They probably still would've found the things in the river and identified Elaine. I don't know the possibility of the bones being found though Sorry for my bad English it isn't my first language
@@agoosekilledme6283 literally didn't even know English wasn't your first language from reading the first part of your comment, your English is amazing and you've got nothing to apologize for 👌🏽
@@Its_Aliyahhh it’s a term for a variety of sexual power roleplay with consensual participants that can be broken into different groups (bondage-discipline + sadomasochism)
@Juan manuel Pilo bro because their dad has a horrible hidden personality, if Elaine got treated like that by him then who knows the danger that the children could be in
in another universe, Elaine is a primary school teacher and has a loving husband at home that's into kinky things :( she might be gone but she inspired me to be more, she studied in her mid 30's, and I always felt like it is too late for me to go to uni at 25. Thank you Elaine, I will go study pedagogy for me and for you!
I'll be 33 in a month and I just went back to college to study counselling after raising 4 kids (youngest is 5) I'll be going to uni next year. Go for it!
I don't know who needs to hear this, but BDSM without consent is just abuse. And coerced consent is manipulation, not consent. It is so sad that this vulnerable woman fell prey to this sick, abusive man.
It is so refreshing to listen to a true crime case where the police actually did a great job. Too frequently you hear about the police dropping the ball but they really smashed it here. RIP Elaine
i personally wouldnt consider their work great in this case, because, although having access to it, they didnt check elaines laptop until her bones were found. the later work (once they found out it wasnt a suicide) was a lot better, but in the beginning they couldve done so much more
This case made me really sad. She was trying to better her life get better. She was so brave to admit herself to hospital. I havent felt this sad since the gemma hayter case.
Make sure you take care of yourself if true crime starts to affect you, sometimes I can get too deep and need a breather. I don’t want to sound like a mum but I know for me sometimes I can get in too deep and it starts to affect me mentally
@@hollyg9589 thanks for the reminder :( this case dug really deep into me, especially by how much i related with elaine (with the depression and suicide. i also delved into bdsm for a bit but stopped after they threatened to kill my family)
It always scares me out how NORMAL these people look from the outside. A married architect with two kids who flies model airplanes on the weekends? Idk what exactly I expect from bdsm murderers...but not that.🤨
@@Queenofthatank Yes, and probably millions more undetected or even undiscovered victims (or victims passed off as accident/misadventure/suicide, etc, as in Elaine's case.) Frightening. These 'things', with their Hellish 'squirming brains' go un~noticed amongst us, almost passing as Human Beings...
@@Queenofthatank yeah :( its disturbing to think that this kind of thing happens so often and sometimes so close to you. one day a friend of a friend could be on the news for a murder and you never would've guessed. this world is truly terrifying, enough that im often scared to go out places alone in broad daylight. this case makes me sick.
I go door to door for charity and I'm always shocked at how many people leave their door open when they go back inside to get cash, BECAUSE I LOOK TRUSTWORTHY! So do most successful criminals, or they wouldn't be successful.
My husband is an Irish Defence Counsel and I was watching this while cleaning my makeup brushes (not realising he was listening too 😅😂) he said you explained that last legal point really well, he piped up when you said you hoped you explained it correctly. This was so respectful how you explained this case, Elaine deserved so much more 😓
OK quick question for your husband then... If it was legal then does he think he will get a retrial or will even matter, as in if he gets one does he think he will get off?
@@jenniferpayne3202 the very very short answer is that if the evidence concerning the phones was unconstitutionally obtained which I think it was, then he might be entitled to have his conviction overturned (but he might not because one of the things the Supreme Court has asked the European Court of Justice is can this apply to cases going forward only ). If he is subject to a retrial then his lawyers will attempt to prevent that trial from proceeding on the basis that the publicity this has received means he couldn’t receive a fair trial. He might actually have a point because the case has been covered world wide. I doubt there are many people in Ireland that haven’t heard of it. If it goes to a retrial I don’t know. The best evidence in the case could be missing. I think it’s a much more difficult case to bring home without it.
@@khadyadjisall5708 It really is so sad. He basically groomed her in my opinion. She seemed to be in such a bad mental place at the time, unable to consent to anything.
@Monah Zaini first of all, last I checked, he was the one who actually cheated on his wife, so he’s just as guilty on that if not more. second, because she had an affair, you think she deserved to be tortured and murdered? girl, you are sick. seriously, get help. can’t believe you’re being a pick me for a murdering abuser
@Monah Zaini She got murdered dude, what the fuck. Also regarding their texts, do you understand how being in a manipulative and abusive relationship works? The whole point is that she is supposed to just listen to him and do what he wants.
I cant quite wrap my head around how big America is. Im in the North East, and its like a 6 hour drive to London from here, and that seems like so far away. Texas must just be.... really can't even conceptualise it! 🖤🖤
If you’re happy with that then it’s not boring to you. I myself don’t particularly enjoy going out, I am a homebody, and so is my hubby, so, works for us.
I feel really bad for the wife, I always wonder how do the murderers family/partners ever trust anyone again, it must be really traumatising and just awful.
He’s trying to overturn his conviction by saying the police invaded his privacy 🙄 good grief he’s pathetic. He’s also suing the phone company for not protecting his data.
@@ncisfan1002 that’s what I thought but I guess Ireland has some law that he’s saying they broke. I’m not entirely sure. I don’t understand all lingo they use.
This is terrifying because I lived it. I went into this video unprepared… my ex treated me the exact same way. Kink I wasn’t okay with ended up having to be okay because he wanted it. He cut his initials into my thigh. Whenever I became suicidal he said he’d be happy to kill me. He planned a school shooting when he was in high school, before we met, and told me all about it. He said he didn’t think he could go through life without killing someone at least once. When I tried to kill myself without him, he kicked me out. I’m doing better now. Still in therapy, still learning to live with all of it. God, poor Elaine… you can’t see it when you’re in it. It feels like you’re being loved in this unique way that nobody else can even begin to touch. Like if you leave then nobody will ever love you again. Please, if any of this feels familiar to you at all, RUN. Drop everything. Give up everything. Get the fuck out of there. There are so many of these monsters out there.
“like if you leave then nobody will ever love you again” that’s how i feel right now. my boyfriend isn’t abusive, but i just don’t feel the same about him. i don’t want to make him sad by leaving him.
It’s creepy how many people have lived this kind of life and so many people don’t know that side of the abuser, they see an entirely different person. My ex was like that too, it was terrifying. He ignored my consent all the time, thankfully when he started mentioning knife play and wanting to cut me I stood firm against it. Anyone in these situations will one day be killed if they don’t get out, and I truly hope everyone experiencing these things gets out before it’s too late
"If it makes him happy, it makes me happy" are not the words of someone who is genuinely okay with what's being done to them. It's the words of someone who feels like they can't say no. I also feel like a perfect demonstration of the sheer contrast between these two people's intentions and characters is that Elaine's deepest desire was to cherish a life, while "David's" desire was to end one. It sums up the power imbalance pretty concisely.
I’m shocked your coving this Irish Case!Elaine was my play school teacher/helper ! She was incredible at her job, Don’t let her personal life take away from her work! She was kind and quiet and had a hard life! May she rest in peace 🙏🏻
I love hearing things like this because people hear the things the victim did in their personal life and it suddenly changes their perception of that person, and that's so wrong. Remember them as the person you knew, their personal life shouldn't change the good memories.
Thank you for sharing. Eleanor channel always knows there is much more than the one part of a victims lifestyle and Eleanor made sure to let everyone know that Elaine was sweet caring lady who loved kids she is great for reminding followers about the victims and all involved in the cases she covers
I'm of the belief that all consenting adults should be free of judgements of their fetish or kink. It should be between them and their partners, and other peoples opinion about whether or not it's actually arousing has no relevance or place in the conversation..... yet that seems to be where most of the judgements come from. "I don't find that arousing therefore is weird to me that anybody else could". But as long as it's between consenting adults and it's a mutual desire that is practiced safely there shouldn't be an issue. 🤷♀️ With that said, this was clearly not consensual, yet it does point out some of the dangers of BDSM. Not everyone in the scene is there with the right intentions and it can attract people who don't intend to continue with consent. I think he prayed on her fetish with the disguise of it being role-playing. Saying it was at all her responsibility to help him not murder was so incredibly manipulative and wrong. That's on him and he shouldn't be even engaging in BDSM if he didn't trust himself. Trust is huge. People like him give fetishes, especially BDSM such a bad rap, but the reality is that he's not into BDSM, he's into abuse, SA, and murder. Totally 100% not related.
No he's right, he's not part of the BDSM scene, he's part of the abuse scene. BDSM only works and exists with consent, trust, mutual understanding and equal respect for each person involved in the activities. Graham only saw Elaine as a tool.
