A former coworker of mine is black and would fake accents with customers just to make us laugh sometimes. Until one day, he turned to assist one customer who basically looked like Terry Crews - the dude was huge, and he greeted him with a British accent. The plot twist? This customer WAS BRITISH! The worst part? The customer was stoked to meet another British man of colour and referred to him as “my black British brother.” Said coworker had to keep up the accent the entire interaction and anytime this guy ever came back to see us for assistance. We roasted him after the customer left and he flat out said “Bruh, if I slip up, that man is going to eat me!”
when i was little, my sisters and i used to do British accents. one time, she put it on Snapchat and this guy replied saying that he was so happy to see other British people. she had to tell him we were just faking the accent 😭
It could be 100% anonymous and you still couldn't waterboard anything like this out of me, I can't tell if I'm horrified or impressed by the lack of shame here.
My boyfriend and I actually frequently book a table at classy expensive restaurants and get fake engaged all the time for freebies or comped meals It’s actually so genius
Honestly Joe is right about the strategy of saying something homophobic (as a gay person) to weed out the actual homophobes. Great way to assess whether a person is safe to come out to depending on their response :)
It'll also weed out people pleasers who will just go “yeah, I guess” because they’re too scared to argue and will just think you’re a homophobe forever
@@jadebel7006 ? I think it's pretty standard conversation skills to bring something up casually, example "did you hear x is gay?" If they respond positively or unbothered, chances are they're also cool with you being gay
3:49 had a coworker do this to mess with the international hires. He was fully American, but spoke with an Australian accent around the international hires. One time got caught slipping and covered it by saying “sometimes I forget I’m Australian”. Don’t know if he ever fessed up to them, buts funny to think about how confused some of the international hires must have been when they heard him speak normally 😅
Nutty, in about 6 hours I’m going to hear Joe’s voice live and in person. Been 10 years since I wandered into the basement and I’ve had the time of my life. So proud of him. Ok. I’m done. 💜
@@mase60391Shmeddie walked out and danced to ‘Not Like Us’. Ahmed is hilarious and should do stand up bc he owned that stage. Greg came in and pulled an audience member to do 2 truths and a lie with Ahmed. Then our two hero’s came on the stage and let me tell you- we roared for a good 3 mins. Then they just talked about random shit. But THIS time you could be in on the conversation. Frank did a bit where his mic “went out” then came back as Francesco for Slam Poetry insert* snapping fingers. If they talk about LA they might mention Chile aka Joaquin for cup flip. I’ll let them talk about him. It was over all a great show from beginning to end. Oh! They read the audience stories about 3somes with brothers, a date stabbing, being felt up at the holocaust Museum. 🙈 so yeah. A typical day at the basement yard. 🤭🤭🤭 Joe thanked us at the end and that was that. 💜
The work from home one is infuriating because as a barista I see this EVERY SINGLE DAY and they make so much money. Post pandemic those jobs aren’t hiring as often or at all and I’m fully post secondary educated making coffee for around minimum wage as full salaried and benefitted government workers play solitaire and watch love island. I worked in government contracts and I literally watched the office for tenured workers to go for two hour lunches coming back drunk or spending hours trying on each others old clothes or quite literally just leaving half way through the day. So frustrating.
I work in fast food and I feel your pain. At my store, we work our asses off, and meanwhile I've had friends who worked from home and would literally play video games and mess around with friends on Discord when they were supposed to be doing their job. And then they look down on people who actually work hard!
@@Kintsugi23 It's hard for me to understand why people have a stereotype about food service workers being lazy or unskilled. Just because a job doesn't require a college degree and doesn't pay well doesn't mean the job isn't hard. Working food service was the hardest job I ever had, and I had to quit after three months because I could not keep up. Thankfully I found a job in a trade that fit my skillset much better, but my god, I'm glad I don't work there anymore. They'd talk jokingly about how every employee on their first couple weeks commonly cried in the walk-in fridge feeling overwhelmed.
