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Obsessions, BPD, and OCPD
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ค. 2019
- Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox: goo.gl/LQEgy1
One of the most challenging aspects of BPD, and other disorders, is obsessions. What is an obsession: an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind? This increases anxiety and drive for impulsive behavior to lessen the lessen the anxiety and discomfort. Obsessions covers a lot, so I thought I will discuss this in the context of OCPD and its connection to BPD and treatment options. You might be surprised what you learn, let’s check it out.
• OCPD is characterized by excessive perfectionism, rigidity to rules and morals, orderliness, and control to the level that it impacts your functioning. It is considered one of the most prevalent PDs between 2.1% and 7.9% of the general population; BPD is estimated between 1.6% and 5.9% in the general population.
• There is some research evidence to suggest the presence of some early experiences leading to emotional difficulties in those with OCPD similar to those seen in other personality disorders, such as child abuse, anger, suicidality, and substance use; in one study, 72% of participants diagnosed with OCPD reported a history of childhood abuse, including 36% endorsing sexual abuse and 81% endorsing neglect.
Participants with BPD tend to expereince stronger and more negative emotions (anger, hate, resentment) and greater problems with emotional control that drive behavior than those with OCPD.
Individuals with OCPD endorse strong negative affect (including anger) that those without OCPD, and they have difficulty accepting, understanding, and managing their negative affect effectively. However, they report being able to control the expression of these emotions whereas those with BPD, report being unable to keep impulses in check. Degrees of difference.
They both tend to have difficulty completing tasks and concentrating when upset, but this may be due to the tendency of both disorders to having problems with rumination, fixations, or obsessions with thoughts and preoccupational thinking (“I can’t get it out of my head”).
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
TH-cam: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
Citation:
Miller, T. W., & Kraus, R. F. (2007). Modified dialectical behavior therapy and problem solving for obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 37(2), 79-85.
Steenkamp, M. M., Suvak, M. K., Dickstein, B. D., Shea, M. T., & Litz, B. T. (2015). Emotional functioning in obsessive-compulsive personality disorder: Comparison to borderline personality disorder and healthy controls. Journal of Personality Disorders, 29(6), 794-808.
I’m obsessed with my bpd diagnosis - looking forward to healing so badly
Cool name. Good luck!
Me too---one catch I know I will never heal as I am 44 and it's just too many hurdles to overcome even in 12 lifetimes...BPD is a curse or punishment from our creator
I told dr today, I wish I had cancer instead. What can you do? Play the hand you’re dealt, said the professional poker player......Not the hand you want!
Same!!
Me too! You're not alone!
Can you do a video on BPD and feelings of inferiority/feeling like a child? I notice this a lot in myself and I wonder if it's common with people who have the disorder. I feel like a small child a lot, like I dont know how to do anything for myself. For many people I think that feeling leads to co-dependence but I just end up feeling overwhelmed all the time forcing myself to rely on me. I feel like I'm simultaneously parenting myself/teaching myself basic life lessons that shouldve been handled in childhood while also dealing with my actual adult life.
Donny Mazarati I experience the exact same thing
Me too! That's a BPD thing? I didn't realize. I have quite a few disorders. I don't know where one begins and one ends. It's difficult to figure out who you are exactly when you have more than one disorder.
I get that alot
Me too. The inner child needs healing and we have to learn self love. I have known this for years but for some reason Im afraid or I feel its too hard. Hope you find your way:)
Uh wow didn't think there were others like this..."child" is often what i describe myself as, and i too feel this need to look for all the life lessons I should've learned in childhood
BPD has completely destroyed My spirit and any lust for life leaving Me Cold,Dry,Bitter,Angry,suspicious...etc...I feel like it has aged Me prematurely also
Me too
Joe Winters wishing you all the best for the future, keep moving forward. You’ve got this.
Your spirit cant be completely distroyed. Its our own thoughts and obsessions keeping us in fear and sadness. We forget that we have control. We just need to learn. Dont give up hope.
I so feel you
It’s not just you.
I've never heard that some psychologist so
precisely and fundamentally explains, present and encourages persons with BPD as You do.Thank You so much!
My sister & I have been clinically diagnosed BPD & OCPD respectively. We created a pact when I was 10 to stop fighting because we are all we have throughout our lives. I’ve noticed I cannot drop a subject if there is a question of morality with someone else, or a false implication of my true feelings & intent behind dialogue. My parents & step-parents are all cluster B’s & I’ve recently been understanding why I was “outcast,” & how my role as the ‘family diplomat’ has been relied upon for every disagreement. Living that role 20+ years since has damaged my social core. Thank you for breaking this down for me so I can better understand how to communicate with my family more effectively.
I often get overwhelmed by emotions & no one can be more critical of me than I am of myself. Everywhere I go, I’m usually far more perceptive & aware of my surroundings. I have a rooted connection to nature, calming animals & people. I noticed fear-based adrenaline is what causes me the worst of my communication nightmares. My word choice sucks because I speak 5 languages & I misuse synonyms, yet I feel compelled to speak my feelings in the moment. Otherwise I cannot sleep & my thoughts consume me until the matter is addressed. It’s the LONE aspect of my personality that lacks patience & restraint.
I have irrational feelings & fears as anyone else does, yet I have a tendency to get to a point where the subject is no longer my legitimate concern. This is incredibly frustrating, especially when I already have enough difficulty with initiating a dialogue. I never seem to get a proper apology, acknowledgment, or that boost of esteem I need every now & then. I’m so used to being hyper-focused on the whole family’s behavior I’ve come to normalize this lack of interest in me as a person. I escaped this with a mountain of hobbies. While this seems ridiculous to suggest, I suppose I need help understanding cues of a person who is worthwhile to have around & is a genuine human being. I know the bad signs, though I can’t help but posit I may not even know how to spot the good ones who are actually interested in me based on my current “love model.”
