Hearing the love y’all have for Suki … Has inspired me to be a better mother…. My daughter is 15 months old and also feels like an extension of myself…. Wishing y’all so much strength. I don’t think I will be able to participate in the reading sprints (due to time difference and needing to take care of my daughter) but will definitely be donating and reading some of the prompts
Your mom isnt a failure, she did her best! It's medical professionals AND systemic ableism/racism, that failed her. I pray, that her spirit is at peace knowing, that you, your brothers and her dogs are all together and that you will be caring for one another now. 💜💜💜
We're holding space for you all. Thank you for letting us witness a part of your family's story. Hoping we get the chance to talk again, even if briefly
Oh Jesse, when y'all said y'all should never let her move back to Michigan, I just wanted to reach through the screen and hug y'all. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so sorry the healthcare system failed her. Obviously, I never met her in person but loved seeing her in y'all's videos and how much she loved the videos and BookTube. And the snippets of her cooking y'all shared, her food looked so good
I'll light a candle in her memory for y'all. I lost my mom to cancer about a decade ago. My wife and I had been planning our wedding then, but my mom was fighting a losing battle and wouldn't make it the last few months to the date. We went to the courthouse and signed the papers so she could be there as witness. She passed two weeks later. I won't offer any platitudes, just love.
Hi Jesse. I don't talk to my mother for many reasons, but I remember seeing a video of yours when she first moved in with you, and thinking about what a lovely relationship you guys had. I am so sorry for your loss, and for everything that has happened. I am so thankful you are coming back to TH-cam and choosing to put your personal health and welfare first. I donated to your gofundme (thank you for sharing it!) and I will be lighting a candle for your mom. Stay strong- there are so many people who care about you and want you to be safe and happy. Love you
Thank you for sharing y'all's vulnerability with us and for opening up your heart and allowing this community to grieve alongside y'all. I feel very humbled to be part of Suki's homegoing. My partner has an altar and we'll light a candle for Suki, and in her honor, I've also happily joined the Heart tier on your Patreon. It just felt like the right thing to do in her memory. I hope y'all find peace and moments of joy and tenderness and healing during this time. I hope y'all know y'all are loved. (That includes you, Suki. I love you!)
Your mom wanted a way out from the pain and suffering. She is no longer in pain and she is no longer suffering. I'm praying for your strength and comfort knowing that your mom is watching over you with the biggest smile on her face. My TBR will be changing for this readathon. *Hugs and Kisses* 🥰🥰🥰💜💜💜🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🫂🫂🫂Mi amor, stay Gold, much gratitude!!!
As someone who also lost my mum unexpectedly and was also preventable, I understand the anger and frustration and utter grief❤ my heart and love is with y'all and y'all's mum's spirit 💚💚
Thank you, Rubi. We appreciate the sense in all of the senselessness. What an entire tragedy, to lose your mum and to something preventable. Big hugs to you both
Losing my mother in my 30s was so hard, and I didn't have to support anyone. It's barely been a minute for you, no wonder you are still raw. I send my spirit out to you, to hold space for you to feel whatever you need. You are profound and beautiful.
I'm so sorry for y’all’s loss and just wanted to say this channel has brought so much joy and hope. Through that y’all and Suki have affected so many. I hope we in the community can offer some comfort and aid back in return. Also, Suki’s designs look so beautiful.
I'm so, so sorry. It's so hard to try to be grieving when there are so many things you have to do immediately because of the death. Sending you all the love, and I'll be thinking of you and your mom and your family.
I know this is a little late but this type of pain doesn’t fade. I’m so sorry Jesse. I could feel your pain throughout this video and cried with you. As someone who is also super close with my mom, it’s one of my biggest fears and I can’t imagine. It sounds like you and your mom were soulmates, y’all were meant to be her child. Please be gentle with yourself.❤
I’m so sorry Jesse 😭 I don’t even have the words, I’m just so sorry that y’all are dealing with this right now. I’m sending y’all the biggest bear hug 😭❤️
I am so, so, so, so sorry. This is absolutely heartbreaking. The way you speak about her, though, is so warm and so full of love, and that warmth will stay with y'all forever. The impact she clearly made on y'all is so special. ♥ Sending all the love and will support where I can.
Oh, Jesse. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your incredible mom. I deeply felt and related to the truth that society doesn't care about anything except capitalism. As a chronically disabled adult myself, I totally get that. I'm thinking of you and your family and sending y'all so much love and comfort. If I have some extra 💸 left over after I'm paid this week and my bills are all set, I'll definitely contribute to your family's needs! ❤🩹✨Rest well, Suki. ✨
Grief is hard and y’all are so brave for confronting it and living with it. I sent the book - I’m glad that it helped in some small way. I’m thinking of Suki, and also of y’all and your family.
I'm so sorry to hear of your deep loss Jesse as well as your family's. I lost my person, my Dad, very unexpectedly and although logically I understood what was happening it felt like my heart and my entire body was screaming no. I don't know how you feel because no one can but I know grief is more painful than words and that it has felt like the only pain I couldn't just make better. That the level of grief felt equal to the depths of love. I will light a candle for Suki and hope that you can feel some small measure of peace and comfort knowing that you are surrounded by love and community. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You deserve to have your pain acknowledged. You deserve to have the space you need to cry, rage, laugh, remember. We're holding you Jesse.
Wow I am so in awe of Suki's creations, her bags are beautiful and it excites me to hear you plan on continuing to launch her business!!! I am sending Suki prayers of love ❤️ and hope she hears from us how much she is loved and she is at peace.
Yall lit up around her, losing someone so close is devastating. Im so incredibly sorry. Grief hits in waves but I’m praying yall are surrounded by loved ones who will nurture and care for y’all’s heart. Work through this in the best way yall can. And cherish the memories, videos, pictures, and ways her spirit will show up around yall. She will always show up, she’s not gone 🐞🕯️
Hiiiiiiii Jesse! I’ve missed y’all so much and I’m sending y’all so much much love and healing energy❤️❤️❤️ Mama Bowties’s love will always be felt and remembered! She was amazing in life and she’ll be amazing as an ancestor!!!
I lost my two brothers about a month ago and was so surprised when I saw these videos of yours pop up. I am sure everyone has said it but here is another shoulder if you ever want to talk. We enjoyed your mom and sure will join in and do what I can.