Mangoes Mangoes are a special fruit Mangoes can also be super cute Mangoes make me feel happy mangoes can make also make you feel crappy Mangoes can fill a special void Mangoes can make you feel annoyed Mangoes don’t come in a pair Mangoes are actually everywhere
@@cic6002theres one at the theme park a few miles away from me, and I can confirm it does this to a lot of women. Every girl that I know that has gone on it has talked about how it feels REALLY weird. I don’t go on it because that feeling along with the feeling of wanting to throw up is too much to handle, but some people I know go on it a lot because it feels good for them
6:30 he said "i've been dating for 4years" 4years is a long time maybe its about expected around that timeish unless youve talked about it before. also a "RING" is not a piece of jewelry you give someone without deeper meanings go for the necklace or earrings not a ring
For the guy who fakes a british accent: when people move here from out of the country, it’s normal for them to transition into an american accent overtime since that’s what everyone around you sounds like. Just slowly drop the accent & switch back to your normal one. They might notice in the end, but if you use this as a reason, it’ll make sense to them.
I get the poop one. My 14 year old legit went a few months on a solid diet of chips and frozen burritos....no water. This kid would take dumps so large and solid that I needed to buy a couple different tools to unclog. One had a metal claw on the end that we sometimes needed to literally pick at the poop to break it away in chunks. It wasn't clogging the tube in between, but getting lodged on the bottom before dropping into the sewage line. So I kept telling his mom over and over it's his shitty diet, and he'd complain about needing to unclog it every time he went so she'd tell him the same thing. Eventually he had a wellness check and the doctor said the same thing. Kid still didn't listen and I stopped caring after a while (I'm step dad so I'm definitely not being listened to at that age). Anyway, he had one so large I could hear him struggling and he eventually started calling out to his mom. She told him from the door, nothing I can do. Maybe stop eating junk and drink some damn water! Guess it hurt bad enough he cut the bad diet. This kid even managed to clog a few commercial toilets with super high pressure water.
Oh it is absolutely possible for a human to unleash that much poop. I had to go to the hospital for severe constipation once (I was so backed up I had to get an enema) and the amount that I was able to get out afterwards was crazy
People forget out intestines are coiled up inside us but they’re actually between 15-25 feet long depending on the person. Imagine how much clay you could smush down into a 20’ tube while leaving it still bendable and flexible. That’s how much poop your body can hold.
i went hunting w my dad years ago. he brought a quad…. had an O on the back of the quad with my dad on it too. that rollercoaster confession brought that horrific memory back. thanks!
Baiting homophobes into leaving the cruise ship is genius. The only concern I would have is that the ones who stay will now be extra vigilant where they might not otherwise be.
Sometimes, if people don't go to the bathroom for a few days, it can clog the toilet when you finally go. I used to have that problem when I was a kid. But I can tell you for a fact that I never took 5 or 6 lb shits. That guy in the video had a big eating disorder to create shits *THAT* huge after just one day. Thank God he didn't wait several days. Otherwise, the resulting shit would have split him open!
I'm not gonna lie that one pissed me off lol. I'm working my ass off and clearly do a better job than everyone at my company but I don't make nearly what I know I'm worth... Oh well good for that guy😂
This was one of the funniest things I've ever listened to. I have my own funny confession that always gets a funny reaction. And now that's it's been years after the statue of limitations has run out I tell people it if that kind of conversation comes up as to what was one of thr craziest things you've done in your life.
Also the working from home and barely doing anything is relatable. I work from home and do 4 10 hour workdays and half the week I don’t do much. Some days I’m slammed but other days I can kick back and relax. I used to feel guilty about this too but my therapist told me once that the transition to working from home showed a lot of people that there’s not necessarily 8 (or in my case 10) hours of work to do in a day and a lot of people do what I do too
2:00 - as someone who has had some terrible diarrhea days. it is totally possible to clog your toilet with mostly feces. gotta get one of them industrial strength toilets, in order to avoid that happening.
Neither of us is proud of this moment, but my now fiance actually did just put my engagement ring on the table and had it waiting for me after I came from the bathroom. No words. I asked if I had to open it there or if I could wait and I waited until the car. It was a terrible proposal and also unexpected.
Depending on the company, it isn’t that difficult to have a role where you’re not busy and no one notices. I’ve had one where I had a few tasks I did but most of the day I did nothing.
