You´re right, he has been helping me for such a long time already and continues to share his work and experience with all of us... for free!! Give this man a medal! :)
I wanted to improve my mental state so followed this with intent since November last year I can hand on heart say it really worked for me. I heard Richard say once Discipline is Freedom so wrote it on a post it and stuck it on my mirror and followed his advice. Not only am I happier and have got my optimistic attitude back, the added bonus of being in the best physical condition in a long while means my confidence has rocketed!! Get going people!! ... Its an adventure you won't regret 😎
Doing the mnemonic is effectively interrupting the “spell” of an emotional flashback in the moment. Identifying what’s happening is freeing. Thank you. Looking forward to Tutorial #4
and also I think as you heal and move on, the subject is pulling you down and away from the thriving phase (“the Vortex “) that pulls him more; His compassion and common sense compels him to serve all as part of himself! But he does not need to physically, emotionally, mentally be back into the codependent cPTSR bubble. That is my story.
Beeblebrox One he is fully aware and intentional in doing this for free.:) it is truly amazing and so helpful and validating to not go thru the abuse, realization and the healing all alone!!!!! Thank you Richard! Let me write it again: THANK YOU Richard!
When you said about you singing and your reality... I laughed so hard.. sitting in my office.. forgetting completely that my tyrant of a boss is just next office.. Oh God! And now I am telling myself.. me laughing- my reality.. if it hurts my boss'es ears.. his problem :-D
Richard. This fortress thing is absolutely spot on. Simple. To the point. To the core. I dont consider myself better just cos I'm better enough to cope so I'm following this. I was effectively not even on planet earth for a very long time. Once you get that bit of traction by getting off your backside, it snowballs. Getting my socks on is now old news. Thank you for your dedication 🤣
The whole "If you want it to happen - MAKE IT HAPPEN" goes for a whole lot more than just State Management. I'm going to make a poster of this statement and hang it on my office wall. I'm also going to start doing the steps for State Management immediately! Thanks so much, Richard! :)
Gosh I love this. Richard, thank you SO SO SO much for caring and sharing your expertise so selflessly. This channel is motivating me and I have noticed the shift of my state from conditioned into empowered. Great content
Very useful techniques...I am healing from Narcassistic abuse of 10 years at 59...left for another woman. And I decided, I was sick of being sick...I am on the 2nd week of consistently going to the gym. So damn f*cking proud. And now that I find your model....it makes sense...and is sending me to a better dimension....IF I do this stuff...hard to remember some...don't like to rewatch, but i have rewatched a couple of your videos. Thank you.
Omg the dancing and singing...I do that ever since my childhood, I never realised I was trying to reach states I otherwise couldn't. I would only do it when my narc parents were away cause me being too happy and not worried would get me in trouble. I love this.
When i think of what i do to change my state already....its usually from a bad state and its usually *always* a non healthy choice to abandon myself & escape bad feelings. Its like my brain has created a shortcut that takes me straight to escaping. Actually writing it out helps me descramble the jumbled mess that is my poor abandoned mind and take back a bit of control. Thank you so much Richard 🙏
“Choose to be your own coach” in addition to “no one is coming to save you” are the toughest type of love I have ever received. It was from Richard’s work and I listened for months and months until I was ready. And it gave me the power back to self. 🪴
Thank you for providing tools to heal NO NONSENSE truth that it takes more that reading. Working on resolutions to resolving and healing emotional issues
Since doing the hand mnemonic daily starting six days ago, I am not flashbacking and have actually been CRACKING-UP!!! lol....... I don't know what that's about but I did get a little bit depressed (but I'm just finding a ton of shit hilarious)!!! I've been cooped up inside (mostly a car issue getting taken care of) but the laughing I VERY MUCH welcome!!! lol.... LOL!!! :D :)
@@ananita6888 Every day, 5 times a day (especially when you feel that you may be going into an emotional flashback) for 1 month do this on 1 hand: 1.) Tap your thumb with your forefinger and say to yourself: "I am NOT my flashbacks.", 2.) Tap your forefinger with your thumb and say to yourself: "My goal state is emotional regulation and calm.", 3.) Tap your middle finger with your thumb and say to yourself: "I welcome my feelings and my emotions.", 4.) Tap your ring finger with your thumb and say to yourself: "I engage in self-interested action.", and 5.) Tap your pinkie with your thumb and say to yourself: "I am my own self."