There is nothing I could say to help with the pain or that hasn't already been said, but y'alls love for your ancestors, and y'alls family, especially y'alls mom, shines so, so bright. Grieve as hard as y'all must, it is the only way forward. Y'alls community will remember her with y'all
sending y’all so much love. the little bits of her y’all shared over time were so beautiful and she was such a bright light, even through a screen. lighting a candle for her today🕯️💖
Words cannot even begin to describe what y'all, your brother, and your family are going through. I'm so so so so sorry, Jesse. When I think of an iconic, close close child and mother bond, y'all and your mom definitely come to mind
Jesse, I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent is the hardest. I have been thinking and asking about y'all for months and I'm so sorry this was the reason. My heart is with y'all and your family, words are not enough.
💜💜 Thank y'all for being so vulnerable. This was difficult for me to watch as I lost my dad earlier this year and it has been a freaking struggle. Sending y'all all the positive vibes and love in the world. Y'all got this, Jesse!
I'm so sorry for your loss, and everything you're going through right now. This all sounds extremely difficult, and my heart goes out to you. I know the weight on your shoulders right now must feel immense. I feel angry and upset for you and your mom that she passed from something preventable. I was worried when you disappeared from TH-cam, and have continued to check back for new videos. Thank you for providing multiple ways for us to help support your family. 🤍
Jess thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing about Suki. That love is strong and it is palpable. My heart goes out to y'all, I will do my best to participate in the readathon but more importantly sending that love and messages to Suki ❤️
Your mother sounds like such a beautiful, loving soul, and you clearly brought each other so much joy. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Just subbed to your channel, because I felt this video in my bones. (I was born 2nd of four siblings, and I'm the only one still alive. My youngest sibling [and my lifelong bestie] died just before 2020 of a previously undetected heart condition that probably would have been detected if they weren't so [justifiably] afraid of [and mistreated by] the healthcare system being a trans enby). In case you need to hear this, because there were times when I absolutely needed to hear it: if all you did today is survive, that's enough. You are enough, you are loved, it's okay for your grief to take up as much time and space as you need. Your anger is valid. You deserve self tenderness. I'm holding you in my heart and thoughts, and I truly, sincerely wish you and your family comfort, strength, safety, and the space to process.
Let me tell you this right now. We control what we can and we cannot control everything. Your mother was beautiful. She was loved. Your existence is a beautiful tribute to your mother. I wish you peace and I hope that you are able to take the time you need to deal with your exponential loss. The love that you have for your mother is so visceral, no one could dispute that. Please focus some of that love toward yourself through this time. She would want that and we all want that for you. You can move forward and your angel will be watching over you, cheering you on.
Lighting a candle for her on my Día de Muertos altar now. So sorry to hear this. Can't imagine how hard this is for you. I also have fibromyalgia and would've loved to have an advocate like you. And about to pick up crochet again in memory of her. R.I.P.
Jesse .. I lost my dad at 15 and ever since then my mom and I have been a “TEAM” , I fear the day I’ll have to say goodbye to her because I’m 26 now and still not “over” my dad passing away.. any book that has a single parent and kid TEAM I’m already bawling.. seeing y’all cry had me bawling because it hurts so Fucking bad to lose your partner in crime.. I know Suki would’ve loved seeing the videos for this readathon with y’all ❤ .. Take care Jesse . P.S. your dog reaching out to you when you’re in distress is so heartwarming
I am so sorry for your loss Jesse, I'd say I couldn't imagine what you are going through except it's palpable how devastated you are with ever breath you take, even through a video. A couple BookTubers had started doing 'Most Anticipated' lists for 2025 and that reminded me that I hadn't seen your videos in a while. I was looking for a new Patreon to support in the new year and yours sounds perfect, no need to worry about being an inconsistent poster cause I'm constantly distracted and forget to check-in so your posts will be a happy surprise for the both of us. Sending you good vibes that you and your brother will find steady work, a safe new space to live, and comfort in each other. Please take time to prioritize your grief and mental health. And while I missed out on Suki's initial read-a-thon I'm looking forward to the Galentine's day celebration.
Jesse I am just a random human who watches you on the internet. But my heart is breaking for ya'll. Please continue to tell your community (us) of your needs. I have made some small contributions and hope to continue to be able to. Sending you so much love sweet human.
I’m so so unbelievably sorry for y’all. I’m a longtime viewer and always loved when Mama Bowties would show up in a video. ❣️ I’ll light a candle for y'alls mom tonight. Please know a lot of strangers on the internet are sending y'all so many hugs and will keep Mama Bowties in our heart. ❤ Sending love, comfort and hugs from California.
i've been lighting candles for mama bowties ever since I heard of her passing from your ig. I'm glad y'all gave us the chance to get to know her through y'alls channel and reels. I'm sure I don't speak only of myself, but y'alls mama was loved, and I'm sure she'll continued to be loved even in her passing. sending love and strength y'alls way. will definitely join the suki readathon
I'm so sorry for ya'll's loss. Losing a mom is one of the worst things. My mom died of cancer that also could have been prevented if she had had the money and resources to get care early. I hate how broken our healthcare system is and everything else that's supposed to support our disabled selves and loved ones. I'm glad we are able to participate by being a Patreon and also by joining your readathon. Mom's are very special creatures.
I’m so incredibly sorry for y’all’s loss and for what y’all are going through. I’m sending so much love and strength and healing energy🙏🏻 She and y’all’s relationship are so beautiful. I’m going to light candles for her and y’all and will keep y’all in my thoughts♥️ The read-a-thon is such a beautiful idea💚💚💚
I am so sorry to hear this Jesse. My heart hurts for you. My father passed almost four years ago, and watching your grief takes me right back to the helplessness and pain I felt and still feel. My grandmother died last week and it has stunned me, all that grief, all that thwarted, blighted love within my troubled family. I cry with you and I'm holding you in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry about your Mum’s passing. The videos with Mum were always so heartwarming. I hope you’re surrounded by supportive people. Sending love and light.