How he reacted to her suicide attempt really just get me beyond any word that comes after angry and I cannot grasp how there actually are people like this walking the same planet as us.
i cant stop thinking about the fact if that officer wasn’t on a walk and saw the flying airplane competition that it would have taken even longer to find who the murderer was. I find it very fascinating how lucky it was he went on that walk on that day and how years later that very piece of information would help solve a murder. interesting to think about. amazing video
"The Nokia was born..." I thought we were gonna get a historical breakdown & origin story of the invention of Nokias in the middle of a true crime story. Had a terrible day in work today and I needed that laugh 😅😆
It isn't at all, this is just a man who wanted to take advantage of someone and did not care about their boundaries in the slightest. Some people use kink to justify their abuse but it doesn't make it alright.
my thoughts exactly. this wasn’t kink//BDSM non-consensual BDSM//KINK is just torture, kidnapping, abuse, etc. consent is an absolutely crucial, vital element of kink. just like if you take the informed consent out of polyamory//non-monogamy it’s just…cheating. 💁🏾♀️
Me too. I just watched s video of a "findom" on a swing kicking the sub in the face every swing, laughing her ass off. It was most definitely abuse and how happy she was doing it was sick.
Can we just appreciate how amazing these police officers were? Like they made sure they had absolutely everything they could before making an arrest, they went above and beyond to give Justice ❤️
Even if he hadn’t done it, he still belonged in jail. He was an abusive sicko and was clearly attempting murder. It wouldn’t be surprising if he felt that if he got her to consent to letting him kill her, it wouldn’t count as murder.
@Juan manuel Pilo she clearly expressed not wanting to be killed, stabbed, bleed: any of those things. but due to extremely low self esteem and manipulation she felt as if she had no other choice than to go and please him. when someone is in an extremely vulnerable state, it's so easy to manipulate them to get what you want and you can see how she is scared but stays because she wants to make him 'happy'. he is sick in the head and took advantage of elaine and murdered her. if you think she wanted this i recommend you watch again and have a very deep think about your morals.
I think the fact that he even wanted to kill a woman should be prison worthy. The fact that he wanted it so bad he did so much to go through with it just makes it worse, but the fact that these ideas were in his mind in the first place is fucking abnormal and a serious problem.
It is absolutely heartbreaking that every time Elaine felt as though she was getting to the point to do another suicide atempt she would put herself in hospital but this evil man still took her life. She fought so hard to stay alive every day and this man took full advantage of her and manipulated her into death. I wonder if her mentality the last time she admitted herself was because he was so persistant in telling her that she did want to die.
Agreed. When you are suicidal and someone is basically begging in a dominate, evil, demonic, forceful, manipulative way to kill you…. I’m sure that just tears apart the remaining part of ur mental health
Yeah, it’s absolutely harrowing. She did everything she could with her limited resources to build herself up and get back on track, it’s just devastating that this monster ultimately used her insecurities and good nature to kill her. RIP Elaine ❤️
Bdsm with an unconsenting person is not bdsm. It's a sexuel assault. Elaine seemed to be such a gente soul. I really hate how most of the victims in these videos were always nice people.
@@bartholomewpinecone6562 What are you on about? All I did was state 2 pretty clear facts from the video. I'm not the one with pictures of corpses on my laptop or boning another womans husband. Does the truth always make you so uncomfortable?
@@kellysehoun Still such a sad story and she definitely didn't deserve what that awful man put her through. But imagine how the parents of the children she cares for felt finding out she has dead bodies on their laptop. Not the best!
We need to stop believing that just because someone is married, has a good job, has kids, etc. means that they are trustworthy and a good person. That belief is why so many vulnerable people end up being manipulated. SO many of these true crime stories begin with someone trusting another person all because they’re rich, married, kids, job
@Monah Zaini I have no clue why people are so mad at what you said. It’s clear she got help multiple times and the healthcare system is at a higher level than many other countries. We are very privileged to have healthcare services where other countries do not. The country you mentioned doesn’t have good healthcare is completely true. Elaine was not well and she did get help but unfortunately external factors led her astray. The man that did what he did to her took advantage of her, the doctors did what they could for her while they had the opportunities.
Graham denying everything is funny to me cause it’s like that Patrick meme, the bad guy is like “these texts are from you. This footage is of you, these other texts are from you. This footage has your face in it, right there. So this has to be you.” And he looks at them like “no that’s not me.” Guys a fucking idiot.
It's actually horribly smart. Confessing only helps during court trial. If you confess to anything during investigation - it doesn't actually gives u any benefits but incriminates you more. Too bad he knew that & that he is kind of smart - almost got away with it. But thank God the police did a fantastic job here. And its as if universe wanted justice for Elaine - the draught that caused those boys to fish out all that evidence from the reservoir. The dog that kept bringing human bones for a month. The right policemen that were determined to dig out the truth. Even the Nokia phones that just turned on magically after being underwater for over a year.
Oh my gosh! That's so funny. I was thinking of you when she said that and was wondering what you would say if she asked you! Lol I had no idea you'd commented already. 😂
I can’t get over Graham using the primary phones when the burners are *right there*. Smart my foot! Beyond impressive police work in this one, I was so very satisfied with it.
Not even just that, you have to watch out for the person's potentially impaired judgement in subspace / with endorphins / etc. I'm a switch and both people who sub to me have a physical disability* and will accidentally hurt themselves if I don't stay on top of the situation (no pun intended) and manage their positioning etc. In particular their hips kept dislocating from too enthusiastic of a "mating press" position, lol. (Pardon the name, I didn't name it that.) *Note: I have the same disability as them and we've been together 10 years so I know what will harm them in particular. An abled person should never override a disabled person's bodily behavior without prior discussion for safety.
@@Queen-of-Swords there absolutely is, what are you talking about. everything is possible if its about two consenting adults. Which is obviously not the case here
@@Queen-of-Swords Also, literally any turn on can become unhealthy. Finding boobs attractive is unhealthy if you treat all women like objects and don't look them in the eye or don't take their pleasure into account in the bedroom. And there can also be very healthy ways to have an outlet for stuff you're working out that may be from an unhealthy childhood. BDSM CAN be an outlet, when done correctly though it can be a healthy outlet, and it's not always the case. Plus correlation doesn't equal causation, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mental health. There's no possible way to make the claim that this is accurate, unless everyone who practices BDSM consented to disclose their life and submit it for data and it was compared to every other adult in the world who also submitted everything about their sex lives and childhood for the purpose of data. Any data collected on the topic is from people who are choosing to go to therapy. So this is basically just saying everyone in therapy has issues they need to work out. 🤷♀️🤣 We all have human issues and we all find ways to deal, and BDSM is most certainly not unhealthy by nature. That's just a really weird thing to say because I can't think of why it's a bad thing if the people involved are enjoying it and getting something out of it. Ok, that is all......lol.
lemme be y’all’s bdsm auntie for a sec: the dom only ever has as much control as the sub gives them. the sub sets boundaries and the dom can play within those boundaries, not the other way around. talking about limits is ALWAYS necessary before doing rougher stuff. even if it’s just a one night thing. it’s important to talk about those things so everyone can have a safe experience. so remember, the sub is supposed to be the one who’s actually in control and if you don’t feel like you can have your dom stop anytime you want, it’s not bdsm, its r4pe. don’t be afraid to get out of toxic situations, i promise that what will happen if you stay is much scarier. stay safe everyone ❤️
@Monah Zaini no creepy pics for me. This comment is very true, been in the scene for almost 15 yrs, and I'm a switch hitter, so I've seen both sides. The sub is the one with the real control, in a real BDSM situation.
I feel so sad for Elaine this was apart of her life she obviously wanted noone to know about and now its talked about worldwide😪 I'd be so upset thinking my deepest secrets were shared after I died. RIP Elaine
There are a lot of crime story tellers on TH-cam but Eleanor is in a league of her own. Has great connectivity to her cases and reports on them so well.
I know this is a late update, but I just looked it up. Recent news says that he has exhausted all attempts to appeal his sentencing, and will continue his life sentence. There was even a female visitor that has been banned from visiting him (she claims she only visited to hear his side of the story on how the courts treated him, but she was banned for not falling under the required degree of friend or family that are allowed to visit)
Everybody needs to hear this; the motto of BDSM is "safe, sane, and consensual", if whatever you are participating isn't consensual or has a safe word (ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY IN BDSM SCENARIOS!), then it is just abuse and unsafe and you must get out of there as soon as you can! Hell, even CNC (consensual non-consent, rape roleplay) has safe words and are never meant to endanger anyone involved and is all consensual ! please, i'm begging you all to practice safe, sane, and consensual sex even outside of BDSM. Stay safe everybody.