I have bipolar traits as well. My birthday is in October & I don’t usually get out of my depressed self-seclusion until late January. My diagnosis was recently updated almost a year ago from OCD to OCPD with comorbid OCD traits. This is also at a time my sister just had her third kid this year... the way things our parents say & do with my nieces & nephew awaken lost memories. I started to remember the kind of boy I was before my parents divorced & my sister & I pretty much had to take care of ourselves in 3rd & 1st grade, respectively. I’ve recently been trying to focus on triggers which cause me to “space out..” turns out I’ve been dissociating my whole life & never realized until a week or two ago.
@@GeorgeAAspros how do you dissociate? I identify with your story
The biggest thing that gets me mad beyond mad is when someone else TELLS ME who I am, what I'm thinking, what I actually meant when I said something, describes me as a horrible person yet tells me how great I am.
I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE BUT AFRIAD OF AND DONT TRUST PEOPLE.....SAD/ANGRY/INADEQAUTE/WORTHLESS/SELF LOATHING BUT DONT KNOW HOW TO CHANGE SO I CAN LIKE MYSELF
Yes just except yourself as being a complicated character. Both good and bad. Love all your authentic self and your false self. Hold your farts in
@@joannelewis8038 lmao
You sound like my husband. He wants to be part of a family, but it seems only on his terms. He'd rather live separately than try to get professional help 😢
I obsess over people that treat me like sh!t. I just cannot let it go! God I love your videos 🤘
Yes! Thank you!
I obsess over people and events where people purposely treat me like shit. Go out of their way to try to hurt me.
If you cut me off and stick your finger up at me, 12 months later I still hate you every day.
But if it's non intentionally done , I can accept it and move on.
Dr. Fox you are totally awesome with your knowledge of this disease, your methods in managing and understanding this disease save lives. Please keep up the excellent work.
Totally agree. Something about his tone and delivery just cuts through my internal BS. His explanations help me not judge myself so harshly.
Holy crap. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was hospitalized and when I researched it all, I was thinking wow! That explains everything! However.. Now that you compare it to OCPD.. that sounds more like me. For example: experiencing stronger, more angry emotions (holding it all inside) difficulty with accepting emotions (every time I cry in public, I'm always hard on myself by telling people that I'm a dramatic cry baby), and the extreme rumination.
WHAT IS THE ROOT OF THE EMPTY DEAD FEELING INSIDE AND ALSO THE EXTREME ANTI-SOCIAL/LONELINESS ?
THE BLAND/DULL COMPLETE LACK OF PERSONALITY AND LACK OF EMPATHY/SYMPATHY AS WELL....
SO MANY THINGS IT SEEMS ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE TO SOLVE THEM...I AM 44 AND SEEM TO BE ONLY GETTING WORSE...CAN'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I AM SO COLD ANGRY AND DEAD INSIDE....I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE
Omg ! U totally described me ! I have a long history of trauma !
Me 2. Maybe EMDR is a solution. Its possible that your trauma can vanish after this treatment. Give it a try. If it succeed, then you can reopen yourself and go for a new relationship
I think the empty feeling is a result of the amygdala that produces cortisol to deal with stress (which ends up being oversized from childhood trauma) being totally empty at times....it feels totally chemical....because it’s overused by the mind thinking there’s a problem all day long...then you get up the next day put your favourite clothes on wonder down the street, you should be feeling hot jiggidy jam, instead totally hollowed out....I try to remind myself of this and think about the word sorrow and that I feel sorrow and I will keep feeling sorrow till my brain chemical are replenished....I can cheat and buy a coffee but it’s a little manic, I try not to.
Keep your head up. Maybe start journaling or something. Call a friend or associate. Are do like me and research the condition? I always get relief from researching the condition cause it helps me understand what's happening with me and i also get relief from reading comments because it helps realize my situation could be worser and also it makes me feel good to help encourage somebody else.
I am not sure sir if you know what a wonderful caring person you are. You are doung something so great for people who are lost and afraid looking for help but doctors dont know what to do or dont care really. Watching your videos gives us hope!! Thank you
YES! AMEN💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏🥰
My mind is actually blown right now. Wow.. so interesting. It's absolutely amazing how the brain works and responds.
Went through a breakup Labor Day weekend, and I can't get what happened out of my head. But, it's almost the end of October, and I feel ashamed that I'm not over it yet, like I'm on some sort of time clock. So, I feel bad because of the breakup, but I put all this pressure on myself, feeling awful about myself because I'm not over it. I'm so perfectionistic with myself.
Do not blame yourself . My partner has this OCD etc and splits I was not good for her but I didn't know about her condition. Had I known id have done everything much differently. Iv been put through the mill but when you love someone and its real you are willing to make sacrifices to find happiness for you both. Her condition won't ever leave her and we both separately got told to leave each other. This was caused because her condition was unmanaged and she has a few separate personalities and a lot get fooled by her. I however like to think im advanced as far as seeing the splits and noticing her in transformation. Biting my tongue 👅 is tough at times but I do truly love her and have no urges to seek it elsewhere but I need to find strong boundaries so she can see im not a push over which im actually not . Its hard finding the sweet spot of not been to weak and not been a party pooper her exact words not mine. Party 🥳 pooper boring etc etc thing is im the last person in world id associate with boring its just with her if I live a certain way She panics and thinks im cheating which has never been the case since entering a full relationship. Does any other of you get called party pooper or buzzy buzz kill because I won't let her kill herself using nasty substance misuse
most of the time its cptsd from trauma. especially narcistic parents
Would be nice to have more videos like this with bpd and ocpd. Especially for ocpd, it's not easy to find material on TH-cam. Many people are sharing videos with their personal experience, which is cool, anyway would be nice and useful to have a professional talking about it. Thank you Dr Fox! 🦊🙏
Agree .. this is recently coming to my attention, and make me wonder 🤔
I have OCD and can't get things that happened in my past out my head. There are so many people that hurt me who I went to hurt so bad. I keep getting intrusive thoughts about busting one guy in his head. He was extremely jealous and narcissistic and always tried to get me down but ended up mad because I ignored him and never paid him any attention.
