Fascinating, i didn't recognize that i could be using passive aggression in school- leading into my addiction of procrastination😟. Thanks for the video😅
there is probably nothing wrong with the way you communicate as long as you do not have evil intent...and even then its perfectly fine as long as you dont break the law. There is nothing wrong with being who you are...if you dont want to talk to someone then dont...if you dont want to respond to someone then dont...its that simple. Don't listen to this lady's "we are all friends" nonsense way of communicating.
It's nice to see another video from you, your personality sets you apart from everyone else! It's really like you are giving us a taste of your true self, not as others who hide behind a fake character. Keep it up, teacher Jade!
Thank you for bringing these passive aggressive mind game examples to light. It helps me know I am not crazy when witnessing it. As an immigrant living in Seattle I continually hear people state as a given that it’s a predominantly passive aggressive culture. So it’s a lifelong project for my straightforward self to navigate this subversive manipulation 🙄
This type of lessons is very good, and I feel it's kind of treatment in fixing relations and simplifying understanding between people... Thank you for making life easier.
@@engvidJade this is garbage...you pretend like your form of communicating is better than another persons...simply because you respond to certain forms of communication. lololol thats called being naive
You're getting to be my favorite teacher. You're genuine and brave. Not everybody would have the courage to bring up that crafty remark about the hair allegedly sticking out from your nose. Anyway, anyone who had the slightest notion of decency would never ever have said that to you in comments. Cudos to you.
FYI...forcing someone to be rude to you vs ignoring you is not the right trade off... people don't need to get emotional verbally with you just because you respond to only certain forms of communication
This is scary how often you hear these things in everyday life. I’ve even been known to use some myself - scary! Great lesson and well presented as always.
Yay! Jade's slaying! You know, we teachers learn to detect the intentions behind a person's speech... Always. I'm happy that you don't let yourself fall down due to evil people. They exist everywhere. By the way, I think you're an excellent English teacher. Who said you weren't??? You're not afraid of showing your personality and I'm sure many students love you for that reason.
oh my god. now I know how I must look to other people. I have adhd and a lot of things I do to other people because of that. and I don't think its exclusively passive aggressive. Although I think I am not good at expressing anger, so sometimes I might be still passive aggressive. I really wanna turn to be assertive instead.
These are accurate, but let’s not forget there is also another kind of toxic people who will accuse you of being passive aggressive when you’re doing all of the above as part of your life and not on purpose to anger someone.
I Don't usually comment videos, but I must say u are amazing. I found your videos a few days ago and there are so many interesting topics u are talking about. Haven't even realized someone might actually comment person's hair color or smth like that.. this is just gross.. please be urself and keep doing ur videos. These are very useful for those who really into English not bullying.
I’ve never understood passive aggression. Thank you so much for making this video. My partner is extremely passive aggressive, which I believe he learned from his wife of 30 years. She was EXTREMELY manipulative and passive aggressive. Because of your video, I’ve pointed out ways in which he’s passive aggressive, and before, all I could communicate was to say “we need better communication”. But now, I can give specific examples and hopefully solve the problem, as we’re getting married in a couple of months” I’m very excited to find this video, and I believe it’s going to help us immensely. Thank you so much!!!!!
I think it's important to keep in mind the intention of the person using these phrases or behavior. For example, I am used to being a bit on the passive side (something I'm working on, tough home life stuff) so sometimes my niceness may come off is disingenuous, when I really meant no harm at all. Then, some people who are disorganized are especially prone to forgetfulness and unreliability. The video could be misleading in this way. A combination of these issues, for me, has ended up with a perfectly put together display of these passive aggressive tendencies, which I never even intentionally meant as passive aggression. Of course this is no excuse for hurting someone in this way (I am really working on these things) but I have been accused by practically all of my partners and friends at some point or another, or frequently, or purposely being snarky or rude. I honestly didnt even realize that "fair enough" or "to each his own" or "suit yourself" etc were passive aggressive phrases, since these are things I have seen many passive folks use in argumentative situation. I say these things all the time, so thank you for sharing these and giving us a heads up on how this stuff is accidentally coming across (Now that you point it out, I say a lot of people definitely do say these things as a way to be manipulative.)
When I feel that I'm being intruded upon, I will become passive aggressive very quickly. For example: You come over to my house, my place of security without letting me know you were coming? oooooh!!! I'll let you in with a kilowatt smile, go back to my bed room, close the door, and just stand there at the door, hoping you get the point and leave with, "I'll see you later."😥 Great sigh of relief!!! Isn't that terrible?🙁 I love my space. I am myself, mostly me when I'm to myself. I don't have to greet, smile, or pretend like I'm happy to see you when I'm not. I can be myself. When you call to tell me you are coming, you give me the chance to get in the right attitude to be socially engaging. Am I wrong for feeling so strongly about my personal space?
