A Summer of Being Out: A Follow Up to Coming Out
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ส.ค. 2012
- Here's my follow up video to coming out. Sorry it's so long and I know there is an audio issue for a little bit, sorry about that! :(
Link to my article on Equality:
aftreffect.blogspot.com
Also, let me know if you guys want me to keep making videos and if so, what they should be about...
Other stuff that I do:
Blog - aftreffect.blogspot.com
Twitter - aftreffect
Google+ - Jacob Thomas
DISCLAIMER: All views and commentary expressed on this channel and in videos or comments by Jacob Thomas are solely his thoughts and views and do not in any way reflect or intend to reflect the opinions and views held by the United States Air Force, Department of Defense, or the United States Government or any such organization.
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If someone tells you they aren't comfortable with you being gay, just tell them YOU aren't comfortable with them being heterosexual. That ought to shut them up!
Thank you Jacob, I from a different era. A little over a year ago, a friend of mine who’s son came out at 22 to his dad, was disowned and thrown out. The boy hung himself. His mom tried suicide after hearing the news. Just so you know, you’re saving lives by your story. I am not a religious person but, God bless you.
First off, Jacob, thank you so much for you service! It took me 40 years to come out. My parents never knew. Same with the rest of my family. Those closest to me know me and love me for who I am. I'm so proud of you because coming out is never easy, but you had the strength and courage to do it. Yes, I feel so much better about myself, as I'm sure you do, Thanks for this video...I know it will help!
Please make more videos. Would love to hear more about you and your life. well done.
Can i take the place of the one of those 3 friends who left u?🤭🤭🤭 lots of love. 👍🏻❤
I'm so happy for you!!! Your story made me cry.
I commented on the original post. You explained some of my questions in this one.
GO for it!
So, so happy that you are!
I know this post was ages ago, but I am really pleased you have found yourself.
I'm older, but I love that you (and hopefully others) don't have to go through what we did.
I love hearing coming out stories. And it's always great when I hear positive outcomes.
Thanks for making this follow up Jacob! It's important that people hear your story.
thats awesome that alot people stood by you im very lucky myself to have family and friends who have been there for me since i came out.... very happy to hear your happy and accepting yourself but good thing you still have people on your side.....
Thank you. I've come out to a lot of people but I'm terrified of what's going to happen with my family and my dad especially when I come out to them. Thank you so much for helping me have a little hope. I really, really needed it.
i just saw this video and i want to say that you have dont something that is very important to allot. it's very sad that person have to hide who they are or how they feel about another person, but honesty i believe is the best way forward, all the best Jacob Thomas on your journey.
Thank you for serving. Best of luck in your journey. I support you.
Have been watching your videos and following your story as you have shared it.I'm glad your summer is going well. Appreciate what you have to share; I "like"-ed you on TH-cam. Keep talking-you have a lot to share-most especially who you are. I was USN for too many years-environment is a whole lot different today than it was when I did my time. Good on you-always!
I'm so proud of you for having the courage to come out as you did. I also came out to my family many years ago, but only after I came home from my service in the Army. Of course back then being out and in the military was not possible, though I had a lot of gay soldier friends, male and female. I, like you, felt so much better about myself -- the self-denial phase was over and the love-yourself-phase begun. Almost all my friends & family were understanding and accepting. Thanks for your service!
You've done admirably. Your first video was wrought with anguish and concern, I felt for you, even if I wasn't your original audience. You've got a good attitude and healthy outlook now, keep at it!
Hi Jacob! I'm glad for the most part that you had a very positive response to your video! I hope those who didn't react to well come round and if not then they're the ones missing out on what an amazing and caring individual you are! Look forward to your next video Take Care. Kevin
So cute! And you're face is lit right up in this video, like you couldn't be happier. That is a beautiful thing!
You rock! Thanks for posting an update.
I loved your videos. Sincere and emotion filled. Best of the coming out videos I've seen.
Hey Jacob, thanks for your coming out video and this follow up video. Coming out is part of the decision to live an authentic life. And I am happy that you have decided to live life as Jacob Thomas and not try to continue to play a role of someone else. When you live life according to who you are, things becomes much easier. Yes, some who knew you earlier may no longer to be able to befriend you. Maybe they weren't real friends anyway. If there is dialog, there is a chance for those friendships.
Great job on coming out! Keep on moving forward:)!