Buffalo-sized shit coming from a “human” is a thing, I’ve seen one. I was shocked, disbelieving, and a little impressed. It was like going through the 5 stages of grief 😂 🤯
"I have a fetish for people crying"
Joe: "lock em up!"
😂
that was my favorite part!😂
A former coworker of mine is black and would fake accents with customers just to make us laugh sometimes. Until one day, he turned to assist one customer who basically looked like Terry Crews - the dude was huge, and he greeted him with a British accent. The plot twist? This customer WAS BRITISH! The worst part? The customer was stoked to meet another British man of colour and referred to him as “my black British brother.” Said coworker had to keep up the accent the entire interaction and anytime this guy ever came back to see us for assistance. We roasted him after the customer left and he flat out said “Bruh, if I slip up, that man is going to eat me!”
That’s hilarious 😂😂😂
THATS SO FUNNY AND TERRIBLE 😭😭
when i was little, my sisters and i used to do British accents. one time, she put it on Snapchat and this guy replied saying that he was so happy to see other British people. she had to tell him we were just faking the accent 😭
“take it easy, columbus” 🤣🤣
I don’t believe the first few stories, no one poops 5 pounds!
the accidental marriage was wholesome and even better that they are married continuing 15 years
Mission failed successfully?
Guy with the fake accent: Fake some head trauma and claim it knocked the accent out of you.
Or come clean like Ross Geller. But only after poorly trying to faze out the accent.
Or gaslight everyone and say you never had an accent
I was going to say, tell them you're working on your American accent
@@ChopChopChop111YES
Did I actually just watch a 15 minute video on TH-cam with no sponsorship breaks... Mind blown.
Thanks, Joe! That was refreshing...
That crying one is actually the saddest, nicest, and weirdest thing I’ve heard in a while
lol “turn down the volume!?” 😂
It could be 100% anonymous and you still couldn't waterboard anything like this out of me, I can't tell if I'm horrified or impressed by the lack of shame here.
Even anonymously, I'd never share secrets like this, fuck all that noise😂
My boyfriend and I actually frequently book a table at classy expensive restaurants and get fake engaged all the time for freebies or comped meals
It’s actually so genius
It is genius, but at the same time the restaurants are going to catch on and then nobody’s going to get anything for free
Honestly Joe is right about the strategy of saying something homophobic (as a gay person) to weed out the actual homophobes. Great way to assess whether a person is safe to come out to depending on their response :)
Yep. If someone doesn't wanna go on holiday because there will be gays there, fuck 'em. They deserve to miss out.
It'll also weed out people pleasers who will just go “yeah, I guess” because they’re too scared to argue and will just think you’re a homophobe forever
@@jadebel7006 ? I think it's pretty standard conversation skills to bring something up casually, example "did you hear x is gay?" If they respond positively or unbothered, chances are they're also cool with you being gay
@@jadebel7006 THAT is the d×mbest thing I've ever heard.. ppl are sheeeep , they just repeat what other ppl say just to fit in.
@@shia_labeouf No THAT is the d×mbest thing I've ever heard.. ppl are sheeeep , they just repeat what other ppl say just to fit in.
Accidental engagement man should get a new ring and propose again and renew their vows, do it right this time!!
Keith laughing in the background is icing on the cake😂
I always thought that was Greg laughing in the background lol
@@Jack-nj9piit’s 100% Greg. I think he produces the show or does whatever behind the scenes.
Thats Greg my man
“Who’s driving the boat, Magellan?”
The kid’s on fire in this one
As someone that worked at a rollercoaster park, you would be surprised what the guests do... You would be more surprised by what the employees do.
The cruise guy is a gd genius 😂
11:48 how to get revenge on homophobes
3:49 had a coworker do this to mess with the international hires. He was fully American, but spoke with an Australian accent around the international hires. One time got caught slipping and covered it by saying “sometimes I forget I’m Australian”. Don’t know if he ever fessed up to them, buts funny to think about how confused some of the international hires must have been when they heard him speak normally 😅
Nutty, in about 6 hours I’m going to hear Joe’s voice live and in person. Been 10 years since I wandered into the basement and I’ve had the time of my life. So proud of him. Ok. I’m done. 💜
Come back here and tell us how it went
@@mase60391ok dope. For sure.