I am the same exact way.! And I told this to my landlord / who is also a so called friend... And guess what? Couple weeks later he comes to my apartment unannounced knocking on the door and brought a friend with him... This isn't the first passive-aggressive thing he's done, and so I just simply stuck my head out the door and said oh I'm sorry I'm just getting ready to leave... Which I actually was but not for a little bit...
Great video, loved the examples, spot on, keep up the good work Jade! It's taken a long time but I'm beginning to realize that a close family-member is passive-agressive, he's so careless & irresponsible, doesn't care about the consequences of actions & never seems to learn from mistakes. Takes forever to get anything done, doesn't ackowledge you when entering the house, keeps quiet most of the time, keeps conversations very short & answers questions by saying, "whatever," "you know, it is what it is," "we'll figure it out." Unfortunately, it's very immature and destructive behavior.
You nailed it! I suffered from a chronic passive aggressive person at work, who yearns to hurt me all the time. I tried to be nice with him ,but the more nice I become the more aggressive he become. I hated my job because of him , I just don't know how to deal with such people.
giving someone the cold shoulder is perfectly fine along with the silent treatment if that is what is needed in a given situation. different forms of communication are needed in different situations.
Lars, why do you think it might be so? My guess is that people in Germany are more direct and more honest even if they have to deal with uncomfortable situations. In my language (Ukrainian) there seems to be no issue at with 'Can I ask you', either. In my opinion, Brits are so polite and/or indirect that being direct in the uncomfortable situations makes them even more uncomfortable. For example, Jade mentioned working in the fake Italian restaurant. And she served the deserts as poorly as possible but just passing. That was a non-verbal message to other employees: "alarm! I am having a problem! Help!" And the more careful manager should have talked to Jade back then. Asking her the right question and providing her with the WARM shoulder. Not the cold one. So, talking over the problem could have sorted the problem out. And as the result, Jade could have enjoyed her restaurant work more. She might have stayed there longer and been promoted. And... We all would have never had such lovely lessons from Jade. Mixed blessing, isn't it?
Refraining from communication can be seeming self control to the passive aggressive person. Being argumentative and contentious, on the other hand expresses intolerance with a person they coexist.
OMG 😮 I do all of this (except the dishes one) I didn't know I was passive agresive but it makes sense because I just started therapy and she told me I have to start saying what I want/feel/thinl
Thanks for the informative video and sharing that you used to be stuck in the habit of being passive aggressive yourself. The irony is that most of my passive aggressive behavior seems to stem from my long ingrained people pleasing tendency and fear of confrontation 😅 it’s so hard to change this behavior when you’ve been doing it forever, but I’m gonna try my best.
That is so me omg 😮 😂😂😂 Once my bf told me that he doesn’t feel like going out and at first I said it’s okay then I got mad and I gave him the silent treatment
Don't feel guilty about that. Some people don't really want to understand the others behaviour and think it's passive aggressive, but they are not able to understand - maybe they are touchy.
Samuel Erickson couldn't agree more. We were taught if you have nothing nice to say say nothing at all but guess that's being passive aggressive as well, haha.
everyone is not simple and cunning people dominate simple, good and nice people. we cannot change the world so better learn these things to defense yourself
I am guilty of behaving passive aggressively because I grew up in a home where it was not safe to be direct. Being direct meant being subjected to the wrath of an extremely controlling and unsympathetic woman, my Great grandmother, who ran the household. My grandparents abandoned my mother to her as a child and my father left when I was a small child, which I use to blame them for leaving, but I am starting to think they had good reasons to not come around. I was not taught how to be direct and eventually buried my feelings to try and stay sane. I don't trust people because my family made the world a scary place, but that is slowly changing. I am currently in therapy and have been trying to stop a lot of automatic behaviors from my childhood that are triggered when in familiar situations. As I see the behaviors I know I do or have done, I feel a deep sense of guilt for ever partaking in such behavior. I was in a relationship that wasn't a good fit for me for far too long and it became toxic. It hurts knowing I only dragged out both of our pain for longer than I should have because I couldn't be direct. I was so cut off from my needs, feeling and self, that I wasn't able to be direct I am not proud of any of it and I don't take pleasure in knowing what I was unaware of has hurt people. I am grateful that now I have become more direct with communication and my needs are being met. This is what abuse will do to a person and it is no excuse for anything, but a little empathy can go a long way for a person like me. I hope this sheds a little light on the behavior a bit.
I would say some can change, but it is the responsibility of that person. I met my partner when we were teenagers and we both shared a broken childhood with abusive parents. You could say we were both emotionally unavailable; however, after a series of life events I became unable to cope with life and went to therapy. It has been a hard and long five years with more to come, but I had to own all the pain I went through as a kid and figure out my needs and feelings. Actually the inner voices in my head were passive aggressive towards me! I had to learned to distinguish the voices of controlling adults from my childhood from my own to stop people pleasing and engaging in toxic behaviors because I realized the pain it was causing others. I realized my partner and I had different morals and values, especially when it came to religion, family and goals. If I had been in a healthy mindset when we had met, it would have been a deal breaker, but I was so desperate to feel connected and loved with someone... anyone that I stayed. It was a hard pill to swallow when I had to admit that I didn't know what real love was and had to leave. Am I able to love? I hope I am, since I have met a new partner and I for once in my life feel safe and heard.