@@ananita6888 Make sure you do it 5 times a day (I missed 2 days so I just caught up by doing it as many times as I missed doing it)... Do it even if you don't think you're going into an emotional flashback!!! My flashbacks have stopped and I am in a WAY better mood even though I have car issues!!! lol...... Odd but true!!! If you don't understand it still, watch his video on it and pause/stop the video whenever you need to and watch it slowly: th-cam.com/video/Cmimkv3cKdw/w-d-xo.html I have to do that all the time!!! I hope that helps (?!?!?!)!!! Take care!!! :D :)
@@marthapackard3935 bless your heart, thank you so much. I wasn't able to understand if it's tapping, pressing, pulling, what is it? lol I've done it, but i just pressed the top of my fingers, not knowing what to do. It does work, that's for sure, I can feel a slight change. The first affirmation, "I am not my flashbacks" was very powerful to realize. I am very happy it's working for you and for others and long live our beloved Richard who's doing this for free. I would have paid for it, don't get me wrong. lol Thank you again and cheers to our freedom and happiness. :-)
I just recently quit caffeine and it definitely decreased the fight /flight feeling. Thank you Richard for your valuable information. Now onto conquering chocolate
I have been doing this without realizing it. I have been working on my idea that I can CHOOSE, and then I get to DO things that help me stay in the better states!
Alright, I needed this as a "hey, you're on the right path". I struggle with it some weeks but generally starting each day by getting up, making coffee (no sugar), going to the gym, eating a healthy breakfast, and taking care of things that can easily be done, it helps build momentum for the day but I never thought about it as state management. My perspective has shifted.
Thank you so much Richard! So many of the videos focus on identifying narcissism but few focus on actions that one can take to overcome the crippling effects of abuse or "emotional flashbacks". I now have a game plan that makes sense and I know now with certainty I will MAKE IT HAPPEN!
This is great and I am so pleased to have found it. I wish I had found it sooner. But I had to get to this point to go looking, which I guess is a common experience. Thank you, Richard.
Hey I had to develop mecfs n be bedbound, crying if a bird sang outside my window cos too much stim for my brain b4 i really knuckled down. In honesty, it took my ex to wake me up to what *i* was doin to myself xD
It took me years to finally get to the truth as there was a lot of shoveling mainstream pseudo-science masquerading as facts derailing me. Thankfully i didn't give up or get hooked on those toxic drugs. Unfortunately many do.
I wish you could hear the clicks in my head as im listening to you and your lessons. Makes me feel better! it would probably be a tad scary:) and you make me smile while doing it ...Thank you for that. I love your humor and you have so far been spot on! K I S S (keep it simple stupid)!! nothing is ever as simple or as hard as it seems, also, thanks for helping me feel like im not obsessing over something or someone I cant change. bravo!!! I'm working on that.
Thank you Richard for showing us the peace of allowing the cogs if thought to process even overwhelming- seeming adversities! I pray for your peace also.
Stating a goal to recognize that our own self matters at the start of each day, just as it was done for others in the previous life of a codependent. But this time the priority is self care. A welcomed nonjudgemental new perspective to do daily living. Thanks.
I love your state management content...love it. The more responsibility I claim for the state I’m in and the one I want to achieve, the greater traction I am getting. Awesomeness :)
Been working through these videos since last night. Watching this one I suddenly feel very emotional and I'm nearly crying. Richard has helped me feel empowered over myself. I love you man!
Hi Richard, both of your channels are wonderful but this one is especially nice because it is so structured and work-focused. I only stumbled onto your channels a couple of days ago but the timing for me could not have been better. I am so very grateful for the work you are doing and hope that you will continue. Your work is even more necessary and relevant in the context of the pandemic. A thousand thank-you's.
Thanks I was ready for some more details or tasks. Been doing the exercises by alarms set and notes I made in my phone in case I get stuck. State management is a key part of moving forward.
🍃💞🍃you make self expansion SO simple Richard....Thank you thank you THANK YOU🍃💞🍃 I’m about to share this video with my son... your making it so much easier to “break the generation habits”
I like your videos because they are simple, practical and easy to follow. Also by giving examples from your own personal experience it helps us identify with you. And the exercises are easy to put into practice. Tks and Cheers 🙏
Richard, you have made me realise how much energy I have been wasting my whole life trying to people please. I used to and still get so upset that some people can’t see that even if I miss the target, that was my intention. I now realise they enjoy the domination and being someone who openly identifies as weak and vulnerable, simply gives them ammunition to continue my suffering. They enjoy my over-reaction or sensitivity and blame me for losing control despite their cruelty. It’s not a sane world. Popular or good looking people get an easy ride. Society is geared towards popularity and good looks. So being sensitive and kind is going against the grain and often is seen as something to be reviled. This leads to my isolation and inability to trust. I operate better when I wear various masks or hyping myself into certain states to ‘compete’. Depth and raw reality are attacked, being trivial is rewarded. Still I have a son, maybe he will see narcissism first hand from his mother and I can be his ObeWan and guide him towards unconditional love over attainment and heiracy obsessions or at least try to.