@@mase60391Shmeddie walked out and danced to ‘Not Like Us’. Ahmed is hilarious and should do stand up bc he owned that stage. Greg came in and pulled an audience member to do 2 truths and a lie with Ahmed. Then our two hero’s came on the stage and let me tell you- we roared for a good 3 mins. Then they just talked about random shit. But THIS time you could be in on the conversation. Frank did a bit where his mic “went out” then came back as Francesco for Slam Poetry insert* snapping fingers. If they talk about LA they might mention Chile aka Joaquin for cup flip. I’ll let them talk about him. It was over all a great show from beginning to end. Oh! They read the audience stories about 3somes with brothers, a date stabbing, being felt up at the holocaust Museum. 🙈 so yeah. A typical day at the basement yard. 🤭🤭🤭 Joe thanked us at the end and that was that. 💜
I love SOOOO quick to say "lock him up" but AFTER the story had all these suggestions on what to do😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Voice crack while saying "wanking" is fuckin wild dawg😂😂😂
I absolutely love hearing Joe read these and figure out what people are feeling and hearing Greg die laughing in the background
Joe is like a Wild Confession Magnet lol
"... like a bad bouncer"
😂😂😂😂😂
You are so amazingly practical down to earth and vulgar! What a mix! You are so much fun LOL.
“That thing is going to be tired and probably let everything through the door , like a bad bouncer.” 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭💀💀💀
That hot sauce in the background just keeps getting darker and darker lmao
The work from home one is infuriating because as a barista I see this EVERY SINGLE DAY and they make so much money. Post pandemic those jobs aren’t hiring as often or at all and I’m fully post secondary educated making coffee for around minimum wage as full salaried and benefitted government workers play solitaire and watch love island. I worked in government contracts and I literally watched the office for tenured workers to go for two hour lunches coming back drunk or spending hours trying on each others old clothes or quite literally just leaving half way through the day. So frustrating.
Sorry that one triggered my own issues😂💀
I work in fast food and I feel your pain. At my store, we work our asses off, and meanwhile I've had friends who worked from home and would literally play video games and mess around with friends on Discord when they were supposed to be doing their job. And then they look down on people who actually work hard!
@@Kintsugi23 1000% they’re usually the entitled customers!
@@Kintsugi23 It's hard for me to understand why people have a stereotype about food service workers being lazy or unskilled. Just because a job doesn't require a college degree and doesn't pay well doesn't mean the job isn't hard. Working food service was the hardest job I ever had, and I had to quit after three months because I could not keep up. Thankfully I found a job in a trade that fit my skillset much better, but my god, I'm glad I don't work there anymore. They'd talk jokingly about how every employee on their first couple weeks commonly cried in the walk-in fridge feeling overwhelmed.
Raise Your Hand If You Like Joe✋🏻
Ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about mangos
Mangoes
Mangoes are a special fruit
Mangoes can also be super cute
Mangoes make me feel happy
mangoes can make also make you feel crappy
Mangoes can fill a special void
Mangoes can make you feel annoyed
Mangoes don’t come in a pair
Mangoes are actually everywhere
Fuggoff don't tell me how to live
🙋♀️
🖐️
Imagine what secrets both Joe and Keith are hiding. I would love to hear some of their wildest confession stories. 😂
Praise God
I’ve had the SHITTIEST month, this just made me so happy I could cry
I hope August is better
Don't let the crying fetish dude hear you.
Careful, your neighbor might be into that...
Am I the only one who feels like they heard the confessions before? Thought I clicked on a old video because I remember some of these
Yes was thinking the same thing when hearing about the girl holding her sisters bf hand
Yea me too, I was like I am pretty sure I heard these before and Joe talk about them lol
A lot of these confessions were talked about in Cody Ko videos months ago
Most of these confessions were on a Cody Ko video so if you watch him, that's probably where you heard these
I’ll be out shopping with my mom and she’ll just go “oh I need to clock out” and I’m like ???
I think we need to find this pirate ship sounds like magic 😂
lol ! They have one at the PNE in Vancouver BC Canada 😉
@@ellecapone1337 yeah but does it do that lol
@@cic6002 let’s just put it this way…they are not lying. lol.