Some people are LATE, because they don't have a proper "sense of time" Just like, some people are better at cooking, tidiness, sports, or humor, fashion, elegance, dancing, etc. It's horrible that this component of being HUMAN is always judged as being purposefully directed at an individual. People who have problems with TIME mostly disappoint themselves the most.
English classes become beautiful when you emphasize the themes on real life, like the psychology of certain people and their behaviour as passive aggressive. Really useful
Omg I never my way of avoiding confrontation when I'm angry is so passive-aggressive 😯. At least I can try to change my ways now, thanks for the video!
My view of these examples is that they're all responses in a rude, disrespectful and impolite manner, showing total disregard or consideration towards another person - knowing it's hurtful. It's of corse always best to be kind and warm, avoiding hostile undertones. Treat others how you would prefer to be treated.
Wow at last, and this is 2021, another person than myself has experienced the inevitable insult that follows upon :"Can i ask you a question?". Not once has that question been otherwise than a disaster, an insult, the divulging of the true nature of the person who asks the question
When someone asks me if they can ask me a question, I usually try to answer something like : well, you can always ask but I'm not sure if I will answer.
Thanks for the great video again! You are an outstanding English teacher, and I enjoy your videos so much! And I don't actually think that you should pay attention to angry comments, because they are written by envious people: you look great, you have a very beautiful voice and you also have a huge audience of trusty listeners.
Dearest, why would anyone direct anything but good comments on you videos? You’re a natural and I so appreciate you, do carry on, won’t you, please. Cheers
I appreciate your willingness to "normalize" passive aggression because I have become aware of my passive aggressive tendencies. I have come to believe it to be a symptom of depression and anger against "the world" during COVID. I am concerned I am hurting the children who depend upon me to understand myself enough to not project my anger about being overwhelmed with chores just because I cannot motivate them to help.
I've said to people that have been furious with me " it's ok, your anger is yours not mine." I don't believe that's passive aggressive. It's making a point that just because they're angry doesn't mean you have to be equally so. A gentle enough reply does tend to make some people more angry though.
With someone who is having bad passive aggressive issues, you won't necessarily get any hint of what's going on. When I was younger my girlfriend at the time said a tiny tiny joke about me, just the two of us. And that joke was about something I actually had real problems with. At the time I just laughed a bit and smiled, maybe said something and later did something behind her back which destroyed the whole relationship. It was only later that I've learned to speak more about the stuff that really bothered me and come in terms with whatever problems I carried. If someone has tendency for passive aggressiveness I think the best way to deal with them is to ask more questions, did I offend you, if I did I didn't mean to, are you sure? really sure. Are you sure you are ok doing this... etc. Some people need a bit push for speaking up and to learn how to speak their mind, especially younger people.
Why do you say “bad passive aggressive issues”? I don’t believe it’s an issue to be passive aggression at all. There’s a lot of stigma around that term but as someone who is passive aggressive, I’m not ashamed because it’s a tool I use to empower myself, and everyone needs empowerment.
I love your everything and I consider you along (or alongside ?) with Benjamin to be the most genuine teachers of English. I have realized that there is one word in most of your sentences in this lesson which actually plays an important role in terms of passive-aggressive situations. it is "But,"! the speaker says sth then everything gets serious suddenly when they say "But". For instance, to elaborate my hatred of this word: A: I love you ... But, I can't marry you! B: wtf!
Thank you for starting your talk with "a person behaving passive-aggressively finds it hard to say what they really want to say and what they really mean, sometimes they feel like they can't be directly angry." I think that oftentimes we don't understand our behaviors, we don't know how to handle our feelings. Good job!
Interesting, I have never heard about passive aggression, and never seen it . Being kindly-angry or politely-rude relatively anotheris quite unusual way of emotions' expression. As these words antonyms , may be better not to embody them simultaneously in real actions. It is collapse syntaxly, and in actions it leads to improper perception. Looking for an Inkling of bad intents a person simply may become too suspicious. All that have been said badly is inverted version of something GOOD and that the point. They compliment you that You are a wonderful teacher. Let them envy...