Trying to stop obsession is so hard.
I've been obsessed with mental illness for about 15 years. Being BPD was pointed out to me in my early 20s but I went into denial. That's when I started researching because I had to prove it was something else...now here I am, obsessed with BPD because I told my psychiatrist that I was BPD and he dismissed me as his patient. After a long conversation...he took me back but still. It was pretty crushing to finally face it and have my dr turn his back on me.
I wish i never found out i had this diagnosos. Got another load of healing to do yet again. At least we can help others if need be. X
i feel the same
I’m the same how do I get out of the intense depression state
Thank you so much for spreading awareness on mental health issues. I think it helps to erase the stigma that still exists on the matter in the media for instance. Myself, i was diagnosed with BPD last year. It's been an emotional rollest coaster. I'm working out your BPD workbook and i feel so good that it's already truly getting me started on the path of growing beyond it 🙌 #knowledgeisempowerement
I agree, these videos are really helpful to break the stigma. I have shared some of them to close people so they can understand. I feel more valid when a specialist shares information rather than me trying to explain... 👍 Good luck, I'm also on the workbook! 💪
Sweet Jesus, so many overlaps in these disorders. I can completely relate to the perfectionism to try and control how I was feeling. I remember the depression that followed my physical exhaustion from being a perfectionist throughout my teens and twenties and into in my early thirties. 25 years later I simply try to get basic things done and anything extra is just a bonus. I’m just gonna relax and let my doctor deal with labels. Too overwhelming for me to sort it all out. On a brighter note, I have gained insight into my recapitulation and how it feeds my victimology. How I continue to set myself up to suffer so that I can validate and feed the need to use this to get sympathy, and to SUFFER some more and I do it to MYSELF! Omg, It’s exhausting to engage in all of these behaviors and I just need and want a simpler life for Gods sake. 🙏🏻😊🙏🏻
It is true, there is a lot of comorbidities and overlaps, as if BPD was not enough! Yet you are trying your best as I read your message :) keep up the good work, I wish you the best 👍
Zinila Kovářová Thanks. It certainly is a full time job to manage isn’t it? One day at a time.🤦♀️
I have BPD, OCPD, Depression and Anxiety. Along with IBS, GERD, SIBO, Chronic Migraines, Endometriosis, PCOS, Fibromyalgia. I honestly don’t want to live in my body anymore. Which contributes to my chronic suicidal tendencies. Honestly I need a break.
I hope you've kept going! you are worth it!
Hey how are you doing? I hope you are fine. Take care
Roxy, I hope you are coping. I see that you listed a number of ailments which have physical symptoms. Obviously, we are all integrated whole beings with spiritual, emotional and physical aspects which all affect the other aspects. Have you considered using what you already know about food to expand your search in that area for an answer to your physical challenges. I'm suggesting that you do things which are less challenging to affect what you can to the degree you can. Hopefully, your improvement in one area will ripple throughout your life. Relax and be patient as much as you can while you move forward. Create a vision of your future of health and joy. Stay focused on that vision. Choose support from professionals, friends and family who are as healthy and joyful as your vision of your future and who 'get' you. Bless you.
Wow I have more to add on to you list but my diagnosis are quite similar do you find you dissociate too?
I have similar diagnosis!
THE LACK OF IDENTITY IE JUST ALWAYS BEING IN THE MIDDLE/ON THE FENCE NEVER KNOWING WHERE I STAND IS SO PAINFULLY FRUSTRATING AND ANGER INDUCING...THE KNOWING THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE A PARTNER OR ANY SORT OF LIFE WORTH LIVING IS SO SUICIDE INDUCING,,,,,
SCAN IMAL ❤️
You are the best you're the one dr that understands the mental torment is causing these disruptive and destructive behaviors not hatred or malice and calculating ways to hurt people. edit* I hate when I hurt people in any way even if situationally deserved it. I think about it even things from childhood
WOW! Thank yo Dr. Fox for this excellent explanation 💖 Yes, you really helped me to understand the differentiating factors connected to my emotional dysregulation which includes anxiety/panic in stressful situations overwhelming me which I dumb down and get extremely busy doing something constructive to avoid emotions that are overwhelming for me. I am an over-thinker seeking to find answers and solutions to everything. Yes, background of major traumas and through much counselling understand the resulting Human Magnet Syndrome that Ross Rosenberg based his book on. All the pieces are falling together after years of attracting wrong partners and much suffering. Books helped somewhat and so did some celebrity mentors but bottom line: it took counselling to help rewire the subconcious trauma brain. Today I finally realized that I was not able to show my vulnerability to family/friends (thinking I would burden them while doing so or they would find my feelings weak and distasteful and not want anything to do with me anymore). Again, thank you so very much because your video helped me to connect the dots between my keeping very busy perfecting things to avoid the overwhelming feelings that I have been working on but certainly didn't understand the differentiating connections you explained 😊👍👍💞
I hate the fact.that i have to look on these.videos just to confirm if theres something wrong with me
There's nothing wrong with you you're just hurt
Pray! Prayer is so powerful. I almost jeopardized my relationship again last night. I stopped and prayed before I texted him this ridiculous message. Thank God for calming my heart and soul. ❤️ My feelings were so strong I actually started believing my crazy thoughts. This morning God confirmed his promises to me....this verse popped up. John 14:27 Do not let your hearts be troubled, do not be afraid.