@@kaijuteeth so to cope with being raped you want to pretend to rape other people? No offence but it just sounds like a way to get away with being a rapist without going to jail for it
@@toby2645 do you...understand what rape is? the fact theres a lack of consent in any shape? youre literally just being ignorant if you don't understand what rapeplay or cnc is and think that way. its a common way of coping and therapists recognize that, it isnt rape or "pretending to rape", its consensual, safe, and sane. the only thing is its a roleplay of sorts and the people involved have the power to stop at anytime with their own safewords or safe actions. rapists get away all the time with being rapists, there is no control for the victim and they are left feeling traumatized and powerless after the event. so some victims instead take their partner whom they TRUST AND CONSENT TO play a role but still have the knowledge they can stop the scene at any time because its SAFE AND CONSENSUAL. things that actual rape isnt. also a lot of cnc isnt "pretending to rape other people", people who use cnc to cope play the role as the victim usually and use it to feel some sort of power in a situation that left them powerless. (when they are raped, there is no power left at all and there is no consent or feeling of safety. during cnc, they have safewords and safe actions to indict they want to stop the scene entirely to their partner who they feel safe with and consent to sex with.)
@@kaijuteeth if rape play isn’t rape then why tf is it called that? Also give me a link to where therapists support pretending to rape people to feel control again, it’s not my fault that as a victim of SA I don’t understand the point of wanting to re-live a traumatic experience but in the role of the person who did it
@@sholomoone youtube deleted my original comment for editing so im replying again. oopsie ! while we may not think its normal or feel shame for it, having rape fantasies as a survivor or even not a survivor is normal, i linked a vice article talking abt it in other comments here, but we use this as a way to regain power and ALWAYS have it be safe, sane, and consensual. we have safe words and systems in place, we have total control over the situation in what originally would be a traumatizing and horrific situation in order to reclaim and empower ourselves. please educate yourself, it can seem wrong and you in no way have to suddenly open up completely to the idea it exists, but dont shame people who use it to cope
@@ms.annthropic6341 ....you do realize plenty of SA survivors participate in CNC as a way of taking back power of their trauma and are validated / advised by their therapists because THEY ARE in control now. they can say the safe word and it'll stop. its interesting to look into which is why i mention it, CNC is only really ever seen in SA victims but even then its a controlled scenario and isn't actual rape because there are precautions taken. its okay if thats not your cup of tea, but dont call other SA survivors vile for trying to take back power. therapists actually DO recommend it or recommend writing about it, its always to survivors who are in committed relationships ( and people in general in committed relationships. these are all scenes) and i wont deny that there are creeps and predators, but thats in every community too and we cant do too much about it but warn others to try and stop them from harming other members. its sad but true. Ive seen this as someone in many different communities, especially the furry community. your opinion is valid, but dont invalidate others who see it as a form of escapism and can differentiate between rape and roleplay where they still have power to say stop through the safeword or safe gesture. in another reply i talk more in-depth from sexologists and such so please take a look.
my name is gemma and hearing someone as important to me as ellie saying my name so many times just made me so happy. it's such an uncommon name, and it never happens so it's so special, thanks ellie.
I love how in you intros you care about the views & ask them to click off if this may distress them. I never need to click off, but this is a nice touch. Thank you for being so nice & caring.
I know this is a serious video, and I respect that, but Eleanor was extra cute today. Just the mannerisms and some things she said. Eleanor can talk about the darkest stuff and still completely lift my spirits!
i was thinking she was extra cute today. it was refreshing to see all of the little things that weren’t edited out! i love the more wholesome and down to earth side of her as well as the professional side.
I thought she was way too giddy / jolly / sassy telling this story. I mean these are real life murders and she’s telling it like it’s a fun story. I was quite eerie in my opinion. I do like her tho
I thought she was way too giddy / jolly / sassy telling this story. I mean these are real life murders and she’s telling it like it’s a fun story. I was quite eerie in my opinion. I do like her tho
Hearing Eleanor giggle as she says, 'Mster and Slv", was too funny. It's the only lighthearted element in this case. This poor woman, I hope her family is able to at least rest easier knowing the sick person who killed her is caught.
This doesn't pertain to the video, but if Eleanor could share this story. A girl named Jennifer Caridad has been missing from Sunnyside, WA since August. She was last seen with her ex boyfriend Aurelio Escobar. Her ex went on a crime spree through Washington state and into Oregon that ended in a shoot out with police in Medford, Oregon. During this crime spree he stole Jennifer's parents car. The car was later recovered close to a lake in Yakima, WA with a significant amount of blood in the back seat. Jennifer's clothes and some belonging were also found at said lake. Jennifer Caridad has been missing since August and the police have given up on finding her.
I literally let out an excited 'yes!' when I saw this notification! Perfect timing :,) Sending you lots of positivity, Eleanor! Thank you for all the effort and consideration you put into your videos
As someone who's dealt with suicidal thoughts before and has attempted, the fact that she was strong enough to place herself in a mental hospital when she felt it was getting bad again and knew that she had to get better is so inspiring. She never really wanted to die, she just wanted to grow and become a stronger person, she was so strong even moments before she went. I know that in another universe she's a great teacher with a loving family and spends time doing what she loves. I hope she rests in peace.
In case anyone wants an update on Dwyer's appeal that was mentioned: he won the case about the phone data being inadmissible, but due to the huge amount of other evidence, that didn't amount to a miscarriage of justice and the verdict was upheld.
For everyone confused about the Gurum thing, I’m not sure if this was maybe a typo on whatever source Eleanor was reading from but the guys alias name was Gordon Chisolm lol
1. Loving the new intro format. 2. THANK YOU for putting the second part so fast. Watched the first part last night before bed and I was here suffering because I wanted part 2 ASAP.
Eleanor is so respectful & kind not only to the victims & their families, but to those of us who have certain trauma & can’t watch. She’s absolutely my favourite TH-camr 🥺
According to the Irish Examiner: "The trial later heard that the name Garoon Caisholm was a variation of the name Gordon Chisholm, an acquaintance of Dwyer’s."
You should make a playlist on your channel of cases that don't have sexual abuse themes, a lot of true crime cases have them so having a spot where people can binge watch your videos but that don't have any sexual assault might be a good place to send people when you give the warnings at the beginning
@@scenesterstar That was my point. You don't know what cases don't have it until you start watching the video which might leave some people to clicking a bunch if videos before they find one that they can watch
@@scenesterstar I know, but the TW still isn't until after the video starts. It was just a suggestion. She's not doing anything wrong, it just might be nice to have a playlist of cases that don't include sexual assault so you don't have to start a bunch of videos to find one if you want to/can watch a case. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal or anything
Wow. I’m used to hearing cases with shoddy police work, but this is one case with excellent police work. They really pieced this one together and put a lot of effort in
i was pleasantly surprised and impressed with the police work on this case. even though the case went cold for about a year, the police were presented with a starting point and they worked hard, keeping momentum! this is the type of dedication that we need to see more of. R.I.P elaine, you were such a kind, beautiful woman. ❤️
That man is disgusting , this is truly heartbreaking she didn’t deserve that . This literally breaks my heart she was struggling with her mental health so much and for him to use that against her ?? Disgusting , ugh I feel for her family I am so glad Elaine got justice !
You’re timing couldn’t be more perfect. I just finished the first part last night. God bless you for being being so fast and capable of displaying these cases to the public. You are beautiful and I love getting ready for my days with you and you’re completing research !!!
Thank you for covering this case. There have been several killers who used kink as an excuse for harming their victims and I hope people realize that true BDSM is 100% about consent and respecting boundaries. If you ignore those key parts you are nothing more than an abuser. Anyway, love your videos and the way you tell these stories!
Thanks for covering this case so well Eleanor. I'm a teacher and worked in a school in South Dublin for a while in 2015 where Elaine had previously worked. At the beginning of the school year, they said prayers for her. From what I was told, she was a vulnerable woman who just wanted companionship. Such a sad case and goes to show that there are some truly horrific people out there. RIP Elaine.
Vulnerable people are SO at risk of this kind of thing. Even if they feign consent and that they comprehend what's being 'asked' of them. Things like this should not be so accessible without MUCH more of some form of vetting process
Why would they find such a finding invalid? Here in the United states. They catch a lot of liars / murders by tracking their cell phones. I believe in it. Any way technology they can use to catch a monster should be used. He was a monster.
@@samarahaq4958 I dont believe this monster knows reality. Anyone with those kind of fantasies no . I don't know much about that life style. Except I dont think they use knives, and I sure as hell would not be part of it. Unless I was the master the man locked up in some cage . Not by no means making fun or making jokes about what she endured. This was sad and hard case to listen to.
There are too many unknown questions that we don't know while I'm glad he is in prison for murder I also think gives amrica & other country's A new reason to want to regulated capitlisem to a two digit system
This reminds me of the Grace Milane case here in New Zealand (killer used BDSM as a defence). Would love for you to cover that case or the Gable Tostee case (Australian case, not BDSM but lots of really fascinating material). Love your work!