Thank you Jade ! I've just watched your videos, and discovered a lot about your deep , sensitive , frank and sincere personality . I also like your English pronunciation , it is special , love it
I am the passive aggressive one! How can I deal with it without losing my job, my friends, my family and my partner? I feel like everybody wants my attention and wants to be my priority. When I say no to their demands they are or upset, or blaming or disappointed. I take too much on my plate and end up in passive aggressive behavior. It seems I am procrastinating while I just cannot keep all the balls up, I’m late cause I run from one thing to another, I don’t finish stuff cause I’m always interrupted. I feel like everybody is pulling on me! Sometimes when I just need space for myself people respond in a passive aggressive way: what? You prefer taking a bath and reading a book than being with me!!! It’s exhausting! How can we be more successful and relaxed in life? Single mom working fulltime and a BG that complains I am not available. Which is so too… I almost don’t sleep anymore cause I am running behind the facts. I feel burning out 😵💫
last minute cancellation happened to me recently for the first time in my life, thank god I have never encountered people like that before. Either you are reliable and trustworthy or you don't deserve to have any sort of contact with me. I think it was not a case of passive-aggressiveness though, the person decided to avoid me instead of saying it to my face that they didn't want to continue the contact. I wouldn't have been angry or anything, not everyone has to get along but what angers me are cat and mouse games like these, wasting my time. So good riddance.
omg she wearing a cape is so adorable
Bilge very passive aggressive
Mario Duenas that’s what I thought!!!
@@mayito3334 ??? It's a compliment.
Its passive aggressive
@@SR77736 lmao
Also adding on to the "If you say so" and "Fair enough" responses there's also my all time favorite, "If you insist." 🙄
I hate hearing "fair enough"
Is everything passive aggressive to you?
Fair enough isn't always passive aggressive, though if you say say so and if you insist pretty much always are
@@tiffb1300 so what’s better to say, that’s fair. Leave the word enough off?
Dear Jade, you are more a Psychologist than an English Teacher! This your video was very helpful for me with the psychological side! Bravo!
Whenever someone says "Can I ask you a question?" I reply with "You just did."
Me too.. 😂
But you still haven’t answered it.
@@slapmyfunkybass You got me there. I could just say "Yes, you COULD" and keep walking :)
I say no
Lol...same... followed by "and thatll be all ...bye"
Fascinating, i didn't recognize that i could be using passive aggression in school- leading into my addiction of procrastination😟. Thanks for the video😅
😅🔑
No! That's just called being lazy!!!
This helps me see my unhealthy habits and inspires me to be more honest, thank you!
I so agree with you lol
Honesty and verbal communication are two very different things
@@jfloyo11 I think she means being more honest with what she’s thinking and feeling with a person
there is probably nothing wrong with the way you communicate as long as you do not have evil intent...and even then its perfectly fine as long as you dont break the law. There is nothing wrong with being who you are...if you dont want to talk to someone then dont...if you dont want to respond to someone then dont...its that simple. Don't listen to this lady's "we are all friends" nonsense way of communicating.
It's nice to see another video from you, your personality sets you apart from everyone else! It's really like you are giving us a taste of your true self, not as others who hide behind a fake character.
Keep it up, teacher Jade!
That's why I love her so much. She is my first English teacher on TH-cam. Still she's the best for me.
I enjoyed listening! I've been struggling with passive aggressive people in my life. Thanks for helping me identify the characteristics.
yeah it's true Jade:)
Agree. Teacher Jade is as real as it gets.
Thank you for bringing these passive aggressive mind game examples to light. It helps me know I am not crazy when witnessing it. As an immigrant living in Seattle I continually hear people state as a given that it’s a predominantly passive aggressive culture. So it’s a lifelong project for my straightforward self to navigate this subversive manipulation 🙄
this video is pure garbage.
I need one of those capes in my closet! 😂
This type of lessons is very good, and I feel it's kind of treatment in fixing relations and simplifying understanding between people... Thank you for making life easier.
Thank you for watching. Glad you appreciated this lesson.
@@engvidJade this is garbage...you pretend like your form of communicating is better than another persons...simply because you respond to certain forms of communication. lololol thats called being naive
You're getting to be my favorite teacher. You're genuine and brave. Not everybody would have the courage to bring up that crafty remark about the hair allegedly sticking out from your nose. Anyway, anyone who had the slightest notion of decency would never ever have said that to you in comments. Cudos to you.
Thanks for watching.
Facial expressions were priceless! So funny to watch 😂
Totally agree. Your comment deserves much more likes. As well as Jade's video
FYI...forcing someone to be rude to you vs ignoring you is not the right trade off... people don't need to get emotional verbally with you just because you respond to only certain forms of communication
They say you learn something every day I just learned I'm Covert Passive-Aggressive!
I like how she felt the need to wear a cape
This is scary how often you hear these things in everyday life. I’ve even been known to use some myself - scary! Great lesson and well presented as always.
Welcome to humanity
It’s official…… i’m passive aggressive I’m borderline Alzheimer and autistic as well😳
So what's the correct way to express those feelings? What should be said instead?
