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3 Powerful Tips to Deal with Obsession Over Someone
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ส.ค. 2024
- When our mind notices a problem we are forced to think about that problem; It's the way "mother nature" tell us to solve the problem.
But what if the problem-solving becomes the problem?
In other words: How the F do we deal with the obsessive thinking in limerence?
"I'm sick and tired of thinking about this person, it's boring (sometimes painful) and I really don't want to... but I still do. Thanks, Mother Nature."
In this video, I give you some tips on how to deal with her.
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Hello there!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence.
My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: fennavdberg@hotmail.com
My editor is the best!! : Heymel Visual
Graphics: Studio Ilse van Klei ilsevanklei.nl/
My editor is the best!! : Heymel Visual
Graphics: Studio Ilse van Klei ilsevanklei.nl/
The phrase "power of choice" comes from Alan Robarge, the best relationship educator on you tube. #alanrobarge
I think all of those techniques will be very helpful. What I’ve been doing is being compassionate with myself, understanding that these tendencies developed in a very difficult childhood where my basic needs were very much neglected. I had no safe connections and I lived in fantasy a lot to get relief from the empty and abusive reality. Looking back, I realize that I’ve had several limerent episodes over the years, this last one being by far the worst, a few years after my husband died. It was just the worst, most impossible thing to deal with, Joy-sucking and life-sucking! I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy! Thankfully, it’s eased up a fair amount after two years and I feel more engaged in life and people. I think it would still not be safe to be around him as I would get pulled back into obsession. It’s so very embarrassing!
You are absolutely right. I have to cycle past LOs office to get to work. That alone triggers my craving and grieving. I try to look to the other side but that only works if I count things, e.g. cars, trees, paving stones. This might sound strange, but it helps most of the time because a different part of the brain than the emotional part is occupied.
I like the counting idea. I'm going to try it! 👍
@@5gx673 Yes! I think it's good! Good luck🙂
Lmao me too. Dude's office cannot be avoided when I go to work. But I simply just turn my head the other way and don't look Xd
70 year old male limerant. thanks for your wonderful advice especially the way you present it.
Thank you so much for this comment ❤️
I feel like I’m finally out of limerence after not seeing my LO for maybe one month, but I still come back to your videos because they are soothing and calming.
At some point it’s a foolish feeling -well said - a boring subject - a weak person - just walk away. Thx.
It's hard to walk away, but at one point we have to .
Until two weeks ago i didnt know that this is not love but an extreme longing for something she can't give me. I'm going for a evening walk now in the city. Beetje chillen... 🙂. Dank je wel!
Heel veel sterkte!
So much great advice here, acknowledging you can’t control your thoughts but you can control your actions was a very helpful point. For me the No Contact rule is key..thank you Fenna ❤
3 years NC and I actually feel repulsed by him. I'm somewhat relieved we never have to meet again.
I so understand what you mean, sometimes we find LO slightly disgusting after the limerence
@@followingfenna I see now how the limerence throughout my life kept me distracted and comforted during very difficult times. I also sense that being adopted contributed to this. Not feeling completely safe in the body. My nervous system frequently seems triggered and I've been trying to calm it ever since with a variety of methods. Thank you Fenna for these videos...they are very helpful. I appreciate the compassion.
Thanks again for a great video, Fenna. Doing my best to not fall into another limerent episode. This time around I can see the warning signs and try not to get ahead of myself. I tell myself that I am having a friendly conversation with this person and that is all that it is. Can't live in fantasy anymore.
Another beautiful podcast Fenna. Thank you.
I wonder if eight years of limerance is way too long to recover completely 🤔 I am afraid that, at this point, it has become such a strong habit that the no-contact solution has to be forever. (it's been ten days since the last time we talked)
I have recovered from longer episodes, with no contact. Wish you the best!
Midnight Confessions, The Grassroots, 1968
...In my midnight confessions
When I tell all the world that I love you
In my midnight confessions
When I say all the things that I want to
I love you 💕. . .
Fenna, your videos inspire me and give me hope. Thank you
Wish I discovered you years ago.
So helpful. Thanks you. Love your eye makeup. Tops. Bring back the blue eye shadow is what I say. Yes, you think it will be different but it is the same. Yes, it is a puzzle that can't be solved. So many gems in this one. Yes, distraction-- I do artwork and listen to music.
No off switch. Looping.
I would love to bike the Netherlands. I biked Vienna for a week. Great. Thanks. Take the oxygen out. Uncertainty. I hate it. It is a pain that there is no resolution.
I thought it was my husband in limerence. Maybe it's been me all this time.
I have a huge problem, help 😢 -
My LO is a next door neighbour 😒 I am doing a perfect no contact since he cut it off, BUT I find myself light-stalking looking through the peeping hole to see when he comes and goes... see him from a far behind my door.
Last week I saw a young woman entering his house, which sent me to a very hard episode of enxiaty and even light self hurting.
We both live here with no intent to leave for this year.
I feel devestated and triggered.
What can I do 😢?
I'm sooo sorry to hear this,
Avoid then amap . No peeping, no lookin, no stalking.
Avoid
Avoid
Avoid . And endure that this makes you restless. Endurance Is the magic in any addiction.
Why do I think my Ex was so special?