The police investigation on this case was awesome!!! RIP Elaine. I myself have depressiona and get suicidal sometimes and totally understand the urge to live besides the wish to die :( You told the story amazingly well, Eleanor! Thank you
Chill out, what ya yellin' for? Lay back, it's all been done before. And if you could only let it be, you will see that I am the funniest YouT*ber of all time. Admit it, my dear follow*r jas
Either way his Appeal won’t go through. Here in the United States even if a new “Proposal” bout let’s say Graham’s appeal process bout a “New Law” hear in the U.S it goes into effect then n there, past convictions don’t matter, n I’m hoping it’s like that in Ireland yo. That dood is a piece of work n if he was here in the US in prison. Lol hahaha well let’s just say he would be calling a whole click of men “MASTER” n he would be the “Slave”. Thank u for your content esa. Giving Mike from That Chapter a run for his money yo. Hahahaha. Keep killin it locita. Be safe n healthy 🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽💪🏽
I love how Eleanor is so respectful and sensitive when she does these videos, it feels so much more authentic then other true crime youtubers who do full faces of make up while talking about horrific crimes
I’m WAYYYYY to much like Elaine from the bpd (borderline personality disorder) to the many suicide attempts and hospitalizations and the self harm and body covered in scars were like the same person I see myself in this situation It scares me
The fact no one ever thought this man was capable of anything like this he had a wife and kids and an amazing job to me thats the scariest thing .. it breaks my heart to see soneone so insecure and hate themselves and their life to become prey to someone i wish soneone could if just hugged her and told her shes worth it her life is worth fighting for .. i hope this man sits in there and rots away
The green river killer had a wife and think a kid too and he was capable of murder and Ted Bundy (Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer tv show) who played him in the movie said the killer would be someone with a family so most times it's obvious a man with a wife or kids or both can be a obvious killer and they use the family as a cover to hide it think no one would suspect them as the killer and get away with it
Eleanor did you know Graham is trying to get off the murder charge by trying to say that the police illegally got his phone data and is trying to go to the European courts to get the charges dropped. so frustrating and ridiculous. I really hope they don't let him out ..
You are literally my favorite TH-camr. Found you in 2019, liked your accent and became a fan because of the way you respect others and cover these cases. You’re my fav Eleanor, stay safe
Same! I sincerely hope you both start to feeling better & having a better day & night. It sucks being down some times, but it makes me appreciate good days more. Sending love to y'all💕
you’ve been absolutely glowing in all videos, we can see the inner work ya doing darling!!! i’ve watched you for a very long time, pretty much since the beginning so seeing you grow this big is so heartwarming!!
usually I listen to true crime YT videos before going to bed but this story literally hit me so hard. I can tell how Elaine felt seemingly perfectly and it was so real. Heartbreaking to say the least. Stay safe everyone. This is a true disgrace to the BDSM community.
If that dog hadn’t found those remains, her death would probably still be believed to be a suicide.
They probably still would've found the things in the river and identified Elaine. I don't know the possibility of the bones being found though
Sorry for my bad English it isn't my first language
@@agoosekilledme6283 your english was amazing don't worry
Maybe or someone else would’ve found them who knows
@@agoosekilledme6283 literally didn't even know English wasn't your first language from reading the first part of your comment, your English is amazing and you've got nothing to apologize for 👌🏽
@@agoosekilledme6283 Your English is better than mine, well done xx
Thankfully with a Google search it has been comfirmed that Dywer's appeal was dismissed by Court of Appeal on March of 2023! RIP Elaine
thank you for commenting this!
Thank you! I came to the comments looking for this exactly!
Thank you, I too scrolled comments to see if anyone had that update....it would be terrifying to think he could get out....what an awful creature!
Consent is huge in the BDSM community. This was just cruel & calculated abuse. Absolutely heartbreaking.
I 100% agree. He took advantage of a vulnerable person and slapped the label of bsdm over it. He puts a bad name on it all.
if you dont mind, Could you explain what BDSM means?
And yeah I couldn’t agree more
@@Its_Aliyahhh it’s a term for a variety of sexual power roleplay with consensual participants that can be broken into different groups (bondage-discipline + sadomasochism)
@@deludedpup Ohh, Thank you so much
The fact this guy has two daughters is terrifying
@Juan manuel Pilo I think they meant that how endangered they were and what could’ve happened to them. Imagine finding this out about your own father
@Juan manuel Pilo bro because their dad has a horrible hidden personality, if Elaine got treated like that by him then who knows the danger that the children could be in
@Juan manuel Pilo if u think about it if the childrens dad us capable of that what do u think he could do to the children
@Juan manuel Pilo dont defend a murderer
@Juan manuel Pilo your saying he couldnt hurt his children in anyway even tho hes capable of murdering someone
in another universe, Elaine is a primary school teacher and has a loving husband at home that's into kinky things :( she might be gone but she inspired me to be more, she studied in her mid 30's, and I always felt like it is too late for me to go to uni at 25. Thank you Elaine, I will go study pedagogy for me and for you!
Good luck 😊 mum got here degree at 39! Never to late
Hey, my mum also had 4 kids and then went to Uni at early 30s, she's now a Sister Nurse and living her best life, you got this
my mom is 52 and got her degree in nursing and substitute teaching. never too late!
I'll be 33 in a month and I just went back to college to study counselling after raising 4 kids (youngest is 5) I'll be going to uni next year. Go for it!
awe this made me smile so much
I don't know who needs to hear this, but BDSM without consent is just abuse. And coerced consent is manipulation, not consent. It is so sad that this vulnerable woman fell prey to this sick, abusive man.
Coerced consent is considered r*pe or sexual assault
I knew a guy who was a “master”. I asked him if the women were mentally sound. Nope, he answered.
say it louder for the people in the back!!!!!
@Katie A dm z zzz n
Reminder to all: Any gender can fall victim to this.
It is so refreshing to listen to a true crime case where the police actually did a great job. Too frequently you hear about the police dropping the ball but they really smashed it here. RIP Elaine
Especially when they realized she might've been suicidal and that made them jump into action, in stead of dismissing the case because of this.
FR
i personally wouldnt consider their work great in this case, because, although having access to it, they didnt check elaines laptop until her bones were found. the later work (once they found out it wasnt a suicide) was a lot better, but in the beginning they couldve done so much more
This case made me really sad. She was trying to better her life get better. She was so brave to admit herself to hospital. I havent felt this sad since the gemma hayter case.
Right? I was thinking about Gemma's case too as I was watching this. Just heart breaking ☹☹😢😢😥😥
@@nolusizodlalisa5573 it really is. It makes ne super sad 😢😢
Yeah, this one was sad like Gemma's since they were so vulnerable and just wanted love.
Make sure you take care of yourself if true crime starts to affect you, sometimes I can get too deep and need a breather. I don’t want to sound like a mum but I know for me sometimes I can get in too deep and it starts to affect me mentally
@@hollyg9589 thanks for the reminder :( this case dug really deep into me, especially by how much i related with elaine (with the depression and suicide. i also delved into bdsm for a bit but stopped after they threatened to kill my family)
It always scares me out how NORMAL these people look from the outside. A married architect with two kids who flies model airplanes on the weekends? Idk what exactly I expect from bdsm murderers...but not that.🤨
People are multi faceted like a cube with different faces. You see what they present to you. You do this, everyone does this. Anyone can be a murder
The best monsters hide in plain sight. Unfortunately there are millions more like him.
@@Queenofthatank Yes, and probably millions more undetected or even undiscovered victims (or victims passed off as accident/misadventure/suicide, etc, as in Elaine's case.) Frightening. These 'things', with their Hellish 'squirming brains' go un~noticed amongst us, almost passing as Human Beings...
@@Queenofthatank yeah :( its disturbing to think that this kind of thing happens so often and sometimes so close to you. one day a friend of a friend could be on the news for a murder and you never would've guessed. this world is truly terrifying, enough that im often scared to go out places alone in broad daylight. this case makes me sick.
I go door to door for charity and I'm always shocked at how many people leave their door open when they go back inside to get cash, BECAUSE I LOOK TRUSTWORTHY! So do most successful criminals, or they wouldn't be successful.
Shoutout to the officers who tackled this case! I wish law enforcement worked this hard for every case.
Exactly , if in all cases the law enforcement worked this hard . All the years people spent wondering who killed their loved ones , would be gone.
exactly it’s so different in American than in Ireland, wish America had a better police system
My husband is an Irish Defence Counsel and I was watching this while cleaning my makeup brushes (not realising he was listening too 😅😂) he said you explained that last legal point really well, he piped up when you said you hoped you explained it correctly. This was so respectful how you explained this case, Elaine deserved so much more 😓
OK quick question for your husband then... If it was legal then does he think he will get a retrial or will even matter, as in if he gets one does he think he will get off?
@@jenniferpayne3202 ugh I hope not! I just can't even fathom this disgusting man being free again!
Thank you for reminding me that I need to clean mine haha
Wow how awesome, hope she read your comment.