Fantastic video, I applaud your courage, I too came out, but at age 56, two years ago. What a jump start you have, I am so glad that you came out and did not waste the years that I have. Congratualtions and good luck for the future. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Jacob, As in the last video I watch your confidence and feel honored to view, thank you for the follow up and I cannot wait for your summation video, even though it will sadden me if you never post again, Douglas, Florence, Or, USA
Jacob, I am not an ordained minister, I am a person who grew up in a Southern Baptist Family, and did not have TH-cam or even the internet, I SO wish I did!! I thought I was the only guy who liked guys in the world, and thought for sure that I would not enter into the kindom of God or Heven. I strugled so much in and out of acceptance of myself, my family do accept me although they don't really like that I'm gay. But I am still a Christian, and God does LOVE you, He MADE you! your COOL Davidxx
Love this and I wish you the best, Jacob!
You are a lovely person.
Bless you.
Your very cute Jacob!!! I am glad you took the time to create this video. God Bless!! And thank you for your service!
that is an awesome story! Thank you for your service too.
REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU....Good job at coming out, keep that head up and yes, the people u think will leave u after coming out stay and then ones u think would not leave...end up leaving or not talin to u much...trust me I have an uncle in my life who does not talk to me much if any in 12years since I came out, but im little hurt still by it...but it does noes stop me from being me!!! good job again Jacob, feel free to message me on fb jssmt
Hi Jacob, your article on equality is just awesome!!!! It is wonderful to hear such an articulate, passionate person speak with such compassion and common sense. With the debate and decisions re marriage equality being defended by such as you, it is only a matter of time the rest of the world catches up! Thank you.
Way to stay strong cuz. Life is about being happy. Don't let anyone ever take that away from you. At the end of the day you are the one that matters so do what it takes to be happy and never feel like you have to hide again.
God bless and may you find someone to share your wonderful soul
Jacob great for you man and Thanks for your Service
You have the best smile. I'm happy to hear you say how well things are going for you. Thank you for your service to our country.
I'm sorry to hear that you had some people who couldn't accept who you are, but I'm glad that you've decided to live your life on your own terms. Congratulations to you, and thanks for sharing your story.
Hi Jacob.. Thanks for your coming out videos. You are hero to every young man or women at terms with their sexuality . I will be sixty five in four days, your words were mine forty years year's ago. What a blessing you are to humanity, thank you for your courage and love to your family and friends and the many people you touched around the world,. much love and respect ! Dave
Happy too see you smile again =]] we are beautiful for who we are!
let me say i enjoyed watching your videos your such an awesome person and i hope you meet someone special!!! best of luck to you
Good luck, mate. I hope one day I'll be able to be as brave as you.
Making this vid and then showing his parents, and then posting it on Facebook and then TH-cam was remarkably bold and brave and took enormous courage and self confidence.
Keep being you, because who you are is beautiful. And you have a pretty smile
Thank you!
Jacob, Congratulations! I'm glad things turned out the way they did for you. In your current situation, military wise, this must have been very difficult to forsee the outcome. Since you came out, and this update, wow what a transformation of emotions. You seem more confident, less burdened. It is said the lord doesn't give us anymore than we can handle. Thank you for sharinga and I look forward to getting to know you better. Thank you for your service.
Scott
29575
Dear Mr. Thomas. You are great and good. Here is a post written with love that I hope you will take the minute of two it takes to read all of. I believe it might help you a little bit in coming to terms with all the confusion you feel and the negative reactions of some others.
I have a masters degree in theology. I hope that I can help you a bit on a few things when it comes to explaining to those who do not accept you or who outright reject you. Much of what passes for "Christianity" today, and is often in the headlines, is merely a shell or caricature of true Christianity. Fundamentalism in Christianity creates huge problems as does the fundamentalism in Islam (see ISIS for example). Interpreting the Bible requires great amounts of study and going back in time to understand the milieu in which the various books were written. Just reading it with a 21st Century mindset and understanding of things does violence to the Scriptures and often leads to very wrong and unchristian conclusions. So interpreting them is an on-going study and process as knowledge and human understanding continue to progress.
Today we are awash in a veritable tidal wave or Everest sized avalanche of new knowledge. In the last 150 years or so humans have learned more about themselves, the planet and the universe than in the previous 10,000 years! In recent years the science of genetics has developed a new branch of studies called "Epigenetics". It is based on the discovery that the genes in our DNA are influenced in their expression by small amounts of chemicals called "Epigenetic Markers". These affect the function of our genes and in the case of sexuality, results in in about 89% to 90% of the population being what we would call basically "straight" to a stronger or weaker degree. For about 10% to 11% it results in persons who are primarily oriented to the same sex to a greater or lesser degree. (LGBT). This is something that begins in the womb with the formation of a person's body and is part of a natural process.
