercolor plants in this video are adorable and I want stickers of all them!
I had a parent with a crippling addiction. This video helped me understand them more. Thank you
@mr nobody go away. ThnkU.
Idk if you know but,
If you are interested in a support group of family members of addicts, there’s Al-Anon meetings all over the country.
As an addict. You did a great job on this video.
I actually thought about you today, my grades aren’t that that great and I know I need to get my life back on track and I wondered how did Emily get her life back on track? Will she make a video about that? And here it is. I’m glad you have recovered and encourage others to, I believe every person who does makes a difference and helps young people to stay out of trouble so to speak. Thanks for all your great content and best wishes.
Forgot how pretty water colours can look
Emily is really just out here being wholesome
As a recovering 12+ years heroin addict and a few years on methadone, I can really feel your story...
One of the best explanations of how sobriety and addiction work. Excellent.
I'm going to watch it through again just to rewatch the paintings as I love the simple nature of them as well as the variety of pots. Fantastic work as always.
I’m headed to bed and I want to be fully awake to watch this but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story and your experience with drug addiction. As an addict in recovery with 8 years in recovery and the daughter of an addict who lost his battle and is no longer here thank you so much for being so open and honest. I’m currently in college getting my bachelors degree in CJ focusing on case Managment for addicts and domestic violence. Addiction is so misunderstood and we need to talk about it more.
this is honestly the best her response could have been
this isn't even her response, she'd been planning this video even before Shannon's mess
honestly, I think that just makes this video even more impactful and respectable. This is part of why I love emily's channel, she's so willing to share her experiences to help others and help them feel less alone
she's truly a beautiful person /p /gen
Hope you’re doing well, Emily! Xoxo
@mr nobody
Not clicking that sorry, you’ll just have to type it out. Hope you mean well, though :)
@@LittleMiscreant it's a link to a completely unrelated video sadly
@@LittleMiscreant it’s a bot, just report at spam~
@mr nobody go away.
Thank you!
My best friend and the love of my life died of a heroin over dose a couple of years ago. I saw his struggle, his strength, his honesty his lies, his heart. I am always supportive to anyone trying and their constant struggle because of it. Please never put yourself in a space to fail if the negative stuff gets to heavy. Your loved by someone your and I love you for your outspokeness. I'm a complete stranger and obviously your dealing with liars lately but just throwing this out there if you need to talk there is chat lines or I'm here.
I needed to watch this because at seven years sober I’m at a place where I’m back at a hopeless place and needed the reminder.
Hi Emily... well said... addiction and recovery is not pretty. It's messy. And it takes special people who can love you through it. Not enabling love but tough love.
I love the censoring sound you used. It was easy on my ears. Oh, also, I love how you talk about these sort of things. I deal with really intrusive thoughts and bad anxiety. When hearing about things like this, typically I can't stand it because it's hard for my brain to handle that sort of thing. But you make it easy to listen and understand.
this video is so important! What you said about boundaries and drawing a line in the sand is just where im at rn. My uncle is an addict and growing up he was like an older brother to me but as I got older I had to do what was best for myself and dissassociate from him. I simply couldn't deal witht the lies, manipulation and the guilt tripping anymore. That does not mean i stopped caring about him, I think about him pretty much every day and I'll be ready to receive him with open arms once he's clean.
hi emily. i doubt you'll read this but your bit about an addicts support systems drawing lines in the sand and setting boundaries really resonated with me. im the child of an alcoholic/opioid abuser, and she had just passed last month due to a combo of her cyrrhosis caused by alcoholism and also having covid. she died in such a pitiful way. she was an addict her whole life, surrounded by those who wanted to help her and in the end she just pushed everyone, including me, away when she refused to even acknowledge she had a problem til the very end. i tried making amends with her, if she admitted she had a problem and would start seeking proper help, but that never happened and she ended up succumbing to it in the end. i didnt even cry at her funeral.
the point im getting at is i have some people who have said my whole life "well she's still your mother, you have a duty to her" even though all she did was make my life growing up hell because of her problem. i couldnt live my own best life because of her and i needed her out of my life. so its reassuring to hear i did the best thing i could for me when i commonly hear voices of descent. thank you for this.
You are one of the most bravest a raw people on TH-cam and that means a lot these days where we have to constantly sensor ourselves on any platform. Thank you for being yourself! I love your watercolor plants!