I've been obsessed with the same girl for over 3 years. I think of her non-stop every day. She's the last thing I think of in the evening & as soon as I wake up the thoughts start up again. I frequently can't sleep or wake up in the night thinking about her. A lot of days I'm so sick from thinking about her that I can't focus on work or get anything done. I finally started to recognise it as a mental disorder, rather than a soul attatchment. I'm starting on medication now, so I'll see how that goes. I just want it to stop!
Same, I have this horrible obsession with a past relationship and I can't get over it no matter how much time passes, is tiring. It's been 4 years and I hate being annoying and wish I could just move on but I don't know why I can't :(
Yes I’ve been there, I looked into it, exercise has helped me a lot, I gotta find someone I like more than my past girl, she has moved on, it’s not fair to waste all this time, also I think if I wasn’t obsessed with her,I’d be obsessed with something else , this much I know for a fact, I looked up beginner exercise warm ups and calisthenics has helped me greatly, but I still get obsessed sometimes, so I know how much it sucks
I texted with a guy for 2 month, we called each other sometimes, were in constantly in touch. It triggered intense anxiety and obsession. I would panic when I didnt hear from him, asking what is wrong ( obviously nothing was wrong ) I constantly would contact him and not I wasn't able to give him space cause the space of not knowing !! triggered sooo much anxiety.
The way you described OCD is a similar pattern to how I deal with my FP (I have BPD)
I have been watching you for almost a year and found your discussions on BPD to be interesting. I got my BA in psych (and currently working on my MA for social work, concentrating on community mental health) and had never known until the last 5 months how people with personality disorders can have comorbidity other PDs. I’ve known of comorbidity, but not exactly discussion about one personality disorder being comorbit with another PDs. Just traits or features I was aware of. But now it’s all come full circle that the interrelatedness to other diagnosis could be possibly similar experience of what I will call, traumas of origin. Meaning, there is common experience of certain traumas (shared feelings probably as well) in some cases that may led to vulnerability in multiple diagnoses. It all makes sense especially with severe cases. Then like you are saying, being aware of the similarities between the features of disorders like OCD, because BPD can have compulsions or traits of narcissism among other tacked on diagnoses like addiction. It’s fascinating to me. Below I decided to discuss my development of OCD and my struggles with addiction as a teenager. This video reminded me I once had OCD. I wanted to share that among other experiences, because I feel safe as there is a community here that may find comfort in knowing there are others out there with similar feelings or shared experiences. So read on if you want. I titled sections for guidance.
-Teenage Addictions and development of OCD
When I was 15 I was using weed and nearing my 16th bday, I started using coke for a short period. I used coke roughly for 3 months, with at least 2 events monthly of using, 2-4 lines usually in a sitting. Then when I turned 16, I was in a car accident. I was barely a week being on the road. I was recklessly cross-faded on alcohol and weed. Somehow I avoided DUI. Yes, I know I needed help... I had a rough childhood and was dealing with untreated depression. Luckily I stopped using because I had facial reconstructive surgery due to the car accident (yes I look normal now thankfully). But the reason I bring that all up is because I believed I developed OCD from the trauma of that car accident and the surgery.
After surgery I wasn’t hanging out around my user friends, was unrecognizable for over a month due to the swelling, and found myself hyped up on Darvocet watching MTV music videos feeling completely alone and sad.
-OCD
Soon after recovering from my surgery, I became obsessed with germs. I had this irritation fear of germs being near my face, unclean hands touching my face, and the ritual of using a hand towel only once to dry my face. Also, I wouldn’t allow people I didn’t trust to touch my face because of the Germphobia and OCD I developed. Evolutionary speaking, it makes sense to have hypersensitivity after a experience like that, but it manifested as OCD I believe. I was like that for about 2 years until I realize that my rituals were silly. I had done research on OCD when I knew I had a problem when I was about 17. I had found articles that talked about traumas
switching on those behaviors to cope.
-My thoughts looking back
It was an hard experience and lesson, but strangely the car accident saved me from ruining my life by going down the road of drugs further. But then again, I have also a history of abuse and neglect. It is hard to determine the cause of things because it’s like a domino effect when you have the odds of trauma stacked, but the associations among those traumas of origins arise disorders as you are speaking on. I found this the be interesting with my knowledge I have been building lately.
-BPD lessons & personal growth in grad school
During my final year of grad school I will be at a volunteer psych hospital for only adults. So understanding all of the details of BPD and other differential diagnosis are intriguing to me. Additionally, someone I recently dated in grad school (he was also a grad student) had BPD. He appeared high functioning and had seemingly tamed it for the most part - 5 years sober, was a grad student, and had the presents of what I thought was a healthy person. Now I know I had no clue what I was in for or maybe it could have been possibly denial that someone as kind as him could become abusive and relapse.