@@jenniferpayne3202 the very very short answer is that if the evidence concerning the phones was unconstitutionally obtained which I think it was, then he might be entitled to have his conviction overturned (but he might not because one of the things the Supreme Court has asked the European Court of Justice is can this apply to cases going forward only ). If he is subject to a retrial then his lawyers will attempt to prevent that trial from proceeding on the basis that the publicity this has received means he couldn’t receive a fair trial. He might actually have a point because the case has been covered world wide. I doubt there are many people in Ireland that haven’t heard of it. If it goes to a retrial I don’t know. The best evidence in the case could be missing. I think it’s a much more difficult case to bring home without it.
This case always hurts my heart. She was so vulnerable in many ways.
And she suffered so much, went through so much. This case absolutely heart breaking.
@@khadyadjisall5708 It really is so sad. He basically groomed her in my opinion. She seemed to be in such a bad mental place at the time, unable to consent to anything.
Can u find the court video on TH-cam
@@tianipurville3768 Court video? What do you mean?
Eleanor trying to pronounce that dudes fake name has me dying.😂
And Mister (Master) cause it sounded like a American accent a bit to me- caught me off guard
It's the pronunciation if Nokia for me lmao
Mr. Baboon Caisholm!
@@jessymoore9745 The pronounciation of Nokia was actually spot on 😄
Thats how we say Nokia in the UK 😂
The part where she says “I love making people happy” 😭 she deserved so much more
@Monah Zaini girl what...
@Monah Zaini first of all, last I checked, he was the one who actually cheated on his wife, so he’s just as guilty on that if not more. second, because she had an affair, you think she deserved to be tortured and murdered? girl, you are sick. seriously, get help. can’t believe you’re being a pick me for a murdering abuser
@Monah Zaini ?????? wtf is wrong with you
@Monah Zaini She got murdered dude, what the fuck. Also regarding their texts, do you understand how being in a manipulative and abusive relationship works? The whole point is that she is supposed to just listen to him and do what he wants.
@@keelinmacken9552 wait what did they say
"The phone pinged all the way on the other side of the country!"
Eleanor: shows a map 2 hours distance
Me: screams uneducated confusion in Texan
As someone who is currently driving through Texas, I concur.
i know right!
I cant quite wrap my head around how big America is. Im in the North East, and its like a 6 hour drive to London from here, and that seems like so far away. Texas must just be.... really can't even conceptualise it! 🖤🖤
😂 Texas is absurdly huge
I feel you! Lol Same thing in California.
Eleanor: “His life was pretty boring, all he did was go to and from work”
Me ( a person who goes to and from work everyday): 🙁
Capitalism is beautiful xo
If you’re happy with that then it’s not boring to you. I myself don’t particularly enjoy going out, I am a homebody, and so is my hubby, so, works for us.
im pretty sure she meant in the context of someone who is into all the bdsm, chatroom, murdering stuff kinda things.
Same and does nothing but recoup, clean, and do nothing on the weekends bc I'm literally too exhausted
I have my job I have to go to and even more importantly my fur babies to go home too
I feel really bad for the wife, I always wonder how do the murderers family/partners ever trust anyone again, it must be really traumatising and just awful.
He’s trying to overturn his conviction by saying the police invaded his privacy 🙄 good grief he’s pathetic. He’s also suing the phone company for not protecting his data.
That's funny because the phone company owns the data and he doesn't understand this
@@ncisfan1002 that’s what I thought but I guess Ireland has some law that he’s saying they broke. I’m not entirely sure. I don’t understand all lingo they use.
Typical psychopath.
Not Ireland’s the Gardai broke eu laws by doing this and we are bound by them
@@ranna_mc can you explain what the Gardai is? I really want to understand.
This is terrifying because I lived it. I went into this video unprepared… my ex treated me the exact same way. Kink I wasn’t okay with ended up having to be okay because he wanted it. He cut his initials into my thigh. Whenever I became suicidal he said he’d be happy to kill me. He planned a school shooting when he was in high school, before we met, and told me all about it. He said he didn’t think he could go through life without killing someone at least once. When I tried to kill myself without him, he kicked me out.
I’m doing better now. Still in therapy, still learning to live with all of it. God, poor Elaine… you can’t see it when you’re in it. It feels like you’re being loved in this unique way that nobody else can even begin to touch. Like if you leave then nobody will ever love you again.
Please, if any of this feels familiar to you at all, RUN. Drop everything. Give up everything. Get the fuck out of there. There are so many of these monsters out there.
I’m so glad that you got out. ❤️
“like if you leave then nobody will ever love you again” that’s how i feel right now. my boyfriend isn’t abusive, but i just don’t feel the same about him. i don’t want to make him sad by leaving him.
@@emilymetrik4044 his sadness isn’t your responsibility. Yours is
It’s creepy how many people have lived this kind of life and so many people don’t know that side of the abuser, they see an entirely different person. My ex was like that too, it was terrifying. He ignored my consent all the time, thankfully when he started mentioning knife play and wanting to cut me I stood firm against it. Anyone in these situations will one day be killed if they don’t get out, and I truly hope everyone experiencing these things gets out before it’s too late
He planned a school shooting???? Did you report him?
"If it makes him happy, it makes me happy" are not the words of someone who is genuinely okay with what's being done to them. It's the words of someone who feels like they can't say no.
I also feel like a perfect demonstration of the sheer contrast between these two people's intentions and characters is that Elaine's deepest desire was to cherish a life, while "David's" desire was to end one. It sums up the power imbalance pretty concisely.
I’m shocked your coving this Irish Case!Elaine was my play school teacher/helper !
She was incredible at her job, Don’t let her personal life take away from her work! She was kind and quiet and had a hard life!
May she rest in peace 🙏🏻
I love hearing things like this because people hear the things the victim did in their personal life and it suddenly changes their perception of that person, and that's so wrong. Remember them as the person you knew, their personal life shouldn't change the good memories.
she was mine as well !! :( she was so funny, and for school discos she dressed up as abanana :(( she was so fun
Thank you for sharing. Eleanor channel always knows there is much more than the one part of a victims lifestyle and Eleanor made sure to let everyone know that Elaine was sweet caring lady who loved kids she is great for reminding followers about the victims and all involved in the cases she covers
@@mellohighh it’s so incredible to hear personal stories from these videos. i’m sorry for your loss, both of you. may she rest in peace.
I'm of the belief that all consenting adults should be free of judgements of their fetish or kink. It should be between them and their partners, and other peoples opinion about whether or not it's actually arousing has no relevance or place in the conversation..... yet that seems to be where most of the judgements come from. "I don't find that arousing therefore is weird to me that anybody else could". But as long as it's between consenting adults and it's a mutual desire that is practiced safely there shouldn't be an issue. 🤷♀️ With that said, this was clearly not consensual, yet it does point out some of the dangers of BDSM. Not everyone in the scene is there with the right intentions and it can attract people who don't intend to continue with consent. I think he prayed on her fetish with the disguise of it being role-playing. Saying it was at all her responsibility to help him not murder was so incredibly manipulative and wrong. That's on him and he shouldn't be even engaging in BDSM if he didn't trust himself. Trust is huge. People like him give fetishes, especially BDSM such a bad rap, but the reality is that he's not into BDSM, he's into abuse, SA, and murder. Totally 100% not related.
No he's right, he's not part of the BDSM scene, he's part of the abuse scene.
BDSM only works and exists with consent, trust, mutual understanding and equal respect for each person involved in the activities.
Graham only saw Elaine as a tool.
Exactly. He used a facade of bdsm to find someone who was struggling that he could manipulate. Puts a bad name on it all.
beautifully said BDSM er intercourse in general is only okay and fun if ALL participants are consenting!!!!!!
Exactly. One of the main rules to BDSM is that all parties are consenting. Otherwise, you're just an abuser trying to use BDSM as an excuse.
He is part of the murderer scene.
Don't forget being a total creep, that's a big part of its existence too
“my knowledge does not go beyond murder and crystals” same, Eleanor, same
fr i felt that on a personal level
@@izzlefrizzle662 me too😭
Yes I feel the same way
Add my tarot decks to the list and I’m in the same boat🥲
@@ris8065 same! forgot about tarot in my previous reply
How he reacted to her suicide attempt really just get me beyond any word that comes after angry and I cannot grasp how there actually are people like this walking the same planet as us.
i cant stop thinking about the fact if that officer wasn’t on a walk and saw the flying airplane competition that it would have taken even longer to find who the murderer was. I find it very fascinating how lucky it was he went on that walk on that day and how years later that very piece of information would help solve a murder. interesting to think about. amazing video
fr!
@@malak-dq3kg I piece of "luck", that for surely will be used by his lawyers in the appeal case, claiming his innocence in murder.
"The Nokia was born..." I thought we were gonna get a historical breakdown & origin story of the invention of Nokias in the middle of a true crime story. Had a terrible day in work today and I needed that laugh 😅😆
Hope your day is going better!!