My narc dad, narc boyfriends and narc ex husband (25 years) forced me to listen to their radio and tv programs. In such a way they took all the space (including a mess and chaos with all things at home). 2 years of complete silence at home. Now sometimes i listen to my favourite music. It's rather interesting that my exhusband took my classic and jazz by mirroring during lovebombing stage. I gave it to him. Only now i take it back. It's mine!
I add a 4th touch to nourish or reinforce these reconditioning/reparenting to include the ‘my OWN self’ relationship. To also write: how grateful or even FUN, satisfying ‘thanks’ for how this impacts me positively. Cheers!
It’s an interesting concept , to ask myself, what do I want to feel. I tend to lead with what do I need to do.. I will work at being aware of what I want to feel. Thanks Richard.
Richard Grannon, you are such a smart person who knows how to phrase these concepts in a way anyone can follow and understand. Please kindly consider discontinuing the use of binary gender filled language, and instead utlize terms which do not leave out a large portion of humans. The term 'ladies and gentlemen', used several times, assumes there are only two genders and is exclusive. The message you are presenting is enlightening and everyone and anyone could benefit from this tutorial series. I Thank You for posting and sharing your gift of communication.
"If I want it to happen, I have to make it happen, nobody can do it for me" 7.38 That's such a different way of being for me..... I am so good at getting into action on behalf of others....They seem to matter more than me.... But doing this work, getting into action for me, seems so hard..... I wonder why???? I do want a different way of being, but can't seem to find the motivation to get the work done. So much easier to be distracted by others' needs..... Perhaps not easier... maybe it's fuelled by a strong need to feel safe all the time....and actually nobody is threatening my life now, it's just a strong feeling that's always present....my rationale for my behaviour.....keep everyone safe....no conflict is acceptable..... I grew up with domestic violence... I wonder what I need to shift in me in order to get into action for myself....
Everyone is different but I can relate to much of your comment. I often remind myself my past does not have to define my future. So I consciously stop my brain from running that memory pattern when I have to. "I'm OK now". I think I was driven by various degrees of fear that existed long after the traumas had past. CPTSR. I am never going to get the nurturing loving childhood a balanced adult had. Nothing I can do will illicit that from others. If I don't do the work I suffer so much more and sacrifice my life literally to those who caused my pain leaving them in control. That motivates me. I (and you) deserve to love ourselves enough in a healthy way to live our own lives...for me this is something I'm learning. I couldn't protect myself, I didn't know, and that's OK so I forgive myself and them. Now stop Inner Critic! I'm moving forward one step a time and doing best I can (not perfect). I'm taking my time. I have to remind myself I'm worth it. You are too Julie
@@jannaolsen3557 wow thank you for taking the time to share your experience....that's so kind of you.. I say yes to stopping the Inner Critic and embracing tnis work!! I had a fleeting moment of going somewhere else as I wascwritung this...a thought came up...but yes what if I still can't do it...even with this kind respinse from you...reminded of my need for others to do it for me....looking outside myself for help...or trying to get away from myself...abandon myself...... An inner dialogue appeared ... a reason came for the block I have for not doing the work....I felt thete was still a reason for me not doing the work...is it shame the voice said... Yes use shame as a reason for stalling and not doing tnis myself... Then another thought came...stop...why the need to find a reason for the block....I realised in this somehow I was looking for my mum to rescue me.....there was an essence of something deep within calling out for help....feeling like a lost child... Thank you again for your kindness in responding.....very helpful to gain perspective, this work is hard....
@@bonnielucas6769 thank you Bonnie, your comment is very helpful. I feel so exhausted and hadn't appreciated may be that's why....digging deep is such hard work.....trying to be self compassionate too. ....your kindness has made a big difference, thank you for providing me with a greater perspective x
Smile, look at photos, walk, hike in the forest, bare feet on the grass, hands in the dirt (gardening), fishing, watch a comedy or do things that make me laugh out loud, sing or listen to music. Remember the ocean where I grew up and breath in remembering how the salt air smelled...remember the sun shinning through the mist and green ferns and hearing the creek sounds in Fern Canyon. 🤗
Thank you Richard for all your work. I think I manage my state quite well these days and feel generally at peace with myself. However, watching this video reminded me of times in the past where I've used state management, without knowing it had a name , and with no clue about CPTSD and it triggered me. I felt like I was being manipulative and my inner critic let rip .! So despite achieving what I wanted to achieve I couldn't enjoy the results!!! Does this make sense? Thankfully those days are long gone now and I love that I can take action for myself and own it. Thanks again Richard.