Hey Jesse, I'm so sorry for y'alls lost. I'm not the best with words and don't want to say anything hollow, but I love you and Suki too. I will light a candle for her and pray for her peaceful resting. I always work weekends but I will make it to the readathons even if I have it on my phone in my locker lol💛💛
The very first video I saw on this channel was one right around the time your mother moved in. I grew up living in multi-generational homes, and miss it terribly as an adult who had to move away from family, and the relationship y'all shared was very comforting to see, so I knew I had to subscribe. I was so excited to see that y'all had posted again, only to be devastated to see what the video was about. I cried through this video with y'all and I am so terribly sorry that y'all have to go through this. Right now I am going to go rearrange my November tbr with Suki in mind (and y'all, too, Jesse) and hope for a clear path to mourning, grieving, and healing for y'all.
I'm really sorry Jesse. Grief like that comes in waves and I'm glad you're doing your best to take care of yourself as well as meet your new life. I'll be sure light a candle for her as part of my practice and I'll keep your family in my thoughts. I love your mom's bags. She made beautiful things. Take care of yourself, and I'm happy you're back.
As someone who has lost their parents, I wish I could tell you something positive about the loss of your family and the grief that follows. Unfortunately, I cannot. It hurts in so many different ways as time goes by. I look at some TH-camrs videos with their family, and all I can do is cry knowing that those videos are going to be so very special in their lives when they need to look back at their loved ones that may no longer be alive. Then I chastise myself because I also know that these same TH-camrs would think me foolish for thinking so negatively. If only they knew how true it is. Thank you Jesse for sharing yourself through this part your life journey.
This resonates. For many years now we have taken as many photos and videos with mama as possible. We've always known this day was coming. we wanted to be prepared. and we are so grateful for how aggressively we collected memories with mom.
sending y'all so, so so so much love. i am so sorry. this is so heartbreaking, and i am so sorry that the system failed her. and i thank y'all for being so vulnerable with us by sharing this. ❤
Oh Jesse. I don't have the best relationship witn my parents but I'll be damned if Mama Bowtie's energy and warmth didn't make me feel healed and loved and the way ya'll interacted always brought me so much joy. I just want to hug ya'll omg. 🕯
I'm so sorry, there just aren't words but I am grateful you are finding community here in booktube again. What an incredible idea to host Suki's readathon. Wishing you and your family peace and space to process.
Thank y'all for sharing Suki with us and preparing the readathon in honor of her. May her memory be a blessing, and may blessings reach y'all and y'alls family.
Jesse I have never cried more watching a You Tube video , y’all’s pain is palpable. I lost my mom in July and I am gutted with grief so I understand. Y’all were a wonderful daughter ❤ please please don’t leave You Tube , we are here to support. May sweet Suki RIP , her angel wings taking her away
Jesse, I am soso sorry for y‘all‘s loss. I am sending y‘all‘s family and y‘all so much love. The video you mentioned where y‘all read smut in the bathtub is one of my favourites on y‘all‘s channel too. I vividly remember watching it and laughing so much with y‘all and y‘all‘s mom. I could feel how much fun she had because of y‘all and how much love there was. During this video, the light reflected off the little table behind y‘all and it broke into these beautiful rainbow colours and since Suki was such a party and colourful person, this just somehow felt right and I wanted to point it out. I hope my donation to the gofundme can help even in a small way. I can‘t wait to hold y‘all‘s book in my hands one day ❤️ for now, I‘m excited to read Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan for the readathon for the mom mc and grief prompts!
Deepest sympathies for y'all's loss, Jesse. Love y'all and the light y'all shine so much, I remember when y'all lost your grandmother, and now knowing y'all have lost your mother, my heart breaks for y'all. May each one of us carry y'all through all this change and grief until y'all can step into the next part of your life. The Suki Readathon is the most beautiful initiative you could choose to do, and it will be both inspired and inspiring.
Hey!! As someone who lost their mum and best friend earlier in life, I'm here for you. I'm glad you could talk about that and wanted to share all this with us. I'm so sorry your family has had to go throuth racism and poverty. Those people need to be human or leave society. Of course I'll be participating in Suki's Readathon. Couldn't do otherwise. Also, my partner is not an official dog trainer, but he's amazing with dogs and has trained a few already, so if you want, you can reach out in case there's something we can help with (sorry we don't have a penny at the moment). You know I'm sorry for your loss and I send you huge bear hugs! We surely love u! X
I'm so glad you're coming back to your safe space. I pray you find the comfort you need. We welcome you back with open arms and virtual shoulders to cry on. Grief is really weird, remember to treat yourself kindly
Jesse, I am so sorry for y’all’s loss! I was thinking about y’all the other day and when I saw Mama Bowties passed, I had to light a candle for her 💔 she was such a bright light and I always saw y’all glow when she was on your channel! She was the sweetest and feistiest person I’ve ever seen and my heart is breaking for y’all! Know that she was beloved by many of us and make sure to take the time to grieve her loss. No one can understand the visceral pain grief causes because it destroys your world. Know we are all here for y’all to help pick up the pieces, and I’ll be participating in the readathon in her memory and will do what I can to help y’all 🤍 sending hugs to y’all 🤍
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm 27 and my dad died this summer as well and I think that this is a beautiful way to honor your mom. Grief is funny, its shitty, it comes and goes, and I know it sucks and it'll always will be there. Take everything one day, or even one moment at a time, and it'll get better. Sending hugs and books and peace 💚
Im sending you all my love. You love for your mom really came through in your content as well as her love for you and it was beautiful. Thinking of you and your family.
Dear Jesse, I can’t imagine the depth of what you all feel right now. Losing two such important and beloved people is a weight I know must feel overwhelming, and my heart genuinely goes out to you all. I can feel the love you have for them through every story, every memory you’ve shared, and I hope you can hold onto that love as something timeless. As someone who also finds comfort in books and the connections we share with our pets, I hope you know there are countless pages and paws ready to help you find solace whenever you need it. I see the strength in your voice and your vulnerability, and I admire you deeply for it. You’ve touched so many people, myself included, and we’re all here to hold space for you in whatever way you need. Please lean on us-whether in the quiet moments of the night or the bright ones in the day-because we’re all here with you. Sending you my deepest compassion and respect during this time, and whenever you need. With heartfelt sympathy and love, Chris
Jesse, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You have been randomly popping up in my mind over the past couple of weeks and I guess I know now why. It was so beautiful to see the glimpses you gave to us of your connection to your mom . Sending you all my thoughts, prayers and positive energy.