Thus a person is"gay" BY NATURE. It is not something that they choose; it is not a "lifestyle choice" and one cannot change it anymore than you can change the color of your eyes, or your hair, or your skin. It is simply part of YOU. Putting it in "religious" terms, if you are Gay by the nature that is created by God then that is the way God made you. And in His eyes you are good, acceptable, lovable, and infinitely valuable.
Here is a line you can learn and use to express yourself. "Being gay is a natural variation of the expression of the gene for sexuality that is the result of the influence of epigenetic markers that are part of your DNA as it was formed in the womb." It is not perverse, depraved, disgusting or sinful. It is simply the way you are. Furthermore, homosexuality is found throughout nature.
To date, and it is increasing as studies progress, there are over 500 species of animals in which there is documented scientific observation of homosexual behavior. Everything from Whales and Dolphins and other cetaceans, to Seals and Walrus, to Elephants, Giraffes, Antelope, Lions, Terns, Penguins, Geese, Ducks, apes (from Gorillas to Chimpanzees, Bonobos, Orangutans, Baboons, and Monkeys), Dogs, Cats, even various species of insects! So homosexuality is part of nature itself; and according to religious tenets, nature is created by God and functions according to his Divine Plan.
This avalanche of new information has yet to be assimilated by the major churches as it will greatly influence their teachings on the part sexuality plays in human life. Nevertheless there are many theologians working on this. After all, about 450 years ago the church taught that the Earth was the center of the universe and condemned Galileo for saying that it revolved around the sun! Science proved him right. And about 435 years later or so, Pope John Paul II (just declared a saint by the church) wrote a papal letter stating basically that Galileo was right and it was wrong for the church to have condemned him and caused him so much suffering as the teaching of the Church at the time was in error!
The basic tenets of the faith called "Dogma" are those which the church asks us to accept as infallible, and undeniable. (Such as that there is a God; three persons in that one God; that the second person of the Trinity became man through the Virgin Mary; was crucified, died, was buried and rose from the dead. That He is now the judge and advocate for the living and the dead etc. etc. These and many things besides are contained in the Nicene Creed which many churches use in their services. Besides these there are other things, but all in the same vein.
However, Moral Theology, Political Theology, Cosmology etc. are considered "speculative theological sciences" and are always in a process of being refined, rethought, corrected, and expanded and do not have the same weight as Dogma. Thus, while one should consider them carefully and seek to understand the principles on which these statements are made, one is free in conscience to disagree with them where they conflict with your conscience and what you know and believe in your heart.
You do not have to abandon your belief in God and His infinite love for you. Rather in all things follow the only COMMAND that Jesus gives in the scriptures where he says: "My Command to you is this: LOVE ONE ANOTHER!" If you truly seek to live by love, loving yourself, and loving others in that same way, not succumbing to greed, fear, hatred, anger, selfishness, or self-pity, then you will not go far wrong in your life and you will be happy with yourself. Always know that God is with you and loves you as His son whom He created, with an infinite love that is never withdrawn.
Sorry that this turned out so long, but I hope it has helped a little bit in the face of all the confusing and often negative things you may experience from not only those who disagree with you, but those who side with you as well.
I am now old, but hope to see you some day in the realm of whatever God has in store for us in the next life.
Blessings to you always.
S.
admirable post! Love it!
S Robertson Thank you for this post. I think this clarifies the issue as best it can be. Had I understood these things sixty years ago, even forty years ago, my life would have been quite different.
Omg ur so cute and adorable I don't know who could not be accepting of who u r.
Just caught up on ur coming out videos. Very powerful. U r very brave and courageous. Living ur life w no lies! Free at last free at last thank god Almighty i am free at last!
Just because people are unhappy with you doesn't mean that they won't come around. They have to learn from themselves that they have to love you for you. I had a similiar coming out, and had a very religious family, don't worry they come around in their own time. Its as hard for them, as it was hard on you. Your seem like a strong person don't let anyone bring you down! I know this is almost a year later, so I hope you are doing well!!