Yay! Jade's slaying! You know, we teachers learn to detect the intentions behind a person's speech... Always. I'm happy that you don't let yourself fall down due to evil people. They exist everywhere. By the way, I think you're an excellent English teacher. Who said you weren't??? You're not afraid of showing your personality and I'm sure many students love you for that reason.
The way a person communicates is the way they communicate...one way isn't better or worse than the other
Can the behaviour of a depress person be mistaken for some of these behaviours?
Oh my! Your expressions are remarkable, really. I laughed a lot. And the lesson is great also. Thank you so much x
If you want to protect yourself from passive aggressive comments, maybe you should avoid making fun of filipino accent.
Really missed your videos, keep up the great work
oh my god. now I know how I must look to other people. I have adhd and a lot of things I do to other people because of that. and I don't think its exclusively passive aggressive. Although I think I am not good at expressing anger, so sometimes I might be still passive aggressive. I really wanna turn to be assertive instead.
If you think it's fun to be passive aggressive keep being that way. How does it feel to have adhd?
Same here
I’m particularly PA to people who act that way to me. I give them a taste of their own medicine. Cant prove shit!
Me too
I have passive-aggressive tendencies. But I didn't realise it until I watched this. Thankyou.
These are accurate, but let’s not forget there is also another kind of toxic people who will accuse you of being passive aggressive when you’re doing all of the above as part of your life and not on purpose to anger someone.
I Don't usually comment videos, but I must say u are amazing. I found your videos a few days ago and there are so many interesting topics u are talking about. Haven't even realized someone might actually comment person's hair color or smth like that.. this is just gross.. please be urself and keep doing ur videos. These are very useful for those who really into English not bullying.
Don't mind the haters Jade we love you, you're awesomely amazing, wish you had more videos on this channel teaching us. Greetings from France
She was being passive expressive when she explained why she is wearing a cape 😂😂😂
Okay, I'm here to see my negative actions being listed. Thanks for the reminder to be a better person.
I’ve never understood passive aggression. Thank you so much for making this video. My partner is extremely passive aggressive, which I believe he learned from his wife of 30 years. She was EXTREMELY manipulative and passive aggressive. Because of your video, I’ve pointed out ways in which he’s passive aggressive, and before, all I could communicate was to say “we need better communication”. But now, I can give specific examples and hopefully solve the problem, as we’re getting married in a couple of months” I’m very excited to find this video, and I believe it’s going to help us immensely. Thank you so much!!!!!
Good luck....you will desperately need it
Run!
A covert narcissist blaming his ex
I think it's important to keep in mind the intention of the person using these phrases or behavior. For example, I am used to being a bit on the passive side (something I'm working on, tough home life stuff) so sometimes my niceness may come off is disingenuous, when I really meant no harm at all. Then, some people who are disorganized are especially prone to forgetfulness and unreliability. The video could be misleading in this way. A combination of these issues, for me, has ended up with a perfectly put together display of these passive aggressive tendencies, which I never even intentionally meant as passive aggression. Of course this is no excuse for hurting someone in this way (I am really working on these things) but I have been accused by practically all of my partners and friends at some point or another, or frequently, or purposely being snarky or rude. I honestly didnt even realize that "fair enough" or "to each his own" or "suit yourself" etc were passive aggressive phrases, since these are things I have seen many passive folks use in argumentative situation. I say these things all the time, so thank you for sharing these and giving us a heads up on how this stuff is accidentally coming across (Now that you point it out, I say a lot of people definitely do say these things as a way to be manipulative.)
Perhaps I am just not fully understanding what passive aggression is
When I feel that I'm being intruded upon, I will become passive aggressive very quickly.
For example: You come over to my house, my place of security without letting me know you were coming? oooooh!!! I'll let you in with a kilowatt smile, go back to my bed room, close the door, and just stand there at the door, hoping you get the point and leave with, "I'll see you later."😥 Great sigh of relief!!!
Isn't that terrible?🙁 I love my space. I am myself, mostly me when I'm to myself. I don't have to greet, smile, or pretend like I'm happy to see you when I'm not.
I can be myself. When you call to tell me you are coming, you give me the chance to get in the right attitude to be socially engaging. Am I wrong for feeling so strongly about my personal space?
I am the same exact way.! And I told this to my landlord / who is also a so called friend... And guess what? Couple weeks later he comes to my apartment unannounced knocking on the door and brought a friend with him... This isn't the first passive-aggressive thing he's done, and so I just simply stuck my head out the door and said oh I'm sorry I'm just getting ready to leave... Which I actually was but not for a little bit...
It's super irritating to me because it's like they assume that you have nothing better to do with your time than to entertain them at their whim...
Great video, loved the examples, spot on, keep up the good work Jade! It's taken a long time but I'm beginning to realize that a close family-member is passive-agressive, he's so careless & irresponsible, doesn't care about the consequences of actions & never seems to learn from mistakes. Takes forever to get anything done, doesn't ackowledge you when entering the house, keeps quiet most of the time, keeps conversations very short & answers questions by saying, "whatever," "you know, it is what it is," "we'll figure it out." Unfortunately, it's very immature and destructive behavior.