@@0003alp thanks 😊 the day always gets better when Eleanor uploads. Hope you had a good day today.
two years later but i hope ur day today is better!
Nobody:
Eleanore: I'm so sorry to all the Gurums.
Then goes on a lil tangent
I don't think this is a case of consensuel bdsm or even bdsm .. he just prayed upon someone who he felt is weak and vulnerable ... so sad!
It isn't at all, this is just a man who wanted to take advantage of someone and did not care about their boundaries in the slightest. Some people use kink to justify their abuse but it doesn't make it alright.
my thoughts exactly. this wasn’t kink//BDSM non-consensual BDSM//KINK is just torture, kidnapping, abuse, etc. consent is an absolutely crucial, vital element of kink.
just like if you take the informed consent out of polyamory//non-monogamy it’s just…cheating. 💁🏾♀️
exactly. bdsm is ALL about informed consent, trust and respecting each other's limits.
@Juan manuel Pilo please look up the definition for consent. This is mind numbingly moronic.
i’m so tired of these fake doms pressuring their subs into things they’ve literally laid boundaries out for. if you don’t have consent, it’s abuse!
The one female friend I know who was into BDSM left the scene because, apparently, a lot of doms have that problem sadly.
Me too. I just watched s video of a "findom" on a swing kicking the sub in the face every swing, laughing her ass off. It was most definitely abuse and how happy she was doing it was sick.
The scene has changed so much. Nothing like it used to be. Sad
Can we just appreciate how amazing these police officers were? Like they made sure they had absolutely everything they could before making an arrest, they went above and beyond to give Justice ❤️
Even if he hadn’t done it, he still belonged in jail. He was an abusive sicko and was clearly attempting murder. It wouldn’t be surprising if he felt that if he got her to consent to letting him kill her, it wouldn’t count as murder.
His narcissistic azz probably thought that frfr
@Juan manuel Pilo she clearly expressed not wanting to be killed, stabbed, bleed: any of those things. but due to extremely low self esteem and manipulation she felt as if she had no other choice than to go and please him. when someone is in an extremely vulnerable state, it's so easy to manipulate them to get what you want and you can see how she is scared but stays because she wants to make him 'happy'. he is sick in the head and took advantage of elaine and murdered her. if you think she wanted this i recommend you watch again and have a very deep think about your morals.
I think the fact that he even wanted to kill a woman should be prison worthy. The fact that he wanted it so bad he did so much to go through with it just makes it worse, but the fact that these ideas were in his mind in the first place is fucking abnormal and a serious problem.
@@user-xf7qz1bx5b but she could possibly have saved her own life if she had told the police about his plan to kill a real estate agent
It is absolutely heartbreaking that every time Elaine felt as though she was getting to the point to do another suicide atempt she would put herself in hospital but this evil man still took her life. She fought so hard to stay alive every day and this man took full advantage of her and manipulated her into death. I wonder if her mentality the last time she admitted herself was because he was so persistant in telling her that she did want to die.
Agreed. When you are suicidal and someone is basically begging in a dominate, evil, demonic, forceful, manipulative way to kill you…. I’m sure that just tears apart the remaining part of ur mental health
Yeah, it’s absolutely harrowing. She did everything she could with her limited resources to build herself up and get back on track, it’s just devastating that this monster ultimately used her insecurities and good nature to kill her. RIP Elaine ❤️
Bdsm with an unconsenting person is not bdsm. It's a sexuel assault. Elaine seemed to be such a gente soul. I really hate how most of the victims in these videos were always nice people.
She wasn't that gentle a soul with pictures of dead people on her laptop and sleeping with married men.
@@butterbean3892 how do you feel now I really wanna know. Did that make you feel better?
@@butterbean3892 yeah that wasn’t her best moment
@@bartholomewpinecone6562 What are you on about? All I did was state 2 pretty clear facts from the video. I'm not the one with pictures of corpses on my laptop or boning another womans husband. Does the truth always make you so uncomfortable?
@@kellysehoun Still such a sad story and she definitely didn't deserve what that awful man put her through. But imagine how the parents of the children she cares for felt finding out she has dead bodies on their laptop. Not the best!
✨Friendly reminder that BDSM without consent is just abuse✨
This police work was INCREDIBLE. I wish American police could do anything like this.
We need to stop believing that just because someone is married, has a good job, has kids, etc. means that they are trustworthy and a good person. That belief is why so many vulnerable people end up being manipulated. SO many of these true crime stories begin with someone trusting another person all because they’re rich, married, kids, job
The way he talks to her is exactly the same way 30 year olds spoke to me when I was 14. why do these men exist 🤢
omfg i hope ur in a good mental state at least
same!
We aren't kink shaming and man shaming enough 😔
This case is painful, your can tell how much her soul was hurting In her life, she didn't deserve this.
@Monah Zaini darling you've been trying to argue with every single person in this comment section. cut it out, you're not impressing anyone.
@Monah Zaini I have no clue why people are so mad at what you said. It’s clear she got help multiple times and the healthcare system is at a higher level than many other countries. We are very privileged to have healthcare services where other countries do not. The country you mentioned doesn’t have good healthcare is completely true.
Elaine was not well and she did get help but unfortunately external factors led her astray. The man that did what he did to her took advantage of her, the doctors did what they could for her while they had the opportunities.
Graham denying everything is funny to me cause it’s like that Patrick meme, the bad guy is like “these texts are from you. This footage is of you, these other texts are from you. This footage has your face in it, right there. So this has to be you.” And he looks at them like “no that’s not me.” Guys a fucking idiot.
That’s not my wallet 😂
It's actually horribly smart. Confessing only helps during court trial. If you confess to anything during investigation - it doesn't actually gives u any benefits but incriminates you more. Too bad he knew that & that he is kind of smart - almost got away with it. But thank God the police did a fantastic job here. And its as if universe wanted justice for Elaine - the draught that caused those boys to fish out all that evidence from the reservoir. The dog that kept bringing human bones for a month. The right policemen that were determined to dig out the truth. Even the Nokia phones that just turned on magically after being underwater for over a year.
The irony behind Elaine wanting to bring a life into the world, whilst David wants too take one out
It’s the little light relief I enjoy. Garoon Caisholn is not an Irish name. It’s totally made up that I can tell ☘️
I was thinking that myself especially since she said she googled it and didn't get any hits lol
Oh my gosh! That's so funny. I was thinking of you when she said that and was wondering what you would say if she asked you! Lol I had no idea you'd commented already. 😂
Isn’t every name a made up name
I’m Irish too and when did Eleanor say it was an Irish name? Literally has nothing to do with Irish names it was just made up
Eleanor basically said it was a made up name lol, she never said it was Irish but ok??
I can’t get over Graham using the primary phones when the burners are *right there*. Smart my foot! Beyond impressive police work in this one, I was so very satisfied with it.
I feel like one of the key parts of a healthy BDSM relationship is that the dom needs to respect the Subs boundaries… clearly he didn’t from the jump.
Not even just that, you have to watch out for the person's potentially impaired judgement in subspace / with endorphins / etc. I'm a switch and both people who sub to me have a physical disability* and will accidentally hurt themselves if I don't stay on top of the situation (no pun intended) and manage their positioning etc. In particular their hips kept dislocating from too enthusiastic of a "mating press" position, lol. (Pardon the name, I didn't name it that.)
*Note: I have the same disability as them and we've been together 10 years so I know what will harm them in particular. An abled person should never override a disabled person's bodily behavior without prior discussion for safety.
There IS no healthy BDSM relationship. Both people are usually very damaged by their childhoods.
@@Queen-of-Swords Hahaha.....ok then. Glad the designated internet therapist is here to save the day. 🙄 Stay out of other people's bedrooms please.
@@Queen-of-Swords there absolutely is, what are you talking about. everything is possible if its about two consenting adults. Which is obviously not the case here
@@Queen-of-Swords Also, literally any turn on can become unhealthy. Finding boobs attractive is unhealthy if you treat all women like objects and don't look them in the eye or don't take their pleasure into account in the bedroom. And there can also be very healthy ways to have an outlet for stuff you're working out that may be from an unhealthy childhood. BDSM CAN be an outlet, when done correctly though it can be a healthy outlet, and it's not always the case. Plus correlation doesn't equal causation, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mental health. There's no possible way to make the claim that this is accurate, unless everyone who practices BDSM consented to disclose their life and submit it for data and it was compared to every other adult in the world who also submitted everything about their sex lives and childhood for the purpose of data. Any data collected on the topic is from people who are choosing to go to therapy. So this is basically just saying everyone in therapy has issues they need to work out. 🤷♀️🤣 We all have human issues and we all find ways to deal, and BDSM is most certainly not unhealthy by nature. That's just a really weird thing to say because I can't think of why it's a bad thing if the people involved are enjoying it and getting something out of it. Ok, that is all......lol.
lemme be y’all’s bdsm auntie for a sec:
the dom only ever has as much control as the sub gives them. the sub sets boundaries and the dom can play within those boundaries, not the other way around. talking about limits is ALWAYS necessary before doing rougher stuff. even if it’s just a one night thing. it’s important to talk about those things so everyone can have a safe experience. so remember, the sub is supposed to be the one who’s actually in control and if you don’t feel like you can have your dom stop anytime you want, it’s not bdsm, its r4pe. don’t be afraid to get out of toxic situations, i promise that what will happen if you stay is much scarier. stay safe everyone ❤️
I was about to comment this! The sub is in control and the dom is supposed to ALWAYS listen and respect boundaries!!!