You are a wonderful human being and it is such a relief to see you being comfortable after your first, heart-wrenching coming out video when you had tears in your eyes and were shattered and in despair fearing that your parents might stop loving you. You are a real role model for all young LGBT people. Congratulations - you are a great guy!
I love you and you are a beautiful soul and am an amazing person! Keep being who you are? Take care!!
Thanks for being such a great role model for young guys finding their way. I just want to suggest that I believe God is in you and directing your path to do what He has purposed for you from the beginning. Trust Him. I've experienced most of the same struggles you have in the military and even church before I found that the same God of all nations and peoples was walking right beside me. "Love", you mention, is the key..
Sending you lots of love.
Jacob, you are much more relaxed on this video, I hope you continue too progress. Ian (UK)
I applaud your bravery. Wonderful video and thanks for updating us on what happened afterwards ~
I hope things continue improving for you with your family, since coming out
Random, but who did you record this with (if anyone besides yourself)?
Thank u so much..
Maybe just little advice Jacob from someone that has been there ,,don't waste alot of time and aggravation on ones that have unfriended you.! most wont change there closed minds anyway and new friends that come out of all of it will be well worth it! Your eyes tell it all and yes they are a window to you soul, love and be loved,Dave G.
hi mate sure they,ll be ok about it later, remember its your job to shock them sometimes! i did telling my parents 1 was 76 and 1 was 77, my dad took it better than my mum!! you,ll feel relief getting it out in the open dude!good luck, take care mate!
Jacob, I am a speechless admirer, you are intellectually, courageously and truthfully 100% quality. You tick every box I can think of. But shucks, I just wish you were here, and not there. :)
Jacob, well done. I salute you for simplifying your life. As for the Christian aspect, most church goers put more effort into talking about the Bible than into instilling the message of love onto their hearts and minds, to have it actually affect their attitudes and the way they live. They 'live in theory' but do not get down to the practice of becoming love. You just continue on your way and you'll be fine.
You are amazing and so brave, I wish I had just an ounce of your courage so I could tell my family.
As a Christian that also happens to be Gay, know that, no matter what people tell you - you can stand on truth. Truth that God loves you the way He created you. If your Gay then that's what you're supposed to be. If a person is Straight, then that's what THEY were supposed to be. It took attempting to take my life, not succeeding, reading the Bible for myself, praying & then REALIZING God's Truth & Love. And no one can shake my knowledge of TRUTH. Thank you for posting this video. I'm glad you did.
Great post buddy, hope lifes great for you now, remember your a unique and beautiful individual, be strong and proud best wishes,from the uk,
Thank you for your honesty and great courage. Buddha's blessings on you.
Fuck off.
I wish you to be happy, take care.
Nice follow up bro. Total respect ! .
Your shared comments regarding "coming out" were heartfelt and boyishly charming; If you lived in my area of the country and squashed the age difference. We could have had the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Jacob, Ur a great person-great vid!!!!
Thanks, for your update on your real life!!
PLEASE keep talking to us all. your in a league of your own.
First great vid second when I came out I started a youtube channel to which Im a activist for Equality for all. One more thing THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE much respect for just that alone. And for you be brave in coming out. Be safe
You seem more relaxed and happier in this video than in your coming out video. Glad you were generally well accepted. I realize at this stage you may feel more reconciliation between religion and sexuality. Internet has a lot of resources. You can google "Created Gay" and find articles, a large number of links to GLBT Christian sites and many gay affirming sermons and devotions. Wishing you nothing but the very best. Thank you for sharing sensitive and moving videos.
Love your haircut guy!
you are great bro thank you lone you
You have a nice smile! Tell us what part of the military you are in and what you do.
Thanks, enjoyed our written discourse!
Stay strong!
I'm a little more than twice your age, i never thought i would live to see this day. You are a leader in Humanity. I was to scared to come out when i was your age, back then it was worth your life. People like you have changed society drastically. Thank you so much, you have helped make the world a better place. If you ever need a shoulder or an opinion send me a message.
You definitely look more confident than you did in your previous (coming out) video. Life can be terrific, enjoy.
How it is possible that your skin cleared up between the coming out video and this one?
Oh, wait - because you're happier! :) All the best!!!!!
Thanks for sharing! :)
Yuo are a very courageous person. I wish my generation of gay men had your courage. I hopein some small way we made your coming out process just a bit easier.