@@cic6002theres one at the theme park a few miles away from me, and I can confirm it does this to a lot of women. Every girl that I know that has gone on it has talked about how it feels REALLY weird. I don’t go on it because that feeling along with the feeling of wanting to throw up is too much to handle, but some people I know go on it a lot because it feels good for them
Is the last person's company hiring because im clearly in the wrong career field 😅
I want in on it too!
That's what i'm saying! Someone show me how to weasel my way into a position like that!
One word: politician
If I ever get engaged, we're definitely gonna milk that restaurant thing!!
Straight banger and not even any sponsors in this vid 🔥🔥
6:30 he said "i've been dating for 4years" 4years is a long time maybe its about expected around that timeish unless youve talked about it before. also a "RING" is not a piece of jewelry you give someone without deeper meanings go for the necklace or earrings not a ring
Love the content since the early days! Keep it coming!
But I wanna know where the guy works... are they hiring? 😂
Moreee and longeeer !
Love these videos like the old days in the basement ☺️
Let me tell you something 😂 as an introvert who's also a huge people's pleaser, I would get accidentally engaged😅😅
12:26 “WHAT EWw!”
A Joe Santagato upload on my birthday is the icing on the cake 😃
Happy Birthday
Happy birthday ❤
G sport g spot😂oh Joey. Never fail to make me laugh🤣
We need more of these because you people are out of pocket 😂😭
For the guy who fakes a british accent:
when people move here from out of the country, it’s normal for them to transition into an american accent overtime since that’s what everyone around you sounds like. Just slowly drop the accent & switch back to your normal one. They might notice in the end, but if you use this as a reason, it’ll make sense to them.
“Just you and Jack sparrow then “ I’m dyinnggg 😂
7:59 "miffed" is the English term for saying slightly annoyed, or "a bit pissed" to you guys.
I get the poop one. My 14 year old legit went a few months on a solid diet of chips and frozen burritos....no water. This kid would take dumps so large and solid that I needed to buy a couple different tools to unclog. One had a metal claw on the end that we sometimes needed to literally pick at the poop to break it away in chunks. It wasn't clogging the tube in between, but getting lodged on the bottom before dropping into the sewage line. So I kept telling his mom over and over it's his shitty diet, and he'd complain about needing to unclog it every time he went so she'd tell him the same thing. Eventually he had a wellness check and the doctor said the same thing. Kid still didn't listen and I stopped caring after a while (I'm step dad so I'm definitely not being listened to at that age). Anyway, he had one so large I could hear him struggling and he eventually started calling out to his mom. She told him from the door, nothing I can do. Maybe stop eating junk and drink some damn water! Guess it hurt bad enough he cut the bad diet. This kid even managed to clog a few commercial toilets with super high pressure water.
Is no one else having de ja vu? Either a repost or I'm checking into a mental hospital. 😂😂
Literally the roller coaster one and engagement/marriage one!!! 🤣
Not the same video but some of the same confessions
Either he or Cody Ko reviewed a very similar list of confessions
@@jayfathbone Yea towards the end I started rethinking my comment 😬😂
@@CometAlmighty Yea they're both stored in the same place of my brain so that would make sense too 😂
Poop knife my friend, poop knife.
I love seeing this reference every once and a while! It is such a legendary story that has reached every corner of the internet
Wait wait wait, what's this story?
I'm afraid to google it, so don't even tell me to XD
Oh it is absolutely possible for a human to unleash that much poop. I had to go to the hospital for severe constipation once (I was so backed up I had to get an enema) and the amount that I was able to get out afterwards was crazy
People forget out intestines are coiled up inside us but they’re actually between 15-25 feet long depending on the person. Imagine how much clay you could smush down into a 20’ tube while leaving it still bendable and flexible. That’s how much poop your body can hold.
@@jadebel7006 We're all humans, Jade
Meanwhile I'm so qualified and I can't find a job or afford my insulin..
i went hunting w my dad years ago. he brought a quad…. had an O on the back of the quad with my dad on it too. that rollercoaster confession brought that horrific memory back. thanks!
Poop guy just needs to do a midway flush (or 5)!