Hi Richard, I am on day 15 on the Mnemonic exercises and have been disciplined with it and I can say it is definitely starting to lessen the emotional flashbacks and rage attacks, rage has subsided noticibly, I cried for about 10 minutes lastnite , accepted the sadness and fell asleep shortly after. Thank you so much for this. Feeling alot more present and a bit calmer, I'm committed to creating space from trigger and response. Thank you. Should I keep going with it after day 30 or move on to another exercise?
:: few notes You are doing things motivated by a need to change your state. You feel something, you want to feel something else = you do something. You can consciously chose how you want to feel (state you want to be in). Write it down on paper describing emotions. 1. List of things you already do to change your state, things that are changing your state. 2. List of things that you can do that you think would put you in the desired state.
It’s wonderful to know that I can & should take responsibility for how I feel in every moment of my life. It seems like a big responsibility but I wouldn’t want other people to be burdened with creating scenarios for me to feel good. Besides, what are the chances that they’ll get it right ? It’s so fun to be more engaged with what I’m doing & how I feel as I go through my daily things. It’s quite wonderful actually. I’m less of a burden & a bother to others & I enjoy taking responsibility for how I feel & what I experience throughout the day. It’s EXACTLY what I always wanted - to be able to do it all by myself 💕🤸🏻♀️✨👍🏼
Thank u . Ive found were u have steps to give me foundation to go an heal . I appreciate U . Glory to God for the help ive adked for . Now to get pen to papper an focus. I can !!!
Useful indeed! Doing my homework. 🙂 I have an off-topic question. Could you, at some point, do a video about hoarding and what that is connected to psychologically? My mother was a hoarder and she passed before I even heard the term.
Haha... you having a little sing (cute!)... just wanna hug you (even tho you're probably Avoidant Attached and don't much like spontaneous hugs. Here's a virtual one.. 🤗). Thank you Richie. x
![ช่วยพาฉันผ่านเวลา - วสันต์17 [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/HFnntWoqc54/mqdefault.jpg)
Can someone give this man a crown and a cape? Thanks Rich for shinig a bright light 🙌
he already wears both!
Sir Richard! 🙏😊
👑🧦
You´re right, he has been helping me for such a long time already and continues to share his work and experience with all of us... for free!! Give this man a medal! :)
He's *my* hero, too.
I wanted to improve my mental state so followed this with intent since November last year I can hand on heart say it really worked for me. I heard Richard say once Discipline is Freedom so wrote it on a post it and stuck it on my mirror and followed his advice. Not only am I happier and have got my optimistic attitude back, the added bonus of being in the best physical condition in a long while means my confidence has rocketed!! Get going people!! ... Its an adventure you won't regret 😎
Thank you so much for this tip…I’ve just put up several post it notes on the mirrors in my house with similar messages
4 years has gone -
how are things now?
Doing the mnemonic is effectively interrupting the “spell” of an emotional flashback in the moment. Identifying what’s happening is freeing.
Thank you.
Looking forward to Tutorial #4
Yeah I feel that I've been making some breakthroughs with identifying flashbacks. Thanks again, Grannon!
As one of my favourite modern poets says it:
never feel guilty for starting again
YEY!
😃💪🏻
I like that!!
I Love that ! Thanks for sharing!
You are actually now giving a lot of content free, great Richard! don't know why but thank you for a lot of help!
I think because he wants to start moving on to more philosophical things?
and also I think as you heal and move on, the subject is pulling you down and away from the thriving phase (“the Vortex “) that pulls him more; His compassion and common sense compels him to serve all as part of himself! But he does not need to physically, emotionally, mentally be back into the codependent cPTSR bubble. That is my story.
Beeblebrox One he is fully aware and intentional in doing this for free.:) it is truly amazing and so helpful and validating to not go thru the abuse, realization and the healing all alone!!!!! Thank you Richard! Let me write it again: THANK YOU Richard!
@Beeblebrox One lol not sure how we could jinx it. I'm sure he's well aware he could charge for it...he obviously has his own reasons why he hasn't x
it's a well known success principle. You can't out give the Giver. Just start giving away and see what happens -- it comes back multiplied.
When you said about you singing and your reality... I laughed so hard.. sitting in my office.. forgetting completely that my tyrant of a boss is just next office.. Oh God! And now I am telling myself.. me laughing- my reality.. if it hurts my boss'es ears.. his problem :-D
Soorya Prabha I’m practicing scales ⚖️. Libra. Lol. Of course I am.
Doe Ray Me Fa So La Tea Doe.