You nailed it! I suffered from a chronic passive aggressive person at work, who yearns to hurt me all the time. I tried to be nice with him ,but the more nice I become the more aggressive he become. I hated my job because of him , I just don't know how to deal with such people.
giving someone the cold shoulder is perfectly fine along with the silent treatment if that is what is needed in a given situation. different forms of communication are needed in different situations.
You were a master passive-aggressive, making a dish looks horrible is on a whole other level of creativity, LMAO!
Some of these things are not always passive aggresive, i guess depending on how you say them.
"Can I ask you a question" is just a normal way in Germany to introduce a question.
Which way to the gas chamber?
@@lindamon5101 Exactly. "Chamberlor" is also the title of the highest ranking politician in Germany, just google it.
@@larsw8776 hence the politicians gaslighting.
Lars, why do you think it might be so? My guess is that people in Germany are more direct and more honest even if they have to deal with uncomfortable situations. In my language (Ukrainian) there seems to be no issue at with 'Can I ask you', either. In my opinion, Brits are so polite and/or indirect that being direct in the uncomfortable situations makes them even more uncomfortable. For example, Jade mentioned working in the fake Italian restaurant. And she served the deserts as poorly as possible but just passing. That was a non-verbal message to other employees: "alarm! I am having a problem! Help!" And the more careful manager should have talked to Jade back then. Asking her the right question and providing her with the WARM shoulder. Not the cold one. So, talking over the problem could have sorted the problem out. And as the result, Jade could have enjoyed her restaurant work more. She might have stayed there longer and been promoted. And... We all would have never had such lovely lessons from Jade. Mixed blessing, isn't it?
The cape is amazing! The worst is receiving a rude disrespectful remark and they respond with, “I’m joking” 😢
You got my like for wearing that cape, reason is very funny😂
Refraining from communication can be seeming self control to the passive aggressive person. Being argumentative and contentious, on the other hand expresses intolerance with a person they coexist.
OMG 😮 I do all of this (except the dishes one)
I didn't know I was passive agresive but it makes sense because I just started therapy and she told me I have to start saying what I want/feel/thinl
My passive aggressiveness ahas saved countless lives, because if I had to be actively aggressive they would be in real trouble.
I have just recognized why I need to be passive all the time.OMG feelings with over-crying still processing what I missed from my childhood.
Hope u find healing.. ❤ Matt 11:28-29.. 🔑
What did you miss from your childhood?
“Fake Italian restaurant, fake” yeah, didn’t sound very loving indeed! Love!
I love your stuff, Jade. I wish you all the success. Thanks for your help!
You lifted my mood because you made me laugh out loud a few times.
I really like the way you explain the things with lots of gestures and expressions. Thank you for the great lessons:)
I admire your teaching style! Thank you for your hard work!
You're a really great teacher even though I'm a native you've helped me understand more about passive aggressiveness
Thanks for the informative video and sharing that you used to be stuck in the habit of being passive aggressive yourself. The irony is that most of my passive aggressive behavior seems to stem from my long ingrained people pleasing tendency and fear of confrontation 😅 it’s so hard to change this behavior when you’ve been doing it forever, but I’m gonna try my best.
So basically what passive aggressiveness is when you deny to say what is truly on your mind?
So basically everything is passive aggression, except for active aggression. Got it.
LOL
Right……jeez
I just realized that I’m speaking this language all the time 🤦🏻♀️ I’m awful 😶 thank you for the video, love you 💗
I wish I had this class in RL.
That is so me omg 😮 😂😂😂
Once my bf told me that he doesn’t feel like going out and at first I said it’s okay then I got mad and I gave him the silent treatment
I hope u stopped..? 💭 That's toxic.. 😕
Soooooo cuuuute 🥰🥰🥰 especially with the pikachu pic
Don't feel guilty about that. Some people don't really want to understand the others behaviour and think it's passive aggressive, but they are not able to understand - maybe they are touchy.
@@nm92xxx no we are not touchy , we just too smart to be fooled. "The denial tactic" is not working.
imad n Well, if you say so ...
A really helpful video from a really nice teacher! Your hair looks great btw ;)
I will never understand why people behave like that. Isn't it just easier to say what you mean? ;) I'm not a mind reader.
Yeah better like that, not easy for anyone tho.