I don't know if you guys would accept this as sobriety. But May 1st 2022 is my 2 year anniversary from stopping self-harm. And there's incredible highs and god forsaken lows. Once only a few nights ago I had a knife to my sternum. Just a little bit of pressure and it would've pierced my skin. And I'm so, so fucking proud of myself. But idk just another rant in the TH-cam comment section. To anyone else on their road to recovery. Not even just self-harm. My heart is with you 💕 it does get better. Don't substitute it with a different addiction. If you're strong enough to live through addiction. There's a good enough change you can fight it. You're not alone. And Emily I love you so much. Your channel has definitely gotten me through tough times. It's a place to feel safe and at home. Found you in like 7th grade at now I'm a Sophomore. What a long road it has been.
I’ve been smoking cannabis for 13 years chronically and while some may say you can’t get addicted, you can. Mentally and physically. I’ve just started to try and cut down because I’ve been coughing up black stuff and my chest started to hurt. I used it for my migraine pain I had everyday for almost 3 years. Cutting down slowly and mentally prepping is def the first step. I still get cravings everyday and some stuff isn’t as enjoyable anymore, but my therapist tells me to lower my expectations when I do things that used to be fun when I smoked but just aren’t anymore. But the cravings are still there. Loved the video Emily, and I adore these little plant paintings~
We looove you Emily💖💖💖💖
I love how soft and soothing your art is. I should draw more plants.
I've been an alcoholic since I was about twelve years old. I still struggle ALOT with my cravings. I appreciate you talking about this. Thank you for using your platform to talking about sensitive matters like these. 😊
As someone with a major gambling addiction and as someone who removed himself from a relationship with an alcoholic, I can't tell you how well-put this message was. Thank you. Also, the watercolour plants were an absolute treat for the eyes. Usually I listen to these kinds of videos while playing a mobile game or something but I could not look away from your art.
You are so amazingly strong and I am so glad you were able to get better. I been battling with addiction for all my life and people like you who were able to get their lives back together and beat their addictions give me hope for a better future for myself. Keep going Emily love you! 💜
When you said "being an addict isn't a choice, but your personal decisions are" I felt a small tinge of vindication.
I was in a relationship with an abusive alcoholic and one of the things that pissed me off the most was that he tried to say that his addiction was like my Arthritis. That he could no more control being a violent alcoholic than I could the pain I have throughout my entire body.
It always made me so angry because there are programs and stuff he could go to, there are things he can do to stop himself. An the end of the day, he has to actively seek out the thing he is addicted to. My arthritis passively happens to me whether I want it to or not. I can take my medication but if it's not working, then I'm sol. If he had gone and the programs didn't work, he could still lock himself in a room, and because he can't access his substance, he can't use it.
And on top of it all, he implied that the violence is part of it. No. The disease is being addicted.
I always struggled with how to get these feelings across. I've never been one to thing my problems are worse than anyone else's, but when you are physically capable of stopping yourself from feeling a certain way, it's just not the same as someone who isn't.
Not that struggling with addiction isn't hard, nor that it doesn't suck. I have had lots of people struggle with addiction in my life and I try to help and support them the best I can. I will just never conceed that people's actions while under the influence are the same as the pain in my joints.
Had an alcoholic tell me his issues are like being autistic which hurt because just like you yourself have said. There's support everywhere for addiction.
Thank you for creating this. Myself and a lot of my family members have suffered from addiction and this was spot on, thank you for taking the time to help others understand a little bit more about why its not as easy as they might think it is.
AA/NA only has about a 5-10% success rate - if it works for you, that's awesome! But if you are struggling and AA/NA don't work for it, please don't let it discourage you! There are options out there other than 12 step programs, and there's nothing wrong with you if AA doesn't work for you! ❤️
Thanks for being so open, Emily. It makes a difference when people share their stories.
the plants calmed me so much-
Thank you so much for including those who have an active addict in their life and that it’s okay to set boundaries❤️ I needed to hear it
Thank you for your kind words. Recovery is never a simple or linear process, but I hope that the people who see this and are struggling can get to a better place. Y'all deserve it.