Following passionately from Egypt and spreading your work too 'cause it completely resonates with me.
Richard. This fortress thing is absolutely spot on. Simple. To the point. To the core. I dont consider myself better just cos I'm better enough to cope so I'm following this. I was effectively not even on planet earth for a very long time. Once you get that bit of traction by getting off your backside, it snowballs. Getting my socks on is now old news. Thank you for your dedication 🤣
The whole "If you want it to happen - MAKE IT HAPPEN" goes for a whole lot more than just State Management. I'm going to make a poster of this statement and hang it on my office wall. I'm also going to start doing the steps for State Management immediately! Thanks so much, Richard! :)
Poster size reminder is a great 💡
Gosh I love this. Richard, thank you SO SO SO much for caring and sharing your expertise so selflessly. This channel is motivating me and I have noticed the shift of my state from conditioned into empowered. Great content
Thank you so much, as always. Eternally grateful for all your life-saving work.
Very useful techniques...I am healing from Narcassistic abuse of 10 years at 59...left for another woman. And I decided, I was sick of being sick...I am on the 2nd week of consistently going to the gym. So damn f*cking proud. And now that I find your model....it makes sense...and is sending me to a better dimension....IF I do this stuff...hard to remember some...don't like to rewatch, but i have rewatched a couple of your videos. Thank you.
I absolutely LOVE how much you are helping us! You are Godsent! ❤❤
I am eager to see this video. The mnemonic on the last 2 has been a great way to make a habit of feeling completely collected.
Omg the dancing and singing...I do that ever since my childhood, I never realised I was trying to reach states I otherwise couldn't. I would only do it when my narc parents were away cause me being too happy and not worried would get me in trouble. I love this.
I can relate...
Same :) 💜
When i think of what i do to change my state already....its usually from a bad state and its usually *always* a non healthy choice to abandon myself & escape bad feelings. Its like my brain has created a shortcut that takes me straight to escaping.
Actually writing it out helps me descramble the jumbled mess that is my poor abandoned mind and take back a bit of control. Thank you so much Richard 🙏
I watched the tutorials sequentially today and it has been beneficial! Rainy days are good for the soul.
Watching this for a second time to take notes. This. Is. So. Good! I can literally feel my brain crackling.
“Choose to be your own coach” in addition to “no one is coming to save you” are the toughest type of love I have ever received. It was from Richard’s work and I listened for months and months until I was ready. And it gave me the power back to self. 🪴
Richard ,I can not thank you enough for what you do,
These tutorials are great. Thanks so much Richard for all the work you are putting in.
Thank you for providing tools to heal
NO NONSENSE truth that it takes more that reading. Working on resolutions to resolving and healing emotional issues
Since doing the hand mnemonic daily starting six days ago, I am not flashbacking and have actually been CRACKING-UP!!! lol....... I don't know what that's about but I did get a little bit depressed (but I'm just finding a ton of shit hilarious)!!! I've been cooped up inside (mostly a car issue getting taken care of) but the laughing I VERY MUCH welcome!!! lol.... LOL!!! :D :)
Can you please share what exactly are you doing with the fingers? I didn't understand from Richard. Thank you.
@@ananita6888 Every day, 5 times a day (especially when you feel that you may be going into an emotional flashback) for 1 month do this on 1 hand: 1.) Tap your thumb with your forefinger and say to yourself: "I am NOT my flashbacks.", 2.) Tap your forefinger with your thumb and say to yourself: "My goal state is emotional regulation and calm.", 3.) Tap your middle finger with your thumb and say to yourself: "I welcome my feelings and my emotions.", 4.) Tap your ring finger with your thumb and say to yourself: "I engage in self-interested action.", and 5.) Tap your pinkie with your thumb and say to yourself: "I am my own self."
@@ananita6888 Make sure you do it 5 times a day (I missed 2 days so I just caught up by doing it as many times as I missed doing it)... Do it even if you don't think you're going into an emotional flashback!!! My flashbacks have stopped and I am in a WAY better mood even though I have car issues!!! lol...... Odd but true!!! If you don't understand it still, watch his video on it and pause/stop the video whenever you need to and watch it slowly: th-cam.com/video/Cmimkv3cKdw/w-d-xo.html I have to do that all the time!!! I hope that helps (?!?!?!)!!! Take care!!! :D :)
@@marthapackard3935 what exactly are you doing?