Preach bdsm auntie, preach!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you ^^^^
🖤🖤🖤
@Monah Zaini no creepy pics for me. This comment is very true, been in the scene for almost 15 yrs, and I'm a switch hitter, so I've seen both sides. The sub is the one with the real control, in a real BDSM situation.
I feel so sad for Elaine this was apart of her life she obviously wanted noone to know about and now its talked about worldwide😪
I'd be so upset thinking my deepest secrets were shared after I died.
RIP Elaine
This is true but thankfully we know about that monster Graham who should never see the light of day again.
I find it so insane what police can do with such little information, literally amazing
My jaw dropped as well! They did a really insane job!
Thank God that Ireland has so many security cameras.
Eleanor: Notifies
Everyone: *CLICKS
Kabayan akala ko ako lang nagfafang girl kay eleanor 😁
Holy shit you comment so much on this channel
There are a lot of crime story tellers on TH-cam but Eleanor is in a league of her own. Has great connectivity to her cases and reports on them so well.
ooooof the fact that there’s a possibility he could go free makes me ache terribly. please keep us updated eleanor. amazing coverage as usual.
Really?? Omg. If this man is released someday, that is the day I will move out of europe and back with my parents no matter how old I am
I know this is a late update, but I just looked it up. Recent news says that he has exhausted all attempts to appeal his sentencing, and will continue his life sentence. There was even a female visitor that has been banned from visiting him (she claims she only visited to hear his side of the story on how the courts treated him, but she was banned for not falling under the required degree of friend or family that are allowed to visit)
Everybody needs to hear this; the motto of BDSM is "safe, sane, and consensual", if whatever you are participating isn't consensual or has a safe word (ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY IN BDSM SCENARIOS!), then it is just abuse and unsafe and you must get out of there as soon as you can!
Hell, even CNC (consensual non-consent, rape roleplay) has safe words and are never meant to endanger anyone involved and is all consensual ! please, i'm begging you all to practice safe, sane, and consensual sex even outside of BDSM. Stay safe everybody.
@@kaijuteeth so to cope with being raped you want to pretend to rape other people? No offence but it just sounds like a way to get away with being a rapist without going to jail for it
@@toby2645 do you...understand what rape is? the fact theres a lack of consent in any shape? youre literally just being ignorant if you don't understand what rapeplay or cnc is and think that way. its a common way of coping and therapists recognize that, it isnt rape or "pretending to rape", its consensual, safe, and sane. the only thing is its a roleplay of sorts and the people involved have the power to stop at anytime with their own safewords or safe actions.
rapists get away all the time with being rapists, there is no control for the victim and they are left feeling traumatized and powerless after the event. so some victims instead take their partner whom they TRUST AND CONSENT TO play a role but still have the knowledge they can stop the scene at any time because its SAFE AND CONSENSUAL. things that actual rape isnt.
also a lot of cnc isnt "pretending to rape other people", people who use cnc to cope play the role as the victim usually and use it to feel some sort of power in a situation that left them powerless. (when they are raped, there is no power left at all and there is no consent or feeling of safety. during cnc, they have safewords and safe actions to indict they want to stop the scene entirely to their partner who they feel safe with and consent to sex with.)
@@kaijuteeth if rape play isn’t rape then why tf is it called that? Also give me a link to where therapists support pretending to rape people to feel control again, it’s not my fault that as a victim of SA I don’t understand the point of wanting to re-live a traumatic experience but in the role of the person who did it
@@sholomoone youtube deleted my original comment for editing so im replying again. oopsie !
while we may not think its normal or feel shame for it, having rape fantasies as a survivor or even not a survivor is normal, i linked a vice article talking abt it in other comments here, but we use this as a way to regain power and ALWAYS have it be safe, sane, and consensual. we have safe words and systems in place, we have total control over the situation in what originally would be a traumatizing and horrific situation in order to reclaim and empower ourselves.
please educate yourself, it can seem wrong and you in no way have to suddenly open up completely to the idea it exists, but dont shame people who use it to cope
@@ms.annthropic6341 ....you do realize plenty of SA survivors participate in CNC as a way of taking back power of their trauma and are validated / advised by their therapists because THEY ARE in control now. they can say the safe word and it'll stop. its interesting to look into which is why i mention it, CNC is only really ever seen in SA victims but even then its a controlled scenario and isn't actual rape because there are precautions taken. its okay if thats not your cup of tea, but dont call other SA survivors vile for trying to take back power. therapists actually DO recommend it or recommend writing about it, its always to survivors who are in committed relationships ( and people in general in committed relationships. these are all scenes) and i wont deny that there are creeps and predators, but thats in every community too and we cant do too much about it but warn others to try and stop them from harming other members. its sad but true. Ive seen this as someone in many different communities, especially the furry community.
your opinion is valid, but dont invalidate others who see it as a form of escapism and can differentiate between rape and roleplay where they still have power to say stop through the safeword or safe gesture. in another reply i talk more in-depth from sexologists and such so please take a look.
my name is gemma and hearing someone as important to me as ellie saying my name so many times just made me so happy. it's such an uncommon name, and it never happens so it's so special, thanks ellie.
I love how in you intros you care about the views & ask them to click off if this may distress them. I never need to click off, but this is a nice touch. Thank you for being so nice & caring.
Every time you said, "Mster" or "Slv" I laughed so hard. Not a funny case at all, but man those moments cracked me up.
Same, my dude
I know this is a serious video, and I respect that, but Eleanor was extra cute today. Just the mannerisms and some things she said. Eleanor can talk about the darkest stuff and still completely lift my spirits!
She’s glowing inside and out
i was thinking she was extra cute today. it was refreshing to see all of the little things that weren’t edited out! i love the more wholesome and down to earth side of her as well as the professional side.
I thought she was way too giddy / jolly / sassy telling this story. I mean these are real life murders and she’s telling it like it’s a fun story. I was quite eerie in my opinion. I do like her tho
I thought she was way too giddy / jolly / sassy telling this story. I mean these are real life murders and she’s telling it like it’s a fun story. I was quite eerie in my opinion. I do like her tho
Hearing Eleanor giggle as she says, 'Mster and Slv", was too funny. It's the only lighthearted element in this case.
This poor woman, I hope her family is able to at least rest easier knowing the sick person who killed her is caught.
Shout out to the Irish police for actually doing a good job! There were many people involved in this case that did a really good job.
Can we all agree how hilarious Eleanor is? OMG she has me rolling.
I thought it was just me having just finished a night shift but l am so glad it wasn't. She was in fine form today 😍
@@felicitymcconville4322 totally agree. Just Eleanor being Eleanor and they didn't edit it out. Love it!
Edit: typo
This doesn't pertain to the video, but if Eleanor could share this story. A girl named Jennifer Caridad has been missing from Sunnyside, WA since August. She was last seen with her ex boyfriend Aurelio Escobar. Her ex went on a crime spree through Washington state and into Oregon that ended in a shoot out with police in Medford, Oregon. During this crime spree he stole Jennifer's parents car. The car was later recovered close to a lake in Yakima, WA with a significant amount of blood in the back seat. Jennifer's clothes and some belonging were also found at said lake. Jennifer Caridad has been missing since August and the police have given up on finding her.
That’s so sad 😢
Omg 🥺
th-cam.com/video/7z7nNzRtGvE/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for sharing this🥺so sad💔
Yeah good case but we read this in part 1.
I literally let out an excited 'yes!' when I saw this notification! Perfect timing :,) Sending you lots of positivity, Eleanor! Thank you for all the effort and consideration you put into your videos
As someone who's dealt with suicidal thoughts before and has attempted, the fact that she was strong enough to place herself in a mental hospital when she felt it was getting bad again and knew that she had to get better is so inspiring. She never really wanted to die, she just wanted to grow and become a stronger person, she was so strong even moments before she went.
I know that in another universe she's a great teacher with a loving family and spends time doing what she loves. I hope she rests in peace.
In case anyone wants an update on Dwyer's appeal that was mentioned: he won the case about the phone data being inadmissible, but due to the huge amount of other evidence, that didn't amount to a miscarriage of justice and the verdict was upheld.
Thank you!