"you can't change the lake" really hit me like a sledgehammer.. I have had my battles with various non-dr*g addictions, such as sex, starvation and self-h*arm, and this metaphor really made me sit back and think.. I'll take it with me forwards, thank you for your honesty ❤
For those who have lost someone to addiction or the consequences of it, people in recovery speaking about their experience is immensely valuable, so thank you. No matter how much you wanted to help, you're often left with endless questions about what you could've done differently. There is so much stigma around "failing" to remain sober, but we'll never make progress overcoming addiction without being willing to confront the reasons why people relapse and form addictions in the first place. Lovely video as always, Emily.
Oh man, I haven't thought about Pulp Fiction in a long time! I have that issue with Requiem for a Dream as a whole, I can't watch it at all anymore. I also get triggered watching people on TV smoke meth, especially seeing the clouds. I had a big problem with that 15 years ago and I STILL can't watch scenes like that or I start panicking and I get hit with cravings and start debating with myself which is an insanely dangerous road.
I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for pulling yourself out of that life.
I’m a child of an addict and a codependent parent and I’m also healing from substance abuse. It’s easy to forget about healing once you feel like you’re past the bad stuff. Thank you 💛
It’s like my depression, it’s never fully gone. Once you gotten over it your not actually over it… you have thoughts still of the past with what happened and of the future without it
Thank you for discussing this topic so openly, I'm 2 years clean from an opioid addiction myself (aside from a couple of relapses that were just one dose into instant regret), but I'm still deep in active IV meth/amphetamine addiction, and have been trying to build the courage and resolve to seriously attempt quitting for a few months now, and there is no other form of encouragement that works other than the encouragement coming from other addicts who are much further into their recovery journey :)
This message is so important for people to hear. Addiction is never solved all at one time. It's called "addiction" for a reason. There are so many reasons that people use drugs, some reasons are for self medication especially in people who have ADHD and don't know it. The reasons that people become addicted to drugs is never the drugs themselves. People fall back into an addiction for the same reason that people who get released from jail/prison do crimes again. You need to change the environment that you are in and better yourself and the people around you before you can kick the addiction.
The day after cutting my brother off, he died from heroin OD. My mom and I have been wracked with guilt ever since. We love him so much and after years of struggle, didn’t know how else to help him. Your words today have been like a soothing balm, thank you for including this aspect of the horrors of addiction. The friends and family who cut off the addict aren’t terrible people, though sometimes we feel we are.
I hope you'll keep up the good work! Don't let anyone muddy those waters. They're casting lines; they've gone fishing, and while their lights are on but nobody's home, know it's their own house they'll be tracking mud into. 💕
Thank you for this video, ive been a long time fan of you and in the last 2 years my dad has developed an addiction to meth and often blames me and my brother because we chose to distance ourselves, your words mean alot.
My parents fell for the “you’re sober, all better” trope. I think this would be helpful for me to explain to them.
I absolutely love watching you paint plants, it's something that I just can't do and it's so satisfying seeing them come to life :)
I love how you handle the topic at hand as well. It's a perfect mix of compassionate but firm. I never had any drug additictions, but mental health in general is similar in the fact that you have to admit when you're doing something problematic. There are things associated with my MMD where I cannot physically get out of bed, or even shower, and I know that's something that is difficult or near impossible for me to change. But how I manage my emotions, especially lashing out towards others, is entirely my choice whether I like it or not. It took me years to admit that I was channeling my sadness, anger, and emptiness in a toxic way, by lashing out towards family and friends. It's a life long journey that never truly ends, so it's always important to adapt your mind and heart. What coping mechanisms work for someone now may not be effective in 10 or 20 years.
Lost my only sister in July 2016 to years of alcoholism. She didn’t get her second chance, her chance for sobriety. We miss her everyday. There isn’t a day that I don’t think of her, that I don’t hear her voice, want to hug her. We had so many good memories. Her addiction didn’t define her. She was a lovely individual, a person that loved with everything she had, and was loved immensely in return.
The boundaries that had to be put in place with my best friend were awful. Brought so much guilt. I was so afraid the day would come that her body couldn’t take it, and that day came. She had heart issues and the alcohol and not caring for her health couldn’t continue without catastrophe. It’s been over 5 years and I struggle with the loss.
Please don’t take your second chance for granted, those that get one. That chance for life, to come out on the other side, is a blessing that so many don’t live to see. You are worthy of sobriety and are loved!
I love these story times so much! I have never been an addict but my SO was and this really helps me understand that side of him more. He has stayed sober for over 13 years now but understanding his triggers and what he struggles with is eye opening. You are super strong for being so venerable with us. Thank you!