@@marthapackard3935 bless your heart, thank you so much. I wasn't able to understand if it's tapping, pressing, pulling, what is it? lol I've done it, but i just pressed the top of my fingers, not knowing what to do. It does work, that's for sure, I can feel a slight change. The first affirmation, "I am not my flashbacks" was very powerful to realize. I am very happy it's working for you and for others and long live our beloved Richard who's doing this for free. I would have paid for it, don't get me wrong. lol Thank you again and cheers to our freedom and happiness. :-)
I just recently quit caffeine and it definitely decreased the fight /flight feeling. Thank you Richard for your valuable information. Now onto conquering chocolate
I can't stop listening this is the best and taking notes I may listen a couple more times! Found this on perfect time!
I have been doing this without realizing it. I have been working on my idea that I can CHOOSE, and then I get to DO things that help me stay in the better states!
Alright, I needed this as a "hey, you're on the right path". I struggle with it some weeks but generally starting each day by getting up, making coffee (no sugar), going to the gym, eating a healthy breakfast, and taking care of things that can easily be done, it helps build momentum for the day but I never thought about it as state management. My perspective has shifted.
Thank you so much Richard! So many of the videos focus on identifying narcissism but few focus on actions that one can take to overcome the crippling effects of abuse or "emotional flashbacks". I now have a game plan that makes sense and I know now with certainty I will MAKE IT HAPPEN!
This is great and I am so pleased to have found it. I wish I had found it sooner. But I had to get to this point to go looking, which I guess is a common experience. Thank you, Richard.
Hey
I had to develop mecfs n be bedbound, crying if a bird sang outside my window cos too much stim for my brain b4 i really knuckled down.
In honesty, it took my ex to wake me up to what *i* was doin to myself xD
It took me years to finally get to the truth as there was a lot of shoveling mainstream pseudo-science masquerading as facts derailing me. Thankfully i didn't give up or get hooked on those toxic drugs. Unfortunately many do.
I wish you could hear the clicks in my head as im listening to you and your lessons. Makes me feel better! it would probably be a tad scary:) and you make me smile while doing it ...Thank you for that. I love your humor and you have so far been spot on! K I S S (keep it simple stupid)!! nothing is ever as simple or as hard as it seems, also, thanks for helping me feel like im not obsessing over something or someone I cant change. bravo!!! I'm working on that.
Thank you so much Richard, for sharing your developments and discoveries. I can't begin to thank you enough.
Thank you Richard for showing us the peace of allowing the cogs if thought to process even overwhelming- seeming adversities! I pray for your peace also.
Stating a goal to recognize that our own self matters at the start of each day, just as it was done for others in the previous life of a codependent. But this time the priority is self care.
A welcomed nonjudgemental new perspective to do daily living. Thanks.
Thank you Richard, this is very good and I look forward to more. You are a genius and a mench.
I couldn't find these and started to panic because they are so helpful and I like to tell people about them
I love your state management content...love it. The more responsibility I claim for the state I’m in and the one I want to achieve, the greater traction I am getting. Awesomeness :)
Richard is the best! His tutorials and the courses on his webpage help so much. I can only recommend them to anyone!
Been working through these videos since last night. Watching this one I suddenly feel very emotional and I'm nearly crying. Richard has helped me feel empowered over myself. I love you man!
As a practicing Muslim who is interested in the intersection of Islam & psychology and how well it goes together, this series is seriously fantastic.
Thank you for support and motivation. Even though we will never meet 🙌
Love your new series Richy, thank you !
Thank you Richard Grannon❤️ Thank you, thank you, thank you❤️
Hi Richard, both of your channels are wonderful but this one is especially nice because it is so structured and work-focused. I only stumbled onto your channels a couple of days ago but the timing for me could not have been better. I am so very grateful for the work you are doing and hope that you will continue. Your work is even more necessary and relevant in the context of the pandemic. A thousand thank-you's.
Thanks I was ready for some more details or tasks. Been doing the exercises by alarms set and notes I made in my phone in case I get stuck. State management is a key part of moving forward.
Excellent tutorials Richard. Thank you.
Thank you Richard, for all your information, exactly what I need, fabulous stuff. 👍🏼🙏❤️
Wow...it’s so true, no one can make anything happen for me but me. Such a simple statement but that’s the way it is! You’re fantastic.
🍃💞🍃you make self expansion SO simple Richard....Thank you thank you THANK YOU🍃💞🍃 I’m about to share this video with my son... your making it so much easier to “break the generation habits”
I like your videos because they are simple, practical and easy to follow.