I'm so sorry Jesse. I've lost both of my parents in the past 3 years, but I was never as close to them and both deaths were foreseeable, so I still can't imagine the pain y'all are feeling. I'm going to pick out some new books for November for y'all and will keep both y'all and Suki in my thoughts
My mother was one of the foundations of my world, and I lost her around a decade ago. It truly is a wound like nothing else, especially when you have to put off your own grief to be everyone else's support. I'm so sorry you're going through that. But for what it's worth, I think the things you're organizing to honor her are truly beautiful. I hope you can find the breathing room to let yourself grieve soon. But even if you can't, even if you have to keep being strong for others - please be gentle with yourself. At least give yourself the freedom to feel what you feel without reservation when it's quiet and no one needs you. Please don't ever feel weak for feeling things. For loving and missing your mother. And don't let anyone else tell you when it's time to move on internally, even if the world demands you put on the show of doing it externally. May Suki rest in peace and love.
Jesse I'm sorry for y'alls loss 😢 losing family absolutely sucks more than anything I lost both my grandparents back in 2016 and things hasn't been the same ever since but the community that I've found on BookTube has been great so I'm thankful for that and i hope it will give y'all a measure of comfort or whatever it is y'all need 💛💛💛 Sending lots of hugs 🫂 and good vibes
I am so SO sorry for your loss. Something I'm trying to come to terms with myself is that my mother will always feel responsible and guilty for us. But one thing I also know, and from the sounds of how you speak of her, there is absolutely no way she is disappointed in you for doing what you need to do, or taking time you need for yourself, or not being where you are. You are a million miles ahead of me and I've six years ahead of you. I'm not trying to be placate, but judging from this--if /when you're ready to speak with her again that energy might be there. But it is one of love, and I hope your own understanding will transcend in ways that it could not when she was with you here in the flesh. I've just had a little more luck so that I haven't been through your experiences. For what it's worth, my mum still gives me head or back rubs at times. She's had several health issues this year, some which are scary as we're still waiting on results, but I absolutely thank the universe every single day she's still here and that these are relatively new developments. I know how lucky I am. rambling done-- what would be more helpful to you in this moment. Necessity wise or spiritually --do not discredit how important your mental health is. Things that feed the soul aren't frivolous. They help us keep going. Donation of direct money or items?
thank you for the rambling. for showing up. for being you. thank you for letting us live your relationship with your momma. having the worst time making choices... thinking is so hard lately. like i'm underwater. 💔 whatever you can do, i'm grateful for. we all are. i can say a bunch of amazon items arrived in the last 3 hours (which seems wicked fast thank you everyone!!!!)
Today, oct 27th, is the 20th anniversary of my mums sudden passing. I was 23. Sudden passings are horrendous and painful and for me left me feeling very unmoored. I am so sorry you are experiencing all you are going through. Take care of yourself and kniw i am sending all the love x
![Dancing for Dollars to Write My Gay $tripper Romance - STUDDENLY In Love [why I left booktube]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-sAXM5-bw_E/mqdefault.jpg)
![Dancing for Dollars to Write My Gay $tripper Romance - STUDDENLY In Love [why I left booktube]](/img/tr.png)
Hearing the love y’all have for Suki … Has inspired me to be a better mother…. My daughter is 15 months old and also feels like an extension of myself…. Wishing y’all so much strength. I don’t think I will be able to participate in the reading sprints (due to time difference and needing to take care of my daughter) but will definitely be donating and reading some of the prompts
printing this and putting on her altar
@@JesseOnTH-camlove y’all ❤️❤️
Your mom isnt a failure, she did her best! It's medical professionals AND systemic ableism/racism, that failed her. I pray, that her spirit is at peace knowing, that you, your brothers and her dogs are all together and that you will be caring for one another now.
💜💜💜
needed this so much.
I'm so so sorry Jesse. I lost both my parents when I was 24. It's not easy, it's really painful. I wish you patience and peace in your grief.
We're holding space for you all. Thank you for letting us witness a part of your family's story. Hoping we get the chance to talk again, even if briefly
Oh Jesse, when y'all said y'all should never let her move back to Michigan, I just wanted to reach through the screen and hug y'all. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so sorry the healthcare system failed her.
Obviously, I never met her in person but loved seeing her in y'all's videos and how much she loved the videos and BookTube. And the snippets of her cooking y'all shared, her food looked so good
You always know just how to hug us
I'll light a candle in her memory for y'all. I lost my mom to cancer about a decade ago. My wife and I had been planning our wedding then, but my mom was fighting a losing battle and wouldn't make it the last few months to the date. We went to the courthouse and signed the papers so she could be there as witness. She passed two weeks later. I won't offer any platitudes, just love.
Thank you for allowing us to witness your history
I'm so sorry Jesse. The community is here to support y'all and your family. Her spirit will always shine through y'all ❤
Oh damn, I'm SO sorry. Fuck health disparities and racism. Sending you my love!
thank you, Penny
Hi Jesse. I don't talk to my mother for many reasons, but I remember seeing a video of yours when she first moved in with you, and thinking about what a lovely relationship you guys had. I am so sorry for your loss, and for everything that has happened. I am so thankful you are coming back to TH-cam and choosing to put your personal health and welfare first. I donated to your gofundme (thank you for sharing it!) and I will be lighting a candle for your mom. Stay strong- there are so many people who care about you and want you to be safe and happy. Love you
This means the world to us. Thank you for your incredible kindness.
Thank you for sharing y'all's vulnerability with us and for opening up your heart and allowing this community to grieve alongside y'all. I feel very humbled to be part of Suki's homegoing. My partner has an altar and we'll light a candle for Suki, and in her honor, I've also happily joined the Heart tier on your Patreon. It just felt like the right thing to do in her memory. I hope y'all find peace and moments of joy and tenderness and healing during this time. I hope y'all know y'all are loved. (That includes you, Suki. I love you!)
Adam
I'm so sorry y'all's mom was so deeply neglected and wronged by the medical system. This readathon is a beautiful way to honour her ❤️
Thank you so much Rachaella :) [did we get your name correct?]