It broke my heart when things started unraveling. He became medication non-compliant. I saw the withdraws of Seroquel, Adderall, & Wellbutrin all at once, him abusing these prescriptions, along with him showing up for therapy, and yet being non-compliant to following treatment. I had to leave for my own physical and mental well-being because of the psychological abuse, I discovered he was cheating on me with male & female prostitutes, and claimed to have relapsed. I’ve been working through the sadness and anger that followed when I ended things. I felt violated and mistreated from the experience, but I have been doing a lot better lately. The good that came from that was learning to build and uphold my boundaries, not accept abuse, not fearing leaving (even when I think I love someone, I need to love myself more), but importantly the knowledge clinically and empathy in practice with BPD individuals and their loved ones. Even though the relationship was traumatic, I learned a great deal about myself and others that were valuable lessons to me.
So this is why I am now interested in cluster B personalities, addictions, and domestic violence. I know my experience won’t be in vain (the shame, guilt and other emotions), but a place I can look back and know I have grown.
You are doing great work and am thankful to have found your channel! I need to see if you have any publications 🙌🏻 so you can be up on my bookshelf in my future office ❤️ thank you!!
SCAN IMAL and Kendu ......please do not lose hope. I am 63 and have only recently begun the healing process only after nearly destroying every relationship in my life.
I am a quiet BPD and extremely introspective.....so have been able to control the symptoms most of my adult life. Diagnosed with Bi-polar and clinical depression but the pattern did not fit over time. My life grew exhausting over time as symptoms grew much worse in recent years. I became very self destructive. Found Marsha Linehan on line then Katie Morton then Daniel Fox and a few more.
Marsha linehan is the pioneer of DBT and BPD treatment. You CAN become well. It takes one to two years to learn techniques well.
I have Linehans workbooks and subscribe to a website called “headspace” which teaches mindfulness which is very big in the healing process. I would love to have Daniel Foxes workbook but had just purchased the Linehan books.
I have learned so much about BPD from online/you-tube. I too have felt incredibly cursed and have wished to die so many nights. I am still working hard to heal from this and I know I can. So much improvement but haven’t made it more than two months without falling into the black hole.However I don’t stay there long, now hours to a few days as opposed to a month or longer.
I desperately want to be well. I have not committed as much time on a daily basis as I have in prior months but with summer vacay over for my husband who is a teacher, i have committed to restart the discipline of daily practices. Mindfulness excercises 10-15 minutes a day, 30-45 minutes in Linehan books. I think Daniel Foxes would likely be easier. He is clear, concise and more easily understood as he communicates better to those without Psych background.
I wish you both the very best. Trying to be mentally, emotionally well can be difficult, exhausting and discouraging but it is possible.
Continue to fight the fight. YOU DESERVE A HAPPY LIFE ❤️
Dr.Fox: Is there a “ normal” ? I mean, does a normal, mentally completely healthy person exist? When i look around in my environment, past and present, i see most people with one or another “ unhealthy “ trait. Some are overly stingy, some are kind of rigid, some are impulsive or egocentric . When does it become a mental health issue?
They define a disorder as something that significantly impacts your life in a negative way regularly
Leah S Thanks💐
susi sonnenschein No, probably not, and continually over analyzing it makes it worse. 😂But I do it anyway.
I have copd, with it’s difficulties to express emotions :) I am workaholic and cold with great self -confidence:) but I had great childhood and family
I remember that times as a nice dream.
I managed to remove crazy intuitive thoughts from my mind and it’s funny now for me. I did it myself with trying creating better every day and doing same now. I manage to direct all my energy to make my mind perfect :)) - mean healthier and flexible. So I am staying cold but I realize it and I am trying to be flexible in my thoughts and aims.
Thanks for an interesting presentation. My sister and I both suffered from emotional and incestuous abuse and she ended up OCPD and me with BPD.....so different disorders but stemming from the same variables from both parents. She feels reassured by placing very strict rules and boundaries and being super neat and I feel more comfortable being free and easy and keeping my life free from strict rules and orderliness.
I resonate so much with BPD and OCPD issues; however, I have been dx as having an adjustment disorder.
There are a lot of issues I haven’t spoken to my therapist YET, but it is so frustrating wanting to fit in a particular “box” and not feeling validated bc I like to think I know myself pretty well and am good at masking things. I don’t ever lie to my therapist but I made it known that i’m someone you have to dig at to get info. 😔
Love your videos!
Oooohhhh my goodness. This makes a lot of sense. I HIGHLY ruminate on things. And it’s weird because I actually don’t want to, and sometimes I’m like why am I thinking about this when it’s so distressing?? And the intrusive thoughts are the worst because they leave me feeling so ashamed. So ashamed. And sometimes I act so compulsively just to ignore the thoughts. So much so I’ve overmedicated. Not always to hurt myself but like, I can’t think of another way to shut my brain up sometimes and it can be so exhausting and disheartening.
Google “DBT Tip sheet”. The ice cube technique will help you. Be well
@@DrDanielFox thank you so much!!! I will look for it!
Since stumbling across your videos earlier this year ..I am just so thankful...You are an amazing ,kind,and wonderful humanbeing who is very knowledgeable about BPD!! WITH THE HELP OF YOURE VIDEOS,Some of your worksheets,and a few other things my psychiatrist and I both have noticed INSANE CHANGES FOR THE BETTER IN JUST 5MONTHS!! Yes I still have some bad days and weeks..but mostly good days..And Honestly I haven't had a Bpd episode in months when I used to have them daily.. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!.
🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤🖤🖤💜
Now if only I can work on the compulsions..and constantly thinking about stuff..etc
I'll never forget sitting in a psych ward, talking to a psychiatrist and she then tells me that it's impossible what I told her and I'm making things up, because it would be something stable and that would be the opposite of my BPD which is instability.
We were talking about my counting and one number in specific that is very important to me, as well as a few other "little" things that I do or I can go crazy about when seeing it but can't corret it right away etc.