Samuel Erickson couldn't agree more. We were taught if you have nothing nice to say say nothing at all but guess that's being passive aggressive as well, haha.
everyone is not simple and cunning people dominate simple, good and nice people. we cannot change the world so better learn these things to defense yourself
I am guilty of behaving passive aggressively because I grew up in a home where it was not safe to be direct. Being direct meant being subjected to the wrath of an extremely controlling and unsympathetic woman, my Great grandmother, who ran the household. My grandparents abandoned my mother to her as a child and my father left when I was a small child, which I use to blame them for leaving, but I am starting to think they had good reasons to not come around. I was not taught how to be direct and eventually buried my feelings to try and stay sane. I don't trust people because my family made the world a scary place, but that is slowly changing. I am currently in therapy and have been trying to stop a lot of automatic behaviors from my childhood that are triggered when in familiar situations. As I see the behaviors I know I do or have done, I feel a deep sense of guilt for ever partaking in such behavior. I was in a relationship that wasn't a good fit for me for far too long and it became toxic. It hurts knowing I only dragged out both of our pain for longer than I should have because I couldn't be direct. I was so cut off from my needs, feeling and self, that I wasn't able to be direct I am not proud of any of it and I don't take pleasure in knowing what I was unaware of has hurt people. I am grateful that now I have become more direct with communication and my needs are being met. This is what abuse will do to a person and it is no excuse for anything, but a little empathy can go a long way for a person like me. I hope this sheds a little light on the behavior a bit.
I would say some can change, but it is the responsibility of that person. I met my partner when we were teenagers and we both shared a broken childhood with abusive parents. You could say we were both emotionally unavailable; however, after a series of life events I became unable to cope with life and went to therapy. It has been a hard and long five years with more to come, but I had to own all the pain I went through as a kid and figure out my needs and feelings. Actually the inner voices in my head were passive aggressive towards me! I had to learned to distinguish the voices of controlling adults from my childhood from my own to stop people pleasing and engaging in toxic behaviors because I realized the pain it was causing others. I realized my partner and I had different morals and values, especially when it came to religion, family and goals. If I had been in a healthy mindset when we had met, it would have been a deal breaker, but I was so desperate to feel connected and loved with someone... anyone that I stayed. It was a hard pill to swallow when I had to admit that I didn't know what real love was and had to leave. Am I able to love? I hope I am, since I have met a new partner and I for once in my life feel safe and heard.
Passive agressive is a good thing to the person doing it.
Some people are LATE, because they don't have a proper "sense of time" Just like, some people are better at cooking, tidiness, sports, or humor, fashion, elegance, dancing, etc. It's horrible that this component of being HUMAN is always judged as being purposefully directed at an individual. People who have problems with TIME mostly disappoint themselves the most.
English classes become beautiful when you emphasize the themes on real life, like the psychology of certain people and their behaviour as passive aggressive. Really useful
Omg I never my way of avoiding confrontation when I'm angry is so passive-aggressive 😯. At least I can try to change my ways now, thanks for the video!
My view of these examples is that they're all responses in a rude, disrespectful and impolite manner, showing total disregard or consideration towards another person - knowing it's hurtful. It's of corse always best to be kind and warm, avoiding hostile undertones. Treat others how you would prefer to be treated.
In a nutshell thank you
You're very special, Jade!!! And I love your videos!!!!
Passive Aggressive:
Oops..I forgot
Oops..I forgot
But I DO forget . Honestly
You’re teaching method is really good - with the right expressions and supporting scenarios. Please do more videos like these. Thanks!
Wow at last, and this is 2021, another person than myself has experienced the inevitable insult that follows upon :"Can i ask you a question?". Not once has that question been otherwise than a disaster, an insult, the divulging of the true nature of the person who asks the question
Passive aggression is abuse... period. Thank you for your video. Keep on :)
It is? Oh shit I'm dumb
lmao no its not. passive agressive to a large extent is but other than that its ok
Depends on the context
I feel like passive aggressiveness came from rich nobility who were deeply jealous of each other but too cowardly to fight.
You look great with the cape! Love you Jade.
When someone asks me if they can ask me a question, I usually try to answer something like : well, you can always ask but I'm not sure if I will answer.
Thanks for the great video again! You are an outstanding English teacher, and I enjoy your videos so much! And I don't actually think that you should pay attention to angry comments, because they are written by envious people: you look great, you have a very beautiful voice and you also have a huge audience of trusty listeners.
Great video Jade! You way of teaching English is very good, I understand more of the culture and meaning of the language👍🏻
Dearest, why would anyone direct anything but good comments on you videos? You’re a natural and I so appreciate you, do carry on, won’t you, please. Cheers
Oh my god,ever been to the Philippines ?You nailed it with that secretary and photocopies.The entire country is passive agressive.
I appreciate your willingness to "normalize" passive aggression because I have become aware of my passive aggressive tendencies. I have come to believe it to be a symptom of depression and anger against "the world" during COVID. I am concerned I am hurting the children who depend upon me to understand myself enough to not project my anger about being overwhelmed with chores just because I cannot motivate them to help.
I've said to people that have been furious with me " it's ok, your anger is yours not mine."
I don't believe that's passive aggressive. It's making a point that just because they're angry doesn't mean you have to be equally so. A gentle enough reply does tend to make some people more angry though.