Also by giving examples from your own personal experience it helps us identify with you. And the exercises are easy to put into practice. Tks and Cheers 🙏
Richard, you have made me realise how much energy I have been wasting my whole life trying to people please. I used to and still get so upset that some people can’t see that even if I miss the target, that was my intention. I now realise they enjoy the domination and being someone who openly identifies as weak and vulnerable, simply gives them ammunition to continue my suffering. They enjoy my over-reaction or sensitivity and blame me for losing control despite their cruelty. It’s not a sane world. Popular or good looking people get an easy ride. Society is geared towards popularity and good looks. So being sensitive and kind is going against the grain and often is seen as something to be reviled. This leads to my isolation and inability to trust. I operate better when I wear various masks or hyping myself into certain states to ‘compete’. Depth and raw reality are attacked, being trivial is rewarded. Still I have a son, maybe he will see narcissism first hand from his mother and I can be his ObeWan and guide him towards unconditional love over attainment and heiracy obsessions or at least try to.
Thank you for creating this beautiful empowering work.I am truly grateful and deeply inspired 🌈.
Richard, your words are golden light codes, thank you man :-))
My narc dad, narc boyfriends and narc ex husband (25 years) forced me to listen to their radio and tv programs. In such a way they took all the space (including a mess and chaos with all things at home). 2 years of complete silence at home. Now sometimes i listen to my favourite music. It's rather interesting that my exhusband took my classic and jazz by mirroring during lovebombing stage. I gave it to him. Only now i take it back. It's mine!
You made me smile today! You are a blessing :)
Thank you for the research and work that you have been doing and sharing...
Wrote it all down, even my deformed hand (mantra). Thank you, Richard!
Thank you sweetie! May you heal quickly and get to your feet soon!
I add a 4th touch to nourish or reinforce these reconditioning/reparenting to include the ‘my OWN self’ relationship. To also write: how grateful or even FUN, satisfying ‘thanks’ for how this impacts me positively. Cheers!
thanks Richard this training is fantastic
You are in very fine form sir - a pleasure to see your example of what is possible ❤
Thanks Richard. This is really helpful!
It’s an interesting concept , to ask myself, what do I want to feel. I tend to lead with what do I need to do.. I will work at being aware of what I want to feel. Thanks Richard.
Loving your work. You are on fiya !!!
Yaaaaas looking forward to this 🖐
Cool stuff- thank you - appreciate the advice 👍
Richard Grannon, you are such a smart person who knows how to phrase these concepts in a way anyone can follow and understand. Please kindly consider discontinuing the use of binary gender filled language, and instead utlize terms which do not leave out a large portion of humans. The term 'ladies and gentlemen', used several times, assumes there are only two genders and is exclusive. The message you are presenting is enlightening and everyone and anyone could benefit from this tutorial series. I Thank You for posting and sharing your gift of communication.
thank you Richard, that was very nice indeed !
"If I want it to happen, I have to make it happen, nobody can do it for me" 7.38
That's such a different way of being for me.....
I am so good at getting into action on behalf of others....They seem to matter more than me....
But doing this work, getting into action for me, seems so hard.....
I wonder why???? I do want a different way of being, but can't seem to find the motivation to get the work done.
So much easier to be distracted by others' needs.....
Perhaps not easier... maybe it's fuelled by a strong need to feel safe all the time....and actually nobody is threatening my life now, it's just a strong feeling that's always present....my rationale for my behaviour.....keep everyone safe....no conflict is acceptable.....
I grew up with domestic violence...
I wonder what I need to shift in me in order to get into action for myself....
Everyone is different but I can relate to much of your comment. I often remind myself my past does not have to define my future. So I consciously stop my brain from running that memory pattern when I have to. "I'm OK now". I think I was driven by various degrees of fear that existed long after the traumas had past. CPTSR. I am never going to get the nurturing loving childhood a balanced adult had. Nothing I can do will illicit that from others. If I don't do the work I suffer so much more and sacrifice my life literally to those who caused my pain leaving them in control. That motivates me. I (and you) deserve to love ourselves enough in a healthy way to live our own lives...for me this is something I'm learning. I couldn't protect myself, I didn't know, and that's OK so I forgive myself and them. Now stop Inner Critic! I'm moving forward one step a time and doing best I can (not perfect). I'm taking my time. I have to remind myself I'm worth it. You are too Julie
@@jannaolsen3557 wow thank you for taking the time to share your experience....that's so kind of you..
I say yes to stopping the Inner Critic and embracing tnis work!!
I had a fleeting moment of going somewhere else as I wascwritung this...a thought came up...but yes what if I still can't do it...even with this kind respinse from you...reminded of my need for others to do it for me....looking outside myself for help...or trying to get away from myself...abandon myself......
An inner dialogue appeared ... a reason came for the block I have for not doing the work....I felt thete was still a reason for me not doing the work...is it shame the voice said...
Yes use shame as a reason for stalling and not doing tnis myself...