@JesseOnTH-cam Rachaella works! It's my first name (Rachael) and last two initials
Your mom wanted a way out from the pain and suffering. She is no longer in pain and she is no longer suffering. I'm praying for your strength and comfort knowing that your mom is watching over you with the biggest smile on her face. My TBR will be changing for this readathon. *Hugs and Kisses* 🥰🥰🥰💜💜💜🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🫂🫂🫂Mi amor, stay Gold, much gratitude!!!
As someone who also lost my mum unexpectedly and was also preventable, I understand the anger and frustration and utter grief❤ my heart and love is with y'all and y'all's mum's spirit 💚💚
Thank you, Rubi. We appreciate the sense in all of the senselessness.
What an entire tragedy, to lose your mum and to something preventable. Big hugs to you both
Losing my mother in my 30s was so hard, and I didn't have to support anyone.
It's barely been a minute for you, no wonder you are still raw.
I send my spirit out to you, to hold space for you to feel whatever you need.
You are profound and beautiful.
repeated condolences for your mama. I know that was hard. &your spirit is felt. what beautiful things to say to me. thank you.
I'm so sorry, Jesse. Y'all will be in my prayers. 💜💜💜
My condolences to you, your siblings and the dog. Do not sorrow for the joy of the Lord is thy strenght. Nehemiah 8:10
I'm so sorry for y’all’s loss and just wanted to say this channel has brought so much joy and hope. Through that y’all and Suki have affected so many. I hope we in the community can offer some comfort and aid back in return. Also, Suki’s designs look so beautiful.
these words mean a lot to us. we're deeply comforted by you and this community's response
I’m so sorry 😢
Your mom’s bags are beautiful she was very talented. ♥️
I'm so, so sorry. It's so hard to try to be grieving when there are so many things you have to do immediately because of the death. Sending you all the love, and I'll be thinking of you and your mom and your family.
I know this is a little late but this type of pain doesn’t fade. I’m so sorry Jesse. I could feel your pain throughout this video and cried with you. As someone who is also super close with my mom, it’s one of my biggest fears and I can’t imagine. It sounds like you and your mom were soulmates, y’all were meant to be her child. Please be gentle with yourself.❤
I’m so sorry Jesse 😭 I don’t even have the words, I’m just so sorry that y’all are dealing with this right now. I’m sending y’all the biggest bear hug 😭❤️
Thank you Gabby
I am so, so, so, so sorry. This is absolutely heartbreaking. The way you speak about her, though, is so warm and so full of love, and that warmth will stay with y'all forever. The impact she clearly made on y'all is so special. ♥ Sending all the love and will support where I can.
Thank you so much, this means the world.
Oh, Jesse. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your incredible mom. I deeply felt and related to the truth that society doesn't care about anything except capitalism. As a chronically disabled adult myself, I totally get that. I'm thinking of you and your family and sending y'all so much love and comfort. If I have some extra 💸 left over after I'm paid this week and my bills are all set, I'll definitely contribute to your family's needs! ❤🩹✨Rest well, Suki. ✨
Thank you, Megan. You are magic
I’m so sorry for your loss. I admire your strength and your vulnerability. Sending love to you and your brothers 💕
Grief is hard and y’all are so brave for confronting it and living with it. I sent the book - I’m glad that it helped in some small way. I’m thinking of Suki, and also of y’all and your family.
We were squeezing that book yesterday!!!!! Cannot thank you enough for it and the ideas you sparked. It's now a sacred text 🤍🕯️ thank u for loving us
I'm so sorry to hear of your deep loss Jesse as well as your family's. I lost my person, my Dad, very unexpectedly and although logically I understood what was happening it felt like my heart and my entire body was screaming no. I don't know how you feel because no one can but I know grief is more painful than words and that it has felt like the only pain I couldn't just make better. That the level of grief felt equal to the depths of love. I will light a candle for Suki and hope that you can feel some small measure of peace and comfort knowing that you are surrounded by love and community. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You deserve to have your pain acknowledged. You deserve to have the space you need to cry, rage, laugh, remember. We're holding you Jesse.
🫂🤍
Wow I am so in awe of Suki's creations, her bags are beautiful and it excites me to hear you plan on continuing to launch her business!!! I am sending Suki prayers of love ❤️ and hope she hears from us how much she is loved and she is at peace.
Yall lit up around her, losing someone so close is devastating. Im so incredibly sorry. Grief hits in waves but I’m praying yall are surrounded by loved ones who will nurture and care for y’all’s heart. Work through this in the best way yall can. And cherish the memories, videos, pictures, and ways her spirit will show up around yall. She will always show up, she’s not gone 🐞🕯️
🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞 🐞
we love you too, Capri.
Hiiiiiiii Jesse! I’ve missed y’all so much and I’m sending y’all so much much love and healing energy❤️❤️❤️ Mama Bowties’s love will always be felt and remembered! She was amazing in life and she’ll be amazing as an ancestor!!!
You're so wonderful!! Screenshot this for her altar 🤍
I lost my two brothers about a month ago and was so surprised when I saw these videos of yours pop up. I am sure everyone has said it but here is another shoulder if you ever want to talk. We enjoyed your mom and sure will join in and do what I can.
Rally 💓 we are here too, just dm us on ig or email us. Our heart is with yall.
My condolences, Jesse - I am so sorry.
There is nothing I could say to help with the pain or that hasn't already been said, but y'alls love for your ancestors, and y'alls family, especially y'alls mom, shines so, so bright. Grieve as hard as y'all must, it is the only way forward. Y'alls community will remember her with y'all
sending y’all so much love. the little bits of her y’all shared over time were so beautiful and she was such a bright light, even through a screen. lighting a candle for her today🕯️💖
Words cannot even begin to describe what y'all, your brother, and your family are going through. I'm so so so so sorry, Jesse.
When I think of an iconic, close close child and mother bond, y'all and your mom definitely come to mind
Iconic 😭 🤍
Thank you, dear friend
Jesse, I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent is the hardest. I have been thinking and asking about y'all for months and I'm so sorry this was the reason. My heart is with y'all and your family, words are not enough.