HI Jacob you are so brave and thank you for the great vidieo.I know it had to be very hard to do.GOD BLESS YOU
I ran out of Characters...The three people who unfriended you, could not really be true friends. I have had that happen too, and it bothers me, because I want everyone to like me. We as LGBT people have come SO VERY far, but more must come. Whilst I do not know you personally, basied on your videos, your are kind, gentle, and caring..Who could ask for more in a friend I hope you find a FANTASTIC guy to share your life with.. Hugs David xx
In the Military and a Christian? A man after my own experience! Good job!
see we told you it gets better, good luck young man.
thanks for sharing you story with us, i hope you continue making videos, mainly because you have a cute face and im sure a beautiful heart. make video on more of your journey now that you are out, as people come to grips with it, some vids on general issuse people face in todays world. maybe even a cover song or something ha. God Bless and take care. Thank you for also Serving in the Military.
First as I told you in your first video, there is nothing wrong with you, you are a sweet person worthy of being loved, there is nothing wrong wiTh
You are a brave and nice young man. As somebody has already said, talk to us about your military life.
You are too cute! I'm so glad you had such minimal backlash. No one needs that when they are just trying to be themselves.
I love your videos
Peace be upon you, as a fellow human beings I just want to say that:-
If you got anybody in your life that ever speak to you ''how did it come to this'' in the wrong ways, you know what I mean. This is what you tell them, you just look at straight into their eyes and you says:
1. Humanity is about we bring ourselves to loves someone else, no matter what colour, no matter what race, no matter what religion, and no matter what gender. Humanity just want us to be loved, and to be able to love somebody back.
2. When you get to God, He doesn’t judge you by your sexuality, He judges you by what type of individual you are.
3. And in God's eyes kindness and love are what it’s all about.
Gay, straight, or whatever; how can anyone resist this cute smile? I love your candor and honesty.
Jacob...as a Methodist ministers son..i feel that i have some cognizance of where you're coming from...i waited to come out until i was 45 yrs old..and in the process...married twice..i realize now, how unfair that was to the 2 women involved...i applaud your having the cajones to come out and express yourself,,if we all would make ourselves known..i'm sure that the perceptions of "gay" people would be truly different...thank you
I feel the Love.Happy Pride
I found it comforting to remember: God didn't "fix" you because there was nothing wrong with you. I watched your first video...you were very intense. You look much better, more comfortable now. Congratulations. You're a good person.
Hello Jacob, I think you're very brave to have taken a coming-out on this network.
Today I look at another one of your videos, almost 2 months after your coming out, I think you're more relaxed on the second video.
You seem to have become the young man who remained hiding inside you before this radical change happens after coming out as we say in France.
Courage, you already well advanced.
Take care of yourself.
Goodbye.
200% true.
tnaww.. the world needs more ministers like you :)
{ love you for being you...
Hey Jacob, things will work out. Day at a time. Check out two great vids, Russ gay marine, and Kevin Gillespie coming ou.t. Kevin is navy. Both are very powerful. I admire your courage and am proud of you!
Hey Jacob! Congratulations on coming out! Please do not lose any sleep or waste time worrying about the "friends" who don't want to be in your life because you are gay. They were never truly your friends to begin with. You have lost nothing. And you also cannot live your live for your relatives who may not 'approve' of your being gay. It isn't their life to live, it is yours! Sending you love and support.....
Thanks again for the update, I am not against religion but I do see a pattern in the amount of repression people feel over all in any religious family or communities environment, it’s just that religion in general to me I feel is one of the main components of so many divisions in humanity and it’s often used at the highest levels as a control mechanism of entire societies all though history and its tuff for those who are seemingly so indoctrinated in to these types of religious teachings to the point that we now have whole generations of people who are in fear. I am not sure what the answers are to this problem, but I clearly do see the problems that religion more often than not creates, religion without morals, love and compassion should be eradicated from earth, religion is often for those who are afraid of going to hell while spirituality are for those who have already been their. I don’t mean to pick on religion, it’s not my intent, but their clearly is a pattern here as a result of some of these belief systems and far to many to just simply continue to ignore and this must be talked about openly and honestly among all people, there is not one of us who can have all the answers, but collectively, I am sure we can come to better understandings, simply saying being gay is wrong because a bible told you so is not going to cut it, a bible is to me a story book and I for one don’t think it should be taken so literally, we are all free individuals free to explore the many aspects life has to offer, to be limited by such a narrow and limited mindset often associated with religious beliefs is just wrong on so many levels, I don’t know the answers really, but I do know and understand the problem