Most of it doesn't really affecty my daily life in a way that it would cause any bigger or very noticeable problems and no one who isn't really close to me would even notice it. She asked me about such things and I answered honestly. But just because that "pattern" seems stable from my childhood on and I have a BPD diagnosis she was convinced that I'm just making it up, for whatever reason. I was a bit perplexed about that, not to mention we saw each other for the first time.
Very interresting how sure she was about me and how I am, just because of the diagnosis on paper and without have seen or talked to me at least once.
My obsession is my significant other 😓😓😓 I’m so attached and depend on them so much and it’s breaking me and the relationship idk what to do. I feel like I’ll never be happy bc I can’t be happy alone . I’m scared of being alone
Try finding the route to why you can't be alone and what hurt you to make you feel you can't self regulate and instead need someone to be around, maybe you can dive into figuring out how to love yourself and where the need came from, maybe you can work from there, but while doing it dont be hard on yourself, I used to be so hard on myself during my healing process. 💚
I have full blown BPD and full blown OCD. 😖
I was just like omg what if it's really OCPD... Then I wached everything and nope...
Definitely BPD and OCD.
Looooord. 🙏
Same here .
And I’m Italian too .
Every video I see from you feels like a hug. Thank you
Dr. Fox, can you do a video on how to tell the difference between non-pathological vulnerable narcissism and BPD? I know research has shown a connection between the two, but how do you know when a vulnerable narcissist actually has BPD (BPD with strong narcissistic traits)?
Also, can you do a video on how to tell the difference between BPD and PPD?
BPD can have so many characteristics of other personality disorders, it really can be nearly impossible to know the difference sometimes.
Can it be said one’s disorder could be ‘complex’, with symptoms of BPD, OCPD and PTSD? When one’s perception of society/interactions is changed by trauma, but it‘s hard to diagnose with just one disorder?
The video is interesting and I am thankful since acceptance of one’s un-perfect state can relax.☺️
I looove your videos I have quiet bpd and I'm so thankful for you to educate people about it!!! Could you make a separate video for quiet (and other types) of bpd?
I think I have trauma from PEOPLE with OCPD, borderline, etc. It started in early childhood with a stepmom, and has just messed up my entire self. It's like a battle everyday to feel good about my best qualities, rather than filled with shame for everything. It suuuuucccccckkkkkks. And what sucks even more, is that after 50 years on earth, I still have to deal with OCPD/NPD/BPD people that will NOT get therapy to understand themselves. I feel stuck by both my trauma and their disorder. It feels like they place me in some kind of surrogate parent/child in their minds to their needs, where my basic rights as a human are wildly offensive to them. It suuuuuuuucks. I can't figure out how to get away from them.
Hi Dr Fox, I was just wondering about how BPD might cause someone to think that someone else's negative emotions are about them. I've been struggling with this for a long time. For some reason I jump to the conclusion that i'm the one causing their negative feelings or maybe im just perceiving that person negatively when they really aren't? I spend so much time focusing on this too and it can ruin my day bc I feel like I did something wrong or they hate me. This is so confusing (maybe im thinking about it too much?) I have a lot of paranoid ideation (is that what you call it?) and its so severe that sometimes I believe my thoughts even when the other person says they arent true and I think the other person is just lying to me. I'm not sure if these 2 things are related or not but I'm getting so lost in my thoughts about this and getting confused! :(
Yes, this is a common occurrence. Work on strategies to ground and reality test. I wish you well.
Dr. Daniel Fox thanks for answering! Sometimes though it’s easy to look for “facts” from reality that “fit” with my paranoid thought so it’s hard sometimes to reality check
Same here, makes me suicidal too
I feel you so much. One of the biggest hurdles...
Many years ago I diagnosed myself with ocpd I had cbt many years ago for a few things but we never touched on ocpd and honestly I just felt like I was ocd. So I put it out of my head. Cbt did it’s job on what I went for and I thought I was fixed. I always find myself coming back to videos like this trying to understand why I think and feel the way I do when things go wrong and why I can’t just get it out of my head and move on like everyone tells me. I feel like crying watching this because everything is ringing true for me again like it did nearly ten years ago when I first started reading about ocpd. I just want help to know how to live with this because it’s ruining my life. 😔
Ugh. Cluster B is exhausting, specifically BPD.... It's exhausting for everyone, for ourselves as a person with BPD, for our loved ones, and for unprepared mental health care providers. I think I've inadvertently destroyed several therapists, one of which severed the relationship without warning. I mean, sorry for feeling bad :(
How is OCPD different from PTSD? I follow well but it’s all getting confusing to me. Currently reading "The Body Keeps the Score". Great book on PTSD!
I'm 95 per cent sure my husband has OCPD. Since he refuses to get professional help, I may never know for sure. As far as I know, he was not abused growing up. My SIL told me stories which make me think he was born with it. Sadly, back then his parents didn't get him any help (OCPD probably hadn't even been discovered yet), and they let him get away with bad behavior which continues to this day. He did suffer the traumatic loss of his father when he was 16. He is a tortured soul. 😢
Do you do online sessions? I need your help in my life!😭🙌
it's possible that my quiet bpd is covering up some ocpd tendencies as well, definitely something to consider.
I've been diagnosed with BPD and OCD. I wonder if I have OCPD? I'll bring that up in therapy. Unfortunatly I don't think my therapist as good as you, as knowledgeable as you.
I have C-PTSD which is very similar to BPD. I often tend to have varying obsessions with people.