Thank you for loving us, Melanie
I’m sorry for your loss. We can only take things one day at a time. Prayers for you and your family. 🧡🧡
Thank you Ezra 🤍
💜💜 Thank y'all for being so vulnerable. This was difficult for me to watch as I lost my dad earlier this year and it has been a freaking struggle. Sending y'all all the positive vibes and love in the world. Y'all got this, Jesse!
I'm so sorry for your loss, and everything you're going through right now. This all sounds extremely difficult, and my heart goes out to you. I know the weight on your shoulders right now must feel immense. I feel angry and upset for you and your mom that she passed from something preventable. I was worried when you disappeared from TH-cam, and have continued to check back for new videos. Thank you for providing multiple ways for us to help support your family. 🤍
Jesse, I am so very sorry to hear about your Moms passing. Please be kind to yourself. Grief is so unpredictable.
Jess thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing about Suki. That love is strong and it is palpable. My heart goes out to y'all, I will do my best to participate in the readathon but more importantly sending that love and messages to Suki ❤️
i love you all. y'all's whole family. thankful for all the times I got a glimpse at Suki's brilliance
💔 I cried with you this whole video. May her good memories live on forever. I’m sorry for this injustice
So sorry for your loss Jesse. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you, ebony
Your mother sounds like such a beautiful, loving soul, and you clearly brought each other so much joy. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
Just subbed to your channel, because I felt this video in my bones. (I was born 2nd of four siblings, and I'm the only one still alive. My youngest sibling [and my lifelong bestie] died just before 2020 of a previously undetected heart condition that probably would have been detected if they weren't so [justifiably] afraid of [and mistreated by] the healthcare system being a trans enby).
In case you need to hear this, because there were times when I absolutely needed to hear it: if all you did today is survive, that's enough. You are enough, you are loved, it's okay for your grief to take up as much time and space as you need. Your anger is valid. You deserve self tenderness.
I'm holding you in my heart and thoughts, and I truly, sincerely wish you and your family comfort, strength, safety, and the space to process.
Let me tell you this right now. We control what we can and we cannot control everything. Your mother was beautiful. She was loved. Your existence is a beautiful tribute to your mother. I wish you peace and I hope that you are able to take the time you need to deal with your exponential loss. The love that you have for your mother is so visceral, no one could dispute that. Please focus some of that love toward yourself through this time. She would want that and we all want that for you. You can move forward and your angel will be watching over you, cheering you on.
this comment, these words, you - the most beautiful thing 💐
Lighting a candle for her on my Día de Muertos altar now. So sorry to hear this. Can't imagine how hard this is for you. I also have fibromyalgia and would've loved to have an advocate like you. And about to pick up crochet again in memory of her. R.I.P.
Feliz dia de Los muertos 🤍🥳 Suki thanks you 🤍happy Suki's readathon!
Jesse .. I lost my dad at 15 and ever since then my mom and I have been a “TEAM” , I fear the day I’ll have to say goodbye to her because I’m 26 now and still not “over” my dad passing away.. any book that has a single parent and kid TEAM I’m already bawling.. seeing y’all cry had me bawling because it hurts so Fucking bad to lose your partner in crime.. I know Suki would’ve loved seeing the videos for this readathon with y’all ❤ .. Take care Jesse .
P.S. your dog reaching out to you when you’re in distress is so heartwarming
I am so so sorry for y'all's grief
I am so sorry for your loss Jesse, I'd say I couldn't imagine what you are going through except it's palpable how devastated you are with ever breath you take, even through a video. A couple BookTubers had started doing 'Most Anticipated' lists for 2025 and that reminded me that I hadn't seen your videos in a while. I was looking for a new Patreon to support in the new year and yours sounds perfect, no need to worry about being an inconsistent poster cause I'm constantly distracted and forget to check-in so your posts will be a happy surprise for the both of us. Sending you good vibes that you and your brother will find steady work, a safe new space to live, and comfort in each other. Please take time to prioritize your grief and mental health. And while I missed out on Suki's initial read-a-thon I'm looking forward to the Galentine's day celebration.
😭 ur so wonderful
Losing your grandmother and mother, my goodness. You are SO strong! I don't have the words, but know that you are loved.
you just made me feel so loved, Brooke, you're a gift.
Dear Jesse- I extend my sincere condolences. I have been checking for you. So Glad YOU ARE BACK!
Jesse I am just a random human who watches you on the internet. But my heart is breaking for ya'll. Please continue to tell your community (us) of your needs. I have made some small contributions and hope to continue to be able to. Sending you so much love sweet human.
I’m so so unbelievably sorry for y’all. I’m a longtime viewer and always loved when Mama Bowties would show up in a video. ❣️
I’ll light a candle for y'alls mom tonight. Please know a lot of strangers on the internet are sending y'all so many hugs and will keep Mama Bowties in our heart. ❤ Sending love, comfort and hugs from California.
That truly means so much, thank you 🙏🏽
Also it just hits diff when someone who rarely comments does so. Thank you, Kelsey
@@JesseOnTH-cam ❤️
I'm so very sorry for your loss Jesse. I'll light a candle for Suki and sending so much love to y'all
thank you, Josie
i've been lighting candles for mama bowties ever since I heard of her passing from your ig.
I'm glad y'all gave us the chance to get to know her through y'alls channel and reels.
I'm sure I don't speak only of myself, but y'alls mama was loved, and I'm sure she'll continued to be loved even in her passing.
sending love and strength y'alls way. will definitely join the suki readathon
we were unprepared to receive such tenderness
I'm so sorry for ya'll's loss. Losing a mom is one of the worst things. My mom died of cancer that also could have been prevented if she had had the money and resources to get care early. I hate how broken our healthcare system is and everything else that's supposed to support our disabled selves and loved ones. I'm glad we are able to participate by being a Patreon and also by joining your readathon. Mom's are very special creatures.