What strikes me about this video is how badly you might have wanted to hear this level of compassion from yourself. Ive struggled with that for so long. 🥺 This video came to me at a perfect time. Thank you
I once had a friend who was addicted, being so young then, I couldn't understand why she acted the way she did and her actions towards myself and others had hurt me and others over and over. I wasn't a great person either, struggling with my own demons and toxicity, and I stopped talking to her. Last I had heard, she's been sober for three years and I am seeing a therapist/psychiatrist. I hope she's healing slowly and as gentle as possible. I wish her nothing but the best.
I'm happy I found your channel. This painting exercise is so therapeutic, as is listening to your honest struggles. You are making a positive difference in the world. Thank you for sharing what you've learned, I'm sure it will help many people.
I lost my mom to an OD back in October, you’re art and content had always reminded me of her. She was passionate about writing like you are your art, and she was very open and honest about alot of the things she went through and did, she was my hero and loosing her was my biggest nightmare brought to reality. Thank you for continuing to make honest and beautiful content 💕
hearing your story always motivates me to get better
I hope you get better too. ♥️♥️♥️ Please take care of yourself. You're loved.
I don’t think you understand how much I needed this video right now. Thank you Emily.
Your addiction videos are so clear and relatable. I don’t have a substance dependency, but I have been struggling with a severe eating disorder for 20 years, and honestly… I see it as fundamentally the same. Special brains unite 🧠
Sometimes when I'm having a bad day and I'm feeling a little shitty I listen to this and somehow I find a little faith that I can do this ❤️
Thank you for the reminder about not feeling guilt for setting boundaries for people hurting me and for sharing this part of yourself. It meant a lot to me on a rough day.
Thank you for helping me understand. I still sometimes catch myself thinking things like "I don't understand why they don't just stop" and having it explained like this really helps me to understand what someone might be going through.
As someone who has struggled with self harm and sometimes eating , I appreciate this video a lot
Thank you for sharing your story, Emily! My Mom has been through sobriety since '93 (she's was an alcoholic, she thankfully never drank during her pregnancies with my 2 bros and I) and she went through AA which helped her immensely! She only went down that route because of my Dad giving her the ultimatum of being sober or have her kids taken away. She chose sobriety and she continues to acknowledge that she could easy fall back into her addiction if she kept continuously drinking (she always stops at 2 and no more). I'm always proud that she continues to stay sober and that her love for her family is what keeps her from falling back.
I've also seen my one brother (middle child) also go through alcoholism in his teens and he stopped because of the same reason. My SIL also had to threaten to take away his 2 kids at the time (he's got a total of 5 now; 4 girls & 1 boy) if he didn't go through sobriety. He never went through a sobriety program, but he does not drink as much anymore. He would only drink if he went out with my SIL and he's slowed down his drinking since (not sure, but I believe he'll have 2-3 drinks and stops from there). Because of the history of alcoholism in my family, I don't drink as I'm afraid I'll become addicted to it. Thankfully, I'm not a fan of the alcohol taste nor sensation when I've tried to consume alcoholic beverages when I turned 21 (now 32) and the only thing I'm addicted to is chocolate 😂.
I appreciate the insight and I hope your story helps others who may be going through the same thing as you did and go through the path of sobriety. Take care, Emily and love your artwork as always! 💜
As a recovering addict myself I really appreciated this video. Going on one year this month (not my first rodeo though, I almost had 18 months before I relapsed) and yeah it's definitely not just about the Dr*gs. I have had addict tendencies my entire life with multiple types of addictions including substances but also things like shopping and hoarding. I too have Criticisms and Opinions about 12 step programs but I keep going back to my NA meetings because I need and love my community.
You deserve everything, especially after dealing with the Shannon ordeal. You and your family stay safe!
This brought me to tears. I still struggle sometimes and I lost both of my best friends to addiction and I have to tell myself everyday that it isn’t my fault they’re gone. Thank you so much for this. 💕
As a constantly recovering alcoholic I needed this right now. Thanks Emily
I remember I had a friend in highschool who did shrooms and cocaine. I didn’t know her very well, but we stilled talked and hung out a bit.