Right now I'm obsessed with finding the perfect Barbie. Problem is the criteria keep changing! The perfect blonde barbie, the perfect brunette barbie, the perfect barbie career... And there are so may genres and eras to find the perfect Barbie of! I'm embarrassed to admit I've already spent thousands in four months. I love them though. They decorate my house. So what I did, I locked up my money, so I have only my wages to live on, so I can't actually spend as much. That should help. Cuz I wondered if the money were as it were, burning a hole in my pocket. I'm so used to being poor that maybe it was like, "I gotta get rid of this money! ANd get back to what I'm used to, cuz I can't feel sorry for myself like this." "Like hurry up and get rid of it already!"
I also have always had a thing about my hands being clean. Then I got a dog, and dogs sniff and mouth and lick people's hands constantly. It drives me nuts!!! I have BPD and OCPD.
I also have the problem that every time I take my dog for a walk, this inane, unidentifiable snipit of music comes back to my head. I intentionally replace it with Fleetwood Mac, cuz that's nicer to listen to, usually Gypsy. As a kid, when I was sick, the music in my head was so realistic, I thought the radio was on, but I couldn't turn the radio off. The music just kept playing, very scary.
I have been obsessing about things for over two years. It’s happened before and somehow I snapped out of it. I’ve become a scary and terrified version of myself in a dark hole. I feel so out of touch with love and what matters. I’m dissociated and in such a weakened anxiety and depressed state. My problems seem all too much, and I’m afraid to take any action and decide what to do. And anger. More anger than I ever remember in my entire life; and I think I’m mostly angry that I’m this way.
So similiar situation. Never felt like that in my whole life, don' t know what to do, , everything is overwhelming , anger , even rage, fears.......But slowly is going better, daily routine, small steps, meditativ music. I was shocked when started that chaos, started going better when I accepted situation like a phase, like some sort of cleansing of supressed feelings.
Best regards
I had a breakdown in 2018. Then in 2019 what you mentioned occurred. It was a dark anxiety and depressed state. Complete confusion and then doctors started me on meds. Prozac and antipsychotics. Suicidal thoughts galore. Jesus christ. Never been so lost. Then after pouring my heart out to everyone no one has any answers. I need to reflect reflect reflect. Fucking tiring. Anyway..yesterday, i had my little pep talk with myself and realised no one can help so going back to work and going to be a cunt whenever i feel the need. Hope you are ok brother. I feel your pain xo
@@zemljankavesna wow this was deep. Thinking of it this was about supressed feelings is deeeep. Hope you are ok
Rip
I'm not even in this session but I noticed the different tone of voice compared to the other video I just watched I was instantly like "he doesn't want me here!" lmfaooo girl chill
I wish more therapists were like you
Your videos are super helpful, Dr. Fox! Thanks so much and please keep posting them
my "mild ocd" is a useful one though. i tend to check a few times that all the burners in the stove are all turned off. i created this weird strategy in my head where i imagine the sound of lights being turned off in an empty gym where turning off the power is quite audible because the space is echo-y in a gym or any space that large and empty. so i would imagine that echo-y sound as i check each burner making sure it's turned off, a sound in my imagination would "clear" that burner, and i would do this to "clear" all the burners in the stove, EVEN while i can see with my eyes that they are NOT in use. i need to check that the knobs are not accidentally left open. if i don't do the mental drill with the echo-y sound in my head, i can't leave the kitchen. this is what works for me now.
in the past, what my crazy mind came up with is to imagine my fingers being pricked with a needle that a globule of blood would come out (in my head of course), and for each burner with the knob turned off, i imagined that needle prickling my finger, this would "clear" the burner. i would do this to clear all the burners. eventually, it stopped working and the compulsion hasn't ceased to keep checking that all the burners and the knobs are turned off even when the logical part of my brain can tell that it's all turned off. that irrational compulsion persisted, so my crazy mind invented another mechanism, and that's the echo-y sound of turning off lights in a gym.
the reason why i persist in being kind of ok with this is because my careless sister had burnt food on the stove several times in the past as she would leave the kitchen while she's cooking and forget that she's cooking. a few times she actually left food that had turned so goddamned black that the kitchen filled with smoke.
if you think your ocd is “””helpful””” then you’re not experiencing ocd. it’s fucking debilitating
Thank you so much for creating these videos! You are bringing so much love and light into this dark world!
Thank you for making these videos DR Fox
i am obsessed with the cleanliness of my little brother. i noticed this in Bojack horseman too where he is concerned about his sister's "grubbiness". its mostly cleanliness related, there's more but can't be shared here.
I like that you have a guitar in the background of your video about obsessions. Oh the countless hours I've wasted mastering music.
please could you do a video on borderline personality spectrum / difference between borderline personality disorder and borderline personality traits ? i can't find any information on this. thank you
Yes this one for me 2
yes! please
why did i think that first stock image was David Archuleta? ahaha. anyway, i'm binging your videos Dr Fox. so comforting and educational.
Can it be harder to differentiate between OCPD and BPD when BPD presents as “quiet” due to the ability to control. What if the ability to control mentioned in OCPD is really just internalizing and is instead quiet BPD?
It feels like the universe is throwing things at me, making things up to explain my behaviors. It feels invasive and makes me feel false because everything he is saying makes sense and sounds like what I do
Yup
People have always said I have BPD and I read about it and I'm like hey that's me! But hearing you talk about OCPD just made me feel uneasy it's like you know me and you're describing me so I'm a overwhelmed with that lmao but better know this now than never. It might be both as well
Sad I don't live in the US would've loved to get help from you because it seems like you know so much more than the avrage therapist about mood disorders
Bvd bpd ocd op up bd dvd.... this one drives me crazy to listen to. But your videos are usually very helpful and informative
This was very helpful, thank you Dr. Fox.