Our heart. 💔 it's a sad but powerful club to be in - not just losing a mom but to medical and systematic oppression. Senseless
We found out she had a lung test with the pulmonologist the day before she died and it came back normal 💔
I’m so incredibly sorry for y’all’s loss and for what y’all are going through. I’m sending so much love and strength and healing energy🙏🏻 She and y’all’s relationship are so beautiful. I’m going to light candles for her and y’all and will keep y’all in my thoughts♥️ The read-a-thon is such a beautiful idea💚💚💚
Thank you Dana
I am deeply sorry Jesse. I hope yall are okay and missed seeing your videos. Please take care ❤❤❤
I am so sorry to hear this Jesse. My heart hurts for you. My father passed almost four years ago, and watching your grief takes me right back to the helplessness and pain I felt and still feel. My grandmother died last week and it has stunned me, all that grief, all that thwarted, blighted love within my troubled family. I cry with you and I'm holding you in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry about your Mum’s passing. The videos with Mum were always so heartwarming. I hope you’re surrounded by supportive people. Sending love and light.
Hey Jesse, I'm so sorry for y'alls lost. I'm not the best with words and don't want to say anything hollow, but I love you and Suki too. I will light a candle for her and pray for her peaceful resting. I always work weekends but I will make it to the readathons even if I have it on my phone in my locker lol💛💛
I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost both of my parents in July. It is so surreal and unbelievable to say the least. My heart goes out to you.
T
The very first video I saw on this channel was one right around the time your mother moved in. I grew up living in multi-generational homes, and miss it terribly as an adult who had to move away from family, and the relationship y'all shared was very comforting to see, so I knew I had to subscribe. I was so excited to see that y'all had posted again, only to be devastated to see what the video was about. I cried through this video with y'all and I am so terribly sorry that y'all have to go through this. Right now I am going to go rearrange my November tbr with Suki in mind (and y'all, too, Jesse) and hope for a clear path to mourning, grieving, and healing for y'all.
I'm really sorry Jesse. Grief like that comes in waves and I'm glad you're doing your best to take care of yourself as well as meet your new life. I'll be sure light a candle for her as part of my practice and I'll keep your family in my thoughts. I love your mom's bags. She made beautiful things. Take care of yourself, and I'm happy you're back.
Jessica, she loves this!!! thank you :)
As someone who has lost their parents, I wish I could tell you something positive about the loss of your family and the grief that follows. Unfortunately, I cannot. It hurts in so many different ways as time goes by. I look at some TH-camrs videos with their family, and all I can do is cry knowing that those videos are going to be so very special in their lives when they need to look back at their loved ones that may no longer be alive. Then I chastise myself because I also know that these same TH-camrs would think me foolish for thinking so negatively. If only they knew how true it is. Thank you Jesse for sharing yourself through this part your life journey.
This resonates. For many years now we have taken as many photos and videos with mama as possible. We've always known this day was coming. we wanted to be prepared. and we are so grateful for how aggressively we collected memories with mom.
❤ i wish your heart heals and that you feel your mothers everlasting embrace. So so sorry
sending y'all so, so so so much love. i am so sorry. this is so heartbreaking, and i am so sorry that the system failed her. and i thank y'all for being so vulnerable with us by sharing this. ❤
Oh Jesse. I don't have the best relationship witn my parents but I'll be damned if Mama Bowtie's energy and warmth didn't make me feel healed and loved and the way ya'll interacted always brought me so much joy. I just want to hug ya'll omg. 🕯
One day we can hug, let's manifest 🪄
Jesse I’m so sorry for y’all and y’all’s familia. Praying for y’all and everyone who loved y’all’s mother.
Thank you Jonnie
I'm so sorry, there just aren't words but I am grateful you are finding community here in booktube again. What an incredible idea to host Suki's readathon. Wishing you and your family peace and space to process.
Thank you
Thank y'all for sharing Suki with us and preparing the readathon in honor of her. May her memory be a blessing, and may blessings reach y'all and y'alls family.
Thank you, friend. The love you've sent is felt.
Jesse I have never cried more watching a You Tube video , y’all’s pain is palpable. I lost my mom in July and I am gutted with grief so I understand. Y’all were a wonderful daughter ❤ please please don’t leave You Tube , we are here to support. May sweet Suki RIP , her angel wings taking her away
Thank you x34
Please say hi anytime, we're trying to foster connections with other grieving folk
Condolences in sincerity. You are loved.
Jesse, I am soso sorry for y‘all‘s loss. I am sending y‘all‘s family and y‘all so much love. The video you mentioned where y‘all read smut in the bathtub is one of my favourites on y‘all‘s channel too. I vividly remember watching it and laughing so much with y‘all and y‘all‘s mom. I could feel how much fun she had because of y‘all and how much love there was. During this video, the light reflected off the little table behind y‘all and it broke into these beautiful rainbow colours and since Suki was such a party and colourful person, this just somehow felt right and I wanted to point it out.
I hope my donation to the gofundme can help even in a small way. I can‘t wait to hold y‘all‘s book in my hands one day ❤️ for now, I‘m excited to read Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan for the readathon for the mom mc and grief prompts!
Saved this message for her altar. It's a beautiful offering. Thank you
The world will miss the beautiful, strong woman that was Suki.
I'm so sorry, Jesse. May your mother rest well ❤
thank you, old friend.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother was a wonderful woman and I am sorry that your workplace was not supportive.
Thank you, friend. we all appreciate it. and you
Deepest sympathies for y'all's loss, Jesse. Love y'all and the light y'all shine so much, I remember when y'all lost your grandmother, and now knowing y'all have lost your mother, my heart breaks for y'all. May each one of us carry y'all through all this change and grief until y'all can step into the next part of your life. The Suki Readathon is the most beautiful initiative you could choose to do, and it will be both inspired and inspiring.
EM
Hey!! As someone who lost their mum and best friend earlier in life, I'm here for you. I'm glad you could talk about that and wanted to share all this with us.
I'm so sorry your family has had to go throuth racism and poverty. Those people need to be human or leave society.
Of course I'll be participating in Suki's Readathon. Couldn't do otherwise.
Also, my partner is not an official dog trainer, but he's amazing with dogs and has trained a few already, so if you want, you can reach out in case there's something we can help with (sorry we don't have a penny at the moment).
You know I'm sorry for your loss and I send you huge bear hugs!