For everyone confused about the Gurum thing, I’m not sure if this was maybe a typo on whatever source Eleanor was reading from but the guys alias name was Gordon Chisolm lol
what guy? Gurus was the alias name, right?
@@hellaSwankkyToo yes
1. Loving the new intro format.
2. THANK YOU for putting the second part so fast. Watched the first part last night before bed and I was here suffering because I wanted part 2 ASAP.
Eleanor is so respectful & kind not only to the victims & their families, but to those of us who have certain trauma & can’t watch.
She’s absolutely my favourite TH-camr 🥺
It’s utterly terrifying how normal he looks and seems 🥲
According to the Irish Examiner: "The trial later heard that the name Garoon Caisholm was a variation of the name Gordon Chisholm, an acquaintance of Dwyer’s."
You should make a playlist on your channel of cases that don't have sexual abuse themes, a lot of true crime cases have them so having a spot where people can binge watch your videos but that don't have any sexual assault might be a good place to send people when you give the warnings at the beginning
She gives warnings. This video is involves bdsm....just watch the ones that dont have it.
@@scenesterstar That was my point. You don't know what cases don't have it until you start watching the video which might leave some people to clicking a bunch if videos before they find one that they can watch
@@augusthawley5504 she starts off every video with a TW.
@@scenesterstar I know, but the TW still isn't until after the video starts. It was just a suggestion. She's not doing anything wrong, it just might be nice to have a playlist of cases that don't include sexual assault so you don't have to start a bunch of videos to find one if you want to/can watch a case. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal or anything
@@scenesterstar bruh big Oof on your part
Wow. I’m used to hearing cases with shoddy police work, but this is one case with excellent police work. They really pieced this one together and put a lot of effort in
even if a sub isn’t objecting, a good dom will always know that’s there’s a limit!
thanks for the update
i was pleasantly surprised and impressed with the police work on this case. even though the case went cold for about a year, the police were presented with a starting point and they worked hard, keeping momentum! this is the type of dedication that we need to see more of. R.I.P elaine, you were such a kind, beautiful woman. ❤️
That man is disgusting , this is truly heartbreaking she didn’t deserve that . This literally breaks my heart she was struggling with her mental health so much and for him to use that against her ?? Disgusting , ugh I feel for her family I am so glad Elaine got justice !
You’re timing couldn’t be more perfect. I just finished the first part last night. God bless you for being being so fast and capable of displaying these cases to the public. You are beautiful and I love getting ready for my days with you and you’re completing research !!!
Police work in this case is absolutely incredible
Only took them a year.
Thank you for covering this case. There have been several killers who used kink as an excuse for harming their victims and I hope people realize that true BDSM is 100% about consent and respecting boundaries. If you ignore those key parts you are nothing more than an abuser.
Anyway, love your videos and the way you tell these stories!
Thanks for covering this case so well Eleanor. I'm a teacher and worked in a school in South Dublin for a while in 2015 where Elaine had previously worked. At the beginning of the school year, they said prayers for her. From what I was told, she was a vulnerable woman who just wanted companionship. Such a sad case and goes to show that there are some truly horrific people out there. RIP Elaine.
This case has one of the most satisfying police, detective, and forensic work ever!
The fact that you’re able to make me laugh while telling a murder case just shows how well-humored you are! Thanks for another great video Eleanor!
Vulnerable people are SO at risk of this kind of thing. Even if they feign consent and that they comprehend what's being 'asked' of them. Things like this should not be so accessible without MUCH more of some form of vetting process
Why would they find such a finding invalid? Here in the United states. They catch a lot of liars / murders by tracking their cell phones. I believe in it. Any way technology they can use to catch a monster should be used. He was a monster.
@@samarahaq4958 I dont believe this monster knows reality. Anyone with those kind of fantasies no . I don't know much about that life style. Except I dont think they use knives, and I sure as hell would not be part of it. Unless I was the master the man locked up in some cage . Not by no means making fun or making jokes about what she endured. This was sad and hard case to listen to.
It’s because of GDPR
There are too many unknown questions that we don't know while I'm glad he is in prison for murder I also think gives amrica & other country's A new reason to want to regulated capitlisem to a two digit system
“My knowledge doesn’t go beyond murder and crystals”
Put that on your resume.
i love how respectful you are to the victims. your kindness really stands out
This reminds me of the Grace Milane case here in New Zealand (killer used BDSM as a defence). Would love for you to cover that case or the Gable Tostee case (Australian case, not BDSM but lots of really fascinating material). Love your work!
The Grace Milane case was on UK tv last night! I was glad that NZ has changed their laws to stop the BDSM excuse being used.
Omg an Eleanor Neale and Bailey Sarian video AND a murder with my husband podcast episode. Today is such a great day thank you all ❤️
Me too lol happy af
I know right??
Thank you for covering this case. It seems like Elaine struggled so much and it’s good that someone is giving her some love and attention.
The police investigation on this case was awesome!!!
RIP Elaine. I myself have depressiona and get suicidal sometimes and totally understand the urge to live besides the wish to die :(
You told the story amazingly well, Eleanor! Thank you
This wasn't BDSM-
It was a prelude to MURDER...
May you REST IN PEACE, Dearest Elaine...💞⚘💞
Just finished the last one, so keen to hear the rest of the case.
A little Monday true crime why not 😃
Chill out, what ya yellin' for? Lay back, it's all been done before. And if you could only let it be, you will see that I am the funniest YouT*ber of all time. Admit it, my dear follow*r jas
@@AxxLAfriku ?
Love the censoring not even offensive words 😩
Either way his Appeal won’t go through. Here in the United States even if a new “Proposal” bout let’s say Graham’s appeal process bout a “New Law” hear in the U.S it goes into effect then n there, past convictions don’t matter, n I’m hoping it’s like that in Ireland yo. That dood is a piece of work n if he was here in the US in prison. Lol hahaha well let’s just say he would be calling a whole click of men “MASTER” n he would be the “Slave”. Thank u for your content esa. Giving Mike from That Chapter a run for his money yo. Hahahaha. Keep killin it locita. Be safe n healthy 🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽💪🏽
WHAT.
I love how Eleanor is so respectful and sensitive when she does these videos, it feels so much more authentic then other true crime youtubers who do full faces of make up while talking about horrific crimes
I’m WAYYYYY to much like Elaine from the bpd (borderline personality disorder) to the many suicide attempts and hospitalizations and the self harm and body covered in scars were like the same person I see myself in this situation It scares me
how are you now
if you don't mind
I feel exactly the same. This one really got into my head because of it.
I hope you are much better now…
Oh gosh Louise don’t say that please, Be careful, remember if you’re gonna play play safe please!
me too. sending u love, i hope ur okay
The fact no one ever thought this man was capable of anything like this he had a wife and kids and an amazing job to me thats the scariest thing .. it breaks my heart to see soneone so insecure and hate themselves and their life to become prey to someone i wish soneone could if just hugged her and told her shes worth it her life is worth fighting for .. i hope this man sits in there and rots away
The green river killer had a wife and think a kid too and he was capable of murder and Ted Bundy (Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer tv show) who played him in the movie said the killer would be someone with a family so most times it's obvious a man with a wife or kids or both can be a obvious killer and they use the family as a cover to hide it think no one would suspect them as the killer and get away with it
The police work on this case is so satisfying it all falls into place before you even have a question to ask
Eleanor did you know Graham is trying to get off the murder charge by trying to say that the police illegally got his phone data and is trying to go to the European courts to get the charges dropped. so frustrating and ridiculous. I really hope they don't let him out ..
Ya she says that in the video lol
yeah she says that
"My knowledge doesn't really go farther than murder and crystals" -I've never related to anything more
You are literally my favorite TH-camr. Found you in 2019, liked your accent and became a fan because of the way you respect others and cover these cases. You’re my fav Eleanor, stay safe
Great police work! Finally a story where they go above and beyond the line of duty
Thanks for covering this.....here in Ireland this case was huge and absolutely heartbreaking
thank you so much for posting part 2 today eleanor. ive actually had the worst day and your videos cheer me up
Same! I hope you're feeling ok
i hope tomorrow will be better for u !!!!!
Same! I sincerely hope you both start to feeling better & having a better day & night. It sucks being down some times, but it makes me appreciate good days more. Sending love to y'all💕
@@juliecarter7962 you're so sweet and you worded that perfectly :')
Hey I know I’m late but I just wanted to say I’m sorry that you had a bad day hugs I’m here for you too
The police in this case are actually smart. They figure things out properly for once
you’ve been absolutely glowing in all videos, we can see the inner work ya doing darling!!! i’ve watched you for a very long time, pretty much since the beginning so seeing you grow this big is so heartwarming!!
usually I listen to true crime YT videos before going to bed but this story literally hit me so hard. I can tell how Elaine felt seemingly perfectly and it was so real. Heartbreaking to say the least. Stay safe everyone. This is a true disgrace to the BDSM community.