Option 2 at 10:21...Oh my Holy Christ!!!🤣🤣🤣
Best video in a long time! Thanks Joe ✌️ ❤
Cracked me up thanks dude 😊. Fave line "Magellan" that was gold
Baiting homophobes into leaving the cruise ship is genius. The only concern I would have is that the ones who stay will now be extra vigilant where they might not otherwise be.
the take at 9:01 im dead
Wanking it in the living room, to videos of people crying.
That’s some psychotic shit IMO.
9:29 Oh yeah, THAT'S the insane part of all this lol.
Saw this right at 9:31 and HOLY FUCK YES
Been waiting on this video, love all your videos, they funny af
Sometimes, if people don't go to the bathroom for a few days, it can clog the toilet when you finally go. I used to have that problem when I was a kid. But I can tell you for a fact that I never took 5 or 6 lb shits. That guy in the video had a big eating disorder to create shits *THAT* huge after just one day. Thank God he didn't wait several days. Otherwise, the resulting shit would have split him open!
How do I find one of these 6 figure jobs from home and do nothing 😂😂😂😂
People need more integrity
Fake an accent? Clinton Kane…this you??
I'm not gonna lie that one pissed me off lol. I'm working my ass off and clearly do a better job than everyone at my company but I don't make nearly what I know I'm worth... Oh well good for that guy😂
I am not going to be specific, but this made me feel so understood 🥹
You make my days better. You rock 🪨 😂
I feel like I’ve seen this video before lol
same i’m so confused
Yeah me too!
Found the Cody ko fans lol. he did a video recently
In gym class, I learned how to climb the rope hanging from the ceiling. It felt so good, I went all the way to the ceiling.
This was one of the funniest things I've ever listened to. I have my own funny confession that always gets a funny reaction. And now that's it's been years after the statue of limitations has run out I tell people it if that kind of conversation comes up as to what was one of thr craziest things you've done in your life.
Also the working from home and barely doing anything is relatable. I work from home and do 4 10 hour workdays and half the week I don’t do much. Some days I’m slammed but other days I can kick back and relax. I used to feel guilty about this too but my therapist told me once that the transition to working from home showed a lot of people that there’s not necessarily 8 (or in my case 10) hours of work to do in a day and a lot of people do what I do too
2:00 - as someone who has had some terrible diarrhea days. it is totally possible to clog your toilet with mostly feces. gotta get one of them industrial strength toilets, in order to avoid that happening.
okay joe I see you with the dexter reference! makes me love you more!
ily joe please never die
3:29-3:48 this is the funniest kind of mess you can get into..
The sunrise shining on his wall is beautiful.
Wish y'all were visiting San Antonio for this tour 😢
Hey Joe. Hit me up when one of your group chatters have a job opening. I've been training my whole life for this moment!!
I’m guilty of the faking accents in 2 languages.
My fav TH-camr
There are plenty of people who get paid without doing any work. They're referred to as politicians.
Hey Joe, I was wondering which city's your accent from?
Ps. Love your videos.
It’s the fact I’ve been watching your videos since the mad libs series…and I’ve NEVER realized you have light eyes until now😭
Can't wait to see him and Frankie tomorrow night in LA 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻
Off to a hot start 💀
Neither of us is proud of this moment, but my now fiance actually did just put my engagement ring on the table and had it waiting for me after I came from the bathroom. No words. I asked if I had to open it there or if I could wait and I waited until the car. It was a terrible proposal and also unexpected.
For the work one, if he's getting praise and recognition than he's obviously still doing his job well
Depending on the company, it isn’t that difficult to have a role where you’re not busy and no one notices. I’ve had one where I had a few tasks I did but most of the day I did nothing.
Love these😂😂
I love your videos so much ❤
6:37 that’s the plot of an Indian movie😂 I’m not kidding.
Buffalo-sized shit coming from a “human” is a thing, I’ve seen one. I was shocked, disbelieving, and a little impressed. It was like going through the 5 stages of grief 😂 🤯
I love the laughter in the background
another great video Joe :)
Lots of people are engaged for months....sometimes years
Some people are getting married by accident while i'm over hear unable to get a girlfriend.