Glad it was helpful!
Your so adorable Dr Fox and really knowledgeable on bpd 🤗thank you I really enjoy your videos and am learning a lot
My diagnosis is somewhere in this video. An official diagnosis may never come. Mental Health is graciously allowing me a therapist who is giving me CBT-related instruction and homework. It’s helpful in many ways in that I am recognizing my thoughts before they screw everyone’s day up, and my anxiety level is much improved. I have no friends or work, so there’s that.
My question is, if all that is available is CBT, how can I augment it or learn DBT. Im seeing many areas where Im fundamentally ‘wrong’ at heart and it’s hard to not be wrong in expression.
Im doing well, I think. I hope to make myself not backslide -proof when stressors happen, like work or relationships.
I'm diagnosed with bpd and ocd ...maybe I have OCPD? Seems similar.
@Iris Bos oKay, hmm ... thanks for the feedback. I may have OCD traits.
I'm crying. Wow.
👍
You’re speaking straight to me again Dr fox. Thanks for the interesting information. You always hit the nail on the head. Is this possibly why I get so angry when my favorite person doesn’t (for lack of a better phrase) read my mind? He can do things without considering how I will feel or react sometimes (which is absolutely normal human behavior, if I’m or others are doing it) and I want to exploded in sarcasm and angry words and put him down? I have to catch myself which I usually don’t even know I’m doing it until I’ve spewed hatred! I then feel so self loathing and disgusted with myself because he (in my BPD mind) should read my mind after 31 years?
Sounds like your building some insight. Use this to manage those tendencies. You can do it.
I found this disappointing. I was hoping for a more specific coping skills guideline once you’re in the middle of an obsession and can’t get out.
Me too
Could you make a video outlining the differences between BPD and OCPD in terms of diagnostic characteristics and discuss cobormidity of these two personality disorders?
I have a video on this you may find helpful
Getting it outta your head is the problem...It's impossible to get it out ...think bout it aloow it allow worst case scenario n your obsession will go down n you'll be fine...
Yes. This is so true. Thank you Dr. Fox💚
You are so welcome
I highly recommend checking out the 5 biotypes of depression and the work of Dr. Bill Walsh on mental disorders
Thank you so much for this
i have intense ocd traits when dealing with my favorite person
Thank you for sharing.
Yea especially when they say my favorite word-tada!!
I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 19 or 20, I'm now 28. I'm striving to learn about my obsessivness.
I also have these symptoms, but instead I rage at myself and hurt myself when it gets too much, or have meltdowns.
Good insight. Use this to develop adaptive strategies. Be well.
ily man ur helping me keep my sanity
I never get anything done. Always get sidetracked by details, for example it took me more than an hour to get the sink ready to do dishes.
Dishes piled up bc my kitchen light burnt out & I didn't know how to change it..so couple weeks went by in darkness
I'm always afraid.my eyes sting just from those 3 words. I see the world through a lens of dread
Impossible to make decisions
Impossible to stay present
Everything is perfect in my daydream world..;^)
Happy St Patrick's Day ♧ *spring is here!* ♧
Ty Dr Fox
You’re welcome. I wish you well.
Is it common for OCPD and NPD to be comorbid? The OCPD sounds alot like my ex. He was very rigid and would verbally talk about his plans for the day over and over again. I thought this was his way to stay focused so he didnt resort to drinking (he was a recovering alcoholic) He also love bombed me, devalued, and abruptly discarded me without any warning or closure.
Collenga S yes, not uncommon and would make for a good video. Thanks.
Wow this is helpful, thanks
My boyfriend is obsessed over my brother and obsessed with why he does not want to be friends with my boyfriend and it is torturing me because I love my boyfriend and I wish he would be obsessed with why I love him instead of caring what my brother thinks.
One of my compulsions is when someone makes me feel unwanted or is angry at me i go to them to try and seek validation or to “fix” what i thought was their bad perception of me what caused them to treat me the way they did. I feel like my narc ex figured out this pattern and would be mean to me because he knew that is what would have me give him more narcissistic supply.
It never worked it just caused a cycle of me going back to them and feeling abandoned over and over again
That certainly sounds like a difficult cycle. Thank you for sharing and I think it helps others to read and learn of your experience and seeing the depth of insight that you have developed.
@@DrDanielFox thanks to these videos, you and all online resources that have helped me gain more insight! the obsessions and compulsions dont go away, but the awareness is a shining light to understanding and managing them which can be very helpful. Thank you
You are educating me, Thank you.
Can they lack empathy? Thank you ❤ I have extreme perfectionism :"( can't help it. When I try I get too careless instead
I have been suffering from ocd for more than 12 years. I get violent thoughts and sexual thoughts, and urges of god. I get anxiety and racing heart from it. When I try to control them, it comes even more. I feel like the worst person and giving up on me. Please help
Have you had an experience of HOCD?
When I watch this video (I’ve been diagnosed with BPD, OCD, and ADHD) and I’m just think that the symptoms that are the most problematic to me are dissociation and integration issues. Beyond that I really don’t know what to say.
Perfectionism x 10,000
I suffered physical abuse. My inner parent has taken over by punishing self with excessive exercise.
When my girlfriend was alive, i had trouble travelling with her. I say with her but the problem was obviously mine. I felt I couldn't control all the aspects of the trip
Thank you for the comment. Be well.
@@DrDanielFox thank you for creating the adequate space for such a comment.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Imi pare rau, man.
@@st0a thank you deeply
It seems like I can’t normally like someone in a healthy way im either not interested or I’m obsessed with them wich is debilitating and it’s usually with people that are emotionally unavailable towards me
Saaame😢