Then another thought came...stop...why the need to find a reason for the block....I realised in this somehow I was looking for my mum to rescue me.....there was an essence of something deep within calling out for help....feeling like a lost child...
Thank you again for your kindness in responding.....very helpful to gain perspective, this work is hard....
@@juliesimmons5171 Wow this is deep work you've shown here! Thank you for sharing it! 💜
@@bonnielucas6769 thank you Bonnie, your comment is very helpful. I feel so exhausted and hadn't appreciated may be that's why....digging deep is such hard work.....trying to be self compassionate too. ....your kindness has made a big difference, thank you for providing me with a greater perspective x
@@juliesimmons5171 Self love is key! Just having willingness is a great start! 💜
Smile, look at photos, walk, hike in the forest, bare feet on the grass, hands in the dirt (gardening), fishing, watch a comedy or do things that make me laugh out loud, sing or listen to music. Remember the ocean where I grew up and breath in remembering how the salt air smelled...remember the sun shinning through the mist and green ferns and hearing the creek sounds in Fern Canyon. 🤗
Thanks Richie. This is perfect for today. 🙂
This is a clever way of finding our feelings, its perfect, im scots so mine is at times very strong as it happened fairly early the accent in chilhood
Omg this is so much help , thank you so much ❣️❣️
I play the piano (badly) to alter my state! Lets duo!!! Haha! Thanks for this project. It's really helping me out!
my question is, why you talking like Angel, smile like Angel, one of the most beautiful smiles I saw in the world... 💃💃💃💃💃
Thank you Richard for all your work. I think I manage my state quite well these days and feel generally at peace with myself. However, watching this video reminded me of times in the past where I've used state management, without knowing it had a name , and with no clue about CPTSD and it triggered me. I felt like I was being manipulative and my inner critic let rip .! So despite achieving what I wanted to achieve I couldn't enjoy the results!!! Does this make sense? Thankfully those days are long gone now and I love that I can take action for myself and own it. Thanks again Richard.
Hi Richard, I am on day 15 on the Mnemonic exercises and have been disciplined with it and I can say it is definitely starting to lessen the emotional flashbacks and rage attacks, rage has subsided noticibly, I cried for about 10 minutes lastnite , accepted the sadness and fell asleep shortly after. Thank you so much for this. Feeling alot more present and a bit calmer, I'm committed to creating space from trigger and response. Thank you. Should I keep going with it after day 30 or move on to another exercise?
You are always the best ❤
:: few notes
You are doing things motivated by a need to change your state. You feel something, you want to feel something else = you do something.
You can consciously chose how you want to feel (state you want to be in). Write it down on paper describing emotions.
1. List of things you already do to change your state, things that are changing your state.
2. List of things that you can do that you think would put you in the desired state.
It’s wonderful to know that I can & should take responsibility for how I feel in every moment of my life.
It seems like a big responsibility but I wouldn’t want other people to be burdened with creating scenarios for me to feel good. Besides, what are the chances that they’ll get it right ?
It’s so fun to be more engaged with what I’m doing & how I feel as I go through my daily things.
It’s quite wonderful actually.
I’m less of a burden & a bother to others & I enjoy taking responsibility for how I feel & what I experience throughout the day.
It’s EXACTLY what I always wanted - to be able to do it all by myself 💕🤸🏻♀️✨👍🏼
Thank you Richard ☀️
Thank you, Richard
Thank you Richard!
Be so awesome to have this paired with the style of how @afterschool does those white board picture story things.
More pictures ! Lol
Thank you Richard 💖
Love it!
Thank u . Ive found were u have steps to give me foundation to go an heal . I appreciate U . Glory to God for the help ive adked for . Now to get pen to papper an focus. I can !!!
Smashed it bro
Brilliant!
Once again thanks so much.
💞💜 inner peace tutorial
To be, I MUST DO. To be well, I must DO WELL.
Useful indeed! Doing my homework. 🙂 I have an off-topic question. Could you, at some point, do a video about hoarding and what that is connected to psychologically? My mother was a hoarder and she passed before I even heard the term.
Haha... you having a little sing (cute!)... just wanna hug you (even tho you're probably Avoidant Attached and don't much like spontaneous hugs. Here's a virtual one.. 🤗). Thank you Richie. x
Awesome!
Love that!
Thank you !!🙏
Something to do when you wake up at 2am or 3am in the morning and can not go back to sleep?
Thank you. Just Need the discipline for myself that I have when it Comes to others.
Like it. Appreciate it.
Maybe a disclaimer about doing illegal things to change your state.. 😂
Marry me!😍😉😁🤣😉😉 no just k8dding,i do love that u are helping me and a lot of people here!🙏❤❤❤