We surely love u! X
I'm so glad you're coming back to your safe space. I pray you find the comfort you need. We welcome you back with open arms and virtual shoulders to cry on. Grief is really weird, remember to treat yourself kindly
🤍🫂 what a beautiful fxng comment
Jesse, I am so sorry for y’all’s loss! I was thinking about y’all the other day and when I saw Mama Bowties passed, I had to light a candle for her 💔 she was such a bright light and I always saw y’all glow when she was on your channel! She was the sweetest and feistiest person I’ve ever seen and my heart is breaking for y’all! Know that she was beloved by many of us and make sure to take the time to grieve her loss. No one can understand the visceral pain grief causes because it destroys your world. Know we are all here for y’all to help pick up the pieces, and I’ll be participating in the readathon in her memory and will do what I can to help y’all 🤍 sending hugs to y’all 🤍
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm 27 and my dad died this summer as well and I think that this is a beautiful way to honor your mom. Grief is funny, its shitty, it comes and goes, and I know it sucks and it'll always will be there. Take everything one day, or even one moment at a time, and it'll get better. Sending hugs and books and peace 💚
Casey
@@JesseOnTH-cam Byron, that would mean a lot. Thank you!
I'm so sorry Jess. I wish I could be there with you and hug you. I can't begin to imagine your grief. Your mom was such a strong woman.❤
aww Nick
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some comfort and peace in your time of grief.
there has been so much comfort and love. its helping every moment.
My deepest condolences, Jesse. I hope she’s no longer in any pain and that you’re able to grieve in peace with all your loved ones around you.
thank you, Lily
Sending ❤
Im sending you all my love. You love for your mom really came through in your content as well as her love for you and it was beautiful. Thinking of you and your family.
Thank you, Amy
Dear Jesse,
I can’t imagine the depth of what you all feel right now. Losing two such important and beloved people is a weight I know must feel overwhelming, and my heart genuinely goes out to you all. I can feel the love you have for them through every story, every memory you’ve shared, and I hope you can hold onto that love as something timeless.
As someone who also finds comfort in books and the connections we share with our pets, I hope you know there are countless pages and paws ready to help you find solace whenever you need it. I see the strength in your voice and your vulnerability, and I admire you deeply for it. You’ve touched so many people, myself included, and we’re all here to hold space for you in whatever way you need.
Please lean on us-whether in the quiet moments of the night or the bright ones in the day-because we’re all here with you. Sending you my deepest compassion and respect during this time, and whenever you need.
With heartfelt sympathy and love,
Chris
We needed this.
My condolences for your loss. 💚
Jesse, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You have been randomly popping up in my mind over the past couple of weeks and I guess I know now why. It was so beautiful to see the glimpses you gave to us of your connection to your mom . Sending you all my thoughts, prayers and positive energy.
thank you so much. it is good to be thought of and seen. we appreciate knowing we have that connection to you
Whilst I have missed your content, I'm so glad that y'all took the time to grieve. Sending my love to y'all and your family
Oh Abi
I'm so sorry Jesse. I've lost both of my parents in the past 3 years, but I was never as close to them and both deaths were foreseeable, so I still can't imagine the pain y'all are feeling. I'm going to pick out some new books for November for y'all and will keep both y'all and Suki in my thoughts
Thank you so much, for being here and for sharing. Thank you.
I am so sorry 💜💜
Sending you love and prayers. ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you Jazz
@@JesseOnTH-cam you’re welcome.
I'm sorry for your loss. I couldn't watch the video as I just had a family member pass away recently. I just want to send condolences.
My mother was one of the foundations of my world, and I lost her around a decade ago. It truly is a wound like nothing else, especially when you have to put off your own grief to be everyone else's support. I'm so sorry you're going through that. But for what it's worth, I think the things you're organizing to honor her are truly beautiful. I hope you can find the breathing room to let yourself grieve soon. But even if you can't, even if you have to keep being strong for others - please be gentle with yourself. At least give yourself the freedom to feel what you feel without reservation when it's quiet and no one needs you. Please don't ever feel weak for feeling things. For loving and missing your mother. And don't let anyone else tell you when it's time to move on internally, even if the world demands you put on the show of doing it externally. May Suki rest in peace and love.
Jesse I'm sorry for y'alls loss 😢 losing family absolutely sucks more than anything I lost both my grandparents back in 2016 and things hasn't been the same ever since but the community that I've found on BookTube has been great so I'm thankful for that and i hope it will give y'all a measure of comfort or whatever it is y'all need 💛💛💛 Sending lots of hugs 🫂 and good vibes
i’m so sorry. sudden passings are so hard. i hope y’all are holding up as best as you can ❤
Thank you Kay :) We're doing aight :)
I am so SO sorry for your loss. Something I'm trying to come to terms with myself is that my mother will always feel responsible and guilty for us. But one thing I also know, and from the sounds of how you speak of her, there is absolutely no way she is disappointed in you for doing what you need to do, or taking time you need for yourself, or not being where you are. You are a million miles ahead of me and I've six years ahead of you. I'm not trying to be placate, but judging from this--if /when you're ready to speak with her again that energy might be there. But it is one of love, and I hope your own understanding will transcend in ways that it could not when she was with you here in the flesh.
I've just had a little more luck so that I haven't been through your experiences. For what it's worth, my mum still gives me head or back rubs at times. She's had several health issues this year, some which are scary as we're still waiting on results, but I absolutely thank the universe every single day she's still here and that these are relatively new developments. I know how lucky I am.
rambling done-- what would be more helpful to you in this moment. Necessity wise or spiritually --do not discredit how important your mental health is. Things that feed the soul aren't frivolous. They help us keep going. Donation of direct money or items?
thank you for the rambling. for showing up. for being you. thank you for letting us live your relationship with your momma. having the worst time making choices... thinking is so hard lately. like i'm underwater. 💔 whatever you can do, i'm grateful for. we all are.
i can say a bunch of amazon items arrived in the last 3 hours (which seems wicked fast thank you everyone!!!!)
Today, oct 27th, is the 20th anniversary of my mums sudden passing. I was 23. Sudden passings are horrendous and painful and for me left me feeling very unmoored. I am so sorry you are experiencing all you are going through. Take care of yourself and kniw i am sending all the love x
Respect on you and your mum's name. Putting the biggest spiritual hug on you both, Angela.
She matters. 🕯️🤍
I am so deeply sorry about your mom. I am sending you love and comfort. My mom passed away in 2023. It is devastating to experience this loss.
We're so sorry Danielle.such pain. my heart is with you. its unfair. words don't even express.
I’m so sorry 🩷