On multiple occasions, she would tell me what she was going to try next, heroine, Molly, etc…and in doing so she tried to peer pressure me to start using as well. She told me I’d like it, that I’d be fine, that she’d give my number to her dealer, etc…
I ended up having to tell her one day, that I couldn’t be friends with her any more as this was going over my boundary and I was uncomfortable. I had tried to politely tell her I didn’t want to ever use anything, but she never listened to me. It all was too much for me.
A part of me always regretted that, as I felt like I had been rude and mean (she told me as much) to set a boundary and cut her out of my life. But hearing you tell me it was okay to do that, to leave when I was being put a bad position by her, made me realize that it wasn’t good for her OR I, to continue to be friends.
Wherever she is, I do hope she’s okay now.
This being said, I appreciate how open you are, your videos always are a delight to listen to, Emily. Thank you for putting so much good into the world with your channel.
This video was interesting to watch to learn about sobriety, I always loved ur art work Emily
As an addict thank you so much for this informative video. So many people have misconceptions about addiction and recovery. It’s so hard to recover when people expect you to never relapse again when you say you want to get sober.
This!! As a recovering addict myself, and being a child of addicts who are back in forth in recovery, I think Emily said this perfectly! Cold turkey definitely didn't work for me because I didn't address my underlying root cause for years! So I struggled to get clean and lied so many times on when my sober dates actually were! Thankfully I am now clean 7 years. I'm not sure of my actual date but I celebrate it by the year! I've had to be both the person that needed the boundaries and the one to set them once I was fully sober! It's been a very tough thing to do when you know how it feels to be the addict, and when it's family or loved ones! But I agree that it's the best thing for both the addict and the one setting the boundaries!
I absolutely fully admire you, Emily for how you've faced your struggles and stood up for yourself! I feel bad that I had to find you're channel from you're first CSA video, but I'm glad I did! I'm honestly disgusted that I was ever a fan of hers! But I just wanted to say, I love your art, as well as you're messages you spread of awareness for addiction and mental health! You are such an inspiration and I am sending you all my love and light! Keep shining girl!💞
Trauma can cause addiction. I spent many years using! I even went back after I had my son was I was 24 but my family stepped in and made me sign a contract and I went to outpatient services and it worked but then in 2012 I was hit by a school bus YES a school bus! I was in my car and the bus driver took a corner didn’t see me and hit me head on the drivers side and all along the side of my vehicle. I had to crawl out the passenger side and I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. After an mri they found my disc in my neck tore and the fluid leaked out and my c5. The accident happened in January and I didn’t get surgery until the end of may. I was debilitated for those six months. I have permanent nerve damage and I struggle figuring out how to treat my pain with opiates. It’s a constant battle!! You are brave, and thank you for sharing!! Everyone has a story and that was mine as of up until now. My son is 16 and he is my driving force to stay sober 💗
Yes! Thank you. Growing up with an alcoholic parent was and still is one of the most difficult things in my life. My dad recently relapsed because, well, he didn’t treat the problems that he initially started to self medicate with alcohol. My dad’s sick, addiction isn’t something you just get over, it’s a life long battle.
My dad was (and I guess still is?) an alcoholic. He got sober when he found out my mother was pregnant with me. He’s been sober ever since. Growing up, every Friday night, he would have a meeting which was just him and some buddies having pancakes at the local Village Inn. My sister and I used to tease him about this mercilessly. Now, I think that was very likely some sort of AA meeting. It was probably something that kept (and has continued to keep) him sober for the past 38-39 years.
I love how you candidly spoke of your addiction while painting beautiful plants and the funkiest pots. I have so much respect for you 💙
So excited to see an upload from you!
Honestly its so nice to see something like this because usually its all hush hush quiet about stuff like this, or that people mention it but never really *talk* about it
It's just refreshing to have someone say what its actually like and that it isnt a easy thing to do (such as going cpld turkey) and that you arent prepared for the journey infront of you if you do it alone
As someone who hasn’t been around people with substance issues, I needed this. Thank you for sharing. I’m very glad to have a better understanding, and now an even greater compassion for those with problems.
THOSE PLANTS ARE SO PRETTY!!!!! Also im really happy that you found the hurt parts inside yourself and decided to try and healed them.
I started watching you with your how to watercolor videos. You are an amazing woman, strong, brave. Thank you for being so open. Your art is beautiful. Very inspiring.
People who haven't been there will never understand, they can only respect the issue and be supportive.