I've always knew that something was wrong with this legendary superpoliteness of English people I've been told about by each teacher I had :).
YOU have misunderstood this video. Sorry!
Can you explain please?
Aww. Jade doing the receptionist impression is so cute!
The cape of protection! Nice touch!
With someone who is having bad passive aggressive issues, you won't necessarily get any hint of what's going on. When I was younger my girlfriend at the time said a tiny tiny joke about me, just the two of us. And that joke was about something I actually had real problems with. At the time I just laughed a bit and smiled, maybe said something and later did something behind her back which destroyed the whole relationship. It was only later that I've learned to speak more about the stuff that really bothered me and come in terms with whatever problems I carried. If someone has tendency for passive aggressiveness I think the best way to deal with them is to ask more questions, did I offend you, if I did I didn't mean to, are you sure? really sure. Are you sure you are ok doing this... etc. Some people need a bit push for speaking up and to learn how to speak their mind, especially younger people.
Why do you say “bad passive aggressive issues”? I don’t believe it’s an issue to be passive aggression at all. There’s a lot of stigma around that term but as someone who is passive aggressive, I’m not ashamed because it’s a tool I use to empower myself, and everyone needs empowerment.
I thought the silent is already covert.... thank you go on... love this video from Cape till everything!
This is one of the most helpful videos i've seen about human behavior. I've always found it difficult to identify passive aggression
Thank You for sharing Your experience!
I love your everything and I consider you along (or alongside ?) with Benjamin to be the most genuine teachers of English. I have realized that there is one word in most of your sentences in this lesson which actually plays an important role in terms of passive-aggressive situations. it is "But,"! the speaker says sth then everything gets serious suddenly when they say "But". For instance, to elaborate my hatred of this word: A: I love you ... But, I can't marry you! B: wtf!
Thank you for starting your talk with "a person behaving passive-aggressively finds it hard to say what they really want to say and what they really mean, sometimes they feel like they can't be directly angry." I think that oftentimes we don't understand our behaviors, we don't know how to handle our feelings. Good job!
Yes exactly I wish I would’ve known this in the past it would’ve saved me a lot of headache
I just found your TH-cam by random luck. I cant wait to watch all your videos! I love learning and practicing stuff like this!
Interesting, I have never heard about passive aggression, and never seen it . Being kindly-angry or politely-rude relatively anotheris quite unusual way of emotions' expression. As these words antonyms , may be better not to embody them simultaneously in real actions. It is collapse syntaxly, and in actions it leads to improper perception. Looking for an Inkling of bad intents a person simply may become too suspicious. All that have been said badly is inverted version of something GOOD and that the point. They compliment you that You are a wonderful teacher. Let them envy...
It took me 10 years of using TH-cam to find you. Can't believe the stupid algorithm. Loved this video.
This lady has a unique teaching style,she makes funny mimes.Brilliant.
jade thanks for take your time and try to teach me i really appreciate
Thank you Jade ! I've just watched your videos, and discovered a lot about your deep , sensitive , frank and sincere personality . I also like your English pronunciation , it is special , love it
I absolutely adore you and your teaching. You're the best !
All my life I thought something was wrong with me, that something was missing.
This is it.👍
I never knew this!
Nice cape! 💘 the Halloweenesque look. Thanks for the detailed scrediption!
She has a calm voice very soothing. ❤
You ARE A SUPERB TEACHER! instantly subscribed!
I am the passive aggressive one! How can I deal with it without losing my job, my friends, my family and my partner?
I feel like everybody wants my attention and wants to be my priority. When I say no to their demands they are or upset, or blaming or disappointed.
I take too much on my plate and end up in passive aggressive behavior. It seems I am procrastinating while I just cannot keep all the balls up, I’m late cause I run from one thing to another, I don’t finish stuff cause I’m always interrupted.
I feel like everybody is pulling on me!
Sometimes when I just need space for myself people respond in a passive aggressive way: what? You prefer taking a bath and reading a book than being with me!!! It’s exhausting!
How can we be more successful and relaxed in life?
Single mom working fulltime and a BG that complains I am not available. Which is so too… I almost don’t sleep anymore cause I am running behind the facts.
I feel burning out 😵💫
In all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, this wonderful woman wearing a cape, has to walk into mine.
Jade you're nice tutor ! Don't pay attention to those ppl who are leaving offensive comments ! Keep going !!
Don't worry Fname Lname.... she's wearing a cape!! 😉
last minute cancellation happened to me recently for the first time in my life, thank god I have never encountered people like that before. Either you are reliable and trustworthy or you don't deserve to have any sort of contact with me. I think it was not a case of passive-aggressiveness though, the person decided to avoid me instead of saying it to my face that they didn't want to continue the contact. I wouldn't have been angry or anything, not everyone has to get along but what angers me are cat and mouse games like these, wasting my time. So good riddance.
💯💯💯💯💯